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Who We Are

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    [Complete] Who We Are

    Guys!! I did it!! I've written and published novels, and yet, I've never been able to finish an solely ABDL Story!! But now I did!! And I feel so proud of myself!!

    Anyway, writing this has been so therapeutic for me. I am very happy how it turned out. This story, I feel, is different of many others out there. I like to think that at least. It took a great amount of effort and love, but I am very happy to share it with you.

    I am posting it under a pen-name, which is actually a variation of my real name. I wish I was confident enough to post it with my real name, but you know... I don't want to jeopardize my professional life.

    This story is 28K words long, divided in 13 chapters. I am going to post 3 chapters a day, because I really want to read your feedback, thoughts and opinions! Please enjoy!!

    Carter Blake and Robin Bailey were best friends. Eighteen year olds high-school seniors, and very different from each other, and yet, super close. Carter thought he knew everything about Robin, but he has had his suspicions that something is going on with his best friend. He's keeping a secret he refuses to share with anyone.

    Robin always thought he could keep his secret desire to be babied and wear diapers like that, a secret. But he's not happy like that. Sometimes, the shame of it all doesn't let him breathe at ease. However, his fears come true as his family and best friend discover what he's been keeping so private.

    A series of events will show everyone involved that the only way to break through life is with one powerful concept: Unconditional Love.

    Who We Are

    Henry Lyra

    Chapter One

    The drops fall on me as I feel the warm water soothe my body in the most comforting and relaxing way.

    I close my eyes as I let it tingle down my body, running from my hair down to my chest, my arms, my thighs and legs. The water is always my friend, and it always makes me feel better. I’ve heard my mom said countless times that I am part-mermaid. I think my dad once joked that they weren’t my real parents, that they found me in a basket floating in the ocean, that the waves brought me from Atlantis and delivered me to them. That I was a child of the sea.

    When I was small I used to take pride on that story. I would tell all my friends at school that I was adopted and that I was a merchild, that I was born in the ocean and that I came from another world. It was until I broke my arm one day and they had to take tests on me that I discovered that my DNA matched my parents and I was indeed their son.

    No Atlantis secret origin for me.

    It’s not like I truly believed I was a merchild, but I still think it’s funny. When I joined the swim team as I started high school, no one was surprised. I came home with the excited grin and proud smile and said. “Mom, Dad, I joined the swim team!”

    They just rolled their eyes.

    That’s how badly I loved water. Hell, when I played Pokémon, I swear I always captured Water type. That’s how much I loved it. Anyway, this is not really about my love for water, I’m just saying how much being under the shower helps me clear my head. I have a great day ahead and I just don’t want to go all stressed out.

    I close the water and step out of the shower, gabbing my towel and drying myself off. First my hair and then my body. I get into my room, which as always is filled with trophies and medals of my swim competitions, a couple of posters of my favorite movies and my bookshelf. Whoever thought athletes don’t read is dead wrong. I love to read.

    Walking to my dresser, I pick a pair of boxers and put them on. My mom has the worst habit of never knocking when she comes into my room and the last thing I want is her to see me naked. It happened once. It was awkward.

    Once I had jeans and a very formal blue shirt, I combed my hair. I have style. Hell, I have swag.
    My shoes on, I walk out of the room feeling a little bit nervous. Today was Dove’s award ceremony and I was very anxious for her. I mean, I know it’s not normal to feel this kind of nervousness for someone else, but I know how hard she worked to get this prize and I am really hoping she gets it. She deserves it.

    I walked into the kitchen. Mom and Dad were gone for the day already. Mom was a lawyer, and she was dealing with tough cases lately. I try not to get involved in her job so much, because as a lawyer, she has to deal with several very tragic and gruesome stories. She always defends the people who she thinks they’re innocent, and that is awesome. However, it is a fight for justice and good and evil which I like to stay out of.

    I don’t need more drama in my life. Not when Graduation is coming and I’m supposed to be all “cheery, cheery, happy, happy.”

    Dad is a psychologist. And he loves it. However, it gets annoying when he tries to therapize me. I mean, I know he’s very into the workings of the mind and behavior and healing activities but come on! I’m his son, not his patient! Still, he’s an awesome person, and I know he never wants to make me uncomfortable. That’s just how he is.

    Quickly, I see a note Mom left at the fridge. “Breakfast at the Baileys’. Love you. XOXO.”
    I smile. Mom usually leaves breakfast for me, but a chance to have breakfast with the Baileys is always good.

    Without thinking much, I grab my smartphone and stock it in my pocket, then my wallet on my other pocket, and rush toward the house next door.


    The moment I walk into the Bailey’s house, I feel the scent of scrambled eggs with Spanish sausage hit my nostrils, making me salivate. I can also hear Mrs. Bailey squishing some oranges to make fresh orange juice. I smile as I walk into the kitchen and see her in full Cook Mode. Her red hair is tied on a ponytail, and her sleeves are folded back above her shoulders. For a forty-five year old housewife, she looks pretty badass as she squishes those oranges.

    She sees me, her green eyes showing me so much emotion. “Carter! You’re here! I wasn’t expecting you for another half an hour!”

    I smile warmly at her. “Well, you know I am an early bird. Do you need help with those oranges, Mrs. Bailey?”

    She shakes her head. “Naw, Carter. You know I’m a tough cookie. Why don’t you go wake Robin up?”

    I can’t help but raise an eyebrow. “He’s not up yet?”

    “Nope,” says Mrs. Bailey as she sighs defeated. “He kept chatting online till 1 AM! I didn’t even know he was still up until I walked past his room and saw the lights on. Had to send him to bed.”

    I roll my eyes. “Can’t believe him. His sister is getting an award and he’s still sleeping.”

    Mrs. Bailey nods in agreement. “Yeah. Dove left around one hour ago. Had to be there early for the preparations of the ceremony. I wish her brother was more proactive when it comes to be a responsible person!”

    “That’s Robin for you,” I say with a smirk. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Bailey. I’ll give him a proper good morning wake up call.”

    Without waiting for a reply, I rush upstairs and head toward Robin’s room. I know he’s a deep sleeper, so he’s probably so deeply asleep he won’t hear me come in. I swear an earthquake could happen, meteors would rain down the sky and floods would drown the city underwater and he’d sleep through it all.

    Me? The mere sound of a buzzing fly is enough to wake me up.

    I slowly creep into his room, his door is never squeaky and I’ve known how to be silent as a ninja. Man, I could really try a career at ninja-ing. Is there such a thing?

    The moment I’m inside his room, the first thing I see is his messy desk, full of novels he loves to read and re-read. Like me, he’s an avid reader. There is another shelf next to his desk that is full of CDs and movies. Yeah, we’re in the 2010’s and he still loves to collect physical editions of music and films. He has superhero posters all over the walls.

    His room is quite interesting, but it would be so much better if it didn’t stink of dirty socks. The boyish smell is all around the place. It’s not bad, I like his smell. Or maybe I’ve gotten used to it. Funny smells are kind of always floating around his room.

    I creep deeper into his room and I see him.

    I am about to howl like a wolf to wake him up, but I stop myself when my eyes fall upon him.
    There he is, Robin Bailey, curled under his sheets, his red hair messy and tussled. I can’t help but smile, because the babyish gurgling leaves his mouth like a song to the world. His right arm was cuddling Rhino, his plush toy. Which, yes, is a rhino. His left thumb is plopped into his mouth, and he’s sucking it calmly, looking innocent. His fingers balled into a fist, his index finger above his nose. I know, Robin is eighteen years old, he shouldn’t do that, right?

    I don’t understand it either, to be honest.

    He’s been a thumbsucker, always. It took him two full years after we met for him to be comfortable to tell me about it. I was thirteen at the time when he came to me and his face was red as his hair when he confessed he slept with a plushy and sucked his left thumb. He said that’s the reason why he never slept over.

    After five minutes of teasing him merciless, I told him that it was okay. It was funny, but it fit his personality so well, and it wouldn’t change a thing. And with me knowing, we could finally have fun sleepovers. Because there is something that is certain.

    He is my best friend.

    He’ll always be my best friend. No matter what.

    So yeah, he’s an eighteen year old sucking his thumb and cuddling his plushy. I can’t help but feel a stupid grin form in my face as I watch him. Is it wrong to think he looks endearing? Adorable?

    Trying to be as quiet as I can, I take out my smartphone and pull the camera app. I quickly take a picture of him. Part of me wants to use it as blackmail material, but I know deep inside that it will always be a reminder of how special he is.

    Once I pull the smartphone away with a smirk, I finally howled.

    My throat let out a wolf-like cry, and Robin literally jumped.

    He sat up, jerking his thumb off his mouth and looking around with a deeply panicked state. “What the hell?! What’s going on!?”

    I break into mad laughter. Seriously. The expression of terror on his face is priceless. As my laughs fill the room, I can see him frown.

    “That was so uncool, dude!” he says with a scowling face. “One of these days you’re going to give me a heart attack! Who’s going to help you with your homework then?!”

    I shrug, wiping a couple of tears of my eyes. “Sammy. She’s way smarter than you, anyway.”

    He pouts. Literally.

    I grab Rhino from the bed and push it against his face. I speak with a mocking voice. “Aw, don’t pout little boy! Rhino doesn’t want little Rob to pout!”

    He rolls his eyes and pulls Rhino from my hands. “You’re impossible.”

    I smile and grab his hand and pull him off bed. “Yes I am. And you’re a lazy ass. You should be ready. Your sister is getting an award today and you’re still in your pajamas. Not cool dude!”

    Robin then smirks at me with a teasing look. “Aw, come on. Don’t pretend I don’t notice. You have the hots for my sister. That’s why you’re so pushy!”

    After those words leave his mouth, I feel myself blushing madly. Yeah, he is right. I’ve had an infatuation for Dove for a year now. She’s two years younger than us, so when I met her, I thought she was this little girl I could develop a brotherly bond for. But in time, I realized that I was falling in love with her. As she grew up and matured, I could see myself with her. Her body blossomed, and her features became perfect.

    And she was so smart and sweet and funny. I had fallen in love with the girl next door, who turned out to be my best friend’s sister. I think that troupe is on the cliché book, somewhere.

    I pretend to cough. “Not true.”

    “Course you don’t,” Robin laughs. “You know I don’t mind, right? I mean, if another guy our class was lusting after my younger sister, I would probably go berserk and beat them to a pulp. But you’re you. I trust you.”

    I can’t help but smile a bit. “Thank you, Rob.”

    There is something I can’t deny.

    Robin and Dove Bailey are the people I love the most in this world.

    Many guys my age can’t say such a thing. Many of them don’t know what to do with their college careers, or after Graduation. Hell, some can’t even tell what they want for breakfast. But if someone was to ask me who are the people I love the most were, I could answer this without hesitation. It’s not my parents or my favorite cousins.

    It’s Robin and Dove. No brainer.

    I’d do anything for them. I love them to death.

    “Well,” I say after a good solemn silence. “Get dressed already, damn it! In fact, take a shower! You stink dude, seriously.”

    Robin rolls his eyes and starts undressing in front of me.

    We’ve seen each other naked plenty of times. I was raised with this ideal that men shouldn’t shy their privates from other men. It took Robin a bit to get used to this openness and trust, but eventually he got used to me seeing him without underwear. I mean, it’s not weird. We’re both boys, so that’s totally fine.

    As he got stark naked, he grabbed a towel and kicked his clothes to the dirty clothes basket. He entered the bathroom, sticking his tongue to me like a little kid before closing the door.

    I sat on his bed, a small smirk on my face.

    Robin really is my best friend.

    Chapter Two

    “Are you seriously not going to comb your hair or anything?”

    I ask Robin as he puts a forkful of scramble eggs into his mouth and starts chewing. With a full mouth, he just shakes his head. Then he speaks without really swallowing. “I’m not the one who wants to woo her. I already live with her.”

    I roll my eyes in defeat.

    Robin has, as usual, let his messy hair wild, still a bit damp from his shower. He cleaned up nicely, wearing some brown jeans and a green shirt for his sister’s ceremony. But his hair is still inappropriately messy. Doesn’t matter what any of us says, though, he loves parading around with those red locks pointing everywhere. Not that it really matters at all.

    He may not have my swag, but he does look amazing.

    I’m the strong muscular guy at school. I’m slender but I have very well built muscles that every girl is lusting after, and every guy wants to have. As a result of years of swimming, I have an amazing body. And I don’t want to brag, but I really am handsome. My cheekbones and jaw structure, plus my haircut, makes me look really good. I’ve never had problems with esteem because I’ve always been quite a handsome. Yes, it does make me a bit vain and drives me to wear cool clothes.

    Robin, however, is always wearing the first thing he finds on his closet. His hair is always messy, and he’s nowhere as muscular as me. He is slim. Not skinny at all, but he does not have the muscles I do, or the strong features. But he has a babyish face that everyone loves, and his clear green eyes are full of brightness. Robin is really good looking too, and everyone loves that.

    I’m slightly taller than him, but Robin is quite tall himself.

    Many people are still trying to warp their head about us. About our friendship.
    I mean, I am the swim team guy who loves to wear cool clothes and parade in school as if I own it. I’m not a bullying jock, no, I’m a good person. But I like to get attention. I like to go on parties, get drunk and do stupid shit. Not because I want to start a scene, but because I really do enjoy it. I’m quite extrovert.

    Robin, on the other hand, is the opposite. He never gets in trouble, is always reading or listening to music, walking on the hallways with a low-profile. He is friendly, and is always funny, but he also likes to keep to himself. He’s a good team player, but also likes to let me take leadership. He’s an introvert.

    So many people are always raising their eyebrows about how we can be best friends, being so different.

    How can I ever explain to them?

    Robin and I have so much in common. We’re both Potterheads who have read all eight books of Harry Potter (plus Fantastic Beasts), watched all films straight in marathon, and also dress up like dementors on Halloween. Robin and I share a love for bad romantic comedy movies, and we read comics a lot. He’s a DC fan though, while I prefer Marvel. But it always leads to friendly debates.
    Robin is the guy who I’ve gone to the beach with, or camping. Shared the best moments, and the worst.

    Yeah, at first it was hard to find a common ground, but in time we came to love one another. He’s the guy who took me to a hard rock concert even though I like pop. I’m the guy who forced him to try out for the soccer team even if he hates it. We always push the other to be better, and that’s what it is all about.

    And I’m the first one he came out to.

    As I watch him devour his breakfast, I eat slowly mine and I think about that time, last year, when he told me he considered himself bisexual.

    I knew he was hiding something back then. Whenever people asked him when he’d get a girlfriend, he would get nervous and avoid the questions. No one really noticed or cared but me. When I confronted him about it, he looked down and his eyes teared up.

    He told me he had a crush on Chris Lakes, another guy at school.

    I was dumbstruck, and he started shaking. He confessed that he liked girls, but he also liked guys and it’s always been the case. He turned around to run away, but I just grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a hug.

    I told him the truth. I didn’t care.

    He could be bisexual or gay or whatever and I’d still love him.

    His family was raised with a very Catholic upbringing, and he was scared to tell them. But I supported him, and encouraged him. We both knew deep down that his parents were crazy about him, and they’d love him no matter what.

    One week later, he came out to them, and they were super supportive. They were shocked, but they were cool. It took them a while to get used to the idea of their son liking guys, or they idea that there was a possibility he could marry another man.

    But in time, they were alright with it.

    That night, Robin came over and told me that he couldn’t have done it without me. He pulled me into a bone crushing hug and told me how I was the most amazing person on the planet. I just told him one thing in return.

    “No, I’m not the most amazing person on the planet. You are.”

    That’s how our friendship is.

    I never take the time to explain that to anyone. I couldn’t. All I know is that even if were do look like we belong to different worlds, this huge sensitive and emotional dork is my best friend.
    Nothing will ever change that.

    “Hey boys,” says Mrs. Bailey as she picks up her purse. “I think we should get going. Parking is going to be full and I definitely want the best seats!”

    Robin stands up and puts his plates on the dishwasher. “Yeah, we should get going.”

    I look at them with a smile. “I’ll drive if you want.”

    Mrs. Bailey nods with a smile. “That would be good, Carter.”

    Robin pales, however. “No, Mom! He’s going to kill us! He always thinks he’s Toretto in a Fast & Furious movie!”

    “Shut up, dork,” I say with a laugh.

    Then we go out to the car, ready to find Dove and see her receive the award.


    “I am so proud of you, little sister!”

    Robin says with a huge grin as he embraces Dove with such affection. I smile fondly at that, seeing that redhaired girl hold her diploma with her small, delicate hands. I can’t help but feel such a surge of pride myself, because I was one of the people who helped her achieve that. Robin, Dove and I would spend hours researching and helping her craft her paper that won her this distinction. It was a collective effort, she is the face of it.

    Dove kisses Robin in the cheek. “I couldn’t have done it without you two.”

    Then she turns to me with a smile that turns me into goo. He long hair is loose, dressed so nicely as she looks at me with a huge smile. She is wearing a black skirt, a white dress shirt and a black jacket that matches. Her make up is just perfect. I think my heart skipped a couple of beats, maybe more than just a couple.

    “Thank you too, Carter,” says Dove with a smile as she hugs me.

    I hug her back, and for some reason, I don’t want to let go as I inhale her scent. Her perfume is so sweet and nice, and I know she’s so great.

    Dove was always a very smart girl. She was the most clever and mature girl. Even when she was nine, she was always ahead of other girls. And she never really took into dresses and dolls so much, she was more focused in learning stuff about the world. By the time she was thirteen, she had excelled in school and made an amazing article about terrorism in Europe, and how we should not generalize and condemn all Muslim communities just because a couple were extremists.

    By fourteen, she was volunteering for organizations that helped Muslims victims of hate crime, black people who were victims of racism, and other minorities and misunderstood communities. And then, last year, after Robin came out, she was all about LGBT rights. She was the first one to tell her brother that he was perfect the way he was.

    So yeah, no surprise that now that she’s sixteen, she’s in the United Nations model, won an award on it, and set on a career on politics and International Relations.

    “Okay, so, what are we going to do to celebrate?” asks Mr. Bailey as he puts hand over his daughter’s shoulders. “I was thinking we could go to that restaurant you love, right, Dove?”

    Dove smiles at her father. “Thanks Dad, it would be great.”

    As we all walked to the car, I could feel Robin pull me from the arm with a complete doofus smirk.
    “You are so in love with her,” he says with a snicker. “You’re so obvious, man.”

    I could feel my face blushing. He’s right. I’m not doing a great job concealing my crush. “Well, at least her big brother is not going to give me a hard time.”

    “I don’t know,” says Robin with a grin. “I think her big brother is starting to reconsider.”

    With a laugh, I feel Robin put an arm around my shoulder, walking in a half hug.

    That’s Robin, always seeking for physical contact and affection. He’s always been like that. He’s always craving for hugs or pats in the back and shoulder. He so touchy-feely. I myself had never been like that, I always liked to keep distance, but I always make an exception for him.

    He’s him.

    “And then I told the Delegate of Venezuela, “you’re either very unintelligent or very evil if you think Nicholas Maduro’s regime is not a dictatorship that stomps over human rights”,” says Dove as she tells us about the last debate. She speaks so confident and so proud of herself, and I know that she’s always a fierce warrior when it comes to defending her point of view.

    As we continue eating, I keep looking at Dove with a smile.

    Yeah, I’m that obvious.

    As we continued the chat, Dove would lean forward to me. “It was quite a victory, but I owe much of to you, Carter.”

    I can’t help but smile. “Always happy to help.”

    “You know, I think I’m ready for a grown up life,” says Dove as she winks at me. “I know I still have two years of high school left, but for some reason, all this experience with global affairs has made me eager to face the world.”

    I grab my glass of lemonade and hold it up. “To growing up.”

    “To growing up,” she says as she grabs her own piña colada and clanks her glass with mine. “To a bright adult life full of adventure.”

    As we smile at each other, I hear Robin clear his throat.

    We both turn to him, and I can see some sense of discomfort on my best friend’s face. It is a small, almost unnoticeable scowl that would have been amiss by anyone who don’t know him. But I know Robin very well, and I can see there is something weird going on with him.

    “I’m going to take some fresh air,” says Robin suddenly, his face full of a mixture of awkwardness and discomfort. “It’s very stuffy in here.”

    Without saying much, Robin pulls his chair back and stands up, putting his serviette in the table and walking out of the restaurant before the main course has even been served.

    We all look at him surprised.

    “Okay, that was weird,” says Dove with concern as she watches her older brother walk away. “Is it wrong to say I’m worried?”

    Mrs. Bailey looks down, with concern all written in her face. “I’ve talked to his therapist, Dr. Jones, and he says Robin seems to be doing mostly fine. But clearly something is still off.”

    Mr. Bailey remains silent, but his face tells us he’s concerned as well.

    Me? I just see my best friend walk away.

    Around one year ago, Robin said he wanted to see a therapist. He said that he needed some professional help, because he’s been having issues. At first we all thought it was his sexuality and coming to terms with it. His parents were understanding and paid for the therapist, and Robin has a session twice a month.

    I actually recommended my dad, but Robin said it would be weird to tell his secrets to his best friend’s dad. Quite logical. So my dad recommended a close friend of his.

    Yet, despite the fact that Robin is cheerful and funny most times, there are some instances where he acts weird.

    For example, I would invite him over whenever his family had some things to do out of town and left him the house, but Robin would decline and say he wanted to stay home alone. Sometimes he would even pretend to be sick just to get some time for himself. We all know he’s been lying and hiding something, but none of us have the slightest clue of what that could be.

    We thought he was having identity issues because he is still figuring out his major, or that he’s still struggling with being bisexual and being out.

    But we all know there is something else.

    “It’s like he’s always holding his breath,” says Dove with a sad tone of voice. “It’s like sometimes he’s having trouble breathing.”

    I nod. And it kills me.

    My best friend is being burdened by something.

    Something so personal and private that he refuses to share with anyone, not even me.

    And all I want to do is help him.

    How do I do that?

    Chapter Three

    “Are you sure you’re okay, baby?”

    Mom says with such a tender voice, and the way she calls me “baby” kills me. Because she doesn’t know how accurate she is to my deepest desires. She doesn’t know how that pet name strikes so many weird feelings on my heart and sets my mind on a ramble. She’s always so tender with me, more than Dove, and it always makes me feel fidgety and anxious and very out of my mind. It’s super weird.

    I nod with a smile. “Yeah, Mom. I’m alright. I slept very late last night, I think I’ll hit the hay early today.”

    Mom nods, but says nothing more before leaning forward and placing a small kiss on my forehead. That’s my mother. Always so full of love and tenderness even when she’s a badass and a very strong woman. She always has time to shower her children with affection, love, and to make sure they are alright.

    But I’m not alright.

    I know everyone is worried about me. I act strange sometimes. I keep hiding such a big part of myself, it’s driving me crazy. I can’t breathe properly, not in a literal way, but in a very figurative and bothersome way. Have you ever had such a burden in your shoulders you can’t be yourself? Have you ever felt that being truthful to your own person could bring shame to yourself and to others that are close to you?

    I feel like that, every single day.

    And that’s because there is something big that I’ve been keeping secret. There is some side of myself that no one in my life knows, because if they did, they would be disgraced and I would be thought of as a creep. There is a side of myself that pressures my chest so much, so strong, that I sometimes I feel like I’m out of air.

    I get short of breath.

    Once Mom is out of my way, leaving me in my room for the rest of the night, I lock the door. I really, really don’t want anyone to come in. Not now. Not for the rest of the night. I just want to have a chance to unwind and be myself, even if I have to hide behind the four walls that are my room. Even if I have to shy away from the world.

    Slowly, I unbutton my shirt and throw it aside, and then I slowly unbutton my pants and remove them. I throw all those clothes aside, standing just in my underwear. I didn’t even realize how constricted I felt with those clothes. Grown up clothes, definitely not a fan.

    Trying to be a silent as I can, wearing only my underwear, I quickly open my drawer and remove it, revealing a secret compartment that I discovered not long ago. Well, not quite a secret compartment, more like a hole where I can hide things and no one would see them or even look for them.

    With my heart thumping, with my anxiousness rising, I put my hand inside my “secret compartment” and grab something. A plastic and cushioned item that is so soft on my hand, so puffy and with a power to be comforting even in my hands.

    I take it out and put it next to me as I fix the drawer.

    With closed eyes and a beating heartbeat, I look at the item I just snatched from it’s secret lair.

    An adult diaper.
    Yeah, right.

    Why would an eighteen year old be wearing diapers? Why would he be hiding them from his family and everyone?

    Does he have bedwetting issues?


    The answer is simple, and yet, at the same time, is so fucking complex that no one has really been able to understand the true nature.

    I like wearing diapers.

    That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, eighteen year old Robin Bailey likes to wear diapers. And that’s not even the tip of the iceberg.

    I like to pretend I’m a baby.

    Yes, it’s getting crazier by the minute, isn’t it?

    I guess I can’t really explain when this all began. It’s been etched on my mind as far as I can remember. In fact, all I know is that even in my earliest memories, all I ever wanted was to wear diapers and be a baby. I remember it vividly. I think my earliest memory was when I was five years old or something like that.

    All my cousins were so eager to be big boys. They wanted to play cars and superheroes, they liked to play ball and stuff like that. Me? I always liked playing House with my girl cousins. I always liked to be the baby. I guess that’s the earliest evidence of my desires. A five year old that wants to be diapered and babied still should be just a small phase, something they’d outgrow in short time and embrace their big boy-ness.

    But it didn’t go away.

    As I was growing up, from kindergarten to grade school, I would always be fantasizing of being diapered and babied.

    I always managed to put those thoughts to the back of my mind, though. I managed to keep them at bay, and sometimes I’d even forget my desires. But when I turned fourteen, they returned with such a strong force. And that’s when I realized that something was definitely wrong with me. Something was off, something wasn’t right.

    I was fourteen, I shouldn’t feel like this.

    But I did.

    I tried to make sense of it. I asked my parents, with subtlety, about my babyhood. But it seems that nothing was out of the ordinary. I was potty trained at a normal age, and I was always a pretty common and regular baby who was raised properly. So it did not made sense on why I would feel like this. There was no evidence of this.

    I mean, I still sucked my thumb and slept with Rhino.

    My parents tried to get me off my thumb and my plushy, but they realized that there were far worse things in the world so they just let me be. Maybe it was my thumbsucking that slowly drove me to feel like this. Truth is, I don’t know. But even though I get physical pleasure sucking my thumb, in time I started to feel also some sort of emotional and mental peace.

    Babies sucked their thumbs. I sucked my thumb. Therefore, I was a baby.

    That idea gave me peace.

    But it also freaked me out.

    Of course, by the time I was fifteen, I Googled it. I mean, maybe the Internet had some answers. Maybe it could tell me what was so wrong with me. Maybe it had the answer to fix me so I could feel like a normal person.

    But what I found was so much more.

    I stumbled into forums, websites, blogs. I found myself facing a whole community of people who feel the same way I did. I found myself with a world that’s been under our nose all the time and no one really noticed.

    There were people all ages, male and female, gay and straight, all nationalities and cultures that had the same desires as me.

    The Adult Baby / Diaper Lover community.

    Suddenly I had a label. I was an Adult Baby. It all made so much sense after reading some stories online, after learning there were so many people who understood me. I felt so much relief, because I knew right then that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only weirdo who wanted to regress to babyhood and wear diapers.

    They were all different too.

    Some liked to pretend they were toddlers, others wanted to be babies, others liked to pretend they were little kids. Some liked to just wet their diapers, others weren’t bothered by the idea of pooping in them. Some didn’t even use them at all. Some liked to be babied by others, some did it by themselves in privacy. I was stunned by the diversity. Even in my weirdness, there were a lot of degrees to that weirdness.

    After that, when I was sixteen, I got the courage to go to the store and buy some diapers.
    I was panicking when I first went to the register, carrying a bag of adult diapers. I thought it was evident they were for me, but I came to realize no one really cared. Paid them and rushed home after making sure no one was home.

    The first time I put on a diaper, I seriously felt so much relief I wanted to cry. It was like my deepest burning long time desire was being fulfilled.

    Wearing diapers definitely made me happy.

    Okay, so, let’s fast forward to this moment.

    I quickly turn to my doorknob to make sure the lock is on. I close the drawer and quickly remove my underwear. I throw my boxers into the basket and grab a bottle of baby powder I keep on my nightstand. I told my parents I get prickly heat, so they think I use the powder to deal with mild heat rashes.

    I lay the diaper over my bed and then drop my butt on it.

    Leaning back, I quickly sprinkle baby powder generously over my privates. It feels heavenly, the powder is so cool and refreshing against my skin. Its scent fills my nose and it brings me back in time, makes me feel truly like a baby who is getting changed. I close my eyes for a moment and relish on the scent for a couple of seconds.

    Finally, I pull the diaper’s front above my privates, and start taping the sides.

    I make sure the diaper is properly taped, snug against my legs. It feels awesome. I sit up and feel the puffy undergarment hug my lower body and it’s so beautiful. These diapers are called Abena M4. I got them at a special pharmacy, and they are super thick and puffy, and they really make me feel like a baby. They crinkle a bit, but I don’t think my family can hear them.

    I quickly put my pajama pants over my diaper.

    I walk into my bathroom and brush my teeth, feeling the protection of my diaper all the time. Finally, I slid into the covers of my bed and hug Rhino.

    Maybe I don’t get the chance to be a baby, but this is the closest I’ll ever be, so I enjoy it. I value it. I don’t take it for granted.

    Feeling the thickness of my diaper, I pull Rhino closer to my chest and snuggle it with so much love. He’s the only one who knows about this. He accepts me. With a sigh, I put my thumb into my mouth and ball my fist.

    I start sucking my thumb, hugging my plushy, wearing my diaper.

    Before I know it, I’m fast asleep.

    The next morning, I can hear the chirping sound of birds singing their song to the world.

    The sunlight pools though my curtains, letting me know it is a new day.

    My eyes slowly flutter open, and I feel my senses start to regain some power. I am so comfortable in bed, wearing my diaper, sucking my thumb, being a fraction of the baby I want to be. I makes me smile because I am so happy right now. Even if I scarcely get these moments, they are enough to replenish my energy.

    I quickly stretch, and the first thing that I feel is the pressure on my bladder.

    I need to pee. Like every morning.

    Of course, any normal person would get up and use the toilet. But I am wearing a diaper, and I enjoy feeling this. I close my eyes and try to relax my bladder for release. Many people would think pissing themselves is disgusting, and yeah, if I was wearing pants it would be hassle to deal with.

    But I’m a baby, right now, this morning. And babies wet their diapers.

    Before I know it, I feel myself peeing. I feel the warmth of it spreading within my diaper, from my crotch to my butt. I feel my diaper getting soggy and squishy, but it will definitely hold. I can’t help but grin madly as I feel the heaviness of my wet diaper. It’s comforting. It’s awesome.

    I am a baby.

    I lay in bed again, pulling my thumb into my mouth again and relishing on this feeling.

    Maybe I’m weird. Maybe I’m crazy. But right now, I feel at peace.

    I feel more myself than ever.
    Last edited by kik91; 07-06-2018, 03:35 PM.

    Hi guys! I haven't really gotten much feedback, but here are the next two chapters so I hope they are good enough to encourage you to leave a comment!!

    I'll post another one (or two) on Sunday!!

    Chapter Four

    RICHIE: Hey there kiddo!

    I smile as I see my screen lit up with the message from Richie. It’s quite early but I know he always likes to wake up by dawn. Usually I like to sleep in, but I want to enjoy my few hours with a wet diaper on, so I take advantage of what I can. I can always count ton Richie to be online when I need him, because I know he is an interwebs addict who can’t live without a good chat app or Facebook.

    I type back.

    ME: Hey there Richie! How are you doing?

    RICHIE: I’m great. I mean, I’m a bit smelly tho. Messy diapers can get quite stinky!

    I roll my eyes, but smile.

    ME: I wouldn’t know! I’ve never pooped my diapers. I’ve been curious about it, tho. But I don’t think I can do it without getting caught!

    It’s true. I’ve always been curious about messing my diapers. Yeah, it sounds utterly disgusting, but I think it would immerse me into the baby role. I would like to try it at least once, but hiding that would be really risky. I could get caught or something. So I may have to wait a long time before I get to try that aspect of the Adult Baby life.

    RICHIE: Yeah, I understand. I’m getting changed soon myself. Don’t want to stink up the room. My brother would kill me if he comes into the room and it smells that bad!

    I can’t help but chuckle.

    ME: Yeah, Henry would totally flip!

    Richie has been my closest ABDL (acronym for Adult Baby / Diaper Lover) friend. After I got the courage to create a username and join a support forum, I met him. I’ve met many online friends, but Richie has been the kindest and friendliest one. We haven’t met face to face, he lives on this country but another state, but we have talked through the phone and even had some videocalls. And surprisingly enough, he has red hair like me!

    Richie and I connected quite well, and he’s been amazing in helping me not feel so alone.

    He’s told me his story, and he says he hasn’t shared that with many others. Richie has, like me, liked this for as long as he can remember. He’s twenty-two now, but when he was in high school, he had enough of it and told his twin brother, Henry. Although Henry’s reaction was startling at first, and Richie panicked, his brother eventually accepted him for who he was. And as time passed by, their twin bond was strong enough that Henry would baby Richie on certain occasions, and would of course encourage him to be himself.

    Richie made a lot of breakthroughs, and he’s told me he’s never been happier. He has a chance to be himself, wear diapers whenever he wants and be as infantile as he can be.

    Not many Adult Babies get that. Many are shunned and shamed for life by those who find out. Even their families. But Richie did great.

    I am so jealous.

    Then he sends a message.

    RICHIE: Seriously dude, how are you?

    ME: I’m wet. Diaper is soggy. Haha.

    I know that’s not the question he’s asking, but sometimes I feel conflicted with so many things I can’t even answer the most basic questions.

    RICHIE: Robin, I mean it. I’m happy you’re enjoying yourself right now but the other day you told me you’re still feeling sad and bad with yourself. Can I help you with something?

    He’s right, and I sigh loudly.

    ME: I don’t know, Richie. I’m just so scared. You know I’ve been seeing this therapist for a year now, right? I still haven’t brought myself to tell him about this! The idea of admitting this to anyone terrifies me. But at the same time… I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Scared and alone.

    Writing those words is therapeutic, but not enough.

    He replies.

    RICHIE: Robin, I felt the exact same way. But when I told Henry, I felt like the world was going to be better. And now look at me! I have my twin brother changing my diapers and playing with me! I’m not saying that will happen to you, but for what you’ve told me, your family is pretty cool. I think they wouldn’t react too badly. And you also have you best friend. You say you two are very close, right? Look, you need to give yourself the chance to be happy. You deserve it, dude.

    I nod, even though he can’t see me. He’s speaking the truth, but I’m still scared.

    ME: I know, Richie. I’ll think about it. It’s just so hard. But thank you. You’re always here to make me feel less weird.

    RICHIE: Hugs, my friend! Look, I have to go, I really need to change out of this messy diaper. TTYL, kay?

    I grin.

    ME: Yeah, sure! Go change, Stinkybutt, I can smell you all the way here!

    RICHIE: I’m a baby. That’s what babies do! Bye 😉

    Once he goes offline, all I can think about is if I’ll ever be brave enough to plunge myself into a new world. I know there are many people like me who live with this secret, and they’re comfortable that way. They go on with their lives, just indulging their baby side in private. They do it that way and they are comfortable and happy.

    But I’m not.

    I want the people I love to know who I truly am. I want to be loved by who I am, one hundred percent acceptance. I want to be free to be myself.

    But I’m so scared, because if I let people know… I don’t know how they would react. How their views of me would change.

    How everything would change.

    With a loud sigh, I look at Rhino. My plushy is looking at me with its glassy plastic eyes. I pick it up and hug it with tenderness, still feeling the warm and squishy diaper between my legs. I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to be open about this side of me. What would my parents think? What would my sister think? What would Carter think?

    Would they still love me even if I was like this?

    Who am I kidding? They would be so embarrassed! They would be ashamed to be associated with such a weirdo like me.

    They deserve better than to be related or associated with a freak like me.

    And I thought that coming out as bisexual was tough.

    I think about that. If I ever get a girlfriend or a boyfriend, would they want to stay with me once they found out about this? Would someone ever want to date a big baby like me? How would that even work?

    If they did accept it, would I get to be the baby I want to be? Would my partner set up a whole nursery for me, keep me in diapers and baby me all the time? I know that’s threading on fantasy territory, and deep down I think I wouldn’t really enjoy being treated like a baby all the time. I still like to be an adult, I still have many grown up ambitions.

    But still, it’s all so confusing!

    With another deep breath, I lay down in my bed and cuddle Rhino.

    I sniff a little. My wet diaper is starting to smell a little, so I might have to dispose of it soon. But right now, all I want to do is enjoy this. I feel safe here, with Rhino, in my bed, wearing a very wet diaper.

    Even if it’s just a minute, I feel safe.


    I creep down the stairs, I can hear my mom, my dad and my sister having breakfast already at the kitchen table. I expect to join them soon, but first things first. I quickly carry the trash bag that has my wet diaper and walk outside, to put it in the trash container. Disposing diapers is never a hassle for me, fortunately. I’ve gotten used to it, and I’ve lost all worry I would get caught or anything like that.

    I wish I could have enjoyed my diaper longer, though.

    But it’s okay, I still have like five on my hiding place and I’ll get to wear them as soon as I get the chance. All that matters now is that I have a good day ahead of me. All that matters now is that even though I’m keeping such a big part of myself a secret, I have great grades, I am graduating soon and I have great family and friends.

    My life is okay. I really can’t complain.

    “Hey Rob!”

    I blink as I throw my diaper into the trash, and once I close the lid, I turn back to see Carter with a smile. His always goofy and comforting smile that can always ease me. I smile back at him, because I am always so happy to see him.


    We’ve been best friend since we were eleven. He’s the first person outside of my family I told I sucked my thumb and slept with Rhino. He’s been there in my best moments, and also my worst. He’s the first person I told I was bisexual, and the one who encouraged me to tell my family and come out of the closet.

    I can’t even tell the number of times I’ve wanted to tell him about my baby side.

    I would always try to start the conversation, but would never be able to. I am so scared of what he’d think. He was cool with my sexuality, but that’s not the same as digesting the idea that your best friend is a big baby and likes to wear diapers. Having a bisexual best friend is not the same as having an Adult Baby best friend.

    Would he think I’m pathetic?

    I don’t know, but seeing him smile at me like that can brighten any day for me.

    “Hey buddy,” I say with a smile as I walk to him and we do our secret handshake. “It’s Saturday! What are we going to do today?”

    He speaks with a deep voice. “The same thing we try to do every day, Pinky, try to take over the world!”

    I can’t help but laugh at that.

    He smirks. He loves it he always makes me laugh. He’s probably the only person in the world who can make me laugh like this. Finally, he speaks. “No, seriously now, Sammy wants us to go over her place. She invited Marcus, Joey and Lauren too. Just a friendly hanging out. Playing pool, drinking a couple of beers, you know…”

    I nod. “Yeah, sounds fun! I always love hanging out with you guys!”

    He smiles. I have a lot of friends, and I know Carter and Sammy are quite close too. They dated for a while, in fact. I think it was in freshman year when they tried to be a couple. I know it took them four months to realize they didn’t really saw each other that way at all. They’re always been friends, so they decided to end their romantic relationship and stay as friends.

    Plus, right now Carter is taken with my sister. Which I think is weird, but somewhat cool.

    As Carter and I walk next to each other towards the house, I feel a sudden impulse.

    Carter Blake is my best friend. I should feel comfortable with telling him about me. I should trust him enough to tell him about my baby side.

    But I’m too scared. Why can’t I be brave?

    “Hey, buddy, everything okay?” he asks, looking at me concerned. “You kind of zoned out.”

    I just nod, and before I can stop myself, I hug him. I don’t know why, I know I’m always touching him, seeking for his embrace, but never like this.

    I have to admit it to myself. I am scared shitless that me being me will cause me to lose my best friend.

    Losing Carter would kill me.

    “What is this about?” he says to my ear as he slowly hugs me back. “Seriously, Rob, what’s going on?”

    I pull away and shake my head, giving him an uneasy smile. “Everything cool, I just needed a hug. You know me.”

    He nods, but he doesn’t look quite convinced. I look away and open the door before he can interrogate or pry further.

    My worst fear in life is losing Carter Blake. That is certain.

    Chapter Five

    Okay, this is super strange. A first, definitely.

    Robin is getting drunk. Correction, he is already drunk. To the point of wasted.

    Never in my life I thought I’d get to see Robin Bailey get drunk. He’s always had just a beer when we hang out, two at the most. But ever since we got to Sammy’s place, he asked to get a beer. Of course, by the time he was on the third, I was getting worried. He looks like he’s having fun, though, so maybe it is not that bad. He has low resistance to alcohol, so I’m not surprised that by his fourth drink he’s getting tipsy.

    We’ve been playing pool, and watching some football match on the background. Lauren and Marcus are chatting happily, they always get the ball rolling fine. Joey, on the other hand, looks quite amused as Robin is starting to blabber and slur his words. I mean, it is kind of funny. He’s laughing about just anything.

    “Wow,” says Sammy as she walks next to me, her brunette hair tied down and her brown eyes looking at me. “Robin seems to be trying something new.”

    I nod, looking at my best friend giggling like a child. “Yeah, something’s odd though. He’s been acting strange lately.”

    “Oh good,” says Sammy with a sigh. “I’m glad I’m not crazy. Yeah, I noticed that too. Sometimes he seems like himself, but other times, he is so… un-Robin-like?”

    “No kidding,” I say as I look at her, taking a sip of my own Heineken. “At first we thought it was his coming out, but I think there is something more. Something deeper.”

    “Maybe he’s transgender,” says Sammy.

    I swear I felt the alcohol go to the wrong pipe as I hear that. I basically snort, beer pouring out of my nostrils and I cough violently. I swear I felt like I couldn’t breathe for a solid minute, as I felt the burning sensation of the liquid on my nose and the back of my throat. Sammy looks at me like she’s wondering if she should laugh or get help.

    After I manage to compose myself, I look at her. “Transgender? Robin?”

    Sammy shakes her head and chuckles. “I was just kidding, Carter. Geez…”

    I shake my head, wiping my face with my sleeve.

    I am not transphobic or anything, but the idea of Robin being that would change everything I ever knew about him. But I know that is not it. He’s not girly, or ever complained about his body, and he definitely enjoys manly activities like jerking off. We talk about that sometimes. So, he’s definitely not transgender. But he is keeping as secret, and he’s terrified to let me know.

    “Whatever it is, I’m kinda hurt,” I admit to Sammy, with a frown. “He’s my best friend, he should trust me to tell me whatever he feels is bothering him.”

    Sammy frowns, and I feel a bit guilty. I speak again as I notice her look. “Sorry.”

    “Oh, Carter, no, don’t,” says Sammy quickly, cutting me off. “I made peace with the fact that I’m not your best friend anymore. Yeah, I was madly jealous when Robin came and took that title from me. But then we dated and it didn’t work out and then, well, it made me think that even if we’re not best friends, we’ll always have each other’s backs.”

    I nod with a smile, pulling her closer to me. “You were my first friend. Ever. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. You will always be special to me. But Robin and I click in a weird way. And it kills me that he doesn’t want to open up, specially to me.”

    “Look,” says Sammy as she leans her head on my shoulder. “Everybody who knows you have seen it. You and Robin have a very unique bond. Even among best friends, you are special. If someone can make Robin feel better about whatever he’s keeping, it is you.”

    I nod, and then, we head towards the couch where Robin is chatting with Joey.

    As we sit next to them, Joey is laughing his ass off.

    “Hey Carter, why is the sky blue?” asks Robin in a slurring voice, looking way beyond drunk. “Why can’t it be green? I like green.”

    I snicker, but take the beer from his hand and pull it away. “Alright, Rob, I think you’ve had one too many of these.”

    “Hmm…” he mumbles and nods. “But the sky! Why can’t it be green? Green is fun!”

    Sammy can’t help but laugh. “Oh my God. I shall record this and upload it to YouTube.”

    “Don’t,” I command, but the grin doesn’t leave my face. He is pretty funny.

    Robin looks at me and then he does something that surprises us all. He leans forward and snuggles against my chest, resting his head on my shoulder. “Carter, I love you. You’re my best friend. If you were gay I’d date you.”

    Joey snorts into mad laugher. “Oh God, this dude is hilarious!”

    I smile warmly. I put an arm around him, not really caring if the others think it’s weird. I’m not gay, but I love Robin. “Yeah, I know buddy, but I think we should get you home.”

    “Tell me a bedtime story,” says Robin, snuggling deeper into my chest. “I want my bedtime story!”
    Everyone in the room breaks into mad laugher, including me.

    “Okay,” I say between stiffed laughs. “I’m getting you home, Rob.”

    With that, I push him off me and help him stand up so I can drag his drunken body. Good enough we live very close by, so I think he can make it walking. I’ve never seen him like this, and despite the fact that it is hilarious, it also worries me.

    “I need to pee,” he says drunkenly.

    “Okay, I’ll take you to the bathroom,” I say with a sigh. I’ve never been good at taking care of drunk people. “I don’t want you to piss your pants on the way.”

    “Hmm-hmm,” he mumbles.

    With Marcus’ help, we manage to get him to the bathroom.

    Man, this is so new.


    Okay, so walking home was a complete Greek epic.

    I had to carry his wasted body half the way, but I managed to get him to my house. He was trying to escape, and I swear he wanted to chase a squirrel we saw past a tree. Drunk Robin is a very weird person. I laughed though, because this is not something you get to see every day. And I’m happy I was there to see it. He’s never gotten drunk, so I can’t imagine the motherfucking hangover he’ll have tomorrow.

    Finally we arrive to my house, a little past ten, the night chill making itself known. I say hi to my parents real quick before dragging Robin to my room. I am glad my parents didn’t ask anything and just rolled their eyes as they saw me drag my best friend to the room. They know we’re teenagers and this stuff happens at our age. Cool Psychologist Dad and Cool Lawyer Mom. Yeah, they’re cool.

    In the end, I drop Robin on my bed and take a deep breath after getting his heavy body of me. “Man, you’re heavy.”

    “Hmm,” he groans, fixing himself on the side of the bed. “I’m tired. Head spinning.”

    I nod. “That’s what you get from drinking like that. Let me take off your pants and you can sleep.”

    Having said that, I quickly unbutton his jeans and start pulling them off. He does his best to help me, but kicking his legs like that did not help. At all. I know how uncomfortable is sleeping with jeans. And as sexual and awkward as taking his pants off might look to others, it’s kinda nice to know he trusts me that much.

    If only he could trust me with his secret.

    Once he’s on his underwear, he grabs a pillow and snuggles it.

    I take that chance to call Dove and tell her that her brother is sleeping over. She tells me that it is okay and that she’ll let her parents know. I am so grateful the Baileys trust me so much not to asks questions. It’s kind of nice actually. My parents don’t trust me as much as my neighbors, not that it matters but I guess it has a nice sense of closeness.

    I take off my shirt and put on my sleep pants before I lay next to Robin and shut the lights off. I’m tired myself.

    Laying next to him feels nice, except the smell of booze that comes from him.

    “Carter,” he begins, suddenly. “Can I give you a kiss?”

    I flinch a little, looking at him with a little weird look. Yeah, he’s still drunk. But drunk people are usually honest. And then a thought comes to my mind. A very weird idea I hadn’t considered at all, but would make some sense.

    Was Robin in love with me?

    However, I shake that thought quickly. Yes, Robin likes boys, but we’re best friends. While it might be possible he has some romantic feelings for me, I am pretty sure it’s not that. Right? Oh my God, I am so confused.

    Before I know it, Robin leans forward and kisses my cheek. “I love you so much Carter. You’re my bestie, my brother, my man, my partner, my buddy.”

    I smile, and nod. “I love you too, Robin. Now, get some sleep, you goof.”

    “But my bedtime story!” he whines. “I want my story!”

    I roll my eyes. He’s impossible. I know the only way to get him to shut up and make him sleep is to please him. “Okay, so, once upon a time there was…”

    I start reciting a very bad fairytale I once read on a children’s book. I don’t even know why I memorized the plot, but if it gets him to keep still, I’ll tell him a fucking bedtime story.

    As if this wasn’t weird enough.

    Not even one quarter of the tale, I find him snoring. I turn around and see him sucking his thumb, like a little kid. He also snuggles against me, pressing his body against me as if I was Rhino’s replacement for the night.

    I stop myself and lean my head against the pillow, feeling the weight of his head against my chest and his babyish thumb sucking gurgles fill the room.
    I guess I’m not surprised I’m smiling

    He is Robin. He is my best friend. And I love him.

    Yeah, it might be weird for two guys our age be like this. But it doesn’t matter. He’s drunk and I’m here to watch out for him. He needs love, and I’m here to give it to him.

    That’s how our friendship rolls.


      So, I bring you two new chapters!! These ones are the ones which start the real drama!! Enjoy

      Chapter Six

      Pounding headache.

      My head is killing me.

      That’s the first thing that comes into my senses, but despite the fact that my brain feels like it is about to explode, I feel quite comfortable. Warm. I suddenly find my eyes opening and a sweet smell of cologne hits my nose. I suddenly realize that my head is not on a pillow, because pillows don’t go up and down rhythmically. That’s when the reality of what is going on hits me with such force.

      I am on Carter’s bed, with my arms warped around his torso and my head resting against his chest. His hand is over my hair, and I’ve never been in this position before! Yes, we’ve shared bed a couple of times when we slept-over. But we’ve never outright snuggled like this! Oh my God, I have a hangover! I got drunk and I probably did a lot of stupid shit! How the hell did we end up like this?

      I quickly pull back, waking him as I feel my head about to explode, a huge pang on the back of my cerebellum that threatens to kill me.

      “Hey, slow down,” says Carter as he yawns, covering his mouth. “You’re hungover. That’s gotta hurt.”

      I blush deeply, because I’ve never been in this situation before. One when I forget what I did the previous night and wake up in the arms of my best friend. Before I can stop them, apologies blurt out of my mouth. “Carter, I’m so sorry!”

      “Naw, it’s okay, bro,” says Carter with a smile. “Yeah, you were a hassle, but it was funny.”

      I shut my eyes, trying to remember what exactly happened. I know that drunk people can be chatty, and I know they can say some thing that they might regret. Liquid courage. Oh my God! What if I was so drunk that I blurted out that I liked to wear diapers? That I liked to pretend I was a baby? God, what if I was so badly gone that I told everyone?

      “Carter,” I say with such a little voice, scared. “Did I… say something odd? Something weird? Please tell me.”

      He just shrugs as he sits up. “You said you wanted the sky to be green. Actually it was funny. But then I got you our of the mini-party and brought you here. You were almost passed out. You did manage to do some different things.”

      Different things. I shiver. “Like what?”

      “You were very clingy,” he says with a chuckle. “You said that if I was gay, you’d date me. You kissed me in the cheek and then asked for a bedtime story. It was cute, actually.”

      Part of me is relieved that I didn’t confess my deepest secret, and part of me is utterly embarrassed that I said that and kissed him like that and then asked for a bedtime story. I blush madly. “I’m sorry Carter. I swear I’ll never get drunk on you again!”

      Carter snorts and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Rob, it’s okay. To be honest… it was nice. I mean, having to drag your ass to bed was not. But you being all affectionate like that, well, I guess I enjoyed it.”

      He stays silent for a moment. Then he speaks again. “I love you, Rob.”

      Finally, my embarrassment starts to drown as I feel a fluttery feeling on my chest. I want to say something, but he beats me, again.

      He sits up in the bed and grabs both my shoulders, forcing me to see him to the eye. “Rob, I don’t know what’s going on with you. What made you feel like you had to get drunk or anything. But please, don’t doubt for a second that I love you, because I do. You’re my absolute most amazing best friend and I want you to know that if you have something you want to tell me, I’m here. I’ll always listen. And I’ll always be there.”

      I fill my heart fill with emotion.

      This is it. This is my chance. I can tell him. I can open up and confess my secret, and I know that he’ll be alright with it. But I’m so scared to mutter the words. Shit, why can’t I just say it? Why can’t I just tell Carter?

      I feel my chest tighten and my eyes fill with tears. Because I’m touched and because I’m angry with myself. Angry that I’m not brave enough to tell him.

      “I’m sorry,” I say with sniffles. “I’m… I’m not ready…”

      I wish he could be angry. I wish he could beat it out of me. But I know he doesn’t. Because he just pulls me into our millionth embrace and rubs my back. He nods. “I understand if you’re not ready to tell anyone, Rob. But I’m gonna be here when you are.”

      I nod, and I hold him.

      The question is… will I ever be ready?

      “Okay,” says Carter finally as we pull away. “I’m going to get you some Advil for the headache. Just lay down and relax. Then I’ll get you something to eat.”

      I can’t help but smile, finally. I look at him with sweet eyes and jokingly speak. “Fank you, Daddy.”

      He chuckles. “I’ll be right back.”

      With a smile, he leaves the room, and I start thinking.

      Damn, thinking hurts so bad.

      I just think about how badly I want Carter to know about my Adult Baby side. But I’m still so afraid of making things weird between us. I don’t want to make him feel pity on me, or embarrassed, or downright ashamed.

      He just told me he loved me, but is his love strong enough to put up with my weirdness?

      Carter and I were crossing the fence to get to my house.

      Boy, my parents will kill me when they find out I got wasted. Or maybe not. I don’t know, it’s a first for me so I really don’t know on what degree on the Trouble Scale I am. At least I didn’t drive drunk or anything, and Carter was there to make sure I didn’t do anything too stupid. I just wish I could remember, well, everything I did. If I made a fool of myself, at least I want to remember it so I can try not to do it again.

      As I approach the front door, I take out my key. I turn back at Carter. “Hey bro, thank you again… for looking out for me.”

      “Anytime, buddy,” says Carter with a smile, and we do our secret best friend handshake.

      Before I go inside my house, however, Carter stops me with his inquiring voice. “Hey, Rob?”

      “Yes?” I ask, looking back at him. He has a shy look on his face, which is weird and he never gets that. I’m confused.

      “Would it be alright with you if I ask Dove out?” he says timidly. “I know he’s your little sister, but I really like her. I know I shouldn’t ask for permission but it’s you so…”

      I mockingly fold my arms and puff out my chest. I speak with a deep voice. “What are you intentions with my sister, Mr. Blake?”

      Carter laughs. “All pure and innocent intentions, sir!”

      We both break into laugher, and I nod at him. “Of course you can ask Dove out, Carter! I trust no one else with her. But I really appreciate you asking.”

      He nods and he walks away, smiling brightly at the idea of asking Dove out.

      With a smile, I enter the house and take in a fresh breath of home. It smells like Mom’s air freshener she likes to keep in every room. It’s nice, I guess.

      However, I’m a bit surprised by the utter silence that reigns on the environment. Where is everyone?

      It’s Sunday afternoon, they should be back from Mass already.

      With a shrug, most to myself than any imaginary friend, I step up the stairs towards my room. I’m still a but hungover and I think a good nap would do me good. Plus, I miss Rhino. Poor guy must be feeling lonely without me. I snicker at that thought.

      I walk to my door and without any hesitation, I open it.

      I lift my head to see my bed, but then I halt in complete stop.

      The first thing I see are Mom, Dad and Dove in my room, looking at me. I don’t understand, but their gazes show concern, worry and alarm. A mixture of those three. I know them all too well to understand what each of their facial expressions mean. I start feeling a little bit nervous, the moment their eyes land on me.

      “Hey,” I say softly. “Look, I know. I got drunk. No biggie. Won’t happen again soon, I promise! And I didn’t drive or anything!”

      “Robin,” says Mom with a stern tone of voice. “It’s not that. It’s just… Dove and I were cleaning the house today, and we entered to clean some of your mess in here. And we were fixing the drawers and one of them snapped and…”

      She doesn’t need to say more.

      I feel nauseous.

      Seriously, I feel like my heart is beating madly. It might burst. Fuck, I’m sweating so badly, the blood is leaving my face and with it, all color. My hands are shaking like a mad Parkinson case with no cure.

      I can’t speak, my throat and mouth are dry.

      Dad finally leans down and picks up my pack of Abena M4. My diapers. He shows them to me and looks concerned. “Robin? Are you having bedwetting issues? You should talk to us about these things! We would take you to an urologist! I know it might be embarrassing but you need to tell us!”

      I snap.

      I do.

      I lose my sanity.

      “No!” I say with a muffled cry. I finally shut my eyes and then it all happens. The beating of my heart slowly destroy me, threatening to break my ribcage. Threatening to kill me. I feel my lip quiver as the shame is brought up from the depths of my stomach. “I don’t wet the bed.”
      This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. Shit!

      “Then?” asks Mom, and looks at me with concern. “Why would you have adult diapers hidden in your room?”

      “I like them!”

      Finally, I howl it.

      For the first time in my life I dare to say it out loud. I let it leave my lips. I let it leave my heart, and suddenly I feel like I’m going to be sick. I feel like anytime I’m going to just lean forward and barf all over the carpet. But I don’t. I just mutter one single phrase that sums everything that is wrong and burdening in my life.

      “I like to wear diapers… and pretend to be a baby…”

      There, I said it.

      And then, my whole world exploded.

      My world was falling apart. I knew it was all going to change the moment I uttered those words. The moment I confessed my weirdness, everyone would judge and point and laugh and shame me. I knew it. I was going to lose my family’s love, because I wasn’t a normal person and I didn’t deserve anything at all. I didn’t deserve to be happy.

      The moment the confession left my lips, I see the confused and concerned expression in my family’s faces. They are startled, and they are freaked out.

      “You… like to wear diapers?” asks Mom slowly, probably trying to warp her head around it. “And pretend to be a baby?”

      I couldn’t take it anymore. I feel the tears start welling up my eyes and falling like a cascade through my cheeks. I couldn’t keep it down. I almost shouted. “Yes! Are you happy now?! Now you know your son, your brother, is an absolute crazy fuck up! I like to wear diapers and I dream of baby bottles and pacifiers and baby clothes! Is that what you wanted to hear?!”

      I can see the shock in their faces, they utter concern. The disgrace.

      “Robin…” begins Dad with a completely shocked expression. “Son, are you…”

      “Leave!” I shout, feeling the overwhelming emotions killing me. I just look at them with my broken heart falling apart inside my chest. “Just leave me alone! Get out!”

      My mom intercedes, she leans forward to touch my hand but I won’t have it. I pull back. I don’t need to be comforted. I need them to leave me the fuck alone.

      “Just leave… please…” I plead with a little voice, sniffing because I’m crying so much.

      I know no one wants to just leave me. They want to talk about this. But I can’t. I just can’t. I wish they could understand how hard this is for me, how it is killing me. I know what they’re thinking already. They think the need to be shoved into a mental asylum forever. Or maybe they think I’m a pedophile and need to be imprisoned for the rest of my days.

      I can’t take this.

      Finally, I can see my mom tearing up. I see my dad finding no words.

      But it is Dove who speaks now. She tenderly places a hand over my mom’s shoulder to comfort her, but speaks with a convinced tone of voice. “Mom. Dad. Robin is clearly overwhelmed. Let’s… give him some space…”

      I thanked Dove in my mind, even though I knew she probably just wanted to get away of her perverted brother.

      Mom and Dad seemed to understand, because they slowly nodded and got up from my bed. They all walked past by me, and I knew mom was crying too. I could hear her sniffles as she was trying to understand. It was heartbreaking.

      My mom was always so strong and cheerful. Like, the most self-composed person I’ve ever met. For her to break down likes this means that I really, really hurt her.

      I shut my eyes as they walk away, but I feel my dad put a hand on my shoulder for a moment before they leave my room. He speaks with conviction. “We love you, son. No matter what.”

      Breaking all defenses, I hear them close the door and they left me and I just cried.

      I cry, standing there, for a solid minute.

      Then I manage to drag my broken soul and body to the bed and drop in there, and I just grab Rhino and hug him against my chest as I let out the tears. I know that right now, the last thing I’d probably want to do is look childish and hold my plushy like that. But I need it. I feel so conflicted right now, so utterly confused and despaired.

      I can’t push these desires away.

      I want to be normal.

      But I can’t.

      Chapter Seven

      This is weird.

      Robin has been very weird the past two days.

      He’s not answering his phone, and I was supposed to drive us to school on Monday morning. All I got was a message saying he’s sick and he won’t be going to school. I thought I shouldn’t worry, maybe he got something after his drinking binge and he is recovering. My first instinct was to drop by after school and keep him company, and also take notes from class. However, when I showed up at his door, Mrs. Bailey answered and told me that Robin was having the flu and it was better for me if I didn’t see him.

      Of course, that raised some red flags.

      I kept messaging him, I mean, it’s not like I was going to get sick by talking on the phone or texting. But he didn’t reply. He kept hanging up and left my texts with the “seen” mark, but no reply. Something is up and I don’t know. When he didn’t show up on school today, I knew that enough was enough.

      Something is up.

      The moment I left school for the day and headed home, I decided to get some answers. I am literally freaking out. This is not normal. Robin is not the type of person who gets sick and pushes me away, he would call me all the time to talk and feel company. Even if he was very sick, he would tell me. Specially if he was very sick. And Mrs. Bailey was acting so freaking strange when I visited them.

      I’m officially freaked out.

      So I slowly park the car on my garage and literally jump out of it. I feel very nervous and anxious and confused. What if his parents decided that, because I let Robin get drunk, I was a bad influence and didn’t want me to hang out with him anymore? No, that doesn’t make sense. His parents trust me, they love me, and they are not that overprotective. Besides, Robin is eighteen, old enough to decide who he wants to hang out with.

      Something very confusing is up.

      I know right now I should be at the school’s pool, working on my times. They captain wanted us to swim and improve our records for the next competition. But I ditched it. As much as my merchild instinct tells me I need to be in the water and working out, Robin is my best friend and he will always take priority.

      Quickly, I jump over the fence that separates our houses and I jog to the front door, and with a little bit of fear, I knock on it.

      I wait for a couple of seconds, jumping a little on my heels because I’m scared.

      Finally, Mrs. Bailey opens the door and I see her expression. She has some bags under her eyes, like she’s not been sleeping well. And her face is filled with concern. Okay, now I’m officially freaked out. I clear my throat. “Mrs. Bailey, I’m here to check on Robin…”

      Mrs. Bailey smiles warmly at me, but deep down, I don’t think it’s a genuine smile. “Hi Carter. I really appreciate your concern. I… wish you could see Robin… but… he’s not well…”

      I frown, feeling an itchy feeling on my chest. “Mrs. Bailey, I know something is up. And all you’re doing is scaring me. What’s wrong?”

      Mrs. Bailey is about to reply when I hear Dove come from behind her.

      She smiles at me, her eyes glistening with emotion. I feel a little comforted by that. Just a little.

      She walks past her mom and looks at her for a moment. “It’s okay, Mom. I’ll talk to Carter.”
      Mrs. Bailey sighs, but then nods.

      Dove then turns to me. “Wanna go for a walk?”

      Scared, I nod. Why won’t they let me see Robin?

      Dove takes my arms and pushes me away gently, and all my instincts tell me that I want to see my best friend and make sure he is alright. I feel like a fucking snake is constricting my chest. Right now, I don’t care if Dove is holding my arm in what could be considered romantic, or that she is touching me in such a tender way.

      All I care about right now is Robin.

      Dove and I walk in silence towards the park in front of our houses. I’m a nervous wreck because I’m confused and worried and everything in between.

      Finally, I speak up. “Dove, you’re scaring me. What the fuck is going on?”

      I sounded so afraid, but Dove gently pushes me to sit on the bench and I do. I expect her answer, and she does take a deep breath before speaking up. “Um… the morning after your party… my mom and I were cleaning Robin’s room when… we found something… and when we confronted him as a family, he revealed his secret.”

      That did not help much. I inquire further. “So?”

      Dove looks down, sad. “Carter, I don’t know if I should tell you. I mean, it’s Robin’s thing and I would feel crappy if I told you something private for him…”

      “The fuck, Dove!” I say with annoyance. “I’ve been scared shitless for days! And then you can’t just bring me here and tell me “Oh, we found out his secret but we can’t tell you”. Fuck that, Dove! He’s my best friend! What’s going on? Did you find drugs or something?”

      Dove took a deep breath, because she knew I was right. But I guess she was just scared as well. What was Robin into? Was he secretly a drug addict and no one knew until now? Did they find a stash of cocaine that he’s been consuming on everyone’s backs?

      “We found a bag of adult diapers,” says Dove finally.

      I halt. I stutter. “Wait, did you say adult diapers? Rewind, I’m confused.”

      Adult diapers? I was so not expecting that.

      Dove nods and looks down, as if she’s confused as well. “We confronted him about it. We thought he might be having bladder issues or something and he was embarrassed to tell us. But the truth was much more confusing.”

      I stay silent, waiting for her to just tell me.

      “He said he likes them,” says Dove finally, taking a deep breath. “He said he likes wearing diapers. And… not just that. He said he likes pretending to be a baby. He mentioned baby bottles, and pacifiers and baby clothes. We are so confused.”

      My eyes widen. I clear my throat. “You are kidding, right? Is this a joke? Because this is not the time to be joking!”

      Her silence tells me everything. She’s serious.

      “Oh my God, you’re serious,” I say in shock as I try to digest this.

      Robin Bailey, my best friend since we were eleven, likes to wear diapers and pretend to be a baby. Holy! I mean, if I look back at it, it kind of makes sense. The thumbsucking, Rhino, the way he likes to behave childish sometimes, the bedtime story when he was drunk. Oh man! This is so intense.

      I suddenly feel a terrible guilt on my heart.

      We’ve been best friends for so many years and he never told me. I should have known. Did I ever say or do anything that gave him the impression that I would shame him for this? I feel like the worst best friend in the history of the world.

      My best friend wants to be a baby. And I didn’t know.

      How the hell does that even works?

      “But,” I say slowly. “You are not being bad about it, right? I mean, I can imagine you’re all super confused and all but… your parents… they didn’t hurt him, right?”

      Dove shakes her head. “Carter, of course not! You know my parents love Robin to death! I love Robin so bad! But ever since he told us, he’s been so distraught. He has shut himself on his room, and in the rare instances he comes out, he avoids us like the plague! That’s why we’re worried! Yes, this whole diapers and baby thing has thrown us into a weird place, but we will always love him, and we don’t want to see him like this!”

      I nod, she’s right. I guess we’re all surprised and shocked, but all we care about is his happiness.
      “I’m so confused, Carter,” says Dove despaired. “He’s my older brother. He’s supposed to be the one who guides me. And now I find out he wants to be a baby? I don’t understand. I just… I feel like I never knew him.”

      “I guess none of us do,” I say softly. But then I grab her hand, placing it tenderly within my hold. I look at her. “But he’s Robin. He’s your brother who loves to help you on your projects and who pushed that kid that was hitting on you the other day. He’s the same friend I’ve hung out for years. Yeah, we’ll have to talk about this… but I think he’s still him.”

      She nods, and then she dives into my arms in an embrace.

      It feels good. I hold her, and I realize I really want to kiss her right now. But now is not the time to get all romantic. This is about comforting her, and then make sure Robin is alright.

      Because even if he has some baby complex we don’t understand, I know who he is.

      And I won’t let him go through this alone. Not anymore.

      I hope you guys enjoyed this and I hope for very cool comments!! So, I'll try to update very soon!! VERRRY SOOON!!


        Chapter Eight

        Shit, climbing trees is hard.

        I’ve never had a monkey complex, not even when I was a kid, so climbing this tree is a nightmare. But if it is the only way to get to Robin, who has locked his door and won’t let anyone in, then I guess I’ll have to break in from the window. I just wish the stupid tree could have given room for me to use a ladder. But nope, fucking Universe has to make everything complicated, doesn’t it? The last thing I expected to do when I woke up this morning was climb the tree by my best friend’s window just to get into his room.

        This is hard.

        Finally, I reach the second floor and hold on the branch, praying that it won’t break or I’d fall. I reach out and knock on his window.

        It takes him just three seconds to open it and look at me with a shocked expression. “Carter, what the hell?!”

        “Can you just let me in before I fall and break my neck?!” I say a little harshly, and then I realize I was a bit aggressive so I soften. “Please?”

        He nods and quickly helps me enter his window, and before I know it, my two feet are safely on the floor of his room. I take a deep breath as I realize that I really don’t want to climb a tree ever again. I hope this doofus doesn’t put me in such a position again. Man, it feels good to be on the ground.

        Once I’m in the room, I look at Robin.

        Man, he looks like crap. He has a shadow under his eyes, as if he hasn’t been sleeping at all. His hair is even messier than ever, and his face is pale. Even if it is depression, he looks physically ill. And his eyes, they don’t who his usual radiance. They look hollow and hopeless. Seeing him like this really makes me feel terrible.

        It is heartbreaking.

        And the smell. The room smells bad. All stuffy and such. He smells like he hasn’t showered at all.
        “Rob,” I say softly as I look at him. “Come on, talk to me.”

        He looks down, taking a deep breath. “Carter, I can’t. I know you want to help me but I’m scared. My parents and Dove figured out my secret and I feel terrible, and I feel that if I tell you everything will change and I’m sorry that I can’t bring myself to talk to you but…”

        “Robin,” I interrupt him softly. Then I take a step closer. “I know. Dove told me.”

        That’s when his eyes widen, and he starts breathing heavily. He barely manages to croak out. “You know?”

        I nod, and before I can say anything, he starts hyperventilating. He begins gasping for air, as if he can’t breathe properly, and he’s shaking. I blink as I realize that Robin is having a panic attack right before my eyes.

        “Rob!” I say as I help him sit down on the bed, and I sit next to him. I slowly rub his back and then place a hand on his chest. “Okay, calm down. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Then let go. Then try again. Just calm down, okay? I’m here.”

        He slowly starts doing what I tell him, and finally he starts to calm down. His breathing eases and starts flowing normally.

        “There, there,” I say comfortingly. “Good boy. You’re doing great.”

        He seems to calm at my soothing voice, but once he is controlled from the panic attack, he does start tearing up. He chokes a bit.

        “So you know,” he says, crying and breaking into small sobs. “Now you know your best friend is a perverted freak.”

        I shake my head. Fuck, I’ve never seen him like this. In fact, he didn’t became so overwhelmed when he told me he was bisexual. This goes deeper. This is so fucking hard.

        But I have to be strong for him.

        “I would never think that of you, Robin, you know that,” I say softly as I rub his back tenderly. “And neither do Dove or your parents. They love you. We all love you. Yes, we are confused, and we are worried. But nothing will change the fact that we want you to be happy, okay? Whatever it takes.”

        He sniffs and nods. Then he leans against me, resting his head on my shoulder. I just warp my arm around his and rub his forearm, holding him close.

        As he calms down, I rest my cheek on his head, against his hair. I speak. “So… diapers and baby stuff, huh? Want to talk about it?”

        He sniffs and nods. “I do. But… well… I talked to Dr. Jones this morning. On the phone. I told him everything, and he’s set up and emergency session for all of us tomorrow. We’re going to talk about it. Do you… would you go with us? Please? I’m afraid and I think I’ll need you…”

        I nod without hesitation. My hand travels to his and I hold it. I’ve never held his hand, and it doesn’t feel homo or anything at all. “Of course, buddy. If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

        He looks at me and smiles a little. “Thank you.”

        I smile back at him, and then I realize how tired he looks. He probably hasn’t slept well because of this stress and guilt and everything he’s feeling. “You should sleep a little, buddy. You look terrible.”

        Robin sighs. “Yeah… I’ll… take a nap…”

        I stand up, with the intention of leaving him so he can rest. However, he stops me by grabbing my hand again. I turn back to him, and I see some of the light return to his eyes. “Carter… can you stay here until I fall asleep?”

        I look at him, surprised, but I nod.

        He sounds like such a little kid. And then I remember he wants to be a baby. That’s when it starts to sink in fully. My best friends wants to be a baby. He wants to be treated like an infant, wear diapers and everything. I don’t know what to think of it.

        But I know I love him. And I’ll do anything for him.

        Slowly, he slips on the bed and grabs Rhino.

        And something overtakes me. I don’t really understand it, and I really don’t know why I feel this instinct. But I do, and suddenly I grab the covers and start tucking him in as if he really was a small child. Something woke up inside me.

        Something was set alight.

        I tuck him in and he slips his thumb into his mouth and starts sucking, holding Rhino against his chest. And all I can think is how he wants this. How he’s wanted to be babied for so long. Seeing him like this starts a fire on my heart. A raging fire.

        I sit on the bed beside him, and again, something overtakes me.

        “Once upon a time…” I begin, not really thinking about it. I start telling him the bedtime story.

        Why? Why do I suddenly have this urge to baby him like this?

        But I keep on telling him the story, and he seems to calm down because by the end of it, he’s sucking his thumb calmly, eyes closed, breathing even.

        What the hell is going on?


        I enter the house and the first thing I do is head for the kitchen, open the fridge and grab a coke. I open it, hearing the hissing noise and then I bring the can to my lips, taking a refreshing sip of this magnificent and diabetes-inducing beverage.

        I take a deep breath as I sit on the couch with the can of coke and try to decide if I want to think about everything going on or just turn on the TV a lose myself on some shitty drama show. I know there are so many dramas going on about relationships, medical or even some other things. For some reason, what is going on with Robin seems just as dramatic.

        “Hey there, bud.”

        I blink a little when I see my father enter the living room with a warm smile towards me. I smile back at him. “Hey Dad.”

        He sits in the poof cushion we have in front of the sofa I’m sitting, and gives me his therapist look. Oh my God, here he comes. He speaks with a soft voice. “Hank called me, he told me about Robin. All of it.”

        I blink in surprise. Hank was Mr. Bailey’s first name. I think I’m not surprised he called my dad. My father is a psychologist after all, who also knows and cares for his son. It’s not surprise he would go to my dad for answers. I clear my throat. “So? I don’t understand, Dad… none of us do…”

        My father just nods. “Carter, did you know that Dr. Jones and I went to college together? We did both our thesis on Paraphilias. What Robin has is something called Paraphilic Infantilism, that’s the medical term. Among themselves, they have other names though.”

        I lean forward, resting my elbows against my legs in support. “Can it be cured or something? Is… is Robin broken?”

        My father shakes his head. “Listen, I think I’ll let Dr. Jones explain everything to you all. That’s what I told Hank. But I also told him that Robin is still the same boy we all know, and that, while there is not really any success story of this being quote-unquote cured, Robin is more than capable to thrive in life. Just wait till you see Dr. Jones tomorrow and he’ll explain everything. Be sure to ask him anything. Or me, for that matter.”

        I nod, and I take a deep breath. “Dad, I… something weird happened to me today regarding Robin and his baby thing…”

        My dad leans forward and looks at me. “Yes, Carter?”

        I take a deep breath. “Well, after I found out he wanted to be a baby, I was shocked of course. But when I was comforting him about it, I kind of felt super protective of him all of the sudden. And then, he went to sleep and I found myself tucking him in and… telling him a bedtime story. I know, it sounds super weird and freaky. I don’t know why I did that.”

        Saying that makes me embarrassed a little, and confused. I look at my dad, hoping he has some answer to why I feel like this.

        My dad fixes his glasses and nods. Man, he’s such a therapist.

        “Carter, everyone knows Robin and you have a very special bond,” says my dad with a smile. “We all know you are closer than many people. Your friendship is so special, many people look for something like that all their lives and never find it. It’s beautiful, really. So I’m not surprised you’d do that kind of stuff to make him feel better. You love him, he loves you. Simple as that.”

        I nod, but I know he’s not done.

        “That being said,” he continues. “I think I have some rough idea why you felt like this. Do your remember the Dark Times?”

        I scoff, feeling a shudder as I remember the worst time in my family’s life. “How can I forget? It broke us.”

        “It did,” says dad with the same anguish tone. “Your mom was pregnant, and you were so excited. I’ve never seen a ten year old so excited to have a baby sibling. You were crazy about the idea of a baby in the house. You said you were going to be the best big brother ever, that you would change the baby’s diapers, and feed him, and play with him.”

        I nod, feeling some tightening on my chest. “Yes, I remember. My greatest regret in life is never having the chance to be a big brother like that. To never care for a baby like that.”

        My dad nods. “After your mom’s miscarriage, you were broken. We all were. Your mother and I were nursing the wound of losing our child, and we really didn’t think how affected you were about losing your brother before he was even born.”

        I feel my eyes welling up. “It was horrible.”

        “So I think,” says Dad finally as he looks at me. “Now that you know that Robin likes to be treated like a baby, at some subconscious level, your desire to be a big brother figure and take care of a baby was kind of reignited. I mean, I’m just throwing theories right now. The human mind is so complex. But I definitely think that there is nothing wrong in that. You’re a loving person by nature, Carter. It’s in your bones.”

        A smile forms in my mouth. He always knows how to make me feel better.

        He leans forward and kisses my forehead. “Son, if you ever need to talk about anything. Or have questions. About Robin, or yourself, just come to me. I know you hate me going all therapist on you but… I love you, and I want you to be happy. Just as you want your best friend to be happy.”

        “Thanks, dad,” I say softly, and I know he’s right.

        The Baileys world was shaken after learning this about Robin, but so was mine.

        And yet, in some deeper level, I really don’t believe it was a bad thing.

        Chapter Nine

        We’re here. Dr. Jones’ office.

        I’m shaking badly, my heart is threatening to stop, my face has no blood on it, pales as a ghost. I’ve been locked up for three days, avoiding everyone because I’ve been so ashamed and embarrassed and fearful to face them. And now we’re going to talk about it for a full hour. Is there any way I am going to live through this? Will I survive or will I die in here? If I do, what will happen after we leave this office?

        The whole way here was a nightmare. We were all silent, an uncomfortable and killing silence. I didn’t know what to think or do. I was so scared of this moment, in fact, Carter had to hold my hand the entire ride. I just instinctively reached for his hand in the car, and he didn’t say anything.

        He just squeezed it comfortingly.

        An now we’re at Dr. Jones’ place, he’s moved us to a big room for family counseling.

        I’m sitting on a small seat, cushioned and comfortable.

        On my right side, on a sofa, my parents are sitting side by side, facing the center. On the left side, Dove and Carter take their place in a similar sofa. We’re organized in a circle, and Dr. Jones is on his chair, facing all of us opposite to me.

        I feel like I’m on trial.

        Dr. Jones has always been super cool. He’s close friends with Carter’s dad, so he was always very friendly to me. Still, I could never bring myself to confess this. I asked to see him because I wanted to accept myself, and yet, I could never really spoke of it. I was never brave enough to bring it up, afraid he’d try to hospitalize me or something. But now everyone knew, and I called him because we all needed to hear it from him.

        We need to talk about this, even if it kills me.

        Dr. Jones looks at my parents and smiles. But they’re not smiling. “Hank, Gina, thank you so much for coming in such short notice. Robin called me and told me what’s going on, and I think you all need to talk about this.”

        My dad just nods, seriously. “He’s our son. All we want is for him to be well.”

        The doctor nods and then turns to Dove. “Dove, I am very happy to meet you. I understand it must be tough to discover this side of your older brother. A side you never knew about.”

        “It is unnerving,” admits Dove and sighs.

        I close my eyes. Poor Dove, she must be so embarrassed.

        Then Dr. Jones turns to Carter and his smile widens. “Carter, so nice to see you. You know your father and I worked closely for years. I’m very fond of your family. Don’t worry, I’ll make you understand what’s going on with Robin.”

        “I trust you,” says Carter and then he turns to me, giving me a comforting smile. He turns back to the doctor. “My best friend is in pain. I hope you can make him feel better.”

        Then Dr. Jones turned to me, and leaned forward. I was scared, but his soft gaze made me feel comfortable. “Robin, you know you have to talk to us. Don’t be afraid. We’re here to listen, and no one will judge you…”

        I nod, but I look down. “I don’t know where to start…”

        “By the beginning,” says Dr. Jones and stares at me. “When did you first started feeling drawn to wearing diapers? When did you first realized you had a desire to be a baby?”

        I gulp.

        “Listen, if you don’t want your family to know, we can ask them to wait outside for a moment,” says Dr. Jones calmly.

        “No, they can stay.”

        Those words leave my mouth slowly, but convinced. I look at my family, and at Carter. And for the first time in my life, I realize that they need to know. I want them to know. I’ve been hiding for so long, ashamed and scared, and I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t keep denying this part of me that’s so imbedded in my mind. I can’t pretend anymore.

        Things will never be the same, so might as well come clean.

        I can’t be afraid anymore.

        “I don’t remember,” I answer honestly. “I’ve always felt this way. As far as I have use of memory. I remember being a five year old boy, and all my cousins were super excited to be big kids, going to school and playing to be grown-ups. I didn’t. I wanted to be a baby still. I… I kept seeing mothers and fathers with babies in arms and I felt so jealous. I wanted to be diapered, and bottle-fed, and cared for. Always. I thought it would pass, but I kept growing up… but the desires just got stronger. I was eight, then ten, then twelve… and so on… and I still wanted to be… a baby…”

        As those words leave my mouth, I look at my parents hurt expression. My mother looks sad.

        “I… I…” I begin with a hasty voice. “I always heard my parents tell me how I was a fine young man, I felt pressured to be a responsible grown-up. And… then Dove… she is my younger sister. I’m supposed to be the one who protects her, guides her, and cares for he. But deep down, all I ever wanted was to swap places with her. I wanted to be little one.”

        I feel my eyes burning by then.

        My mother looks at Dr. Jones, tears streaming. “Dr. Jones… did we do something wrong? Did I do something wrong during Robin’s upbringing?”

        Dr. Jones looks at her and raises his hand. “I’ll answer that in a moment, Gina. Robin, tell me, how did you feel growing up with these feelings?”

        Next question, and I felt so bad. But I talked.

        “Horrible,” I began, lip quivering. “I felt so ashamed, so embarrassed. I felt guilty. I tried to push those desires away, telling myself I was a big boy. But they never faded. Those thoughts lived inside of me and I… I thought I was crazy. It was horrible.”

        That’s it, tears are streaming down.

        Then, I feel something. I blink when I notice Dove is holding my hand, strong, comforting. I look at her and she looks overwhelmed, but strong. I know it then. She does love me.

        “Last question, Robin,” says Dr. Jones as he takes a deep breath. “Be honest. If you were to choose between leading a grown-up life or regressing to be a baby for the rest of your life… what would you choose?”

        That’s not a hard question to answer.

        “I would remain a grown-up,” I say with resolution. “I like my life. I like school, I like my friends, I like the idea of going to college and be someone in the future. I just… I wish I could be a baby too, sometimes. I don’t know, it’s weird. I definitely want to grow up, but at times, just enjoy the life and caring a baby gets. Is that too weird?”

        Dr. Jones smiles. “That’s the answer I expected.”

        Then he addresses my parents, and I’m afraid. But strong.

        He clears his throat. “Hank, Gina… first of all, I’ll answer your question. I’m not sure if you did anything that would incite this behavior on Robin, but I am mostly positive you didn’t. What Robin is dealing with is called Paraphilic Infantilism, and it is a desire to be babied and diapered. And this will surprise you, but this type of behaviors are more common than one would think. The problem is that no one dares to speak about them. They’re still a taboo topic.”

        My parents remain silent, but nod.

        “Yeah,” I say. “A few years ago, I got online and researched the topic… met people… went into support forums. They helped me a lot. They made me realize I’m not the only one. And… well… I… we like to call ourselves Adult Babies…”

        Dr. Jones nods. “Yes. And I know you know by now, Robin, that these things are so deep rooted in your mind, that it would be almost impossible to let it go. I can’t quote-unquote cure you. The mystery of this type of behaviors is still big, and there is much to learn.”

        My dad leans forward and speaks softly. “Then, what do we do, Dr. Jones?”

        Dr. Jones takes a deep breath then. “Well, diaper fetishism can be sexual for many. But also non-sexual for others. Robin seems to be in the non-sexual category. Not that it would be wrong either way. That being said, I don’t think there is much to do except to learn to live with it… deal with it the best you can…”

        My mom leans forward, confused. “I’m confused.”

        “Me too,” I admit.

        Dr. Jones looks at us. All of us. “Look, Robin has been repressing this side of him for so long. It has made him feel ashamed, guilty and miserable. Telling him to lay off diapers and baby stuff will turn out to be more harmful than good. Yeah, he can go on in life without them, but I’m absolutely sure he will feel incomplete and unhappy. So I guess none of us really want that, right?”

        They all nod their heads.

        “So I say you should let him be a baby, at times,” says Dr. Jones with conviction.

        We all stare at him in shock.

        Including me.

        I start breathing heavily. Is he for real? Is he telling my family to let me be the baby I want to be at times? What the hell does that mean?

        My mom looks calm. “Do you think that will help him be happy? What… should we do? Like, should we treat him like a baby?”

        Dr. Jones takes a deep breath. “I know this is very complicated. I’d say to take it slowly. But yeah, part of me thinks this is a great way to deal with this. Look, Robin is a very intelligent young man, and very sensitive. He has all the tools to thrive in life. He can be very successful, and lead a pretty good life full of achievements. He just needs times where he can let this side of him out and fill him with joy.”

        We’re all shocked.

        “How… how would that work?” I say with a squeaky voice.

        “That’s something you’ll have to talk amongst yourselves,” says Dr. Jones calmly. “It has to be something your family is okay with, but also something you are okay with.”

        Then he addresses everyone. “Talk about it, as a family. Think about what you are willing to do for Robin. And Robin will have to think what he’s happy to do with you and what he wants to keep private. Yeah, it will be strange for everyone at first, but in time… you will get used to it and more at ease…”

        I feel some sort of fluttery feeling, and excitement.

        Could this really be happening? Could the doctor be encouraging my family to let me be a baby at times?

        My mom and my dad look at each other, and they nod. My dad is the one who speaks. “We’ll do whatever to make our boy happy.”

        I feel my heart constricting with affection.

        Dr. Jones nods and smiles. “Anything you want to tell Robin?”

        My mom is the first one to speak. She turns around and touches my hand, and it’s warm and loving. She looks at me with love. “Baby, I’ll always love you. No matter what. I’ll do anything that makes you happy and makes you thrive in life, because I know the great person you’ll be. If this makes you happy, then I’ll be part of it, no second thoughts…”

        I start sniffing. “Mommy…”

        Then my dad speaks, clearing his throat. “I am proud of you, son. Anything you need, I’ll be there. I’ll support you. I love you.”

        I cry softly.

        Then I feel Dove’s hand on my shoulder. I turn to her, and she’s smiling. “I love you too, and, can I be honest? I always wanted to have a baby brother.”

        A soft laugh leaves my mouth as I hear that. I smile. “Well, let’s see how good of a big sister you are.”

        And finally, my eyes land on Carter. My best friend, who has been silent all session. I’ve been so worried about his reaction too.

        Carter then speaks. “Rob, you’re my best friend. I am sorry you had to carry this burden on your own for so long. But I am here for you now. We all are. We love you, and we’ll do our best to make you the happiest baby alive!”

        Finally I feel myself crying of happiness.

        “I love you all,” I say between sniffles.

        Dr. Jones smiles. “I want to see you once a week, Robin. We’ll work together so you can embrace this side of you, and anything else that burdens you. You’ll be alright.”

        I nod, and smile truly, feeling a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.

        I know it now.

        I will be alright.

        Chapter Ten

        Friday afternoon, and I’m here, at the school’s pool, swimming a few laps to improve my record. And to finally blow off some steam. I really need to feel the comfort of the water around my body, the power of my arms against it to push forward. Close my eyes and dive into the amazingness of the core of life. Water is my friend, and I can always trust in it to make me feel relaxed and calm.

        Maybe I am from Atlantis after all.

        After I reach the start line, I finally take my head off the water and gasp for a fresh breath of air. I fell it fill my lungs, and my muscles finally relax after the killing workout I just put them through. I let the heaviness and stiffness go as I let my body limp above the water, letting it make me float, not having to do anything but relax.

        This feels nice.

        The smell of chlorine is makes my nose feel at home.

        “Hey, buddy!”

        I blink a little and see Robin enter the school pool with a smile on his face. He looks well, relaxed, rested. Happy.

        I feel relief wash over me.

        He’s been back to school for two days now, after skipping three. After the session with Dr. Jones, he seems more at ease, comfortable, and maybe even relaxed. To be honest, even if I’ve seen him in his happiest times for seven years, I’ve never seen him quite like this. There is a new vibe around him, something that makes everyone comfortable.

        It’s like he has had a huge, huge weight lifted off his chest. Like he can finally breathe.

        That makes me so happy.

        “Throw me a towel, will ya?” I tell him as I swim to the edge and get out of the pool.

        Robin quickly grabs my towel and hands it to me, and I quickly take off the swimming cap and dry off my body. As I start rubbing the cloth around my thighs and everything, I see Robin blush a little and look away. I raise an eyebrow. “Why do you look like that?”

        He huffs. “I’m bisexual dude. Seeing cute guys in speedos can be a turn on… sometimes…”

        I can’t help but snort at the idea. “Oh, so you do think I’m cute. Do you have speedo fetish too?”

        He blushes deeply and smacks my arm, but he is clearly mortified. “Dude! Not cool!”

        I laugh out loud for a moment. And once I’m dry, I lay the towel on the bench, sit on it and warp it around so he doesn’t feel uncomfortable or staring at my speedo-clad hunk. He sits next to me and I see him feel more at ease again.

        “So,” I begin with a deep breath. We’re the only ones here so I can speak freely. “How are you doing, buddy? You know… about everything.”

        Robin takes a deep breath. “Honestly? I am nervous and excited. My parents and Dove have been talking in private, about… you know. They said that as soon as I get home from school today, they’ll talk to me and let me know the verdict.”

        I nod with a smile. “Yeah. I know.”

        He raises an eyebrow. “Do you know something I don’t?”

        “Maybe,” I tease with glee. Yes, I know what is in store for him as soon as he gets home. Dove has filled me in, and she has told me they have decided what they want to do. I hope Robin is comfortable. “I’m just going to say that after school today, you will be a very happy baby.”

        Robin looks startled, and even nervous.

        He takes another deep breath. He looks at me shily. “Carter… thank you. I am so sorry I didn’t tell you, about my baby side. About my wish to wear diapers. You don’t know how badly I wanted to tell you. There were many occasions I was about to do it but I chickened. I was afraid you’d want to stop being my friend, and that idea killed me.”

        I frown a little, this is turning solemn.

        “Rob,” I say as I put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression I would be uncool with this. But you know now. You’re my best friend, and that will always be the case. I am so honored and flattered you asked me to tag along to the session, and that you now feel confident enough to talk to me about this.”

        Robin looks more at ease and smiles shily. “You are the most amazing person in the planet.”

        I shake my head with a smile. “No, I’m not the most amazing person of the planet. You are.”

        That’s our friendship quote, if there is such a thing.

        We stay in silence for a moment, and I take in a deep breath, because I know there is something else Robin needs to know. Something that I have to take off my chest.

        For the past 72 hours I have been giving it much thought. Thinking about what my dad told me, thinking about this whole Baby Robin thing. I came to find out some things about myself as well, and that maybe this part of Robin’s life is something that he can share with me too. Not just talking to me about it, but actually living it.

        Maybe, just maybe, I want to baby Robin as much as he wants to be babied.

        “Hey Carter, what’s up?” says Robin as he brings me out of my bubble of thought. “You drifted away for a moment.”

        I look at him, and I nod.

        Well, this is a good time as any. I hope I don’t mess up or make things weird between us. I pray he understands.

        “Rob, can I tell you something?” I say timidly.

        “You can tell me anything,” he says concerned. “You know that.”

        I know, it was a stupid questions. I take in a deep breath and start. “Do you remember what I told you about what we call the Dark Times?”

        Robin takes a few seconds of confusion, before nodding solemnly. “Yeah, your mom was pregnant, but she had a miscarriage and lost the baby. Your family was a mess for a while. You told me you were very sad and it took a lot to move forward.”

        “Yes,” I say and look away. “Well, only Sammy and you know about that. My family was devastated, but… I was worse. You see, for months, I fantasized about the time my baby brother would come. I wanted so badly to take care of him, be a caring big brother. I even practiced diaper changes with Sammy’s baby sister. Seriously dude. It meant a lot to me. But it didn’t happen… in the end, the chance for that was taken from me…”

        Robin looks saddened. “I’m so sorry, Carter.”

        “Thank you, but the thing is…” I begin, and I feel my throat constrict. “I… after I comforted you, about your desire of being a baby and all that… I… I kind of felt a weird drive to care for you. That knowledge… it sparked a fire in my heart that I thought had died down. I… I started thinking that maybe you… well… after Dr. Jones talked to us… I’ve been considering… if you want, of course…”

        Man, this is so hard to put into words. Now I know why Robin had such a difficult time confessing this.

        “Wait,” says Robin, in shock as he looks at me with eyes opened wide. He lifts his hands and holds them to stop me. “Wait, wait, wait. Carter… are you… offering to baby me?”

        This is it, I’m mortified. I blush deeply.

        “Yes,” I confess, looking away, slowly. “I mean, only if you want! Of course! If you feel comfortable about it… if you think you’d like that… then…”

        “Hell yes!” he says with an outburst. I look at him with a startled look as his eyes radiate with excitement and emotion, and smile on his face. He speaks again. “Carter… I… I would love that! I mean, I didn’t tell anyone but… I’ve had fantasies where you… treat me like a baby. You. You’ve always been an amazing best friend and always gave me some sort of brotherly protection. Carter, the idea of you being willing and happy to baby me makes me happy! Dude, I want that! I so want that!”

        I stare at him, and he stops as he realizes he’s getting loudly excited.

        Finally, I burst into laughter. “Oh, you’re impossible Rob! Yes, of course I’d love to! If you’re game, then I’m game. It may take a little for us to get used to it, but if you really want that, count me in. Because I really want to.”

        He looks so happy as I say that.

        Then he pulls me into a hug and holds me tight for a solid thirty seconds. I hug him back, and since I’m still a bit damp, I kind of wet his clothes a little. Meh, it’s a hot day anyway.

        “Okay,” I say as I push him back gently. “Enough hugs for now. People already think I’m gay and I’m dating you.”

        He laughs at that. “We do give that vibe sometimes.”

        I nod, but laugh as well. Then I say one last thing on the subject. “Oh, and Rob. Nothing has to change much between us, okay? We’re still us. We are still best friends who go to the movies and hang out at the mall and meet with other friends to drink beer and get wasted, okay? Just because sometimes I’ll baby you doesn’t mean things have to get weird.”

        Robin just nods. “I know that, Carter. But my world is changing now, and I’m excited. But at the same time, I know some things won’t change at all. Like our friendship.”


        And before I know it, I’m walking to the locker room to get dressed and then join Robin, Sammy and our other friends at the lunch table.

        Suddenly, Robin and I are talking about trivial stuff, and I realize that really, nothing has changed.

        We are just closer now.

        Chapter Eleven

        After school, I walk nervously to the front door.

        I know my family wanted to talk about what’s coming now. About what they have decided to deal with my Adult Baby side. I am a mixture of scared and excited, and also very happy. Because I know that whatever happens, they love me for the way I am and I don’t need to be scared or ashamed anymore. Yes, it will take time and sessions with Dr. Jones to fully embrace this side of me, but now I know that I have my parents, my sister and Carter to hold my hand if things get tough.

        And Carter!

        He offered to baby me! That has always been some sort of recurring fantasy of mine. I don’t know how it will work, but the fact that he is willing to try, and that he wants to do that too, makes me extremely fortunate. It makes me feel extremely loved. Carter has been the best partner in life, and I feel really lucky to be his best friend.

        We are going to college next year, but we already applied for the same university and to be roommates. I am so looking forward to that!

        Finally, I open the door and enter my house.

        It’s amazing how much has changed in just a week. How much the world is different and I feel like a new, blessed, brave person.

        With a deep breath, not really knowing what’s coming, I walk into the kitchen.

        The first thing I see is my mom cutting some carrots for our daily meal. She loves cooking, and she seems to be enjoying it now.

        She looks much more relaxed and happy than after I told them. She was a mess when I did, but now I know it wasn’t because I was an Adult Baby at all, but because I kind of screamed my head off and shut myself in my room. That’s what scared her.

        “Hey Mom!” I say with a cheerful tone of voice. My usual cheeriness that she always loved.

        She looks at me and smiles. “Hi Robin, how was school today?”

        I walk towards her and kiss her in the cheek, and then look at her. “It was nice. Fortunately, there is some sort of Teacher’s conference and meetings this week among the school staff, so they’re being very lenient with homework.”

        She nods. “Yeah, Dove told me about that. She’s been home for an hour now, but she’s been busy with the next debate.”

        “Yeah, I can imagine,” I tell her as I grab a glass and pour some water in it. “I’ll let her know that I’ll help her again if she needs to.”

        My mother nods and I down the water.

        I feel happy to have a trivial, casual conversation with my mother. It puts me an ease. Nothing is awkward, nothing is weird.

        Then Dove enters the kitchen, and so does Dad. They look like they have been talking quite deeply because they have twin smiles on their faces. I am about to greet them, but I stop myself when I see Dove is carrying a big box in her arms. Doesn’t look heavy at all, but it is big and it’s warped in The Lion Guard warping paper.

        I feel myself go stiff and nervous.

        “Hey champ,” says Dad as he walks to me and puts a hand on my back. He is smiling though. “Okay, so, as we promised, we need to have that talk. Come, sit at the table with us.”

        I feel a little nervous, but I nod.

        We all head to the kitchen table and we sit on our usual places. Dove places the mysterious present next to her chair instead of the table so it won’t block the view. I see my parents and my sister looking at me with comforting eyes, but that doesn’t make me less nervous and less fidgety.

        “So?” I begin, my voice a little bit small.

        My dad clears his throat. “Well, ever since we saw Dr. Jones, we have been talking. The three of us. We also looked online and also asked other therapists for input. We have immense trust in Dr. Jones, but we also wanted to have other opinions. That being said, they all came to the conclusion that, indeed, the only way to make you thrive in life is to give you what you need. What makes you happy.”

        My heart starts beating faster. I nod.

        Then my mom speaks. “We talked about what we would be okay with, and what should be allowed. And finally, we have come to terms with what should our life be like now. So, we have come to a few compromises and terms we would like to lay out to you, and you can decide what you’d like to do and what not. Robin, this is about you being comfortable, don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t feel good with.”

        I nod slowly. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

        “Okay,” says Dad and then he looks at me. “I guess the first thing is diapers. If you want to wear diapers, you are free to do so. We are okay with that. Anytime you like, we are more than happy to let you wear them.”

        I look at them agape. “Are you serious?”

        Mom laughs a little at my expression. “Yeah. If you want to go pant-less, and think we’re cool with that too. It might take us a little but to seeing you in just diapers, but babies sometimes don’t wear pants, so we’re okay with that.”

        I feel my heart fluttering. “Wow…”

        Dove is the one who speaks now. “I guess it goes without saying, that if we have guests in the house, specially my friends, you have to be discreet, right? Either don’t wear a diaper or wear some very concealing pants over. Please!”

        I nod with a small grin. “Of course! I totally understand and agree with that!”

        Dad smiles at my enthusiasm. He continues. “Now, usage. We are fine if you want to wet your diapers. Peeing diapers is not that smelly and definitely not as gross as we came to think about it. You are, however, absolutely forbidden to go…uh… number two. At least on our presence.”

        I blush a little at that.

        “Yes, please!” says Dove with a laugh. “I love you, bro, but that’s a gross thing to do around family. Rude too. And I don’t tolerate those smells.”

        I quickly nod in agreement. “Yeah, I understand. I promise you there won’t be any messy diapers for you to put up with! I swear!”

        “Good,” says my mother. “Now, changes. We talked about that too. I am your mother, and I love you. But you’re eighteen and you are a boy, so the idea of me seeing you naked, let alone touching you there, is just inappropriate. Dove too, she’s a girl, and we have to keep some prudence on that front.”

        I blush deeply at the thought. I know that. “Yeah, having you change me would be super awkward! Sorry, but I understand I am a boy and respect your gender boundaries.”

        Dad nods, but then he clears his throat. “That being said, if you want me to change you… I am up for it.”

        I look at my dad with widen eyes. Is he for real? “Dad, are you serious?”

        My dad just shrugs. “I’ve seen you naked a lot of times. We’re both guys. And the more I thought of it, I came to realize it wouldn’t be so weird. That’s it, if you want. You can change yourself if you want, but if some times you feel comfortable with me changing you, I’m okay with that.”

        I feel my lip quiver. I’m so touched. “I would like that, Dad. Thank you.”

        He nods and gives me a thumbs-up.

        I can’t believe it. My dad is offering to change my diapers. Okay, now, seriously, where is the hidden camera? Is this a very elaborated prank?

        “Now, the baby stuff,” begins Dove and leans forward. “If you want to dress up like a baby when it’s just us four, we’re cool with that. We really are. And if you want to act like a baby, you know, suck your thumb or a pacifier, or whatever, we think we’re cool with that too. As long as we keep it amongst us, we are more than willing to treat you like that. Not all the time, of course, you’re still you. But if, let’s say, a Friday night or whatever, you feel like going full baby, we’re okay with that.”

        I feel my heart thumping fast, and I nod. “Yes! I told you guys, I don’t want to be a baby all the time! I am cool with being babied once or twice a week, but that’s it! I still have a grown-up life I love!”

        They all nod.

        Finally, my mom looks at me with a smile. “Well, I think that pretty much covers it up! Oh, by the way, the diapers. They are not cheap, and you need to be responsible for that. So you have to buy them, with your own money. If you run out of them, you’ll have to save up for more.”

        “Got it!” I say with a smile. “Completely reasonable!”

        “We knew you’d understand,” says Dad with a pat on my shoulder. “You are a mature person, as ironic as that sounds. And we love you.”

        Then, finally, Dove lifts the present with The Lion Guard wrapping paper and then hands it over. “For you, baby brother.”

        I nod and tear the warping paper mercilessly. I open it and what I find leaves me breathless.

        It’s a pack of adult diapers. Premium ones, the ones who are thick and absorbent and puffy. Three pacifiers, one is green, and two are blue. A pacifier clip to make sure it’s tied to my clothes. A baby bottle. A sippy cup. A big bib with a duck drawn in it. And finally, a pair of adult-sized onesies, one of them is blue, and the other one has spaceship prints on it.

        Dove then breaks into a mad grin. “Oh my God, you’re gonna look so cute in that!”

        I stare at each item in shock. I look at all of them, my heart swelling and my eyes welling in tears once more. “Why… why are you doing this? How can you be so cool about this whole thing?”

        “Because we love you, Robin,” says Mom and kisses my forehead. “And the only thing that matters to your father and me is that you and your sister are happy. That’s all it ever mattered.”

        Before I can stop myself, I hug them all, one by one, telling them how much I love them.

        They are the best family ever.

        Chapter Twelve

        My dad and I are my room, we just got in.

        I’m a little bit nervous about what’s coming, but really excited, and really emotional. I guess I have a real combination of feelings that are hard to describe. I never thought this would happen, never in my life would I have thought this was something that would be present in my life. I thought it was left just for fantasies and dreams.

        Dad looks around at my superhero posters with interest. “I was quite a comic book geek too in my times. Man, I think I collected the original Teen Titan’s story, The Judas Contract. You know, the one who debuts…”

        “Nightwing,” I finish for him with a smile. “They recently did an animated adaptation. We should watch it one day soon.”

        “We should,” agrees Dad with a smile as he lifts the pack of diapers. “Are you ready, buddy?”

        I nod with a smile, quickly walking to the bed and unbuttoning my jeans, slowly slipping them down and taking them off. I take no time in throwing them to the hamper, and then I do the same with both my boxers and my t-shirt.

        Before I know it, I’m laying in bed, stark naked except for my socks, waiting for my father to diaper me.

        Wow, that’s so surreal.

        He quickly opens the back and carefully, he takes out a diaper. Then he puts the pack down, with all the baby stuff they got me, and pushes it aside. He unfold the diaper and pulls it on the bed, next to me. He smiles. “I remember when you were an actual toddler. You never wanted to get your diaper changed. You were always running around, and I was chasing you, trying to get you to stay still. Maybe this whole thing started before you were even out of diapers at all!”

        I chuckle at that. He’s just trying to get us used to this, and relieve this initial awkwardness.

        He slowly leans to my desk and grabs the baby powder. He turns to me as he opens the cap. “Okay, buddy. Lift your butt and your legs.”

        I do it, and then it hits me.

        My dad is diapering me. Like a baby.

        I think about how great this feels as he finally slips the diaper below me and puts my legs down, and then he starts sprinkling powder all over my privates.

        I feel so emotional, I think how this feels so strange. Strange and beautiful.

        Dad can see I’m a bit overwhelmed, because he quickly reaches down to the box of presents and takes out the green pacifier. He quickly slips it into my mouth, and I welcome it. I start sucking on it, and it feels good.

        My father lifts the front of the diaper, and then carefully tapes the sides. Once it is done, he makes sure the corners and the legs are snug.

        I just suck my pacifier.

        Oh my God, my Dad just diapered me.

        “There,” he says with some pride. “I think I did a descent job after so many years out of practice! Specially with such a big baby!”

        I can’t help but giggle through my pacifier.

        Then my father takes out the blue onesie and he offers it to me. I nod quickly, and then I lift my arms. Dad slowly dresses me into my onesie, and then he is snapping the final buttons on the bottom of my diaper.

        I feel so happy now.

        Once he’s done, I realize I must look like a really big baby. An eighteen year old with a pacifier on his mouth, a thick diaper and a onesie. He takes out the clip to make sure my pacifier is tied to my onesie and doesn’t fall.

        It’s Heaven.

        Dad then leans down and places a kiss on my head. “I love you, my little boy.”

        I take out my pacifier for a moment. And I speak with the earnest sincerity. “I love you too, Daddy.”

        He rubs my back for a moment, before patting it and leaving the room with a smile on his face. “Let me know if you need a change, okay?”

        Clearly this won’t be as weird as we first thought.

        Because this is the very definition of unconditional love.


        RICHIE: Dude, that’s is sooooooooo amazing!

        I smile at the screen, Richie’s message is so comforting. He’s always been supportive, and he knows first hand what this is like. I took not time in telling him everything that’s been going on, and his reactions of surprise and support had been nothing short of funny and endearing at the same time.

        ME: I know! I’m still trying to believe it. It’s like those dreams you never want to wake up from! I’m sitting in my room, with a diaper that my father put on me! In a onesie and a pacifier in my mouth! It’s insane!

        I smile though, but I keep sucking my pacifier. It hasn’t really left my mouth at all.

        RICHIE: Enjoy it! I know what you feel. I felt that way after Henry, and my sister Larisa, and my parents, showed me support and love. I know many people in our community and lifestyle are shunned, shamed and even disowned by their families. But I knew yours wasn’t like that. I am really, really happy for you, Robbie!

        I nod to myself. I believe that now.

        ME: Thanks Richie. Your support has been vital for me! Oh, and I didn’t tell you! My best friend, Carter, offered to baby me sometime too! He is so amazing, and I hope it doesn’t get weird! But he’s him, you know? I have the feeling we’ll both enjoy it!

        RICHIE: That’s great! We should do a meet up one day! You and I can play with baby toys, clad in diapers, while Henry and Carter chat avidly as they babysit us!

        I let out a laugh. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

        ME: Nice one! Worth a thought! Maybe one day soon!

        I keep chatting with Richie for a good half an hour before I saying goodbye to him, and signing off. I need to do some homework and I need to get ahead of it or I’ll stay behind. I still have big boy responsibilities that I’ll gladly take care of.

        Before I can open a Word document so I can start my essay on cell mitosis, I hear a knock on my door.

        “Hey bro, may I come in?” I hear my sisters voice ask politely.

        I think about it for a second. Am I ready for my sister to see me in diapers, onesie and pacifier? Part of me wants to wait a little before that, and grab and blanket or something to cover myself. However, I stop before I can do that.

        She’s going to see me like this eventually. And it’s not like the diapers are quiet. The crinkle is quite noisy.

        I take a deep breath before pulling back, taking the pacifier off my mouth and yielding. “Yes, sis. Come in.”

        The moment Dove enters the room, her eyes widen and he mouth is agape. I blush a little as she begins to squeal. “Oh God! You look so freaking cute! You look adorable, Robin!”

        Even through my blush, I smile. “Thank you!”

        She steps inside and sits on my bed, looking not intimidated by this sight. It makes me feel at ease. Not at all embarrassed.

        “I just wanted to check on my baby brother,” says Dove with a smile. “Are you feeling alright, Robin?”

        I nod with a smile. “Yeah, I feel good. Great, even. Thank you, Dove, for being so supportive and open to all this. You really are very mature and kind, and I am definitely proud to be your brother!”

        Dove smiles and leans forward, ruffling my hair like a little kid. “Hey, this is how we roll. I’ve got your back, you’ve got mine. It will be fun too! I can be the big sister and you the baby brother sometimes, and then I can be the younger sister and you the older brother! I’m wondering how that will work.”

        I chuckle. “Me too.”

        Dove leans forward. “I also wanted to tell you something. Carter asked me out. I said yes. You’re okay with that?”

        I smile on my inside, but I fold my arms and try to look tough. Which is ridiculous because I’m wearing baby clothes and a diaper. I speak with a deep voice. “Who gave you permission to date my best friend?”

        Dove rolls her eyes. “What are you going to do about it? Hit me with your rattle?”

        We both break into mild laughter. “Touché.”

        Dove then gets a mischievous smile. “Hey! Maybe I should check your diaper. I have to make sure my baby brother doesn’t get a rash.”

        “Don’t you dare!”, I say with a laugh, but Dove tries to lean forward and actually check my diaper for any sign of dampness.

        We end up lying in the bed, next to one another, and she quickly pops my pacifier into my mouth. I have no doubt. This is real love.

        Chapter Thirteen

        The smell of Saturday freshness reigns in the air.

        I smile as I knock on the door of the Baileys’ home. I think I feel excited, and happy about today. It is definitely going to be a good day. Amazing even. Yes, I have to believe that today will be the most amazing, fun day, and one full of love. The smile is not leaving my face, and I know that this will be a day that I will remember forever. I’m droning on too much about how great this day will be, aren’t I?

        Finally, the door opens and Mrs. Bailey smiles at me with a beaming smile.

        “Hey there, Carter,” says Mrs. Bailey with her trademark smile. “How is my favorite future son-in-law doing today?”

        I blush a little, but I laugh it off.

        Ever since Dove and I started dating a couple weeks ago, her mother has gotten so excited. I swear she is already planning the wedding or something. Dove keeps getting frustrated, saying to her parents that it is not that serious yet, and that they’re going to end up driving me off. I just smile through all that and laugh it off.

        As soon as I come in and kiss her in the cheek, I walk to the living room and find Hank Bailey reading something. He looks at me and smiles. “Hey there, son. I am so glad you could come. Robin is going to enjoy this so much. I think Gina left some food for you in the fridge, but in case you want to order take out or pizza, I left some money in the counter. If you need anything, call me.”

        I nod, gratefully. “Thank you, sir. Everything will be alright. We have stayed on our own before and the house is still standing.”

        He laughs at that. “You never know.”

        Then, my girlfriend comes down, all dressed up in her best business dress for her debate. It’s going to last all day and sadly enough, she only got two passes which she gave to her parents. She leans forward and kisses me in the cheek. “Hey love.”

        I kiss her back. “Hey, love. You look great! You’ll do just fine.”

        “I know,” she says with a beautiful lipstick-ed smile. “Now, we are running a bit late, so let’s get you all set up, Mr. Babysitter.”

        I chuckle at that, and I wave at her parents before I go up the stairs towards the upper level, ready for today’s fun to begin.

        We slowly creep into Robin’s room.

        I hide behind a the closet, out of his viewing range. I stare at the top drawer for a moment, which for the past few weeks, doesn’t have clothes any more, but stock with different types of Adult Baby diapers all piled up. It makes me smile to know that Robin and his family are making so much progress so fast.

        But today is our day.

        I peak a little, and gaze at him on the bed. He’s sleeping with Rhino against his chest and his pacifier on his mouth.

        Dove then walks to the center of the room and clears he throat.

        The sound of my girlfriend clearing her throat slowly awakens Robin from his slumber, who rubs sleep off his eyes and sits up, and I can hear the rustling of the diaper he’s wearing.

        I’m still hiding, and Robin doesn’t see me. He speaks softly. “Dove? What’s going on?”

        Dove smiles. “Well, it’s a debate day. Mom and Dad are coming along to watch me, so today you’re staying here. But don’t worry. We got you a babysitter!”

        Robin yawns, before freezing as the words sink in. He looks at his sister panicking. “Babysitter?! What?”

        Dove just shrugs. “You know, a babysitter. Some one to take care of you, change your diapers and all. You’re a baby after all.”

        I have to use all my inner power not to laugh at his reaction.

        “But…” he says with a stutter. “But we never agreed to this! I never told you I wanted to bring someone else into this!”

        His voice is panicked. He might freak out.

        Dove finally smiles madly. “Don’t worry, I think you’ll like your babysitter.”

        That’s my cue.

        With a dramatic move, I step into view and smile at my best friend, who has a dumbstruck expression on his face. He stares at me for a moment, and the color returns to his eyes before a huge grin breaks into his face.

        “Robin, this is my boyfriend, Carter Blake,” says Dove dramatically. “He’s agreed to take care of you today, so please, be a good boy and don’t give him trouble.”

        I laugh a little before walking towards Robin, sitting by the bed, and ruffling his hair. I wink at Dove. “Don’t worry, Dove. I’ll take good care of the little guy, and I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun.”

        Robin starts laughing too.

        With a last peck on my mouth (which makes Robin roll his eyes), Dove bids goodbye and leaves the room, her parents are probably already in the car, waiting for her.

        Once she’s gone, I turn to my best friend and smile.

        Three weeks since we all adapted to this baby side of him, but while I’ve seen him in diapers and baby clothes, there hasn’t been any real chance for me to baby him. Between school, and hanging out like normal friends do, we just haven’t had time. When Dove told me they were leaving for an entire day, I knew this was our chance to try this out.

        It helped me also think about how to deal with everything.

        “Okay, little guy,” I say tenderly, as if I was talking to a toddler. “How did you sleep? Did your rest up?”

        Robin seems to get the idea.

        Today, he’s not Robin Bailey, high school senior and ultimate bookworm, my best friend.

        Today, he’s Little Robin, a big baby who needs to be taken care of.

        He nods childishly and grabs Rhino, putting him on my lap.

        “Yep, I think Rhino had a good night too,” I say, rubbing the fur of the plushy. Then I turn to him. “First things first, little guy. I have to check to see if you’re wet.”

        Robin blushes a bit at first, so I quickly put his pacifier on his mouth and he started sucking. It is my way of letting him know that he’s going to be alright.

        I remove the covers off him, revealing he is wearing the blue onesie he got. I quickly unbutton the thing and slid two fingers into the leg holes. I make a knowing look. “Yep, you’re definitely wet, baby. We need to get you into a fresh diaper.”

        Robin nods and lays on his back while I grab the first clean diaper I find on his stack and also get a hold of the bottle of powder.

        I take a deep breath.

        This is going to be a first. The first time I change his diaper, and it makes me feel very nervous and excited at the same time.

        I’ve been looking at tutorial videos and making sure I get this right, I slowly un-tape the right side, then the left. He wiggles a little as I open the diaper. The smell of pee hits my nose, and the diaper sags open as I realize he was soaked. I smile. “Well, looks like you really needed a change.”

        He nods, and I proceed to remove the diaper.

        Grabbing some wipes, I clean his privates. He doesn’t seem to get any arousal over that. He’s so immersed into the baby role, he’s not feeling sexual at all, I guess. Quickly, I lift his legs and butt and put the new clean diaper underneath him. Then I proceed to generously powder his privates and butt, and finally, I lift the front of the diaper and tape it snugly.

        Before we know it, he’s freshly diaper.

        “There you go,” I say with a smile as I throw the wet diaper on the garbage. “You were such a good boy, Robin. You and I are so going to have fun!”

        Robin nods, still sucking his pacifier.

        I enter his bathroom quickly to wash my hands, and then I come back, and finally strap the buttons of his onesie again. I offer him my hand. “Come on, baby, you must be hungry.”

        Robin takes my hand and stands up.

        I lead him down to the kitchen, holding his hand all the time, because that’s what I’m supposed to do. Right now, he’s a baby.

        And he looks so innocent and cute, I feel so happy.


        Once we are on the kitchen, I urge him to sit on his usual chair, his diaper so puffy, he looks so comfortable. Then I proceed to get out some pancakes his mom left for us, and then I heat them up again just to make sure they’re good. I put syrup on them and put the plate in front of him. He looks at me with some sort of shyness. “Carter, can you…?”

        I realize what he wants, and I finish for him. “Want me to feed you, baby?”

        Robin nods, a smile breaking on his face. “Yep!”

        I laugh at his childish response, and proceed to cut his pancakes and fork them. Then I lift the piece and make airplane noises. “Brr, brrr, here comes the airplane!”

        He laughs childishly, and opens his mouth. I slowly feed him, and he chews happily, smiling brightly, like never before.

        I ruffle his hair. “Good baby, Robin. You’re such a good baby!”

        Then he grabs his sippy cup, which I filled with orange juice, and drinks.

        I really feel happy, and I know he does too.

        Afterwards, I get out a jar of baby applesauce for him. I thought he might appreciate the idea, and I think he does because his eyes brighten as he seems me unscrew the baby food. “Yummy!”

        With a smile, I start spoon-feeding him. “There you go, little guy. Eat up so your tummy is full!”

        I’ve never seen someone eat with such a smile on their face.


        “Okay baby,” I say as I let him sit on the living room’s floor. He has his legs spread wide, it’s like he has trouble closing them because of the thickness of the diaper. I slowly bring in a bucket of LEGOs. “I got this LEGO box smuggled in here days ago. I was waiting for this! Would you like to play with them?”

        Robin nods eagerly, sucking his pacifier.

        I nod and spread the mini LEGO pieces all over the carpet. I sit across Robin, and smile at him. “Okay, why don’t we build a very huge tower?”

        He nods, and we start playing and building with the pieces.

        We play for solid thirty minutes, not really talking. We’re just content with each other’s company. Our friendship, our bond, has really transcended words. I just glance at him, and he looks happy, sucking his pacifier and playing with toys. He looks relaxed, carefree, innocent and happy. He looks like he has everything.

        I think about how much it must have hurt him to hide this side of him.

        Not anymore.

        Out of instinct, I jump to him and start tickling him on his ticklish spots. I know them so well. “Tickle monster!”

        Robin starts laughing and giggling as I tickle him. It’s a different type of laugh. It’s so innocent and cute, as if he really is enjoying life for the first time ever.

        I stop tickling him and before I can think of it, I kiss him on the cheek. I speak softly to him. “You’re my baby brother, Robin. And I’m here to take care of you. You’re so cute.”

        He looks at me innocently, and nods, but keeps sucking his pacifier. Sitting him up, we resume playing with the LEGOs, but the smile on both our faces keeps radiating.

        After forty minutes, he slowly stops and drops his hand.

        “What’s wrong, baby?” I ask, and he looks down and closes his eyes.

        That’s when it hits me. He’s using his diaper, probably flooding it as I stare at him. I didn’t think he’d be comfortable peeing in front of me, but he seems to be pretty comfortable with this. He makes a relaxed face as he voids his bladder without care, like a baby.

        I smile. “You’re wetting? Good baby. I’ll change you later, okay?”

        He nods as he finishes peeing. He smiles at me and it makes me so proud that I ruffle his hair with so much affection. His smile is unique.


        It’s been the best day ever.

        Right now is 10 PM, and we’ve been having so much bonding time and fun today. I changed him once, and he excused himself to go number two. I knew he wasn’t comfortable with pooping his diaper in front of me, let alone having me change that. I told him that we’ll work on that, and I’ll eventually change his messy diapers if he wants. He agreed.

        So, after a full day of childish games, and video games, and movies, I think we can call this a very successful Baby Day.

        So now we’re laying on the floor, watching baby cartoons. I glance at him, he’s sucking his thumb, holding Rhino close, mesmerized by The Lion Guard. I keep glancing at him, and I ruffle his hair with affection. I smile. “You were a very good baby boy today, Robin. I’m proud of you.”

        He nods, thumb still in mouth, then I see him yawn.

        “Sleepy, baby?” I say with inquiry.

        He nods, rubbing his eyes.

        I know this is going to be the pinnacle of this day. I slowly turn the TV off and stand up, before leaning down and pulling him up, almost carrying him in my arms. I’m taller, and way stronger because of the swimming, so I can deal with his weight for now. I smile once he is standing. “Let’s get you to bed, little guy.”

        Agreeing, I take his hand and lead him up to his room, his hand clutching Rhino all the way.
        Finally, he leans down on the bed.

        “Okay, Robin,” I say tenderly. “I’ll be super right back, okay?”

        He nods, and I rush downstairs to get the final tool for the enjoyment of this day. The final touch. The piece of resistance.

        I fix him a baby bottle, full of chocolate milk with some sugar, and I smile at the idea of bottle-feeding him.

        Once I’m back to the room, we stare at each other and I lift the baby bottle and shake it with a smile.

        “Baba!” he says with a laugh, and it makes me laugh as well.

        I quickly tuck him in, before joining him in bed, snuggling next to him and putting an arm around his shoulders. I pull him close, and in the end he rests his head on my chest. I don’t think we’ve ever felt so close. It’s like our love is so strong we’re drawn to one another like freaking magnets. Nothing can tear us apart.

        Tenderly, I put the nipple on his mouth and he latches to it, sucking the baby bottle with earnest.

        He closes his eyes, drinking his milk, and snuggling me. I know all he can hear now is the beating of my heart against my chest and into his ear. I hope it is comforting.

        I hold his baby bottle with one hand, while the other rubs circles on his back and occasionally rubs his hair.

        He’s an eighteen year old, sucking on a baby bottle, wearing a diaper which status I’m not sure, wearing baby clothes and resting against his male best friend. It’s not normal. It’s not usual.

        But it feels perfect.

        “You’re so cute, Robin,” I say softly, soothing him. “You’re the cutest big baby in the world. And I love you. I love you so much.”

        I feel so much emotion in me, and eventually he lets go of the bottle once it is empty. He snuggles closer to me and closes his eyes, but manages to mumble something before dozing off. “You are the most amazing person on the planet.”

        I smile, and slowly place his pacifier on his mouth.

        “No, I’m not the most amazing person on the planet. You are.”

        The applause was deafening.

        Parents, teachers and students all cheered and applauded as a four year generation of students finished their senior year, and welcomed Graduation with earnest smiles. They were all proud, they were all happy. A long period had ended, a stage of their life had ended. High school was over, and they had college ahead of them. Well, some of them. But all of them welcomed what was coming with open arms.

        Robin Bailey stood at the balcony of the second floor of his science building.

        He was still wearing his graduate gown, and the band around his neck that declared him Valedictorian. He gave a very cool speech about self-acceptance and to be true to oneself. To be brave. Everyone liked his words, and he was pretty sure that was one of the best speeches they’ve heard coming from an eighteen year old boy. He felt proud.

        For the first time in his life, he was proud of who he was. 100% proud.

        He could see down everyone who was leaving the Graduation ceremony, a lot of his friends and classmates with their gown, surrounded by proud parents and siblings.

        His eyes gazed down and focused on his own parents, and his sister. Hank Bailey was proudly holding his son’s plaque and diploma, while Gina Bailey was sharing some laugh with her friends. Dove was taking selfies with anyone she could find.

        His heart filled with love and happiness. He knew that he had the best, most amazing family in the world. He knew he was going to thrive in life because he had accepting and supporting parents, and a great sister to rely on when things got tough.

        A family that was proud of him.

        “Penny for your thoughts.”

        Robin blinked, and looked back to find his best friend, Carter Blake, approach him with a ear-to-ear grin. His best friend was also wearing his Graduation gown, holding a Swim Team trophy he was awarded but lacking the golden band.

        Carter leaned next to him, side by side.

        Robin took a deep breath. “I’m just thinking. It was a big year. For me at least. I was happy before, but not completely. I was keeping a very shameful secret, and it prevented me from feeling this happy. But now I do. It feels nice. Lots of changes, but it was all worthwhile.”

        Carter nods, knowingly. “Yeah, lots of changes. Diaper changes at least.”

        Robin rolled his eyes and elbowed Carter. “Dork.”

        His best friend laughed, but then put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at him with love. “Robin, seriously, you did great. Yeah, it was heavy. But you made it, and now look at you. Honor student, and happy as fuck. I was so glad I got to be there and see you become your true self. I’m very proud of you, bro.”

        Robin smiled. “I know. I couldn’t have done it without you. You’re a true friend, Carter Blake. The world needs more people like you.”

        “Naw,” said Carter with a laugh. “I think it needs more people like you, too. Anyway, we have a great journey ahead. College! I’m so glad we get to bunk together and be roommates! Have you thought how amazing that will be?”

        Robin nods. “It will be awesome!”

        “Yeah, I mean, we’re going to be studying all day but we can have night-long movie marathons and lazy weekend just with each other,” said Carter excited. “And frat parties!”

        Robin gave him a joking look. “Diaper changes every morning and bedtime bottle feedings too! Remember?”

        Carter snorted. “Yeah, that too.”

        Robin knew it then. He loved Carter.

        With all his heart.

        Without saying anything, Robin warped his arms around Carter and held him tight for a solid minute. They held each other for a while, knowing how much they meant to one another. Carter finally pulls him back, but smiles. “Hey, I guess that was a long hug. No need to give them more reason to think we’re gay and dating.”

        Robin laughed, and nodded. “I love you.”

        “I love you too,” said Carter and patted his best friend’s back. “Now let’s get going. Sammy and the others are assembling a massive Graduation party and it’s going to be awesome! Can I get wasted? Please!”

        Robin just laughed and they walked to the mass of people, side by side.

        They were, undoubtedly, best friends for life.
        THE END (?)
        Last edited by kik91; 07-07-2018, 02:27 PM.


          Great story!
          I love how you have given the characters life and a interesting backstory. Rob is projecting his fears about how his family will react, but not letting his family show that they still love him. I wish I had a friend like Carter as he seems to be a Loyal Protector of the people he calls friends or family.

          I am happy to see this story come to a happy ending. Will there be a sequel with Carter, Rob and Dove? Thank you for sharing your story with us here.

          (Reason for edit, fixed name issue and corrected some verbiage)
          Last edited by Jayme Ann; 07-07-2018, 09:41 AM.
          True friendship is found within the faces of those who truly care.


            Originally posted by Jayme Ann View Post
            Great story!
            I love how you have given the characters life and a interesting backstory. Rob is projecting his fears about how his family will react, but not letting his family show that they still love him. I wish I had a friend like Carter as he seems to be a Loyal Protector of the people he calls friends or family.

            I am happy to see this story come to a happy ending. Will there be a sequel with Carter, Rob and Dove? Thank you for sharing your story with us here.

            (Reason for edit, fixed name issue and corrected some verbiage)
            Hii!! Thank you!!1 I am soo happy you liked my story!! It's pretty special for me!!

            I actually have 3 ideas for stories with them! One of them is his online friend, Richie, and his story. Another is a mini-story during Carter and Robin's summer vacation in which Robin goes full baby for two days and Carter takes care of him, and they try new things like messy diaper changes and stuff. And the proper sequel, in which they are in their first year of college and Robin starts seeing someone and Carter gets jealous.

            Thanks so much!


              You know I normally read the stories mainly to look for technical issues like special characters being broken, but this one? Sorry I couldn't even do that. I just can't get past the DNA test for a broken arm. In no reality would that be a reasonable procedure to perform for a broken arm. Blood typing for a transfusion? Yeah. Basic tests to check for elevated white blood cell counts and other issues that are potential signs of an infection? Sure, that's even pretty much standard, but a DNA test? No way in hell.


                I enjoyed this. You went for the intense side of what it's like revealing a personal hell, when it's the guilt rather than the actuality that's the problem. Well done.