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Agent Dark (A Diaper Dimension Story) ~ Chapter 1 posted on 11/26/2019

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    [Incomplete] Agent Dark (A Diaper Dimension Story) ~ Chapter 1 posted on 11/26/2019

    Hello guys, it's me. I've decided to post this, a story that I doubt very strongly that any of you had ever seen before! This is a Diaper Dimension Story with a little bit of world-building added into it, I'm not sure how much yet, but it's not LotR level, no one could out-Tolkien J.R.R. Tolkien. The purpose of writing this story is to go where none have before, the main character in this story isn't nearly as helpless against the Amazon's...techniques...as the vast majority of her kind are. In this story we'll also be exploring some of the consequences the Amazon's frequent kidnappings would have, and also why nothing's changed for so long, canonically, this tale takes place a number of decades after the vast majority of Diaper Dimension stories. So without further ado, let's get down to it! My first story in years.

    Prologue








    It was a starlit night on the beach, this beach was part of an archipelago of islands, this particular beach was so isolated, with the closest settlements so far away that there was no light pollution. The wind blew on the palm trees as the waves washed up on the beach, lapping at the sand like the tongue of a dog whose thirst will never be quenched. The night sky was so populated with stars that it was the blue of the preindustrial night sky, instead of the light-polluted black night of the modern era.

    But just because this island, and the twenty closest to it was uninhabited, doesn't mean that nobody was there. Some distance off the shore, a light began to shine, it was a foglight from a boat, the light turned off then on again. However, the light wasn't flickering or malfunctioning, someone on that ship was blinking the light for a reason nobody outside the ship knew. The blinking went on for a while then stopped.

    Then, half a minute after the blinking had ceased, on the shore, behind the tree line, another light shone in answer to the boat. The light blinked in morse code:

    Password accepted. Come ashore, true friends.

    The crew of the boat collectively sighed in relief, then they activated the motor and propelled across the water straight to the shore.

    The motor stopped as the boat reached close enough to the shore, the momentum of the vessel caused it to beach itself on the sands. Then the occupants of the ship got out, their heavy feet dropping to the sand, but when they made contact with the ground, their steps were surprisingly light. The captain of the boat, an old man with grey hair, the strongest of the entire group, reached his arms forward, and one by one, helped the smallest passengers of his vessel off the ship.

    They were tiny, as a matter of fact they were only a third of his kind's height, and as for him, they didn't even reach up to his knees. They were Lieti, those across the sea, where the boat that carried them came from, call these people 'Littles'.

    They looked up in amazement at the stars, blinking in wonder, they were quiet, so silent they're probably hearing their own heartbeats. This was the first time in years some of them had even seen the sky, and among their number there were those who had been mutilated, whether their ability to talk was taken away, or they had surgeries to change their gender, unable to stand, or even look like actual babies. Half of the Lieti had been put in wheelchairs, a few were wearing helmets that soothed their minds, broken after extensive Amazon conditioning.

    The silence lasted only a few seconds.

    "It's true," the red-haired man in a wheelchair whispered in wonder as tears streaked down his face. "I remember these constellations, you kept your word, we're back! We're home!"

    "But how do we know we're actually being returned?!" One blond 24-year-old girl said venomously, her eyes were so wide that it was obvious she was insane, and not the kind you could fake either. "these abominations more than likely put us here to kill us all! Amazons never do anything good for us!"

    "Don't take my word for it," The old man said. "You can ask the welcoming party yourself."

    And the crowd turned to face inland, only now realizing that there was a group of people walking up to them.

    "Welcome back," the leader of the group said in a voice muffled by his mask. They were all dressed in black, and their faces were totally concealed by masks, not a single bit of skin was showing. They all carried guns, assault rifles, rocket launchers, and other weapons used, and manufactured exclusively by the Amazons of the mainland. The issue was that the whole party were Lieti, and their weapons were sized to match their smaller size.

    "It's been too long since you've seen this place, your suffering is over," the group's leader continued. "You'll finally be able to return home and enjoy a life free from the scourges your former masters forced on you. But before we send you back home, there's some things we have to go over."

    The leader took out a small electronic pad, an I-phone with a touchscreen. He clicked it and a bright light turned on.

    The crew of the boat then turned to the passengers they were ferrying.

    "Please line up," the leader said. "We won't let them hurt you."

    After a brief struggle (and a violent one from the girl who cracked), the littles were all lined up. The leader of the gang walked forward and put his I-phone to the faces of the 'trafficked' Littles. For most of them when he put the phone close to their heads the screen flashed yellow, then when he got to the fourth in line, a young man who was wearing a therapeutic helmet, the phone's light flashed green.

    The leader sighed after the green light disappeared from the screen, he was glad this individual was being returned, but he wished he was in better condition.

    "Simon Cave, it's time for you to go home," the leader said sadly in a quiet voice. He waved his hand, and a pair from the group rushed over and grabbed him, when they did The leader continued scanning the rescues. Simon Cave was carried gently into the treeline, blissfully unaware of what was going on around him.

    Later on the Leader found another little who's light flashed green, the crazy girl who was practically boiling with rage.

    "Nicole Scarborough?" The Leader said in shock and horror, in response to him saying that two more men in black rushed over to escort her.

    She laughed, "Nicole...? Who on Earth is Nicole? Sounds made up."

    Her laughter then died down all of a sudden.

    "Nicole Scarborough? ...That's my name?" She said thoughtfully.

    "What happened to you?"

    "You don't wanna know," she said faintly before being taken away. "you don't wanna know...you don't wanna know...you don't wanna know..." she repeated in a hollow and terrified voice as she was escorted away.

    It didn't take long to scan all of the rescues, at that point the rest of the Littles were all guided past the treeline where their passage to the rehab center awaited.

    "Only three," the leader said as he put his palm on his mask. "Among the hundred we sent out, only three were extracted from the Supercontinent this year."

    "We'll find the others," the Captain reassured his compatriot. "They're not dead. We just have to look a little harder."

    "I know that," the leader said, his voice remaining smooth and collected. "It's just...I knew Lieti going to universities on the Supercontinent being snatched was a problem, but for said problem to be this rampant? For all of them to be kidnapped from the same university they attended at the same time? The Amazons halfway emptied that year's class! It's just...just..."

    The leader simply shook his head, "please tell me you have some good news."

    "GEAR," the Captain said, the leader turned in response to his code name. "I found an opening in Albion."

    Everyone went silent, even more so than before. Everyone knew this day was coming, they did not know when, many believed that it wouldn't happen in their own lifetimes, but nevertheless they prepared constantly. For a good portion of the David Task Force, membership is hereditary, they were in the group for their whole lives, as their parents before them, and their parents before them. The David Task force was founded 130 years ago in the aftermath of the incredibly brief Lietti Civil War, after the old puppet government was removed, of course the Lietti made it look like the war was a rebellion that had been immediately crushed in order to keep the Amazons away from their land, and it worked.

    "Continue..."

    "The president of Albion has a daughter, her birthday is coming up, and he's ordering a Little be shipped straight to his mansion as a present, the package is due to arrive two weeks from today."

    The crowd began to mutter among themselves, they all knew what this meant.

    "...What does this person look like?" GEAR asked the captain, the crew staying out of the way in the background.

    The old man smiled, his chapped lips threatening to break open.

    "Female, black hair, brown eyes, thin as a rail, pale as snow, a tame personality, is a teenager big for her age, and her name is Delila...do you have an agent who matches that description?"

    GEAR smiled underneath his mask, cracking his chapped lips, his eyes lit up and filled with a fire they hadn't known for decades.

    "DARK," GEAR called back to the crowd, and noticed the figure he called out to was already approaching, soundlessly walking on the sand.

    "I live to serve," the agent proudly responded as she approached GEAR.

    "Are you prepared to undertake this mission? All of our kind, in Liet and beyond depend on you."

    "Ready as I'll ever be," Agent DARK said, her voice altered by her mask. "This has been a long time coming."

    "Excellent," GEAR said. "But keep in mind that should you fail in this task, the punishment they will inflict upon you will be far worse than anything ever inflicted upon our kind."

    DARK felt fear twist her insides ever so slightly underneath her eagerness to go on the mission. She had made her peace that if she was going to do this, she would have to go to the bathroom in diapers and suckle baby bottles and pacifiers for a long time, possibly the rest of her life. But no matter what she felt, no matter how conflicted she is, her mind had been made up long ago.

    "It doesn't matter," she said immediately after GEAR's warning as the wind began to blow harder. "I won't back out."

    "...Very well," GEAR said and nodded. "DRAPE and ORICHALCUM will accompany you on your mission, as well as another agent that will not be named. The former is already on site."

    Delila nodded and walked toward the boat, and the Amazons began to get back in. The Captain put his hands on the ground palms up, Delila stepped on them, and she was lifted on to the boat.

    "Thank you," she said.

    "No problem," The Captain replied before getting back on the boat.

    All of the occupants of the vessel were hanging on except Delila, then they felt the boat lurch violently as it was pulled back into the sea. What was behind the force pulling their boat back to the sea was a mechanical tentacle that was placed underwater on the beach they landed at. If their ship didn't identify as an allied vessel then that tentacle would have penetrated the vessel's hull, bursting out from the deck, and pulled the ship underwater, drowning everyone on board.

    The agent didn't react or show any signs of falling down, she kept her balance perfectly until the tentacle let go of the boat.

    "Dang lady, you've got the best sealegs I've ever seen!" The boy operating the foglight said.

    "Thank you," Delila said genuinely, her smile fading behind her mask. "Now, I think it's time for me to change into the other uniform."

    The crew then brought out the supplies, once they were all gathered they returned to their duties, looking away from her.

    Delila sighed as she removed her mask, "No, you're going to have to do it for me. I need to get accustomed to the full experience as soon as possible."

    The rest of the crew looked very uncomfortable, all of them averted their eyes from her.

    The Captain immediately grabbed Delila and laid her down on the changing table. He removed her cloak first, then her black combat pants, then the standard-issue David Task Force Women's Underwear, a comfy and surprisingly sturdy pair of black undershorts. Delila blushed slightly when her underwear was removed, she was thankful it was too dark for the Amazon Captain to notice. The Captain picked up her legs and slid the...her diaper underneath the Lieti's rear end, he rubbed lotion all over Delila's hairless nether regions until she was covered. The Captain pulled the front of the diaper over DARK's pelvis, he put the side tabs up and they fuzed with the front of the diaper, then the garment suddenly squeezed until it was secured airtight around the Lieti's waist.

    Delila got up and looked at her new pants, she poked the front of it, and rubbed her hand all along the back, almost seemingly admiring the design of her incredibly thick new undergarment. These diapers were state of the art Amazon technology, manufactured specifically for Amazons venturing to the islands to put captured Lieti in. The outside is waterproof and durable, the carrying capacity is ridiculous, able to hold two day's worth of messings and wettings.

    The Amazons could have put their legendary wealth towards improving their infrastructure, or advancing medical science, or even cleaning up the oceans, these guys haven't cured cancer, yet their diapers are one of the most advanced things about them, DARK thought as she shook her head. And the Amazons call us stupid.

    Delila took off her long sleeved combat shirt, she had found herself 35 pounds lighter than when she entered the boat. She stretched, relieved to have all of that armor off of her.

    The Captain approached her with a sundress and a strapless bra, she could tell both were a deep red with her night vision, but the dim boat lights couldn't allow the Amazons to see it. She removed her bra and gave it to another Amazon, who put it where the rest of her clothes were stored. Delila put on the strap-on and the dress, and the switch was complete.

    "Punch it," the captain said to the one operating the motor, the boat fled into the night, the engine revving loudly as they made their way back to the mainland.

    The Captain opened a box that looked like a coffin, it was where Lieti traffickers stored the people they were kidnapping. Delila entered it without a word, the Captain sealed her in, and then the boat was identical to every other Amazon Ship leaving Liet's waters.


    The boat motored on for a while, the lights on the boat were completely turned off, they were trying to be stealthy, the motor on the boat was designed to propel the ship as quickly and as quietly as possible. The Treaty of Rachel the inhabitants of Liet were forced to sign included among its clause the fact that all Littles are not allowed to attack Amazon civilian ships no matter the circumstances, even if they were attacking Lieti ships. This means that Amazons could design 'civilian' vessels that allowed the traffickers to get away from the continent of Liet and surrounding islands with every legal protection any normal civilian vessel would have. The trafficker ships travel almost entirely unmolested by would-be rescue parties, or any wandering Lieti ship that decided to intercept.

    "Uh oh, incoming," the foglight operator said. "Fishing boat ahead of us to our left."

    "Did they see us? I hope not, I really don't feel like having to deal with that again," the motor operator said.

    The fishing boat came into view, unlike the amazon's vessel, it wasn't built for stealth, the lights on it were bright, it was massive and heavily armored, ironically dwarfing the Trafficker's boat. All of the Lieti's seagoing vessels were designed to repel attacks from ships like the one that DARK was being transported on. They were all massive, expensive, and old, but Lieti traffickers in the past boarded ships and kidnapped their crews to the point where the losses in human capital reached pandemic levels. The Trafficker's vessels were not military assets, and none of the occupants were soldiers, current or former, meaning as a civilian Vessel, Traffickers get through a loophole allowing them to do whatever they want, and legally, the Littles that dared counterattacked would get sued for billions of dollars individually, which in turn gets shoved to the state to pay, if the Liet couldn't choke up the money, the offenders get sold.

    "Ah crap, they're turning, they did see us," the foglight operator said.

    The Treaty of Rachel forbade the Little ships themselves from attacking...but that didn't mean the civilian crew had that same restriction when the amazons were on their own ships.

    Several minutes later, the much bigger and louder 'Little' Ship had sailed next to the Trafficker's vessel, then they fishermen began throwing the hardest objects they could find at it. It sounded like a hailstorm, but Delila heard her fellow countrymen spitting curses and insults at the Amazons at the top of their lungs.

    She was annoyed that her transport was being impeded, but she agreed and understood that her fellow countrymen had every right to do so.

    "Marco, get us out of here as fast as you can before they start shooting us!" the Captain said to the person operating the motor.

    Then just like that DARK heard gunshots ring out, and these were not periodical, they were rapidfire, as if the entire crew was unloading bullets on the ship's roof. DARK was almost 100% sure some of the fishers were shooting machine guns from the boat that was fifty feet taller than her transport, she felt a slight tinge of fear rise in her, the boat lurched as it picked up speed, it bounced as it chopped the waves and grew many times louder. The sounds of gunfire stopped, no Lieti ship could catch up with an amazon vessel, only the Solomon Class Destroyer could keep up, and that was a top secret project.

    The boat sped on for a long, long time, eventually Delila felt a pressure in her abdomen, she felt hesitant, but that was only for a moment after she felt it. The next instant she tried to release it, but nothing came, she was too apprehensive.

    Delila scowled and tried to push it out, her face relaxed when warmth spread across the front of her diaper.

    About an hour after her first wetting, the boat slowed down, and the Trafficker's Vessel continued on its way, nothing happened for the duration of the journey.

    Delila heard someone knock, the hatch where food and water would be given to her, or any other Lieti trafficked across the ocean, slid open. The Captain's face looked down at her.

    "We made it," he said ominously, his breath coming out in visible puffs, the sea is surprisingly cold at night. "We're in Albion's waters, I hope you know what you're doing miss, GEAR wasn't lying about the price for failure."

    "Thanks," DARK said. "But I've trained practically my whole life for this moment, that aside, I'm not going alone, I've got this."

    "I hope so," The captain answered ominously. "Do you need something to eat or drink?" He asked.

    "Yes, please. Do you have cashews?" Delila said urgently.

    "Yes, hold on," The Captain said before walking off, leaving Delila to wait with very wide eyes. Then he returned and a bright red tube extended towards Delila's face. Delila opened her mouth and the tube entered, then the Captain poured the cashews down the tube and into her mouth. The cashews stopped coming and the agent chewed rapidly, after a short while she swallowed, making sure to desperately remove every chunk left in her own mouth.

    "You knew the whole time I would be the one going on this mission, didn't you Brent?"

    The old man nodded and responded with exasperation, "I was told that you inhale the things."

    "You got some water too?" DARK asked. Another tube extended, this one colored a bright blue.

    Delila allowed it to enter her mouth and pour water in there, she swallowed a few gulps before it was retracted.

    "Goodnight," The Captain said. "The next two weeks are going to be hard for all of us, there'll be plenty of time to strategize. But leave worrying about the real Delila to us, for now, you must rest."

    Then the hatch slid shut, trapping the agent in the warm darkness. With nothing to do, she closed her eyes.

    "You have no idea what's coming to you, Amazons," DARK whispered with a smile as she drifted to sleep.

    So, what do you think? Please do give an honest critique, it feeds me soul! I hope you guys like it!
    Last edited by Nether Void; 11-26-2019, 03:00:23 AM.

    #2
    Lovely setup. Please continue. I really want to see what becomes of dark

    Comment


      #3
      Will do!

      But a little correction, there is no DARK, only Delilah
      Last edited by Nether Void; 09-04-2019, 02:22:47 PM.

      Comment


        #4
        My standard Critique Disclaimer Applies... I am sort of blunt, and brutally honest. This is not because I am an asshole. I've literally betaed dozens of fan-work type projects before and in my experience people need to know how their story is broken, in order to fix the same and that's best done in a non-sugar coated way... BTW I'll be using a lot of Save the Cat terminology here, i don't know if you're familiar, I'll try to be verboser then i usually tend to be

        Nonetheless I will tell you upfront that this didn't suck. The premise is something I enjoy in particular You are headed in the right direction here . There I've burned out my quota of nice

        So this is a mildly compelling opening image, and a great improvement on your previous works. Keep going and you might just produce something readable. It is a bit tropetastic, but that's fine. In the other thread you asked a question that indicates you don't have the Structure of the piece figured out yet; although your prologue seems to be setting you up for an immediate jump into Act 2 (meaning your Call to Action/Inciting Incident has already happened). There is nothing wrong with that choice, it's not common in ab/dl stuff but it's a perfectly reasonable thing to do. As for what choice you should make I can't tell you that. But it depends on what kind of spy story you want to build. If you want a thriller introduce the Act 2 Characters as soon as possible (i.e the President's Daughter you mentioned) and any others you may have. If you want a slow burn then do the unloading first. It's ok to write them both and choose which one you like better before posting. Either way i would not use flashbacks in the way you were speculating. the general rule with flashbacks is that they should be used to go back an Act and not to go to different points in the same act. In this context I think you would use flashbacks best if you used them to show the reader backstory on Delilah, and her pre mission world answer questions such as
        Who is she?
        Why was she picked for this mission?
        What is this mission anyway?
        Who does she work for?
        What motivated her to become a secret agent?
        ..etc
        This is Act 1 work that needs to be done somehow, even though you're jumping straight into Act 2, and flashbacks are a good way to do it. If you do it that way I'll give you more advice on the mechanics of flashbacks later on.

        Hope that helps
        Owl Out

        Comment


          #5
          I am sort of blunt, and brutally honest. This is not because I am an asshole. I've literally betaed dozens of fan-work type projects before and in my experience people need to know how their story is broken, in order to fix the same and that's best done in a non-sugar coated way
          Good

          In the other thread you asked a question that indicates you don't have the Structure of the piece figured out yet; although your prologue seems to be setting you up for an immediate jump into Act 2 (meaning your Call to Action/Inciting Incident has already happened).
          The inciting incident is that the President of Albion is giving his daughter a Little as a birthday gift, and that because of what she looks like, the David Taskforce send the best operative they have that looks the most like this individual girl, DARK. This mission is the chance that all of the David Taskforce has been waiting for for decades.

          [QUOTE]Who is she?
          Why was she picked for this mission?
          What is this mission anyway?
          Who does she work for?
          What motivated her to become a secret agent?[QUOTE]

          Those questions will be answered...but if I jump straight to ACT II then that will bea lot harder to do, thanks.

          It's coming slowly, but I am working on chapter 2, don't worry, it's coming.

          Comment


            #6
            Plot twist! Guess what's back? After a rather humiliating incident where I lost all of my work due to me not fully understanding the mechanics of this site due to not posting here for a long time, I lost this chapter, twice. But now it's here.

            I was having trouble deciding whether or not the next part of the story would begin when Delila's loaded off the docks, or when The POA's daughter opens her present. But
            I decided that since this is a story about a ‘Little’ who’s not remotely as defenseless against the Amazons as the vast majority of her kind are, you’d prefer to see how DARK replaced Delila. You wanted to see what kind of forces a ‘little’ lady could employ if given proper preparation, intel,and equipment, on another note, in this story the littles aren't small, the Amazons are freakishly huge, which would explain them keeping certain animals as common household pets. But enough of me rambling, here's the story you waited for.


            Chapter 1

            Dawn of The Nightmare

            The next day and a half of the journey was horrible, when the sun came up I was being baked inside the box, it was well ventilated and kept me cool, but the heat was killing me. As a David Operative I was trained to withstand conditions such as torture, lobotomy, sensory and sleep deprivation, solitary confinement, and of course, temperatures that in the weakest of us ould induce heatstroke or hypothermia.

            Trained to withstand, unfortunately that doesn’t mean we don’t suffer from it.

            The sun rose twice on my journey since we departed from that island, the temperatures were starting to get to me. When the sun fell I froze, when it slid back up I roasted. I can endure this easily, but knowing that all trafficked Lietti have to suffer this for multiple days without enhancements gave me a new understanding of their plight.

            It was morning and already I was baking again. But thank God I could enter half sleep, I’m not really awake, but not asleep either, this inactivity is a sort of hibernation that I can exit from anytime. But it’s not full on hibernation because I need to have all of my faculties active as soon as possible when we hit the mainland, so my processes were still running at mostly normal speed.

            The only times I awoke from my half sleep were when the crew would feed me and give me water, and when I used the-pooed and peed in my diaper.

            I had wet this thing at least a dozen times, and...relieved my bowels in it twice, a horrible experience, but I’m learning to get used to it. At least my diaper caught the smell too.

            I was awoken by a knocking on my casket. I opened my eyes just as the hatch slid open.

            I snarled and attempted to block the sunlight with my hands.

            “Oh, I’m sorry,” the voice of the one who woke me up piped up, Marco, the one in charge of steering the ship. Judging by my internal chronometer it’s an hour past lunchtime, but why is he here now?

            "Are you okay?" He asked, "it's just that, well, you were so quiet this whole trip, you're the quietest passenger we've ever had in fact. I was getting a bit worried."

            I pushed down my anger and set it aside, after taking a deep breath I responded to him.

            "Yes, I'm...okay, Marco, thanks for asking, but I'm fine."

            "Are you sure? It's just so stuffed in there, I can feel the heat coming from this box, are you sure you're fine?"

            "Yes, I promise you, I'm fine. Aside from it being cramped, it's hot, the metal chafes on my skin, it's cramped, I'm practically swimming in sweat, I can't properly stretch, it's cramped, I can't move, I'm starting to smell horrible, and did I mention how cramped it is in here?"

            I stopped my rant...the heat and confinement really is getting to me.

            "But other than that I'm just fine, I can endure this...maybe a little easier if I had some cashews?"

            "Ah, about that," Marco scratched the back of his head. "We just learned some more about Delila, the girl we're switching you out with, and Captain sent me to break the news to you. Delila absolutely despises cashews, and won't eat them no matter what, on top of that she's diabetic."

            I deflated a little on the inside at that news on the cashews, but it doesn't matter. The fact that I was ready to make sacrifices like this for a long long time comforted me, I'm more concerned about the diabetic thing, it'll make this much harder. I've never had that much of a sweet tooth anyway.

            In order for me to fake being diabetic, I would have to get my insides altered slightly, this isn't a problem. But unlike agents faking it for tests they're going through, I'm actually going to be medicated for it. Which means I would have to make sure the pills don't affect my body, and the chemicals they're made ofdon't show up in my waste, this is going to be a bit harder. But I can get past this.

            "Thanks for the information," I said. "I'll keep it in mind, by the way, how far are we from our destination?"

            "Oh, the shore was just spotted on our radar an hour ago," Marco turned away from me and looked out to the horizon. "New Angle City's visible now, ETA 10 minutes."

            I flinched at his words, it was a tiny movement that nobody would notice if they weren't paying close attention to me. Marco didn't seem to catch it.

            "Why wasn't that the first thing you said?" I asked him.

            "Oh, I spent most of my attention at the motor, waiting for the moment I'd need to take over from the auto-pilot. I just wanted someone new to talk with. Anyway, I really should close the hatch, we gotta slip back into our cover."

            That was the last thing Marco said before sliding the hatch shut, locking me back in darkness. I didn't re-enter halfsleep, I would need all of my faculties with me for this.

            The ten minutes came to pass, it was closer to eleven, but nonetheless I felt a lurch as the boat slowed down and maneuvered into the docks. With my enhance hearing I figured out that there wasa commotion going on, apparently the fishermen's gift to this boat was a little more severe than I thought.

            I heard a loud series of footsteps as someone, presumably a dock worker ran up to the ship.

            "Oh my God. Brent, what the Hell happened to your boat?!"

            "A bunch of Dwarves decided to use us as target practice on the high seas," the captain replied with a cold and spiteful tone. All of this ship's crew had to be good actors in order to survive their jobs. "Fishing boat full of the carpet-crappers saw us, they sailed right next to us and they just unloaded."

            "You boarded their ship and put them in time out, right? Please tell me you boxed them," a young sounding Amazon lady voices her opinion. "My brother's looking for a new little, one with bite!"

            "You should have boarded their ship and sunk it! Naughty babies don't need those toys if they're going to use them like that!"

            I felt my rage boil up inside me, there are only a hundred fishing boats the Liet have in service, it's not known anywhere in the Amazon world but the actual number is 178, and all of them are those towering fortresses. If even one of them gets taken away, we'd suffer a famine for years until that boat gets replaced, those savages have no right to take that from us!

            "Toys? Listen you retards!" I heard Marco spit out viciously. "You've never laid eyes on any of the Little's floating fishing forts, do you know how massive those vessels are? Those ships are so tall that our grappling hooks won't even be able reach halfway to the deck, if we tried to board them they would have sunk us!"

            "Please tell me you at least got the perpetrators on camera?" The dockworker asked.

            "No, they're still broken, and with this damage to the roof they're going to stay broken for even longer," Brent said angrily, his voice dripping in malice. "Oh if I ever got my hands on one of them, I would tear them in two with my own bare hands and dump them overboard."

            "Ah, I see," the dockworker said. "I'd tell you to get a hire a counselor, but with how broke you are, that's a moot point."

            "No, I'm good without a counselor, we've all wanted to tear a dwarf a new one at some point."

            "Ha ha, true, we've all been there. Anyway, here comes the paperwork. I need to take inventory of what you're returning with this voyage."

            I heard Brent growl as he scribbled on something, presumably a clipboard with a contract on it.

            "One? Just one?" I heard the dockworker say.

            "You can thank that Dwarf Fortress out there," another crew member noted callously as my box was picked up. “Who else from the trade is in port?” Brent asked.

            “Not her, not her, please anyone but her,” I heard Arthur, the foglight operator, whisper under his breath.

            I only hear silence, the answer didn’t come immediately.

            “Oh no,” I heard Marco utter.

            “If anyone needs a spoon to scoop out their eyeballs at what we’re gonna see, then I saved one just for this occasion!” A member of the crew I didn’t know the name of responded.

            “Only one, Melissa, today’s just not your day,” the dockworker said and a wave of revulsion crashed into me so powerful I felt like actually vomiting.

            The David Taskforce has a data base of almost every Lietti trafficker on the high seas. Some of the jobs I had before this mission was to place tracking devices on the Trafficker Ships that didn’t have them, and ID the crews that operated them. I didn’t ID Melissa, she had been a phenomenon for some decades now. A particularly daring trafficker, in her every incursion she ventures deeper into the island than any other, she kidnaps people as they sleep in their homes, thinking they were safe because they’re miles away from the shore.

            I was so filled with revulsion that nobody popped her in the head for so long, but her continued existence was our fault. We found her useful for getting David Agents on the mainland, but after my mission is over, I’ll deal with her personally next. Former meth addict and it shows, and her personality’s just as ugly on the inside.

            “That’s okay,” Brent said. “I’ve had worse cases of bad luck than this.”

            "Okay, this way to your check, I'll add a few hundred from my wallet, just to lighten it up."

            "Aw, thanks, dude," Marco said as my box was lowered to the floor. I remember this part, I'm on a pushcart.

            "No problem, right this way," and just like that we were moving. And all of a sudden the chatter devolved into the business as usual, at least as far as I know it's business as usual.

            I remained still and quiet as always, pretending to be asleep. The manager might check the box to see if what they were saying was true, and if he got a really good look at me he'll see my physique, which is very atypical of the Lieti they kidnapped, much less a woman. If that manager opens the box instead of sliding the hatch and looks at me for too long, then my mission is done!

            We eventually entered a very cool building, and it was much quieter then the docks, though there was still some sound, it was the sounds that made me very upset. Fingers typing at keyboards, the footsteps of boat crews walking about, registering their cargo, there were normal sounds that made this place almost seem like a normal office.

            There was one type of sound in particular that upset me, the Lieti, they were loud enough that they could be faintly heard by a person with normal hearing, but as a David Agent, I hear so much more. I heard inside my box the cries of Lieti as they moved toward their undeserved fate, and the callous laughter of their kidnappers. I felt my hatred return, reaching a level that almost consumed me, it took a lot more of what willpower I had than usual to keep myself from tearing through that box and kill every giant I could see.

            I couldn't ignore it, their voices were too clear, there was no limit to who would be sold to those savages in a box, no demographic was safe. Ordinary people, the homeless, gangsters, successful businessmen and hard-working middle class families, even children not yet graduated from kindergarten, a good number of those innocents had lost their minds in their confinement as Melissa’s cargo.

            "No! No! No!"

            I closed my eyes in an attempt to shut it out, try to ignore it.

            "Let me out this instant, you bitch! I'm a lawyer, there are people who need me!"

            "Please, please, please, please, please!"

            I put my hands over my ears, they were pressed so hard against my ears that I think the bloodflow was blocked off. But it was no use, even muffled, their cries were still ringing.

            "Mamma! Mamma! Mamma!"

            "You think this makes you better than us? You think I'll submit? You filthy fat footers are savages, always have been, always will be!"

            "LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!"

            I’ve already heard this, seen this. Fate must be feeling cruel today, why, why do I have to hear them again?

            I so sincerely wished that I could disable my enhanced hearing, turn it down like a volume adjuster on a set of speakers, but I can't. Their cries will come back in my nightmares, but as Marco silently shuddered in rage as he struggled to keep his composure, I could take it, I can somewhat ignore it. I’ve been trained to do this, I’ll move on just as always, I focused on the fact that these people will eventually be rescued when I succeed in my mission. At least, that’s what I told myself before I heard her.

            No, no, I’m not ready for this.

            One voice in particular reached my ears and cut through my soul deeply enough to haunt me for all time. All of the other voices seemingly faded into nothing as my eyes shot wide open and I stopped breathing in shock. I couldn’t do anything else, I just focused on her.

            "Please, you can't do this! I have a son, a daughter, a husband, they need me! How can you condone this? Let me go, this isn't right!”

            “There's a little boy waiting for me to give him a heart surgery, who's going to do that with me gone? Who will hug John when he wins first place at track? Who will walk Melissa down the aisle? Please, you can't be that cold-hearted, please just let me go!"

            As I listened to her words I felt my rage melt and be replaced by a sadness that threatened to consume me. In total silence tears ran down my eyes as I let my hands fall to my side, I don’t sob, none of us do. I can fake cry so good nobody could tell I’m faking it, but when David Agents cry for real, we don’t hiccup, get runny noses, or any other symptoms of crying unless we want to, with the exception of tears.

            Was that what they said too?

            At that moment I wanted more than anything I had ever wanted in that moment to break her out of that box and escort her back to Liett myself. But I knew that even if I could break out of this box, and get her out, we would never make it past the docks.

            There was nothing I could do, her fate would be the same as theirs.

            I couldn’t interfere, I knew I wouldn’t succeed if I tried to free her. That fact hurt, but it wasn’t nearly as painful as it was allowing an entire family to be ruined, and allowing the people she was expected to treat to die. The trafficking is pandemic, when the Amazons live, we lose not only our students, we lose our skilled workers, our children barely old enough to enter preschool, no demographic was safe.

            No demographic was safe because the Amazons never settle for a dog or cat, they always want a person as a pet! Those sickos just want to dominate a Lietti because unlike their children, we’re not recognized as people in their eyes, and as such can be abused to their heart’s desire. We don’t even have the rights they give to animals!

            Damn you, I cursed them inside my head as I felt the rage return. My arms were shaking, my vision was beginning to get slightly blurry. If looks could kill, the entire Amazon race would be dead.

            "Wow, those are the most inventive fairy tales I've heard yet," a gravely voiced woman laughed in a slurred voice, sounding like she's drunk. Melissa, "You could be an actor if you weren't a Little!"

            Damn you, I thought as my vision turned red.

            “No, they’re not! You saw my degree when you took me, you had to, it’s on my nightstand! There’s no possible way you couldn’t have!”

            “What’s the holdup? I brought the goods, just register those already and let us begone!” Melissa huffed out over the screams of her captives.

            “Damn you,” I whispered through gritted teeth, barely audible in my own ears.

            “Here it is ma’am,” The one operating the clerk desk said in an uncaring, clinical voice.

            “I swear, every time I bring back a load they’re even more belligerent than the last one!”

            All of a sudden the sliding hatch opened and I saw Brent staring at me, his eyes hard and unsympathetic. But his words betrayed his true allegiance.

            “They’re going to inject you with a tranquilizer before transporting you to the Auction House Storage shed, It might be strong enough to knock even you out, so prepare. But when you’re in the shed, you must remain awake at all times and wait for the sound of your cohorts breaking in, when you hear it, start start making noise. Do so until DRAPE and ORICHALCUM are able to locate you, then prepare for extraction, good luck.”

            The hatch was then closed, but immediately afterwards…

            “Oooh, hello Brent, what have you got there?” I heard Melissa’s voice protrude. “Nice catch, how many do you have to haul in before they actually start paying you this time?”

            “Uh oh,” I heard the clerk at the register say.

            “That’s none of your damn business wench,” Marco seethed.

            “At least ours isn’t making a racket, unlike yours,” Brent bit back.

            “Bah,” Melissa spat out. “I'm not willing to do this today, just cash your check, you won’t be seeing me again any time soon.”

            Just like that, over the sounds of her cargo crying for mercy, Melissa left, her loud clacking footsteps fading.

            And among them I still heard the mother.

            “No, no! Noooo! Please, don’t! I-I-I’ll pay you anything, anything! Please! S-s-someone! A-anyone help! HELP!”

            I promise, once my mission is complete, I said in my head. I will find you and bring you home, along with as many other people as possible.

            Then just like that the cart I was on moved again, I remembered Brent’s advice about the anesthesia, and sped up my heart rate. If I metabolize it faster than it can work its magic, then I should be able to not be affected at all.

            It didn’t take long for The Ferrymen to send me off behind the desk. My casket was moved from my current buggy to the cart that would ship me off to a storehouse far deeper in the mainland, where Lietti are shipped off to auctions to be bought, or sold to “Little Training & Adoption Centers.” As long as I stay awake I should be fine, not that that should be difficult given what came through my ears.

            One by one I heard the others in Melissa’s ‘haul,’ they all panicked and freaked out whenever the hatches on the box’s side opened, they shouted out in pain before falling silent one by one. Then it came to me, I was breathing fast to justify my rapid heart rate, I was increasing my metabolism as fast as I could. I couldn’t help but feel a small amount to actual fear, it helped me keep my heart rate up, but I was mildly concerned at what I would face now.

            Then I heard a sound to my right side, a clamp restrained my right arm between my elbow and shoulder, it grabbed me like a vice, hard enough to be painful to a David agent like me. Then almost immediately after I felt it, a prick on my arm.

            Seriously? I thought with indignation. They still use needles for injections?

            After the needle was removed, I felt a tingle on the part of my arm where the sedative was injected into me. The clamp was released from my arm and a few seconds later the injection hit me like a truck. I was starting to feel woozy, my vision blurred and moved as my box was lifted off the cart.

            Oh crap, Brent was right, this stuff is strong, what the Hell is this stuff? If it’s enough to affect a David Agent this badly, then no wonder so many rescues from the Supercontinent come back insane!

            Then I went pale as I made another connection.

            ...and they just injected a small child with this stuff, oh God, please I hope she’s okay!

            I am not falling asleep, I am NOT going to even allow myself to blink! I breathed heavily, with my eyes as wide as dinner plates as I fought off the drowsiness. I can overcome this but it is a challenge, I have to remain uninterrupted. If I am to stay awake I must keep breathing fast. My breath was deafening to my own ears, it was a volume I’m used to, but can they hear it?

            If those Fat Footers do hear it then it’ll be the end of everything we’ve worked for! I will not be defeated by a drug!

            All I could do was make sure my heart beat faster than normal, and hyperventilate to keep my blood from not getting enough oxygen. I felt a pressure on my bladder, and almost without hesitation I let go, it was becoming disconcertingly easy for me. As I breathed rapidly I squirmed, feeling my heavily used diaper, tonight, I’ll be changed tonight.

            The cart that was pushing me stopped, then I heard the sound of a large door open up. We’re being loaded up into a box truck. I felt a lurch as Amazon hands grabbed the caskets and passed them to some other people in the truck, one by one. I was the last to be loaded on the cart, so of course I was first.

            My casket rocked, threatening to interrupt my rapid heart exercise. I felt myself slid to the left side of the casket, my face being pressed against the metal. I have to remain awake, if I lose my focus for even a second, I’ll fall asleep, and I won’t be able to hear the signal!

            I remained focused on breathing as the Amazon put my casket into some device and I was locked into a rack, to prevent us from sliding in the truck ride. It took a minute for the caskets to be loaded up, but then I heard the dialogue change.

            “All right, that’s the last of ‘em.”

            “Glad to be of service to you,” the truckers said. I know that’s probably not what they’re called, but the word for them escapes me.

            Then I heard the door close with a massive thud. I heard the Amazon’s heavy footsteps outside of the box, then a pair of doors open as they entered the truck. The driver put the keys in the ignition and started the truck, just as he was starting to drive they began to talk.

            “Hey, Art,” the younger sounding one said.

            “Something on your mind, Winston?”

            “Yeah, the President of Albion just won his third term, but isn’t it strange though? With how many people are displeased with his gas taxes, especially guys in our profession, I figured if he got the seat again his victory in the election would’ve been more hard won. But a ninety percent lead in the polls again?”

            “And you’re saying?” Art questioned his friend as the truck turned.

            “I’m saying the elections are rigged!” Winston said angrily.

            “And…?”

            “Wh-you’re acting way too nonchalantly about this!”

            “President Ep wouldn’t be the first to do that in Albion. Besides, he’s done much to stamp out the Pro-Little terrorists or whatever they call themselves now. The extinction of those lunatics is probably a good enough reason why many people keep voting for him.”

            “And what about the new taxes Ep’s been raising?” Winston continued.

            “Yeah, yeah,” Art said apathetically. “He put back in car taxes and homeowner’s tax, what’s new about that? That aside he removed the Little Tax, about time, nobody should be bothered to pay just for owning a Little. Why should we be taxed for owning a Tiger? Or a Great Wolf?”

            “And what about the Income Tax he’s raising on the citizens? Are you fine with that?”

            I felt the car lurch as the driver put on the brakes.

            “He’s taxing what?” Art responded with the first bit of emotion I’ve heard him express.

            “You heard me.”

            “Are you serious?!”

            “Deadly.”

            I heard Art curse loud enough to hurt my ears. I was shocked, I had never ever heard someone make a sound that loud.

            “The current President has done some shady crap, I know that much, but raising an income tax on Amazons? Where was he when Burgen tried to raise taxes on its Amazon citizens? There was rioting for weeks before the Prime minister of that place was decapitated! Oh if he actually passes that, I’ll be very surprised if he lives past this year.”

            Interesting, I thought. So it appears that this POA is not will liked by his own people. If that’s true then we can blame it on a group of radicals. Maybe I can ask GEAR to stir one up just for that plan.

            My vision started to get blurry and I woke myself back up.

            I have to stay awake! No matter what, I can’t afford to fall asleep. All on Liet depend on me, everyone I knew in my childhood may have forgotten I exist, but they still need on me. I just have to stay awake.

            I heard the door open, we must be at the warehouse already. The drive was shorter than I expected, I didn’t even notice the keys turn off, that sedative must really be messing with me.

            I will remain here, and wait, wait until the others come for me, I concluded as my casket was the first to be loaded on the buggy.

            I will remain awake, this stuff can’t put me to sleep, I steadied my resolve and vigilance as I was carted into the warehouse.

            I am not going to fail, many lives depend on my success, I will not fail them, I kept breathing rapidly as the doors to the warehouse closed.

            This is only a waiting period, the Amazons reckoning is upon them, I smiled as the workers unloaded my casket and put a glass casing over it, making it airtight. These caskets had the casings on the bottom of them, under my back. Mine were designed to malfunction. The casket is not airtight.

            Yes, their crimes will catch up to them, even if I have to do it by my own hands, I recited that truth as the gas poured in. But my casket was intentionally made faulty in another aspect, the tub didn’t connect, so none of the gas reached me, and since it was invisible, they didn’t notice. This is the easiest and quickest way for David Agents to be delivered to the mainland, but it relies on another to bust them out.

            Throughout all of that process I breathed, none of them noticed me, and they left the warehouse none the wiser that one of their cargo was still awake.

            All I could do was breath, slower now as the sedative’s effects wore off. All I could do was breath as the vast warehouse filled with the unluckiest of all the Liet were there to keep me silent company. The only thing I could do in this dark casket was breath, nothing else but to wait in vigilance.

            Comment


              #7
              This is easily the most unusual and intriguing DD story I have read, and I think I've read them all.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by kerry View Post
                This is easily the most unusual and intriguing DD story I have read, and I think I've read them all.
                Thank you, mission accomplished!

                Any further thoughts on this tale? The good? The bad?

                Do you think this is a strong comeback for me? What do you want to see in this story? What kind of stuff do you expect to see in the following chapters?

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Nether Void View Post

                  Thank you, mission accomplished!

                  Any further thoughts on this tale? The good? The bad?

                  Do you think this is a strong comeback for me? What do you want to see in this story? What kind of stuff do you expect to see in the following chapters?
                  Oh my goodness! When a story is working—and the fact that it intrigues me suggests that it is working—i tend to stay out of the suggestion-giving game; the author clearly has a handle on it. I think what I want is not anywhere near as important as what the characters want as the story progresses. Listen to Dark; she'll get you where you are going.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I'm glad to see you've come back to this. Hope to see another chapter soon! This kind of reminds me of the feel of Raven/Silver for the tone of the dimension here, but it is definitely unique! If I had one suggestion it would be a query of why she's going through this process of the warehouse and then being broken out? You mention it's the safest way onto the mainland... maybe expound more on that? Maybe you did in part 1... I only reskimmed that part.

                    Looking forward to more of this!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by BabySofia View Post
                      I'm glad to see you've come back to this. Hope to see another chapter soon! This kind of reminds me of the feel of Raven/Silver for the tone of the dimension here, but it is definitely unique! If I had one suggestion it would be a query of why she's going through this process of the warehouse and then being broken out? You mention it's the safest way onto the mainland... maybe expound more on that? Maybe you did in part 1... I only reskimmed that part.

                      Looking forward to more of this!
                      Thank you, it's the safest and quickest way to get on to the mainland, and the quickness of the delivery is absolutely vital, especially since the traffickers are the only way Lietti get on the Supercontinent that the Amazons accept, especially since Liet's travel ban on all except the ones they send to the universities to steal the Amazon's technology. The other methods often take years, the POA's daughter's birthday is in a couple of weeks, in order for the mission to have any hope of success DARK must replace Delila as soon as possible. And not only that, but pass herself off believably to the point where nobody will notice any changes.

                      Luckily, David Agents are nothing if not prepared.

                      So, what do you like about this Sofia? Other than the unique premise of course. What do you dislike about this tale the most?

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Nether Void View Post
                        Luckily, David Agents are nothing if not prepared.
                        Almost too prepared.
                        I'm a little concerned that agent Dark is a bit too talented, or rather that the method by which her talents are shown are less compelling because they seem to remove much of the threat, and therefore the tension. An excellent comparison to the shipping box would be the scene in Kill Bill where Beatrix gets buried alive in a coffin. In order to escape, she first has to calm herself, then decide she actually can escape, then do it. The sequence flashes back to her brutal training, where we learn how hard it was for her to acquire the skills needed to overcome her obstacles.

                        I'm not saying you need to do flashbacks, but in your shipping box sequence, Dark is knowledgeable and prepared in advance to overcome it. So far, she's not encountered anything that seems to have any chance at besting her. Now, if your goal is to show us a badass that effortlessly thwarts her foes, then by all means, stay the course. But if you want there to be some serious tension, there needs to be an actual challenge, even if it's a "I trained for this, but the real thing is so much harder" type deal.

                        But you're good at coming up with ideas anyway. Were I you, I might first try to nail down exactly the Littles and their allies know of the procedures. Are there gaps in their knowledge? Are there things they can't properly train for? Have the Amazons suddenly changed the protocol for some reason? These might be opportunities where a curve ball might come from. Or maybe her biggest obstacles don't come from a clear and present danger, it could be even be the very fact that she is so well trained that makes something else difficult, like pretending to be scared or something (even if you've already shown that she's capable of that too.) By all means, be creative. And remember, you don't have to explain everything. A bit of mystery can really help build tension. So far, everything has gone according to plan and no one has skipped a beat.

                        Although, this is only the first chapter

                        The only other thing I can say is that I noticed you shifted to a first person perspective. I'm going to assume you're planning on keeping it, and that the third person perspective was only to introduce Dark herself. I'm not saying you can't have shifting perspectives, but make sure it's some level of coherent; that there's a rhyme or reason to it.

                        Oh, and verb tense. You've got a few sentences where it's present tense, but everything else it past tense.

                        Carry on.
                        I'll put a line-break anywhere, and you can't

                        stop me.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Vearynope View Post

                          Oh, and verb tense. You've got a few sentences where it's present tense, but everything else it past tense.

                          Carry on.
                          Please do tell where that happened. And yes, I usually use 3rd Person in my prologues.

                          As for the Amazon's protocol on handling Littles, the Civil Rights Movement from "A little Legal Issue" blew up in their faces, 130 years before this story the Amazon world got polarized and had entered a war, the two contenders were the ones who were Pro-Little, and those who vehemently believed that the Littles were 'Toys.' This of course affected the continent of Liet too, however, unlike on Liet, the war between the Pro-L and the Anti-L groups lasted much longer, and unlike on Liet, the good guys didn't win. The anti-L groups were eventually annihilated and universally branded as terrorists, Little Civil rights had gone back to 0, not a single Lietti on the Supercontinent walks as a free person, not unless they're a David Agent, or a (doomed) University Applicant (a dying breed as everyone knows that going to the Supercontinent means you're more than likely never coming back).

                          That aside, I came up with the words "Liet" and "Lietti" so there would be a reason the Amazons call them "Littles," in Agent Dark it's a sort of bastardization of their actual name.

                          So what kind of name do you think the Amazons really call themselves?

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