The yellow flames licked the dark sky as an acridity diesel smell invaded Rebecca’s nose, “No, not this dream again!” She wanted to scream but she had no mouth, she wanted to run but her legs would not move. That was when the praying started.
“Blessed Father and creator of all. Cleanse my daughter of her impure urges with your holy light!”
“With your holy flame she shall be purified.”
“With your holy flame her articles of lust shall be destroyed.”
Rebecca saw a shadowy figure pick up a flaming hunk of wood and bring it towards her, “Lord, let these flames impart your holy wisdom into this lost soul.” Rebecca felt the flaming timber brush against her thigh and crotch. She felt her body scream out in pain as the flames licked her skin, yet she had no mouth.
Rebecca awoke in a cold sweat. Her alarm clock blaring only for her to hit the snooze button. The clock read 6:30 AM, “Why is it always that dream.” She muttered as she swung her legs out from under the covers and stood up. Her lily white nightgown was damp with sweat.
“Rebecca, are you up?” A woman’s voice asked as the door opened revealing her mother in her typical outfit, a floor length skirt and a blouse, “Breakfast will be ready in fifteen minutes. Shower up and get dressed.”
“Yes mother.” She sighed as she opened up her wardrobe and removed a white blouse and ankle length skirt similar to her mother’s. Rebecca set the clothes on her bed before walking out of her room and rounding the corner and opening the bathroom door.
Rebecca shut the door behind her and locked it. The girl exhaled deeply and removed her nightgown. She always hated this part because she had to look at what she had become. A scarred shell of her former self. She looked at herself in the mirror with disgust. Burn scars like blades of grass flowed around her inner thighs and crotch, constant reminders of her discovering her true self two years ago.
Rebecca was doing researching for a school paper when she stumbled across a banner ad for The Bureau. She was curious and soon her research veered off from the American Revolution to The Bureau and the world of AB/DLs. She was fascinated by this world and felt some strange connection to it, that was when she made the choice to buy diapers. She had saved up some money from babysitting to purchase a small package of bed wetting diapers. She had hidden them in her wardrobe, she thought she had covered her tracks, she thought wrong. One week after she had bought the diapers she was pulled out of English class and brought to the Principal’s office where her father who was the town’s priest, the guidance counselor, and the principal were waiting for her. They interrogated her about the websites about the diapers, about… things and feelings that she never understood, wearing the diapers felt good to her and when she said that, things got worse than she ever could have imagined. That night she was led to an empty field and the diapers were burned in front of her. Her own father burned her with the flaming timber in the name of God.
Rebecca fought back tears as she remembered the events of two years ago. She was eighteen now, an adult, yet she knew that her parents did not trust her with a phone or even to go out of the house without one of them with her. Rebecca had been a virtual prisoner of her parents for the past two years, her only respite was school. At school Rebecca had some friends and she could read in the library during her breaks. Her father had gone to great lengths to conceal what he had done to Rebecca, mainly to maintain his reputation and to keep his church’s congregation from leaving him. Some priests called their congregation their flock, he called his, his herd.
Rebecca sighed and turned the shower on, letting the water heat up for a few before stepping into the stream of water. She shut her eyes and stood there for a few minutes as the water washed away the sweat from her sleep. After washing her head and body she turned off the shower and stepped out before wrapping her body in a towel and making sure that she wouldn’t drip any water onto the hardwood floor. Her long brown hair wrapped up was wrapped up in a second towel. Rebecca made the short walk back to her room and stared at the outfit she had laid out. This was what her father had told her to wear today, everyday he dictated her outfit for the next day. Rebecca ruffled her hair with the towel to help dry it out before getting a pair of panties and bra from her underwear drawer. Wearing them felt wrong to her ever since she discovered the joy of diapers, but unfortunately she knew this would be her life until she died. She quickly got dressed and made her way downstairs where her parents were waiting for her, a grey suitcase was sitting by the door.
“Good morning Rebecca.” Her father looked up from the paper. He was already dressed in his black pants and shirt with clerical collar. He took a sip of coffee, “Excited for the trip to Jackson?”
“Yes sir.” She nodded meekly as she sat down across from him. Her mother set a plate of scrambled eggs and biscuits in front of her, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, eat up. Father will be driving you to school today.” She said as she refilled Father’s coffee cup.
“Thank you sir.” Rebecca nodded to her father as she muttered a quick prayer, “Thank you lord for this food, amen.”
“Short, but I’ll allow it.” Father nodded as he went back to reading the paper.
“Thank you sir.” She said as she began to eat.
It took about fifteen minutes for Rebecca to finish her breakfast, “All done sir.” She looked at her father as she set her fork down.
“Good, go brush your teeth and get your shoes on. I packed your spare toothbrush and toothpaste in your bag. I want to be out of the door in five.”
“Yes sir, thank you sir. May I be excused?”
“Thank you.” Rebecca said before walking back upstairs to the bathroom where her pink toothbrush waited her, the bristles were starting to become frayed but for now the brush still worked. Rebecca brushed for two minutes exactly, before spitting and rinsing. She set the toothbrush aside and went to her room to retrieve her shoes, a pair of black flats. She grabbed her wallet from her dresser and stuck it in one of her skirts interior pockets. She then slipped her shoes on before walking back downstairs, her father was waiting for her.
“Ready?” Father looked at her as he grabbed the car keys.
“Yes sir.” She nodded as she grabbed the suitcase and followed her father out the door.
“Have fun.” Rebecca’s mother smiled as she started to clean the dishes.
The drive to Rebecca’s high school was a short one. She only lived about a mile from the school. Rebecca could see a charter bus waiting in the school parking lot, a group of seniors and their parents were milling about. This was the start of the annual senior trip for the seniors of Corinth High. The trip was simple, a one week excursion to the state capital of Jackson. The trip to Jackson would take about seven hours by bus and when they arrived they would go straight to Millsaps college to attend a play, and then they would retire to their hotel. That was all Rebecca remembered.
“Here we are.” Her father said as he parked the church van that he used as his personal vehicle. Rebecca saw the principal walk towards the van.
“Father Charles, how are you doing this morning?” The Principal smiled as he wiped some sweat from his bald head with a handkerchief, the hot Mississippi sun was in full force, signaling the start of summer.
“Principal Skipper, I’m doing quite fine today. How are you?” Father smiled as Rebecca got her suitcase out of the van.
“Sweating like a sinner in church, father.” He smiled.
“We are all sinners Principal Skipper.” He looked over at Rebecca, “I trust you will be keeping a close eye on her?”
“Yes father, of course.” He looked over at the girl, “Come along Rebecca, the bus is just about ready to leave.” He motioned for the girl to follow him as he started to walk towards the bus, “Have a good week father.”
“You too Principal.”
“Goodbye father, thank you for allowing me to go on this trip.” Rebecca smiled a bit and hugged her father.
“You are welcome, now go get on the bus.” Father smiled back.
“Yes sir.” Rebecca nodded as she followed the principal over to the bus where he loaded her suitcase into the luggage compartment of the bus. Rebecca saw one her friends, Casey, the daughter of the town’s sheriff.
“Hey Casey!” Rebecca smiled a bit.
“Hey Becca.” She smiled back, “You excited for the trip?”
“Yeah.” She nodded a bit, “I’ve never been to Jackson.”
“It’s nice.” Casey smiled, “Lots of places to hang out.”
“Alright students!” The principal raised his voice, “Board the bus so we can arrive in Jackson on schedule please!”
“Come on Becca, you can sit next to me.” Casey smiled as she entered the bus with Rebecca behind her.
“Thank you.” Rebecca smiled and took a seat next to Casey as her classmates filed in.
“Anytime, this is going to be a long bus ride.” Casey smiled as she put her ear buds in.
Rebecca awoke to Casey poking her side, “Becca, wake up, we are at Millsaps.”
“Wha?” Rebecca yawned and stretched as the bus came to a stop.
“Did you seriously sleep the whole time?” Casey smiled as she saw large groups of students with picket signs walking down the sidewalk, “What’s going on?”
“Looks like a protest.” A guy sitting behind them said, “Hey Brendon, can you see what those signs say?”
“Yeah, I think they say: Wolowitz has got to go. Who the hell is Wolowitz?” Brendon said.
“Millsaps’ current president, “No idea why they are protesting him, guess he must have pissed off some snowflakes.”
“Fuck off Casey.” A voice from the back of the bus yelled, “Wolowitz covered up a massive hazing culture at Millsaps.”
“Enough!” The Principal Skipper yelled, “We will still be seeing our play. Now, everyone off the bus. We will be walking to the theater.” he sighed as the bus doors opened and he stepped out.
“Come on Becca, lets try and get good seats.” Casey smiled as she followed Rebecca out of the bus. Principal Skipper led the group of fifty seniors down a sidewalk, however, the group soon found themselves in a quad where two opposing groups were getting ready to square off. On one side were the Pro-Wolowitz protesters while the anti-Wolowitz protesters were on the other side. Campus police were trying to keep the two sides separate.
“Excuse me.” A student said as he accidentally bumped into Rebecca, “My bad.”
“Its okay.” Rebecca smiled as the student walked off.
Unfortunately for everyone in that quad all it took were two bottles, one from each side to turn the quad into a madhouse. College police quickly lost control of the situation as the two sides surged towards the other with Rebecca’s group and some extremely unfortunate college students caught in the middle of the melee. Campus police tried to regain order, but in the end they were forced to pullback with several injured officers.
Rebecca was terrified, in the melee she had gotten separated from her classmates and was struggling to find somewhere safe. Pepper Spray was starting to be used and it hung around in the air, many were starting to cover their eyes, Rebecca was unlucky enough to catch a spray right in the face. She went down screaming in pain as her eyes began to burn. She felt herself being picked up and carried through the crowd. She could hear police sirens getting closer and closer, “It burns!” She screamed as she kept her eyes tightly shut to try and alleviate the pain.
“I know, I know.” A masculine voice close to her head told her, “We are almost to the paramedics, they will help you.” It must’ve belonged to the person carrying her.
“T-thank you.” Rebecca managed to choke out.
“Not a problem.” The voice said, “HEY! I NEED SOME HELP HERE!” The voice yelled as Rebecca felt herself being laid on some grass.
“What happened?” A second voice asked?
“Pepper spray. Some fuckers were ready for a fight.”
“Someone always is in these types of situations. Lucy, go get me my thermos.”
“Why do you need your thermos?”
“It has milk in it. That should help flush her eyes and since capsaicin is fat soluble it will help with the pain.” The paramedic said, “Alright young lady, I know it hurts but I need you to open your eyes.”
“O-okay.” Rebecca cried as she started to open her eyes. Suddenly her vision went white as the paramedic poured milk over her eyes, instantly she felt better, her eyes still burned a bit but it was nowhere near as bad as it was.
“There we go. Feel better?” The paramedic smiled.
“Yeah, thanks.” She turned to try and find her rescuer, but he had disappeared, “Where did he go?”
“The guy that brought you? He went back into the fight for more people.” The paramedic shrugged, “Now, I need you to blink your eyes rapidly. Tears should help flush the last of the pepper spray. I’d recommend staying here. If you need any help just holler.” The paramedic said before going to work on another patient.
Rebecca kept blinking her eyes for a few minutes as the melee raged on. Rebecca looked around a bit and a poster grabbed her attention the moment she saw it. The poster read, “Tired of your life? Is the stress too much for you? Do you want to be pampered for the rest of your life? Come to The Bureau recruitment depot! Only one block this way!” The poster featured an arrow pointing down the street. Rebecca’s heart was beating out of her chest. She looked around and couldn’t see any members of her class. Rebecca stumbled to her feet and did what her heart told her to. Rebecca ran as fast as her feet could carry her.
Rebecca’s heartbeat faster and faster as she ran down the street. As she ran she saw more signs pointing her towards the recruitment depot. Soon she saw it, a large building whose sign said: Bureau Recruitment Depot. Rebecca’s hands were shaking as she opened the glass doors to the building’s lobby. A secretary was tapping away at her computer as she looked up at Rebecca, “Welcome to The Bureau recruitment depot. How can I help you baby?” Rebecca walked over to the desk, her entire body was shaking now. She wanted to talk but her mouth refused to open as fresh tears started to form in her eyes.
“Baby, are you okay?” The secretary stood up and walked over to Rebecca, “Do you need help?”
Rebecca nodded a bit.
“Okay, did someone hurt you?”
Rebecca nodded again.
“Do you need me to call the police?”
Rebecca shook her head before her mouth started to work again, “I-I want to leave here.”
The receptionist nodded and smiled as she realized what Rebecca wanted, “Do you want to go to Amazonia and get a new life?”
“Yes please.” Rebecca inhaled and started to cry.
“Its okay suger.” The receptionist hugged her, “I’ll get one of our recruiters to come down and help you. Don’t worry, you are safe. They can’t hurt you anymore.” The receptionist rubbed Rebecca’s back before hitting a button on her desk
“T-thank you.” Rebecca cried.
“You are welcome.” She smiled
“You got one for me Grace?” A new voice called out as a man in a suit entered the lobby from a set of double doors.
“Volunteer.” The receptionist smiled at Rebecca, “Now dear, John here will help you fill out paperwork okay?” She said and grabbed a box of tissues for the girl
Rebecca nodded and broke off the hug before grabbing some tissues, “Thank you.”
“All part of my job sweetie. Good luck.” Grace smiled before taking her seat.
“Now then Ms….” John looked at Rebecca.
“Rebecca.” She said before wiping her face with the tissues.
“Ms.Rebecca, I understand you wish to enter the care the Amazons?”
She nodded, “Yes please.” She said as she blew her nose.
“Excellent, please come this way.” John smiled and led Rebecca through the pair of double doors into a normal looking corridor before stopping in front of an open door and stepping in, “here is my office. We just have a bit of paperwork to do before we can proceed. Please take a seat.” John shut the door behind Rebecca and gestured to a chair in front of the desk, “Now then.” John said as he sat down behind his desk and got some papers and a pen out, “What is your full name?”
“Rebecca Mary Matthews.”
“Okay, date of birth?”
“March tenth, 2018.”
“Okay, and do you know your SSID?”
“I see. Do you have any identification on you?”
“Yes, I have my ID.” Rebecca shakily took out her wallet and fumbled for a few seconds to get her ID out but she did and gave it to John.
“Thank you.” He said as he scribbled some information down on the paperwork, “Now then, some of these next questions may be a bit hard to answer, however, please answer them truthfully as these will help us determine what Amazon you will be placed with.”
“Yes sir..” Rebecca nodded as she put her ID back into her wallet.
“Have you ever been abused either mentally, emotionally, or physically.”
Rebecca swallowed hard and inhaled deeply, “Emotionally and physically.”
“I’m sorry.” John sighed, “How long was the last incident of abuse?”
“Last month, Father called me a useless harlet.” She teared up.
John slid a box of tissues towards Rebecca, “Take as many as you need. Has your abuse left any scars? I don’t need to see them. I just need to know about any scars.”
Rebecca nodded, “Burns on my thighs and crotch.” She started to cry again.
John sighed loudly. He hated doing this, making people like Rebecca recall details about their abuse. But, if he wanted to get them into the right Amazon’s household, he needed all the information he could get, “Would you consider yourself an AB/DL?”
“Was your abuse tied to the fact that you identify as an AB/DL?”
John nodded and started to write on a new form before sliding it to Rebecca, “Just sign on the dotted line at the bottom and your new life will begin.
“J-just sign?” Rebecca cried.
“Correct.” John couldn’t help but tear up a bit.
Rebecca’s hands shook as she took a pen and started to sign her name. This was it, her new life, her escape, her path to living how she wanted to live!
John smiled and took the form after she signed it. He placed the forms in a clipboard and stood up before walking over to Rebecca, “Do you need a moment?”
Rebecca shook her head as she blew her nose again, “I’m ready.”
“Alright, follow me.” John said as he opened the door and left the office. John led Rebecca back down the corridor through another pair of double doors into a warehouse like place. Rebecca saw silver and green pods that were closed with lights blinking on them and clipboards in holders on the sides, she saw many more like that but they were open, “These are the stasis pods. You enter one of these and you have the best sleep of your life. When you wake up you will be in Amazonia.”
“Just like that?” Rebecca looked at John.
“Just like that. Of course our physicians will give you a full check up before you are given to your Amazon.” John said as he guided Rebecca to an open pod. He placed the clipboard in the pod’s holder, “All you have to do is step into it.”
“John… Thank you.” Rebecca smiled at him as she stepped into the pod and laid down on the cream colored upholstery.
“You are welcome.” John smiled as he pressed a button on the side of the pod. The lid of the pod started to descend until it fully closed. Within ten seconds Rebecca was sleeping. John smiled as he moved the stasis pod into the OUT zone with the other occupied pods. John exhaled deeply and walked back to the lobby to talk with Grace a bit, however, when he got to the lobby he saw Grace arguing with a portly bald man in a suit.
“Sir, I will once again tell you, no girl like that has come through our doors!” Grace said clearly getting angry.
“Woah, woah. What’s going on here?” John asked as he walked over to the desk.
“I’m looking for a girl. Long brown hair, ankle length skirt, and a white blouse. I know she came here!” The man yelled.
“Sir!” John raised his voice, “If Grace said that someone fitting that description did not come through those doors than that means they didn’t! Now either leave on your own, or I will have security escort you out!”
The man was clearly angry but left anyway, “This isn’t that last that you have heard of me!” He yelled as he left the building.
“Good job Grace.” John smiled.
“Thanks. She all ready?”
“Yep, she is in her pod waiting for the truck.”
“Good.” Grace smiled and raised a closed fist towards John.
“We make a good team.” John smiled as he fist bumped Grace.
Rebecca couldn’t remember a time she had slept better than she had just slept. She dreamed that she was sunbathing on a cloud while being fed grapes by angels. However, eventually the dream started to fade away and she found herself laying somewhere she didn’t recognize. Her head was resting on a fluffy white pillow while her body was covered with a thick pink blanket. She sat up and looked around, she was sleeping on a massive couch, she felt tiny as she saw how big everything truly was. Rebecca noticed an easel set up with its back facing her, was someone painting her? Rebecca soon noticed her outfit, she was in a white onesie, a onesie, just like the ones she had seen online! She turned her head and didn’t feel her hair brushing against her arms, she felt her head and discovered a pair of pigtails on either side of her head. Rebecca then tried to stand up, but that was when she felt it, her diaper.
“M-my diaper.” Rebecca started to tear up as she placed a tentative hand on the bulge around her waist and crotch, “My diaper.” Rebecca smiled.
“Lindsay, listen!” A woman’s voice echoed through the room, “I’m still going to be able to make it to the gallery in Libertality opening in a few weeks. I’ll just bring her with me…. No, I’m not leaving her at a daycare while I go to the gallery! The first month with a newly adopted little is some of the most important bonding time! Trust me, when you see her you will fall in love with her! Poor dear was abused by her parents for wanting to wear diapers. I know! Littles belong in diapers! You don’t punish them for wanting to be in them!”
Rebecca’s ears perked up upon hearing the woman’s voice. This was her new family, this was her…mommy, “M-MOMMY!?” Rebecca called out.
“I’ll call you back Lindsay, she just woke up and is calling for me. She is already calling me Mommy! Talk to you later.” The woman’s voice was getting closer to Rebecca. This was the start of her new life, this was the first time in years that she truly felt happy.