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Breaking the Girl: A Novel

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    #61
    Chapter Thirty-Two

    "And this one is Buttercup Jolly Hooves," Jess explained, holding up a plush unicorn with a rainbow mane.

    "Hello Buttercup," I greeted the stuffie.

    "Nooooo," Jess whined. "Dani, her name is Buttercup Jolly Hooves. You can't just call her Buttercup."

    "Oh, sorry," I chuckled, reaching into the pile of stuffed animals and pulling out... "A chipmunk!" I squeed. Chipmunks were almost as good as squirrels, they were tiny and cute and scurried around. I hugged the chipmunk to my chest, swinging my body back and forth a bit and I enjoyed the very simple act... but part of my mind was reeling.

    I was sitting on the floor of an oversized nursery, in a diaper and a princess dress, hugging a stuffed chipmunk and listening to another girl in a diaper talk about her stuffed unicorn named Buttercup Jolly Hooves.

    My life had gone from very normal just a few weeks ago to downright bizarre.

    I had peed myself while I knelt on a bed just a few nights ago.

    What the fuck is happening to my life?

    But I couldn't deny that I was enjoying it. It was like Vanessa had reached into my brain and flicked on a light switch to some dark corner that had remained dormant and untouched for most of my life. I was wearing a diaper and I liked it. That was perhaps the weirdest part of all. I liked it. I liked the crinkle, I liked the feeling, I liked how soft it was, how inescapable it felt. The 'kinkiest' thing I had ever done prior to this was some fuzzy handcuffs with Elaine, but she had hated it so we never tried again.

    Vanessa had turned my world inside out and upside down in just a few weeks.

    There was just something about her - the fire in her eyes, her confidence, the way it felt like she knew my darkest secrets - things I didn't even admit to myself. It was like she had known me my whole life, like she was introducing me to me. Like she was reading some secret diary that I didn't even know I kept.

    I had wanted to wet myself. Part of me had been excited by the plastic sheet on the bed and I felt like an idiot for mentioning it, for her removing it.

    It had been a fantasy of mine for a long time, one that I had forgotten about. The helplessness of it, the feeling of hot urine pouring down my leg, soaking my clothes, knowing that I would be in trouble, that I would be chastised for it. There was a faint memory of that very thing happening in my childhood... and some part of me enjoyed that for some reason. And now I couldn't stop thinking about it.

    I was ashamed at how alluring it was.

    But not Vanessa. Vanessa wanted it. Wanted me to want it. In just a few short weeks she had gone from a cute girl that bought me a drink at a bar to the very center of my world, the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep. Vanessa was gorgeous, ridiculously intelligent, sweet, kind, and she was guiding me through the most intense exploration of myself that I had ever done. She was helping me become a better person.

    She cared about what I wanted.

    I looked over to Jess' crib and wondered what it felt like to surrender to that degree. There were restraints on her high chair. I'd seen them. Seth could buckle her hands to the arms of the chair, underneath the tray and she would be completely helpless, unable to feed herself, unable to escape. And I didn't understand the pleasurable twitches I got in my diaper from that thought. If anyone had told me even a week ago that I would enjoy wearing a diaper, that I would be wondering what it felt like to lay in a crib as the bars on the side were raised, trapping me inside... I would have laughed in their face.

    But here I was, thinking about that very thing.

    And I noticed the pressure building on my bladder. I tried to let go, to just wet the diaper... but I couldn't, my body wouldn't respond. The same thing had happened to me the night on the bed. It had taken time, relaxing, imagining I was sitting on a toilet... I had barely done it when Vanessa had walked back in.

    A small stuffed bear colliding with my head snapped me back to the present.

    "Earth to Dani," Jess said, irritated.

    "Sorry," I blushed. "I was just... thinking."

    "Whatcha thinkin' about?" she asked, her irritation gone. She crawled closer, her diaper crinkling loudly as she did.

    "Peeing," I looked down, ashamed.

    "Do you hafta go? Just go, a wet diaper feels even better than a dry one," she laughed and laid down on the floor, poking a finger at the padding between her legs.

    "Are you wet now?" I asked, surprised.

    "Oh, I wet during dinner," she said as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

    "What's it like eating in a high chair?" I asked suddenly.

    "Do you wanna try it? We have some ice cream, I bet Nessa would like to feed you."

    "No... " I felt a little lightheaded from blushing constantly. "I couldn't... "

    "Why not?" she asked, this was all normal for her, she lived this way. Diapers and cribs, high chairs and stuffed animals. None of this was weird to her, and that was weird to me.

    "Because I'm embarrassed," I squirmed a little, the diaper crinkling between my legs.

    What am I doing?

    "Oh, then you just ask Nessa to make you, then you can pretend you don't like it and that makes it okay," she laughed. "That's the best part."

    "What, being forced to do something?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.

    "Yeah!" she grinned, sitting up and nodding vigorously. "I get in trouble all the time so Daddy will punish me. Oh, but Nessa doesn't like that so much so maybe it's a bad idea."

    "What does she like?" I asked, wondering if Jess could give me any insight into Vanessa. She was so open, but it always felt like there was a hidden depth to her that I just couldn't reach, something lurking there beyond the surface.

    "Nessa is Nessa," she shrugged. "She likes you, whatever you've been doing, that's the right thing to do. I've never seen her this happy."

    "How do you pee? In a diaper?" I asked - if anyone would know, Jess would.

    "Um," she looked confused, "you just... pee."

    "I can't, I tried - it's not happening," I felt like a complete idiot asking this silly blonde for advice on how to pee my pants.

    What am I doing?

    I couldn't seem to stop myself, to stop this ridiculous spiral that I was on. Part of me was screaming inside, telling me I was an idiot for enjoying this, that it was filthy and wrong and awful and...

    The thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

    None of the other kids would like me if I did that.

    I felt tears spring to my eyes as the core of the whole thing slammed into me. It felt like my heart was tearing in two and I didn't understand it.

    "Dani?" Jess asked, laying a hand on my shoulder.

    "The other kids won't like me if I pee my pants," I said, the pain just spilling from my mouth. "My dad said so."

    "Oh Dani," Jess' voice was full of pity, of sadness. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and held me. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm the other kids now, and I've got a secret... " she paused and I sniffled, wiping a tear from my eye. "I just peed my pants, just now."

    "What?" I laughed, shocked out of my big feelings.

    "I just did," she laughed in return. "Here, you can feel, it's still warm." Before I could react, Jess reached over and grabbed my wrist, pressing my hand to her diapered crotch. It was warm... and it got warmer as she held my hand there.

    "Are you peeing right now?" I was shocked.

    "Yep," she grinned mischeviously. "Now you do it."

    "I can't. I tried!"

    "Oh, I remember! When you are first starting out, it's hard. Your body keeps saying it's not okay to go now. Just... get up on your knees and close your eyes." I followed her instructions, listening. "Now, just imagine that you're sitting down on a toilet and it's totally fine to just... go."

    I knelt there for a long moment, trying to convince myself, simultaneously feeling stupid and feeling clever because I had the same idea on my own... and after a while, I felt the floodgates open. Jess' hand went to my crotch and I blushed again as she squeezed the diaper between my legs. I felt the hot wetness pour out of me again, just like that night on the bed, but rather than running down my leg, it spread all around my crotch, absorbed by the thirsty padding which swelled around me, trapping the warmth in and growing squishy. It felt amazing.

    You just peed in a diaper!

    But that part of my brain wouldn't shut up, and it wasn't pleased.

    "You did it!" she grinned a wide, guileless grin, genuinely pleased for me. "Congratulations!"

    "Congratulations? For peeing on myself?"

    "For letting go - for not listening to your dad's voice in your head, for doing what you wanted to do even though your adult training is telling you that it's wrong." She sat back, crawling away a bit. "It's the adult training that's wrong. They make you give up everything that brings you joy, they make you throw away your toys. Well fuck that."

    I burst out laughing at her profanity, and decided to dive headlong into this silly Little game.

    "Ohhhhhhh," I breathed low and long, drawing out the tone. "You said a bad word! I'm telling your Daddy!"

    "Don't!" her eyes went wide. "Don't tell Daddy, I'll get in trouble!"

    "You should get in trouble!" I laughed, "You said a bad word!"

    "Yeah well... STUFFIE FIGHT!"

    She lobbed a soft bear at my head, which hit me smack in the nose because I didn't expect it. I ducked the yellow duckling that flew at my head next and grabbed some stuffies, throwing a pink pony back at her. Before long, there were stuffies all over the room and we were both laughing like loons, when Seth and Vanessa appeared at the doorway.

    "What's going on in here?" Seth asked, sounding every bit like a Daddy. Looking up at him towering over everything from my position on the floor, in a wet diaper, was strange. I felt very... Little. He was an authority figure, and I had just thrown toys everywhere. I had just peed myself. Part of me cowered before him, part of me thought this whole thing was stupid.

    I pushed that part away, reveling in the squirmy feelings I got from his serious posture.

    "Dani needs a treat!" Jess announced, but before I could shush her, she plowed forward. "She needs ice cream and wants to try out the high chair cuffs! She needs a treat because she wet her diaper!"

    Vanessa was bending over me in an instant, her hands at my crotch, causing my cheeks to burn anew.

    "Oh sweetie," her smile was as big as the world. "The aliens on your diaper disappeared. Do you have something you want to tell me?"

    "I had an accident," I heard those words tumble from my lips again, the same words I had said to her before. "Are you mad?"

    "I'll never be mad at an accident," she said softly, taking me by the hands. "You're such a good girl for telling me the truth. Let's go get that ice cream."

    My cheeks burned anew - I was well aware of what was coming next. For some reason, being restrained by Vanessa felt like the safest thing in the world and even though the butterflies in my stomach were having some kind of parade, I couldn't stop grinning.

    She led me to the kitchen and sat me down in the high chair, the padding of the diaper squishing wonderfully underneath me against the hard wood as she took me by the wrist and buckled the cuff around it. The other one followed shortly.

    "Seth," she called as she snapped the tray of the highchair into place, "do you still have that pacifier that I ordered? The one you're holding for me?"

    "I do," he nodded. "One sec."

    My heart was racing and my brain wasn't working perfectly as I realized the situation I was in. I tugged at the bonds of the highchair and twisted in the seat, but I was stuck. I wasn't going anywhere until Vanessa released me. But I wasn't threatened by that, I was thrilled by it.

    Just as I was thrilled when she pressed the nipple of an adult-sized pacifier to my lips. I opened up and accepted the teat, the bulb of it filling my mouth, the shield covering my lips.

    "Oh. My. God," Jess crowed, staring at me from the living room. "She's so cute!"

    "Here's your paci, Cupcake," Seth chuckled as he stuffed a similarly large pink pacifier into Jess' mouth. "Shh."

    I sucked on the pacifier, feeling it bob in and out of my mouth for a minute or two, but before I knew it, the bulb was being removed and Vanessa was holding a spoon of ice cream to my lips.

    "Open wide, princess," she smiled. She did look happy. She looked very, very happy.

    And seeing her happy made me happy. The nickname made me happy. The high chair made me happy. The helplessness and surrender of it all made me happy.

    I had no idea what I was doing or why I was going down this bizarre spiral so quickly but...

    It felt amazing.
    Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

    Here's a list of my other stories!

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      #62
      Chapter Thirty-Three

      It was strange to be back in normal underwear under my normal clothes. It was strange to feel like an adult again, even though I had been an adult... well, my entire adult life. Being Little had been so freeing. I understood why Jess enjoyed it so much, but even then I didn't think I could live that way all time time. I didn't think I could give up my job, my career, to live the life of a toddler the way she did. But she was happy, and I enjoyed sharing that Little mindset with her for the evening.

      I was deeply glad I had worked up the courage to ask to borrow an outfit.

      I was pondering on how I missed the comforting bulk of the diaper when I felt my phone vibrate in my purse.

      JULIAN: Hey babe, I haven't heard from you in a while. Sorry work sucks, let's go to that Italian place you like so much on Friday.

      I groaned inwardly, I had been putting off dumping him for so long. It was wrong to do it over text, but it seemed just as wrong to go on a date with him and do it after. But if I said I wanted to talk somewhere else instead of the date, he would basically know what was up anyway.

      I was bad at breaking up with people. Of all the relationships in my recent history, I had been the dump-ee, not the dump-er. This was the first time I'd had to dump someone in a long time.

      But I needed to. I owed it to him. It wasn't his fault that suddenly I needed something different. He was a great guy, smart, kind, generous... but I felt the need to explore this thing with Vanessa much more than I needed to continue the song and dance with him.

      Sounds good. I'll see you Friday.

      I'd let him down gently. I'd tell him that I just needed some space, everything would work out. He was a reasonable sort.

      "So," Vanessa asked as we drove home, her voice that sultry-sweet that she seemed to always have with zero effort, "what was the best part of the evening?"

      I blushed and looked away, all of those Little feelings rushing back at me in a flood. The high chair, the stuffie fight, the feeling of Seth towering over me, the restraints, the diaper, the cute princess dress. The memory of childhood trauma. The evening had been a whirlwind, most of it positive, but it was a lot of feelings.

      "I didn't understand Jess before tonight," I admitted, speaking slowly to gather my thoughts. "Not really. The sex games with you were fun, the cuddling was amazing, but when you... " I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I remembered Vanessa squeezing the crotch of my freshly wet diaper, "When you and Seth came in after Jess and I had thrown toys everywhere, I got this thrill... this Oh No I'm in Trouble, feeling... and suddenly Jess made sense to me. It's stupid, but I don't think I've ever felt as loved as when you just... checked the diaper. You were so gentle and I was so fragile, and I felt so incredibly small. And safe. Because I knew that you wouldn't be mad, you wanted me to do that, to... wet myself."

      "So your favorite part was the rush of feelings you got?" she asked. It was so weird to have a partner that genuinely cared about the intricacies of my feelings. Julian just wanted to know if I was happy or not, Elaine had just wanted me for my body, Josh before that had only liked me because I played games. Vanessa seemed to really care about who I was, she seemed to have this depth to her that just felt so rare. She asked me hard questions that made me think about myself. She wasn't content to have a shallow, surface relationship. She had persisted after I had thrown her aside for the safer bet.

      "I love you," I blurted out, saying the words for the first time as I realized how true they were. I immediately felt like an idiot - saying that for the first time was a big moment, and I didn't want it to be in the car on the highway, I had wasted it. I was so dumb.

      "I love you, too," she said without any hesitation. It was just as shocking - Elaine had just stared at me when I told her the first time and we had been dating for a month. I fell in love too fast, Jenni always said so... I just couldn't help it. That was one reason I had pushed Vanessa away in the first place. Going with a boy just made life easier, the world was suited to hetero people, so appearing hetero just made things simple. I blinked back tears at Vanessa's reciprocation - it wasn't effortless, it wasn't flippant. She sounded sincere. She was so open and honest, she always said what she felt. It was refreshingly different.

      "What was your favorite part of the evening?" I asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

      "I deeply enjoyed feeding you in the high chair, how you were completely dependent upon me and how you enjoyed it." I couldn't stop blushing, so many deeply embarrassing things had happened that evening but none of it fazed Vanessa in the least. This was her jam after all, just like it seemed to be Seth's and Jess'... and with that realization, I felt like the odd one out.

      "Too bad you don't have one," I teased.

      "Actually... "

      My head whipped around, my mind spinning. Vanessa was looking a little embarrassed. I felt my mouth drop open.

      "You have a high chair in the apartment? How did I not notice!?" I gasped.

      "It's broken down, it's under my bed at the moment. I didn't figure you'd understand if you came to my apartment the first time and saw that... so I hid it," she shrugged. I felt a little bad for making her uncomfortable.

      "Next you're going to tell me you have a crib stashed somewhere too," I joked. She shifted a little - Vanessa's embarrassment was very hard to read, she was a professional, her job involved hiding her emotions and maintaining a professional calm while people flailed around her, but I was getting good at reading her. Her eyes narrowed just a bit, her hips shifted ever so slightly, and her left hand twitched on the steering wheel, her fingers clenching and unclenching subtly. "You have a crib in the apartment, don't you."

      "The guest bed is a crib," she said, my eyes felt like they might fall out of my head with the surprise. It suddenly made sense, why the back of the daybed wasn't swooping swirls in wrought iron like most daybeds. "I have one side removed and the head and foot boards lowered... again, I didn't want to spook you. You don't have to sleep there if you don't want to, you can take my bed and I'll sleep on it, or the couch."

      "Wow," I breathed, reaching into my purse and gripping the pacifier that I had taken from Seth's. "Do you want someone to give up everything the way Jess did? She doesn't even have a job, right? She hinted at that."

      "No," Vanessa said quickly. "Absolutely not. I don't want someone who is so deep into play that they lose themselves. I worry about Jess, I worry that she's doing herself a disservice by diving so deeply. She doesn't have many friends any more, she rarely leaves the apartment unless she's with Seth. It's not healthy."

      "Oh," I said lamely. "That's sad... do you think she'd go if I invited her out?"

      "I hope so," Vanessa smiled, her hand drifting from the steering wheel to grasp mine. "It would be very sweet of you. What would you like to do for the remainder of the evening?"

      "I wonder," I mused, unable to hide my grin, "what it would be like to play our video game from a high chair?"

      That got her attention.

      * * *

      It felt good to box up the last of Kailee's diaper crap. I was glad she had ignored me and not bought another case of the stupid things. I was glad that we could put all of this behind us. She said she never wanted to see another diaper again, and frankly, neither did I. Her pacifiers, bottles, bibs, and onesies were all in the box that we carried together to the dumpster.

      "You don't want this," I reminded her. She was looking sad as we prepared to throw it in. "Think of all the pain it's brought to your life? Just... be normal. Or hell, be kinky but not this stuff any more, Kailee. Vanessa is a bad person, I wish you had never gotten involved with her. Everything she touches turns to ash."

      "You're right," she said sullenly. "It's just... I spent a lot on all of that stuff and it's hard to just... chuck it."

      "You don't need it. Let's go out dancing tonight, we'll get you laid. This was a wakeup call for me too, I have to break it off with Benny. He's married and I'm being stupid. Come on."

      Together we hoisted the box up, tossing it in the dumpster and closing the lid.

      It felt good to know that crap wasn't in our apartment any more, that Kailee could just be normal.

      "Where do you want to go?" Kailee asked, squaring her shoulders as we walked inside.

      "Let's go downtown and pick up boys, it'll be great - like old times."

      "Yeah," Kailee nodded. "Want to get dinner first?"

      "My favorite taco truck is downtown tonight, I saw the update on their Twitter feed - it's perfect. Let's get tacos from the truck and then go dancing. I'll be your wing-lady, the goal is to find you a boy tonight, someone to help you take your mind of Vanessa once and for all. It's her fault all of this happened. It's her fault that we went down this awful path."

      "You're right," she agreed. "It was all stupid, and I took it way too far."

      "Me too," I admitted, feeling guilty. "Let's just... put it behind us and move on, okay? Best friends?" I held out my pinky in that age-old gesture of friendship.

      "Best friends," she agreed, looping her finger around mine. We walked back to the apartment to get ready for a night out. I never wanted to think about any of this ever again.

      * * *

      I felt heartbroken as I closed the door. I had just tossed my entire collection, my whole stash. Aubrey had helped me go through my room to make sure I got it all. I couldn't blame her, this whole thing had to be incredibly bad for her too. We had cried so long that night on the floor, sobbing and telling each other we were sorry. My bruises were faded but still there, and I still flinched when I heard her coming toward my room... but we were best friends, we'd work it out.

      With a sigh, I opened my closet and selected a black clubbing dress, low cut - it would show off a lot of cleavage. I got ready, trying to push away the thoughts that a regular boy would never be enough again. Vanessa had unlocked something in me, but Aubrey had helped me realize it was poison. I hated myself for pulling us down that awful path. I had apologized so many times while we cried, I had realized that it was all my fault, that Aubrey had been trying to help, that she had been giving me what I wanted.

      And I couldn't deny that. I had asked to be forced, and she had forced me. I had asked for no choice, and she had taken it. I had asked to be beaten and she beat me. She was right - I really had no room to complain.

      I just had to figure out how to get over this part of me that hated myself now. Aubrey was right - I shouldn't want to see another diaper for as long as I lived.

      I had to find someone to help me be normal.
      Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

      Here's a list of my other stories!

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        #63
        I like this story a lot. There are some elements that are pretty fantastical, but also a whole lot that's very real. I love all the different types of relationships that are shown, that all have nuance. There was a moment earlier where Dani rejected something and I thought, "That sounds like someone who does want the thing, but doesn't know why and thinks it's weird and is therefore scared of it, so they say no" and I feel like chapter 32 proved me right. You also have Vanessa explaining what she wants in terms of feelings that a kink relationship can bring, where Dani as a newbie is expecting just a list of specific acts because that's a more superficial understanding. It's really fun to see her come along and learn how to engage.

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          #64
          I've enjoyed reading this story a lot, so much I can relate to being new to all this and each of the character's plots were well planned out and interesting. I like how you captured so many different types of scenarios within an ABDL dynamic in this story. Very well done, looking forward reading to more

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            #65
            Originally posted by Taki View Post
            I like this story a lot. There are some elements that are pretty fantastical, but also a whole lot that's very real. I love all the different types of relationships that are shown, that all have nuance. There was a moment earlier where Dani rejected something and I thought, "That sounds like someone who does want the thing, but doesn't know why and thinks it's weird and is therefore scared of it, so they say no" and I feel like chapter 32 proved me right. You also have Vanessa explaining what she wants in terms of feelings that a kink relationship can bring, where Dani as a newbie is expecting just a list of specific acts because that's a more superficial understanding. It's really fun to see her come along and learn how to engage.
            I'm curious what you consider to be the fantastical elements? There are a few liberties I've taken, but I'm curious as to what you mean.

            I'm glad that you're enjoying the story, and I'm VERY glad you appreciate the nuance. This story is kind of my love letter to power exchange relationships and I'm glad you're enjoying the journey with me.


            Originally posted by LilBecca View Post
            I've enjoyed reading this story a lot, so much I can relate to being new to all this and each of the character's plots were well planned out and interesting. I like how you captured so many different types of scenarios within an ABDL dynamic in this story. Very well done, looking forward reading to more
            Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it and I'm glad that you took a moment to share that with me - feedback is really important to me, knowing that people are enjoying the story is really important to me.

            As for more... there will be more every day starting tomorrow Come back and see me <3
            Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

            Here's a list of my other stories!

            Comment


              #66
              Chapter Thirty-Four

              Play with Dani had taken on a magical hybrid feeling - we still played our video games, she was still my healer, but she played from the high chair. She wore a diaper around the apartment - she wasn't wetting them, but that wasn't crucial to my enjoyment. She was vulnerable and free and that's what I wanted. I had slowly been bringing stuffed animals from Seth's place during the day while she was working, but the biggest shock to me was that she had put the crib back together herself one night, and had asked me to tuck her in.

              Dani, my girlfriend, my princess, was sleeping in a crib in my apartment and wearing diapers and eating in a high chair... but at the same time she was still Dani, my friend who played games with me and had intellectually stimulating conversations with me, who shared herself with me. She was my friend and my Little, she was my girlfriend and my close friend. She was so much more than I had ever dreamed of.

              But it was Friday night and she had gone out with Julian, and I was alone. I brought up her location on my phone - she had gone with him to that stupid Italian restaurant she didn't even like that much. I took a deep, calming breath, reminding myself that she was there to break up with him tonight. That she was mine, she had told me that she loved me. That everything was good.

              The cynical part of me was wondering how it would go wrong.

              Would he propose to her tonight? Something grand and dramatic, and he'd steal her away from me at the last moment?

              I could tell I was brooding, so I texted Seth and asked if I could come by and get the rest of my nursery, the clothes and diapers, the toys and bottles. Dani was in or she wasn't. She was either coming home to me tonight, or she wasn't. And if she was, I wanted the nursery to be in its full splendor.

              I needed something to keep my mind off of things.

              Seth was happy to see me that night, but Jess seemed even happier.

              "How's Dani?" she practically tackled me as I entered the apartment.

              "She's good," I smiled, gently pushing the silly Little back into Seth's arms. "She's out tonight, so I thought I'd get the rest of the nursery stuff."

              "Oh, so it's going well then?" Jess grinned, wrapping herself around Seth.

              "How are you, Seth?" I turned to him as I walked further into the apartment, giving him room to close the door.

              "It's good," he smiled. "Cupcake is glad to see you partially because her punishment is on hold while you're here."

              Normally, a person would feel uncomfortable in this situation, that they were imposing on a friend, impeding their Friday night amorous plans. But I knew Seth, and he was giving me an invitation to pick on Jess.

              "Oh really?" I asked, looking back to Jess, who was suddenly clamming up. She was wearing her favorite pink shortalls, which meant they were locked on her. "And what has your bratty, rotten Little gotten into this time?"

              "I'm not rotten!" she said defensively, sticking out her tongue at me.

              "Cupcake," Seth warned in that Daddy-voice he used on her. "Tell Vanessa what you did wrong."

              "I heard you were coming, so I stuffed all of my stupid blue diapers in the bag that was going to your place," she said sullenly.

              "Uh huh," Seth prodded her. "And what's your punishment?"

              "I have to write, 'I love blue' a hundred times," she fussed, pouting, "while wearing a stupid blue shirt with a stupid blue diaper, and Daddy's going to post the pictures on my Tumblr. But it's a lie. I hate blue."

              "How about," I suggested, "that you have to wear blue when Dani visits, and she'll wear pink."

              "No!" Jess gasped.

              "And this is why I love you, Vanessa," Seth chuckled.

              "Daddy no," the Little pleaded, grabbing at his arm and tugging. "No no, please! I want to wear cute things when Dani visits!"

              "And now we know we found the appropriate punishment," I smirked, grabbing a bag of nursery gear. "Thanks for holding on to this for me, Seth."

              "Well Cupcake," Seth was saying as I carried the bag out the door - I'd have a couple more trips, but it would be easy enough to load. "How about this - I'll pick something pink to wear, but you absolutely have to wear it with no complaint."

              "Okay," she said. I paused at the door, knowing exactly what he had in mind. It must have come in. I wanted to see her in it, so we'd need to arrange a playdate soon. "But it has to cover my boobs, I don't want to flash Dani."

              "Deal," Seth kissed his Little as I slipped out.

              She had no idea what she was in for.

              * * *

              Aubrey had abandoned me. It was Friday night and she was off with some blonde Adonis and I was with his wingman. We sat at a table and nursed our drinks. He seemed like a nice enough guy - his name was Harvey of all things, I felt bad for him. He was one of those nerdy types - you got a lot of those in Silicon Valley, and his name wasn't doing anything to help the image. He was barely even trying in his polo and khakis and his thick-rimmed glasses. He looked like he needed a pocket protector, but he wanted to listen.

              "She's my roommate. We've been friends for a long time," I explained. "She helped me out of a really bad relationship." It felt wrong to spread that lie, but this guy had no idea who Vanessa was. I wasn't even going to say that the relationship was with a girl. "I'm really thankful for her."

              "I'm really sorry to hear that," he seemed genuinely sad. "Do you want to talk about it?"

              My head was buzzing a little from the alcohol, the bartender had mixed my Long Island much stronger than I expected, and I surprised myself with my answer.

              "Yeah, actually," I took a deep breath and began, "I have this really weird fetish.. I was introduced to it by an ex-lover and I just really fell in love with it. It makes me feel safe and wonderful, but it's really weird. And I got in another kinda relationship," I wasn't going to tell the whole truth - that it wasn't a relationship, that it was my best friend who was there tonight, "and we started playing but they didn't play right at all. I got hurt... I... oh god, the bruises, I couldn't stand to look at myself in the bath, Harvey." I felt the tears threatening. "They beat me - spankings are supposed to be fun, they aren't supposed to make you bleed!"

              "Your boyfriend beat you to the point that you were bleeding?" he asked in horror.

              "He wouldn't stop," I cried. It was just easier to let him believe that Aubrey was a boy, that I was talking about someone else. "He was so mad that I couldn't get over my previous lover that he stepped in to give me what I was crying for, for the attention I wanted, but my old lover always stopped when I needed... he didn't. He said it wasn't punishment if I could stop it whenever I wanted. He said he was doing it because he loved me!"

              The world was a blur as I cried. I didn't remember, didn't see the trip outside, but before I knew it, Harvey and I were sitting on the curb, my arms wrapped around him tightly as I sobbed into his shoulder. He just held me, for long minutes he held me.

              "It's not your fault," he said quietly.

              "It is!" I cried. I wasn't ready to hear that. "It is my fault! I asked him to spank me, I asked him to treat me that way."

              "You asked him to stop," he pointed out. "You probably begged him to stop."

              "He wouldn't stop," a fresh wave of tears came, fresh sobs.

              "It's not your fault, Kailee," he squeezed my shoulders and said it over and over. "It's not your fault, you didn't ask to be abused."

              He didn't tell me I should have gone to the police, he didn't tell me that I brought it on myself. He didn't tell me that I shouldn't have engaged in that play. He just told me it wasn't my fault.

              "I'm so sorry I'm crying all over you," I sniffled, realizing my mascara was staining his shirt. "I'm so stupid."

              "Hey," he said quietly, taking me by the hands. "You're not stupid, you're hurting. Where's your friend? I think it's probably better if you went home."

              "No," I said, suddenly afraid that he would tell Aubrey the things I said. "No, she'll find me - she's off with your friend... she'll find me when she's ready to go home."

              "It's okay for you to have needs," he said, squeezing me around the shoulders again. "It's okay for tonight to be too much for you, and for you to go home. When did you get out of the abusive relationship?"

              "Three days ago," I sniffled.

              "Jesus," Harvey hissed, "What are you even doing out? It's way too early for you to be back out here, trying to date. You were abused, Kailee! It's okay to need some time."

              "Aubrey said I should find a boy... to take my mind off of... " I blushed, "My former lover was a girl. My abuser was a girl. I just said 'he' because you assumed it was a guy, it was just easier. I'm sorry, I'm a stupid liar and you probably hate me now for leading you on."

              "Hey, you're not leading me on," he assured me, but my anxiety was in full swing at this point. I felt terrible. "I'm just trying to be a friend to you, you sound like you need one. Your friend Aubrey should not have brought you out here tonight, you're moving too fast, you're not ready - and that's okay. I don't care if you're bi or gay, you have no reason to apologize to me. I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time."

              "Wow," I laughed between my tears, it was a strange sensation. "You're a really nice guy, you know that?"

              "I hear that one a lot," he smiled sadly.

              "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Ugh, I'm such an idiot!"

              "Kailee! Kailee, it's okay," he squeezed my hands, pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you've had such a bad go of it. You seem like a really nice girl and no one should have to go through what you went through."

              Unexpectedly, I had a dark urge. He was being so nice to me, I didn't understand it. I didn't understand why he was being nice and I didn't understand why I had this urge. But between my emotions being out of control and the alcohol, I leaned into the urge.

              "I like to wear diapers," I said in his ear while we hugged. "I like to wear diapers and that's why I couldn't tell anyone."

              "Well you just told me," he said consolingly, still holding me. Why wasn't he recoiling in horror? Why wasn't he telling me I was gross?

              "You're going to run away now and laugh to your friend about the stupid girl you met who wears diapers, aren't you?" I didn't mean to sound accusing but it came out that way. He was being nothing but nice to me and I was just dumping my problems in his lap and being a bitch about it.

              "No," he said solemnly, the hug not yet broken. "I've got no reason to tell anyone what you told me - it's not anybody's business. Who cares what you like behind closed doors, it's not like you're getting off to torturing kittens or anything. So it's a little weird, who cares. There's weirder out there... I'm a furry."

              It was me who recoiled. I felt terrible, he hadn't even flinched at my admission but I looked at him in shock.

              "You? But you seem so normal!"

              "Thanks," he smirked wryly, hiding his hurt - I could still see it in his eyes.

              "No, that's not what I meant," I groaned. "I mean... there's nothing wrong with that, I just didn't expect it. I felt stupid for admitting mine and then you just went and told me yours and I thought I was alone and I feel so stupid... "

              "Let's go find your friend," he said, his smile a little sad.

              "Aubrey was the one abusing me," I blurted out. "I'm just gonna go... I'll get an Uber home or something. Tell her I'm fine, I'll text her too... "

              "Your best friend and roommate literally beat you until you bled from it and you couldn't stand to look at the bruises on your own body when you bathed, and that's what you want to go home to?"

              "It sounds really bad when you say it like that," I grimaced.

              "Kailee, it is really bad. That's really, really bad."

              "We're better now!" I realized how defensive I sounded, I knew exactly what I sounded like.

              "That's exactly what an abuse victim would say," he sighed. "Look, do you have anywhere else you can go? A friend's house? Family?"

              "No," I sighed in return. "Aubrey is all I have." I blinked as he pulled out his phone and started texting. "What are you doing?"

              "Texting my roommate. Just promise me you're not a serial killer, okay? And don't tell him what I told you about me, he doesn't know."

              "What?"

              "I want you to come home with me tonight - you need some distance, you can't stay with someone who has been abusing you, Kailee. It doesn't matter if you think they're better now, it doesn't matter if you've forgiven them. The abuse was still going on this week. You need some perspective, you need some time away. You can take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch."

              "Why are you doing this?" I couldn't stop staring at him, it was like he was some kind of alien creature.

              "I've seen enough abuse in my life - one of the big things about life is paying it forward. Someone helped me when I was in trouble, and I'm going to help you. And hopefully someday, you'll help someone else. That's how we make the world a better place, and it needs it."
              Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

              Here's a list of my other stories!

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                #67
                I love this chapter. There is some truly interesting psychology in this story, and the way it plays out in the exchange between Kailee and Harvey is excellent. And I will definitely check out your other story.

                Comment


                  #68
                  Originally posted by bbykimmy View Post

                  I'm curious what you consider to be the fantastical elements? There are a few liberties I've taken, but I'm curious as to what you mean.
                  Hmm, I may have oversold that. It's just a matter of degrees. Things that are a little too convenient, Seth being weirdly good at finding dirt on people. I personally have trouble going as intense 24/7 as Jess and Seth seem to, but that might just be me projecting how I get a little burnt out after a bit. And of course the hardest thing to believe: the existence of a video chat system so reliable that you can trigger it by accident.

                  Still loving the latest chapter. Of course the furry wouldn't be surprised by diapers. Sometimes it seems like 1 in 3 furries is openly or secretly an ABDL.

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Originally posted by PoopyPants82 View Post
                    I love this chapter. There is some truly interesting psychology in this story, and the way it plays out in the exchange between Kailee and Harvey is excellent. And I will definitely check out your other story.
                    If you like the psychology of it, definitely read "Making the Best of It" and "It's the Little Choices". They have the same depth, if not more.

                    Originally posted by Taki View Post

                    Hmm, I may have oversold that. It's just a matter of degrees. Things that are a little too convenient, Seth being weirdly good at finding dirt on people. I personally have trouble going as intense 24/7 as Jess and Seth seem to, but that might just be me projecting how I get a little burnt out after a bit. And of course the hardest thing to believe: the existence of a video chat system so reliable that you can trigger it by accident.

                    Still loving the latest chapter. Of course the furry wouldn't be surprised by diapers. Sometimes it seems like 1 in 3 furries is openly or secretly an ABDL.
                    The social engineering scene that we saw Vanessa engage in - Seth has all of those same skills. It's why she was complaining that she couldn't begin the hunt herself, because 2 people working the same target at the same time isn't 2x more likely to raise red flags, it's like 5x. I did take some artistic license, generally this kind of hacking leaves breakages - the target knows that they've been hacked (it involves changing the target's passwords and locking them out of things) but their targets were unaware - so that's fantastical, I'll grant it.

                    The 24/7 lifestyle isn't for everyone, it's true. I've lived something not QUITE as intense as their game, but something similar - we had to stop though because we were both going through some hard-emotional stuff and CG/l was muddying the waters. I honestly hope to get back there some day, it's pretty magical.

                    As for the video chat... yeah, I wish there was one that reliable. Nobody ever initiated it on accident though, it's just that their software was set up to answer automatically - this is actually based on an experience I had with a gamer buddy... I dialed in and heard him making out with his wife because he left the software on auto-answer and the headphones on the desk.

                    I hung up quickly

                    Thank you as always for the comments and thank you for explaining your previous one <3

                    I definitely took some liberties - I think the most fantastical element is how quickly Dani "progresses" - it would take months or years for some people, but Dani is unrealistically going from vanilla to Little in the span of a week... but I didn't want to handwave a bunch of time away!
                    Last edited by bbykimmy; 07-30-2018, 11:52:53 PM.
                    Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

                    Here's a list of my other stories!

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                      #70
                      Chapter Thirty-Five

                      I was once again ready with a warm Apple Jack roll when Dani came home from her date, and once again she was emotionally destroyed.

                      I'd been expecting it this time, however. Breakups were rough no matter what side you were on, especially if you were a bleeding heart like Dani. She didn't want to hurt anyone, and she was the kind of person who took it personally, who felt bad about herself, if she had to hurt someone else. And there was no way she could let Julian down without hurting him.

                      "He was right," she sobbed as I held her on the couch. "I was cheating on him. I'm an awful person!"

                      "You were dating," I countered. "Not married. You should have told him, true, but you didn't do anything out of malice."

                      "I hurt him," she cried. I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her, just rocking her gently.

                      "You didn't hurt him on purpose," I pointed out after a long moment. "Our relationship evolved very quickly, you told him as soon as you could. I'm sorry you're hurting over this, but you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't reject him, you just chose to explore your relationship with me. That sounds familiar, doesn't it?" She nodded as I stroked her hair. "Did I get upset and take my feelings out on you when you told me you wanted to date Julian instead of me? I believe I saw you first, which meant you were mine according to playground rules."

                      That got a giggle.

                      "No," she admitted. "You didn't."

                      "No, because you didn't do it to hurt me. You did it to be true to your own heart. Did it hurt? Sure, it stung. I wanted you so badly, I knew you had this Little inside you, begging to come out and play. I knew that you had the potential to fall in love with this lifestyle in a way that very few people can, and I wanted you so badly. I can't tell you how many nights I dreamed of you, how often I imagined taping you into that first diaper, how often I imagined you in the high chair, in the crib... happy. That was always at the center of all of it. You being happy. I knew from the very first moment I saw you at the bar that this outcome was possible, but even so - when you chose Julian over me, I let you go, even though you were the girl of my dreams. That's what you do when you love something."

                      "Wow," she whispered. She drew herself up and pressed her lips to mine, kissing me not with passion, but with a deep love.

                      "What should we do to take your mind off of things?" I asked. "I know a certain other Little who is just dying to have a sleepover. We could invite Seth and Jess over here, or we could go over there - his apartment is bigger, but he wouldn't mind coming here."

                      "A sleepover?" she echoed. "What am I, six?" The light danced in her eyes, her gentle amusement.

                      "I figured you were around three at most," I teased. "Seeing as how you can't keep your pants dry."

                      "A sleepover sounds great, can we do it tomorrow?" Before I could answer, her phone chimed in her purse. She groaned, sitting up and pulling Forrest over her head and unzipping him. I was beyond happy that she had moved back into the silly purse. "Oh," she frowned. I squeezed her knee softly, letting her know silently that I was there for her. "Julian wants me to come get a box of my stuff - I didn't realize I had even left anything there... " she paused, reading, "I loaned him some books and some comics, and... I left some clothing over there. It would be nice to have some of my stuff from before the fire... "

                      "I'll go with you," I offered.

                      "I don't want to go all the way out to his place... he's on the eastern edge of Milpitas."

                      "See if he can meet somewhere, it's just fetching a box - let's meet near 237 and 880, there's lots of parking lots there. I'll drive us, you just get your stuff and then we'll go over to Seth's - assuming he's okay with the sleepover."

                      "That sounds great," she smiled, texting Julian. "Now how about a diaper and some video games?"

                      "How about we call Seth first?" I suggested. "While you eat your sushi?"

                      "You're so good to me," she cooed, laying down in my lap and grabbing a piece of the roll from the table, dropping it in her mouth and generally lounging across me. I tapped the call button and the TV sprang to life.

                      "Hello Vanessa," Seth greeted me from his couch after a moment of ringing. Jess was in a predicament, it seemed. She had her diapered butt way up in the air next to him on the couch with her face pressed to the cushion and her little pink skirt flipped up so it wasn't covering anything at all. Her hands were bound behind her back and her pacifier had been tied into her mouth. "Jess can't talk right now, she's a little tied up."

                      "You're so droll," I teased him. "Dani wanted to know if that offer for a sleepover was still open, maybe tomorrow?"

                      Jess' eyes went wide and she mumbled behind the pacifier. She tried to sit up but Seth put a hand on her back and firmly held her in place. Dani laughed - such a drastic departure from the reaction she would have had even two weeks ago.

                      "What did she do?" Dani asked.

                      "She was complaining that I don't 'tie her up right'," Seth smirked, patting Jess' diapered bottom as it hovered next to him, "because I often leave wiggle room and she said it's not fun if she can escape it."

                      "Well that was silly," Dani teased, dropping another piece of her roll into her mouth. "It's like she forgot who you were," she said with her mouth full, preventing herself from showing her half-chewed food only by holding up a hand.

                      "Danielle," I said sharply and she froze. "Are you talking with your mouth full?"

                      The look on both her face and Jess' were priceless. They both had wide eyes, though Jess' softened to amusement quickly. Dani finished chewing her bite slowly before speaking.

                      "Sorry," she squeaked. My heart thudded in my chest, it was the first time I had ever really scolded her and I wasn't sure how she would take it.

                      "Jess would love to have her little friend over for a sleepover," Seth smiled warmly, patting Jess again. "She keeps going on and on about how great Dani is, how pretty Dani is, how funny Dani is - I'd be jealous if I wasn't so secure in my ownership of her."

                      Now both Littles were blushing deeply, so I sat Dani up slowly in my lap and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her on the temple.

                      "Tomorrow night? Dinner together and then the sleepover? Maybe some games and movies?" Seth suggested, completely unperturbed by their embarrassment.

                      "Perfect, I'll see you tomorrow, we need to pick out some PJs for Dani to wear tomorrow," I wrapped my arm around Dani's waist possessively and said in a soft voice, "Say goodbye to Seth, princess."

                      "Bye Seth," she said shyly, in a small voice that made my heart flutter. She waved a tiny wave at him, and I disconnected the call. "Holy shit," she whispered. "That was really intense!"

                      "I wasn't sure how you'd take it," I said nervously, letting my discomfort show. "I want you to know that even in social situations, if I ever do anything to make you feel bad, I want you to safeword. Yellow if it's uncomfortable, red if you need me to stop immediately."

                      "It was... good," she blushed, sliding off my lap and facing me, "You scared me, but it was in that Oh No I'm in Trouble way, the same feeling I got when you and Seth walked in on us throwing toys... I like that feeling."

                      "Most Littles do," I smiled. "It's a submissive feeling."

                      "I don't have any cute pajamas, though... " she trailed off, frowning.

                      "You do now," I said, standing and pulling her to her feet along with me. "I unpacked the rest of the Little gear, and it's all yours."

                      "What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled.

                      I led her into the nursery and opened a drawer, showing her first her own, grownup clothes, and then the next drawer - a long drawer intended to hold jeans - which was filled to bursting with diapers of all sorts. I walked over to the closet and opened the door, revealing the full rack of dresses, onesies, shortalls, and - of course - pajamas. I fished out a kigurumi - a pair of chipmunk pajamas, complete with an adorable hood and cute mittens.

                      "Oh that's adorable," she breathed. "All of this is for me?"

                      "It is," I smiled. "If you'll be my princess."

                      "Does that make you my Mommy?" she asked, stepping to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. My pulse raced and my mouth went dry as I held her, my princess, who just called me the one thing I wanted to hear from her more than anything else.

                      "If you'll have me."

                      "I love you, Mommy," she whispered before kissing me, a long, loving kiss so deep I felt our souls touch.


                      * * *

                      "Sounds like you're getting your sleepover," Daddy teased. I was beyond hot and bothered and well into crazy horny, especially since I knew I wasn't getting laid tomorrow. I struggled against his hand and slipped his grip, climbing into his lap and straddling him, grinding my diaper against his crotch.

                      My arms were still firmly bound behind me, but now that his eyes were off of them, I could reach the double-snap hook that bound them together with my thumb. I touched my nose to his, breathing heavily as I continued to rub against him. Even through the diaper I could feel him, and I wanted him. Moments later, I had the snap hook popped and I tore the pacifier from my mouth, kissing him fiercely.

                      "Fuck me, Seth," I growled as I flung my arms around him. "Take me to your bed and fuck me until I can't walk straight."

                      "I guess we'll have to try tying you up again tomorrow then," he was entirely too satisfied when he said that - not at all disappointed, but I was too horny to analyze it. I wanted him, and I wanted him now. I leaned forward and bit his ear, then his neck, just where it met the jaw, and continued nipping at him, biting him the smallest amount, just enough to leave a mark that would be gone in a few minutes. I raked my nails across his back and moaned as I felt his hand move between my legs, sliding down my bottom and gripping the padding between my legs, sliding it back and forth against me.

                      "Please," I begged. "Carry me to the bedroom."

                      I was in the air before I could blink, being carried back to his bed, the bed I hadn't slept in for quite a while, but a bed I visited a lot.

                      I was in for a fun night.
                      Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

                      Here's a list of my other stories!

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                        #71
                        This story is continuing in a wonderful way. I do feel its coming to the end though. The relationship between Vanessa and Dani seems to of bloomed. The conflict between Audrey and Kailie is in the works of being resolved. Also Kailie is in the beginnig stages of healing from her trauma. Not to mention, I see a relationship of some sort starting between Kailie and the little fur ball. Hehe

                        Thankies for posting!!!

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                          #72
                          Chapter Thirty-Six

                          I hated Milpitas, the whole place stank. It was the ass end of the Bay and there was nothing worth seeing out there, nowhere worth going. Well, nothing now that Julian and I were done. I doubt he'd want to be friends after this, either. We were meeting in the parking lot of the shopping center right off of 880 on Calaveras and I just wanted it to be over.

                          It was weird, but I kind of felt like my "vanilla" life, as Vanessa put it, was over - this was a kind of closure. I'd never look at love quite the same way again, not after what I'd experienced with her, the deep trust that came with the games she played, the world she introduced me to. I'd done a lot of reading over the past week, any time I had a spare moment, I was reading about dominance and submission, about ageplay and the caregiver and little dynamic.

                          And it all felt so right.

                          I had been half tempted to just text Julian and tell him to throw the box in the garbage, that I didn't need any of it... that I had everything I wanted.

                          But I didn't and we were here now.

                          I climbed out of Vanessa's car, giving her hand a squeeze before I went to greet Julian. There was someone in the passenger seat of his car, but I couldn't make out who it was. I walked forward as he climbed out of the car.

                          "I'm really sorry," I began. "I didn't mean- "

                          "Just... don't," Julian croaked. It was obvious he had been crying. I felt terrible.

                          "Are you okay? I'm glad you have someone with you... "

                          "That's my cousin," he said as he moved to the trunk, popping it open. "She came in case I needed moral support... I just... what did I do wrong, Dani? I tried to do everything right!"

                          "I told you, Julian," my heart hurt as I spoke, it hurt to do this to him. I tried to remember Vanessa's words, that it wasn't malicious, that I wasn't trying to hurt him. That I was just trying to find my own way. "It wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong. You're a really great guy, we had a lot of fun together... I just want something else in my life."

                          "I wish you'd told me you were gay," he said bitterly as he lifted the box out of the trunk, closing the lid and setting the box on the back of his car.

                          "I'm not gay," I said, a little defensively. "I'm bi - gender doesn't really matter to me in a partner, it was never about that."

                          "You were with a woman before me, you're with a woman now - that sounds like you're gay to me," he was hurting, he was lashing out, but it didn't make it hurt less.

                          "You're hurting," I said softly, "I'm- "

                          "Damn right I'm hurting, Dani. You cheated on me! You- "

                          "I have to go," I interrupted him, taking the box and carrying it toward Vanessa's car. She climbed out to help me with it, and I was halfway back to her car when I heard the voice behind me.

                          "Vanessa. Evans," I turned to see the woman climbing from the passenger seat of Julian's car - the same one from the restaurant the night Jess had gotten so mad. "Holy hell you're the girl from the restaurant - you're Dani? The one who was dating Julian? I know you don't know me, but you need to get away from that woman, she's poison."

                          "What?" I asked, dumbfounded. I heard Vanessa's footfalls coming closer.

                          "She's a hacker! She knew everything about you before you started dating, didn't she? Your favorite restaurants, your coffee order, your last girlfriend's name, and she never seemed to forget anything - your birthday, your favorite color. It was like she was reading your diary! Julian! Remember that app you found on my phone? The one that was reading my texts and reporting my location?" She pointed over my shoulder, pointed to Vanessa. "That's the bitch who installed it!"

                          My mind reeled. That did describe Vanessa. I thought back to our first date, to the dumpling house. To the coffee shop. How we just happened to run into each other after the missed connection at the bar.

                          Vanessa never forgot anything. And those words struck true. It did feel like Vanessa was reading my diary. That was exactly how I had explained it to Jenni, but I had said it like it was a good thing.

                          "She broke into my accounts- " Lauren continued.

                          "Lauren," Vanessa cut her off.

                          "Fuck you Vanessa! I'm not letting you ruin another woman's life! Dani, don't fall for her. Show Julian your phone, if that tracking app is on it, you'll know I'm telling the truth. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she changed... but I doubt it. Vanessa is a cruel, manipulative bitch and I don't want to see her hurt anyone else."

                          I looked to Vanessa - she was unreadable. That open, caring woman that I thought I knew so well looked like she was carved out of stone, expressionless.

                          "Don't listen to her," Vanessa looked me in the eyes, but they weren't the eyes I was used to looking into, gazing into as we made love. They were cold. Calculating.

                          I felt the box fall from my hands, heard it hit the ground. Julian was by my side, taking my phone from my purse.

                          "What's your unlock code, Dani?" he prompted, his tears gone. I felt like I was in a daze.

                          "Three seven five four," I heard myself say. "But- "

                          "That app was a serious piece of work," Julian growled. "Really evil stuff... "

                          "I just wanted to know you better," Vanessa said. It didn't make sense. "I just wanted to know how to make you happy, I wanted to know if we were right for each other."

                          "It's right there," Julian was holding up the phone to my face, showing me something, but it didn't make sense. It was my GPS coordinates, and a status that said the tracking was active... Lauren was telling the truth. "Dani, she's been spying on you. She broke into all of Lauren's accounts, her credit card statements, her bank accounts, her Facebook. She looked at everything, she's good - it was almost impossible for me to find the traces that she had been there."

                          "I just wanted to love you," Vanessa said weakly.

                          "She's a sociopath," Lauren's hand was on my shoulder. "She just wants someone for her sex games, she has no morals - it's why she's so damned good at her job. She ruins peoples' lives for a living, Dani."

                          It didn't make sense. Everything they were saying made sense, but when it was put all together, it didn't make sense. I took my phone from Julian, staring at the screen.

                          "Dani, I'm sorry," Vanessa's voice floated across the void to me.

                          "You're sorry?" Lauren hissed. "You're sorry? You break into peoples' lives to find someone to date, you sick bitch!"

                          "Our whole relationship is built on a lie," my voice sounded a million miles away as the realization stared me in the face. "You manipulated me. You showed me what I wanted to see until I fell in love with you."

                          "I just wanted to give you the things you wanted, I wanted you to be happy... "

                          My feet were moving before I realized what was happening, and I was running down the street, tears streaming down my face.

                          I didn't have anywhere to go. I had no home, nowhere to run. I had put all my eggs in Vanessa's basket. I ducked down a back street and ran between some buildings, sliding to the ground with my back against the wall.

                          Everything Lauren had said was true, Vanessa didn't even try to deny it. She had just tried to explain it, like she hadn't done anything wrong, like she hadn't pried into my personal life. Like she hadn't been lying to me from the very first words. Like it was justified.

                          My heart was breaking. I had destroyed Julian for her, I had thrown away part of my identity for her. I had debased myself and surrendered to her game.

                          I had loved her.

                          My heart was breaking and I just sat there and cried.


                          * * *


                          "Stay the fuck out of my life, Lauren," I growled, picking up Dani's box and tossing it into the back seat of the car. "You broke her fucking heart."

                          "I broke her heart?" Lauren echoed. "You are a psycho, Vanessa. I'm trying to save her from you."

                          "I never hurt you," I countered. "I played a game you didn't like, and I didn't seek retribution when you left."

                          "You violated me," Lauren roared. "Do you know how many identity protection services I signed up for to guard against your bullshit?" I did, actually. She had hired three - one of them was decent.

                          "I never harmed you," I objected. "I never used any of that information against you, I never tried to bring you pain or sadness."

                          "You can't just break into peoples' accounts, Vanessa! It's a crime for a reason!"

                          "And yet politicians hobble encryption at every turn," I sneered. "I exploit holes in systems that they left. There are ways to protect yourself, Lauren. Just do some fucking research. Safeguard your accounts - then it's harder for evil bogeymen like me."

                          "You're sick, Vanessa. Get help."

                          "You've helped me quite enough," I snapped. "I need to find her. I love her."

                          "You're a sociopath," she sneered. "I don't think you're even capable of love."

                          I got in the car and fired up the tracking app - but Dani had disabled it. She couldn't have gotten far. I fired up the engine and drove slowly in the direction she had run, watching for her.

                          I hated Lauren right then, more than I hated anyone before in my life. She had ruined everything - after that long, delicate dance. After that prolonged hunt. After pouring my heart and soul out for Dani. I had done my research to make sure we were a good match, to make sure I could appeal to her, nothing more. I wouldn't hurt her - I hadn't hurt Lauren or Kailee or Jess.

                          My heart hurt. I reached up and felt a wetness on my face. I was crying. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried real tears. I loved Dani. She was the one I wanted to be with forever, my Little, my princess.

                          And now I might lose her for good. I ached, I felt ill as I drove around, searching for her. She was headed east, deeper into Milpitas. She couldn't go west, the 880 was right there and it wasn't safe to go anywhere near there on foot.

                          I was suddenly afraid that she might hurt herself, a thought that hadn't occurred to me before then. My mind spiralled out of control, imagining my poor princess wandering into traffic and getting hurt.

                          I picked up my phone and dialed... but got her voicemail.

                          "Dani," I began. "I'm sorry. But right now I'm worried about you, I'm worried about your safety. Please, let me drive you back home. If you want to leave me, fine. I don't want you to, but I won't stop you. I just want to know you're safe. I just want to know you're okay. I can't stop thinking about the possibility of you getting hurt and it's tearing me apart. Please Dani, call me back. Tell me where you are. I'm scared."

                          I would have given anything to have her safely back in my arms at that moment.

                          Anything.
                          Last edited by bbykimmy; 08-02-2018, 09:02:06 AM.
                          Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

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                            #73
                            Wow, this chapter was a cluster of mixed emotions. I agree with Lauren, that what Vanessa did was wrong. I also think Dani should separate herself from Vanessa so she can properly process her emotions and determine where she wants to go from here. Then on the other hand I feel bad for Venessa. Her world has been tossed like a crappy salad. I want Dani to stay with her, although I feel she shouldn't. The relationship has some serious trust issues already. How can she move forward with it if she is already weary of trusting Vanessa.

                            You really are good at envoking emotions in your stories. For that, I congratulate you.

                            Thankies for posting!!!

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                              #74
                              Originally posted by LilPeaches View Post
                              This story is continuing in a wonderful way. I do feel its coming to the end though. The relationship between Vanessa and Dani seems to of bloomed. The conflict between Audrey and Kailie is in the works of being resolved. Also Kailie is in the beginnig stages of healing from her trauma. Not to mention, I see a relationship of some sort starting between Kailie and the little fur ball. Hehe

                              Thankies for posting!!!
                              Now you know why I couldn't reply to this one

                              Originally posted by LilPeaches View Post
                              Wow, this chapter was a cluster of mixed emotions. I agree with Lauren, that what Vanessa did was wrong. I also think Dani should separate herself from Vanessa so she can properly process her emotions and determine where she wants to go from here. Then on the other hand I feel bad for Venessa. Her world has been tossed like a crappy salad. I want Dani to stay with her, although I feel she shouldn't. The relationship has some serious trust issues already. How can she move forward with it if she is already weary of trusting Vanessa.

                              You really are good at envoking emotions in your stories. For that, I congratulate you.

                              Thankies for posting!!!
                              Thank you for going on this emotional journey with me. Thank you for letting the story reach you.

                              Vanessa messed up. If this story were told from Julian's perspective, Vanessa is the antagonist - she stalked and seduced his girlfriend and stole her away, violating her privacy and breaking the law.

                              But you still want her to get the girl, even though you know she's "the bad guy".

                              Feelings are hard.
                              Please, if you like my writing - leave a comment, they really do mean the world to me.

                              Here's a list of my other stories!

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                                #75
                                Huh. I'm a little curious how Vanessa could have gotten so much information about Lauren (reading texts, tracking, etc) without knowing she had a brother Julian or seeing any overlap between Dani's Julian and Lauren's Julian. I appreciate the story laying the foundation for Vanessa having no real info on Julian from either herself or Seth, but the impression one gets is that Vanessa's knowledge about Lauren was much more encyclopedic.
                                Be gentle. Thanks,

                                Peter Rabbit

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