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On the Loveseat

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    [Complete] On the Loveseat

    Chapter 1

    It was a quiet Saturday afternoon, and Lila let her long dark hair flow down loosely around her head. It covered her bare shoulders in a slightly frizzy mess of tangles. We were comfortably resting close together, reading books in silence on our ratty old loveseat. The rhythmic rising and falling of her breath distracted me, but was very welcome. I looked up and towards the window with the curtains drawn back. It was bright blue and positive outside, a lively springtime urge to go outside grabbed me.

    "Looks nice out," I nudged her.

    Her dark eyes glanced at me, then out the window. "Yeaa-," she stretched. "Blossoms are really coming out the last few days."

    "Could have a picnic-"

    "I knew you'd say that. I'm allergic to the outside this time of year, you know that-" she whined.

    "I think it just from being inside this dusty place." I said.

    "Maybe," she returned to her book indifferently.

    "So you wanna?"


    "Please?" I pleaded.


    "Some sun will do us some good."

    She pulled her hair back into a loose bun as she spoke. "The sun- Even if I stay in the shade, I get so brown..."

    "We're going outside! Just for a little while."

    "Fine," She agreed, closing her book with a slap.

    She stood before I did and walked past me, leaving her scent in her wake. Only lately she'd began to smell like pee. I could tell she'd had an accident again before I saw it.

    "You soaked your undies and the couch- again." I frowned. "The third time you went since yesterday!"

    "Did I?" She looked down and felt the front of her underwear. A grey, soaked pair hung around her hips.

    "You coudn't feel it when you stood up just now? Shouldn't it feel cold, like getting out of the shower?"

    "I- I dunno," She said.

    "Did you feel it happen?"

    "Yes," She hesitated.

    "Well, why does this keep happening? You can be totally honest, you know- I only want to help. It's not just an accident this time, this is the third time in two days," I rambled.

    She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. "I don't want to get up. It feels nice- I can pee whenever I need to. It's my furniture, and we're about to send it to the road anyway."

    "Uh- so," I sat stunned. That was totally unexpected. "That's... that's something I guess." I said awkwardly.

    "I thought you wouldn't be upset. You know I'm a little weird- this isn't the first thing you've had to put up with. I'm like, just being me." She said in an apologetic way. "I wouldn't just let go on the carpet." She added.

    "No- it's alright. I get you," I started. "But like- Lila, what the fuck are you on?" I tried not to laugh.

    She smiled. "Well I was on the loveseat with you until you made me get up. Maybe we could stay here still?" She held her palms up in a dramatic shrug.

    "Fine, we can stay. I guess we have to now. I mean, what if you had an accident like that in public?" I teased.

    She blushed. "I wouldn't."

    "Oh, you wouldn't?"

    "It's just something I wanted to do, not something I can't help." She said whimsically.

    "I don't believe it! You should be in diapers," I joked.

    She struggled for words for a moment. "No- L-like I said, it's- just something I wanted to do for a while now. Does it bother you?"

    I thought for a moment. Honestly, It wasn't that big of an issue for me. "It's fine, it's fine," I said casually. "I wish you would have told me first though."

    "You're right. I should have-"

    "If you want to tell me anything going forward, don't hesitate." I laid my head on the cushion behind me and closed my eyes.

    I felt her sit down beside me (in the cold, wet spot she made) and open her book again. She was a strange woman but I loved her.

    Next morning while I was preparing breakfast, she was nowhere to be found. She must have snuck out of bed before I woke up. When she came home later with groceries, I though nothing of it. The new loveseat had been delivered and later that day we were again cuddling together and reading. Her soft breathing caught my attention as she laid into me. I kissed her neck and buried my face into her hair. I came across something plastic-y feeling as my hand grazed her upper thigh above her pajama bottoms. I stopped.

    "What's that?" I whispered.

    Wordlessly Lila slid off her pants. A soggy looking adult diaper clung to her.

    "You mentioned diapers, I hadn't thought of that before. I wanted to try them," She pressed hard on her diaper making it moosh.

    "If that's what you want to wear-"

    "But it is!" She said enthusiastically. "You should try one on, These are so comfy." She tried to press her knees together but they wouldn't touch. "It feels warm at first- when you pee, but then you sort of forget you peed at all after a while."

    I admired her belly and thighs with her diaper fastened on in between. "They're cute on you."

    She scooched forward a bit and patted her diaper lazily while looking up at me. "Change me."

    "You can change your own diaper," I said.

    "No I can't!" She began. "I'm too tired right now. Do you want me to leak on the couch?"

    "Just don't pee any more so you don't leak."

    "I want to pee though. It's soothing. Plus how will I get up in time if I have to go bad?"

    "Alright, sure. Since you clearly can't do it yourself," I teased. "Look at you, you're totally helpless- lying there in your own wetness."

    "I know. I wish I didn't have to use diapers, but it's too hard. You can find clean ones in our top drawer."

    "Okay, be right back," I got up and piled some pillows behind Lila for her to lay into.

    "Hurry! I think I just peed a little more."

    Soon I got to work changing her. I noticed there were wet wipes in the drawer as well so I brought them down with me. I cleaned her gently as she continued to read. A few small dribbles leaked out of her and I got a fresh wipe to wash them away, though some of it ended up on her new diaper. The fastening of the diaper's tabs were the only thing to break the silence.

    "All nice and clean, I hope you're happy," I said as I took my position behind her again on the loveseat.

    She felt the front of her new diaper and looked up at me, as if only now aware that she'd been changed. Maybe she was that focused on her book. "This is so nice- I love you," she said softly.

    We kissed.

    Chapter 2

    "I won't hold back so I hope you'll look out for me," Lila eyed me innocently.

    "Well, if this is what you want- Is it really? I mean you've been in dipes for two days straight now."

    Turning towards the bathroom mirror again, she said plainly as if it was the most common thing: "I do." I glanced at her bare legs and the ruffled and soft disposable that sagged between them. There was something worn-in looking about the diaper after she'd been wearing it for hours. I wondered for a moment if I was beginning to like this as much as she was. Probably not, but I was getting comfortable with the idea at least. She carefully put on a little eyeliner and I noticed it looked like she started to pee again. She stood a little more still than normal, but seemed absent to the wetness spreading; though I could see it from where I was.

    Lila looked down and squished the front of her diaper quickly before returning to the mirror. "But, wearing to dinner- with your parents present? Don't you think that's going to far?" I asked.

    She looked at me with confusion. "How will they find know? No one suspects a diaper."

    "I Guess you're right- but what if you leak?"

    "I won't- It takes at least a few hours before I need to change right?"

    "True," I called back.

    Lila got some pants on and I made sure to comb my hair. I changed her quickly before we left (she still insisted that I'm always changing her) and we were on the road ten minutes later. I think I was beginning to like changing her. Though the humid and musky smell of pee wasn't all that great, the experience was surprisingly intimate overall.

    As we drove I was struck by the pleasant feminine smell that was carried in the perfume that floated off her and into the cramped space of the car. It was pretty opposite to the pee that was already locked away in the diaper below her jeans. She was hardly holding back or anxious about wetting, so I guessed she was already wet. I wondered if she thought much about the prospect of leaking. She was kind of a risk taker and a free-spirit, so I figured it didn't factor into her take of what the night was going to be like. As I admired her mystery and unusual character, I wanted her badly. What did I do to deserve a girl this great?

    "Mom's making dolmades tonight," Lila said while staring at her phone.

    "Of course."

    "Ya ya."

    When we got out of the car, Lila adjusted her shirt making sure her waist was covered. We rung the doorbell and waited. I felt more nervous than she did, but what did I have to hide?

    "Come in, come in," We were led to the table as soon as we had our shoes off. The house smelled like a restaurant and was as warm from preparing the food as it was warm from their hospitality.

    "No problem to be a little late. Everything is ready just as you arrive!" The food was laid out nicely on the table and homemade hummus and bread were set out as appetizers too. After a few bites and a bit of conversation, I forgot about Lila's situation.

    After the door closed behind us the anxiety I felt before sprung up into my mind. Now everything was okay- our bellies were full, the sun had set and the night was warm. Everything worked out fine.

    "How'd the dipe hold up?" I asked casually as we pulled out of the driveway.

    "I have no idea. I'm not leaking though I don't think," she replied in the darkness beside me.

    "Ah, s'probably alright then."

    "Yeaa," she yawned a little yawn and took out her phone. The glare lit up her face in contrast with the surrounding darkness.

    "So how long do you think, you know- you'll keep wearing the diapers? Until the bag you bought is gone?" I asked.

    "Hmm..." She paused. "Well, I don't know. We'll see how it goes. Maybe for a few more days... or... maybe not? Could be a week at least? Maybe that's okay?" She asked hoping for my approval.

    "If you want keep wearing them, it's fine with me."

    "Really? 'Cause maaybe- I could keep wearing these longer- A lot longer," She replied shyly.

    "Yep, that's fine. But maybe I can't change you all the time."

    "Well you don't have to, buut, I really like it when you do."

    "You know, I'm starting to like it too... I was thinking about it earlier a bit." I looked at her and away from the road for a moment.

    "I'm-" she signed. "Really happy. I wanted to do this- I didn't think I'd get to share it with anyone..." I felt Lila looking for my hand in the darkness. We held hands the whole drive home.

    Chapter 3

    A few weeks had passed by now, and Lila was still padded up daily. Though I brought the issue up a few times, she seemed pretty content to keep wearing her toilet and carrying it around with her around her waist. That's Lila for you. In some ways it was an adjustment for me- the bathroom began to smell faintly of pee (and so did Lila sometimes) which wasn't all that nice, but you have to make compromises for the ones you love, right? I laid in bed, planning the day ahead. Looking over at Lila, her soggy morning dipe hugged her butt as she hurried to get ready. I was surprised how normal the whole diaper thing was becoming and I feared I was beginning to get turned on by her wet diaper butt. I told myself it wasn't the case: It was Lila who was doing it, not her underwear. I wasn't totally convinced, but I tried to forget it as I sat up. She put down her phone and began to brush her hair. I glanced again at the yellowed garment around her. How much attention did she give to her accidents? It seemed like her crinkly potties were damp whenever I saw them now.

    "You're always up before me," I said.

    "Yea. It's the sun coming in that does it- looks nice out."

    "Want me to change you quick?"

    She turned to look at me before feeling her diaper. "How bad is it?"

    "Pretty squishy looking. Wouldn't be that way if you went to the toilet you know."

    "Obviously silly," She joked. "But, I can't go to the toilet anymore because I'm so comfy wearing these now."

    "I noticed. You're wet like, every time I see you without pants-"

    She sat down on the bed beside me with a little squish. "I think I went in my sleep last night."


    "I remember waking up slightly- but I was already peeing... I dunno though."

    "You're going to need those soggy things if you keep this up. I think you should take a break from them for a while- for me."

    "Nooo..." She whimpered. "Please, these are so nice to wear- you would know if you tried wearing them. I have lots, and they'd fit you as good as they do me.

    I paused for thought. "If I try one on, maybe you could take a week break from diapers?"

    "Well- Maybe. Yes, I will. But, only if you wear for a week," A smile spread on her lips.

    "3 days?" I asked.

    "Okay, deal." She stood and opened up the top dresser drawer and rummaged.

    "You don't mean right now?"

    She turned toward me again and gave a relaxed shrug. In her hand were two neatly folded disposables.

    "Why not? Trust me they're really soft and convenient," She sat down gently beside me. "No one is going to know-" She added.

    "Convenient? Uhh-" I felt a bit uneasy.

    Lila rubbed my back. "Let me care for you for once. Shh-"

    She laid me back on the bed and I looked up at her gentle gaze, feeling a little more at ease.

    Lila cooed softly as she slid down my underwear. "It's only a diaper. You don't even have to use them like me, if you want to, you can of course, but no problem." She unfolded the diaper that was meant for me with care. "Just treat them like underwear. It's any other day, you're running errands and getting things done- before you know it you'll forget you have one on at all," she continued as she fastened the strange bulk around my hips.

    She stood up, with her saggy diaper hanging on her perhaps a bit saggier than before. It looked like the tabs were struggling to stay in place after a whole night and morning of Lila's abuses.

    "How does it feel?" She asked. "If you don't want to go through with it, now's your chance."

    I stood up with Lila and felt the soft bulk around me. It was like I had 10 pairs of underwear on. I moved my hips from side to side.

    "Not so bad right?" She chimed in as I pressed my knees together. The diaper crinkled. It was thick and pillow like, I could only imagine how thick it felt after using it, though I was pretty sure I wasn't going to do that. I reminded myself I was doing this for Lila's sake more than anything. What if she started wetting the bed every night? I didn't want her to hurt herself. Maybe a week in regular underwear again would remind her of the importance of moderation. I hoped so.

    "They're not so bad. Kind of comfy I guess- I see what you mean," I said.

    Lila gave me a big hug. "Just like any other day. I'll put your jeans on for you- Forget you have it on."

    After that was done with, she opened the dresser again to find a shirt for herself. A few drips were forming a small puddle beneath her as she looked in the dresser intently.

    "Lila- you're leaking- Stop!" I said.

    She looked down quickly. "I am!?" She pointed at the other diaper still sitting neatly on the bed. "Hurry-"

    The light coming through the curtains shined on the little pee rivers running down her legs as I undid her diaper carefully where she stood.

    As I wrapped it up, it leaked warmly onto my hands and the floor. "Fuck," I called out.

    "Sorry-" Lila called from behind.

    I tossed the dirty away and got her diaper on while she stood patiently. I cleaned her quickly in silence. As I was fastening on the last tab I noticed her crotch going yellow.

    "Can't wait until I'm finished?" I said grumpily.

    "But, I don't want to wait. I have to go when I have to go I guess." She said in her Lila way.

    "It's fine, It's fine- Sorry," I added. "Didn't expect to get pee on me like that though... You need to be more careful. I know you like me to change you, and I like to do it sometimes too, but you need to watch out for leaks. Not me."

    "Sorry." She said gently. "It sucks- that I leaked. My fault. I'll be more careful, alright? I'll clean up the carpet too, don't worry, okay?" We kissed after I finished changing her.

    "Love you," I called as I made my way to the sink to wash my hands.

    "Love you, too." She called back from behind somewhere. I had forgotten I was wearing a diaper until my mind wandered to it as I turned on the sink. She was right. Besides wearing one of Lila's diapers, I figured the next few days would pass pretty much same as usual.

    I reflected on the events of the last few weeks and thought about how Lila let it flow out while I was changing her. Would she leak on the carpet again? If she was going to go a week without wearing her protection, maybe she would. That would be a bit annoying, but more than anything I was upset because she was hurting herself doing this. Was she? It seemed that way. I knew I was okay with her alternative lifestyle, but perhaps this was becoming unbalanced now. Would she end up having to depend on them? I wanted to prevent that if I could. Though she really seemed to like wearing them, what if she didn't want to do the whole 24/7 thing a year from now?

    Chapter 4

    The three days I was in diapers went smoothly. I thought it would. I didn't end up using them, and I was happy it was over. A part of me enjoyed their comfort, at least at night. I didn't want to wear them all day though, they got surprisingly sweaty if you needed to move around much.

    I peered into the room where Lila was relaxing. She didn't notice I was there, and for a moment I admired her natural beauty complimented by a few rays of sunshine peeking through the nearby window. She was cozied up on the couch in just a tank top and her very used diaper.

    "Hey," I said finally.

    Lila looked up and lowered her book. "What's up?"

    "So I wore for three days, like you said. You know what's next." I sat down beside her.

    "I bet you liked wearing them. Aren't they nice?"

    "It wasn't too bad." I replied casually.

    Lila returned to her book as if hoping I'd leave it at that and let her continue on peeing away the afternoon on the couch.

    "So, I have some underwear here for you to wear-" I added gently.

    "Awh..." She whimpered and set the book on the table as she sat up.

    "I know. I don't want to part you from your new found freedom, but you've gotta wear something else from time to time. Just a little break, it's only a week." I squished her diaper up against her. "If you want, you can go right back to dipes afterwards- of course."

    "You're right, just a little break. Hold on..." She made a face and her belly went tight- was she letting out a few last drops?

    Lila took off her diaper and I mine. For the first time in a while, we were both in underwear. Lila pouted as if trying to convince me to let her slip her diaper back on again. Dry or soaked, I didn't think she cared either way. I almost wanted to call it off and let her go back to what she was comfortable with. But it was only a week anyway, I thought.

    "Hunh," She sighed. "I feel exposed-"

    "You really should try to go without diapers for a while," I replied gently. "I know it's uncomfortable now, but it will be for the better. What if you get too used to diapers, and can't go without them if you wanted to? You don't want that, right?"

    She brushed her hair behind her shoulders with her hand and looked down at her underwear, lost in thought. "I dunno, I think I'd rather just wear diapers forever then- I have to try to hold it, for a whole week!"

    "Only a week. You can do it, it won't be so bad." I held her.

    "Alright, I guess I have to."

    "You've got this."

    Her face lightened a bit and we kissed quickly. She took my hand and lead me.

    Lila made her way downstairs, I followed close behind. "Wanna bake something with me?"

    "What about dinner?" I replied.

    "Nah! Let's just make some cookies." She said with her usual whimsy.

    "I'll make something to eat, you can make the dessert."

    "Okay, sounds fun." We found ourselves in the kitchen prepping things up before long.

    "Gimme the sugar when you're finished with it."

    "Yeah, just a sec," She called back. I looked over to where she was sitting. She was forming the cookie dough into shapes. The ceiling fan above spun the smell of the soup I was making throughout the house.

    "I smell salt. How much did you put in?" She asked.

    "Er- less this time, I think. I forgot to measure it out."

    "You didn't measure?"

    "You can't smell salt- I don't think?" I continued, trying to dodge the question. I hoped it would turn out okay.

    "I can though," she replied.

    I heard the chair sliding across the floor from behind me and a gasp I turned to see what happened instinctively.

    Lila was staring with wide eyes at the chair she was sat on moments before- It had a glimmering puddle on it now. I doubt she spilled water, though. What else could it be? She'd already peed! It was worse than I thought. She had only been out of diapers for an hour!

    Her dark eyes darted to mine. "Ugh- I knew this would happen! Please, just let me go back in diapers- I don't want to deal with this today." She moaned.

    "Are you trying to hold it in?" I asked plainly.

    "It's really hard! I hate this. So cold- I wouldn't even know it happened if I just had a diaper on."

    "Maybe you'll have to wear them then, but don't give up yet." I said with more sympathy. "Keep trying- just a little longer, you can do it." I added.

    "Okay, okay. It's only one accident I guess."

    I finished making the food while Lila freshened up and cleaned up her puddle. On the upside, the soup turned out okay and the cookies were delicious. After dinner we cleaned up and watched a movie together. She had two more little accidents while we were resting into one another. This was already getting out of hand. I wondered if there'd be no controlling Lila's bladder. At this rate, I was beginning to lose faith. I went off to bed before her, feeling tired and not wanting to deal with more accidents for a while.

    As I came to, it was dark out and Lila had crawled in bed beside me at some point. Something was off, and I felt around as I woke up more.

    Soaked. The bed was soaked.

    It didn't seem like she stirred at all. It dawned on me that I couldn't handle a whole week of waking up swimming in Lila's night time accidents. There was just no way. The mattress would be ruined, if it isn't already. I guess underwear wasn't hers to wear anymore. It was going to be diapers from now on I figured. I shook her shoulder softy, trying to wake her.

    "Huh-" She said. I feared I felt something warm spreading as I roused her.

    "You've ruined the mattress my dear." I said with resign. "Let's just call this whole thing off."

    "What?" She yawned and sat up, stretching. "Oh!" She jumped.

    "Don't worry about it, it's not your fault," I sat up with her and held her.

    "I really can't stop it- I'm so sorry." She cried. Soaked in pee, We held each other as she sobbed gently in the dark. In the resigned attitude I felt then, there was nothing but love for Lila on my mind.

    "I love you just as much- Accidents or none. Okay? I'll get you changed- Problem solved." I cooed. "Shh-" I held her closer.

    "You remember how you said I could tell you anything?" She asked.

    I squeezed her. "Of course, whatever it is, let me know."

    "Part of the reason I wanted to go on the couch a few weeks ago- all my life it's been so annoying to hold it. it's like I need to pee all the time. No one knows. I can- or, could, hold it but it was tough. I'm scared I'm losing control," She rambled.

    "Let's go to the doctor tomorrow morning." I said.

    "Maybe it isn't that bad though? I never thought it was serious enough for that until now..." She added.

    I kissed her on the cheek. "Well, it's serious." I said gently. "You keep having accidents, and you were always having trouble? I'm worried about you."

    "Okay-" I could just make out the glimmer on her eyes in the darkness as we gazed at one another. "Let's go tomorrow."

    We kissed tenderly. Laying down in bed and turning over, I had almost forgot the situation we were in. As I got up, Lila was already across the room and she turned on the lights. It brought painful squinting as I tried to get used to it.

    Wordlessly I went to the drawer and brought out a diaper and wipes. I began to clean her up and change her on the floor. She looked relieved, though a little less thrilled to be in diapers than usual.

    We managed to get an appointment for a few days out, so we had to wait around until then. Until we went, Lila seemed not her usual self. The accidents were weighing heavily on her mind still I guessed. I asked Lila if I could borrow another one of her diapers for bed tonight. She happily agreed. I kind of liked the feeling, and it made her happy, so why not? It lifted her spirits that she wasn't alone with what she was wearing. I just hoped she'd be her normal self again soon.

    After the check up, we found out she had a small and overactive bladder. For Lila it made life a lot more pleasant if she could just go whenever the need strikes. I told her it was okay, and if she really feels the need to wear, she doesn't ever have to stop.

    So for a few weeks life went on mostly as usual. Lila was back in her preferred underwear and feeling much better, and I was indulging more myself. I would wear with her every night; I seemed to sleep best when I was padded now. Sometimes, I would wake up in the night and decide to do as Lila does. It was warm and funny but not really unpleasant, and before I knew it I'd be asleep again. It was nice not having to find a toilet in the dark. One morning I woke before her and noticed both of our diapered butts were soggy. It was kind of sweet, in a way. Things got strange for me though, when I woke up wet without remembering waking up. Did I really not wake up? I felt the bulky padding that surrounded me as Lila snoozed beside me. I didn't remember a thing. I wasn't sure what to think. Do I tell her?

    I knew one thing. Maybe it was time for me to stop wearing at night. I looked down at the deformed squishy fabric fastened around me and wondered how it came to this. I can't start having accidents. I can't.

    Chapter 5

    How did i find myself in this situation? It was clear the last few months had changed me in more ways than one. I went from at first being a bit confused about the whole diaper idea, to being concerned for Lila's well-being, to finally giving in and ending up in diapers myself. It was beginning to feel like these soft squishy things were a bit dangerous in a way. They were pulling Lila and I into an irreversible dependence upon them. Or, maybe my mind was wandering too much in the haze of having just woken up. Still, I brought an accident on myself through carelessness. I had to stop it now while I could, so I resolved to do that.

    I nudged Lila to wake her; the alarm hadn't yet roused her.

    "Mmm-" She hummed. Yawning and turning to face me, a sleepy smile spread. I felt her hand come to rest on my crotch under the covers.

    "Getting used to them?" Lila squished my diaper.


    "How sorta? You're not peeing the bed like me are you?" She probed insightfully.

    "Ok- I admit it," I began. "Last night, I dunno. I don't think I woke up at all. It's becoming so natural now."

    "Aww-" She kissed me and squished my padding again. "It's nice isn't it? Guess you'll be wearing every night now? You should then-"

    She didn't seem very concerned, but I guess that was typical Lila. I was relieved that she didn't mind much. I think it upset me enough for the both of us anyway. "I don't want to wear at night anymore. I gotta stop doing this before it gets serious."

    "You sure? I wouldn't if I were you." Lila stretched out, her diaper butt crinkling as she did. She snuggled the blankets closer to her and closed her eyes. "Not having to get out of bed, peeing whenever you want- Not having to feel the least rush or concern for a central need of your life. Don't you want to just give into your padded potty like me?" She took a deep breath. "I know, it's different in my case- but not by much. Who wants to get out of bed at 3am? You gotta get your sleep you know."

    I laid still for a moment unable to respond. She was pretty convincing when she wanted to be. Something about the early morning and just waking up made her surprisingly lucid from time to time. This a little known fact about Lila, one which I was lucky to be intimately acquainted with.

    "Well-" I began tiredly. It seemed her response took all the energy out of my concerns. Maybe I would just keep wearing them to bed. No! What was I saying?

    "All warm and soft- and sometimes it tickles too," She mused. "A bunch of bathroom visits, or a quick easy change once in a while? S'great."

    "I know it works for you, but I can't- Tonight it's going to be underwear for me."

    "Fine, fine- Wait..." She opened her eyes. "Get up in the night if you want, but you still need to wear," She said gently. "Just in case."

    "Alright. Good point." I replied.

    We laid in silence for a while, not wanting to get out of bed and face the world yet. "Want a change? I asked.

    "Maybe wait 'till after breakfast."

    The day passed quickly, and after a late dinner we were in bed again. Hopefully there'd be no accidents, except for Lila's usual squishyness. For a few nights, there were no accidents and things went alright. But eventually, disaster struck. I woke up with a start, feeling something warm. I wasn't sure what was going on for a few moments, but I soon realized pee was leaking out of me so I clenched down, stopping the rest of the flow. I still had to go kind of badly, so I gave in and let the rest trickle out. Since I already soaked myself, might as well stay in bed for the rest of it, I figured.

    A few thoughts began to haunt me as I tried to fall back asleep. I've done this twice now! Was it all downhill from here? Lila has problems holding it, and had trouble even before padding up. What's my excuse? I've done this to myself, haven't I? The next night I had another accident, and also ended up leaking. The night after that, I leaked again. Lila decided that between us both, the mattress had been done in- it had seen it's last day. I guess we should have invested in a plastic cover or something earlier on. As I saw it go out with the trash covered in unfortunate stains, we joked that it was something we created together.

    The changes of the last few months- be them diaper changes or changes in attitude were overall good and I think they brought Lila and I closer. But, that's not the end of the story-