The Little Sister
by - Unknown
When I was five years old we lived way out in the country. My sister Kayla was just a baby at thirty-five months old, still doing baby things. I envied her so much I would sneak her bedtime bottle after mom diapered me and tucked me in for the night. I was still wetting the bed at night, so to keep the bed and sheets dry mom diapered me just like Kayla. Kayla and I slept in the same double bed. She slept against the wall so she would not fall out and get hurt. Her bedtime was at 8:00; my bedtime was 9:00 so she was asleep when I came to bed so she never saw mom diaper me. After mom left the room I would take Kayla’s bottle so I could start to suck an almost full bottle. She never drank that much, just about an ounce, and she was asleep.
I would finish the bottle before falling asleep. Once an awhile it would still be in my mouth when I woke up. No one ever caught me sucking her bottle at night or with it still in my mouth in the morning. Kayla likes her pacifier, too. She always had a binkie in her mouth if she was not eating. One night after I finished the bottle I put
her binki against her mouth and she began it suck it even though she was still asleep. I thought it must be good if she does it in her sleep. So I looked on the nightstand for one of her extra binkies. I knew Kayla had a lot of them so it would be easy to find one. I found one in a tray with a string and clip so I clipped it on my pajamas and started to suck on it.
After sucking on the pacifier for just minutes I found out why Kayla likes her binkie so much, it relaxed me so much. I quickly fell asleep. The next morning mom caught me sucking the pacifier clipped to my pajamas with the bottle on my side of the bed. Kayla woke up and saw that I was sucking her binkie she grinned and giggled. I spit it out and tried to explain but mom just ignored it like it was normal for a five-year-old to be sucking a pacifier. Mom checked Kayla’s diaper and said, “You’re dry again; you are getting to be a big girl.”
Without checking, mom said, “Let’s get Haley out of her wet diaper so we can eat breakfast.” Kayla just watched as mom removed a soaked diaper and put a pair of Pull-ups on me for the day as normal.
Mom said, “Only if you wake up dry can you wear regular panties. If you’re wet mom makes you wear Pull-ups.” On the way to eat breakfast Kayla wet her diaper I could see the yellow spreading on the front of it as mom put her in her booster seat and fastened her seat belt but mom did not say a word.
I sat in my booster seat without fastening my belt. I would not fall out. I was a big girl, not a baby like Kayla. Mom put a bib around Kayla’s neck and sat her cereal in front of her. She started to feed herself, making a mess of the table and her bib. I ate my cereal neatly without the mess. Soon after we started to eat I smelled poop. Kayla made a mess in her diaper while we sat at the table. Now mom has two messes caused by Kayla-- one on the table and bib; one in her diaper.
“Kayla is just a baby,” mommy says. “She will learn fast and will be just like you, neat and clean at the table.”
I wish I could do the things Kayla does and not get into trouble. If I made a mess like Kayla I would get spanked and made to stay in my room for an hour. Even it I spilled a crumb of food on the table I would be punished. Kayla has a lot more fun than me. She doesn’t have to pick up her toys or try to stay clean when she plays. She doesn’t have to go to the potty to pee or poop; she just does it when she wants to.
Mom took Kayla for her morning bath. She told me to clean up the mess on the table and get dressed so I can go out side and play. I finished the cleanup, got dressed for play, walked into the bathroom to see a very messy wet diaper on the floor with a lot of used wipes. I told mom I was going out to the barn to play.
I wish I could be like Kayla. She has it so good. Mommy takes care of her all the time, making sure she is happy. Kayla doesn’t have to use the potty or stay clean all the time. She can be messy and not get into trouble. I climbed up into the hayloft where all the baby nursery furniture was stored. Since Kayla is sleeping in a bed with me she doesn’t need a crib, and she is eating in a booster seat, so she doesn’t need a highchair. All the other toddler things are stored up in the old hayloft. I had been setting it all up so I could play baby in my nursery that I made myself. I finished it yesterday. Now I can start playing baby. I had so much fun for the next few hours in the crib, then in the highchair, then the playpen, being careful not to latch the highchair tray or the crib rail. They are too hard to work for me. I was having so much fun. Then mom called me in to eat lunch. I had used the training potty I used when I was a toddler so I would not have to go into the house and stop my baby playtime.
I played in the hayloft every morning for about three weeks with no one finding out my secret. I played with baby toys in the playpen, sucked my binkie all the time just like Kayla played in the crib. It was almost as good as being a real baby but I did not have diapers. I wish I could have diapers just like a real baby.
Then I explored the loft more. I went deeper to where I have never been. I found a box with white cloth things that had Curity printed in blue on them. At the bottom of the box I found an old bag of pampers diapers. I had no idea why my mother wasn’t using them on Kayla but it was a gold mine to me. The box had instructions on the back on how to diaper a baby.
Just as I found my prize mom called me in for lunch. I would have to wait until later to wear them. After lunch mom told me to take a bath and stay with Kayla when she finishes her nap so we can go shopping. I took my bath and put the clothes mom had laid out for me to wear shopping, including my Pull-ups. I played with a few of Kayla’s trucks and cars quietly in the family room.
Mom checked Kayla’s diaper, finding it clean and dry. She removed it and sat her on her new training potty where she promptly peed and a few minutes later I heard her fart. Mom said, “What a big girl we have here!” She told me to look at what Kayla did; she pooped and peed in the potty like a big girl. Mom was so happy she put a pair of my Pull-ups on her, making her so happy, too.
She told Kayla to tell her when she needs to potty and Haley (that’s me) will take her to pee in the potty and be a big girl like Haley. Kayla was so happy to be like me. We were both dressed in tee shirts and Pull-ups. Kayla pointed at my Pull-up then pointed at her Pull-up and grinned and giggled. Mom handed me my summer shorts to hide my Pull-up. She watched Kayla and I pull up our shorts we were now dressed the same we look like twins but I was a few inches taller. I was quite upset I did not want to be dressed like a toddler out in public. I forgot to use the potty before leaving the house to go shopping. Halfway to the store I told mommy I have to pee. Mom said, “big girls know to use the potty before they leave the house,” she told me. She thought that I was a big girl and should have used the potty before we left the house without being reminded. She told me to hold it until we get there. Ten minutes later we were pulling into the parking lot with me wetting my Pull-up. I wet just a little, thinking mom would not find out.
Mom checked Kayla’s Pull-up, saying, “Still dry? What a big girl she is!” Kayla said, “Yes, mommy, me big girl.” Mom put Kayla in the cart seat then picked me up to put me in the cart basket. Mom checked my Pull-up out of habit as she released my seat belt on my booster seat. She felt my Pull-up squish, then did a quick check to see if her
suspicion was right. Sure enough, I had wet my Pull-up. Mom said, “Shame on you, Haley. You peed your pants. We are going to have to get you changed now.” I thought she would just give me another pair of Pull-ups. Mom laid me in the back of our SUV on a changing mat where mom pulled down my pants to my knees and tore my Pull-up off like it was a diaper. I started crying hard so she put a pacifier in my mouth to keep me quiet. I started to suck it without thinking mom had a diaper under me powdering my bottom pulling it up between my legs taping it in place just like a baby. She stood me up,
pulled my wet shorts in place and told Kayla, “this is what happens to babies that wet their pants.”
I asked mom, “What about the big wet spots? Everyone will see me.” Mom said that I should have thought about that before I wet my pants like a baby. We went into the store to buy our food and things. I had to hold the side of the cart like a little girl. Mommy did not trust me yet. When we started to walk down the baby aisle mom looked at the diapers then at me. She asked me if I was going to be a big girl or a
baby. Kayla said she was a big girl not a baby, she don’t need diapers. Mom looked at me I said that I was not a baby. I did not need the diapers. So mom picked up a Jumbo package of Pull-ups and handed them to me to put in the cart. She told me I was wearing the last diaper at our house so I would be wearing these Pull-ups to bed from now on.
I quickly put the package in the cart and we headed to the checkout. Kayla said she needed to potty so mom stopped at the restrooms lifted her out of the cart and told me to take her to the potty. I lead him to a stall she pulled down her pants sat on the potty where she peed and pooped like a big girl should. When we returned to mom she asked me if Kayla was a big girl. Kayla said. Me pee pee and poo-pooed in the
potty. Mom smiled and said, “Looks like we have a real big girl here now!”
My pants still had visible wet spots showing that mom ignored saying now I have two big girls. Then why do I fell like a baby wearing a diaper bulging out under my wet pants. We walked to the car mom put me in Kayla’s car seat saying she did not want me getting the cloth in my booster wet with my wet pants they were not done drying out for some
reason I must have really soaked them. We went to McDonald’s for lunch Kayla sat next to me in a booster seat we ate our Happy Meal.
A friend of mom’s came to our table to talk she looked at me sitting at the table and asked when did Haley go back it diapers. I did not know you could tell I was wearing diapers until then. Mom told her that I had an accident this morning and did not have anything else for me to wear. She said that Kayla looks like the big girl not wearing
diapers. Mom said she has not had and accident in three days. Kayla is going to be wearing regular panties tomorrow.
We finished our lunch and were on our way home I sat in the baby seat thinking what has happened to me today being put back in diapers again. When we got home mom unpacked the groceries while Kayla and I played.
Just before lunch I told mom I need to go potty she told me to go ahead a go I am a big girl and don’t have to tell her every time I need to go. I told her what about my diaper she told me to take it off and throw it away. I had an idea why just throw away a clean dry diaper so I went to play more with Kayla and while playing I soaked the diaper. Wetting my diaper while playing was so much fun and no one knew I was
Mom called us to eat dinner an hour later after I forgot about my wet diaper. Mom sniffed the air and checked Kayla. Finding her dry, she just let it go. I knew she was looking for something so when we finished dinner I ran to the bathroom to remove my wet diaper. I put a Pull-up on because that is the only panties I could find I threw the
wet diaper in the full trash can in the bathroom. Now I could take the full can to our burning barrel when I take the one from the kitchen so no one would find out what I did.
That night mom told me that my bedtime is the same time as Kayla’s until I stopped wetting my bed like a baby. I watched mom dress Kayla in cloth training panties and pajamas then she watched me pull on my Pull-up and pajamas. Kayla giggled saying, “me a big girl” as mom handed him her bedtime bottle. She laid down sucking her bottle as I got in bed, too. Mom tucked us in for the night. Kayla fell asleep quickly so
I was able to take her bottle and satisfy my need for a bottle, too. I fell asleep just as the bottle emptied leaving it still in my mouth when mom came in the room in the morning. She quietly woke Kayla so she could see me too. I woke to Kayla’s giggles.
I watched as mom told Kayla to remove her pajamas and panties and handed her new panties and clothes she dressed herself with very little help from mom. Then mom removed my pajamas and wet Pull-up then started to wipe my bottom with a baby wipe put baby powder on my bottom. She handed me a fresh Pull-up and told me top get dressed and come to eat breakfast. I felt so ashamed that my baby sister is out of Pull-ups and I have to still wear them. After I ate breakfast I decided to go to my nursery in the loft where I was not ashamed to be a baby.
When I climbed the ladder I remembered the diapers I found. I need to see if they fit me if I could figure out how to put them on. I climbed onto the changing table and started to try to put one of the diapers on and just about fell off so I fastened the strap across my chest securing me from falling off. I taped up the diaper and then I unfastened the strap and climbed off the changing table.
I climbed into the playpen and started to play with the baby toys forgetting about being ashamed of mom showing Kayla what a big baby I was. I felt the need to pee so I let it out the diaper quickly soaked up the small amount of pee I needed to let out. I continued to play then mom called me to eat lunch. I jumped out of the playpen removed my wet diaper put it into the diaper pail I found and ran to eat lunch.
I started doing this every morning because after noon I had to play with Kayla for the rest of the day. I found that Kayla only needed to potty two or three times a day while I need to go four or five maybe six times a day and once before bedtime. That must be why she stopped wetting the bed. She can hold more pee longer than me maybe if I could
hold more I would be dry at night, too.
I tried to hold more but ended up wetting my Pull-ups and mom was getting mad telling me I was going to be put back into diapers if it happens once more. So I limited my wetting to the times I was in my nursery. Two weeks of wet diapers in the diaper pail and one that I messed in by accident was filling it up. Mom came to the barn to get something I don’t know what and started looking for where the smell was coming from. She climbed the ladder and found my nursery all set up.
Kayla was napping I was playing in the play yard mom decided she would show me how to be a baby if that is what I wanted. She called grandma to see if she would watch us for the rest of the day. So Kayla and I went to grandma’s for the afternoon we left our house at 2:00 that left mom four hours to do what she had planned.
Mom spent all afternoon bringing my nursery all down from the loft where she set the crib and changing table in our bedroom replaced the double bed with a toddler bed for Kayla. The playpen she set in the family room the highchair in the kitchen. While she was sitting up the nursery she took out what was left of the pampers and she stacked them under the changing table. She put all my new toddler style clothes in a nursery
painted dresser she was now ready for her new baby girl.
When Kayla and I got home I asked if I could play outside for a while I did not want to go in the house now. Mom told me okay but to stay in the play yard and not to leave it. I was a good girl and never disobeyed my mom I played with the toys just like I was a three-year-old not a five-year-old I was having so much fun sliding, swinging and
playing in the sand. It was summertime there was NO SCHOOL at 7:00PM it was still quite hot outside all the clothes I was wearing were my Pull-ups. Living way out in the country has its advantage no one would see me wearing baby clothes I did not care it was better than getting all hot and sweaty. Mom called me in to eat dinner so I got up from the sand and ran to eat dinner. I also need to poop and pee I have been holding it back while I played I was having so much fun playing to go use the potty. While I was playing mom had plenty of time to tell Kayla what was going to happen to me so she would not be scared when it did.
I walked into the kitchen I saw the highchair from my nursery then my heart sank I knew mom must have found my nursery. Mom came to the kitchen told me to get in the highchair NOW since that is where I must want to be. She said she saw my nursery and how I have been using all the baby things. I started to cry and plead my case to mom. I said.
Mommy I am sorry I would not do it any more I am sorry as I climbed in the seat I said I don’t want to be a baby I was just playing. Mom fastened the seat belt from behind out of my reach followed by the tray.
Mom and Kayla left the room leaving me sitting in the chair after about fifteen minutes I tried to get out of the chair but the tray was somehow lock in place and the seat belt was out of my reach. I started to kicked and screamed like a two year old I thought I could kick the chair apart. I needed to pee real badly now so I started to yell and scream I need to go potty but no one came. I was mad so I decided to show her I was telling the truth about me needing the potty I wanted to mess just a little just enough that mom would know I meant what I said.
But just a small amount of poop went into my Pull-up a small amount of pee started out the all the sudden I lost all control of myself big time. All the poop and pee I was holding came out losing control wetting and messing at the same time.
I quieted down after my deed was done sitting in my highchair in my wet and messy Pull-up. It did feel sort of good every time I moved the poop squished around. Fifteen minutes after I messed myself Kayla came in the room and yelled to mommy baby has poopy she stinks, too. I lost it my baby sister just called me the baby and started to cry real hard as mom came in running to the room. Mom said. Mommy will make it all better. Mom said. But first we need to eat our dinner. Mom put a bib around my neck and started to feed me baby food after three jars of food and one jar of baby food peaches. I looked like a baby as I had a messy face and bib because all the squirming I was doing to get away.
When mom finished my dinner I was a real mess all over food on my face and poop on my bottom mom carried me to a warm bath to get me all cleaned up. Before getting in the tub mom cleaned most of the food from my face with a washcloth before she cleaned the poop off my butt. I was given a warm bath by mom with Kayla helping until she thought I was nice and clean. I was left to play in the tub while mom with Kayla helping got my night diaper ready for me. I played trying to forget that I had messed my pants like a toddler in front of my little sister.
Mom dried me off and carried to the changing table where she put a diaper on me. I told mom I did not want to wear diapers any more. After being diapered she dressed me in a thin-footed sleeper that zipped up the back it was my old strawberry shortcake sleepers that were to big for me two years ago. After I was dress for bed she put me in the crib and put a bottle to my lips. I realized she brought everything down from my nursery I started to suck as she held not letting me hold it just before it was empty I fell asleep. Mom replaced the bottle with a pacifier relaxing me even more. She told Kayla her bedtime is now 8:30 she is a big girl and can sleep in the soft big girl bed with out a baby plastic sheet that we use for baby bedwetters. Her new big girl bed was a had a twin size mattress in it and Dora sheet set. It was soft and warm so comfy.
The next morning Kayla climbed out of her Dora bed went to the potty after she woke up getting more praise from mommy. Mom started to change my soaked diaper through my sleeper snap crotch. She dressed me in another Diaper. She left the room, leaving me in the crib so I started to get out like I did in the loft but the sleeper would not let me straighten my legs and stand up or climb so I had to wait on someone to get me out I was helpless. I started to cry let me out mom came in handed me a bottle and told me breakfast was not ready yet she would let me out when it is. I started to suck the bottle mom left me alone I tried to remove the nipple from the bottle but could no so because I was so hungry I started to drink my bottle like a toddler should. Ten minutes later mom came in the room put me on the floor she told me she was not going to carry me around all the time. She told me told me to crawl to the kitchen.
I had to crawl like a baby to the kitchen. I was now feeling the need to poop as mom put me in the highchair. I told mom I need to poop. She just ignored me, putting the tray in place getting me ready for breakfast. She put cut-up pancakes on the tray without a plate or anything to eat with. She told me to eat up baby Haley or I would not get out of the chair. I started to pick up the pancakes with my fingers getting my hands and face all messy. I was just about done when I could not hold my poop longer. I thought I could poop just a little and stop not making more of a mess. I started etting out a small amount of soft poop then I lost all control again just like last night I loaded my diaper with a full load of soft poop followed by pee it happened so fast I was shocked how fast it was over.
Kayla said, “She smells poopy!” Mommy said, “Yes, babies poop when they eat. So when we finish breakfast we need to change the baby.” Kayla asked if she could help. Mom said, “Okay, I can show you how to change a diaper.” She handed me a bottle and told me to finish it before I get my diaper changed. Kayla watched me finish my bottle.
Mom carried me to the changing table and strapped me down as I started to kick and cry. “I don’t want to be a baby. I am a big girl.” I told mom she made me do it because she would not let me out of the highchair to go potty, so it was her fault, not mine.” I told mom I was a big girl and did not need diapers I told her I could prove it. too.
After she cleaned me up I started to kick her every time she brought the diaper near me. She finally gave in saying she will test me but if I have just one daytime accident I will go back to full-time diapers and wear them every where we go, I agreed.
Mom handed me take another bottle while she got me dressed in big girl clothes. I sucked the bottle because it was so relaxing while she cleaned my mess up. Mom put baby powder and baby smelling cream all over me she dressed me in the same color and style of clothes as Kayla we looked like twins but I was three inches taller. The Pull-up caused a slight bulge around my pants that Kayla’s pants did not have. Mom told me we were going to go to the zoo today. I love to go to the zoo. It was so much fun to me all the things to see and food to eat. The zoo was an hour away about, the max for me to hold pee.
I was in so much pain when we got to the zoo. I was in need to pee so much but I made it just like a big girl should. The whole day was fun for both Kayla and me. We had eaten and drank so much junk food we were tired when we got back to the car. Halfway home I told mom I need the potty we were on the freeway with no exit near. Mom told me I had to hold it to stay a big girl but the more I tried to hold it the wetter I became. I knew I was in trouble now as I was as soaked as any un-potty trained toddler could be. Kayla said. Mommy Haley has wet her pants I can see her. Mom asked me, Haley did you just go in your pants you know if you did your back in diapers. I started to cry and scream so loudly mom handed Kayla a pacifier that she put in my mouth. I refuse
the binki at first then after a few more tries Kayla had it in my mouth I started to suck it. The pacifier was so relaxing within ten minutes I was asleep.
I was always a very sound sleeper and so just carried me into the house where she removed my wet clothes changed my diaper then put me in my crib. It was only 3:30. After my nap I woke up at 5:00 in my crib with a wet diaper crying for mom to let me out. Kayla and mom came in the bedroom to see what was the matter I told mom it was her fault she did not stop and let me pee in the potty. Mom said. Kayla had no problem staying dry so why didn’t you stay dry like her. I just whimpered as she changed my soaked diaper mom told me she will potty train me when she thinks I am ready for the potty but right now you are just a diaper baby. I cried as mom changed my diaper making it very hard for me to walk without falling down.
Mom let me out of my crib and told me to go play with Kayla. All I was wearing was a diaper. I had to crawl to the playroom where Kayla was playing with her dolls. Kayla did not giggle when she saw me because I was just a real baby now not her big sister. I crawled over to where she was playing to help her build doll house but she started to cry stop, stop. Mom picked me up and put ME in the playpen saying babies play here not with the big girls. I cried to mom but I am the big girl I am not a baby Kayla should
play in here. Mom told me to stand up and get out then if I was so big.
I stood up and tried to climb out of the playpen as soon as I had my leg in the air to swing it over the rail I fell down on my diapered butt. My diapers were so thick I could not get over the rail I had to stay in the playpen now until mom lifted me out. Kayla could play with all my toys without me stopping her. I could play with her old toys without Kayla interfering. But all her toys were for toddlers like ABC blocks Play-School baby toys and toddler toys they were not fun at first but the more I played with them the more fun I had. Soon I forgot where I was and started giggle like a real toddler.
Mom picked me up to check my diaper at 7:00 I had wet a little but I was not that wet. I asked mom where she was taking me. Mom said. It was time for me to take a bath and wash my diapered butt. I said mom this is not fair Kayla goes before me. Mom said diaper girls are first no how but they are and you are the only diaper girl. I said. Mommy you made me wet my diaper I could not get out of the playpen and go potty.
Mom asked. Did Kayla use the potty? Kayla stays dry for more than two hours. Can you stay dry that long? I started to cry mom was ready with a pacifier in my mouth it went.
I knew I was in trouble I need to pee all the time what am I going to do now. Sucking on my pacifier mom removed my wet diaper and put me in the warm water. Mom started to bathe me just like she did Kayla when we took our baths together. I asked mom. Why don’t Kayla need a bath too? She told me little girls that don’t wet themselves only need a bath every two days not every day. The bath was nice and warm as mom washed me all over for the first time in years I tried to help but she was in control after mom washed my hair she told me to play in the tub until she gets me out.
I played with the bath toys that ringed the tub forgetting it was bedtime for me. Mom walked in the bathroom lifted me out of the tub drying me off in a big fluffy warm towel. Then mom carried me to my bedroom to put me on my changing table to tape a waiting bedtime diaper on me followed by a new sleeper that zipped up the back but was bigger than my old one. It was nursery print baby girl looking like it belonged on a baby not a five-year-old.
I found myself in the crib and again could not raise my legs over the rail of the crib side and the rail was now at my chin. I was standing holding the side looking out like I was two years old whimpering with a pacifier in my mouth. Mom left the room with me standing waiting on her to return. Ten minutes later mom came in holding my bedtime bottle for some reason I was suddenly overjoyed and started to bounce up and down. Mom told me lay down. I let my pacifier drop out of my mouth it fell to the end of its string. I laid down and mom put my bottle in my mouth I started to suck it and hold it in place. Just before I emptied it I was asleep so my removed my bottle and put my pacifier to my lips and I started to suck it just like I did to Kayla last month.
Kayla came to bed later while I was asleep not waking me sleeping in her nice soft comfy Dora no plastic crinkle just soft warm cloth. The next morning Kayla woke went to the potty just like a big girl. She returned to our room removed her pajamas to dress herself in her play clothes that mom had set out for her. She was all dressed by the time mom came to wake us up. She was so proud of her she told her to let me sleep while they ate breakfast.
Twenty minutes I woke with a need to poop very badly I started to stand up but as I moved poop started its way into my diaper. I stated to cry very loudly mom came in to see what happened Kayla was right behind her. Mom picked me up and hugged me as I quieted. Mom carried me to the kitchen put me in my highchair. Still whimpering I was placed in my highchair where mom let Kayla feed me my oatmeal.
After my breakfast mom told Kayla baby Haley needs another bath she pooped her diaper last night and look how messy her face is. I tried to tell mom it was her fault but she had my pacifier in my mouth too quickly. Mom carried me to the bathroom started to get the water ready for me. While the water was running mom removed my sleeper leaving me in just a stinky wet diaper. My diaper was untapped and it fell to the floor. Kayla said. Only real babies poop in their diaper right mommy. Mom said. Yes only real babies poop in their diapers.
Mom cleaned up my messy butt with a washcloth out of the sink then lifted me in the tub to she washed me off just like last night I was not allowed to help no matter how much I tried. I was told to play while she got my play clothes ready. I thought at first she was going to give me back my big girl status. Until she came in dried my off in a warm fluffy towel wrapping me in it when she finished. Mom walked me to my bedroom where she put me on my changing table and quickly diapered me. I tried to talk with my pacifier in my mouth but mom shushed me. Mom dressed me in some funny looking clothes until they were on I did not realize they were just like a baby romper with BIG BIRD on the
I look in the mirror when she finished I looked like one of the kids at daycare in the baby class. I knew that because I was one of the only older kids that was allowed to help the teachers out. I started to remove my clothes but mom had my hand leading me to the car. I realized I was going to daycare with Kayla. Mom grabbed a large bag that had
DIAPERS printed on it I knew what it was for. I whimpered just a little sucking my pacifier hard to keep from crying like a baby. I was on my way to daycare dressed like a baby hoping I would not have to go to my old class. I was so scared I wet my diaper without knowing.
At daycare mom led me to the baby class where I was so happy that the other kids would not see me in diapers. I started to play forgetting where I was until lunchtime. Before we eat lunch each kid’s diaper has to be checked to see if she is dry. If the kid is dry she sits on the potty for five minutes. If the kid is wet or messy they change his diaper. When everyone is done with diaper, potty time one by one each kid is sat in a highchair.
They let me feed myself MORE BABY FOOD I am so tired of baby food but I was hungry so I ate it dropping just a little on my bib and tray. They told me to do better next time and I get to sit at the little table that Billy was sitting at eating big girl food. They said after a week with no spots on my bib or tray I graduate to big girl eater. They handed me a bottle I was thirsty so I started to suck as I sucked the need to poop came hard and fast so I let it out with out thinking. My diaper was wet and messy just like most of the other kids sitting in their highchairs.
I was just like a toddler in less the two days I lost all my big girl status no big girl clothes no big girl toys no big girl freedom. I was just like the baby I was trying to become in the loft. What will happen when school starts in two months? How can I get potty trained? If I can’t hold pee for more than an hour. How can I get a big girl bed like Kayla’s if I still wet the bed. How can I get out of my highchair if I
keep spilling food on my bib. I want my big girl status back but it is so hard to remember to hold my pee and poop not spill food and not pee when I sleep.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
It has been three months since mom found out I was playing baby in the old hayloft using the old diapers I found. I had my own private real nursery with the crib, highchair, playpen, and many other baby things mom had stored up there since no one needed them, not even Kayla, my three-year-old sister. Mom decided that if I want to play baby use diapers like a baby she would treat me like a baby. I was still wetting my bed like a little toddler every single night. I was quite small for my age it would be easy for her keep me dressed like a toddler. Kayla was getting upset about my night diapers crinkling at every move waking her up. The crinkle of the plastic sheet that was on our bed was horrible for her, too. She wanted a bed like Hannah Watson, hers friend in town. It was a Dora big girl bed with a twin size mattress.
Mom turned me into a toddler baby just like Kayla before she stopped using diapers and baby things two months ago. Kayla said she wanted to be a big girl NOT a baby like Haley. she had been sleeping with me in a double bed, not wetting the bed in over a year and a half. I was the only bed wetter. I wore big girl Goodnites size small or big girl Pull-ups, not baby diapers. That is until three months ago I wore big girl panties. Now mom has me wearing diapers. Mom would not listen to me. I kept telling her I wanted to be a big girl, not a baby. Mom told me that I needed to learn to stay dry for two hours during the day before I would be ready to potty train ike Kayla. She said I needed to be dry that way for three days then I could start wearing Pull-ups. Then she would consider me a big girl toddler.
No matter how hard I tried my diaper is always getting wet sometimes I could make it one hour but most of the times I can’t hold it 30 minutes without wetting my diaper like a little toddler.
Mom took me to the doctor for tests I spent a day and night in the hospital. Since I was still using diapers like a toddler small for my age I had to stay in the toddler room with five other girls. Two of the girls were potty-trained they were three-year-olds like my sister. The other three girls were two and a half-year-old’s still in diapers. My bed was between the potty-trained girls I had to endure five diaper changes while the big girls where using the potty in room. The hospital had rules about diapers beds and potties. If you use diapers or you are less than 5’ tall your bed is a CRIB with very tall sides. If you are over three or use the potty you have a regular bed even if you are less than 4’ tall. I used more diapers than the others needing six daytime changes between my tests. One I messed and wet in after I ate lunch just before my naptime.
I did not know I was one of two that still took a nap bottle. Only Emma that just turned two still used a pacifier and bottle like me. The other girls did not tease me or anything. I was just another baby like them; they accepted all the infantile things I did. During my tests the doctors found that I had a very small bladder due to the fact my bladder did not stretch like it should. They told mom maybe practice holding my pee more would make it stretchy but it may never stretch. That explained why I need the potty all the time in Pre-K. I was going to the potty three times as much as anyone else and the other kids called me, “potty girl.”
When I got home from the hospital mom took away my diapers and gave me my panties back. I was so happy but mom still diapered me at night. Two days after my hospital stay mom took my sister and me to the park in town. I met some girls from school and started to play with them but after just fifteen minutes of play I need to pee but I did not know where the potty was. I ran to mom to tell her I need the potty she pointed to the white building across the field and told me that was the potty. It was 100 yards away. I started to run but pee started to come out wetting my pants by the time I was about 50 yards away I stopped I was finished flooding my pants.
When I walked back to mom the girls I was playing with saw I had wet my pants and started to call me names and say things like, “little baby needs her mommy to put her in diapers”, “tell the baby’s mommy she needs diapers”, and “she is just a pee baby not a big girl.” Mom consoled me saying to try harder next time. I was crying so hard and could not stop. Mom put my pacifier in my mouth then took me to the women’s restroom to change my wet panties for thick cloth training pants, no plastic pants. Then she helped me put on dry summer shorts. I looked almost normal except a slight bulge where my training pants were. I tried to play with the five-year-old girls but they teased me about wetting my pants too much. I whimpered and cried, walking away to play with the little girls my sister’s age. The little girls did not tease me for wearing training pants, even when I wet them again an hour later. I could not hold my pee no matter what I did if I did not constantly think to hold my pee my pants got wet. When I played
I would get so into playing I forgot to hold my pee and soak my pants.
I kept wetting my pants more than going to the potty. Mom was getting so tired of doing my laundry caused by my accidents. I was wetting four or five training pants a day and every night I wet my diaper. All the little girls that my sister and I played with were so used to me having wet pants they would pay no attention to me wearing wet pants. By the middle of summer mom told me I was going to go back to diapers if I don’t stop wetting my pants. I did not care now because potty training me to hold my pee was too hard. Diapers would be easier for me. I told mom I did not care as I wet my pants in front of her. Looking her in her eyes, I was daring her to follow through with her threat. Mom got really mad, lead me to my room, stripped me of my clothes and spanked me hard for five minutes. I thought I was going to die. It hurt so bad! Then mom put me on the changing table, smoothing baby powder on me. It felt so good. I just about fell asleep as she diapered me making me look and feel just like a toddler. I did not care. Besides, these diapers felt so good but I had to waddle when I walked out to play.
Mom told me it was hot outside and toddlers don’t need any other clothes to mess up. Since I was just a toddler these diapers are all I needed. I asked mom, “What about my sister? she is a toddler, isn’t he?” Mom told me, “If you are out of diapers, you are a big girl, not a toddler.” Until I start using the potty like a big girl I will be
treated like a toddler should be.
I waddled out of the house wearing nothing but diapers. My sister and I were playing in our yard alone. She did not care I was diapered like a baby, she was not. She likes to show off that she was a big girl wearing big girl clothes and did not want baby diapers. She would always say “potty” time when she went to the potty. she only went to the potty two or three times a day. She only used the potty once after breakfast, once before lunch and once before bedtime, and maybe one other time during the day. she had her Fourth birthday last month and mom gave her a bye-bye to her baby things party the day before her birthday, she was so happy. she gave me all of her pacifiers, bottles, bibs, tee shirts and her leftover Huggies. she did not need or want them; she was a BIG girl. I WAS THE BABY NOW! That did not bother me, even though I was five-years-old. All I wanted to do is have fun playing with toys; even baby toys would satisfy me.
I asked mom, “Just because I wear diapers don’t make me a baby, does it?” Mom said, “No, but you still sleep in a crib because you keep falling out of your wet bed. You eat in a highchair because you keep spilling food all over the table. You wear a bib because of you’re a messy eater. You don’t share toys well so you play in a playpen alone at daycare, and you are all the time crying so you need to keep a pacifier in your mouth to keep you quiet.”
School was going to start in three weeks and my potty training has stopped. Mom got a doctor’s explanation of my problem and took it to school. That way I was allowed to wear diapers to school. I only pooped in my diaper after my breakfast or in my crib. I would poop in the potty if mom would get me to the potty in time after I ate breakfast. Sometimes I pooped after I woke up in my crib. I could not hold it until mom could get me out of my crib in time. Mom never changed my diaper until after I ate breakfast. I would have to sit in my highchair in my dirty diaper while I ate my breakfast. I ate in a messy diaper about 95% of the time. I just could not stop poop very well. I only pooped in the morning, sometimes at night before going to bed, so messy diapers at school never happened.
I was smart and small for a five-year-old. I was about the size of a preschool kid but good at fighting and could back down most five-year-old kids. The first day back at school when an six-year-old started pushing me around I bloodied her nose and blacked her eye. Mom had to come to school and sign me back in to school the next day. I could have worn just diapers to school from then on with no problems but I kept my diapers covered up. The other kids respected me even though I need diapers. Kindergarten was easy for me since I learned to read when I was four years old. My sister is starting to learn to read, too; she is only four. Mommy was so good at teaching us school
I was content to play with baby and toddler things with my sister. She was as big as me and she liked older kid toys. I liked my rocking horse, dolls and cars, and my tricycle. My sister was learning to ride a two-wheeler with training wheels, something I was afraid of. I fell off every time I tried to do it so the last time I fell and hurt my arm really bad I stopped trying to ride it. I was just like most two-year-olds, not like a five-year-old. I guess that is why I liked to play baby in the loft. I did not have to try to be a big girl; it was too hard to do. I was not afraid to fight or climb like most strong-willed toddlers, but most every other thing big girls did was too hard for me so I did not even try to do them. My sister would try everything until she succeeded not me if it looked too hard I would not try.