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Poem: Put it out of your Mind

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    Poem: Put it out of your Mind

    Put it out of your mind.
    Forget about it.
    Don't worry.
    Don't obsess.
    Don't be anxious.

    But I am.
    I obsess and I worry.
    I make myself anxious.

    Remember that time you tripped on nothing?
    You don't care.
    You put it out of your mind.

    I look down, avoid cracks and crevices.
    I obsess.

    Remember that embarrassing thing you did in 3rd grade?
    You don't, you forgot about it.

    But I do.
    I remember every second.
    I'm 26 and it still makes me anxious.

    There is no face for mental chaos and disorder.
    You can't see it.
    You can't hear it.
    You can't feel it.
    Only I can.

    Every day, every hour, every minute.
    The world spins on.
    People live their lives.
    And I obsess.
    And I worry.
    And I make myself anxious.

    Remember that time you created something?
    You thought it was beautiful, and others laughed.
    Eventually you let go.
    Eventually you dealt with it.
    It still stings like fire,
    every word uttered.

    So many nagging voices
    So many harsh words
    my mind is spilling out
    like spaghetti falling to the floor.

    Strand by strand.
    String by string.

    You have a job.
    I have government assistance.

    You go out with friends.
    I scroll through tumblr,
    hoping a friend on skype might message me.

    You've got a degree and a career.
    I'm still playing catch up,
    I just want to be good at something.

    I'm depressed, so I must be lazy.

    I have OCD, so I'm just being difficult.

    I'm anxious and have PTSD, so I'm just making excuses as to why I can't attend your nieces birthday party.

    I have dissociative issues and alters, so I'm just a special snowflake.

    I cut myself, so I'm just an attention whore.
    I cut myself…and you say I'm just an attention whore.
    I cut myself…….because I wish to god someone would pay attention and care.

    Eons of loneliness,
    an eternity of tears.
    The sands of time slow for no one.
    Cells die, hair dies, animals die, plants die.
    Death waits for no one.

    Death comes for me, it comes for us all.
    Maybe now, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a hundred years.
    It comes.
    It comes closer and closer.
    And I obsess.
    And I worry.
    And I make myself anxious.
    And I just want a chance to live.

    But putting it out of my mind is easy…right?

    #2
    Re: Poem: Put it out of your Mind

    I'm just going to say Wow.

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      #3
      Re: Poem: Put it out of your Mind

      While I appreciate the emotional chaos that one feels when writing personal poems, and so sympathize with you're need to write, I'm also glad to see someone else willing to share a poem, as it feels awkward to try on a story forum, you've encouraged me to share some of mine. Thank you.

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