Like many I too never “grew out of” diaper’s oh sure my parents potty trained me but the second I became a “big brother” to my siblings that’s the moment when I found “diaper’s” again. With only a two year age gap between myself and brother’s fitting into their baby diaper’s was a snap, in fact it was an early memory of me begging our babysitter at the time to put me in a diaper and not tell my parents. She caved and within a few seconds I found myself looking at myself in a mirror pulling my pants up & down and shouting…..
“Paul’s got a diaper”…”Paul’s got a diaper”….”Paul’s got a diaper”
In short at four years old I had sort of found “paradise” sort of, anyways time past and while the diaper’s left my desire for them & all things “little” never really went away from daydreaming on boring bus rides about being “Mommy’s baby boy again” to watching all those references on popular kids shows of the 90’s. Whenever I saw a “main character” regressed I wanted that to be me…….
Fast forward through the advent of the net, the ABDL community and the ABDL market place and in my late teens/early twenty’s I got small tastes here & there of finding “paradise” once again but nothing to concrete. Mainly due to the fact that as a “millennial” I had found myself back in my parents’ home after college. That radio degree sort of fell through after 2008. But I persevered, took a hellhole job at Wal-Mart for two years as a truck unload’er with a college degree, finally began making a living doing public speaking gigs shortly after, voice over work but still couldn’t leave my old room. Sure I pay rent but it doesn’t feel the same. While my brothers are raising the bar, with one in accounting & the other enlisted in armed services left home and never looked back sort of making me feel like the “baby” of the family. My parents often traveled giving me time to indulge in my ABDL side with diapers, onises, bottles ect. Even had the nerve of getting into the dating side of the ABDL world and its tuff and rough but I finally found a woman who I loved and who loved me and my ABDL side……Lilly.
The first time we “liked” each other’s profile and sent each other pic’s and I must say while I was shocked she loved some of my “baby fat”. I was stunned by her, immediately her hazel brown hair and icy blue eyes popped out of the screen and she was at least in my opinion the picture of perfection again in my opinion a knock out pure and simple. Heck she was only three years older than me at that time in 2014 (29) and for the first time in my limited but intimate dating experience’s she was taller than me, I stand 5’5 while she’s just six feet even along with a "toned" body type nothing like a body builder or anything like that but her past of playing high school b-ball certainly is evident. We had so much in common besides the whole ABDL thing.
From fave movies that should have won the Oscar in 94 the “Shawshank Redemption”, fave vacation which turned out we are both a couple of luxury cruiser’s, best pizza toppings well that’s wasn’t an exact match but hey nobody’s THAT perfect lol. We also found that we both loved acting and perusing our passions by any means necessary, well especially for Lilly that would ring more true for her than me. We “met” back in 2013, had all the Skype dates we could stand and heck after the tenth or so we both agreed to meet for a weekend in Toronto. I lived in Ancaster, Ontario while she lived in Kingston, Ontario respectively so Toronto would be the half-way point from both of our homes in the summer of 2014 for a weekend. I was excited, nervous and thrilled to be meeting a woman who’s image was the first thing I saw in the morning and last thing I thought about before bed. However we wanted this weekend to be like our dates just about us. Sure we had talked about the whole ABDL stuff, I sent her pics of me in my diaper’s, she always played the mommy so she loved anything I sent or colored for her but that’s as far as we went so far in that department and I wasn’t thinking anything would come up that weekend at all. So I arrived in Toronto first and I remember pacing around this grand train station like it was a small closet I was just so envious and afraid I mean what if she couldn’t make it? What if she just stood me up? All dumb stupid fears that were put to rest the moment I heard her shout
Yes I know “PAULY” I hated that nick name in school but when she said it over Skype I sort of gave in. I walked towards her platform, helped her off the train took her bag and BAM we embraced and kissed right there on the spot and it didn’t matter that we were in anybody’s way at that moment we were both where we needed to be in each other’s arms’ for the first time.
It was so wonderful to actually hug & kiss this beautiful woman right there in the train station but what I didn’t expect was her actually having the strength to lift me just a few inches off the ground on our initial embrace, she was in much better shape than myself in fact even her grip was strong as she insisted on holding my hand the entire way to the hotel I sort of blushed but thought nothing of it especially since I was the one who booked the hotel room and yes if you’re wondering my mother didn’t raise no fool but a gentlemen and since this was our “first” date face to face I booked a room with two queen bed’s instead of just one king. It’s the right thing to do period. That said the moment that was over she again took my hand as we went upstairs and headed up to the room, now it wasn’t a stunning view of downtown Toronto although if I’m being honest here I already had the perfect view in Lilly. However I wasn’t really paying much attention because by the time I turned around checking the coffee machine for a decent pod of “Deep Roast” blend and then I asked
“So which bed do you want? Near the door or window?”
She didn’t say anything, instead I could feel her glare not a mean stare but a stare none the less as I looked over to her. Lying on top of her bed, her suitcase opened and a white object resting perfectly in the center of it, the object that brought us together, a diaper. I’ve never had what is called a “poker face” so I’m sure while I felt my fingers go ice cold my face must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I mean I’ve come to accept and really enjoy the diaper/abdl parts of my life but I almost felt a tad bit betrayed I mean we both agreed not to really bring up this part of our relationship. This was supposed to be a diaper free weekend, a weekend about Lilly & I just us. I’m sure by now my unusual silence was killing the mood as Lilly instantly spoke up with a look of remorse and pity written across her face as she looked at mine.
“Ohh sweetheart, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to upset you with this.”
I was still off in my own thoughts as Lilly in one fluid motion almost maternal like she wrapped her arms around me pulling me close to her chest as she softly stroked the back of my head. I can’t lie here, it was amazing to be held this close & this lovingly by this woman of my dreams but I had no intension of staying in this “little” space for much longer as I slowly pushed away and stared into Lilly’s soft blue eyes…….
“No, no Lilly it’s I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have overreacted in that way, I mean after all it’s only a diaper.”
Lilly’s eyes lit up imminently any worry she might have had quickly disappeared from her face causing me to also brighten up and flash a smile as this beautiful woman kept me wrapped around her arms.
“I’m so glad Paul. I really didn’t mean to upset you with this more of a surprise actually.”
“Well I was certainly surprised but now maybe I can surprise you by picking the place we go out to eat at.”
“Now I’m the one who can’t wait on BOTH those surprises”
What does she mean both? I thought as she turned and picked up the diaper and motioned for me to “lie down” on the bed beside me.
“Ummm Lilly I said I was okay with you bringing the diaper but I don’t think I want to wear one today especially since this was supposed to be a weekend about us.”
She said with such an authoritative tone I had not heard in a long while, the last time she was that “mad” at me was during an early Skype season. I was standing there showing off my diaper at the time and I the urge to go to the bathroom but Lilly demanded that I “Stand and Deliver” on sight to make a “pee pee” in my “pampers” in front of her. I wasn’t expecting that at the time, I’m sure I babbled some lame excuse but she was firm. Telling me to “Make Potties” in my “pampers”….I did….and her smile lit up my screen.
I was brought back to reality as her once soft blue eyes now turned into icy blue daggers aimed directly at me and her once gentle grip became significantly stronger around my hand.
“I certainly remember what this weekend was supposed to be about; getting to know each other, getting comfortable with each other and most of all seeing if it would work between the both of us. And Paul if this is going to work between us, then I’m going to need YOU to wear THIS between your legs because we both know that THIS is a big part of who you are but most importantly Paul it’s a big part of why I think I’ve been falling for you.”
It was the most shocking, brutally and perhaps the most ingratiating statement ever made about who I really am when it comes to my ABDL side. My shock was quickly placed aside as Lilly again leaned forward and the two of us locked lips once again. As we both came up for air I don’t know why and maybe I’ll never know but I reached down and took the diaper from Lilly’s hand.
“Alright but I’m going to put this ONE on myself and after dinner I’m taking it off.”
I thought my firm tone would set things straight and while I could see a small sight of disappointment in her eyes, her slight grin on her face told a different story.
“Whatever makes YOU most comfortable.”
She said with anther quick peck on my cheek as I turned around and headed towards the bathroom making sure the door was shut & locked. I turned and tossed the diaper onto the sink and took a deep breath as I splashed some cold water on my face. Looking up into the mirror I could see my face still looked as red as a tomato even without Lilly demanding to diaper me. I also felt like a fool for not taking the opportunity of a lifetime, for not making a dream of mine coming true. To have a woman change me into a diaper not just any woman but the woman of my dreams but that’s NOT why I came here this weekend. It was just supposed to be about us and not this……
It was the first time I looked at it and despite my objections earlier I couldn’t help but smile a tad after looking at it. It was a Bambino Teddy, one of my absolute fave’s diapers up to this point. In fact I’ve always been a fan of the Bambino brand and the fact that Lilly remembered which diapee was my favorite just melted my heart just a tad and also got me excited at the same time.
“What’s taking so long in there?”
I heard Lilly’s muffled voice shout from behind the door.
“If you needed to be helped I’d be more than welcome to offer it or do I need to walk in there and march you out onto this bed and diaper you up all by myself?”
I was both aroused & embarrassed at the same time and again while it was a tempting offer for “help” I wasn’t ready for that step yet.
“I’ll be out in just a second.”
I meekly replied, in reality I was still back in the moment and while everything in my head told me NOT to unfold the diaper my hands were already un-wrapping this slice of heaven open. I quickly pulled off my shorts & boxers, this was it the moment of truth will I or won’t I? Like it was even a question at this point. After years of diapering myself whether I was standing, sitting or lying down this took no time at all and within moments the diaper was tightly wrapped around me and I was once again back to my “happy” place. Taking a few moments to look at myself in the mirror I could only imagine what my six year old self would have to say now. Once again in a babyish diaper, standing in front of a mirror and with another woman waiting for her “baby”. I have to admit though I thought this diaper was much more bulkier than I had previous remembered. I mean my butt certainly did puff out more than usual but it’s a diaper that’s what diaper’s do.
Now was the real moment of truth Lilly. I mean I had sent her pics of me in diapers but she had never seen me in one in person and I’m betting on the fact that since it was her diaper that I was wearing she would probably want her money’s worth. My heart raced, my fingers turned ice cold as I reached for the door knob and began turning it slowly it was now or never laughter or love, shame or success a future or a bitter past. I closed my eyes as finally the door opened to a resounding high pitch squeal…….
“Awwwwww…….LOOK AT HOW CUTE YOU ARE”
I slowly opened my eyes as Lilly stood in front of me sporting one of the most wonderful smiles I have ever seen, the picture of happiness and joy was standing in front of me. Why? For simply standing there in diapers I’m sure I even sported a smile at that point. For all the years of doubt, shame and disgust that comes with this lifestyle in that one moment I felt like it was all worth it, I felt overjoyed that my fears were never realized and that the dream of wearing diapers around people I loved seemingly came true. Lilly was quick to once again embrace me but unlike before her hands quickly reached my padded rear and she squeezed and squealed…….
“Oooohhhhhh what a cute diapered butt, who has a cute diapered butt? You do….yes you do…..I have such a cute diapered baby…yes I do"
She kept patting my diapered bottom and listening to it crinkle all the while she was smiling at me whispering into my ear,
“You know your loving it; I can see your diaper starting to poke out in the front”
Lilly was right, I was loving it! But like all good things this too had to come to an end as Lilly kissed me on the cheek and told me to get dressed so we could go out, the first part of this journey was over but the adventure into the unknown was just beginning and I was about to walk or in this case waddle into it pampers and all……