Sally decided to let Brad and me watch videos instead of actually taking a nap, so we sprawled on the rug in the Lawson’s living room - just like the times when I was babysitting Brad and “borrowing” his diapers, Only now my big sister Sally was sitting on the couch, chatting over a magazine with her friend Julie and “babysitting” me. After an hour of The Pokemon Adventure, and another bottle of juice, I was way overdue for a fresh diaper. But Brad was still dry. Sally made him sit on the potty, and then gave him a lot of praise when he did his business “like a big boy”.
“Brad’s going to be ready for training pants soon. You, on the other hand…” Sally got Julie to change my somewhat poopy diaper right there on the Lawson’s living room couch - just like Janet had the first night.
“Second time today,” muttered Julie, “You really are a lot of work, stinkypants.” But I had gotten used to the routine, so I just lay there contentedly sucking on my bottle and watching the tube. After Julie pulled my plastic pants back up, she surprised me by blowing a raspberry on my stomach. “I have to go now, so that’s a goodbye kiss for my little Jamie,” she smiled as she did up the crotch snaps on my shortalls.
I gave her a big smile, still sucking on my bottle. I was sorry to see her leave. Generally I could care less about my sisters’ friends, but I was beginning to like Julie a lot. After quiet time was over, Sally sent Brad and me out in the back yard to play in the sandbox. Crawling around in the sand with Brad’s trucks was fun. The two of us made a big road construction project. Then Janet came home and it was time to go.
“That’s a cute scene. Brad and his little friend Jamie, playing together in the sandbox,” she laughed. She whipped out her pocket camera and took a couple of snaps of the two of us before I could protest.
Sally had parked on the street in front of the house. She got my stroller and diaper bag out of her car. I noticed Uncle Charlie’s van parked in our driveway. He’s Tim, Jason and Josh’s dad, and like I already said, he’s really fun, but I was totally not excited about having him see me like this. I knew Uncle Charlie would have a field day about me getting “the baby treatment”. Before I could think of where to run and hide, Sally grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the house.
Uncle Charlie and dad were standing in the hall. “So, how’s the new baby?” Charlie looked me up and down. “Wow, Lulu has to see this…Jamie, you always were an adorable little tyke, but now you’ll make the record books – World’s Largest Toddler!”
“World’s largest pain in the neck,” said Sally, wrestling the stroller into the breezeway.
Charlie gave me a big grin and patted my shortalls on the butt just like Danielle had – it seemed to be hard to resist. His huge hand whumped against my diapers and made my plastic pants crinkle. “So, you’re wearing your own personal port-a-potty! Very cute, very cute, and from what I hear, very practical…”
Dad was cracking up. “Come on upstairs, Jamie, and see what Charlie brought over for you.”
Uncle Charlie kept talking as we all trooped up the stairs. “You know, we’ve been carrying this line for years, and I realized the possibilities right off the bat. For a while I was thinking that Tim might end up in one of these, and then Josh came closer than you’d think, but Lulu kept saying, ‘Don’t embarrass the kid, he’ll dry up, it’s just a phase.’ So when I heard that you were having your own little phase yourself, Jamie, I realized that this was the perfect opportunity. I mean as long as your folks were redecorating and all…”
I followed dad upstairs. Mom was already in my room, putting things away in my bureau, but the bureau wasn’t my bureau, and my room didn’t look like my room any more. All my posters and books were gone. A wide strip of Winnie-the-Pooh wallpaper had been pasted around the walls. Almost all my old stuff was gone, and instead there was a bunch of Brad’s picture books and toys. There was a new, smaller bureau, painted white with little red and yellow stars for knobs and a big white toy box with cut-out stars on it like the bureau.. . My desk was covered with a giant baby blue changing pad and there was a tall stacker thing filled with piles of diapers and plastic pants. The curtains were new too – blue with a Winnie-the-Pooh pattern on them – a Winnie-the-Pooh pattern matching the sheets on my…. crib.
“…The line is called “Crib-to-College”, which is pretty funny already, and we sell more of the stuff than you’d think. I guess people like the idea that one piece of furniture will solve all their problems. It’s supposed to convert from a crib, to a junior bed, to a full-size bed, just by changing a few screws and swapping the various components around. Well, I noticed that you could easily build yourself a “college-size” crib if you wanted. But we haven’t actually had any college students asking for cribs, or even high-school kids – until now.”
Charlie went over to the crib and showed how you could lift up the side rail. “This locks it in place, and when you want to slide it down you just press the button down here. So, Jamie, do you like it? I chose the white finish to go with the new bureau and your…uh…changing table. And, Alice, that Pooh wallpaper is just the perfect touch. For a one-day makeover, this is pretty impressive. You should send in some pictures and get on TV. Though I’m not sure whether it should be on “Cribs” or “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”
“Well, Jamie, what do you think? You should thank Charlie for all the trouble he’s gone to. He’s giving you this brand new special crib and a brand new mattress too. And this one has a plastic cover to protect it, so it won’t get ruined like your old mattress did. ” Mom gave me a meaningful look.
“Uhh, it’s nice of you, Uncle Charlie…But, Mom, do you really expect me to sleep in a crib? What happened to all my stuff?”
“You will use your new crib, just like you will use your playpen and your highchair, until we think that you’re ready to go back to grown-up things. And we’re putting the rest of your big boy stuff away until then too. I think these toys and books are much more appropriate for a child who is still in diapers.”
“But, Mom, you said it was just two months with the diaper service. This looks like you’re going to give me the baby treatment forever.” I couldn’t help it, I felt my cheeks getting hot and the angry tears starting to spurt up again.
“You’ll be a baby for as long as you keep acting like one,” said Dad. “And crying is definitely not going to help. Remember…two months was the minimum. After that you can begin earning back some of your adult privileges. Meantime, get used to it. Now smile, and thank Charlie properly unless you’re interested in a spanking.”
I forced a smile, “Thanks, Uncle Charlie.”
“I’m sorry, kiddo, I thought that you enjoyed all this baby stuff. Lulu told me you were always snitching Josh’s pampers. I mean, I thought this was fun for you.”
“Well, it is kind of fun in some ways,” I mumbled, blushing.
Mom snorted, “Fun enough to steal and USE little Brad Lawson’s diapers for weeks before you were caught. And that was just the latest incident. Remember, you were the one who chose to climb into that playpen. We’re planning to let you stay there quite a while before we let you climb back out.”
“Speaking of climbing, why don’t you try getting into your new crib,” said Dad, “see how it fits.” I had to stand on the toy box to get over the rail, even before Charlie raised it up with a solid click. The crib was about the same size as my old single bed, but it felt different having those white wooden bars all around. I could feel the plastic mattress cover crunkling under me as I lay down.
“Cute as a bug. That crib was made for you, if I say so myself,” Uncle Charlie chuckled. “You definitely won’t roll out of bed. You might even have a bit of trouble climbing out unless the rail’s down. But I guess wearing your own port-a-potty means you won’t be making any midnight trips to the john.” He let down the side-rail again and helped me out - not without another pat on my diapered rear.
“Oh, Jamie, look at the state of your overalls. You’re covered in sand, and now it’s all over the new sheets. Let’s get them off you right away.”
I was pretty grimy from the sandbox, not to mention the ketchup at lunch. Mom tugged the crotch snaps apart and yanked my shortalls right over my head. I was left standing there just in my diaper and blue polo shirt.
“Now that’s a neat trick, Alice. So where’d you get him those giant rubber pants?”
“Oh, Jamie bought those for himself, if you can believe it, but I’ve ordered some more from the Tidee-Didee people. All right, Jamie, you’re okay dressed like that. You won’t need any shorts. We were going to go out to ChiChi’s, but I think we’ll just stay home this evening.”
“That’s good, because the sight of Jamie at ChiChi’s in nothing but his diapers would probably start a riot, “Uncle Charlie laughed. “ I’ve got to be heading home now, though it’s clear all the entertainment is happening over here.”
Mom and Dad made me follow Uncle Charlie out to the driveway to wave bye to him, but I hung behind on the breezeway. I didn’t want to start that riot, after all. Even so the guy mowing the neighbors’ lawn across the street shot me a puzzled stare.
Charlie rolled down the window of his van and said, “Now Alice, Don…don’t forget about our anniversary party next weekend. Lulu is making a big thing out of it – she wants it formal – she’s making me squeeze into my old wedding suit – but I think she just wants an excuse to wear her famous backless wedding dress again.”
“Oh that’ll be great, Charlie. How many years is it?”
“Fifteen. Remember, Jamie was only a baby…I mean, a little baby…And actually he came dressed just like he is now, if I remember correctly.”
“Oh no, Charlie, I put Jamie in that adorable little sailor suit Lulu handed down from Timmy.”
“That’s right. Timmy was almost three by then – which is a tad embarrassing in retrospect, our taking three years to tie the knot, but there’s no embarrassing Lulu.”
“Who’s counting now?” said Mom, “You know, I bet I could still fit into the dress I wore. Do you still have your old blue suit, Don?”
“I had to have it altered, but, yeah, I wear that sometimes.”
“Maybe we’ll all come as we were. Wouldn’t that be a blast? I’ll have to get busy.” Mom cast me a measuring glance.
“Well, just remember to show up, whatever you do. See you, Jamie, sweet dreams in your new beddy-bye!”
“Bye, Uncle Charlie!” I ducked inside before the lawn mower guy came round again for a closer look.
The crib was pretty much the final straw for me. What was left of my normal teenage life? In less than a week my parents and my sisters had taken away all my adult privileges - things I had totally taken for granted, like eating in a regular chair, or choosing my own clothes, or even using the toilet. It seemed they were doing everything they could to show me that I was now no longer a teenager, but a toddler.
I had to wear a bib at every meal. I drank all my milk or juice from baby bottles or sippy cups. I was kept in diapers round the clock, and changed by Mom or Dad or my sisters at least three or four times a day. At home I generally wore just a diaper, plastic pants and a t-shirt, and when we went out, I was dressed in babyish shorts, snap-shoulder t-shirts, overalls, or rompers (Mom had been busy sewing as well as re-decorating). We usually took along my stupid stroller too, not to mention that humiliating Winnie-the-Pooh diaper bag.
But we didn’t go out much. Mostly I stayed home or at Brad’s. It was like being a baby prisoner. My sisters were delegated to babysit me in shifts – Jillian had me in the mornings, and Sally took care of both me and Brad in the afternoons.
There was no one I could talk to. My whole family had ganged up to make a joke out of me, and as for my friends…How could I let them see me this way?, Luckily Jeff was still away at camp. I knew that if I ran into any of the other kids from school they would be grossed out by all the baby crap, let alone my crappy diapers. Look at the way that guy Steve had reacted…I knew I wouldn’t last a minute with kids my age. The only real friend I had now was Brad, who wasn’t even three years old.
And now my parents had turned my room into a nursery, complete with a changing table and a crib. I felt like a freak.
At the same time, wearing diapers was still the biggest turn-on for me. I loved being in my new crib, jerking off into the wet cloth bunched between my legs. And all the attention I was getting from my family was actually kind of nice. It did get frustrating not having a choice about anything, but I kind of enjoyed my new routine of playing with Brad, hanging out in the playpen watching cartoons, and having my ass wiped for me. I started relaxing and getting into my baby role. And some of the new things were really fun, like being allowed to make a mess at mealtimes, not to mention just going in my diaper whenever I felt like it. Maybe I was a freak, but I was a pretty happy freak.
Then there was all the attention my freak show was beginning to attract. People kept popping by to see what was going on with me. Aunt Lulu came over for lunch to admire the new crib and to pat my cute little tush. And the next morning Pete came by from the diaper service, of course – he was supposed to come every week - but this time he brought along some guy who must have been his manager. I was in my room being dressed for the day by Jillian. Mom called up the stairs for me to bring down my diaper pail.
“But Mom, it’s super heavy!” I hollered back.
“Bring it down right now, Jamie, or you’ll be washing those diapers yourself!”
I had no idea that Pete and his manager were both standing in our front hall, so when I got to the landing I was kind of surprised, but not as surprised as Pete’s manager. I guess I was quite a sight in my puffy plastic pants and Thomas the Tank Engine T-shirt, staggering downstairs with that heavy yellow diaper pail.
“Here, let me give you a hand,” Pete said in a friendly way. “Quite a load you got there.”
“Yes, Jamie’s working hard at keeping you in business,” said Mom with a smile to the manager, who looked wide-eyed as Pete emptied the stinky contents of my personalized pail into a plastic bag..
“He’s certainly one of our bigger customers,” replied the manager with a chuckle.
“Now, Jamie, here are your fresh diapers, “ Mom said, taking a fluffy stack from Pete. “Be a good boy and put them up on your changing table.”
“Sure, Mom.” I could feel the two guys staring at my diapered butt as I toddled back up the stairs.
Later that same morning Julie and Mike came over to hang out with Jillian while she babysat me. I was riding around on my bike out in the backyard, so I did have my sneakers and socks on, but otherwise I was still dressed just in a t-shirt and diapers. My outfit left even less to the imagination than the shortalls Julie and Mike saw me wearing at the amusement park.
As they came into the backyard I heard Jillian complaining, “I’d love to do something with you guys, but I have to take care of the little twerp for four hours every day. Mom’s gotten super busy with her real estate, and Sally is already doing the afternoons.”
“Hiya, Jamie, said Julie, “How’s it going? Jillian taking good care of you?”
“Woahh, rubber pants! Jamie, you are styling!”, Mike guffawed.
We all played around in the back yard for awhile, kicking a ball around and playing a game Mike invented that he called “baby tag” – like freeze tag only you had to suck your thumb or crawl or some other baby thing. It was pretty fun, and Jillian asked them to stay for lunch. I knew that meant that she was going to show me off in my highchair like she had for aunt Lulu. Mike and Julie were totally into my “babyfication” – Mike’s word. Julie insisted on snapping the bib round my neck, and she was even ready to start spoon feeding me the Gerber toddler beef stew that was sitting on the counter.
“Jamie can eat pizza like the rest of us,” said Jillian. “He’s been a good boy all morning. Mom, just bought the Gerber food in case he starts acting up.”
“Couldn’t you just spank him,” chuckled Mike.
“We haven’t had to…yet. Besides, I don’t suppose he’d feel much through his diapers.”
Julie said, “I wouldn’t dream of spanking such a little cutie.”
The phone rang. It was Sally. She had been asked to stay on for the afternoon shift at McDonald’s, and she wanted Jillian to keep on babysitting me till she got back.
“Do I have to do Brad as well?”, asked Jillian, “No? Well at least that’s something” She hung up the phone. “Shit, I really wanted to go to the movies with you guys,” she grumbled to Mike and Julie.
“I can stay with Jamie,” Julie replied, “I don’t want to see that dumb movie anyway. I hate Zac Efron.”
“Hey, Julie chooses Baby Jamie over Zac Efron!” Mike laughed. “Ka-ching, brother, you’re doing pretty good for a guy who’s not even potty-trained.”
So Jillian gave Julie the run-down on my care and feeding. She cleaned up lunch, wiped my face off with the bib, and let me out of the highchair. “Jamie is supposed to take a nap in his crib right after lunch, but if he’s not too tired you can put him in the playpen to watch TV. He usually gets a bottle of juice. And don’t bother changing him until he gets up, even if he’s wet. There is a limit…”
“Crib?”, asked Mike, “you’re kidding. You just mean his room, right, not his bed?”
“No, I mean a real crib,” Jillian grinned, “You want to come up and see? Actually you look a little tired out from your big morning, Jamie. I think you should have a real nap.” She took my hand and led everyone upstairs on the “nursery tour”.
“Jillian, your family is seriously strange,” said Mike, as he and Julie gawked at all the baby stuff in my room. “You’re going to have to invite me for an overnight. I’m getting jealous.”
“Or you could just come over for naptime,” giggled Jillian, giving Mike a playful little hug. “Oops, we gotta get out of here, or we’ll miss the movie. You know what to do, Julie. We should be back before Mom or Sally show up. Have a fun time!”
“Be a good boy, James,” Mike said, staring in amazement as Julie helped me up in my crib and drew the curtains closed. I could hear Mike and Jillian drive away as Julie came back upstairs with a baby bottle of apple juice for me.
“Now, be quiet for a little while, and then we can go play.” I could see her smiling in the afternoon light that filtered through my new Winnie-the-Pooh curtains. She handed me the bottle of juice and brushed the bangs off my forehead. Then she gave me a little kiss. She gently pulled up the side rail and walked out, quietly shutting the door behind her. I actually did drift off to sleep, but not before wanking like crazy into my already damp diapers.
So I was a little surprised and more than a little embarrassed to get a boner all over again when Julie came back an hour later and announced in a sing-song voice that it was time for “a fresh diapey”. This was already the third time she had changed me, but it was the first time no one else was watching. I lay stretched out on the desk Mom had converted into a changing table, and my dick just sprang to attention when Julie undid the diaper pins.
“Ooh, looks like someone’s excited.”
“I’m sorry,” I blushed, trying to cover up my erection with both hands. Julie grabbed my wrist and guided my thumb into my mouth.
“You just hush, and think about your thumb instead of your weewee. I’ve got a job to do.” So I sucked my thumb and tried to relax while Julie worked me over with babywipes, Desitin and talcum powder, taking her time, and stroking my stiff little penis and balls until I almost came all over again.
“Little boys always get excited when they get nice, clean diapies!”, she sang, as she wrapped the soft cloth up between my legs and clicked shut the pins at my hips. She dusted my rubber pants with a sweet cloud of baby powder, then tugged them up over the soft, fluffy diapers. It felt great. Best of all, she gave me another funny raspberry kiss on the tummy. I gave her a big hug as she helped me off the changing table.
“Now, aren’t you the sweetest, most affectionate little guy! Let’s go downstairs and get you a snack.”
The sun had clouded over, and it had started to rain. So after Julie fixed me up with some carrot sticks and another bottle of cranberry juice, we decided to play a board game.
“Chutes and ladders?”, she suggested
“Monopoly, then. Though I’m glad to know that there’s something that’s too babyish for you.”
We were having a good time sitting around on the rug in the den. I was even winning. Then the phone rang, and Julie jumped up to pick it up.
“Hello. No, she’s not here. No, I’m Julie, I’m babysitting Jamie.” My heart sank. “Oh, you want to talk to him? Hang on…” She smiled, handing me the phone. “It’s your friend, Jeff.”
I grabbed the phone, “Hi Jeff! You back already?”
“Yeah, camp finished last weekend, but the counselors had to stay a couple of days to pack up and have meetings about next year. It’s great to be back.”
“Was it fun, did you have a good time?”
“Sure, I was thinking maybe you could come over and I could tell you about it. My dad says he could come pick you up.”
“Uh…I can’t right now. I’m sort of grounded.”
“Well, how about if I came over to your house. Nothing’s going on here.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I’d have to ask Mom or Dad and they’re out.” Julie smiled, watching me squirm.
“So they got you a babysitter? Who’s that girl on the phone?”
“Oh, that’s Julie, she’s my sisters’ friend. She was just joking.”
“Real funny sense of humor. I thought you were the one doing the babysitting. How’s that been going? You’ve been watching a lot of Teletubbies with Brad?”
“Yeah…So, Jeff, I’ll ask my folks when I can come over. I’ll call you back later, okay? I mean…it’s great that you’re back!”
“Sure, take it easy. Don’t let your babysitter give you too hard a time.”
“She was just kidding.”
“Yeah, right. Well, let me know if ‘Mommy’ gives you permission and you can come for a ‘sleepover’. How about Sunday?”
“Yeah…It would be great to spend the night…”
“Sure, it would be cool. Just let me know when.” We said goodbye.
What was I going to do? Jeff was my best friend. We’d known each other forever, and I couldn’t imagine explaining to him about the diapers, or any of the other things that had been going on. I was going to have to ask Mom and Dad to give me some kind of break.
I hung up the phone and almost yelled, “Julie, what do you mean telling my best friend that you’re ‘babysitting’ me? I mean, what’s he going to think?” I was crying with anger.
“What was I supposed to say, honey? I could have said that I was just here to fix you bottles and occasionally change your diapers. In my book that’s babysitting.”
“You could have just said nothing,” I wept.
“I’m sorry, Jamie. Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Come on. Let’s finish the game.” She washed my tears off with a baby wipe, and gave me a kiss.
So Julie and I went back to playing Monopoly. I told her a little about Jeff and about how I was worried about him knowing I was being kept in diapers. She suggested that I go ahead and ask my parents really nicely to make an exception for visiting Jeff’s house. This idea cheered me up a lot, even though I told Julie I didn’t think they would go for it. Just then Mom walked in the door.
“Why hello, Julie, this is a nice surprise,” said Mom, dumping a bunch of shopping bags by the door. “Where’s Sally? I thought she was going to be here this afternoon.” Julie explained the whole scenario. Mom replied, “I hope Jamie’s been a good boy for you.”
“Jamie’s been good as gold, Mrs. Bennett. We had a lot of fun.”
I gathered up my nerve, “Mom?”
“Jeff called. He’s back from camp.”
“Isn’t that nice? How is he?”
“He’s fine. He wanted me to come over Sunday night.”
“Oh really, well… Are you sure you want to go out visiting under the circumstances?” She glanced down at my bulging plastic pants.
“Of course not, Mom, I really don’t want Jeff to see me in diapers. Please, Mom, couldn’t you let me go back to normal, just for one night?”
“I’ll have to ask your father. Remember, you’re only just starting your second week with the diaper service. It seems a little soon to start bending the rules, but if you really are getting sick of it…I guess that’s the point of this whole exercise, isn’t it?”
“So it’s okay, Mom, really? Please, please!” Mom smiled. I hoped that meant yes.
Julie told Mom that it was time for her to be getting along.
“Thanks, Julie. You’ve been really kind to stay and watch Jamie.”
Julie laughed, “I’ll be happy to babysit him anytime.”
“I might just take you up on that offer, Julie. In fact, what are you doing tomorrow night? We have to go out to a restaurant for my sister’s anniversary dinner, and there’s dancing afterward. I’m afraid it’s going to go way past Jamie’s new bedtime.”
“I’m not doing anything tomorrow. When would you want me come?”
“Not until after five. My sister Lulu is making a whole day of it. Her actual wedding was nowhere near this elaborate, but I guess she’s making up for it now. First they’re renewing their vows, then they’re inviting everyone who was at the original wedding to some kind of picnic…then there’s this big dinner, and we’re all supposed to dress up as close as we can to what we wore fifteen years ago. I’ve still got my old outfit, and I just found some cute lacy pink dresses for Jillian and Sally that are sort of like what they wore as flower girls…they were just little then. Oh, that reminds me…Jamie, take off your shirt. Here, I want you to try something on.”
My t-shirt was pretty much all I was wearing. I looked over sort of shyly toward Julie, but Mom gave me a meaningful glance, so I took off my shirt. Then she pulled something out of one of her shopping bags. “Rita – she’s one of the women in my office – whipped this up practically overnight. I mentioned the idea to her a few days ago, and I knew I wouldn’t have time to do it myself, but then she thought it sounded so cute...” She shook out a thing made of blue fabric and slipped it over my head.
“Come on, Jamie, lift up your arms,” she shoved my hands through the armholes of what seemed like a very short dress.
I screamed, “I won’t! I won’t! You can’t make me wear a dress! I’m not a girl! You can treat me like a baby, but I’m not a girl!”
“Shush! Silly, it’s not a dress. Stand still.” Mom reached down between my legs and started snapping the garment together. Four crotch snaps turned the dress into a kind of romper. Then she tied two loose ends of ribbon which hung down the front into a bow. “There you are!” Mom cooed, “Isn’t that precious!”
I was wearing a light blue romper suit, with a big white sailor collar. It had short sleeves and legs and a little pocket in front with a gold embroidered anchor. Mom pulled a tiny version of the same outfit out of her bag. “See, I gave Rita his old one to copy, and I just told her that now he was 5’-10 and 140 pounds, and see, it’s a perfect fit! Rita even made sure to leave plenty of extra room for his diapers…When I told her that Jamie was back in diapers, she just thought it was too funny. She insisted on getting a picture…Oh, we’ll have to take pictures.”
“Totally sweet,” Julie smiled.
“Mom, I am not going to wear this to the party,” I said, staring her straight in the eye and looking as serious as a guy could wearing a sailor suit romper.
She stared straight back, “Then I guess you won’t be going to Jeff’s house, unless of course you want me to call his mother and explain that you’ll be bringing your little diaper bag along with you. I wonder if she would mind changing you in the morning?”
“Mom!” Shit…she had me by the short hairs as usual. “All right, I’ll wear the stupid sailor suit, as long as I can go to Jeff’s on Sunday without you humiliating me.” My eyes were watering again. Why was I such a crybaby?
“Good choice, Jamie.” Then Mom’s look softened. “Look, honey, if you really are serious about ending the baby treatment, I’ll talk to Dad. Maybe after this weekend we could let you go back to being a big boy again. Meanwhile, you look just darling in that sailor outfit. It’s so nice to have my little angel back again!” She gave me a big hug.
“Your mom’s right, Jamie, you look super cute in that suit. I know you’ll have fun tomorrow, and I’ll see you afterwards.” Julie quickly kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my hand tight. “Look, here’s Sally and Jillian! I’ve got to run. I’ve got another babysitting job this evening and I’m already late. Bye!”
Come As You Were
And that was how I ended up Saturday morning sitting in the back of the minivan, heading to a big party with all my relatives – a teenager wearing a baby blue sailor suit romper with “plenty of extra room” for my diapers. At least there was a chance that this would be my farewell appearance as “baby.” Mom had talked to Dad, and they both agreed that I could start going back to normal if I behaved myself over the weekend. Although Dad did say I was going to be sleeping in the crib for a while, since they’d actually gotten rid of my old bed. Well, I guess I wouldn’t be inviting Jeff up to my room anytime soon…
Mom and Dad had squeezed themselves into their old clothes, and Jillian and Sally were looking pretty good in pink flower girl dresses – kind of sexy flower girls actually. And then there was me – the baby of the family – all ready to be shown off in my cute little playsuit. My big-footed sister Sally had even given me a pair of her kiddie-style red t-strap sandals - complete with stupid-looking white ankle socks, of course.
We arrived at Lulu and Charlie’s house, and Jillian pretty much dragged me out of the car. I was in no hurry to be seen in my costume. But right at the door we were greeted by Lulu and my ten year old cousin, Josh. Lulu had on her old wedding dress, which looked kind of tight. Josh hadn’t put on anything special at all.
“Will you look at that! You all take the cake!” screamed Lulu, “I can’t believe the whole family…Ohmigod! Alice, you look amazing! Sally, Jillian…how sweet! And what have we here?” She gave me the once over. “Jamie, you win the prize…why, you look just like when you were a toddler! That is the identical outfit you wore to our wedding! I can’t believe it. And look at your darling shoes! You are too much.” She gave me a big squeeze. I felt my face flush.
“Hi, Jamie,” said Josh, with a huge grin on his face.
Then we were surrounded by people – my other cousins, my grandparents, the neighbors – everyone laughing at our outfits. I even started feeling a little less hot and embarrassed as it became clear that everyone thought that my sailor suit was just a cute joke. We all went up on the deck in back of the house, and Charlie and Lulu went through a whole thing about “renewing their vows”. By then it was about noon, and it was getting pretty warm. Everyone kind of scattered around the back yard while we waited for lunch. The grown-ups started having drinks. Sally came round while I was talking to Jason, my fourteen year old cousin, and handed me a sippy cup full of cranberry juice.
“Wow, Jamie, it really is ‘Baby Days’ for you again, isn’t it?” Jason’s eyes went wide. “Dad told me about your crib. And Tim said your sisters took you to Riverside in a stroller.”
“It’s kind of weird, isn’t it? Dad said he thought you might actually be into it.”
“Well...I’m not into this fucking sailor suit…. How come you don’t have to wear a special outfit?”
“Josh and I weren’t even born fifteen years ago. Mom said we should just come butt-naked. Of course, she was joking. But look at Tim. Mom made him wear those shorts, though that’s probably what he would want to wear anyway.”
My cousin Tim had on a pair of khaki shorts and a button-down shirt with a bow-tie. I guess that was what he wore to his parents’ wedding back when he was three, but like my sisters in their frilly dresses, he still didn’t look like a total fool.
Just then Gran came over. “It’s time for the pictures, boys. Come on, Jamie. You’re supposed to sit in my lap. Lulu says she wants to set it up just like the wedding picture was.”
I loved Gran. But I was embarrassed about sitting in her lap. Still, everyone was really funny and cheerful about the whole dumb thing, so after we were all lined up, I eased myself down on her bony old knees. She gave me a big squeeze.
“You certainly are a bit heavier than the last time we did this. But otherwise it’s just the same.” I could feel Gran’s fingers tickling up the leg of my shorts. “And Lulu tells me that they’ve even got you back in diapers? Isn’t that the limit? Well, I guess it runs in the family. I had your uncle Jack in them every night until he was twelve, or maybe thirteen. And Tim…”
Gran leaned over toward Tim, who was standing just in front of us. “Tim, didn’t you stay in diapers an extraordinarily long time? I remember seeing you still in rubber pants when you were almost nine.”
Tim blushed, “Yeah, Gran, but that was just at night, and Jamie’s fifteen. He’s a pretty severe case.”
“Well, you’re all my babies, the whole lot of you. And it’s extra nice to see Jamie back in his sweet little sailor suit again.” They snapped the photo, and Gran gave me a big kiss. I love Gran.
Then it was time for lunch. The other kids were mostly avoiding me, but the grownups kept hovering around, pinching my cheeks or patting my well-padded behind, especially the women. Mom was standing next to me talking to Janet Lawson.
“I think we’ll have to let Jamie off the hook, pretty soon. It’s just so much work having to babysit him constantly…. After Jillian’s schedule at the park changes next week, I won’t have anyone to watch him in the mornings. There is this new girl, Julie, who’s sitting tonight, but I’m sure she’ll want to be paid by the hour…”
“Well, Alice, I already told you what I think you should do. It’s really not all that expensive, and they’re busy and happy all morning and even get lunch. I know Danielle would be open to the idea. She thinks he’s cute.”
“Maybe…I just don’t know how long I can keep it up, no matter how much he deserves it. And of course he has to go back to normal anyway before school starts.”
Jillian came over carrying the Winnie-the-Pooh bag. “Oh, good, “ said Mom, “Could you just help Jamie with his lunch? The little kids are supposed to sit over at the picnic table. Just make sure he doesn’t make a mess of his sailor suit.”
“Alice, that outfit is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” Janet chuckled. “I haven’t got anything half as cute for Brad.” It was true. Brad was dressed in some basic shorts and a shirt. I was the real baby of the party.
Jillian took me by the hand, and got us some plates of Lulu’s fried chicken and cornbread. We sat down at the picnic table where Jason and Josh and some of Jason’s friends from fourth grade were already eating. Two of the boys started snickering and turning red in the face.
Jason said, “Come on guys, don’t make fun of him,” But then Jillian snapped the “Sesame Street” bib around my neck and plunked my Gerber sippy-cup down on the table. All the boys collapsed in giggles.
One boy with a real short crew-cut snorted, “Where’s his high-chair?”
“We left it at home,” Jillian replied matter-of-factly. In fact, this was my first
meal sitting at a regular table in more than a week.
“Jason says they even put you back in diapers.” said the boy.
“You bet we did,” said Jillian, “and we need to keep checking him to see if he’s still dry.” She reached up my shorts to feel my plastic pants. The boys leaned down under the picnic table to watch. They got a pretty good view of the process because the stupid sailor suit was cut so short that my diapers stuck out the legs when I was sitting. Now I was the one turning red.
“Do you mean, he does in his diapers, for real?”
“All the time…wouldn’t you, if you were wearing diapers?”
“Yeah,” the crew-cut boy laughed, “I’d pee in them and poop in them.”
“Well, that’s just what Jamie does, don’t you, Jamie?”
I said nothing, but turned a lovely shade of hot pink.
Josh said, “Mom says I wore pampers until I was six, and Tim was still
wearing them at night in third grade.”
“You’ve got a freaky family,” said the crew-cut kid. “Come on, let’s get some ice cream!”
Uncle Charlie had started scooping out ice cream cones. Jason and Josh and their friends all grabbed some and started playing tag out on the lawn. Jillian and I finished our lunch, and then went for some ice cream too.
Charlie gave us the big hello. “Hey, Jamie, I see you got your bib on – all ready for an ice cream cone.”
“I told him he’d better keep it on. Mom will kill me if he wrecks his sailor suit.”
“We wouldn’t want that to happen. Jamie, you’re the hit of the party. You really deserve some ice cream for wearing that cute suit. Vanilla or chocolate?”
I asked for chocolate and Charlie gave me three big scoops. Just then the crew-cut kid came running up from behind and bumped into me real hard. I fell backward, and the ice cream cone landed in a heap in my lap.
“I saw that,” said Charlie, “that was totally unfair. Jamie was just standing there and you plowed right into him.”
“I’m sorry,” the kid grinned, ”We were playing tag, I didn’t see him.”
“That’s no excuse. Now look what you’ve done. You’ve ruined his nice outfit.”
Then Mom came running over. “Oh Jamie, look at you! You’re a mess! Jillian, do you still have his diaper bag? I think I put an extra shirt in there just in case.” She undid the bib from around my neck. “Not a spot on your bib, of course. You had to drop it all right down your front.”
“Now, Alice, it wasn’t his fault. This young ruffian tackled him from behind.”
Crew-cut boy smiled sheepishly, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Bennett. I should have watched where I was going.”
“Well it’s too late now. We’re just going to have to take this off, “ said Mom.
Before I realized what was happening, Mom had unsnapped the crotch of the romper and pulled it up over my head. And there I was, standing in the middle of the party wearing nothing but those sissy red sandals, puffy plastic pants, and…a very wet diaper.
“Jillian, hand me that shirt from his bag. Look, he’s soaked too. You better go change him.” Mom pulled a very babyish yellow t-shirt down over my head and started fussing with the shoulder snaps.
Jillian said, “But I just checked his pants and he was dry. When did that happen, Jamie?”
“I don’t know,” I almost sobbed. It was true. I’d gotten so used to just letting go whenever, I had stopped noticing.
Crew-cut boy giggled nervously, “When you gotta go, you gotta go…”
Charlie snapped at him, “That’s enough out of you, young man. Look at the trouble you’ve caused already. Now, Alice, I’m sure Jamie could borrow some shorts from Jason or Tim.”
“Why bother? He can just run around like this, now that you’ve taken the formal pictures.”
“Mom!” I wailed.
“You’re the one who thinks it’s fun to wear diapers, remember? And it’s not as if it’s a big secret. Besides it’s a hot day. You’ll be much more comfortable the way you are. Jillian, do you mind?” She handed my sister the Winnie-the-Pooh bag. Hearing my protests, some of the guests on the deck turned to stare at the diapered fifteen year old boy. I could feel my eyes welling up, and I tried hard not to cry. After all I didn’t want everyone to think I was…a baby. But the dam burst. Hot tears started running down my cheeks. Jillian grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the sliding door. I didn’t know if I was more ashamed of having them all see me in diapers or see me in tears. All I knew was that my sobs kept coming while everyone stared at me, being lead away weeping, like the toddler I was dressed as.
Jillian dragged me into Lulu’s guest room, and spread the big changing pad out on the bed. After cleaning the tears off my face with a babywipe, she pulled my plastic pants down to my ankles and unpinned my damp diapers. Very slowly and calmly, she wiped clean my diaper area, and then, using lots of powder, she dusted my crotch, the plastic pants and a fresh, double diaper. Somehow she was very gentle about the whole thing, and I got the urge to suck my thumb again, the way I had with Julie the night before. I remembered that Julie was coming over to stay with me later, and I started feeling a little happier. After Jillian slipped the waterproof pants back up over my clean new diaper, she handed me my sippy-cup of juice. I took my thumb out of my mouth, smiled back and said “Thanks.”
“Now do you want to take a little nap right now or come back outside? I’ll make sure that no one teases you too much.”
I decided I would take some time out, but I wasn’t really tired, just upset and shy. So after about half an hour I ventured back outside. The party was in full swing and everyone had gotten a lot more relaxed. The grownups were all laughing and hollering, and the kids were running around.
“There you are, honey,” Lulu came toward me. “Are you feeling better? You could still borrow some shorts from the boys. It’s no big deal. I’ll straighten things out with your mom.”
“It’s okay, Aunt Lulu, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll be fine. I was just sort of surprised.”
“I don’t blame you, sweetie. Here, let me get you a little more juice.”
I’d forgotten I was still clutching my sippy-cup. She took it over to the bar and filled it up with cranberry juice. She gave it back to me with a hug, and took me by the hand over to the porch swing. “You know, Charlie came down pretty hard on your folks for making a spectacle of you. We just want everyone to have a great time at our party, and no matter what you did, I think they might have gone a little too far. But you know your mom, once she gets an idea in her head. You’re like her yourself, you know.” Aunt Sally smiled at me,” I remember you putting up a real battle about the potty. And then you were constantly snitching Josh’s pampers. You were always fighting to stay in diapers, and now look - you got your way.”
“I just felt embarrassed with all these people…”
“You embarrassed? Look at me shoehorned into this old dress. Why, stark naked you’re still the cutest guy here. You just provided a little extra entertainment. It’s a party, Jamie…anything goes!” Right then Jason came running up with a super-soaker and an evil grin.
Lulu jumped up and yelled, “Don’t you dare! This dress is older than you are.” She pushed me in front of her. “Get him instead of me! He’s probably wet already!”
I raced off to the other side of the yard, and got caught up in a big game of water tag that Jason and Josh were playing. Eventually I got my hands on the super-soaker myself and took some fairly extreme revenge on crew-cut boy. And by that time I wasn’t the only one running around just in my diapers. Mrs. Lawson had stripped Brad down to his plastic pants too, and there was a pair of little toddler girls in Huggies pull-ups who were splashing around in a wading pool. Uncle Charlie made all four of us line up for a photo.
“It’s time to go now, Jamie,” Sally called out.
“Just a minute,” Charlie called back, “I’ve got to get a shot of the baby parade.”
“Where are your sandals, Jamie? Come on, Julie will be there to babysit you at five!”
“You got a babysitter?” Crew-cut laughed at me. I nailed him again with the super-soaker.
“Jealous, aren’t you?”
So I was worn out, but pretty happy after all, when we headed back home. Julie was already there waiting for us. Mom and Dad went upstairs to change, while Sally and Jillian filled Julie in on my evening schedule - “Not too much TV, and he has to be in the playpen to watch”, “in his crib by nine o’clock”, “just one or two bottles of milk, not juice, and you don’t have to warm it.”
Once they had left, Julie and I ordered a pizza. She gave me the money to pay the delivery guy, who pretended that there was nothing odd about seeing a teenager come to the door wearing diapers and plastic pants. Julie let me skip the highchair, and we ate dinner in the den with the TV. She did make me wear a bib and sit in the playpen, but I didn’t mind. We were watching the tube, when Julie’s cell phone rang.
“Hi, Steve….No, I’m babysitting…at the Bennett’s….Yes, he is….No, you can’t come over…No…Absolutely not….I don’t care, he’s a nice boy…a lot nicer than you…Get lost, Steve.” She hung up. “What a jerk.” I kept sucking on my bottle, but I gave her a sympathetic look. She ruffled my hair, “Don’t worry, cutie, who cares about stupid old Steve?”
It was almost nine when Julie announced, “Bath time, big boy!”
It was almost one when Mom and Dad and my sisters finally came home to find Julie reading a magazine in the den and me tucked in my crib with a full bottle, a fresh diaper, and my nice furry rabbit. I could hear them chatting with Julie and going on and on about the fun that they had dancing. But I didn’t care. We’d had our own fun. I might have been sleeping like a baby, but I had just become a man.
The next morning we all got off to a late start, which was fine by me. It was nearly eleven by the time I was in my highchair, tucking into some waffles. Jillian and Sally were both pretty hung over, and neither one of them was too excited at the prospect of changing me out of stinky morning diapers.
“Hey, isn’t this the day that you’re going to go to Jeff’s?”, said Sally.
“Yeah, Dad said he’d drive me over after breakfast.”
“Well then, you can just go upstairs and take care of yourself for once. Throw your diaper in the pail and take a shower. Unless you want your friend to know what a little potty pants you’ve become.”
“I’m going to need some regular underpants. Mom took them all away.”
Jillian said, “She took a ton of your stuff to Goodwill. She probably threw away your old shorts. They were all pretty gross. She said she’d buy you new stuff for school.”
“Wait, I think I saw some undies in the cleaning closet with the rags.” Sally came back with a ratty pair of jockeys and my old pjs as well. “Look, here’s everything you need for your sleepover.”
“Can I have one of my regular shirts back too? and maybe some jeans?”
“I think those are all gone too. But you’ve got plenty of stuff in your closet.”
I had to rummage around to find anything to wear that wasn’t totally infantile. Mom and her seamstress friend Rita had had a field day remodeling my wardrobe. I had at least half a dozen new shortalls and playsuits, and they had stuck Winnie-the-Pooh and Sesame Street patches on all my remaining shorts and t-shirts. I ended up having to settle for a yellow polo shirt with a fairly innocuous Disney applique and a pair of light blue gym shorts. I knew I looked kind of dorky, but I hoped Jeff wouldn’t care.
It felt weird being allowed to dress myself, and it felt really weird to be wearing normal underpants again. It was like having nothing on. I felt light and giddy, and kind of unprotected as I came down the stairs with the breeze blowing up my baggy shorts and through the thin cotton of my fruit-of-the-looms.
“Ready to roll, son?” said Dad, “Ready to play with the big boys?”
On the way over I discovered that Sally had thoughtfully packed my stuffed rabbit and a pacifier in the overnight bag with my pajamas. Fucking sisters…I left the baby items in the back seat when we got to Jeff’s. He was waiting for me outside, kicking around a soccer ball. He gave me a big smile.
“Cute shirt, James, I didn’t know you’d joined the Mickey Mouse Club.”
But it was great seeing Jeff. I borrowed one of his bathing suits, and we hiked down to the lake to go swimming. His mom had made us some sandwiches, so we had a kind of picnic.
While we were walking back from the lake, Jeff asked me, “So what’s this story about your family making you wear baby clothes? Your sisters’ friends Mike and Steve were at the movies last night, and they told me they saw you going around, like, in diapers and stuff.”
I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. So even Jeff knew. Well, why should I be surprised? I had been put on public display dressed as an infant and dragged all over town. Everyone knew. I struggled not to cry.
“I guess it’s no secret. It’s like a consequence thing that Mom and Dad decided to do…”
“Consequence for what?”
So I had to tell him the whole story, about babysitting Brad, and getting caught, and them starting me with the diaper service. But I didn’t tell him about Julie and me getting it off. I didn’t even believe that myself yet.
After he had listened to the whole saga, Jeff said, “Man, that’s pretty harsh. How can you stand it?”
I had to admit that there was a part of me that was into the whole baby trip – what Lulu was talking to me about at the party. I was so ashamed, and I felt the tears starting again.
“Come on, dude, don’t cry…everyone’s different. But you got to stand up for yourself. You can’t just let them treat you like a two year old.”
“They said they might let me start going back to normal next week. And worst case, it’s only until school starts again.”
“Watch out, they’ll figure out a way to keep you down even then. I mean, you got to tell your folks you won’t put up with it anymore, or they’ll just do anything they want with you.”
“I was able get Mom to let me leave the baby crap at home so I could come visit you. It’s a start. And she said she was starting to get sick of all the extra work.”
“Extra work? Like what?”
I told him all about the babysitting and diaper changes, and redecorating my room, and all the new clothes.
“Sounds to me like you’re having a regular vacation. When we punished the kids at camp, we gave them extra chores. And as long as you’re actually into pooping your pants, you haven’t got such a bad deal.” Jeff gave me a pat on the back, and I dried my eyes on my sleeve. I felt incredibly embarrassed telling him all this stuff, but he seemed pretty cool about it.
We got back to Jeff’s house and had milkshakes and watched a movie on TV. After a big supper of chili and corn bread we watched another movie. Around ten o’clock Jeff’s mom came in to tell us to get to bed because Jeff had an early appointment for a physical the next day. I was sprawled next to the sofa, clutching one of the pillows, feeling kind of sleepy and happy. Jeff’s mom gave me a quizzical smile, and I realized that my thumb had made its way into my mouth. At home I always had a pacifier or a bottle when we were watching TV. I guess I had just gotten used to sucking on something.
I found out the next morning that sucking my thumb wasn’t the only babyish thing I had gotten used to lately. When I woke up in Jeff’s spare bed I felt all cold and…wet. I couldn’t believe it. I had peed in the night. I had peed a lot. The mattress and my pajamas were soaked. What was I going to say?
“I had a little accident,” I told Jeff’s mom, “I’m really sorry. I’m afraid I wet your bed.”
“Yeah, Jamie’s been doing some aggressive regressing this summer,” Jeff laughed.
“Apparently so,” said his mom.
She asked me to strip the bed and bring the sheets down to the laundry, but she was really nice about it. Then we had breakfast, and my mom showed up.
“Hi, Alice, stay and have a cup of coffee. I still have a few minutes before I have to take Jeff to the doctor. Can you believe that we’re still dragging these great big young men to the pediatrician?”
“Oh, I can believe it. But, I’m on the run this morning too. I’ve got some new clients who want to go house-hunting. Jamie, I don’t have time to take you home. I’m afraid you’ll just have to tag along.”
As we were walking out the door, Jeff’s mother handed me a plastic bag, “I put your wet pjs in here. I would have run them through the wash, but since you’re in a rush...”
Mom gave me a raised-eyebrow look. Jeff and his mother waved goodbye, and I got into the back of the minivan. I knew the drill from other times I’d had to go on real estate showings with Mom – sit in the very back seat and pretend to be invisible. We didn’t talk much as she whizzed across town to pick up Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz.
I jumped out of the van to open the door for them. Mom introduced me, “This is my son, Jamie. I hope you don’t mind him coming along, but I just picked him up at his friend’s house and there wasn’t time to run him back home.”
“Oh, that’s fine,” Mrs. Schwartz smiled as she got in the middle seat of the van. “And you must have a little one at home too. Whose are these cute things?” She held up my rabbit and the pacifier I had left on the seat when Dad dropped me off at Jeff’s.
“Oh, those are Jamie’s. You can give them to him.”
“Really?” said Mrs. Schwartz, looking at me oddly, as she handed me my stuff.
I just smiled politely and said, “Thanks.”
We drove around and around for about two hours, stopping every now and then for Mom to show the Schwartzes around. We must have seen five or six places, and I was feeling extremely bored. I even started surreptitiously sucking on the pacifier, but only when I was sure the Schwartzes wouldn’t notice. Then, just as the they were all emerging from another house, I felt my stomach cramp up. Lately I’d been having my BMs in the morning right around breakfast time – and right before getting changed out of my double thick nighttime diapers. But I hadn’t thought about going to the toilet before leaving Jeff’s house, since, frankly, I’d gotten so used to just doing it in my diaper.
As Mom got into the car, I whispered to her. “Mom, I’ve really got to go.”
“Well, you’re going to have to wait right now.”
The Schwartzes got back in the car, and Mom turned her attention to them. “I’m sorry about that last house, but I think you’ll really like the place we’re going to see next.” We got on the highway and started driving out into the country.
Mrs. Schwartz turned around to speak to me, “So, Jamie, what have you been up to this summer?”
“Oh, nothing much, staying at home.”
“Jamie’s been spending a lot of time playing with his friend Brad, who lives right next door,” Mom said brightly.”
“Do you mean little Brad Lawson? I know the Lawsons’ from work,” said Mrs. Schwartz, “but isn’t Brad a little young for you? He can’t be four yet, and you must be at least thirteen or fourteen.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised how much the boys have in common,” Mom laughed, “Now, I know that this next listing is outside your price range, but it’s been on the market for a while and I think that a low offer might take it.” We kept speeding down the highway. Exits flashed by. I was feeling really uncomfortable.
“Mom, excuse me…”
“Not now, Honey, it’ll just be a minute. The sellers were experiencing a little problem with their septic, but that is now totally resolved…”
Meanwhile I was experiencing a major problem with my septic. Something about the chili dinner at Jeff’s…I thought maybe if I just let out a little gas…I let go a little, and a small, silent fart slipped out, then another, and then…I couldn’t stop…I was pooping my underpants right there in the back seat of the car! The smell was not good, and Mrs. Schwartz discreetly rolled down her window, all the while chatting with her husband and my mom up in the front. I could feel the familiar sensation of sticky poo spreading across my behind. What was happening to me? After more than a week in diapers, was I actually losing control? I had kind of stopped noticing when I had to pee or poop. In fact I must have been asleep when I wet Jeff’s bed, and now I had this horrible mess in my pants to deal with. Shit.
We finally got off the highway, and after another mile or two we got to the house with the for sale sign out front. As the Schwartzes got out, Mom turned to me and hissed, “I’ll ask if you can use the bathroom here.”
“I don’t actually need to go anymore. I’ll just stay in the car,” I muttered.
“Are you sure? Because I’m not making any more stops.”
I marinated in the backseat for a very uncomfortable half hour. Then we dropped the Schwartzes back at the office, where Mom had to stay and do some paper work. It was nearly one o’clock before we got home and I could finally get out of the car.
I was a total mess. The stinky brown stain had soaked through my gym shorts, and my ass was burning. As I waddled gingerly to the breezeway, Mom realized what had happened.
“UNBELIEVABLE! I stopped and I asked you if you needed to go! Ohmigod! Look at you!”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I started crying, “It was already too late when you asked.”
“Already too late? You mean you couldn’t even hold it in for fifteen minutes! That is ridiculous! I just hope the back seat isn’t totally ruined. And apparently you wet your pajamas at Jeff’s too! All I can say is that you’re sending the message out loud and clear.”
“I’m sorry, Mom, I didn’t mean to …”
“Exactly…You ‘didn’t mean to’. Well, I was thinking about letting you go back to regular underwear after this weekend, but you’ve just shown me that you not only WANT to wear diapers, but that you obviously NEED them as well.”
“But Mom, I told you I had to go!”
“Right, you gave me less than five minutes notice smack in the middle of an important showing! I’m sorry, but even your little friend Brad does better than that. This is the last straw. Get in the house right away and get cleaned up! And stop those pathetic tears…”
I dragged my sorry butt upstairs and took a shower. Then Mom sent Sally up to put me back in diapers for the afternoon. When we came back down, Mom was talking on the phone. As Sally put me in my highchair and snapped on my bib, I heard Mom say, “All right, we’re all set. Thanks for being so accommodating. I’ll have the disposables and a copy of his shots tomorrow. Is there anything else? Oh, of course, a complete change is always be a smart idea. Okay, so Sally will pick them both up at two o’clock. Thank you so much. See you tomorrow!”
Sally put a bowl of toddler alphabet soup down on the tray of my highchair, and fixed herself a tuna sandwich. Mom dialed another number.
“Hi, this is Alice Bennett. Yes, that’s right, Jamie’s mom. You remember I asked Friday about canceling our order? Well, forget about that. And another thing, Pete showed me some of your new disposables. I’d like to order those for Jamie also. Yes, I think it’s 28 or maybe 30. Medium sounds right. Four packages should be enough. Oh, could you? That would be perfect.”
Mom hung up the phone and picked a little at the other half of Sally’s sandwich. She didn’t seem mad any more.
“Sally, I thought you had to go pick up Brad.”
“No, Mom, Julie’s taking care of him today. We’re taking turns. She can babysit the boys Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That way I can start doing the afternoon shift they want at McDonald’s.”
“Well, as long as you can take care of them tomorrow…I’ve got two showings this afternoon, so I’m going to run. Have a nice afternoon.” Mom raced off.
Sally let me watch the cartoon channel instead of taking a proper nap. So there I was comfortably settled in the playpen sucking on a bottle of juice, when she opened the front door for Pete, the guy from Tidee-Didee.
“Hang on, I’ll run upstairs and get his diaper pail. You can put the clean stuff down right here.” Sally disappeared up the stairs.
Pete stood by the stairs for a minute, clutching a bundle of fresh cloth diapers for me, as well as a couple of plastic bags of disposables. He stared at me curled up in the playpen. Then he put down his packages, and walked over.
“Well, Jamie, you’ve got the life, hanging around watching Rugrats all afternoon.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled, keeping the bottle in my mouth. I felt kind of shy about talking to him.
“So your mom ordered you some disposables…going to try out something new. You’ll like them.