If You Act Like a Baby."
Hi, my name's Jamie, and I just turned sixteen, which makes me the
oldest kid here at the KiddieKare Daycare Center by at least ten years.
But KiddieKare is where I've been spending my mornings this summer, and
things could be worse. I guess. You might ask what a sixteen year old
is doing in daycare at all, let alone why I'm wearing these cute
OshKosh shortalls with the handy crotch snaps for quick diaper changes.
Diaper changes? For a sixteen year old? Well, let me tell you.
I'm the youngest in our family. Jillian is three years older than me,
and Sally is five years older. When we were little and my sisters
played house, I always had to be the "baby". Of course, now things have
taken a whole new turn, and my big sisters aren't helping a bit.
To start with, Mom says I was tough to toilet train. I wasn't really
out of diapers during the day until I was three. And I was almost five
before I stopped wearing them at night. Mom and Dad were pretty
laidback about it. They did start worrying when I began to outgrow
toddler size Pampers, but then I finally started waking up dry, so it
was goodbye Pampers for me. I kept thinking about diapers a lot, but
thinking was all I could do, because there weren't any more in the
But our cousins' house is less than a mile away. They're all boys -
Tim, Jason and Josh. Josh is the littlest. He was born when I was six,
and it turned out he was a real slow trainer too, so there were always
plenty of diapers around their house. Whenever I went over to play, I
would sneak into the upstairs bathroom and swipe a couple of Josh's
Pampers. Until I was nine I could still get the tapes to fit around my
waist, and after that I would just sort of stuff them in my underwear.
I wore those Pampers whenever I could, especially to bed, and I really
got into the feeling of wetting them when I got the urge.
The first time I got caught was when I was eight. I was at my cousins'
house. My Aunt Lulu happened to pat me on the behind and felt that
familiar plastic crinkle under my shorts. She didn't say much about it,
but she made me take the diapers off and promise not to steal any more.
She also told my parents. I guess they were pretty annoyed. So I was a
good boy for a while. After a month or two though, the temptation got
to be too much, and I started snitching Josh's Pampers again. I think
Aunt Lulu knew what was going on, but she was nice and didn't say
I remember getting caught again when I was eleven. It was summer, and I
had stockpiled a bunch of disposables under my mattress. Mom found them
and confronted me. She was super mad, yelling that it was ridiculous
for me to wear diapers like a baby, and she made me go apologize to
Aunt Lulu. That was also the first time Mom threatened me with going
back to diapers as a punishment -"How would you really like to be a
baby and have to wear diapers all the time?" I didn't tell her that was
just what I was fantasizing about practically every night.
A year later, when she caught me at it for the third time, Mom made me
go talk to a psychologist. He said not to worry, that it was just a
phase and that it was up to my parents to decide how to deal with it.
He even suggested the option of buying me some diapers of my own and
letting me get it out my system."Once he realizes the inconvenience and
the potential embarrassment, I predict that he'll come around soon."
Mom and Dad talked it over, and in fact Mom was ready to get me some
diapers and let me wear them, but Dad said that sounded ridiculous and
he thought the psychologist was full of it, so the idea was vetoed. I
Then cousin Josh finally got toilet trained, and my supply dried up. I
had to figure out how to buy my own diapers! It was the year I turned
fifteen. I'd saved up money from mowing the lawn and raking leaves, so
I rode my bike over to the Walgreen's on the far side of town. I was
super nervous, but I worked up my courage, walked straight to the baby
section, and picked out a pack of toddler Pampers, some Johnson's baby
powder (love that smell) and a cute Winnie-the-Pooh pacifier. As an
afterthought I grabbed a package of Toddler XL plastic pants. They
looked huge. Maybe they would fit me!
Keeping an eye out for anyone I knew, I went up to the checkout, trying
to act casual. The lady just smiled at me and began to ring the items
"Big shopping day for baby!" she said. I laughed nervously.
Of course she didn't know the things were for me. Or did she suspect? I
was so excited, I didn't care. I raced home and smuggled everything up
to my room. Everyone was out, so I was alone. I had those big plastic
baby pants on in seconds. They actually fit! Though they were pretty
snug, they were obviously intended for kids almost my size. I stuffed a
Pampers in them, and I was in bliss.
I ran through that pack of Pampers in a week. I started wearing the
plastic pants all the time too - sometimes just over underwear, but
when I went to bed I would stuff a Pampers down into my plastic pants
and let loose. My pacifier started getting worn out from me chewing on
it every night while I jerked off in my wet diapers. In short,
everything was going great.
I went back to the drugstore a couple of times, and I just kept on
buying more toddler Pampers and sneaking the used ones into the trash.
One day Dad lost part of a new woodworking set he had just bought. He
declared a house-wide search, and while I was looking around in the
basement, I heard him yell, "Jamie!"
I ran upstairs. I could tell Dad was pissed off about something. He was
standing in the garage, where he had been going through the trash to
see if his stuff had accidentally been thrown out.
Dad was holding a plastic bag full of my sodden Pampers. He said,
"Jamie, are these yours?" I just looked at him, and he repeated,
"Jamie, are these your diapers? Have you been wearing these diapers?"
I couldn't say anything except yes. What could I do? I was so
embarrassed. I could feel my face turning red and my eyes watering. I
start crying when I get angry or embarrassed, which just makes things
I began telling Dad that I sometimes had bedwetting problems at night
and that I had been wearing the diapers to keep the bed dry. He looked
at me dubiously. I knew he hadn't forgotten my earlier episodes.
"Well then," he said slowly, "maybe you'd better go see someone about
"It's not that serious. I mean, it doesn't happen every night. I think
I'm getting over it," I lied. I could feel the tears coming.
"You'd better be telling me the truth. Bedwetting at your age is pretty
unusual. You are getting a little old for diapers, don't you think?
Where did you find these, anyway?"
"I bought them at Walgreen's. Dad, it's not a big deal, I think it's
just like a temporary thing."
"I hope so. I'll let it go this time, but if you keep wetting your bed,
you better tell Mom and me about it. And no more diapers! If you've got
a problem, then you've got a problem. But if you're making up a story
just because you still want to play baby even though you're a teenager,
then I promise you, this time you'll find out what playing baby really
"All right, Dad, I promise. No more diapers."
"I'm letting your mother know about this. We'll both be watching for
any more of this behavior. If you really want to act like baby, then we
will treat you like a baby. It's your decision."
"Okay, Dad, I understand." Now the tears were rolling down my cheeks.
"I don't know that you really do understand. I want you to repeat what
I just said. If you act like a baby, then you'll be treated like a
"All right," I sobbed. "If I act like a baby, I'll be treated like a
baby. I promise I won't do it anymore." Dad gave me a pat on the back
to calm me down, but I knew he meant business. I felt totally ashamed
So that ended my diaper wearing days for a little while. Dad and Mom
were both really mad at me. Since I didn't have the nerve to start
wetting my bed for real, I guess they knew that I was lying about
needing the diapers and that I was just into wearing them for fun. I
felt pretty guilty for a while, so I just focused on getting through
the year at school, and then it was summer vacation and I got my first
Chapter One Babysitting Brad
High school was out. I was pretty much stuck at home for the summer,
thinking about earning enough money to buy a car for when I got my
permit. So I needed a summer job, and it was natural for my big sister
Sally to volunteer me to take care of Brad. Brad is our neighbor's -
the Lawson's - kid. Sally had been sitting him since he was tiny, but
this summer she got a job working at McDonald's, which paid much better
money than babysitting
My best friend Jeff was away doing six weeks as a camp counselor, and I
didn't have any other close friends around or a girlfriend or anything
else happening. My sisters were both busy working. And when they were
around, the two of them - not to mention their friends - acted really
condescending to me - the layabout "little brother". Dad was at work at
the shop all day long, and Mom was really busy with her real estate. It
was boring being home alone.
So I told the Lawson's that I was cool to watch Brad in the afternoons.
My cousins Tim and Jason gave me a ton of grief for doing a "girl" job.
But I didn't care. I liked Brad. He was almost three, and still pretty
much un-toilet-trained, which meant that taking care of him was a lot
of work. But I knew I could handle it, and besides, there were fringe
The Lawson's are kind of "save-the-earth" granola types, and they never
used disposable diapers for Brad unless they had to. Except for
traveling and for Brad's daycare, they kept him in old-fashioned cloth
diapers and plastic pants. They even had a diaper service, which
delivered clean diapers twice a week and took the dirty ones away. This
seemed really neat to me. The first time I was left alone with Brad for
the afternoon, I got him settled down in front of the TV, and then I
was into his bedroom in a flash.
There were piles of fluffy cotton diaper service diapers on his
changing table. I unfolded a couple, hopped up on the changing table
myself, and smeared my crotch properly with some Desitin rash ointment.
I sprinkled my crotch with a big puff of Johnson's Baby Powder, and
proceeded to pin on two of Brad's diapers using his cute little duckie
diaper pins. My hips are super skinny, so the diapers weren't even a
tight fit. I guess Mrs. Lawson folded them up small to diaper Brad, but
when I laid them out flat they fit me perfectly. Even better - each
soft cotton diaper was stamped in the corner with a cute "Tidee-Didee
Diaper Service" logo in blue.
Of course, Brad's plastic pants would never fit me (I'd outgrown
Toddler XL a few years back). But I'd seen that the Medical Supply
section at Walgreen's had waterproof pants plenty big enough. So I took
my first day's babysitting pay and raced down to the pharmacy on my
bike. I didn't care what anyone thought seeing a teenager buying adult
incontinence pants. I was so impatient to check them out that I put
them on in the public restroom at McDonald's downtown. They were made
of the same kind of tough plastic material as Brad's, with the same
snug elastic legs and waistband. perfect.
The next day I was in Brad's room practically before Janet Lawson had
walked out the front door. It turned out my plastic pants fit just
right over the diapers I had "borrowed"- tight around the legs and
waist and really puffy everywhere else. I slipped my shorts back on
before I came out of the nursery. The extra padding made for kind of a
tight fit, but Brad wouldn't notice. It was a great feeling wetting
those diapers just like a baby, knowing the plastic pants would hold
By five o'clock I was soaked. I changed out of the squishy diapers and
deposited them in Brad's diaper pail. When Janet came home, she asked
me how Brad was doing and whether he had been a good boy. She had made
a big deal about watching when he needed to go and reminding him to use
the toilet, so when she checked Brad's pants and found that he was
soaking wet again, she got kind of annoyed. She said I would need to
work harder on getting him out of diapers. Meanwhile, I was just
getting into them.
Janet Lawson works at the same real estate firm as my mom. They were
really busy that summer, so I was regularly alone in the house with
Brad from one o'clock till five thirty or six. I was in diapers every
single afternoon for five weeks. Brad would take a nap for an hour or
so, and then I'd watch TV, but the rest of the time we would just play
around in the playroom or outside in their fenced-in back yard. I got
to be pretty brazen about being in diapers, and one hot day I even left
my shorts off. Brad went around the house just in diapers. Why couldn't
I? The first couple of times Brad saw me in diapers he laughed and
laughed, but he quickly got used to it. Being dressed alike made it
even more fun to play with him. It was like we were both just toddlers
fooling around on the rug with his blocks or out in the sandbox with
"You're great with Brad, Jamie," said Janet, "you're a real playmate
for him. I just wish you could help him learn to keep dry. He can't go
to pre-school in the fall if he's still in diapers, you know. Why
yesterday I even saw a dirty diaper in his pail. Are you sure that
you're reminding him to use the potty? It's not good if he's so
interested in playing that he just does everything in his diaper."
"Oh, I remind him a lot," I said, which was true, even if it didn't
make any difference. Anyway that dirty diaper was actually mine. I had
suddenly needed to poop while we were both outside playing in the yard,
and so I just cut loose. It was incredible to feel the load filling my
pants. I cleaned up pretty fast, and stuffed the dirty diapers in
Brad's pail. I knew that Brad still had accidents sometimes, and I
didn't think that Mrs. Lawson would notice. So I was kind of surprised
that she mentioned it. I realized that I would have to be more careful.
"Now Jamie, tomorrow night your mom and I are finally going out to the
movies, remember? We won't be back until late. You will have to give
Brad dinner and put him to bed. I'll give you ten dollars extra for the
"No problem, Mrs. Lawson, see you tomorrow."
I was so excited the next day. Once I got Brad into bed I was going to
have the evening all to myself. Right after I put Brad into his double
night diapers I put triple diapers on myself, and when I fixed Brad his
nighttime bottle, I warmed one up for myself too. Brad thought it was a
little funny that we both had bottles, but he'd gotten used to me
playing baby. Once he was asleep in his crib, I curled up in the living
room to watch TV, suck on my bottle, and soak my diaper. I was lying on
the rug watching some old cartoon tapes when suddenly I had a great
idea. The Lawson's had never gotten rid of Brad's old playpen. They
kept it tucked away in a corner to store all his toys. I pulled the
playpen out in front of the TV, cleared out a bunch of stuffed animals,
and climbed in it myself. I was in baby heaven. I felt amazingly
infantile sitting in the mesh-sided playpen, sucking on my bottle,
hugging a big plush rabbit, and watching Daffy Duck. I totally relaxed
and let my bladder empty into the fluffy cloth.
Suddenly I realized that I needed to go number two as well. Before I
knew it I had filled my pants with a warm soft mess. I rubbed the wet,
smelly diapers through my crinkly plastic pants and sent myself into
total baby ecstasy. I lay in the playpen - wiped out - mouthing my
bottle's rubber nipple, and letting the warm milk trickle into my
mouth. I curled up with the soft, furry rabbit and closed my eyes.
"Jamie! Hi, we're back! Jamie, are you in here? Oh my lord, Alice, will
you look at this!" I jerked open my eyes to see Mom and Janet Lawson
staring down at me in the playpen, their mouths hanging open in
"Jamie! What are you doing in the playpen! Are those diapers you're
wearing? I can not believe this!
"Look, he's got one of Brad's bottles! What do you think you're doing?
You're supposed to be babysitting Brad, not the other way around!"
Mom looked really mad, "Jamie, I think you need to explain yourself to
Janet. That is, if you haven't regressed back to baby talk along with
"I was. uh. interested in seeing what it felt like."
"I thought you would be through with this ridiculous, childish behavior
by now, but I guess you're not. I'm so sorry, Janet, I'm embarrassed to
tell you that Jamie enjoys pretending to be an infant. I told you about
the last time, didn't I, with the Pampers? Of course now that he's
fifteen years old I actually thought I could trust him. Where on earth
did you get those enormous plastic pants, Jamie? Are those Brad's
diapers you're wearing?"
"Of course they are, Alice. Now I understand what Brad was saying about
Jamie "bing a babee" and why we've been going through twice as many
diapers since Jamie started taking care of him. I had to call the
service to ask for extras. You've been doing this for weeks, haven't
you?" Janet glared down at me still huddled in the playpen.
I nodded, ashamed.
Mom groaned, "For Pete's sake, Jamie, you need a baby-sitter more than
So Mom and Janet gave me the full interrogation, and I confessed to
everything - buying the plastic pants, sneaking diapers to wear around
the house with Brad, dumping the used ones into his diaper pail. I was
so ashamed I actually started to cry.
"Oh, cut it out, Jamie, imagine seeing my fifteen-year-old crying in a
playpen. I think it's time I took you home."
I climbed out of the playpen and Janet suddenly started to laugh, "I
must say, you look pretty cute in those droopy diapers. It looks like
you're ready for a change though. Wait a minute," she sniffed, "You
didn't make stinkies, too?"
"Uh. yeah," I mumbled, trying to stop crying.
Mom said, "Dirty diapers. This is the limit! You remember what Dad told
you the last time we caught you sneaking diapers? He said you were
going to find out what it really felt like to be a baby. Well, I think
you've made it clear that's what you want. What do you think, Janet?
Don't you agree that a little baby treatment would be the appropriate
consequence for this outrageous behavior?"
"I think that might be just what Jamie needs. I'll send the service
right over in the morning. But you know, they have a two-month minimum
"Two months sounds about right. That will take care of him until school
starts again. Then he can decide if he wants to be toilet-trained or if
we should enroll him in Nursery School instead."
I couldn't believe my ears. Diaper service - for two months!
"The worst of it is that I'm going to have to find someone else to take
care of Brad during the day, because Jamie is definitely fired as a
babysitter. Now he has a new job. Brad's little playmate."
"You know, Janet, Sally did say that she was looking for something
besides McDonald's. They cut her back to the morning shift, and she was
complaining that she wished she had her old job back again. I bet she
could babysit both boys together."
"That sounds very appropriate. What do you think, Jamie, would you like
to have your big sister for a baby sitter? Aww. look, he's starting to
cry again. We need to get him changed. Shall I fetch some fresh diapers
for your little guy, Alice?"
"It certainly looks like he needs them. Yes, I think that Jamie needs
to be kept in diapers until he's good and sick of it."
Mrs. Lawson went into Brad's room and came back with a stack of cloth
diapers, some lotion and powder, and Brad's big changing pad.
"All right, Mr. Potty Pants, you just lie down on here on the couch and
we'll get you ready to go home." Pulling my plastic pants down round my
knees, she proceeded to unpin the dirty diaper. She handed the
offensive bundle to my mom, who took it with a disgusted look. Half a
dozen baby wipes served to clean my butt off. Then baby lotion and
powder were smeared all over my privates and a thick layer of clean
white cotton pinned around my hips.
"I'm sorry I don't have a fresh pair of your big baby pants for you.
But maybe your mommy will take you shopping for some more in the
morning." She pulled the damp waterproof pants back up over my diapers
and checked that all the fluffy edges were properly tucked in.
"All right, time to go home, Jamie," Mom said. She didn't look so angry
now. In fact she was smiling, like she was amused at how they were
making a total joke out of me.
"I'll go get my shorts, I think I left them in the bathroom."
"No shorts, Jamie. If you're going to be a baby, you'll be dressed like
a baby. I wouldn't make my baby wear anything but his diapers on a hot
night like this."
"But baby does need his bottle! Here, Alice, He can just keep this old
one of Brad's. And don't forget Mr. Rabbit, Jamie. You wouldn't want to
sleep without him."
Janet pushed the blue plastic Evenflo bottle and the big plush rabbit
into my arms.
"Don can come over for the playpen in the morning. We really don't use
it anymore. Brad's outgrown it, so I'll be happy to let little Jamie
have it as a hand-me-down. Nighty-night! Sleep tight, cutie-pie."
Janet patted my diapered behind and waved bye-bye as Mom dragged me out
the door by the wrist.
I was in shock. Even the great feeling of soft, bulky diapers and
gently rustling plastic pants was overwhelmed by the humiliation I felt
being walked down the street, exposed as a big baby. It was one thing
playing around in diapers with Brad, but I was fifteen, and I thought
of myself as a pretty cool guy. The diapers and baby play were my
secret, not something I wanted anyone else to know about, let alone the
Luckily it was pretty late already, and since we live right next door,
I don't think anyone saw me. But then Mom marched me in the front door,
straight into the living room. Sally and Jillian were both sitting with
Dad watching TV. They all looked up to see Mom and me walk in.
Clutching my baby bottle and the stuffed rabbit, wearing puffy plastic
pants and a t-shirt, I looked like Tommy from Rugrats.
"Well now, what have we here?", Dad chuckled, "has somebody gotten in
"I guess we shouldn't be surprised, but it seems that Jamie has been
sneaking little Brad's diapers every day for over a month. Janet and I
came back from the movies to find him wet and messy and sleeping in
Brad's playpen sucking on a baby bottle. Quite a display."
"Looks like the show isn't over yet", giggled Jillian, "Isn't he cute,
darling little baby Jamie! Wow, Mom, we should take his picture.
Where's the camera?"
"Don't worry, girls, you'll see plenty more of the new baby in the
morning. Janet and I decided that Jamie's going to get to be a baby for
the rest of the summer, but right now it's past his bedtime."
"What an adorable little tyke," said Sally. "Our own little baby
brother! Did you put him in fresh diapers for the night?"
"Of course we did; now he's all ready for beddie-bye. Say goodnight,
little Jamie. I'm going to fix your bottle and then tuck you in. Girls,
I'll be back down in a minute. We need to make some plans."
Mom was actually kind of sweet as she put me to bed. She gave me a kiss
and said, "It's what you want, isn't it? This time we're going to give
you exactly what you want until you've had enough, and then some. It'll
be just like the old days when you were little. Sweet dreams, baby
She gave me the warmed-up bottle of milk and turned out the light. I
lay there with my mind spinning. How could this be happening? My whole
family had seen me put back in diapers, and apparently I was going to
get the baby treatment for the rest of the summer. I almost wanted to
cry again, but there was something else I wanted to do. I started
sucking on my bottle and let the warm wet feeling spread through my
Chapter Two Special Delivery
"Breakfast time!" I woke up with a start. It took me a minute to
remember why I was wearing just my pajama shirt and… Diapers, soaked
diapers too. In fact my plastic pants had leaked and the whole bed was
flooded. Oh shit.
"Breakfast time!" It was Sally. She was standing in the doorway,
smirking at me, "You better get downstairs right away. We're all
waiting for you."
"Just let me take these things off. I'll be down in a minute."
"Oh no, Baby isn't supposed to change himself! We'll take care of
everything after you've had your breakfast."
She took me by the hand and practically dragged me down to the kitchen.
Mom, Dad and Jillian were sitting round the table already. I stood
before them wearing nothing but my pajama top and sagging yellowish
diapers. They greeted me with big smiles.
"Hi, Jamie," said Mom. "Looks like you had a wet night. Good thing you
were wearing those rubber pants. Come on, sit down."
In my place at the table was the old high chair from the basement.
"Let's see if you still fit in your old chair, little guy," said Dad.
"I put the foot rest a lot lower."
I had no choice. I sat down in the stupid highchair, and Dad snapped
the big plastic tray into place. I'm pretty skinny, so my hips fit in
the chair okay, even with my squashy, wet diaper, but my feet were
almost on the floor. From behind Jillian slipped a bib round my neck
and quickly tied it on with a bow. I felt my face turning red.
Mom smiled at me, "I sent Jillian over to borrow a few more of Brad's
old things from Janet this morning. Oh, and would you get Jamie his
juice?" Jillian placed a sippy cup full of juice on the tray. Then she
gave me a little toddler bowl of Cream of Wheat and a Mickey Mouse
"Eat up, Jamie. Don't you want to grow up to be a big boy? Or do we
need to feed you, too?" asked Sally.
I was hungry, and I didn't want anyone feeding me, so I started to
spoon the bland cereal into my mouth. My hands were shaking from
embarrassment and anger, and the mush kept falling off the spoon onto
"Putting a bib on him was a smart idea, Jillian," said Dad.
Just then the doorbell rang. Our kitchen door opens right onto the
breakfast table, and you can bet that I didn't want anyone to see me
sitting in the highchair. But before I could wiggle out, or find the
catch on the tray, Sally got right up and opened the door. I froze.
"Oh good", she said, "We've been expecting you."
A young guy in his twenties walked into the kitchen. He had on a blue
uniform with shorts and a patch on his shirt that said "Tidee-Didee
Diaper Service". Janet Lawson must have sent him over.
"Hi there, my name's Pete. I understand that you've got a new little
customer for us." He looked smiling round the room. Then he saw me,
stuck in the highchair, wearing nothing but my pajama top, a messy
Sesame Street bib, and an obviously soaked diaper. His eyes opened wide
in amazement. "Oh."
"Well, actually, he's a pretty old customer," said Dad, "but Jamie's
decided to go back to diapers for a while."
"Yes, we'd like to sign him up for the service. Do you think that will
be okay?" asked Mom.
"Uh, sure, I guess so," said the diaper service guy, "We do all ages,
but are you sure you want actual diapers? We've got these snap-on
incontinence pants that most of the older kids and adults use."
"No, I think regular baby diapers will work just fine for Jamie, the
big flat ones, just like those he's been "borrowing" from his little
friend Brad. In fact, we want the exact same service that the Lawson's
"Yeah, we're giving Jamie a chance to be a toddler again," added
"Looks like you're doing a good job. I've seen a few older kids in
diapers, but the bib and the highchair. that's kind of extreme. ."
"Don't worry, he's been wanting it for a long time, "Dad smiled, "Tell
me, how does your service work?"
Pete kept staring at me as he said, "Well you have to sign up for a
ten-week minimum. Your neighbors use about forty diapers a week, I
think, but we'll keep you supplied with whatever you need. I usually
pick up on Wednesday mornings. We'll give him his own diaper pail, and
we can wash any extras like plastic pants or rubber sheets. I just need
a thirty dollar deposit to get started."
"It's a deal," said Dad. "We'll start right away. As you can see,
Jamie's going to need a change pretty soon."
"All right", said Pete, smiling in disbelief, "I'll go get some
supplies from the truck." He walked outside to the big Tidee-Didee
truck that was parked in our driveway. I prayed that the neighbors
weren't watching as he returned carrying a huge stack of snowy cotton
diapers and a big bright yellow diaper pail.
"Would you like me to personalize his diaper pail?", asked Pete, "How
do you spell his name?" He cast me another wide-eyed look.
"J A M I E," said Jillian.
Pete took out a book of stickers and peeled off big letters in a
babyish play-block design. He stuck them on the diaper pail to spell
out my name." We don't usually do this for older customers, but this
seems like a special case."
Sally prodded me, "Jamie, tell Pete 'thank you'."
"Thanks, Pete," I mumbled, slouching down in the high chair, trying to
"No problem, kiddo" grinned Pete," I'll leave the paper work here.
That's your contract, general info, and our catalogue. Actually we have
quite a few options in the larger sizes - we sell a couple different
types of waterproof pants, and we can deliver disposables for him too,
if you want. Good for car trips," he chuckled.
"Great," said Mom, "I'm sure we'll be needing all sorts of supplies.
Here's thirty dollars deposit for you."
"Thanks, I'll see you next week. It's handy that you're right next door
to the Lawson's. Just call if you run out or need anything extra."
"We certainly will. Now say bye-bye to Pete, Jamie."
"Bye," I muttered.
"Do it nicely, Jamie. You can smile."
I tried to smile and managed a little wave, "Bye-bye, Pete."
Pete waved back at me in an amused way, and walked quickly out the
door. He flipped out his phone before he even got in the truck. I knew
he couldn't wait to tell his office that he had just signed up a
teenager for baby diaper service.
"Well, good, that's taken care of," said Mom. "So who wants to help me
get Jamie ready to go shopping?"
Shopping? They weren't going to take me out of the house like this.
"I'll help," said Sally, "I've already decided to call in sick at
Mickey D's today. I wouldn't miss this for the world."
"I'm free all day, too," said Jillian. She worked as a lifeguard at
Riverside Park in the summers, and she pretty much made her own
"Well, don't be giving your new baby brother too hard a time," said
Dad. "We don't want any tears. I'll see you after work. Have a fun
"Don, don't forget to call Charley about that idea you had."
"Don't worry, Hon. I'll take care of it."
I tried to get out of the highchair, but I still couldn't find the
release under the tray. Sally came to my rescue and let me down,
untying my bib and using it to wipe my face clean in an annoying way.
"Come on now, let's get you into some of your nice new diapers."
She grabbed a few off the big pile Pete had left on the kitchen counter
and led me up to my bedroom. Jillian was already there, ready with
powder and wipes and baby lotion. My sisters made me lie down on the
bed, pulled down my plastic pants, and unpinned the soaking wet cloth
between my legs. I felt mortified to let them see me naked, but before
I could say anything, Sally slipped a double layer of fresh Tidee-
Didees under my bottom, and proceeded to swab my willie with a cold
Huggies wipe. I just about exploded. I guess I must have yelped because
Jillian said, "Now Jamie, don't fuss."
Then Sally smeared baby lotion all over my crotch, puffed a huge cloud
of powder all over my tummy and my legs, and expertly pinned my diapers
in place, still using Brad's little duckie pins.
"Jillian, would you bring me those rubber panties we found under
"I've got them right here. Aren't they cute?" My sisters had found my
cache of waterproof pants.
"Hey," I shouted, "What were you doing looking under my mattress? You
should stay out of my stuff!"
"Mom found them weeks ago, Jamie. We know all about your secret little
"Oh, and here's your pacifier too. Maybe this will shut you up." Sally
pulled one of my pacifiers out from its secret place in back of my bed
table drawer. It was my favorite one - the red binkie with the picture
of the little truck on it. She shoved it into my mouth, just as Jillian
grabbed my ankles and started working my feet through the elasticized
legs of my plastic pants. She made me get up, and pulled the panties up
over my diapers. She snapped the elastic waist like a rubber band
against my belly, and said, "There you go! All clean and dry! Let's see
how long you stay that way."
Sally said, "Now let's see what else he can wear." She opened my bureau
drawer and started pulling my clothes out in heaps. "None of this stuff
is very appropriate for a little boy in diapers. Hmmm. I guess these
might be okay."
She picked out a pair of red gym shorts and an old striped T-shirt that
I had kind of outgrown. "Here, put these on, and here are some socks.
She handed me a pair of white crew socks. "You can wear them with your
blue Teva sandals. That will look sweet."
"How about this baseball hat?" asked Jillian. She had my Red Sox cap.
"Of course it would be better if it had one of those "Little Slugger"
labels. But we can take care of that later. Well, Sally, what do you
I took a look at myself in the mirror. The gym shorts were really
short, and they didn't cover up much. In fact the diapers kind of
filled out the legs so it was easy to look right up my diapered crotch.
And the striped T-shirt had shrunk so you could see the puckered
elastic waistband of my plastic pants sticking out above my shorts. Add
the baseball hat and the sandals and the pacifier in my mouth, and I
looked just like a toddler - an almost six foot tall, teenaged toddler,
but a toddler all the same.
"Not bad, it's a start," said Sally. Let's show him to Mom." She
grabbed me by the hand, and led me back downstairs.
"Good job, girls, he looks very cute. Are you ready to go? I've just
got to get my purse. Would you mind carrying this bag, Jillian?" Mom
handed Jillian a shopping bag, "I put a change in here for Jamie just
in case. All right, let's get in the car."
I spat the pacifier out of my mouth, "No way!", I hollered. "I can't go
out like this. Are you crazy?"
I really don't know why, but my eyes start watering when I get angry.
It's something I've tried to control, but I just can't. And I was
furious about having my private baby thing made into a joke by my
sisters. I could feel my eyes tearing up.
"Oh, maybe would you rather go out without any shorts?" asked Mom,
"that would be just fine. And afterward we could set up your playpen in
the front yard, so everyone could see you enjoying your little hobby."
"Mom, please. no."
"Come on, Jamie, don't whine, we're going to have a good time." Sally
grabbed me by the wrist again and hauled me out the door.
Chapter Three Baby Shower
Once we were in the car, I started feeling a little better. I figured
maybe I would just stay in the back seat, like I sometimes did, playing
with my Gameboy while they went shopping. Nobody would see me dressed
like a little kid. Boy, was I wrong.
"First stop, Babies 'R Us!"
Sally practically dragged me out of the car and into the giant baby
superstore. I couldn't believe that this was happening. But it didn't
seem like anyone around us was paying much attention or thought it
strange to see a teenager dressed like a two year old.
Mom said, "I'm going to buy Jamie a proper diaper bag first. Why don't
you girls look around and see what else would be appropriate for him?
It'll be fun, Jamie. We're going to give you your own personal baby
"I wish we could get him some clothes. Look at these cute outfits, but
they're all way too small." said Jillian.
"Well, if you see something really irresistible, we could use it as a
pattern," Mom replied. "Remember, he's also going to need some more
bottles, and maybe another bib."
Sally cried, "Let's go check out the strollers! They have some huge
"Have fun, girls!" Mom took a shopping cart and headed off into the
Sally and Jillian dragged me past the racks of little boy clothes. It
was ridiculous because everything was so small. But they oohed and
ahhed and held onesies and shortalls and playsuits up against me.
"We're getting some great ideas!" said Sally.
Then we went over to infant accessories, where they picked up some
Winnie-the-Pooh theme baby bottles and a large bib with writing on it
that said "Daddy's little helper". The stroller department was next.
Sally was right; there were some gigantic strollers. The biggest was
called the Century 4-in-one. Sally unhooked the infant carrier part and
pulled the huge stroller out into the aisle. "All right, hop in,
"Stop kidding! You're not going to push me around in a stroller!"
"Come on, just see if you can fit in it," Sally smiled coaxingly.
I looked around to see if anyone was watching. The store was pretty
empty. I sat down in the stroller and actually it wasn't too bad. The
seat was definitely wide enough to be comfortable, and I could even put
my feet on the footrest if I scrunched up my knees.
Click! Sally locked the bar across my lap. Suddenly Jillian was pushing
me down the aisle.
"Hey, cut it out!" I yelled. I tried frantically to unlatch the dumb
plastic bar that held me in the stroller.
Now we were right out in the middle of the store, and people were
looking to see what I was protesting about. One lady laughed, "Now,
I've seen everything!"
"Mom, check it out! Look what we found! We just have to get it for
Jamie!" Sally cried. Mom had a pile of things in her shopping cart. She
just laughed out loud.
"That is too cute! Who would have thought he could still fit in a
Just then one of the store managers appeared. "Excuse me, but I must
ask you kids not to play with merchandise."
"Oh, we're not playing," Jillian said innocently, "We want to buy this.
We just wanted to test it out to see if it would be okay for our little
The manager looked puzzled. "You want to buy a stroller for this young
man?" He glanced down at me and then I think he noticed the diapers
bulging out the legs of my shorts because he raised his eyebrows and
said, "Well, I see."
Mom said, "I don't know if we can afford to buy Jamie such a fancy
stroller. We still have to get him all kinds of other stuff."
"But Mom, it's perfect for him." Sally fumbled for the price tag. "And
see, it's marked down thirty percent."
"Actually, that model is marked down fifty percent, because it's the
demonstrator and the line is being discontinued. So if you really want
it. It is the largest stroller on the market, although I can't
guarantee how well it will hold up for an older child." The manager
looked at me dubiously, staring sideways at my thickly diapered crotch.
I felt my cheeks turning beet red.
"Okay, girls, you win. Now we've got Jamie more stuff than I bargained
for, so let's go check out."
"Can you let me out of this thing, please," I begged. "I can't find the
The manager looked surprised to hear me talk.
"No, Jamie," said Jillian, "We'll push you out to the car."
"You might as well stay put, Jamie. It'll keep you out of trouble,"
"But Mom, this is embarrassing! I'm fifteen years old! Diapers are one
thing, but this is too." Mom reached into her purse and pulled out my
pacifier. She stuck it in my open mouth. I was so frustrated that I
began to feel the tears welling up.
"You should have had these thoughts long before we got to this point,
Jamie. Now it's too late. Remember, as long as you act like a baby,
we'll treat you like a baby."
Mom turned and wheeled her cart toward the checkout. We made quite a
little parade. Mom, with a shopping cart full of baby items, Jillian
and Sally, pushing me in the stroller, and the manager trailing after
us, with a barely suppressed grin on his face.
The checkout girl started ringing through items - a huge Winnie-the-
Pooh diaper bag, some Huggies wipes, a big jar of Desitin diaper rash
cream. Mom had even bought a cute little kid bedside lamp with nursery
rhyme cut-outs and a lampshade that spun around to make shadows on the
wall. The girl didn't even notice me until a little kid over in the
next aisle pointed at me and said, "Lookit the big baby, Mommy. Lookit,
Mommy, he's got a pacifier too!"
I'd forgotten about the pacifier in my mouth. I spat it out on the
floor, and Sally retrieved it, saying, "Honestly, Jamie!" The kid's mom
gave us an impatient glare, and hurried him out of the store, but the
checkout girl just burst out laughing.
"Wow, look at you! What did you do wrong, silly boy?"
"We caught him snitching diapers," explained Jillian, "so now we're
letting him get it out of his system."
"Uh-oh, Did you go potty in your pants?", the checkout girl smiled at
"Yes, as a matter of fact, he did."
"Well, you've come to the right place then. Are you really going to buy
him that stroller? He sure looks cute in it. We see some cute babies in
here, but this one is the cutest, biggest baby I ever saw."
"We're definitely taking the stroller," said Mom, "Your manager said it
was on sale."
"Heck, they should just give it to you. This kid's the best
advertisement this store ever had. Could open up a whole new market,"
the checkout girl chuckled. She kept on chuckling as she rang up the
bill, bagged all the little items and watched Jillian push me out of
It was a shock to be out in the warm sunshine again. I couldn't believe
what was happening to me. I was actually being pushed in a stroller
across a crowded parking lot full of cars and people. Amazingly, no one
really seemed to notice. I guess they were all focused on their own
business, and weren't really looking to see if there was anything funny
going on. I was just another kid in a stroller, maybe a little big.
"I know what we can do next," said Sally, "Let's get Jamie a haircut.
There's that Snips & Snails place over by the drugstore." She pointed
across the shopping center.
"Good idea. He certainly could use one," said Mom. I had been letting
my hair grow for about four months, trying to work up a cool, grungy
look to go with my new leather jacket. Somehow I suspected that I
wasn't going to be wearing my leather jacket again soon. "Girls, you
take him over to Snips & Snails, and I'll put the stuff in the car.
I've got some other shopping to do, so I'll come find you there in half
Jillian swung the stroller around and off we went. When we got to the
haircut store she finally unlatched the stupid lap bar and let me walk.
I was extremely relieved that we weren't going to make a grand entrance
with me in the stroller. Sally took me by the hand and led me inside.
The place was definitely intended for little kids. There were all kinds
of bright colored toys on the waiting area rug and the walls were
painted with cheerful pictures of funny-looking animals. The barber
chairs were built to look like funny animals too. It was no place for a
teenager wanting to look cool.
"Hi there, can I help you?" a nice looking blonde lady greeted us.
"Our little brother Jamie here wants a haircut," said Sally.
"Okay. uhh, how old is he?", she said, giving me the curious look I was
beginning to recognize. "We don't do over twelve."
"Well he's actually fifteen, but he needs a real little kid haircut,
and we thought that this would be the right place."
"A little kid haircut? What do you mean? Like a bowl cut?"
"That's right, with bangs in the front, and really short in the back.
And get rid of those disgusting sideburn things."
"That would be cute. It would certainly go better with his outfit. He's
definitely dressed under twelve," she said, eyeing my bulging shorts
and stripy little t-shirt.
"I guess we could make an exception. What's his name again?"
"Well, Jamie, why don't you come over here and we'll give you a nice
shampoo." She lead me over to a washing station. The chair was shaped
like a baby giraffe, and it was kind of high, but I fit into it okay. I
leaned back into the sink and as I felt the warm water on my head, I
realized my bladder was about to burst, so I let go, flooding my
diaper. Somehow my plastic pants must have ridden up when I was in the
stroller, for all of a sudden I sprang a major leak. The warm pee
spread all over the seat of the chair, soaking the back of my shorts. I
didn't know what to do, so I just lay there, while the blonde lady
finished washing my hair with sickly sweet bubblegum scented shampoo.
When it came time to get up, she noticed my wet behind and the puddle
on the chair and said, "Oh, I didn't think I spilled any on you.
Sorry," she grabbed a towel to wipe up and sniffing the smell, said
"Honey, did you have an accident? Oh my gosh, you wet your pants!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I'm really sorry." I stood there
apologizing, with wet hair and wet pants.
Sally said "What happened? Oh boy, Jamie, you're a flood! Let me check
your diaper." The blonde lady looked on in amazement as Sally pulled
down my shorts, and ran her finger round the elastic leg bands of my
"It's okay, honey, it's not the first time someone wet their pants
here. Though usually they're a little younger."
"Those waterproof panties aren't too waterproof," said Sally. We'll
have to get you ones that cover your diapers better."
"Would you like me to throw his shorts in the dryer for a sec?"
"Thanks, that would be great," said Sally, slipping my wet shorts all
the way off and handing them to the hair dresser.
"But I'm not wearing anything but diapers!" I wailed.
"Don't worry, honey, I've seen plenty of diapers - not too many
fifteen-year-olds in diapers, but plenty of diapers. You just sit down
in the chair here and no one will notice."
This chair was shaped like hippopotamus. The lady put a towel down to
protect the seat, and I climbed in. I looked into the big mirror. There
I was, dressed only in that dumb striped T-shirt, socks and sandals,
with my diapers on display for all to see. The plastic pants stretched
over the yellowish padding bunched between my legs. You could
definitely see I was wet.
The lady started snipping away at my hair. "You know, normally I'd say
a bowl cut was a little childish for a teenager, but as long he's
actually still in diapers, I think it's very appropriate."
When she was done she fluffed up my hair with a blow dryer and asked if
I liked it. My blond hair fell in big shiny bangs just above my
eyebrows. The back and sides were almost the same length, which made my
ears stick out in a goofy way. Gone were the meager sideburns my
sisters had teased me about for months. I looked like a total baby.
"I guess it's okay," I mumbled.
"It's darling," said Sally. "Now thank the nice lady properly."
"Thank you," I said, climbing out of the chair.
"Here, pick a lollipop, you've been a good boy, even if you did make a
puddle on the chair." She gave me a wink and held up a bunch of
different colored lollipops.
I took a green one, just as a couple of youngish fathers walked in with
three kids. The dads looked at me standing there in my sagging diapers
in astonishment, but happily the kids just accepted it. The two guys
started whispering to one another, and smiling.
The lady said, "It'll be another minute before your shorts are dry. But
you should get out of those wet diapers pretty soon. We've got a
bathroom in the back if you want to change."
Just then Mom came into the store. "Well, that is an improvement. It's
nice to have my cute little boy back again. But whatever happened to
your pants?" Sally and Jillian explained enthusiastically about my
accident. I'm sure the two dads heard every word. "Well let's get you
changed then. Sally, would you run to the car. I packed Jamie's new
diaper bag already, but I didn't realize that we'd need it right away."
Sally ran out and came back carrying the big Winnie-the-Pooh diaper bag
Mom had just bought at Babies R Us. The dads kept taking it all in as
their kids played around in the waiting area. I felt like sinking
through the floor.
"I see you're well equipped," said the Snips & Snails lady, eyeing the
stack of neatly folded diapers that stuffed the bag.
"I'll take care of this change," offered Sally. She took my hand.
Everyone watched her lead me to the back of the store. In the bathroom
there was one of those flip down changing tables. Sally said that it
would never hold me, so I had to lie on the floor while she cleaned me
up and pinned on my fresh diapers. She did put down a little changing
pad and happily the floor was pretty clean, but it felt really weird to
be lying on the cold tile. She let me have my shorts back, and I felt a
lot better with a dry, covered up diaper. I sucked on my lollipop
happily and tried to ignore the stares from the two guys as we walked
back out into the hot, sunny parking lot.
"I'm starving," announced Jillian, "Let's get some lunch."
"How about Denny's?" said Mom, "It's right here, through the mall."
"All right," said Sally, "Come on, Jamie, hop in." She lifted the
plastic bar on my stroller and fastened me in again. I guess I was
beginning to get used to being pushed around. Mom shoved my big diaper
bag in the mesh carrier under the seat, and off we went into the mall.
It really was kind of cool rolling down the smooth, polished concourse
of the mall, going past all the stores and people. I felt pretty self-
conscious, though, and I know I looked ridiculous - a teenager folded
up in a little kid's stroller, with diapers hanging out the legs of my
red gym shorts.
But except for a few double-takes, people seemed not to pay any
attention. Or maybe they were pretending not to notice - thinking I was
disabled or something. A group of five girls did kind of crack up as we
went past, and one of them called out, "Hey, cute baby!", but Sally
just said, "Thanks, isn't he precious?" and kept going.
We got to Denny's and ditched the stroller in the vestibule. My sisters
agitated to get me a booster seat or a highchair, but Mom vetoed that.
The highchairs were way too small, and at five foot ten, I really
didn't need a booster seat.
But she did decide that I needed a bib. My new "Daddy's Little Helper"
bib was around my neck before I could protest, and the girls were
cooing over how sweet I looked wearing it, when the waitress came up to
our table. She didn't really look at me until Sally ordered the "Junior
Chicken Fingers Special" from the kids' menu for me.
"The kids' menu is only for ten and under," pronounced the waitress.
"Oh, but Jamie is our baby. Look, he's even wearing a bib."
"He's a pretty big for a baby. Why do you make him wear a bib?"
"We're teaching him a lesson. You see, Jamie actually wants to be a
baby. We caught him sneaking diapers from the three year old next door,
and now we're making him wear them all the time."
"Yeah, we're giving him the full baby treatment. We just bought him a
stroller. He's got a highchair at home, and we're even planning to make
Mom interrupted, "Now girls, come on, let's order lunch. I'd like a
tuna salad, please."
"Tuna salad, okay." Sally and Jillian ordered, and repeated the order
for the chicken fingers.
"All right, tuna salad, cheeseburger well done, Cobb salad, three iced
teas, and a Junior Chicken Fingers and a cranberry juice for Diaper
Boy," the waitress rattled off.
When the food came Mom poured my cranberry juice into a sippy cup. That
was the limit for the waitress. She began to giggle and couldn't stop
giggling until we had paid and walked out of the restaurant. She even
watched as I got back in the stroller, and she called over one of the
other waitresses to watch as Jillian started pushing me back through
"One last stop," said Mom. "Oshkosh B'Gosh."
"Oh, yes!" Sally laughed, "They'll have some sweet things for little
I was pushed in the stroller right into the OshKosh store. Mom made get
out and hauled me over to the boy's section. She found a couple of t-
shirts with OshKosh logos, and a pair of railroad stripe overalls that
would fit me. Then Jillian came rushing up with a pair of babyish
yellow checked shortalls that she had found over in the girl's section.
"I think these would fit Jamie, and they have some plain denim
"All right, let's try them on." We went to the back of the store where
the salesgirl showed us into the dressing room. She seemed a little
surprised to see the whole family follow me in. Unfortunately,
everything fit. Sally made me come out into the store wearing the dumb
denim shortalls to show how they looked.
"Aren't they perfect?"
"He does look pretty cute," replied the salesgirl.
"All that's missing are the snaps in the crotch."
"Yeah, it is kind of a little kid look," the salesgirl said, puzzled.
Jillian came up holding a toddler romper with a little airplane design
on the front. "I'm definitely going to copy this one for a pattern.
Jamie will look adorable in something like this. It's too bad you don't
have this in a bigger size.
"Well, we mostly get younger kids in here. How about this OshKosh cap,
though? And we have socks too that will fit him."
Mom said, "All right, but that's enough, Jamie's baby shower is done
for the day. You girls don't know how much I found for him at Sears.
And I made a stop at the fabric store too. He's going to have quite an
impressive layette. Especially since we can keep him just in diapers
and a t-shirt at home."
The salesgirl glanced at me again and smiled curiously. "Shall I ring
up the shortalls he's wearing, too?"
"Oh yes, " said Mom, "Here, Jamie, let's take those off. I've got your
shorts right here." She undressed me right there in front of the
register. There I was just in my diapers and plastic pants for the
second time that day. The salesgirl gave me a knowing look.
"My little brother had to wear those too until he was ten. We teased
him a lot about being a baby, too"
"But Jamie enjoys being back in diapers, don't you, Jamie?" prompted
Jillian. "Speak up, Jamie," she ordered.
I looked down at the floor and muttered, "Yeah, I guess." I was still
feeling really mad about being paraded around like an infant, and lunch
was beginning to move through my bowels. I thought, "All right, if you
want to play baby.", so I shut my eyes and squeezed and let loose a
load right there. The smell began to seep through my plastic pants.
"Oh Jamie, did you just make poo-poo?" Sally practically shouted.
"Eww. Gross," whined Jillian. The salesgirl looked shocked. I gave her
my sweetest little boy smile as Mom yanked my shorts on and dragged me
out of the store.
Chapter Four Nap Time
Mom said, "I think it's high time Jamie went home for his nap. Come on
girls. You can change him when we get back to the house. I'm afraid
it's your turn, Jillian."
So back I went into the stroller, the nasty mess of poop spreading