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Breaking the Girl: A Novel

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  • Malin
    replied
    I signed up for this forum because I wanted to tell you how much I appreciated it.

    Stories can have all sorts of effect. They can be entertaining, or thrilling, or funny, or a thousand other things.

    But the best of all are stories that make my world larger. These stories are an invitation to broaden my horizon: to become more familiar with something that I’ve kept at a distance, because I found it strange or hard to understand. Maybe I have an ill-founded opinion about it, or even a prejudice. I guess nobody is immune to those.

    Stories like that shush my knee-jerk “that’s not for me”-reflex because I can relate to the people in them, to their feelings and thoughts. When that happens, uneasiness and prejudices don’t stand a chance. It’s an amazing and liberating feeling: reading these stories makes my world bigger. There’s more room to breathe afterwards.

    So, I wanted to thank you for making my world bigger. And I hope you’ll keep writing! It’s a gift to be able to help people connect and to create understanding.
    The world can surely use more of that.

    All the best!

    Malin

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  • Jul
    replied
    Waow !
    I binge read this one, can't stop...
    I should have a look on the non ABDL version and maybe pass it to my wife who liked 50 shades of grey

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  • HayHaySammi
    replied
    I registered for an account just to praise this story. Thank you for sharing it with us! <3<3<3

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  • derj
    replied
    Thank you for the story. Start reading the first chapter and after that could I not stop until I had finish it. Very exiting and emotional.

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  • Hybrid
    replied
    Holy cow!!!! That was amazing. Couldn't put it down, read it all in one sitting!

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  • bbykimmy
    replied
    Originally posted by LilBecca View Post
    Very well done! You did a great job with each character's plot, capturing different possible aspects of the dynamic and the feeling that go with them. I like that you added some erotica content to the story, not every story needs that but for this one it fit in well, just enough to let the imagination wander. I thought you handled the plothole well and hey that's the nice part of why we have a story forum anyway. Very much enjoyed reading, looking forward to checking out more. Best wishes!
    Thanks Becca! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for all the kind words, and I hope you enjoy anything else of mine that you find <3

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  • LilBecca
    replied
    Very well done! You did a great job with each character's plot, capturing different possible aspects of the dynamic and the feeling that go with them. I like that you added some erotica content to the story, not every story needs that but for this one it fit in well, just enough to let the imagination wander. I thought you handled the plothole well and hey that's the nice part of why we have a story forum anyway. Very much enjoyed reading, looking forward to checking out more. Best wishes!

    Leave a comment:


  • bbykimmy
    replied
    Originally posted by PeterRabbit View Post

    I should add I've really enjoyed all of your stories so far, both here and elsewhere, I just get so involved in reading that I forget to post to say it. I'm glad this was an easy fix for a small nitpick. A cousin relationship is much easier to believe that it was overlooked in the social engineering and research on Lauren and on Dani.
    Well thank you very much! It's always good to hear that my other stories are enjoyed too. This one was quite a departure from my normal DD fare, but I really enjoyed writing it and sharing it.

    And your nitpick wasn't a nitpick, it was a major plothole that I deeply appreciate you pointing out. I'm embarrassed that I didn't catch it myself. I'm also glad it was an easy fix <3

    Originally posted by BabyAnna View Post

    It may also be erotica, but it's mainly a well written story. As for the guarantee, it may not be explicitly stated but "Author: bbkimmy" is its own implicit promise. This is quality.

    Wow. It really means a lot to me that you consider my name to be an implicit promise of quality. I've always strived for a reputation of quality and reliability (the second one hasn't been the best track record, but finishing this one brings us back above a 50% completion rate). I really appreciate you telling me that this is exactly the impression you get.

    Thank you for reading, and thank you for sharing your kind thoughts <3

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  • BabyAnna
    replied
    Originally posted by bbykimmy View Post
    this is free erotica and so quality is not always guaranteed
    It may also be erotica, but it's mainly a well written story. As for the guarantee, it may not be explicitly stated but "Author: bbkimmy" is its own implicit promise. This is quality.


    Leave a comment:


  • PeterRabbit
    replied
    Originally posted by bbykimmy View Post

    EDIT: I actually changed their relationship from siblings to cousins - you can still have that familial bond and it's much harder to see on paper. Thank you for your attention to detail!
    I should add I've really enjoyed all of your stories so far, both here and elsewhere, I just get so involved in reading that I forget to post to say it. I'm glad this was an easy fix for a small nitpick. A cousin relationship is much easier to believe that it was overlooked in the social engineering and research on Lauren and on Dani.

    Leave a comment:


  • bbykimmy
    replied
    Originally posted by superfunnel View Post
    Bravo. An amazing end to.an amazing story.
    Thank you <3

    Thank you for reading it and thank you for letting me know you enjoyed it, I appreciate it. Sharing this tale was a joy.

    Originally posted by PoopyPants82 View Post
    Well done! Every chapter of this story is a little gem, and the whole of it a work of art. I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent with your characters. I can't wait to dive into your other works. Thank you for sharing your work with all of us.
    Thank you! I deeply appreciate the complement! I hope the characters made you feel some things, I hope they made you think about those feelings - that's always my goal: the feelings.

    Please let me know if you end up reading any of my other work <3

    Originally posted by TheOneWhoSees View Post
    Beautiful! Can't wait to see what else you give us outside the Dimension if this is any indication.

    I'm surprised Dani didn't go to Jenni after running away. It seemed like you mentioned her in the preceding chapter to remind us of her existence just for that reason.
    Chekhov's gun had a blank there If this were professional work, that likely would have been trimmed - Dani was deeply, deeply hurt by Jenni's transformation into a person she didn't feel good being around. Think "Your Racist Friend" from the They Might Be Giants album Flood. Jenni is actually a person in my real life who was very, very deeply important to me during my late teens... and she transformed, by my late 20s she was a caricature of her former self. A Rush Limbaugh spouting, hate-filled racist and hanging out with her broke my heart...

    Dani's Jenni was a way of me addressing that trauma in my life, the "death" of a relationship while the person yet lived.

    So to Dani, running to Jenni was never an option - Jenni was functionally dead. But the ghost of that relationship lingered, a longing reminder of what once was but can never be again.

    I didn't convey it as deeply in the story... I had a lot of other trauma to juggle for the tale

    As for other tales outside the Dimension... I'll have a new one on Tuesday.

    I hope I get lots of feedback on it while it's in progress, it's very very different. It's an Urban Fantasy novel written by an ABDL rather than an ABDL fetish story with an engaging plot.

    Leave a comment:


  • TheOneWhoSees
    replied
    Beautiful! Can't wait to see what else you give us outside the Dimension if this is any indication.

    I'm surprised Dani didn't go to Jenni after running away. It seemed like you mentioned her in the preceding chapter to remind us of her existence just for that reason.

    Leave a comment:


  • PoopyPants82
    replied
    Well done! Every chapter of this story is a little gem, and the whole of it a work of art. I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent with your characters. I can't wait to dive into your other works. Thank you for sharing your work with all of us.

    Leave a comment:


  • superfunnel
    replied
    Bravo. An amazing end to.an amazing story.

    Leave a comment:


  • bbykimmy
    replied
    Epilogue

    We hadn't seen Seth and Jess in what felt like an eternity. The shrink had wanted Vanessa to avoid all contact with people who had enabled her antisocial behavior. She hadn't liked that term - she maintained that she was very social, but that wasn't what it was about.

    Vanessa didn't care about rules, not when it came to furthering her goals. She had a hard time empathizing with others in some situations. The doc called it a "not severe" case and cautioned against a formal diagnosis on the grounds that it had the potential to harm her down the line and she was working towards fixing her problems, but it was there.

    I was in love with a sociopath. It may have been "not severe", but it was still a hard thing to deal with. It didn't mesh with my mental picture of Vanessa, and it was really hard to separate what had been an act from what had been genuine. I had almost left her three times during those first couple of weeks, but it had been three months since she started treatment and the doctor was pleased with her progress.

    It had been hard to give up the ageplay games we had loved so much, that had opened up the pathway between us, that had shown me a deeper love than I had ever known possible - but we had slowly reintroduced them. I had slowly gotten my Mommy back.

    Vanessa was still working but it was hard - her illness was part of what made her so good at her job, and creating mental boundaries around when it was okay to set aside her empathy and when it wasn't was very difficult for her. It was difficult for me to watch her struggle - and she did have empathy, she had a lot of it, but she had some serious childhood trauma I had never been aware of.

    I was glad I could be there to hold her hand while she worked through it.

    Slowly, we had built a new life out of the ashes of that day in Milpitas. My job was going great, I actually ended up easing us through a dry spell that normally would have forced Vanessa to take on non-Analyst jobs, like speaking engagements. We had connected again, first as friends, then as lovers, and when it felt safe, I had gone back to being her Little. It took the three together for our relationship to really feel whole. They bled into each other, and living without a piece of that magical triangle was difficult.

    But now the nursery was all back together and I was finally going to have that sleepover with Jess.

    We had repaired over the past month, I had really felt betrayed by the fact that she knew about everything that Vanessa had been doing. Putting that aside was hard, but I could see she needed help too. We started going out together, just the two of us. Sometimes we were diapered, sometimes we weren't. We'd go shopping, we'd go clubbing, we'd go hang out at the comic book shop - which was a thing I was really getting into - and she was starting to make entirely new friends as well. We had a few in common, and when the lot of us got together, it was a riot. I worried about Seth, however. He was having a hard time dealing with the fact that Jess wasn't wholly dependent upon him for mental stimulation.

    We kicked him out of the apartment twice a month and had a Littles party, just the two of us. I made out like a bandit because Jess was often the one who had to clean up after it.

    Next month they were supposed to take me up to this fabled club in the city they had mentioned so many times, which was supposedly opening a room just for Littles to play in. Our lifestyle seemed to be gaining more popularity as people found the joys of being Little.

    Even though I had seen both Seth and Jess many times over the past month, tonight was still a little scary. It was the first time all four of us had gotten together with the intention of playing. We had dinners together, but the lifestyle was always off limits as a topic of conversation - we ended up talking about movies, music, games... the things that vanilla friends talked about.

    I squeezed Vanessa's hand as she knocked on the door. I had butterflies in my stomach - I was going to be Little all night with my Mommy right there and my best friend to play with - Jess was my Little side's best friend by a mile - as long as she hadn't gotten herself in trouble.

    "Well hello," Seth greeted us with a smile. "Go on back to the nursery and get her changed." I was Little, he wasn't going to offer it to me. "Hello Dani-girl," he smiled, patting my head. "Are you going to be a good girl tonight? Cupcake is off to a rough start."

    "Mmmph!" the muffled call came from the living room and I peered around the corner to see Jess sitting on the couch, bound tightly in a pink straitjacket.

    "Jess!" I whined, "You were supposed to be good so we can play tonight!"

    "She failed," Seth shrugged. "Were you a good girl?" he asked her.

    She shook her head slowly from side to side.

    "I'm really cross with you," I fumed, though I wasn't really mad. Her big pink pacifier was tied in her mouth and her feet were up on the coffee table, her legs spread wide, showing off the thick pink diaper... which was surprisingly dry. I reached into the diaper bag Mommy carried and grabbed my blue paci, popping it in my mouth before climbing onto the couch - but taking it out to talk. "You were supposed to be extra super special good so we could have lots and lots of fun!"

    "Mmmph mmm mmmmph!" she protested behind the paci, waggling her head. She wanted me to take it out so she could talk.

    Like hell I was getting in trouble for her. Instead, I set into tickling her, my fingers digging into her ribs. And moving toward her armpits. Her eyes widened and Seth laughed behind me. I kept going until she was thrashing like crazy, panting and squealing behind the pacifier... I kept going until she wet herself.

    "I'm gonna go get changed like a good girl," I huffed, sticking my tongue out at her. "Into my cute chipmunk PJs!" I walked back over to Vanessa, flinging my arms around her neck. "May I please wear my chipmunk PJs, Mommy?"

    She was nervous, anxious. She hadn't been in this environment in a while. Our play at home had been similarly strained at first when we reintroduced it, but I knew she'd find her comfort zone quickly and dive back in.

    "Of course, princess," she smiled. "You're such a good girl, unlike some unruly brats that we know."

    "I'm trying," Seth shrugged. "But how do you correct a brat who loves her punishment?"

    Vanessa led me back to the nursery and stripped my clothes from me, laying me down and removing the diaper that I wore - I was pretty much always diapered on the weekends now, and some weeknights if I knew I didn't have an early meeting to rush off to. I slept mostly in our bed in the master bedroom... except on the weekends, where I was confined to the crib at night. Vanessa balled up my wet diaper and tossed it in Jess' bin before pulling out a thick Little Paws with a booster and taping me in before working my arms and legs into my pajamas, buttoning up the buttons for me and tying my hair into pigtails. She clipped my paci clip to the pajamas and looked at me with concern.

    "I'm nervous," she said. She was still sharing all of her negative emotions with me so I could help her stay grounded. They were a lot fiercer after she had dug up so much trauma from her childhood. "What if this triggers all of the things I've been working on?"

    "I'm proud of you," I told her, hugging her tightly. "If Seth wants to talk about the things that you've been working on, just tell him that you're not comfortable with that. He's your friend, he loves you. He'll respect your boundaries. If he won't, we'll leave and give him another chance later."

    "I love you so much," she said, kissing me softly.

    "I love you too, Vanessa."

    "I'm ready to be Mommy again," she smiled a warm, genuine smile. Her eyes lit up, though that hint of fear, that touch of sadness was still there. Facing one's demons - especially when you had let them drive for so long - was incredibly hard.

    "Well Mommy," I grinned. "Let's go pick on Jess. Where's Buttercup Jolly Hooves?"

    "Oh you're going to be a brat tonight then?" she smirked, grabbing Jess' very most favoritiest toy from the crib. "I'm sure she'll let you try out her straitjacket."

    "Actually," I laughed softly. "That sounds like a lot of fun. How much trouble do you think I'll have to be in before Seth suggests it?"

    "Let's go find out."




    Epilogue Two

    I would never fully understand Harvey's 'fursona', but he would likely never understand my Littlespace either. But we'd trade. I'd parade him around on a leash at his gatherings and he'd baby me at mine. It was a pretty big shock to learn that I was a switch after all that time - but I found genuine joy in fulfilling the dominant role for him, more than I had ever thought possible. It had taken a long time to work through the person that I used to be and the damage that Aubrey had done to me.

    I hadn't spoken to her in almost a year now.

    Harvey had saved my life. All because he had been Lucas' wingman and Lucas thought Aubrey was hot.

    It was funny how life worked out sometimes. Harvey had turned out to be a psychology student at Berkeley. He had been studying specifically on how to help the victims of abuse cope with their pain... it was kismet. He had been my life raft, and I had cut ties with Aubrey. He helped me find a place to stay in Berkeley while I got back on my feet, he helped me get a job working near the university, and after six months of dating, I moved in with him.

    It was scary to think about how close I had been to the bottom, how close I had been to death... and how wonderful things were now. He had helped me discover a caring, dominant side to my personality. He had helped me nurture it.

    He had helped me grow into a whole person.

    I wondered where Aubrey was from time to time. I wondered where Vanessa was. And some days it was hard to keep that part of my life behind me. I wrote them each lots of letters that I never sent, talking about my feelings, my regrets with Vanessa - how I'd been selfish and self-absorbed, how I hadn't valued what she had been offering... and my pain to Aubrey over what she had done to me, and how disappointed in myself I was for letting it get there. Harvey told me it wasn't my fault, that I had been doing the best I could with the resources I had at the time, that I had been sick.

    But it was difficult to shake that shame.

    I worried that I might never be free of it.

    But I was trying.

    And I was happy.

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