I foind this story at Deeker.com. IT was to good not to share.
If You Act Like a Baby."
Hi, my name's Jamie, and I just turned sixteen, which makes me the
oldest kid here at the KiddieKare Daycare Center by at least ten years.
But KiddieKare is where I've been spending my mornings this summer, and
things could be worse. I guess. You might ask what a sixteen year old
is doing in daycare at all, let alone why I'm wearing these cute
OshKosh shortalls with the handy crotch snaps for quick diaper changes.
Diaper changes? For a sixteen year old? Well, let me tell you.
I'm the youngest in our family. Jillian is three years older than me,
and Sally is five years older. When we were little and my sisters
played house, I always had to be the "baby". Of course, now things have
taken a whole new turn, and my big sisters aren't helping a bit.
To start with, Mom says I was tough to toilet train. I wasn't really
out of diapers during the day until I was three. And I was almost five
before I stopped wearing them at night. Mom and Dad were pretty
laidback about it. They did start worrying when I began to outgrow
toddler size Pampers, but then I finally started waking up dry, so it
was goodbye Pampers for me. I kept thinking about diapers a lot, but
thinking was all I could do, because there weren't any more in the
But our cousins' house is less than a mile away. They're all boys -
Tim, Jason and Josh. Josh is the littlest. He was born when I was six,
and it turned out he was a real slow trainer too, so there were always
plenty of diapers around their house. Whenever I went over to play, I
would sneak into the upstairs bathroom and swipe a couple of Josh's
Pampers. Until I was nine I could still get the tapes to fit around my
waist, and after that I would just sort of stuff them in my underwear.
I wore those Pampers whenever I could, especially to bed, and I really
got into the feeling of wetting them when I got the urge.
The first time I got caught was when I was eight. I was at my cousins'
house. My Aunt Lulu happened to pat me on the behind and felt that
familiar plastic crinkle under my shorts. She didn't say much about it,
but she made me take the diapers off and promise not to steal any more.
She also told my parents. I guess they were pretty annoyed. So I was a
good boy for a while. After a month or two though, the temptation got
to be too much, and I started snitching Josh's Pampers again. I think
Aunt Lulu knew what was going on, but she was nice and didn't say
I remember getting caught again when I was eleven. It was summer, and I
had stockpiled a bunch of disposables under my mattress. Mom found them
and confronted me. She was super mad, yelling that it was ridiculous
for me to wear diapers like a baby, and she made me go apologize to
Aunt Lulu. That was also the first time Mom threatened me with going
back to diapers as a punishment -"How would you really like to be a
baby and have to wear diapers all the time?" I didn't tell her that was
just what I was fantasizing about practically every night.
A year later, when she caught me at it for the third time, Mom made me
go talk to a psychologist. He said not to worry, that it was just a
phase and that it was up to my parents to decide how to deal with it.
He even suggested the option of buying me some diapers of my own and
letting me get it out my system."Once he realizes the inconvenience and
the potential embarrassment, I predict that he'll come around soon."
Mom and Dad talked it over, and in fact Mom was ready to get me some
diapers and let me wear them, but Dad said that sounded ridiculous and
he thought the psychologist was full of it, so the idea was vetoed. I
Then cousin Josh finally got toilet trained, and my supply dried up. I
had to figure out how to buy my own diapers! It was the year I turned
fifteen. I'd saved up money from mowing the lawn and raking leaves, so
I rode my bike over to the Walgreen's on the far side of town. I was
super nervous, but I worked up my courage, walked straight to the baby
section, and picked out a pack of toddler Pampers, some Johnson's baby
powder (love that smell) and a cute Winnie-the-Pooh pacifier. As an
afterthought I grabbed a package of Toddler XL plastic pants. They
looked huge. Maybe they would fit me!
Keeping an eye out for anyone I knew, I went up to the checkout, trying
to act casual. The lady just smiled at me and began to ring the items
"Big shopping day for baby!" she said. I laughed nervously.
Of course she didn't know the things were for me. Or did she suspect? I
was so excited, I didn't care. I raced home and smuggled everything up
to my room. Everyone was out, so I was alone. I had those big plastic
baby pants on in seconds. They actually fit! Though they were pretty
snug, they were obviously intended for kids almost my size. I stuffed a
Pampers in them, and I was in bliss.
I ran through that pack of Pampers in a week. I started wearing the
plastic pants all the time too - sometimes just over underwear, but
when I went to bed I would stuff a Pampers down into my plastic pants
and let loose. My pacifier started getting worn out from me chewing on
it every night while I jerked off in my wet diapers. In short,
everything was going great.
I went back to the drugstore a couple of times, and I just kept on
buying more toddler Pampers and sneaking the used ones into the trash.
One day Dad lost part of a new woodworking set he had just bought. He
declared a house-wide search, and while I was looking around in the
basement, I heard him yell, "Jamie!"
I ran upstairs. I could tell Dad was pissed off about something. He was
standing in the garage, where he had been going through the trash to
see if his stuff had accidentally been thrown out.
Dad was holding a plastic bag full of my sodden Pampers. He said,
"Jamie, are these yours?" I just looked at him, and he repeated,
"Jamie, are these your diapers? Have you been wearing these diapers?"
I couldn't say anything except yes. What could I do? I was so
embarrassed. I could feel my face turning red and my eyes watering. I
start crying when I get angry or embarrassed, which just makes things
I began telling Dad that I sometimes had bedwetting problems at night
and that I had been wearing the diapers to keep the bed dry. He looked
at me dubiously. I knew he hadn't forgotten my earlier episodes.
"Well then," he said slowly, "maybe you'd better go see someone about
"It's not that serious. I mean, it doesn't happen every night. I think
I'm getting over it," I lied. I could feel the tears coming.
"You'd better be telling me the truth. Bedwetting at your age is pretty
unusual. You are getting a little old for diapers, don't you think?
Where did you find these, anyway?"
"I bought them at Walgreen's. Dad, it's not a big deal, I think it's
just like a temporary thing."
"I hope so. I'll let it go this time, but if you keep wetting your bed,
you better tell Mom and me about it. And no more diapers! If you've got
a problem, then you've got a problem. But if you're making up a story
just because you still want to play baby even though you're a teenager,
then I promise you, this time you'll find out what playing baby really
"All right, Dad, I promise. No more diapers."
"I'm letting your mother know about this. We'll both be watching for
any more of this behavior. If you really want to act like baby, then we
will treat you like a baby. It's your decision."
"Okay, Dad, I understand." Now the tears were rolling down my cheeks.
"I don't know that you really do understand. I want you to repeat what
I just said. If you act like a baby, then you'll be treated like a
"All right," I sobbed. "If I act like a baby, I'll be treated like a
baby. I promise I won't do it anymore." Dad gave me a pat on the back
to calm me down, but I knew he meant business. I felt totally ashamed
So that ended my diaper wearing days for a little while. Dad and Mom
were both really mad at me. Since I didn't have the nerve to start
wetting my bed for real, I guess they knew that I was lying about
needing the diapers and that I was just into wearing them for fun. I
felt pretty guilty for a while, so I just focused on getting through
the year at school, and then it was summer vacation and I got my first
Chapter One Babysitting Brad
High school was out. I was pretty much stuck at home for the summer,
thinking about earning enough money to buy a car for when I got my
permit. So I needed a summer job, and it was natural for my big sister
Sally to volunteer me to take care of Brad. Brad is our neighbor's -
the Lawson's - kid. Sally had been sitting him since he was tiny, but
this summer she got a job working at McDonald's, which paid much better
money than babysitting
My best friend Jeff was away doing six weeks as a camp counselor, and I
didn't have any other close friends around or a girlfriend or anything
else happening. My sisters were both busy working. And when they were
around, the two of them - not to mention their friends - acted really
condescending to me - the layabout "little brother". Dad was at work at
the shop all day long, and Mom was really busy with her real estate. It
was boring being home alone.
So I told the Lawson's that I was cool to watch Brad in the afternoons.
My cousins Tim and Jason gave me a ton of grief for doing a "girl" job.
But I didn't care. I liked Brad. He was almost three, and still pretty
much un-toilet-trained, which meant that taking care of him was a lot
of work. But I knew I could handle it, and besides, there were fringe
The Lawson's are kind of "save-the-earth" granola types, and they never
used disposable diapers for Brad unless they had to. Except for
traveling and for Brad's daycare, they kept him in old-fashioned cloth
diapers and plastic pants. They even had a diaper service, which
delivered clean diapers twice a week and took the dirty ones away. This
seemed really neat to me. The first time I was left alone with Brad for
the afternoon, I got him settled down in front of the TV, and then I
was into his bedroom in a flash.
There were piles of fluffy cotton diaper service diapers on his
changing table. I unfolded a couple, hopped up on the changing table
myself, and smeared my crotch properly with some Desitin rash ointment.
I sprinkled my crotch with a big puff of Johnson's Baby Powder, and
proceeded to pin on two of Brad's diapers using his cute little duckie
diaper pins. My hips are super skinny, so the diapers weren't even a
tight fit. I guess Mrs. Lawson folded them up small to diaper Brad, but
when I laid them out flat they fit me perfectly. Even better - each
soft cotton diaper was stamped in the corner with a cute "Tidee-Didee
Diaper Service" logo in blue.
Of course, Brad's plastic pants would never fit me (I'd outgrown
Toddler XL a few years back). But I'd seen that the Medical Supply
section at Walgreen's had waterproof pants plenty big enough. So I took
my first day's babysitting pay and raced down to the pharmacy on my
bike. I didn't care what anyone thought seeing a teenager buying adult
incontinence pants. I was so impatient to check them out that I put
them on in the public restroom at McDonald's downtown. They were made
of the same kind of tough plastic material as Brad's, with the same
snug elastic legs and waistband. perfect.
The next day I was in Brad's room practically before Janet Lawson had
walked out the front door. It turned out my plastic pants fit just
right over the diapers I had "borrowed"- tight around the legs and
waist and really puffy everywhere else. I slipped my shorts back on
before I came out of the nursery. The extra padding made for kind of a
tight fit, but Brad wouldn't notice. It was a great feeling wetting
those diapers just like a baby, knowing the plastic pants would hold
By five o'clock I was soaked. I changed out of the squishy diapers and
deposited them in Brad's diaper pail. When Janet came home, she asked
me how Brad was doing and whether he had been a good boy. She had made
a big deal about watching when he needed to go and reminding him to use
the toilet, so when she checked Brad's pants and found that he was
soaking wet again, she got kind of annoyed. She said I would need to
work harder on getting him out of diapers. Meanwhile, I was just
getting into them.
Janet Lawson works at the same real estate firm as my mom. They were
really busy that summer, so I was regularly alone in the house with
Brad from one o'clock till five thirty or six. I was in diapers every
single afternoon for five weeks. Brad would take a nap for an hour or
so, and then I'd watch TV, but the rest of the time we would just play
around in the playroom or outside in their fenced-in back yard. I got
to be pretty brazen about being in diapers, and one hot day I even left
my shorts off. Brad went around the house just in diapers. Why couldn't
I? The first couple of times Brad saw me in diapers he laughed and
laughed, but he quickly got used to it. Being dressed alike made it
even more fun to play with him. It was like we were both just toddlers
fooling around on the rug with his blocks or out in the sandbox with
"You're great with Brad, Jamie," said Janet, "you're a real playmate
for him. I just wish you could help him learn to keep dry. He can't go
to pre-school in the fall if he's still in diapers, you know. Why
yesterday I even saw a dirty diaper in his pail. Are you sure that
you're reminding him to use the potty? It's not good if he's so
interested in playing that he just does everything in his diaper."
"Oh, I remind him a lot," I said, which was true, even if it didn't
make any difference. Anyway that dirty diaper was actually mine. I had
suddenly needed to poop while we were both outside playing in the yard,
and so I just cut loose. It was incredible to feel the load filling my
pants. I cleaned up pretty fast, and stuffed the dirty diapers in
Brad's pail. I knew that Brad still had accidents sometimes, and I
didn't think that Mrs. Lawson would notice. So I was kind of surprised
that she mentioned it. I realized that I would have to be more careful.
"Now Jamie, tomorrow night your mom and I are finally going out to the
movies, remember? We won't be back until late. You will have to give
Brad dinner and put him to bed. I'll give you ten dollars extra for the
"No problem, Mrs. Lawson, see you tomorrow."
I was so excited the next day. Once I got Brad into bed I was going to
have the evening all to myself. Right after I put Brad into his double
night diapers I put triple diapers on myself, and when I fixed Brad his
nighttime bottle, I warmed one up for myself too. Brad thought it was a
little funny that we both had bottles, but he'd gotten used to me
playing baby. Once he was asleep in his crib, I curled up in the living
room to watch TV, suck on my bottle, and soak my diaper. I was lying on
the rug watching some old cartoon tapes when suddenly I had a great
idea. The Lawson's had never gotten rid of Brad's old playpen. They
kept it tucked away in a corner to store all his toys. I pulled the
playpen out in front of the TV, cleared out a bunch of stuffed animals,
and climbed in it myself. I was in baby heaven. I felt amazingly
infantile sitting in the mesh-sided playpen, sucking on my bottle,
hugging a big plush rabbit, and watching Daffy Duck. I totally relaxed
and let my bladder empty into the fluffy cloth.
Suddenly I realized that I needed to go number two as well. Before I
knew it I had filled my pants with a warm soft mess. I rubbed the wet,
smelly diapers through my crinkly plastic pants and sent myself into
total baby ecstasy. I lay in the playpen - wiped out - mouthing my
bottle's rubber nipple, and letting the warm milk trickle into my
mouth. I curled up with the soft, furry rabbit and closed my eyes.
"Jamie! Hi, we're back! Jamie, are you in here? Oh my lord, Alice, will
you look at this!" I jerked open my eyes to see Mom and Janet Lawson
staring down at me in the playpen, their mouths hanging open in
"Jamie! What are you doing in the playpen! Are those diapers you're
wearing? I can not believe this!
"Look, he's got one of Brad's bottles! What do you think you're doing?
You're supposed to be babysitting Brad, not the other way around!"
Mom looked really mad, "Jamie, I think you need to explain yourself to
Janet. That is, if you haven't regressed back to baby talk along with
"I was. uh. interested in seeing what it felt like."
"I thought you would be through with this ridiculous, childish behavior
by now, but I guess you're not. I'm so sorry, Janet, I'm embarrassed to
tell you that Jamie enjoys pretending to be an infant. I told you about
the last time, didn't I, with the Pampers? Of course now that he's
fifteen years old I actually thought I could trust him. Where on earth
did you get those enormous plastic pants, Jamie? Are those Brad's
diapers you're wearing?"
"Of course they are, Alice. Now I understand what Brad was saying about
Jamie "bing a babee" and why we've been going through twice as many
diapers since Jamie started taking care of him. I had to call the
service to ask for extras. You've been doing this for weeks, haven't
you?" Janet glared down at me still huddled in the playpen.
I nodded, ashamed.
Mom groaned, "For Pete's sake, Jamie, you need a baby-sitter more than
So Mom and Janet gave me the full interrogation, and I confessed to
everything - buying the plastic pants, sneaking diapers to wear around
the house with Brad, dumping the used ones into his diaper pail. I was
so ashamed I actually started to cry.
"Oh, cut it out, Jamie, imagine seeing my fifteen-year-old crying in a
playpen. I think it's time I took you home."
I climbed out of the playpen and Janet suddenly started to laugh, "I
must say, you look pretty cute in those droopy diapers. It looks like
you're ready for a change though. Wait a minute," she sniffed, "You
didn't make stinkies, too?"
"Uh. yeah," I mumbled, trying to stop crying.
Mom said, "Dirty diapers. This is the limit! You remember what Dad told
you the last time we caught you sneaking diapers? He said you were
going to find out what it really felt like to be a baby. Well, I think
you've made it clear that's what you want. What do you think, Janet?
Don't you agree that a little baby treatment would be the appropriate
consequence for this outrageous behavior?"
"I think that might be just what Jamie needs. I'll send the service
right over in the morning. But you know, they have a two-month minimum
"Two months sounds about right. That will take care of him until school
starts again. Then he can decide if he wants to be toilet-trained or if
we should enroll him in Nursery School instead."
I couldn't believe my ears. Diaper service - for two months!
"The worst of it is that I'm going to have to find someone else to take
care of Brad during the day, because Jamie is definitely fired as a
babysitter. Now he has a new job. Brad's little playmate."
"You know, Janet, Sally did say that she was looking for something
besides McDonald's. They cut her back to the morning shift, and she was
complaining that she wished she had her old job back again. I bet she
could babysit both boys together."
"That sounds very appropriate. What do you think, Jamie, would you like
to have your big sister for a baby sitter? Aww. look, he's starting to
cry again. We need to get him changed. Shall I fetch some fresh diapers
for your little guy, Alice?"
"It certainly looks like he needs them. Yes, I think that Jamie needs
to be kept in diapers until he's good and sick of it."
Mrs. Lawson went into Brad's room and came back with a stack of cloth
diapers, some lotion and powder, and Brad's big changing pad.
"All right, Mr. Potty Pants, you just lie down on here on the couch and
we'll get you ready to go home." Pulling my plastic pants down round my
knees, she proceeded to unpin the dirty diaper. She handed the
offensive bundle to my mom, who took it with a disgusted look. Half a
dozen baby wipes served to clean my butt off. Then baby lotion and
powder were smeared all over my privates and a thick layer of clean
white cotton pinned around my hips.
"I'm sorry I don't have a fresh pair of your big baby pants for you.
But maybe your mommy will take you shopping for some more in the
morning." She pulled the damp waterproof pants back up over my diapers
and checked that all the fluffy edges were properly tucked in.
"All right, time to go home, Jamie," Mom said. She didn't look so angry
now. In fact she was smiling, like she was amused at how they were
making a total joke out of me.
"I'll go get my shorts, I think I left them in the bathroom."
"No shorts, Jamie. If you're going to be a baby, you'll be dressed like
a baby. I wouldn't make my baby wear anything but his diapers on a hot
night like this."
"But baby does need his bottle! Here, Alice, He can just keep this old
one of Brad's. And don't forget Mr. Rabbit, Jamie. You wouldn't want to
sleep without him."
Janet pushed the blue plastic Evenflo bottle and the big plush rabbit
into my arms.
"Don can come over for the playpen in the morning. We really don't use
it anymore. Brad's outgrown it, so I'll be happy to let little Jamie
have it as a hand-me-down. Nighty-night! Sleep tight, cutie-pie."
Janet patted my diapered behind and waved bye-bye as Mom dragged me out
the door by the wrist.
I was in shock. Even the great feeling of soft, bulky diapers and
gently rustling plastic pants was overwhelmed by the humiliation I felt
being walked down the street, exposed as a big baby. It was one thing
playing around in diapers with Brad, but I was fifteen, and I thought
of myself as a pretty cool guy. The diapers and baby play were my
secret, not something I wanted anyone else to know about, let alone the
Luckily it was pretty late already, and since we live right next door,
I don't think anyone saw me. But then Mom marched me in the front door,
straight into the living room. Sally and Jillian were both sitting with
Dad watching TV. They all looked up to see Mom and me walk in.
Clutching my baby bottle and the stuffed rabbit, wearing puffy plastic
pants and a t-shirt, I looked like Tommy from Rugrats.
"Well now, what have we here?", Dad chuckled, "has somebody gotten in
"I guess we shouldn't be surprised, but it seems that Jamie has been
sneaking little Brad's diapers every day for over a month. Janet and I
came back from the movies to find him wet and messy and sleeping in
Brad's playpen sucking on a baby bottle. Quite a display."
"Looks like the show isn't over yet", giggled Jillian, "Isn't he cute,
darling little baby Jamie! Wow, Mom, we should take his picture.
Where's the camera?"
"Don't worry, girls, you'll see plenty more of the new baby in the
morning. Janet and I decided that Jamie's going to get to be a baby for
the rest of the summer, but right now it's past his bedtime."
"What an adorable little tyke," said Sally. "Our own little baby
brother! Did you put him in fresh diapers for the night?"
"Of course we did; now he's all ready for beddie-bye. Say goodnight,
little Jamie. I'm going to fix your bottle and then tuck you in. Girls,
I'll be back down in a minute. We need to make some plans."
Mom was actually kind of sweet as she put me to bed. She gave me a kiss
and said, "It's what you want, isn't it? This time we're going to give
you exactly what you want until you've had enough, and then some. It'll
be just like the old days when you were little. Sweet dreams, baby
She gave me the warmed-up bottle of milk and turned out the light. I
lay there with my mind spinning. How could this be happening? My whole
family had seen me put back in diapers, and apparently I was going to
get the baby treatment for the rest of the summer. I almost wanted to
cry again, but there was something else I wanted to do. I started
sucking on my bottle and let the warm wet feeling spread through my
Chapter Two Special Delivery
"Breakfast time!" I woke up with a start. It took me a minute to
remember why I was wearing just my pajama shirt and… Diapers, soaked
diapers too. In fact my plastic pants had leaked and the whole bed was
flooded. Oh shit.
"Breakfast time!" It was Sally. She was standing in the doorway,
smirking at me, "You better get downstairs right away. We're all
waiting for you."
"Just let me take these things off. I'll be down in a minute."
"Oh no, Baby isn't supposed to change himself! We'll take care of
everything after you've had your breakfast."
She took me by the hand and practically dragged me down to the kitchen.
Mom, Dad and Jillian were sitting round the table already. I stood
before them wearing nothing but my pajama top and sagging yellowish
diapers. They greeted me with big smiles.
"Hi, Jamie," said Mom. "Looks like you had a wet night. Good thing you
were wearing those rubber pants. Come on, sit down."
In my place at the table was the old high chair from the basement.
"Let's see if you still fit in your old chair, little guy," said Dad.
"I put the foot rest a lot lower."
I had no choice. I sat down in the stupid highchair, and Dad snapped
the big plastic tray into place. I'm pretty skinny, so my hips fit in
the chair okay, even with my squashy, wet diaper, but my feet were
almost on the floor. From behind Jillian slipped a bib round my neck
and quickly tied it on with a bow. I felt my face turning red.
Mom smiled at me, "I sent Jillian over to borrow a few more of Brad's
old things from Janet this morning. Oh, and would you get Jamie his
juice?" Jillian placed a sippy cup full of juice on the tray. Then she
gave me a little toddler bowl of Cream of Wheat and a Mickey Mouse
"Eat up, Jamie. Don't you want to grow up to be a big boy? Or do we
need to feed you, too?" asked Sally.
I was hungry, and I didn't want anyone feeding me, so I started to
spoon the bland cereal into my mouth. My hands were shaking from
embarrassment and anger, and the mush kept falling off the spoon onto
"Putting a bib on him was a smart idea, Jillian," said Dad.
Just then the doorbell rang. Our kitchen door opens right onto the
breakfast table, and you can bet that I didn't want anyone to see me
sitting in the highchair. But before I could wiggle out, or find the
catch on the tray, Sally got right up and opened the door. I froze.
"Oh good", she said, "We've been expecting you."
A young guy in his twenties walked into the kitchen. He had on a blue
uniform with shorts and a patch on his shirt that said "Tidee-Didee
Diaper Service". Janet Lawson must have sent him over.
"Hi there, my name's Pete. I understand that you've got a new little
customer for us." He looked smiling round the room. Then he saw me,
stuck in the highchair, wearing nothing but my pajama top, a messy
Sesame Street bib, and an obviously soaked diaper. His eyes opened wide
in amazement. "Oh."
"Well, actually, he's a pretty old customer," said Dad, "but Jamie's
decided to go back to diapers for a while."
"Yes, we'd like to sign him up for the service. Do you think that will
be okay?" asked Mom.
"Uh, sure, I guess so," said the diaper service guy, "We do all ages,
but are you sure you want actual diapers? We've got these snap-on
incontinence pants that most of the older kids and adults use."
"No, I think regular baby diapers will work just fine for Jamie, the
big flat ones, just like those he's been "borrowing" from his little
friend Brad. In fact, we want the exact same service that the Lawson's
"Yeah, we're giving Jamie a chance to be a toddler again," added
"Looks like you're doing a good job. I've seen a few older kids in
diapers, but the bib and the highchair. that's kind of extreme. ."
"Don't worry, he's been wanting it for a long time, "Dad smiled, "Tell
me, how does your service work?"
Pete kept staring at me as he said, "Well you have to sign up for a
ten-week minimum. Your neighbors use about forty diapers a week, I
think, but we'll keep you supplied with whatever you need. I usually
pick up on Wednesday mornings. We'll give him his own diaper pail, and
we can wash any extras like plastic pants or rubber sheets. I just need
a thirty dollar deposit to get started."
"It's a deal," said Dad. "We'll start right away. As you can see,
Jamie's going to need a change pretty soon."
"All right", said Pete, smiling in disbelief, "I'll go get some
supplies from the truck." He walked outside to the big Tidee-Didee
truck that was parked in our driveway. I prayed that the neighbors
weren't watching as he returned carrying a huge stack of snowy cotton
diapers and a big bright yellow diaper pail.
"Would you like me to personalize his diaper pail?", asked Pete, "How
do you spell his name?" He cast me another wide-eyed look.
"J A M I E," said Jillian.
Pete took out a book of stickers and peeled off big letters in a
babyish play-block design. He stuck them on the diaper pail to spell
out my name." We don't usually do this for older customers, but this
seems like a special case."
Sally prodded me, "Jamie, tell Pete 'thank you'."
"Thanks, Pete," I mumbled, slouching down in the high chair, trying to
"No problem, kiddo" grinned Pete," I'll leave the paper work here.
That's your contract, general info, and our catalogue. Actually we have
quite a few options in the larger sizes - we sell a couple different
types of waterproof pants, and we can deliver disposables for him too,
if you want. Good for car trips," he chuckled.
"Great," said Mom, "I'm sure we'll be needing all sorts of supplies.
Here's thirty dollars deposit for you."
"Thanks, I'll see you next week. It's handy that you're right next door
to the Lawson's. Just call if you run out or need anything extra."
"We certainly will. Now say bye-bye to Pete, Jamie."
"Bye," I muttered.
"Do it nicely, Jamie. You can smile."
I tried to smile and managed a little wave, "Bye-bye, Pete."
Pete waved back at me in an amused way, and walked quickly out the
door. He flipped out his phone before he even got in the truck. I knew
he couldn't wait to tell his office that he had just signed up a
teenager for baby diaper service.
"Well, good, that's taken care of," said Mom. "So who wants to help me
get Jamie ready to go shopping?"
Shopping? They weren't going to take me out of the house like this.
"I'll help," said Sally, "I've already decided to call in sick at
Mickey D's today. I wouldn't miss this for the world."
"I'm free all day, too," said Jillian. She worked as a lifeguard at
Riverside Park in the summers, and she pretty much made her own
"Well, don't be giving your new baby brother too hard a time," said
Dad. "We don't want any tears. I'll see you after work. Have a fun
"Don, don't forget to call Charley about that idea you had."
"Don't worry, Hon. I'll take care of it."
I tried to get out of the highchair, but I still couldn't find the
release under the tray. Sally came to my rescue and let me down,
untying my bib and using it to wipe my face clean in an annoying way.
"Come on now, let's get you into some of your nice new diapers."
She grabbed a few off the big pile Pete had left on the kitchen counter
and led me up to my bedroom. Jillian was already there, ready with
powder and wipes and baby lotion. My sisters made me lie down on the
bed, pulled down my plastic pants, and unpinned the soaking wet cloth
between my legs. I felt mortified to let them see me naked, but before
I could say anything, Sally slipped a double layer of fresh Tidee-
Didees under my bottom, and proceeded to swab my willie with a cold
Huggies wipe. I just about exploded. I guess I must have yelped because
Jillian said, "Now Jamie, don't fuss."
Then Sally smeared baby lotion all over my crotch, puffed a huge cloud
of powder all over my tummy and my legs, and expertly pinned my diapers
in place, still using Brad's little duckie pins.
"Jillian, would you bring me those rubber panties we found under
"I've got them right here. Aren't they cute?" My sisters had found my
cache of waterproof pants.
"Hey," I shouted, "What were you doing looking under my mattress? You
should stay out of my stuff!"
"Mom found them weeks ago, Jamie. We know all about your secret little
"Oh, and here's your pacifier too. Maybe this will shut you up." Sally
pulled one of my pacifiers out from its secret place in back of my bed
table drawer. It was my favorite one - the red binkie with the picture
of the little truck on it. She shoved it into my mouth, just as Jillian
grabbed my ankles and started working my feet through the elasticized
legs of my plastic pants. She made me get up, and pulled the panties up
over my diapers. She snapped the elastic waist like a rubber band
against my belly, and said, "There you go! All clean and dry! Let's see
how long you stay that way."
Sally said, "Now let's see what else he can wear." She opened my bureau
drawer and started pulling my clothes out in heaps. "None of this stuff
is very appropriate for a little boy in diapers. Hmmm. I guess these
might be okay."
She picked out a pair of red gym shorts and an old striped T-shirt that
I had kind of outgrown. "Here, put these on, and here are some socks.
She handed me a pair of white crew socks. "You can wear them with your
blue Teva sandals. That will look sweet."
"How about this baseball hat?" asked Jillian. She had my Red Sox cap.
"Of course it would be better if it had one of those "Little Slugger"
labels. But we can take care of that later. Well, Sally, what do you
I took a look at myself in the mirror. The gym shorts were really
short, and they didn't cover up much. In fact the diapers kind of
filled out the legs so it was easy to look right up my diapered crotch.
And the striped T-shirt had shrunk so you could see the puckered
elastic waistband of my plastic pants sticking out above my shorts. Add
the baseball hat and the sandals and the pacifier in my mouth, and I
looked just like a toddler - an almost six foot tall, teenaged toddler,
but a toddler all the same.
"Not bad, it's a start," said Sally. Let's show him to Mom." She
grabbed me by the hand, and led me back downstairs.
"Good job, girls, he looks very cute. Are you ready to go? I've just
got to get my purse. Would you mind carrying this bag, Jillian?" Mom
handed Jillian a shopping bag, "I put a change in here for Jamie just
in case. All right, let's get in the car."
I spat the pacifier out of my mouth, "No way!", I hollered. "I can't go
out like this. Are you crazy?"
I really don't know why, but my eyes start watering when I get angry.
It's something I've tried to control, but I just can't. And I was
furious about having my private baby thing made into a joke by my
sisters. I could feel my eyes tearing up.
"Oh, maybe would you rather go out without any shorts?" asked Mom,
"that would be just fine. And afterward we could set up your playpen in
the front yard, so everyone could see you enjoying your little hobby."
"Mom, please. no."
"Come on, Jamie, don't whine, we're going to have a good time." Sally
grabbed me by the wrist again and hauled me out the door.
Chapter Three Baby Shower
Once we were in the car, I started feeling a little better. I figured
maybe I would just stay in the back seat, like I sometimes did, playing
with my Gameboy while they went shopping. Nobody would see me dressed
like a little kid. Boy, was I wrong.
"First stop, Babies 'R Us!"
Sally practically dragged me out of the car and into the giant baby
superstore. I couldn't believe that this was happening. But it didn't
seem like anyone around us was paying much attention or thought it
strange to see a teenager dressed like a two year old.
Mom said, "I'm going to buy Jamie a proper diaper bag first. Why don't
you girls look around and see what else would be appropriate for him?
It'll be fun, Jamie. We're going to give you your own personal baby
"I wish we could get him some clothes. Look at these cute outfits, but
they're all way too small." said Jillian.
"Well, if you see something really irresistible, we could use it as a
pattern," Mom replied. "Remember, he's also going to need some more
bottles, and maybe another bib."
Sally cried, "Let's go check out the strollers! They have some huge
"Have fun, girls!" Mom took a shopping cart and headed off into the
Sally and Jillian dragged me past the racks of little boy clothes. It
was ridiculous because everything was so small. But they oohed and
ahhed and held onesies and shortalls and playsuits up against me.
"We're getting some great ideas!" said Sally.
Then we went over to infant accessories, where they picked up some
Winnie-the-Pooh theme baby bottles and a large bib with writing on it
that said "Daddy's little helper". The stroller department was next.
Sally was right; there were some gigantic strollers. The biggest was
called the Century 4-in-one. Sally unhooked the infant carrier part and
pulled the huge stroller out into the aisle. "All right, hop in,
"Stop kidding! You're not going to push me around in a stroller!"
"Come on, just see if you can fit in it," Sally smiled coaxingly.
I looked around to see if anyone was watching. The store was pretty
empty. I sat down in the stroller and actually it wasn't too bad. The
seat was definitely wide enough to be comfortable, and I could even put
my feet on the footrest if I scrunched up my knees.
Click! Sally locked the bar across my lap. Suddenly Jillian was pushing
me down the aisle.
"Hey, cut it out!" I yelled. I tried frantically to unlatch the dumb
plastic bar that held me in the stroller.
Now we were right out in the middle of the store, and people were
looking to see what I was protesting about. One lady laughed, "Now,
I've seen everything!"
"Mom, check it out! Look what we found! We just have to get it for
Jamie!" Sally cried. Mom had a pile of things in her shopping cart. She
just laughed out loud.
"That is too cute! Who would have thought he could still fit in a
Just then one of the store managers appeared. "Excuse me, but I must
ask you kids not to play with merchandise."
"Oh, we're not playing," Jillian said innocently, "We want to buy this.
We just wanted to test it out to see if it would be okay for our little
The manager looked puzzled. "You want to buy a stroller for this young
man?" He glanced down at me and then I think he noticed the diapers
bulging out the legs of my shorts because he raised his eyebrows and
said, "Well, I see."
Mom said, "I don't know if we can afford to buy Jamie such a fancy
stroller. We still have to get him all kinds of other stuff."
"But Mom, it's perfect for him." Sally fumbled for the price tag. "And
see, it's marked down thirty percent."
"Actually, that model is marked down fifty percent, because it's the
demonstrator and the line is being discontinued. So if you really want
it. It is the largest stroller on the market, although I can't
guarantee how well it will hold up for an older child." The manager
looked at me dubiously, staring sideways at my thickly diapered crotch.
I felt my cheeks turning beet red.
"Okay, girls, you win. Now we've got Jamie more stuff than I bargained
for, so let's go check out."
"Can you let me out of this thing, please," I begged. "I can't find the
The manager looked surprised to hear me talk.
"No, Jamie," said Jillian, "We'll push you out to the car."
"You might as well stay put, Jamie. It'll keep you out of trouble,"
"But Mom, this is embarrassing! I'm fifteen years old! Diapers are one
thing, but this is too." Mom reached into her purse and pulled out my
pacifier. She stuck it in my open mouth. I was so frustrated that I
began to feel the tears welling up.
"You should have had these thoughts long before we got to this point,
Jamie. Now it's too late. Remember, as long as you act like a baby,
we'll treat you like a baby."
Mom turned and wheeled her cart toward the checkout. We made quite a
little parade. Mom, with a shopping cart full of baby items, Jillian
and Sally, pushing me in the stroller, and the manager trailing after
us, with a barely suppressed grin on his face.
The checkout girl started ringing through items - a huge Winnie-the-
Pooh diaper bag, some Huggies wipes, a big jar of Desitin diaper rash
cream. Mom had even bought a cute little kid bedside lamp with nursery
rhyme cut-outs and a lampshade that spun around to make shadows on the
wall. The girl didn't even notice me until a little kid over in the
next aisle pointed at me and said, "Lookit the big baby, Mommy. Lookit,
Mommy, he's got a pacifier too!"
I'd forgotten about the pacifier in my mouth. I spat it out on the
floor, and Sally retrieved it, saying, "Honestly, Jamie!" The kid's mom
gave us an impatient glare, and hurried him out of the store, but the
checkout girl just burst out laughing.
"Wow, look at you! What did you do wrong, silly boy?"
"We caught him snitching diapers," explained Jillian, "so now we're
letting him get it out of his system."
"Uh-oh, Did you go potty in your pants?", the checkout girl smiled at
"Yes, as a matter of fact, he did."
"Well, you've come to the right place then. Are you really going to buy
him that stroller? He sure looks cute in it. We see some cute babies in
here, but this one is the cutest, biggest baby I ever saw."
"We're definitely taking the stroller," said Mom, "Your manager said it
was on sale."
"Heck, they should just give it to you. This kid's the best
advertisement this store ever had. Could open up a whole new market,"
the checkout girl chuckled. She kept on chuckling as she rang up the
bill, bagged all the little items and watched Jillian push me out of
It was a shock to be out in the warm sunshine again. I couldn't believe
what was happening to me. I was actually being pushed in a stroller
across a crowded parking lot full of cars and people. Amazingly, no one
really seemed to notice. I guess they were all focused on their own
business, and weren't really looking to see if there was anything funny
going on. I was just another kid in a stroller, maybe a little big.
"I know what we can do next," said Sally, "Let's get Jamie a haircut.
There's that Snips & Snails place over by the drugstore." She pointed
across the shopping center.
"Good idea. He certainly could use one," said Mom. I had been letting
my hair grow for about four months, trying to work up a cool, grungy
look to go with my new leather jacket. Somehow I suspected that I
wasn't going to be wearing my leather jacket again soon. "Girls, you
take him over to Snips & Snails, and I'll put the stuff in the car.
I've got some other shopping to do, so I'll come find you there in half
Jillian swung the stroller around and off we went. When we got to the
haircut store she finally unlatched the stupid lap bar and let me walk.
I was extremely relieved that we weren't going to make a grand entrance
with me in the stroller. Sally took me by the hand and led me inside.
The place was definitely intended for little kids. There were all kinds
of bright colored toys on the waiting area rug and the walls were
painted with cheerful pictures of funny-looking animals. The barber
chairs were built to look like funny animals too. It was no place for a
teenager wanting to look cool.
"Hi there, can I help you?" a nice looking blonde lady greeted us.
"Our little brother Jamie here wants a haircut," said Sally.
"Okay. uhh, how old is he?", she said, giving me the curious look I was
beginning to recognize. "We don't do over twelve."
"Well he's actually fifteen, but he needs a real little kid haircut,
and we thought that this would be the right place."
"A little kid haircut? What do you mean? Like a bowl cut?"
"That's right, with bangs in the front, and really short in the back.
And get rid of those disgusting sideburn things."
"That would be cute. It would certainly go better with his outfit. He's
definitely dressed under twelve," she said, eyeing my bulging shorts
and stripy little t-shirt.
"I guess we could make an exception. What's his name again?"
"Well, Jamie, why don't you come over here and we'll give you a nice
shampoo." She lead me over to a washing station. The chair was shaped
like a baby giraffe, and it was kind of high, but I fit into it okay. I
leaned back into the sink and as I felt the warm water on my head, I
realized my bladder was about to burst, so I let go, flooding my
diaper. Somehow my plastic pants must have ridden up when I was in the
stroller, for all of a sudden I sprang a major leak. The warm pee
spread all over the seat of the chair, soaking the back of my shorts. I
didn't know what to do, so I just lay there, while the blonde lady
finished washing my hair with sickly sweet bubblegum scented shampoo.
When it came time to get up, she noticed my wet behind and the puddle
on the chair and said, "Oh, I didn't think I spilled any on you.
Sorry," she grabbed a towel to wipe up and sniffing the smell, said
"Honey, did you have an accident? Oh my gosh, you wet your pants!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I'm really sorry." I stood there
apologizing, with wet hair and wet pants.
Sally said "What happened? Oh boy, Jamie, you're a flood! Let me check
your diaper." The blonde lady looked on in amazement as Sally pulled
down my shorts, and ran her finger round the elastic leg bands of my
"It's okay, honey, it's not the first time someone wet their pants
here. Though usually they're a little younger."
"Those waterproof panties aren't too waterproof," said Sally. We'll
have to get you ones that cover your diapers better."
"Would you like me to throw his shorts in the dryer for a sec?"
"Thanks, that would be great," said Sally, slipping my wet shorts all
the way off and handing them to the hair dresser.
"But I'm not wearing anything but diapers!" I wailed.
"Don't worry, honey, I've seen plenty of diapers - not too many
fifteen-year-olds in diapers, but plenty of diapers. You just sit down
in the chair here and no one will notice."
This chair was shaped like hippopotamus. The lady put a towel down to
protect the seat, and I climbed in. I looked into the big mirror. There
I was, dressed only in that dumb striped T-shirt, socks and sandals,
with my diapers on display for all to see. The plastic pants stretched
over the yellowish padding bunched between my legs. You could
definitely see I was wet.
The lady started snipping away at my hair. "You know, normally I'd say
a bowl cut was a little childish for a teenager, but as long he's
actually still in diapers, I think it's very appropriate."
When she was done she fluffed up my hair with a blow dryer and asked if
I liked it. My blond hair fell in big shiny bangs just above my
eyebrows. The back and sides were almost the same length, which made my
ears stick out in a goofy way. Gone were the meager sideburns my
sisters had teased me about for months. I looked like a total baby.
"I guess it's okay," I mumbled.
"It's darling," said Sally. "Now thank the nice lady properly."
"Thank you," I said, climbing out of the chair.
"Here, pick a lollipop, you've been a good boy, even if you did make a
puddle on the chair." She gave me a wink and held up a bunch of
different colored lollipops.
I took a green one, just as a couple of youngish fathers walked in with
three kids. The dads looked at me standing there in my sagging diapers
in astonishment, but happily the kids just accepted it. The two guys
started whispering to one another, and smiling.
The lady said, "It'll be another minute before your shorts are dry. But
you should get out of those wet diapers pretty soon. We've got a
bathroom in the back if you want to change."
Just then Mom came into the store. "Well, that is an improvement. It's
nice to have my cute little boy back again. But whatever happened to
your pants?" Sally and Jillian explained enthusiastically about my
accident. I'm sure the two dads heard every word. "Well let's get you
changed then. Sally, would you run to the car. I packed Jamie's new
diaper bag already, but I didn't realize that we'd need it right away."
Sally ran out and came back carrying the big Winnie-the-Pooh diaper bag
Mom had just bought at Babies R Us. The dads kept taking it all in as
their kids played around in the waiting area. I felt like sinking
through the floor.
"I see you're well equipped," said the Snips & Snails lady, eyeing the
stack of neatly folded diapers that stuffed the bag.
"I'll take care of this change," offered Sally. She took my hand.
Everyone watched her lead me to the back of the store. In the bathroom
there was one of those flip down changing tables. Sally said that it
would never hold me, so I had to lie on the floor while she cleaned me
up and pinned on my fresh diapers. She did put down a little changing
pad and happily the floor was pretty clean, but it felt really weird to
be lying on the cold tile. She let me have my shorts back, and I felt a
lot better with a dry, covered up diaper. I sucked on my lollipop
happily and tried to ignore the stares from the two guys as we walked
back out into the hot, sunny parking lot.
"I'm starving," announced Jillian, "Let's get some lunch."
"How about Denny's?" said Mom, "It's right here, through the mall."
"All right," said Sally, "Come on, Jamie, hop in." She lifted the
plastic bar on my stroller and fastened me in again. I guess I was
beginning to get used to being pushed around. Mom shoved my big diaper
bag in the mesh carrier under the seat, and off we went into the mall.
It really was kind of cool rolling down the smooth, polished concourse
of the mall, going past all the stores and people. I felt pretty self-
conscious, though, and I know I looked ridiculous - a teenager folded
up in a little kid's stroller, with diapers hanging out the legs of my
red gym shorts.
But except for a few double-takes, people seemed not to pay any
attention. Or maybe they were pretending not to notice - thinking I was
disabled or something. A group of five girls did kind of crack up as we
went past, and one of them called out, "Hey, cute baby!", but Sally
just said, "Thanks, isn't he precious?" and kept going.
We got to Denny's and ditched the stroller in the vestibule. My sisters
agitated to get me a booster seat or a highchair, but Mom vetoed that.
The highchairs were way too small, and at five foot ten, I really
didn't need a booster seat.
But she did decide that I needed a bib. My new "Daddy's Little Helper"
bib was around my neck before I could protest, and the girls were
cooing over how sweet I looked wearing it, when the waitress came up to
our table. She didn't really look at me until Sally ordered the "Junior
Chicken Fingers Special" from the kids' menu for me.
"The kids' menu is only for ten and under," pronounced the waitress.
"Oh, but Jamie is our baby. Look, he's even wearing a bib."
"He's a pretty big for a baby. Why do you make him wear a bib?"
"We're teaching him a lesson. You see, Jamie actually wants to be a
baby. We caught him sneaking diapers from the three year old next door,
and now we're making him wear them all the time."
"Yeah, we're giving him the full baby treatment. We just bought him a
stroller. He's got a highchair at home, and we're even planning to make
Mom interrupted, "Now girls, come on, let's order lunch. I'd like a
tuna salad, please."
"Tuna salad, okay." Sally and Jillian ordered, and repeated the order
for the chicken fingers.
"All right, tuna salad, cheeseburger well done, Cobb salad, three iced
teas, and a Junior Chicken Fingers and a cranberry juice for Diaper
Boy," the waitress rattled off.
When the food came Mom poured my cranberry juice into a sippy cup. That
was the limit for the waitress. She began to giggle and couldn't stop
giggling until we had paid and walked out of the restaurant. She even
watched as I got back in the stroller, and she called over one of the
other waitresses to watch as Jillian started pushing me back through
"One last stop," said Mom. "Oshkosh B'Gosh."
"Oh, yes!" Sally laughed, "They'll have some sweet things for little
I was pushed in the stroller right into the OshKosh store. Mom made get
out and hauled me over to the boy's section. She found a couple of t-
shirts with OshKosh logos, and a pair of railroad stripe overalls that
would fit me. Then Jillian came rushing up with a pair of babyish
yellow checked shortalls that she had found over in the girl's section.
"I think these would fit Jamie, and they have some plain denim
"All right, let's try them on." We went to the back of the store where
the salesgirl showed us into the dressing room. She seemed a little
surprised to see the whole family follow me in. Unfortunately,
everything fit. Sally made me come out into the store wearing the dumb
denim shortalls to show how they looked.
"Aren't they perfect?"
"He does look pretty cute," replied the salesgirl.
"All that's missing are the snaps in the crotch."
"Yeah, it is kind of a little kid look," the salesgirl said, puzzled.
Jillian came up holding a toddler romper with a little airplane design
on the front. "I'm definitely going to copy this one for a pattern.
Jamie will look adorable in something like this. It's too bad you don't
have this in a bigger size.
"Well, we mostly get younger kids in here. How about this OshKosh cap,
though? And we have socks too that will fit him."
Mom said, "All right, but that's enough, Jamie's baby shower is done
for the day. You girls don't know how much I found for him at Sears.
And I made a stop at the fabric store too. He's going to have quite an
impressive layette. Especially since we can keep him just in diapers
and a t-shirt at home."
The salesgirl glanced at me again and smiled curiously. "Shall I ring
up the shortalls he's wearing, too?"
"Oh yes, " said Mom, "Here, Jamie, let's take those off. I've got your
shorts right here." She undressed me right there in front of the
register. There I was just in my diapers and plastic pants for the
second time that day. The salesgirl gave me a knowing look.
"My little brother had to wear those too until he was ten. We teased
him a lot about being a baby, too"
"But Jamie enjoys being back in diapers, don't you, Jamie?" prompted
Jillian. "Speak up, Jamie," she ordered.
I looked down at the floor and muttered, "Yeah, I guess." I was still
feeling really mad about being paraded around like an infant, and lunch
was beginning to move through my bowels. I thought, "All right, if you
want to play baby.", so I shut my eyes and squeezed and let loose a
load right there. The smell began to seep through my plastic pants.
"Oh Jamie, did you just make poo-poo?" Sally practically shouted.
"Eww. Gross," whined Jillian. The salesgirl looked shocked. I gave her
my sweetest little boy smile as Mom yanked my shorts on and dragged me
out of the store.
Chapter Four Nap Time
Mom said, "I think it's high time Jamie went home for his nap. Come on
girls. You can change him when we get back to the house. I'm afraid
it's your turn, Jillian."
So back I went into the stroller, the nasty mess of poop spreading
My stories | FTT "Two things have been true throughout human history: The first is that the world is gradually getting better; the second is that everyone believes that the world is very quickly getting worse." ~Penn Jillette
Mom said, "I think it's high time Jamie went home for his nap. Come on girls. You can change him when we get back to the house. I'm afraid it's your turn, Jillian."
So back I went into the stroller, the nasty mess of poop spreading through my diapers as I was buckled in. Back we went across the sunny parking lot to the car. Sally folded up the stroller, and Jillian fastened my seat belt, making a point of rolling down the window before she got in. We drove home in silence. I was happy to be out of the mall, and I was beginning to enjoy a new kind of power over my sisters. I could tell that Jillian wasn't looking forward to it being her turn to change me.
"Ohmigod!" Sally shouted, "It's two o'clock, and I promised Janet that I'd pick Brad up at daycare!"
"All right," said Mom, "we can swing by on the way. Jamie will just have to wait a little."
In a few minutes we pulled up in front of the KiddieKare place. I'd never been there before. Since I didn't have my driver's license yet, Janet always picked up Brad on her lunch break. It was a little one-story building behind the local shopping strip – kind of quiet with a big window in front and a fenced in play area in the back. Sally jumped out of the car and ran inside. A minute later she came out holding Brad by the hand, followed by a nice-looking curly-haired lady, kind of fat. What was Sally doing? She wasn't going to bring that woman over to the car?
"Danielle, this is my little brother Jamie, that I was telling you about. He's best friends with Brad."
"Hi, Jamie, nice to meet you," said Danielle, leaning in the window with a big smile, taking a good look at my bulging shorts. I felt myself turning red. I knew that Sally had just told her all about putting me back in diapers.
Sally continued brightly, "Brad and Jamie are going to spend the rest of the day having a play-date, after their naps, of course, and after we get Jamie cleaned up. I'm afraid he's a bit messy after spending all morning at the mall."
Danielle grinned, "See Brad, even big boys have accidents sometimes." She gave Mom a wink and said, "I always say that there's no point in rushing kids to grow up. Some parents go crazy about it, you know, like, 'How can he go to kindergarten in diapers? Will he still be wearing them in high school?' Well…", she paused meaningfully, "maybe he will… I say, what's the big deal? They dry up when they want to and not before. Especially the boys." Now she gave me the wink, "Don't worry honey. I think you're really cute."
Danielle pinched my cheek and bundled Brad into the car. "Bye-bye, Brad. See you tomorrow, tiger!" She waved as we drove away.
Brad was psyched to learn that I was going to play with him all afternoon and that Sally was going to take care of us both. Once we got back home Jillian took me upstairs to change my dirty diaper. Brad's old playpen had somehow reappeared in our living room, and Sally got Brad settled down in it to take his nap. Mom busied herself pulling things out of my closet and unpacking some of the Babies 'R Us purchases. While Jillian was pinning a clean diaper on me, Mom unplugged my old Red Sox bedside lamp and replaced it with the new nursery style lamp.
"There, that looks nicer."
"Mom, you've got to be kidding."
"You are hardly in a position to judge, young man."
It was true. There I was lying on my back on one of Brad's changing pads with my big sister pulling a fresh pair of crinkly plastic pants up over the nice clean diaper she had just fastened round my hips with little yellow duckie diaper pins. I guess I didn't look too impressive.
"Eww…Mom, we're going to have to flip Jamie's mattress. It's soaked", said Jillian.
"Don't worry, we'll take care of that. In the mean time he'll just have to put up with a little wetness. It's his own fault anyway…Sleep tight, little guy, it's nap time for you. Oh Jillian, would you get Jamie a juice bottle? And where's his rabbit?"
Mom pulled down the blind. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't taken a nap in the afternoon since I was four, but Mom looked like she meant business, and really, I was beat.
I actually slept for about an hour. Then Sally came in with Brad. "Wake up, sleepyhead, time for snack!" A little groggy, I followed them downstairs, where Brad and I ate a couple of cookies and got refills on our bottles of apple juice.
"Now you two can go play in the backyard. Jamie, you can show Brad your old swingset."
"Don't I get to wear shorts? Brad's wearing shorts." Wrong question.
"Brad isn't being punished. Come to think of it, maybe it would be better if I sent you out to play in the front yard…"
"All right, all right…" So we went out to the old swing set in the back, and you know, I had fun after a while. I started getting into the little kid mindset like I always did with Brad, and before I knew it Janet Lawson was there to take him back home.
"Hi, boys! Brad, it's time to go. Did you have fun with Jamie?" Brad squealed, "yeah!"
"How about you, Jamie? Having a good time? Are the diapers working out for you?"
Mom interjected, " Remember to thank Janet for the playpen, Jamie."
"Oh, don't worry about that. Brad has outgrown most of that stuff. It's just great that Jamie is interested in it, so I don't have to take it to Goodwill."
"Well, he's going to be a very well equipped baby. Did I tell you what Charlie said he would do?"
"Oh, I think that's just brilliant. I'll be over to help you tomorrow."
"Jamie, you should come inside – supper's almost ready."
Suppertime, and there I was again, stuck in the fucking highchair, wearing a bib, and little else. And my diaper was wet, too. I guess I had let go without really noticing while I was playing with Brad. My reverse toilet training seemed to be coming along pretty fast.
"Finish your broccoli, Jamie."
"But Mom, you know I hate broccoli."
"You'll eat what you're given. Unless of course, you would prefer to have your own special food."
"Come on, Mom, make him eat the toddler dinner!" That was Jillian…
"Let's see, what did I get," Mom went over to the counter and came back with three jars of Gerber toddler dinner. "There's creamed chicken and carrots, beef stew, and rice with peas. Would you rather have one of these, Jamie?"
"Then you had better finish your big boy food. Especially if you want to watch TV before bedtime." So I ate the broccoli…to the great disappointment of my sisters.
TV time was another trip. After Sally had let me out of my highchair and wiped off my face and hands with my bib, I was given yet another bottle of juice – where did they think it was all going to end up? – and led over to the playpen.
"Hop in, Jamie. This is where baby gets to play when he's in the living room." I was used to sprawling on the floor in front of tube. Now Dad had put the playpen in my usual spot, but it wasn't really big enough to lie down in. Worse yet, someone had filled the thing up with old plastic Fisher-Price toys of Brad's. I hesitated.
Sally continued, "Do you want to watch TV with the grown-ups or not?" I couldn't believe what was happening to me, but I got into the playpen and tried to make myself comfortable. It wasn't as much fun as it had been the night before at the Lawson's with nobody watching. Now I had both Mom and Dad and my two sisters smirking at me as I shifted around, my diaper squishing wetly on the playpen's plastic floor. You can get used to anything though, as I was rapidly learning. Soon I had forgotten my embarrassment and was happily laughing at Seinfeld – and sucking on my bottle.
Bedtime came pretty early. Mom changed me into my night diapers, and again, she was really sweet to me. I began to think that she liked having a big baby boy to fuss over. When she turned off my bedside lamp, I noticed that she had plugged in my old Lion King night light by the door.
The half dozen bottles of juice I had drunk in the afternoon all went right through my system in the night. I woke up a couple of times to pee and just let loose in my diaper, but I think that I might have wet even more in my sleep, because when I got out of bed I could see that my mattress was totally drenched. Downstairs everyone was already sitting down to pancakes..
"So, Jamie, looks like you're not quite ready for pull-ups yet," joked Dad. "I don't know how you've been getting by without those rubber pants."
"Now Don, don't tease him, it may be that he does have a weak bladder after all. Here, Jamie, have some breakfast." Jillian officiously snapped on another bib – this one had an embroidered teddy bear on it – and pushed the tray of my highchair into place.
"So, we've got a fun day planned for you, Jamie," she said.
"Couldn't be worse than yesterday."
"We're going to Riverside Park. Mom needs us out the house all day, so I'm going to take Sally on my free pass, and I bet we can get you in free too."
I loved Riverside, so I was kind of psyched to hear about the plan. But I began to have second thoughts after Sally changed my diaper and showed me the outfit that Mom had laid out for me to wear.
Baby's Day Out
"I'm not going to wear those dumb overalls to the Park!" Mom had taken the time to put crotch snaps in the yellow and blue plaid OshKosh shortalls we bought yesterday, but even without that little touch, I knew I'd look totally infantile wearing them.
"Then you can just wear your shirt and your diaper – you know the rules – we don't care if the whole world sees that you like playing baby."
"I will not! You can't force me!" Sally grabbed my wrist and dragged me down the stairs and toward the front door. All I had on was my blue polo shirt, socks and my blue teva sandals – and a super thick diaper and a big puffy pair of plastic pants. Sally opened the door and started dragging me out to the car.
"Okay, okay…you win…but we better not run into anyone I know."
"Why not," Sally replied, "don't you think your shortalls are cute?"
"But I don't want to look cute! I don't want to look like a baby!"
"Oh, I see, you just want to wear diapers and suck on a pacifier, but you don't want anyone to think you're a baby. Well, it's time to stop fussing, or you can just stay home and stew in your playpen. It's a nice day. Let's just put the playpen out in the yard…"
"No, no, nooooo!"
So I ended up going to Riverside Park dressed as a giant two-year-old. And when we parked the car, Jillian took out the stroller again and strapped me in. She hung the big diaper bag over the handles and pushed me over to the line at the entrance gate where there was already a crowd of people waiting to get tickets. I was freaked out at being surrounded by other kids – some were definitely my age, and I was sure someone from school would be there. But no one really seemed to notice the big baby in the stroller. Or if they did, they tried not to stare – I guess they figured something must be wrong with me. I shrank down in the seat as much as I could, trying to look like it wasn't totally weird to be a fifteen year old in a stroller. When we got up to the ticket window Jillian produced her park ID.
"Two adult passes, please. I work at the water park, and my sister's with me," she said, pointing at Sally, "And I think our baby brother here gets in free."
Now I saw what she was trying…over thirteen admission to the park is like forty dollars, and kids over five are twenty, but there's no charge for children in strollers…
The ticket attendant – a crabby looking older woman - glanced at me in the stroller. "That's a pretty large baby brother. He's definitely over five - looks at least twelve."
"Oh he looks like a big boy, but really he's just a baby…aren't you, Jamie?" She ruffled my hair, and I gave her a smile – the baby act might turn out to have some advantages. Jillian cooed, "Oh, did I forget your binkie, honey? Sally, would you get Jamie's binkie out of his diaper bag?" Sally fished out a pacifier and popped it in my mouth. "Actually," continued Jillian," I was wondering if you have a diaper station near this entrance, because he's going to need a change soon." She stuck her finger up the leg of my shortalls to verify this. I felt my face turning bright red.
The attendant sighed, "Okay, okay, the nursery is right after the merry-go-round. There's a sign. So that'll be two adult passes and one baby, but he's gotta stay on the kiddie rides." She gave me a disgusted look. "You can't go on the big boy rides unless you pay the big boy price."
"Hey, that's not fair! I want to go on the roller coaster!" I cried. Again I forgot about the pacifier in my mouth, so my protest was a little garbled. I spat it out.
"If you want to go on the coaster, kiddo, you'll have to get out of that stroller. You can't have it both ways." She stamped our hands. Jillian and Sally got purple stamps that said "ADULT". I got a blue clown face.
I continued complaining. "You said that we were going to the park, not just the kiddie rides! I wouldn't have come if you told me the truth! This sucks!" I struggled against the straps that held me in my stroller.
"No, Jamie, this sucks," said Sally, shoving the dirty pacifier back in my mouth. She smiled sweetly at the ticket lady, "Don't mind him, he gets cranky when his didee is wet. Thanks for being understanding."
"Kids", muttered the lady, "The things they'll do to try to beat the system….Well, you better get him to the nursery – follow the signs."
We headed into the park. I was pissed, in more ways than one. Even though it hadn't been more than an hour since we left home, the juice and stuff from breakfast had already worked their way through my system. When we got to the little building with the "Baby Changing Station" sign outside, Sally asked Jillian, "Do you think we really need to change him already?"
"Oh, I was just saying that for the benefit of old sourpuss at the ticket window. Jamie, you'll stay dry, won't you? I mean, let's go on some rides."
"Yeah, the merry-go-round, and the mini train," I muttered.
Now Sally stuck her finger up the leg of my shortalls. "I don't know. He's pretty wet already."
"Oh, let's just go. Jamie, you can get out of the stroller, " said Jillian, "I'm sure they'll let you on the big rides. You're certainly tall enough. They won't check."
So the girls released me from my stroller, and Sally parked it near the Nursery. We got in line for the Thunderbolt coaster, and everything was going great until…just what I'd been most afraid of…we ran into a bunch of kids from school. They were friends of Jillian's, all seventeen, and just one class ahead of me – these two guys, Mike and Steve, and a cute girl named Julie, and worse yet, my oldest cousin, Tim.
Sally and Jillian acted real friendly, and started giggling and chatting with Julie. I said "hi" to Tim and the two other guys, but I felt too mortified to say anything more.
Tim gave me a kind of amused look and smiled, "Dad told me what happened with you. But seeing is believing." Tim's dad is my uncle Charlie. I like him a lot. He's a really nice guy with a great sense of humor, and they have a huge house because he runs this furniture store.
"Your mom sure dresses you funny, " Steve snickered, looking my Oshkosh shortalls up and down. I started feeling kind of hot and sweaty.
"Yeah, that's the idea, Steve," said Tim, "apparently they're giving him the baby treatment."
"Baby treatment?", asked Mike, "What's that? Sally and Jillian burst out laughing, and Julie giggled too. I guess they had already filled her in on the details. I was so pissed – a cute girl like that. The hot tears started to come, so I bit my thumb and tried to blink the tears back down.
Steve snorted, "Aww, look, he's sucking his thumb."
Just then the line for the ride surged ahead and we all got up to the gate. I walked up toward the front. As I got into my seat I could see Tim smiling and talking to his friends, while they stared at my well-padded butt. I couldn't wait for the coaster to start so I could get away from them. But then one of the guys running the ride noticed the clown stamp on my hand.
"You can't go on this ride, you'll have to get off."
"You've got a junior admission stamp. It's only good for the children's area."
"But he's fifteen," protested Sally.
"Doesn't matter. They gave him the kiddie stamp. Maybe 'cause he's wearing
them cute little overalls." He was a huge guy with a beard and a kind of condescending smirk.
I felt the tears coming back. This full-time baby thing was getting me down. All I had wanted to do was try out one of Brad's diapers…and some of the other baby stuff…and now look what was happening! I got up from the seat in the coaster. There was no arguing with the guy.
"Shit," said Sally, "I'm sorry, Jamie, I guess you'll have to wait."
Julie, the nice-looking girl who was with Tim and the other boys, was standing right behind us, about to get in. She said, "I'll wait with Jamie. I don't really like roller coasters anyway." She took my hand, "Let's go over to the Tea-cups, Jamie, that's my favorite, and they can't kick you off that."
Steve shot me an evil look. Julie had been just about to sit down next to him. But then the Thunderbolt clanked off, leaving me and Julie behind.
"We'll have fun, you'll see," she said, dragging me down the ramp.
We headed over toward the Loony Tunes section of the park, where all the baby rides were. Julie was really friendly, and kept chattering away, asking questions and cracking jokes. She didn't say anything about my juvenile outfit, but she sort of treated me like I was a funny little kid, laughing at the things I said, and pretty soon I began to feel more cheerful. The Tea-cups were a lot of fun, actually. And there were hardly any lines for the other kid rides, so we went on a bunch of them – the mouse-trap (a totally tame "roller coaster"), the little cars, a kind of rocket ship thing. We got a few funny looks, especially when we were flying around on the swings and the crotch snaps on my shortalls started to pop open, but Julie didn't seem to notice. She just kept joking and laughing, and that made everything all right. As we got off the scrambler, though, she wrinkled up her face, and brushed at her jeans.
"Yuck! Did you just spring a leak? " she said.
I looked down at my crotch. My waterproof pants must have ridden up like they had at Snips & Snails, because the backside of my shortalls was suddenly soaked. I had let go a couple of times as we were walking around, and now my diaper was sopping wet. There was even a big damp puddle on the cushion where I'd been sitting. I was totally speechless. What could I say?
Julie called over to the ride operator, "I'm afraid this boy had a little accident on the ride. Do you have something to wipe off the seat?"
"Don't worry, happens all the time," the young guy smiled. He glanced sympathetically at my wet shortalls.
Julie grabbed me by the wrist. "Come along Mister Potty Pants," she announced loudly so the attendant and the other people getting off the ride would all hear. She marched me away, heading back toward the gate.
"I'm really sorry, " I mumbled, "I wasn't paying attention. I mean, we were having such a fun time…"
"…That you got overexcited. Yeah, I've heard that one before, but usually from three year olds. So where did Sally and Jillian leave all your stuff? They told me they brought along a diaper bag for you when you need to be changed."
I was horrified. "My fucking sisters! They told you to change me? Shit!"
"Don't have a cow! I know all about little boys. Here, this must be your stuff."
We had come to the place where Sally had parked my stroller. Julie took the big diaper bag out from the carrier under the seat. I couldn't believe it. My sisters had actually asked her to change my diapers, and now she was really going to do it.
"Aww…look, a Winnie-the-Pooh bag." She walked me into the nursery building, through the door with the baby changing station sign on it.
I prayed, "I just hope no one's watching…"
"Come on. You think it's a big secret that you're back in diapers? Heck, I could tell the moment I laid eyes on you. And the whole world saw your plastic panties sticking out in the breeze when we were on the swings. Lighten up! It's pretty funny, really, it's even kind of cute."
"But now everybody knows, Tim, and those other guys…it's humiliating."
Suddenly I realized that there were a couple of other people in the changing area. I shut up as I saw two mothers with three little kids look over in our direction. Julie led me over to the large changing table built against the wall.
"Hop up," she told me, brightly.
"Are you kidding?", I whispered, "you can't do this here in front of these people."
"Would you prefer one of the picnic tables outside? Or maybe on the hood of your mom's car? Come on, hop up, let's get this over with." She turned toward the mothers, "Ladies, you don't mind if I change this big boy's pants, do you?"
One of them smiled pleasantly and said, "Don't worry, this is the place. You go right ahead." She turned to the oldest of her children – a boy about five – and said, "See, honey, if you don't dry up soon, you'll end up like him."
I got up on the table, lay back and closed my eyes, muttering, "make it fast."
"All right, Jamie, just relax and suck on this."
Julie popped my pacifier into my mouth, and deftly undid the crotch snaps on my shortalls. She yanked down my plastic pants and unpinned the wet cloth bunched between my legs…I was naked in front of this girl I had just met. But before I could even think about that, she tugged another diaper up under my ass, squirted several puffs of sickly sweet baby powder all over my pubes, and pinned the dry diaper tightly round my waist. The two mothers just fussed over their kids and acted like it was normal to see a teenager having his diaper changed.
As Julie helped me down from the table, pulling up the waterproof pants from around my knees. She giggled, "Ducky diaper pins…I haven't seen those in a long time." She snapped my damp shortalls back together and gave me a gentle pat on my well-padded behind. "Now isn't that better? And your pants will dry out in no time."
I nodded. I couldn't speak. I felt totally embarrassed, but really turned on – exposed, but at the same time kind of safe and cared for. I just gave Julie a shy smile.
"You do make kind of a cute baby," she giggled, "let's go."
We walked out of the nursery building together, Julie carrying my big dumb diaper bag, and holding my hand again. There waiting right outside were both my sisters and my cousin Tim, as well as his pals, Steve and Mike. The smile froze on my face. I realized that I was still sucking on the pacifier.
Steve looked really angry - like he wanted to hit something or somebody. "You better take that pacifier out of your mouth, baby-face. What were you doing in there with my girlfriend? We saw you two going inside ten minutes ago, and we've been here waiting for you to come out."
"Actually, Steve, Jamie just needed to be changed"
"Shit, Julie, that is totally disgusting," Steve sneered. "You're not telling me you just changed that little faggot's diaper?"
"I did, and I'll be changing your diaper next if you give him any more of your childish asshole attitude, Steve."
"This is getting kind of bizarre," said Tim.
"Only if you want to see it that way," said Sally. We're simply treating Jamie appropriately for how he's been acting. Actually it's been fun having a baby in the family again."
"He is going to grow up to be one sick puppy…if he ever does grow up," said Steve.
"And why should he have to grow up? So he can be more like you?" Julie was pretty annoyed. "Listen, Sally, I would be honored to come babysit for Jamie whenever you like. I think he's much more intelligent and mature than Cave Boy here." She glared at
"It's time to go, Jamie," said Jillian, wheeling over the stroller. I was speechless. It seemed safer just to retreat into the baby role that was being offered to me. So I scrunched down in the stroller and kept sucking on my pacifier while Sally popped the lap bar in place and stashed the diaper bag underneath.
"Wooaah, check out the stroller…that is intense," laughed Mike, "Hey, can I push him?"
"Sure," said Sally, "I was thinking maybe we could go to Mickey D's for lunch. I've got to tell them about my new babysitting schedule, and I'm starved."
"I'm not going anywhere with that little pervert," said Steve. "I'd be embarrassed to be seen near him. Come on Julie."
"Actually, I think I'll join you for lunch. See you later, Steven," Julie smiled. You could see that Steve hated this, but he just grunted, and headed off toward the water park with my cousin Tim. So with Mike pushing me in the stroller, and the three girls tagging alongside, we went back to the parking lot, piled into the car and drove over to McDonald's.
Mike was clearly intrigued by what my sisters were putting me through. "Hey, you gotta get Jamie a car-seat, I mean, if he can fit in the stroller, why not go all the way?"
"We're still working on the details," said Sally, with a superior look.
We got in line to get food. Sally was still looking superior when she ordered a Big Mac and a vanilla shake for herself and a chicken McNuggets Happy Meal for me.
"Aww c'mon, Sally…I want to choose for myself!"
"All right…Milk or apple juice?"
"I want a coke." The guy behind the counter looked at us blankly.
"Baby doesn't drink coke," said Sally, "Make that an apple juice with the Happy Meal. Oh, and could you pour it into this please?" She handed the server a baby bottle from my diaper bag.
I could sense another no-win situation. The server guy presented the bottle of juice to me with a big grin, and Sally led me by the hand to the table in the back where Mike and Julie were already sitting. At least it was obvious I'd never fit in one of the McDonald's highchairs. But then Jillian reminded Sally to put a bib on me.
So I was grateful to be sitting in the back of the restaurant. While we were eating, Sally's manager came by to talk about her schedule. He got a big rise out of meeting "baby brother". Sally explained that because I liked playing baby so much, Mom and Dad had decided to make me do it until I got it out of my system.
"Watch out," the manager guy laughed, "He might just revert, and then you'll have to start all over from scratch."
Jillian replied cheerfully, "As a matter of fact, his toilet training seems to be wearing off pretty fast." Then, right in front of the guy, she stuck her finger up the leg of my shortalls again. "In fact I think he's wet already. When did that happen, Jamie?"
I felt my face going red again with embarrassment. All the attention I was attracting made me so nervous that I dribbled ketchup from the Happy Meal fries right down my front.
"You got yourself a handful there," said the manager as he walked away, shaking his head.
Sally refused to take my dirty bib off until I had finished my whole bottle of juice. The sight of me sucking on my bottle with the ketchupy "Daddy's little helper" bib around my neck was too much for Mike and Julie, who both got in hysterics. Mike was still chuckling when he said, "I'm going back to the water park to hook up with the guys. You going to come?"
"I don't think so," said Sally, "It's already Jamie's nap time, and first I have to pick up his friend Brad at daycare."
"You could come afterward…but I guess they don't make Little Swimmers in your size, Jamie. Hey, it's been fun pushing your stroller. Happy nappy!"
Jillian left with Mike. Julie and Sally drove me over to KiddieKare to pick up Brad.
This time we went inside. Danielle seemed thrilled to see me again, and introduced me to her assistant, Toni, a skinny younger woman, with lots of curly hair. The building had two big bright rooms – a playroom in front and a room set up with cribs and mats for taking naps in the back. A door lead through to a fenced-in playground with a sandbox. There were only two or three kids. I guess most of the others had already left.
Brad was happy to see us too. The girls chatted with Danielle while Brad started showing me all his favorite things – making me get down on the rug, climbing into the big plastic toy castle, pushing the fire truck around…
Danielle was acting super friendly, but she said, "Come on, boys, it's time to go home. Jamie, you're just going to have to come back and play some other day." She gave me kind of a big squeezy pat on the butt as I walked out. "I like you in those shortalls," she winked.
We drove home, Brad and me in the back. When we pulled up in front of the Lawson's house, Sally called out, "Nap time, boys!" She was right. I was pooped…literally
Sally decided to let Brad and me watch videos instead of actually taking a nap, so we sprawled on the rug in the Lawson's living room - just like the times when I was babysitting Brad and "borrowing" his diapers, Only now my big sister Sally was sitting on the couch, chatting over a magazine with her friend Julie and "babysitting" me. After an hour of The Pokemon Adventure, and another bottle of juice, I was way overdue for a fresh diaper. But Brad was still dry. Sally made him sit on the potty, and then gave him a lot of praise when he did his business "like a big boy".
"Brad's going to be ready for training pants soon. You, on the other hand…" Sally got Julie to change my somewhat poopy diaper right there on the Lawson's living room couch - just like Janet had the first night.
"Second time today," muttered Julie, "You really are a lot of work, stinkypants." But I had gotten used to the routine, so I just lay there contentedly sucking on my bottle and watching the tube. After Julie pulled my plastic pants back up, she surprised me by blowing a raspberry on my stomach. "I have to go now, so that's a goodbye kiss for my little Jamie," she smiled as she did up the crotch snaps on my shortalls.
I gave her a big smile, still sucking on my bottle. I was sorry to see her leave. Generally I could care less about my sisters' friends, but I was beginning to like Julie a lot. After quiet time was over, Sally sent Brad and me out in the back yard to play in the sandbox. Crawling around in the sand with Brad's trucks was fun. The two of us made a big road construction project. Then Janet came home and it was time to go.
"That's a cute scene. Brad and his little friend Jamie, playing together in the sandbox," she laughed. She whipped out her pocket camera and took a couple of snaps of the two of us before I could protest.
Sally had parked on the street in front of the house. She got my stroller and diaper bag out of her car. I noticed Uncle Charlie's van parked in our driveway. He's Tim, Jason and Josh's dad, and like I already said, he's really fun, but I was totally not excited about having him see me like this. I knew Uncle Charlie would have a field day about me getting "the baby treatment". Before I could think of where to run and hide, Sally grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the house.
Uncle Charlie and dad were standing in the hall. "So, how's the new baby?" Charlie looked me up and down. "Wow, Lulu has to see this…Jamie, you always were an adorable little tyke, but now you'll make the record books – World's Largest Toddler!"
"World's largest pain in the neck," said Sally, wrestling the stroller into the breezeway.
Charlie gave me a big grin and patted my shortalls on the butt just like Danielle had – it seemed to be hard to resist. His huge hand whumped against my diapers and made my plastic pants crinkle. "So, you're wearing your own personal port-a-potty! Very cute, very cute, and from what I hear, very practical…"
Dad was cracking up. "Come on upstairs, Jamie, and see what Charlie brought over for you."
Uncle Charlie kept talking as we all trooped up the stairs. "You know, we've been carrying this line for years, and I realized the possibilities right off the bat. For a while I was thinking that Tim might end up in one of these, and then Josh came closer than you'd think, but Lulu kept saying, 'Don't embarrass the kid, he'll dry up, it's just a phase.' So when I heard that you were having your own little phase yourself, Jamie, I realized that this was the perfect opportunity. I mean as long as your folks were redecorating and all…"
I followed dad upstairs. Mom was already in my room, putting things away in my bureau, but the bureau wasn't my bureau, and my room didn't look like my room any more. All my posters and books were gone. A wide strip of Winnie-the-Pooh wallpaper had been pasted around the walls. Almost all my old stuff was gone, and instead there was a bunch of Brad's picture books and toys. There was a new, smaller bureau, painted white with little red and yellow stars for knobs and a big white toy box with cut-out stars on it like the bureau.. . My desk was covered with a giant baby blue changing pad and there was a tall stacker thing filled with piles of diapers and plastic pants. The curtains were new too – blue with a Winnie-the-Pooh pattern on them – a Winnie-the-Pooh pattern matching the sheets on my…. crib.
"…The line is called "Crib-to-College", which is pretty funny already, and we sell more of the stuff than you'd think. I guess people like the idea that one piece of furniture will solve all their problems. It's supposed to convert from a crib, to a junior bed, to a full-size bed, just by changing a few screws and swapping the various components around. Well, I noticed that you could easily build yourself a "college-size" crib if you wanted. But we haven't actually had any college students asking for cribs, or even high-school kids – until now."
Charlie went over to the crib and showed how you could lift up the side rail. "This locks it in place, and when you want to slide it down you just press the button down here. So, Jamie, do you like it? I chose the white finish to go with the new bureau and your…uh…changing table. And, Alice, that Pooh wallpaper is just the perfect touch. For a one-day makeover, this is pretty impressive. You should send in some pictures and get on TV. Though I'm not sure whether it should be on "Cribs" or "America's Funniest Home Videos."
"Well, Jamie, what do you think? You should thank Charlie for all the trouble he's gone to. He's giving you this brand new special crib and a brand new mattress too. And this one has a plastic cover to protect it, so it won't get ruined like your old mattress did. " Mom gave me a meaningful look.
"Uhh, it's nice of you, Uncle Charlie…But, Mom, do you really expect me to sleep in a crib? What happened to all my stuff?"
"You will use your new crib, just like you will use your playpen and your highchair, until we think that you're ready to go back to grown-up things. And we're putting the rest of your big boy stuff away until then too. I think these toys and books are much more appropriate for a child who is still in diapers."
"But, Mom, you said it was just two months with the diaper service. This looks like you're going to give me the baby treatment forever." I couldn't help it, I felt my cheeks getting hot and the angry tears starting to spurt up again.
"You'll be a baby for as long as you keep acting like one," said Dad. "And crying is definitely not going to help. Remember…two months was the minimum. After that you can begin earning back some of your adult privileges. Meantime, get used to it. Now smile, and thank Charlie properly unless you're interested in a spanking."
I forced a smile, "Thanks, Uncle Charlie."
"I'm sorry, kiddo, I thought that you enjoyed all this baby stuff. Lulu told me you were always snitching Josh's pampers. I mean, I thought this was fun for you."
"Well, it is kind of fun in some ways," I mumbled, blushing.
Mom snorted, "Fun enough to steal and USE little Brad Lawson's diapers for weeks before you were caught. And that was just the latest incident. Remember, you were the one who chose to climb into that playpen. We're planning to let you stay there quite a while before we let you climb back out."
"Speaking of climbing, why don't you try getting into your new crib," said Dad, "see how it fits." I had to stand on the toy box to get over the rail, even before Charlie raised it up with a solid click. The crib was about the same size as my old single bed, but it felt different having those white wooden bars all around. I could feel the plastic mattress cover crunkling under me as I lay down.
"Cute as a bug. That crib was made for you, if I say so myself," Uncle Charlie chuckled. "You definitely won't roll out of bed. You might even have a bit of trouble climbing out unless the rail's down. But I guess wearing your own port-a-potty means you won't be making any midnight trips to the john." He let down the side-rail again and helped me out - not without another pat on my diapered rear.
"Oh, Jamie, look at the state of your overalls. You're covered in sand, and now it's all over the new sheets. Let's get them off you right away."
I was pretty grimy from the sandbox, not to mention the ketchup at lunch. Mom tugged the crotch snaps apart and yanked my shortalls right over my head. I was left standing there just in my diaper and blue polo shirt.
"Now that's a neat trick, Alice. So where'd you get him those giant rubber pants?"
"Oh, Jamie bought those for himself, if you can believe it, but I've ordered some more from the Tidee-Didee people. All right, Jamie, you're okay dressed like that. You won't need any shorts. We were going to go out to ChiChi's, but I think we'll just stay home this evening."
"That's good, because the sight of Jamie at ChiChi's in nothing but his diapers would probably start a riot, "Uncle Charlie laughed. " I've got to be heading home now, though it's clear all the entertainment is happening over here."
Mom and Dad made me follow Uncle Charlie out to the driveway to wave bye to him, but I hung behind on the breezeway. I didn't want to start that riot, after all. Even so the guy mowing the neighbors' lawn across the street shot me a puzzled stare.
Charlie rolled down the window of his van and said, "Now Alice, Don…don't forget about our anniversary party next weekend. Lulu is making a big thing out of it – she wants it formal – she's making me squeeze into my old wedding suit – but I think she just wants an excuse to wear her famous backless wedding dress again."
"Oh that'll be great, Charlie. How many years is it?"
"Fifteen. Remember, Jamie was only a baby…I mean, a little baby…And actually he came dressed just like he is now, if I remember correctly."
"Oh no, Charlie, I put Jamie in that adorable little sailor suit Lulu handed down from Timmy."
"That's right. Timmy was almost three by then – which is a tad embarrassing in retrospect, our taking three years to tie the knot, but there's no embarrassing Lulu."
"Who's counting now?" said Mom, "You know, I bet I could still fit into the dress I wore. Do you still have your old blue suit, Don?"
"I had to have it altered, but, yeah, I wear that sometimes."
"Maybe we'll all come as we were. Wouldn't that be a blast? I'll have to get busy." Mom cast me a measuring glance.
"Well, just remember to show up, whatever you do. See you, Jamie, sweet dreams in your new beddy-bye!"
"Bye, Uncle Charlie!" I ducked inside before the lawn mower guy came round again for a closer look.
The crib was pretty much the final straw for me. What was left of my normal teenage life? In less than a week my parents and my sisters had taken away all my adult privileges - things I had totally taken for granted, like eating in a regular chair, or choosing my own clothes, or even using the toilet. It seemed they were doing everything they could to show me that I was now no longer a teenager, but a toddler.
I had to wear a bib at every meal. I drank all my milk or juice from baby bottles or sippy cups. I was kept in diapers round the clock, and changed by Mom or Dad or my sisters at least three or four times a day. At home I generally wore just a diaper, plastic pants and a t-shirt, and when we went out, I was dressed in babyish shorts, snap-shoulder t-shirts, overalls, or rompers (Mom had been busy sewing as well as re-decorating). We usually took along my stupid stroller too, not to mention that humiliating Winnie-the-Pooh diaper bag.
But we didn't go out much. Mostly I stayed home or at Brad's. It was like being a baby prisoner. My sisters were delegated to babysit me in shifts – Jillian had me in the mornings, and Sally took care of both me and Brad in the afternoons.
There was no one I could talk to. My whole family had ganged up to make a joke out of me, and as for my friends…How could I let them see me this way?, Luckily Jeff was still away at camp. I knew that if I ran into any of the other kids from school they would be grossed out by all the baby crap, let alone my crappy diapers. Look at the way that guy Steve had reacted…I knew I wouldn't last a minute with kids my age. The only real friend I had now was Brad, who wasn't even three years old.
And now my parents had turned my room into a nursery, complete with a changing table and a crib. I felt like a freak.
At the same time, wearing diapers was still the biggest turn-on for me. I loved being in my new crib, jerking off into the wet cloth bunched between my legs. And all the attention I was getting from my family was actually kind of nice. It did get frustrating not having a choice about anything, but I kind of enjoyed my new routine of playing with Brad, hanging out in the playpen watching cartoons, and having my ass wiped for me. I started relaxing and getting into my baby role. And some of the new things were really fun, like being allowed to make a mess at mealtimes, not to mention just going in my diaper whenever I felt like it. Maybe I was a freak, but I was a pretty happy freak.
Then there was all the attention my freak show was beginning to attract. People kept popping by to see what was going on with me. Aunt Lulu came over for lunch to admire the new crib and to pat my cute little tush. And the next morning Pete came by from the diaper service, of course – he was supposed to come every week - but this time he brought along some guy who must have been his manager. I was in my room being dressed for the day by Jillian. Mom called up the stairs for me to bring down my diaper pail.
"But Mom, it's super heavy!" I hollered back.
"Bring it down right now, Jamie, or you'll be washing those diapers yourself!"
I had no idea that Pete and his manager were both standing in our front hall, so when I got to the landing I was kind of surprised, but not as surprised as Pete's manager. I guess I was quite a sight in my puffy plastic pants and Thomas the Tank Engine T-shirt, staggering downstairs with that heavy yellow diaper pail.
"Here, let me give you a hand," Pete said in a friendly way. "Quite a load you got there."
"Yes, Jamie's working hard at keeping you in business," said Mom with a smile to the manager, who looked wide-eyed as Pete emptied the stinky contents of my personalized pail into a plastic bag..
"He's certainly one of our bigger customers," replied the manager with a chuckle.
"Now, Jamie, here are your fresh diapers, " Mom said, taking a fluffy stack from Pete. "Be a good boy and put them up on your changing table."
"Sure, Mom." I could feel the two guys staring at my diapered butt as I toddled back up the stairs.
Later that same morning Julie and Mike came over to hang out with Jillian while she babysat me. I was riding around on my bike out in the backyard, so I did have my sneakers and socks on, but otherwise I was still dressed just in a t-shirt and diapers. My outfit left even less to the imagination than the shortalls Julie and Mike saw me wearing at the amusement park.
As they came into the backyard I heard Jillian complaining, "I'd love to do something with you guys, but I have to take care of the little twerp for four hours every day. Mom's gotten super busy with her real estate, and Sally is already doing the afternoons."
"Hiya, Jamie, said Julie, "How's it going? Jillian taking good care of you?"
"Woahh, rubber pants! Jamie, you are styling!", Mike guffawed.
We all played around in the back yard for awhile, kicking a ball around and playing a game Mike invented that he called "baby tag" – like freeze tag only you had to suck your thumb or crawl or some other baby thing. It was pretty fun, and Jillian asked them to stay for lunch. I knew that meant that she was going to show me off in my highchair like she had for aunt Lulu. Mike and Julie were totally into my "babyfication" – Mike's word. Julie insisted on snapping the bib round my neck, and she was even ready to start spoon feeding me the Gerber toddler beef stew that was sitting on the counter.
"Jamie can eat pizza like the rest of us," said Jillian. "He's been a good boy all morning. Mom, just bought the Gerber food in case he starts acting up."
"Couldn't you just spank him," chuckled Mike.
"We haven't had to…yet. Besides, I don't suppose he'd feel much through his diapers."
Julie said, "I wouldn't dream of spanking such a little cutie."
The phone rang. It was Sally. She had been asked to stay on for the afternoon shift at McDonald's, and she wanted Jillian to keep on babysitting me till she got back.
"Do I have to do Brad as well?", asked Jillian, "No? Well at least that's something" She hung up the phone. "Shit, I really wanted to go to the movies with you guys," she grumbled to Mike and Julie.
"I can stay with Jamie," Julie replied, "I don't want to see that dumb movie anyway. I hate Zac Efron."
"Hey, Julie chooses Baby Jamie over Zac Efron!" Mike laughed. "Ka-ching, brother, you're doing pretty good for a guy who's not even potty-trained."
So Jillian gave Julie the run-down on my care and feeding. She cleaned up lunch, wiped my face off with the bib, and let me out of the highchair. "Jamie is supposed to take a nap in his crib right after lunch, but if he's not too tired you can put him in the playpen to watch TV. He usually gets a bottle of juice. And don't bother changing him until he gets up, even if he's wet. There is a limit…"
"Crib?", asked Mike, "you're kidding. You just mean his room, right, not his bed?"
"No, I mean a real crib," Jillian grinned, "You want to come up and see? Actually you look a little tired out from your big morning, Jamie. I think you should have a real nap." She took my hand and led everyone upstairs on the "nursery tour".
"Jillian, your family is seriously strange," said Mike, as he and Julie gawked at all the baby stuff in my room. "You're going to have to invite me for an overnight. I'm getting jealous."
"Or you could just come over for naptime," giggled Jillian, giving Mike a playful little hug. "Oops, we gotta get out of here, or we'll miss the movie. You know what to do, Julie. We should be back before Mom or Sally show up. Have a fun time!"
"Be a good boy, James," Mike said, staring in amazement as Julie helped me up in my crib and drew the curtains closed. I could hear Mike and Jillian drive away as Julie came back upstairs with a baby bottle of apple juice for me.
"Now, be quiet for a little while, and then we can go play." I could see her smiling in the afternoon light that filtered through my new Winnie-the-Pooh curtains. She handed me the bottle of juice and brushed the bangs off my forehead. Then she gave me a little kiss. She gently pulled up the side rail and walked out, quietly shutting the door behind her. I actually did drift off to sleep, but not before wanking like crazy into my already damp diapers.
So I was a little surprised and more than a little embarrassed to get a boner all over again when Julie came back an hour later and announced in a sing-song voice that it was time for "a fresh diapey". This was already the third time she had changed me, but it was the first time no one else was watching. I lay stretched out on the desk Mom had converted into a changing table, and my dick just sprang to attention when Julie undid the diaper pins.
"Ooh, looks like someone's excited."
"I'm sorry," I blushed, trying to cover up my erection with both hands. Julie grabbed my wrist and guided my thumb into my mouth.
"You just hush, and think about your thumb instead of your weewee. I've got a job to do." So I sucked my thumb and tried to relax while Julie worked me over with babywipes, Desitin and talcum powder, taking her time, and stroking my stiff little penis and balls until I almost came all over again.
"Little boys always get excited when they get nice, clean diapies!", she sang, as she wrapped the soft cloth up between my legs and clicked shut the pins at my hips. She dusted my rubber pants with a sweet cloud of baby powder, then tugged them up over the soft, fluffy diapers. It felt great. Best of all, she gave me another funny raspberry kiss on the tummy. I gave her a big hug as she helped me off the changing table.
"Now, aren't you the sweetest, most affectionate little guy! Let's go downstairs and get you a snack."
The sun had clouded over, and it had started to rain. So after Julie fixed me up with some carrot sticks and another bottle of cranberry juice, we decided to play a board game.
"Chutes and ladders?", she suggested
"Monopoly, then. Though I'm glad to know that there's something that's too babyish for you."
We were having a good time sitting around on the rug in the den. I was even winning. Then the phone rang, and Julie jumped up to pick it up.
"Hello. No, she's not here. No, I'm Julie, I'm babysitting Jamie." My heart sank. "Oh, you want to talk to him? Hang on…" She smiled, handing me the phone. "It's your friend, Jeff."
I grabbed the phone, "Hi Jeff! You back already?"
"Yeah, camp finished last weekend, but the counselors had to stay a couple of days to pack up and have meetings about next year. It's great to be back."
"Was it fun, did you have a good time?"
"Sure, I was thinking maybe you could come over and I could tell you about it. My dad says he could come pick you up."
"Uh…I can't right now. I'm sort of grounded."
"Well, how about if I came over to your house. Nothing's going on here."
"I don't think that would be a good idea. I'd have to ask Mom or Dad and they're out." Julie smiled, watching me squirm.
"So they got you a babysitter? Who's that girl on the phone?"
"Oh, that's Julie, she's my sisters' friend. She was just joking."
"Real funny sense of humor. I thought you were the one doing the babysitting. How's that been going? You've been watching a lot of Teletubbies with Brad?"
"Yeah…So, Jeff, I'll ask my folks when I can come over. I'll call you back later, okay? I mean…it's great that you're back!"
"Sure, take it easy. Don't let your babysitter give you too hard a time."
"She was just kidding."
"Yeah, right. Well, let me know if 'Mommy' gives you permission and you can come for a 'sleepover'. How about Sunday?"
"Yeah…It would be great to spend the night…"
"Sure, it would be cool. Just let me know when." We said goodbye.
What was I going to do? Jeff was my best friend. We'd known each other forever, and I couldn't imagine explaining to him about the diapers, or any of the other things that had been going on. I was going to have to ask Mom and Dad to give me some kind of break.
I hung up the phone and almost yelled, "Julie, what do you mean telling my best friend that you're 'babysitting' me? I mean, what's he going to think?" I was crying with anger.
"What was I supposed to say, honey? I could have said that I was just here to fix you bottles and occasionally change your diapers. In my book that's babysitting."
"You could have just said nothing," I wept.
"I'm sorry, Jamie. Don't cry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. Come on. Let's finish the game." She washed my tears off with a baby wipe, and gave me a kiss.
So Julie and I went back to playing Monopoly. I told her a little about Jeff and about how I was worried about him knowing I was being kept in diapers. She suggested that I go ahead and ask my parents really nicely to make an exception for visiting Jeff's house. This idea cheered me up a lot, even though I told Julie I didn't think they would go for it. Just then Mom walked in the door.
"Why hello, Julie, this is a nice surprise," said Mom, dumping a bunch of shopping bags by the door. "Where's Sally? I thought she was going to be here this afternoon." Julie explained the whole scenario. Mom replied, "I hope Jamie's been a good boy for you."
"Jamie's been good as gold, Mrs. Bennett. We had a lot of fun."
I gathered up my nerve, "Mom?"
"Jeff called. He's back from camp."
"Isn't that nice? How is he?"
"He's fine. He wanted me to come over Sunday night."
"Oh really, well… Are you sure you want to go out visiting under the circumstances?" She glanced down at my bulging plastic pants.
"Of course not, Mom, I really don't want Jeff to see me in diapers. Please, Mom, couldn't you let me go back to normal, just for one night?"
"I'll have to ask your father. Remember, you're only just starting your second week with the diaper service. It seems a little soon to start bending the rules, but if you really are getting sick of it…I guess that's the point of this whole exercise, isn't it?"
"So it's okay, Mom, really? Please, please!" Mom smiled. I hoped that meant yes.
Julie told Mom that it was time for her to be getting along.
"Thanks, Julie. You've been really kind to stay and watch Jamie."
Julie laughed, "I'll be happy to babysit him anytime."
"I might just take you up on that offer, Julie. In fact, what are you doing tomorrow night? We have to go out to a restaurant for my sister's anniversary dinner, and there's dancing afterward. I'm afraid it's going to go way past Jamie's new bedtime."
"I'm not doing anything tomorrow. When would you want me come?"
"Not until after five. My sister Lulu is making a whole day of it. Her actual wedding was nowhere near this elaborate, but I guess she's making up for it now. First they're renewing their vows, then they're inviting everyone who was at the original wedding to some kind of picnic…then there's this big dinner, and we're all supposed to dress up as close as we can to what we wore fifteen years ago. I've still got my old outfit, and I just found some cute lacy pink dresses for Jillian and Sally that are sort of like what they wore as flower girls…they were just little then. Oh, that reminds me…Jamie, take off your shirt. Here, I want you to try something on."
My t-shirt was pretty much all I was wearing. I looked over sort of shyly toward Julie, but Mom gave me a meaningful glance, so I took off my shirt. Then she pulled something out of one of her shopping bags. "Rita – she's one of the women in my office – whipped this up practically overnight. I mentioned the idea to her a few days ago, and I knew I wouldn't have time to do it myself, but then she thought it sounded so cute…" She shook out a thing made of blue fabric and slipped it over my head.
"Come on, Jamie, lift up your arms," she shoved my hands through the armholes of what seemed like a very short dress.
I screamed, "I won't! I won't! You can't make me wear a dress! I'm not a girl! You can treat me like a baby, but I'm not a girl!"
"Shush! Silly, it's not a dress. Stand still." Mom reached down between my legs and started snapping the garment together. Four crotch snaps turned the dress into a kind of romper. Then she tied two loose ends of ribbon which hung down the front into a bow. "There you are!" Mom cooed, "Isn't that precious!"
I was wearing a light blue romper suit, with a big white sailor collar. It had short sleeves and legs and a little pocket in front with a gold embroidered anchor. Mom pulled a tiny version of the same outfit out of her bag. "See, I gave Rita his old one to copy, and I just told her that now he was 5'-10 and 140 pounds, and see, it's a perfect fit! Rita even made sure to leave plenty of extra room for his diapers…When I told her that Jamie was back in diapers, she just thought it was too funny. She insisted on getting a picture…Oh, we'll have to take pictures."
"Totally sweet," Julie smiled.
"Mom, I am not going to wear this to the party," I said, staring her straight in the eye and looking as serious as a guy could wearing a sailor suit romper.
She stared straight back, "Then I guess you won't be going to Jeff's house, unless of course you want me to call his mother and explain that you'll be bringing your little diaper bag along with you. I wonder if she would mind changing you in the morning?"
"Mom!" Shit…she had me by the short hairs as usual. "All right, I'll wear the stupid sailor suit, as long as I can go to Jeff's on Sunday without you humiliating me." My eyes were watering again. Why was I such a crybaby?
"Good choice, Jamie." Then Mom's look softened. "Look, honey, if you really are serious about ending the baby treatment, I'll talk to Dad. Maybe after this weekend we could let you go back to being a big boy again. Meanwhile, you look just darling in that sailor outfit. It's so nice to have my little angel back again!" She gave me a big hug.
"Your mom's right, Jamie, you look super cute in that suit. I know you'll have fun tomorrow, and I'll see you afterwards." Julie quickly kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my hand tight. "Look, here's Sally and Jillian! I've got to run. I've got another babysitting job this evening and I'm already late. Bye!"
Come As You Were
And that was how I ended up Saturday morning sitting in the back of the minivan, heading to a big party with all my relatives – a teenager wearing a baby blue sailor suit romper with "plenty of extra room" for my diapers. At least there was a chance that this would be my farewell appearance as "baby." Mom had talked to Dad, and they both agreed that I could start going back to normal if I behaved myself over the weekend. Although Dad did say I was going to be sleeping in the crib for a while, since they'd actually gotten rid of my old bed. Well, I guess I wouldn't be inviting Jeff up to my room anytime soon…
Mom and Dad had squeezed themselves into their old clothes, and Jillian and Sally were looking pretty good in pink flower girl dresses – kind of sexy flower girls actually. And then there was me – the baby of the family – all ready to be shown off in my cute little playsuit. My big-footed sister Sally had even given me a pair of her kiddie-style red t-strap sandals - complete with stupid-looking white ankle socks, of course.
We arrived at Lulu and Charlie's house, and Jillian pretty much dragged me out of the car. I was in no hurry to be seen in my costume. But right at the door we were greeted by Lulu and my ten year old cousin, Josh. Lulu had on her old wedding dress, which looked kind of tight. Josh hadn't put on anything special at all.
"Will you look at that! You all take the cake!" screamed Lulu, "I can't believe the whole family…Ohmigod! Alice, you look amazing! Sally, Jillian…how sweet! And what have we here?" She gave me the once over. "Jamie, you win the prize…why, you look just like when you were a toddler! That is the identical outfit you wore to our wedding! I can't believe it. And look at your darling shoes! You are too much." She gave me a big squeeze. I felt my face flush.
"Hi, Jamie," said Josh, with a huge grin on his face.
Then we were surrounded by people – my other cousins, my grandparents, the neighbors – everyone laughing at our outfits. I even started feeling a little less hot and embarrassed as it became clear that everyone thought that my sailor suit was just a cute joke. We all went up on the deck in back of the house, and Charlie and Lulu went through a whole thing about "renewing their vows". By then it was about noon, and it was getting pretty warm. Everyone kind of scattered around the back yard while we waited for lunch. The grown-ups started having drinks. Sally came round while I was talking to Jason, my fourteen year old cousin, and handed me a sippy cup full of cranberry juice.
"Wow, Jamie, it really is 'Baby Days' for you again, isn't it?" Jason's eyes went wide. "Dad told me about your crib. And Tim said your sisters took you to Riverside in a stroller."
"It's kind of weird, isn't it? Dad said he thought you might actually be into it."
"Well…I'm not into this fucking sailor suit…. How come you don't have to wear a special outfit?"
"Josh and I weren't even born fifteen years ago. Mom said we should just come butt-naked. Of course, she was joking. But look at Tim. Mom made him wear those shorts, though that's probably what he would want to wear anyway."
My cousin Tim had on a pair of khaki shorts and a button-down shirt with a bow-tie. I guess that was what he wore to his parents' wedding back when he was three, but like my sisters in their frilly dresses, he still didn't look like a total fool.
Just then Gran came over. "It's time for the pictures, boys. Come on, Jamie. You're supposed to sit in my lap. Lulu says she wants to set it up just like the wedding picture was."
I loved Gran. But I was embarrassed about sitting in her lap. Still, everyone was really funny and cheerful about the whole dumb thing, so after we were all lined up, I eased myself down on her bony old knees. She gave me a big squeeze.
"You certainly are a bit heavier than the last time we did this. But otherwise it's just the same." I could feel Gran's fingers tickling up the leg of my shorts. "And Lulu tells me that they've even got you back in diapers? Isn't that the limit? Well, I guess it runs in the family. I had your uncle Jack in them every night until he was twelve, or maybe thirteen. And Tim…"
Gran leaned over toward Tim, who was standing just in front of us. "Tim, didn't you stay in diapers an extraordinarily long time? I remember seeing you still in rubber pants when you were almost nine."
Tim blushed, "Yeah, Gran, but that was just at night, and Jamie's fifteen. He's a pretty severe case."
"Well, you're all my babies, the whole lot of you. And it's extra nice to see Jamie back in his sweet little sailor suit again." They snapped the photo, and Gran gave me a big kiss. I love Gran.
Then it was time for lunch. The other kids were mostly avoiding me, but the grownups kept hovering around, pinching my cheeks or patting my well-padded behind, especially the women. Mom was standing next to me talking to Janet Lawson.
"I think we'll have to let Jamie off the hook, pretty soon. It's just so much work having to babysit him constantly…. After Jillian's schedule at the park changes next week, I won't have anyone to watch him in the mornings. There is this new girl, Julie, who's sitting tonight, but I'm sure she'll want to be paid by the hour…"
"Well, Alice, I already told you what I think you should do. It's really not all that expensive, and they're busy and happy all morning and even get lunch. I know Danielle would be open to the idea. She thinks he's cute."
"Maybe…I just don't know how long I can keep it up, no matter how much he deserves it. And of course he has to go back to normal anyway before school starts."
Jillian came over carrying the Winnie-the-Pooh bag. "Oh, good, " said Mom, "Could you just help Jamie with his lunch? The little kids are supposed to sit over at the picnic table. Just make sure he doesn't make a mess of his sailor suit."
"Alice, that outfit is the most adorable thing I've ever seen," Janet chuckled. "I haven't got anything half as cute for Brad." It was true. Brad was dressed in some basic shorts and a shirt. I was the real baby of the party.
Jillian took me by the hand, and got us some plates of Lulu's fried chicken and cornbread. We sat down at the picnic table where Jason and Josh and some of Jason's friends from fourth grade were already eating. Two of the boys started snickering and turning red in the face.
Jason said, "Come on guys, don't make fun of him," But then Jillian snapped the "Sesame Street" bib around my neck and plunked my Gerber sippy-cup down on the table. All the boys collapsed in giggles.
One boy with a real short crew-cut snorted, "Where's his high-chair?"
"We left it at home," Jillian replied matter-of-factly. In fact, this was my first
meal sitting at a regular table in more than a week.
"Jason says they even put you back in diapers." said the boy.
"You bet we did," said Jillian, "and we need to keep checking him to see if he's still dry." She reached up my shorts to feel my plastic pants. The boys leaned down under the picnic table to watch. They got a pretty good view of the process because the stupid sailor suit was cut so short that my diapers stuck out the legs when I was sitting. Now I was the one turning red.
"Do you mean, he does in his diapers, for real?"
"All the time…wouldn't you, if you were wearing diapers?"
"Yeah," the crew-cut boy laughed, "I'd pee in them and poop in them."
"Well, that's just what Jamie does, don't you, Jamie?"
I said nothing, but turned a lovely shade of hot pink.
Josh said, "Mom says I wore pampers until I was six, and Tim was still
wearing them at night in third grade."
"You've got a freaky family," said the crew-cut kid. "Come on, let's get some ice cream!"
Uncle Charlie had started scooping out ice cream cones. Jason and Josh and their friends all grabbed some and started playing tag out on the lawn. Jillian and I finished our lunch, and then went for some ice cream too.
Charlie gave us the big hello. "Hey, Jamie, I see you got your bib on – all ready for an ice cream cone."
"I told him he'd better keep it on. Mom will kill me if he wrecks his sailor suit."
"We wouldn't want that to happen. Jamie, you're the hit of the party. You really deserve some ice cream for wearing that cute suit. Vanilla or chocolate?"
I asked for chocolate and Charlie gave me three big scoops. Just then the crew-cut kid came running up from behind and bumped into me real hard. I fell backward, and the ice cream cone landed in a heap in my lap.
"I saw that," said Charlie, "that was totally unfair. Jamie was just standing there and you plowed right into him."
"I'm sorry," the kid grinned, "We were playing tag, I didn't see him."
"That's no excuse. Now look what you've done. You've ruined his nice outfit."
Then Mom came running over. "Oh Jamie, look at you! You're a mess! Jillian, do you still have his diaper bag? I think I put an extra shirt in there just in case." She undid the bib from around my neck. "Not a spot on your bib, of course. You had to drop it all right down your front."
"Now, Alice, it wasn't his fault. This young ruffian tackled him from behind."
Crew-cut boy smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bennett. I should have watched where I was going."
"Well it's too late now. We're just going to have to take this off, " said Mom.
Before I realized what was happening, Mom had unsnapped the crotch of the romper and pulled it up over my head. And there I was, standing in the middle of the party wearing nothing but those sissy red sandals, puffy plastic pants, and…a very wet diaper.
"Jillian, hand me that shirt from his bag. Look, he's soaked too. You better go change him." Mom pulled a very babyish yellow t-shirt down over my head and started fussing with the shoulder snaps.
Jillian said, "But I just checked his pants and he was dry. When did that happen, Jamie?"
"I don't know," I almost sobbed. It was true. I'd gotten so used to just letting go whenever, I had stopped noticing.
Crew-cut boy giggled nervously, "When you gotta go, you gotta go…"
Charlie snapped at him, "That's enough out of you, young man. Look at the trouble you've caused already. Now, Alice, I'm sure Jamie could borrow some shorts from Jason or Tim."
"Why bother? He can just run around like this, now that you've taken the formal pictures."
"Mom!" I wailed.
"You're the one who thinks it's fun to wear diapers, remember? And it's not as if it's a big secret. Besides it's a hot day. You'll be much more comfortable the way you are. Jillian, do you mind?" She handed my sister the Winnie-the-Pooh bag. Hearing my protests, some of the guests on the deck turned to stare at the diapered fifteen year old boy. I could feel my eyes welling up, and I tried hard not to cry. After all I didn't want everyone to think I was…a baby. But the dam burst. Hot tears started running down my cheeks. Jillian grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the sliding door. I didn't know if I was more ashamed of having them all see me in diapers or see me in tears. All I knew was that my sobs kept coming while everyone stared at me, being lead away weeping, like the toddler I was dressed as.
Jillian dragged me into Lulu's guest room, and spread the big changing pad out on the bed. After cleaning the tears off my face with a babywipe, she pulled my plastic pants down to my ankles and unpinned my damp diapers. Very slowly and calmly, she wiped clean my diaper area, and then, using lots of powder, she dusted my crotch, the plastic pants and a fresh, double diaper. Somehow she was very gentle about the whole thing, and I got the urge to suck my thumb again, the way I had with Julie the night before. I remembered that Julie was coming over to stay with me later, and I started feeling a little happier. After Jillian slipped the waterproof pants back up over my clean new diaper, she handed me my sippy-cup of juice. I took my thumb out of my mouth, smiled back and said "Thanks."
"Now do you want to take a little nap right now or come back outside? I'll make sure that no one teases you too much."
I decided I would take some time out, but I wasn't really tired, just upset and shy. So after about half an hour I ventured back outside. The party was in full swing and everyone had gotten a lot more relaxed. The grownups were all laughing and hollering, and the kids were running around.
"There you are, honey," Lulu came toward me. "Are you feeling better? You could still borrow some shorts from the boys. It's no big deal. I'll straighten things out with your mom."
"It's okay, Aunt Lulu, it doesn't matter anymore. I'll be fine. I was just sort of surprised."
"I don't blame you, sweetie. Here, let me get you a little more juice."
I'd forgotten I was still clutching my sippy-cup. She took it over to the bar and filled it up with cranberry juice. She gave it back to me with a hug, and took me by the hand over to the porch swing. "You know, Charlie came down pretty hard on your folks for making a spectacle of you. We just want everyone to have a great time at our party, and no matter what you did, I think they might have gone a little too far. But you know your mom, once she gets an idea in her head. You're like her yourself, you know." Aunt Sally smiled at me," I remember you putting up a real battle about the potty. And then you were constantly snitching Josh's pampers. You were always fighting to stay in diapers, and now look - you got your way."
"I just felt embarrassed with all these people…"
"You embarrassed? Look at me shoehorned into this old dress. Why, stark naked you're still the cutest guy here. You just provided a little extra entertainment. It's a party, Jamie…anything goes!" Right then Jason came running up with a super-soaker and an evil grin.
Lulu jumped up and yelled, "Don't you dare! This dress is older than you are." She pushed me in front of her. "Get him instead of me! He's probably wet already!"
I raced off to the other side of the yard, and got caught up in a big game of water tag that Jason and Josh were playing. Eventually I got my hands on the super-soaker myself and took some fairly extreme revenge on crew-cut boy. And by that time I wasn't the only one running around just in my diapers. Mrs. Lawson had stripped Brad down to his plastic pants too, and there was a pair of little toddler girls in Huggies pull-ups who were splashing around in a wading pool. Uncle Charlie made all four of us line up for a photo.
"It's time to go now, Jamie," Sally called out.
"Just a minute," Charlie called back, "I've got to get a shot of the baby parade."
"Where are your sandals, Jamie? Come on, Julie will be there to babysit you at five!"
"You got a babysitter?" Crew-cut laughed at me. I nailed him again with the super-soaker.
"Jealous, aren't you?"
So I was worn out, but pretty happy after all, when we headed back home. Julie was already there waiting for us. Mom and Dad went upstairs to change, while Sally and Jillian filled Julie in on my evening schedule - "Not too much TV, and he has to be in the playpen to watch", "in his crib by nine o'clock", "just one or two bottles of milk, not juice, and you don't have to warm it."
Once they had left, Julie and I ordered a pizza. She gave me the money to pay the delivery guy, who pretended that there was nothing odd about seeing a teenager come to the door wearing diapers and plastic pants. Julie let me skip the highchair, and we ate dinner in the den with the TV. She did make me wear a bib and sit in the playpen, but I didn't mind. We were watching the tube, when Julie's cell phone rang.
"Hi, Steve….No, I'm babysitting…at the Bennett's….Yes, he is….No, you can't come over…No…Absolutely not….I don't care, he's a nice boy…a lot nicer than you…Get lost, Steve." She hung up. "What a jerk." I kept sucking on my bottle, but I gave her a sympathetic look. She ruffled my hair, "Don't worry, cutie, who cares about stupid old Steve?"
It was almost nine when Julie announced, "Bath time, big boy!"
It was almost one when Mom and Dad and my sisters finally came home to find Julie reading a magazine in the den and me tucked in my crib with a full bottle, a fresh diaper, and my nice furry rabbit. I could hear them chatting with Julie and going on and on about the fun that they had dancing. But I didn't care. We'd had our own fun. I might have been sleeping like a baby, but I had just become a man.
The next morning we all got off to a late start, which was fine by me. It was nearly eleven by the time I was in my highchair, tucking into some waffles. Jillian and Sally were both pretty hung over, and neither one of them was too excited at the prospect of changing me out of stinky morning diapers.
"Hey, isn't this the day that you're going to go to Jeff's?", said Sally.
"Yeah, Dad said he'd drive me over after breakfast."
"Well then, you can just go upstairs and take care of yourself for once. Throw your diaper in the pail and take a shower. Unless you want your friend to know what a little potty pants you've become."
"I'm going to need some regular underpants. Mom took them all away."
Jillian said, "She took a ton of your stuff to Goodwill. She probably threw away your old shorts. They were all pretty gross. She said she'd buy you new stuff for school."
"Wait, I think I saw some undies in the cleaning closet with the rags." Sally came back with a ratty pair of jockeys and my old pjs as well. "Look, here's everything you need for your sleepover."
"Can I have one of my regular shirts back too? and maybe some jeans?"
"I think those are all gone too. But you've got plenty of stuff in your closet."
I had to rummage around to find anything to wear that wasn't totally infantile. Mom and her seamstress friend Rita had had a field day remodeling my wardrobe. I had at least half a dozen new shortalls and playsuits, and they had stuck Winnie-the-Pooh and Sesame Street patches on all my remaining shorts and t-shirts. I ended up having to settle for a yellow polo shirt with a fairly innocuous Disney applique and a pair of light blue gym shorts. I knew I looked kind of dorky, but I hoped Jeff wouldn't care.
It felt weird being allowed to dress myself, and it felt really weird to be wearing normal underpants again. It was like having nothing on. I felt light and giddy, and kind of unprotected as I came down the stairs with the breeze blowing up my baggy shorts and through the thin cotton of my fruit-of-the-looms.
"Ready to roll, son?" said Dad, "Ready to play with the big boys?"
On the way over I discovered that Sally had thoughtfully packed my stuffed rabbit and a pacifier in the overnight bag with my pajamas. Fucking sisters…I left the baby items in the back seat when we got to Jeff's. He was waiting for me outside, kicking around a soccer ball. He gave me a big smile.
"Cute shirt, James, I didn't know you'd joined the Mickey Mouse Club."
But it was great seeing Jeff. I borrowed one of his bathing suits, and we hiked down to the lake to go swimming. His mom had made us some sandwiches, so we had a kind of picnic.
While we were walking back from the lake, Jeff asked me, "So what's this story about your family making you wear baby clothes? Your sisters' friends Mike and Steve were at the movies last night, and they told me they saw you going around, like, in diapers and stuff."
I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. So even Jeff knew. Well, why should I be surprised? I had been put on public display dressed as an infant and dragged all over town. Everyone knew. I struggled not to cry.
"I guess it's no secret. It's like a consequence thing that Mom and Dad decided to do…"
"Consequence for what?"
So I had to tell him the whole story, about babysitting Brad, and getting caught, and them starting me with the diaper service. But I didn't tell him about Julie and me getting it off. I didn't even believe that myself yet.
After he had listened to the whole saga, Jeff said, "Man, that's pretty harsh. How can you stand it?"
I had to admit that there was a part of me that was into the whole baby trip – what Lulu was talking to me about at the party. I was so ashamed, and I felt the tears starting again.
"Come on, dude, don't cry…everyone's different. But you got to stand up for yourself. You can't just let them treat you like a two year old."
"They said they might let me start going back to normal next week. And worst case, it's only until school starts again."
"Watch out, they'll figure out a way to keep you down even then. I mean, you got to tell your folks you won't put up with it anymore, or they'll just do anything they want with you."
"I was able get Mom to let me leave the baby crap at home so I could come visit you. It's a start. And she said she was starting to get sick of all the extra work."
"Extra work? Like what?"
I told him all about the babysitting and diaper changes, and redecorating my room, and all the new clothes.
"Sounds to me like you're having a regular vacation. When we punished the kids at camp, we gave them extra chores. And as long as you're actually into pooping your pants, you haven't got such a bad deal." Jeff gave me a pat on the back, and I dried my eyes on my sleeve. I felt incredibly embarrassed telling him all this stuff, but he seemed pretty cool about it.
We got back to Jeff's house and had milkshakes and watched a movie on TV. After a big supper of chili and corn bread we watched another movie. Around ten o'clock Jeff's mom came in to tell us to get to bed because Jeff had an early appointment for a physical the next day. I was sprawled next to the sofa, clutching one of the pillows, feeling kind of sleepy and happy. Jeff's mom gave me a quizzical smile, and I realized that my thumb had made its way into my mouth. At home I always had a pacifier or a bottle when we were watching TV. I guess I had just gotten used to sucking on something.
I found out the next morning that sucking my thumb wasn't the only babyish thing I had gotten used to lately. When I woke up in Jeff's spare bed I felt all cold and…wet. I couldn't believe it. I had peed in the night. I had peed a lot. The mattress and my pajamas were soaked. What was I going to say?
"I had a little accident," I told Jeff's mom, "I'm really sorry. I'm afraid I wet your bed."
"Yeah, Jamie's been doing some aggressive regressing this summer," Jeff laughed.
"Apparently so," said his mom.
She asked me to strip the bed and bring the sheets down to the laundry, but she was really nice about it. Then we had breakfast, and my mom showed up.
"Hi, Alice, stay and have a cup of coffee. I still have a few minutes before I have to take Jeff to the doctor. Can you believe that we're still dragging these great big young men to the pediatrician?"
"Oh, I can believe it. But, I'm on the run this morning too. I've got some new clients who want to go house-hunting. Jamie, I don't have time to take you home. I'm afraid you'll just have to tag along."
As we were walking out the door, Jeff's mother handed me a plastic bag, "I put your wet pjs in here. I would have run them through the wash, but since you're in a rush…"
Mom gave me a raised-eyebrow look. Jeff and his mother waved goodbye, and I got into the back of the minivan. I knew the drill from other times I'd had to go on real estate showings with Mom – sit in the very back seat and pretend to be invisible. We didn't talk much as she whizzed across town to pick up Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz.
I jumped out of the van to open the door for them. Mom introduced me, "This is my son, Jamie. I hope you don't mind him coming along, but I just picked him up at his friend's house and there wasn't time to run him back home."
"Oh, that's fine," Mrs. Schwartz smiled as she got in the middle seat of the van. "And you must have a little one at home too. Whose are these cute things?" She held up my rabbit and the pacifier I had left on the seat when Dad dropped me off at Jeff's.
"Oh, those are Jamie's. You can give them to him."
"Really?" said Mrs. Schwartz, looking at me oddly, as she handed me my stuff.
I just smiled politely and said, "Thanks."
We drove around and around for about two hours, stopping every now and then for Mom to show the Schwartzes around. We must have seen five or six places, and I was feeling extremely bored. I even started surreptitiously sucking on the pacifier, but only when I was sure the Schwartzes wouldn't notice. Then, just as the they were all emerging from another house, I felt my stomach cramp up. Lately I'd been having my BMs in the morning right around breakfast time – and right before getting changed out of my double thick nighttime diapers. But I hadn't thought about going to the toilet before leaving Jeff's house, since, frankly, I'd gotten so used to just doing it in my diaper.
As Mom got into the car, I whispered to her. "Mom, I've really got to go."
"Well, you're going to have to wait right now."
The Schwartzes got back in the car, and Mom turned her attention to them. "I'm sorry about that last house, but I think you'll really like the place we're going to see next." We got on the highway and started driving out into the country.
Mrs. Schwartz turned around to speak to me, "So, Jamie, what have you been up to this summer?"
"Oh, nothing much, staying at home."
"Jamie's been spending a lot of time playing with his friend Brad, who lives right next door," Mom said brightly."
"Do you mean little Brad Lawson? I know the Lawsons' from work," said Mrs. Schwartz, "but isn't Brad a little young for you? He can't be four yet, and you must be at least thirteen or fourteen."
"Oh, you'd be surprised how much the boys have in common," Mom laughed, "Now, I know that this next listing is outside your price range, but it's been on the market for a while and I think that a low offer might take it." We kept speeding down the highway. Exits flashed by. I was feeling really uncomfortable.
"Mom, excuse me…"
"Not now, Honey, it'll just be a minute. The sellers were experiencing a little problem with their septic, but that is now totally resolved…"
Meanwhile I was experiencing a major problem with my septic. Something about the chili dinner at Jeff's…I thought maybe if I just let out a little gas…I let go a little, and a small, silent fart slipped out, then another, and then…I couldn't stop…I was pooping my underpants right there in the back seat of the car! The smell was not good, and Mrs. Schwartz discreetly rolled down her window, all the while chatting with her husband and my mom up in the front. I could feel the familiar sensation of sticky poo spreading across my behind. What was happening to me? After more than a week in diapers, was I actually losing control? I had kind of stopped noticing when I had to pee or poop. In fact I must have been asleep when I wet Jeff's bed, and now I had this horrible mess in my pants to deal with. Shit.
We finally got off the highway, and after another mile or two we got to the house with the for sale sign out front. As the Schwartzes got out, Mom turned to me and hissed, "I'll ask if you can use the bathroom here."
"I don't actually need to go anymore. I'll just stay in the car," I muttered.
"Are you sure? Because I'm not making any more stops."
I marinated in the backseat for a very uncomfortable half hour. Then we dropped the Schwartzes back at the office, where Mom had to stay and do some paper work. It was nearly one o'clock before we got home and I could finally get out of the car.
I was a total mess. The stinky brown stain had soaked through my gym shorts, and my ass was burning. As I waddled gingerly to the breezeway, Mom realized what had happened.
"UNBELIEVABLE! I stopped and I asked you if you needed to go! Ohmigod! Look at you!"
"I'm sorry, Mom," I started crying, "It was already too late when you asked."
"Already too late? You mean you couldn't even hold it in for fifteen minutes! That is ridiculous! I just hope the back seat isn't totally ruined. And apparently you wet your pajamas at Jeff's too! All I can say is that you're sending the message out loud and clear."
"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't mean to …"
"Exactly…You 'didn't mean to'. Well, I was thinking about letting you go back to regular underwear after this weekend, but you've just shown me that you not only WANT to wear diapers, but that you obviously NEED them as well."
"But Mom, I told you I had to go!"
"Right, you gave me less than five minutes notice smack in the middle of an important showing! I'm sorry, but even your little friend Brad does better than that. This is the last straw. Get in the house right away and get cleaned up! And stop those pathetic tears…"
I dragged my sorry butt upstairs and took a shower. Then Mom sent Sally up to put me back in diapers for the afternoon. When we came back down, Mom was talking on the phone. As Sally put me in my highchair and snapped on my bib, I heard Mom say, "All right, we're all set. Thanks for being so accommodating. I'll have the disposables and a copy of his shots tomorrow. Is there anything else? Oh, of course, a complete change is always be a smart idea. Okay, so Sally will pick them both up at two o'clock. Thank you so much. See you tomorrow!"
Sally put a bowl of toddler alphabet soup down on the tray of my highchair, and fixed herself a tuna sandwich. Mom dialed another number.
"Hi, this is Alice Bennett. Yes, that's right, Jamie's mom. You remember I asked Friday about canceling our order? Well, forget about that. And another thing, Pete showed me some of your new disposables. I'd like to order those for Jamie also. Yes, I think it's 28 or maybe 30. Medium sounds right. Four packages should be enough. Oh, could you? That would be perfect."
Mom hung up the phone and picked a little at the other half of Sally's sandwich. She didn't seem mad any more.
"Sally, I thought you had to go pick up Brad."
"No, Mom, Julie's taking care of him today. We're taking turns. She can babysit the boys Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That way I can start doing the afternoon shift they want at McDonald's."
"Well, as long as you can take care of them tomorrow…I've got two showings this afternoon, so I'm going to run. Have a nice afternoon." Mom raced off.
Sally let me watch the cartoon channel instead of taking a proper nap. So there I was comfortably settled in the playpen sucking on a bottle of juice, when she opened the front door for Pete, the guy from Tidee-Didee.
"Hang on, I'll run upstairs and get his diaper pail. You can put the clean stuff down right here." Sally disappeared up the stairs.
Pete stood by the stairs for a minute, clutching a bundle of fresh cloth diapers for me, as well as a couple of plastic bags of disposables. He stared at me curled up in the playpen. Then he put down his packages, and walked over.
"Well, Jamie, you've got the life, hanging around watching Rugrats all afternoon."
"Yeah," I mumbled, keeping the bottle in my mouth. I felt kind of shy about talking to him.
"So your mom ordered you some disposables…going to try out something new. You'll like them.
"So your mom ordered you some disposables…going to try out something new. You'll like them. They're real nice."
I glared at him, "What do you know about it?" He just smiled back at me. For the first time I thought I noticed something a little bulgy about the shorts of Pete's Tidee-Didee uniform.
Just then Sally came down with my diaper pail, so Pete hauled it out to the van, and drove off. After she'd stacked my new diapers upstairs, Sally decided nap time was over and that we should do something fun. Amazingly enough, she suggested going to the Aquarium. It was the first time I had been there since I was a kid, I mean, a little kid, I mean, really a little kid…you know what I mean. She dressed me in my railroad striped OshKosh shortalls, and brought along the stroller too, which was cool because she got me in at the stroller admission price again. We actually had a really great time. Sally pushed me in the stroller all the way down the long winding ramp around the big tank. The place was pretty empty on a Monday afternoon, so there weren't too many people staring at the teenage toddler. I relaxed and just had a happy time looking at the fish. It was already supper time when we got back home.
Dad glared at me as he snapped in my highchair tray, "Well, Jamie, I understand that your underpants experiment was a little premature."
"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to make a mess of the car."
"The car will be okay," said Mom. "But since you wet the bed at Jeff's too, it's obvious we're going to have to start from scratch and literally re-train you before we can trust you without diapers again. Janet and I decided we'll set aside the last two weeks of August to try to get both you and Brad toilet-trained before school starts. Of course, he's going into pre-school and you're going to high school. But neither one takes students in diapers."
Dad said, "Actually, Alice, I don't think the high school specifically rules it out, so if Jamie doesn't pull himself together, I suppose it is possible that we could figure out some kind of system. He could get changed in the nurse's office or in the locker room or something."
I felt kind of dizzy. They weren't thinking about sending me back to school still in diapers?
"We'll see, " Mom continued, "that's partly why I ordered those disposables from Tidee-Didee. They'll come in handy away from home. And of course, you'll be needing them tomorrow."
I wasn't even listening. I was still reeling at the idea of changing diapers in the locker room. I had had hopes of being on the JV soccer team in the fall. That wasn't going to happen if I had to wear Pampers under my Umbros.
The next morning Jillian woke me up early. "Come on, Jamie, I've got to get to work. And we've got to get you ready. You're going with Mom."
After a quick session in my highchair with a bowl of Wheetena and a bottle of orange juice, Jillian hustled me upstairs and into one of my new disposable diapers. It was a funny feeling. Kind of scratchy and papery compared to the cushy cotton ones I had gotten used too. The plastic backing made a terrific rustling noise whenever I moved, even under the airplane print shortalls that Jillian put on me. Meanwhile, Mom was stuffing a bunch of things in my Winnie-the-Pooh bag – more disposables, a bib, a bottle, an extra playsuit. Jillian rushed off to work, and I got in the back of Mom's minivan, ready for another boring day of house showings. I did sort of wonder how Mom was going to explain her obviously diapered fifteen year old son to her clients. But I guess she had a plan.
We drove for about ten minutes and pulled up in front of the daycare place where Sally always took me to pick up Brad. The Lawsons' car was parked out front. I figured Mom had something she needed to say to Janet.
"Come on," said Mom, grabbing my diaper bag. She took me by the hand and led me in the door to KiddieKare. I liked the KiddieKare place. It was clean and cheerful with lots of bright colored toys all around. There were a couple of toddlers there already, and through the open back door I could see Brad out on the swing set. And I really liked Danielle too, the woman who ran the place. She was right there at the door with a big smile.
"Great to see you! Don't you look cute, Jamie. All ready for a big day!"
Mom handed Danielle a folder of papers and said, "I got him the disposables, so we'll see how those work. They're in his diaper bag, along with everything else he might need." I still didn't understand. Was she planning on leaving me here?
Janet walked over, "Oh, isn't this nice. I just dropped off Brad. Tomorrow I could bring the boys in together, if you like."
Danielle said, "Let me just take a sec to check his paperwork. They make me jump through so many hoops. That's good you've got the medical sheet. I just need to fill in his age."
"He's fifteen, but he'll be sixteen on July 30."
"Why that's right around the corner! What a big boy! We'll have to do something special for his birthday.. .It's good we're properly licensed for big kids. It even says so on the sign out front, though the oldest child we ever had before was ten, But I know Jamie will do just great!" Danielle put her arm around me and gave me a squeeze.
"You're going to leave me here?" I asked.
Mom said, "That's right, Jamie. Come on, Janet. Time to say "Bye-bye", honey. Have fun." She gave me kiss on the cheek.
"I'm staying here?"
"Yes, you are, Jamie. Sally will pick you and Brad up at one o'clock. Now, you be a good boy for Danielle. See you later!"
"But Mom, this place is for three year olds! I can't stay here! I thought I was coming with you."
"After your little performance in the car yesterday? You heard Danielle. She can take fifteen year olds here, even sixteen year olds. I just hope that you become a little more mature before your seventeenth birthday rolls around."
"But Mom!" I could feel the angry tears building up all over again.
"It's just for a few hours so I can go to work, for God's sake. We can't babysit you round the clock."
"But I don't want a babysitter!" I sobbed.
Danielle interrupted, "Alice, you'd better just go. Don't worry. He'll be fine."
Mom and Janet walked out, smiling and shaking their heads.
Danielle took my hand. "Now, Jamie, don't cry. I'm surprised at you…such a big boy. You'll see Mommy again at the end of the day. Come on, let me show you your cubby."
I sniffled as Danielle took a baby wipe to my tearful face. I couldn't believe she thought I was upset because Mom had left. I didn't miss Mom! I was just pissed about being dumped at fucking KiddieKare! But how could I say that to Danielle? I knew one thing though - I was going to have to stop crying when I got mad.
"This will be your own cubby, Jamie, and we'll keep all your things here. Now let's get you some juice. I see your mom packed you a bottle already, but I can give you a sippy cup if you prefer."
"I don't give a shit… " I mumbled.
Danielle gave me a really severe look. "Maybe you need a little time out." She handed me my bottle and took me over to the corner by the front window. "You just sit here until you feel like joining in."
I looked out to see if Mom's car was still there. She was gone. I thought about just walking out the front door, but Danielle had a buzzer lock on it, and anyway I wasn't thrilled about the idea of hiking the three miles back to our house dressed in OshKosh shortalls printed with little red and blue airplanes. I huddled on the beanbag couch next to a shelf full of picture books and stared out the window. It was a beautiful day – there were shiny cars zipping by on the highway, or turning into the little plaza in front of the building, there were people coming out of the drugstore, or walking into the laundromat, and then there was me, stuck in baby daycare, sucking on a bottle of apple juice. I could feel my disposable growing warm and wet between my legs. Maybe I belonged here after all.
One of the other kids, a little girl about four, came up to me. "Danielle says it's time for circle." So I got up and followed her over to the middle of the room, where Danielle and Brad and five or six other little kids were all sitting in a group. They were all very quiet, and I felt pretty self-conscious about the crinkly sounds my damp pampers made as I sat down on the floor with them.
"Kids, I want you to meet our new friend, Jamie. Jamie, this is Sam, and Luke, and Kaitlyn, and Dylan, and Jennie, and you know Brad already, don't you?" The kids were anywhere from two to five. I noticed that the two girls weren't wearing any diapers, but I was pretty sure that all the boys were.
"Jamie's my bestest friend," piped Brad with a big happy grin.
Danielle made us sing along with a couple of Mr. Rogers songs about "friends" that she had on tape. Then she shooed us all out of doors to play in the fenced playground out back. Brad showed me the sandbox, and we started playing one of the endless construction site games we had been doing all summer. After about an hour I felt like I had to go. I thought about asking Danielle if I could use the toilet, but then I thought, "what the hell, she can just deal with it.." So I just stopped pushing the little dump truck I was playing with and took my own dump. I quickly found out that my new disposable diapers were a lot less absorbent than the cloth ones I was used to. By the time Danielle called us all in for snack, I was a wet, sandy, crappy mess.
Danielle's curly-haired young assistant, Toni, had showed up by then, and she handed out graham crackers and refills on juice. I noticed that I was the only one drinking from a baby bottle. The other kids all had sippy-cups. The two girls noticed too, and they started whispering and giggling to each other. Toni was just passing by me when she wrinkled up her nose, and called, "Who's stinky?"
The four boys all chorused, "Not me! not me!", while the girls giggled even louder. Then one of them burst out laughing, "It's Jamie."
Toni opened her eyes wide with surprise, "Why, Jamie, do you need to go potty?"
Blushing, I shook my head. Danielle bustled over. "Oh, it looks like Jamie needs a change. Come on, Jamie." Briskly, she took me into the back. "Dearie me, you're a little overdue for fresh pampers," she muttered, unsnapping my shortalls and making me lie down on one of the nap-time mats. With amazing speed she ripped off my soiled diaper, wiped me clean, rubbed me down with baby lotion, powdered me, and taped on a new disposable.
"I'm afraid your pants are really too dirty and wet to put back on, honey. Let's see if Mommy packed you a spare outfit." Danielle fished around in my diaper bag and pulled out a particularly idiotic looking blue and yellow romper – like a polo shirt, but longer, with crotch snaps to make it into shorts at the bottom. To top it off Mom's friend Rita had sewn Sesame Street patches of Ernie, Bert and Cookie Monster across the front.
"This one is super cute," Danielle chuckled. She peeled my t-shirt off and slid the silly romper down over my head. Expertly she snapped the crotch over my rustling plastic diapers. With a crinkly pat on my diapered tush, Danielle directed me back to the group of toddlers. Toni was still looking kind of stunned, but she smiled and relaxed a bit as Danielle and she discussed my "adorable" outfit.
Snack time was over, so we all went out back to play some more. I started kind of enjoying the feel of my new romper. It was a hot day, and it felt cool to be wearing nothing but a big loose shirt. The romper covered up a lot less diaper than my OshKosh shortalls did. Mom had made the legs so short and baggy that my pampers kind of hung out. Now I was dressed way more babyishly than Brad and the other kids, but they didn't seem to care, or at least the boys didn't. And the girls didn't want to play with me anyway. Brad and me and two of the other boys made up a really silly tag game, and then Danielle brought some grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch and some more juice out to the picnic table. She didn't even make me wear a bib.
Brad and Dylan and I were having fun playing on the swing set when Sally showed up. She and Danielle walked out into the play area. I couldn't believe it was already one o'clock.
"Brad, Jamie, come on guys, it's time to go home."
Danielle said, "He's had a great morning. A few tears when Mommy left, but otherwise we've had a lot of fun."
"Come on, Jamie. Time to stop."
"All right, don't rush me", I was sick of being pushed around.
Danielle ruffled my hair. "Don't worry, Jamie, you'll be right back tomorrow. Here, you'll have to bring him another spare outfit." She handed Sally a plastic bag with my dirty overalls in it.
Sally took Brad and me back to our house. I felt tired enough from running around outside that I was looking forward to a nap in my crib. After naptime Sally changed us both out of our wet disposables into nice dry cloth diapers, and gave us a snack. Then Janet came by to pick up Brad.
"How was daycare, Jamie? Did you have fun?" Janet asked. "You looked a little weepy when your mom dropped you off."
I blushed, "It was okay. Danielle was nice."
"Isn't she great? I knew you'd fit right in. Wow, is that a cute romper! Brad won't wear the cute stuff anymore. It's too bad. Well, bye-bye! See you tomorrow."
While I was stuck in my highchair having dinner, Mom and Dad and my sisters asked me all kinds of questions about my first big day at KiddieKare.
"Did you like the other kids? Was there enough to do? How was lunch? Did the disposables work out?" Mom in particular seemed real happy about the whole ridiculous thing.
The next day started out easier. Jillian got me ready. She made me wear the dumb blue and yellow romper again, since it was still pretty clean. Janet came by with Brad to pick me up. Actually the whole morning was a lot of fun. Toni organized an art project. We wore plastic coverall bibs and made finger paintings. Everyone was very impressed by mine.
This time I went to Danielle and told her my diaper was wet before it got too leaky . She praised me a lot for this, and after she got me fixed up, I went outside and played in the sandbox some more with Brad.
It was another perfect summer day. We were building an eight lane superhighway with a big cloverleaf intersection and getting all sandy when I heard someone yell out my name."
"Hey, Jamie, over here!" It was Mike and Steve. Jillian's friends from school. They were sitting in Steve's jeep. I thought about just ignoring them, but instead I went over to the playground fence.
"Wow! they seriously put you in daycare! That's pretty extreme!" laughed Mike, "Jillian was talking about it, but we had to come by to see if it was true. Havin' fun with your little friends, Jamie?"
"It's okay," I said.
"Looks like the life to me, you got the see-saw, the swing set, all the fun."
"Yeah, and I think I'll just go back to it." I turned to walk back to the sandbox.
"Man, I can hear those diapers rustling big-time," yelled Mike, "Is the baby poopy? Does it need to be changed?"
Then I got angry, and I could feel the tears coming. "Why don't you just go away and leave me alone!"
Mike got down from the jeep and came up to the fence, "Hey, don't start crying, Jamie, we only wanted to say hello." Steve joined him.
"Okay," I sniffed, "Hello."
"So…you wearing Huggies or Pampers?" asked Steve.
"I don't know. They come from the service."
"What do you mean? You get diaper service?"
"Yeah, Tidee-Didee. They deliver every week." Why was I telling him this? Steve's questions were kind of personal.
"So those girls change your diapers like, how many times a day?"
I really didn't want to talk about it anymore, but I muttered, "I don't know, maybe once in the morning, twice in the afternoon. Mom says it's a lot of work, I guess that's why she put me in KiddieKare."
"Are you stuck here all day?" asked Mike, "I mean, we're heading over to Riverside again. You could come with us, if you want. Though we don't want to get charged with kidnapping or anything."
"Well, Julie's coming to pick me up at one o'clock."
Now it was Steve's turn to get angry. He kicked the fence post really hard. "Fuck that! That's why she wouldn't come out with us! She's babysitting this little freak. I'm starting to think she wants to hang out with Diaper Boy more than with me. Well, FUCK IT!"
"Hey, Steve, don't start yelling," said Mike.
"I don't give a shit! My girlfriend is spending her summer changing pampers on some Junior High pretty boy, and I think it's FUCKED UP!"
That did it, Danielle heard the hollering and came running out to the fence. "Boys! You leave my kids alone! I can call the police on you for loitering within a hundred yards of this fence, and I'll do right now if you don't clear out fast!"
"Yes, Ma'am!", said Mike.
Danielle was impressive when she got pissed off. She hustled me and Brad back inside, where everyone else was sitting down to lunch. It was spaghetti-ohs, so this time she did put bibs on both me and Brad. The little girls thought this was hysterically infantile, and they both collapsed in giggles. But I didn't care any more. I'd just as soon not get chewed out for dribbling tomato sauce down my front. Of course, it would have been better if my bib didn't have "Spit happens" written on it in little blue baby block letters …
After lunch we all went outside again. Things were pretty peaceful until Julie showed up to collect Brad and me. Suddenly, Steve reappeared in an ugly mood. I guess he must have been waiting for her out front, because later she told me he tried to follow her in the front door. When she slammed the door shut in his face, locking him out, he circled round the building to the playground, where Brad and I were still hanging out in the sandbox near the fence.
This time Steve started yelling right away. "Hey, Diaper Boy, your babysitter's here for you! I bet you've got a nice shitty diaper for her to change! Or maybe it's not just your diaper that's full of shit? Maybe it's your whole fuckin' BABY act?" He was really acting crazy. Some of the other little kids ran inside. And I tried hard not to pay him any attention, even though I could feel the hot angry tears coming back in my eyes. I just kept working on the hole I was digging with Brad. But Steve kept yelling at me. For a moment I thought he was going to jump over the fence.
Then Julie came out. "Steve, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm just telling Pamper Boy what I think of him fuckin' stealing my girlfriend."
"Are you crazy? I'm doing a job here. I'm being paid to babysit for Jamie and Brad this afternoon. And both of them are much nicer boys than you are. Get lost, Steve. We're through. I wouldn't spend another minute with you if I were paid a million bucks."
"And if I were a little faggot wearing a shitty pamper I bet you'd fuckin' come running!"
"Don't be vulgar, there are little kids here!"
Suddenly two police cars drove up, lights flashing. Danielle had called the cops. One of the officers jumped up and grabbed Steve from behind. The cop slid some plastic handcuffs over his wrists, and shoved him up against the squad car.
"Hey officer, What are you doing? I was just talking to my girlfriend. Am I hurting anybody?" Steve protested.
"We're asking the questions, buddy."
"But that little faggot is trying to steal my girlfriend!" He pointed at me.
"You mean the kid in the sandbox?," chuckled the younger of the two cops, "That's your competition?…" The policeman glanced over at Brad and me. I realized that the short legs on the outfit I was wearing were kind of riding up and showing a lot of disposable diaper. I stood up and tried to pull the pants down a little. As I fingered nervously with my romper, the policeman kept staring at me.
The other cop turned toward Julie. He gestured toward Steve. "Is this young man a friend of yours, Ma'am?"
"Not any more, officer, " Julie replied.
"Do you work here?"
"No, I'm just here to pick up these two boys. I'm babysitting them this afternoon." The cop looked at me and Brad in the sandbox again and then turned back toward Steve.
"Well, young man, I guess we're going to be babysitting you down at the station, so get in the car." They hustled Steve into the back seat of the squad car."
Danielle came running out. "Oh, thank you for coming so fast. I was getting really nervous. He was trying to bust down the door."
"You called in the complaint, Ma'am?"
"Yes, My name is Danielle Stevens. This is my place. Thank you so much for coming right over."
The older cop pointed his thumb at the sandbox. "Both these boys are in your program?"
"Yes, this is Jamie, and that's Brad. Say hello to the policeman, honey. Don't be scared. He's here to keep us safe."
"Hi," I said.
"And just how old is the bigger kid?," asked the policeman. His eyes were fixed on the flashes of white plastic poking out the legs of my playsuit.
Danielle smiled, and said, "Jamie's the oldest child in our program. He's actually fifteen. Of course, under the state license we can take kids up to sixteen years old, you know. Jamie just started here a few days ago." She looked at the officer meaningfully, and added, "His Mom needs a little extra help with him because…for one thing, he's still in diapers."
The policeman grinned, "I can see that, Ma'am. Well, take good care of him. Now we're going to take this young man down to the station and give him a warning. If we need you to come in, we'll give you a call. Do you think that you'll be pressing charges?"
"Oh no, no. I hope a warning will be enough. I just don't want him coming back."
"I think we can make that clear, Ma'am."
The younger cop smiled indulgently at me, "Goodbye now, kid. Be a good boy. Don't get into too much trouble."
"Bye, officer, thanks." I felt a flood of relief, and another flood, a warm one, between my legs.
Julie picked up Brad, who was waving bye-bye to the policemen, and brought him inside. Danielle took me by the hand and I followed her in. The squishy, wet disposable was pushing my legs apart and I could tell the two policemen thought I was pretty funny as I sort of toddled back toward the daycare center. We watched and waved from the door as the police cars drove off.
"Now that was more excitement than we usually get around here," sighed Danielle. "Thank God they came so fast! Julie, you need to be a little choosier about your boyfriends."
"Steve is definitely an ex-boyfriend now. I'm so sorry that happened. I had no idea he could be so crazy."
Danielle smiled at me fondly, "I think you'd better stick with Jamie. He's a very nice boy, and a whole lot cuter too!" She gave me a reassuring hug. Her hand reached down to the snap-crotch of my romper suit and she squeezed my sagging disposable diaper. "Uh-oh, and wet again!"
"I'll change him when we get home. I think I'd better get them home for naptime."
We said goodbye to Danielle. "See you tomorrow, kids!", she waved after us.
Julie strapped Brad and me into the backseat of Janet's station wagon and drove us back to the Lawson's. She put Brad up in his room for a nap. Then she changed me out of my damp romper and soaking wet disposable right on the living room couch where Mom and Janet had first put me back in diapers for good. Only this time was quite a different experience, as Julie stroked my privates with baby oil until I came in her hand. She powdered me up and pinned me into some good old Tidee-Didees. Then I sucked her off right there on the couch, and came in my diapers all over again.
Julie gave me a big kiss as she pulled a pair of frosty light blue plastic pants up over my nice soft cloth diaper, and I told her I wanted to make out for real…like we had the other night.
"You won't have to wait too long, Jamie. Your mom wants me to babysit you again tomorrow evening."
"Cool is right. Now, baby, let's go wake up Brad, and get you boys a bottle of juice and a snack." I gave Julie a big hug. Having a babysitter was turning out not to be so bad after all.
They say you can get used to anything. And I actually got used to being in daycare pretty quick. The cops threatened Steve with a restraining order and scared him pretty good, so he didn't dare come around after that. My days kind of settled into a routine…drop-off…circle…playtime…a diaper change…lunch…playtime…pick-up…Sometimes it got a little dull, but there was something very relaxing about just being allowed to be a little kid. The other kids' parents raised a few eyebrows when they first encountered the teenage "toddler". But Danielle just maintained that I was "special", and most of the moms seemed to agree that I was pretty cute too.
The first couple of weeks zipped by, then suddenly it was the middle of July and my birthday was coming up on Sunday. Mom said she was planning a special surprise. And Dad said he'd do barbecue, which I love…I'd even invited my friend Jeff over after begging Mom to let me wear my regular clothes. She thought about a minute, but then she said it might be okay. So I was feeling pretty psyched.
Meanwhile, Julie and I were having a ball. She was babysitting me and Brad every afternoon, and babysitting me alone in the evenings at least once or twice a week. We were making out every moment that we could get. Babying me and changing my diapers really seemed to turn her on. And it certainly was working for me.
My sixteenth birthday turned out to be a beautiful, really hot summer day. It was getting warm already when I woke up, with the sun shining right into my eyes through the bars of my crib. As usual, I was pretty wet already, but as I lay on my back and thought about being sixteen, I let my bladder go, and really drenched my thick night diaper. I could feel the pee leaking out the legs and waist of my waterproof pants. My crib mattress had a plastic sheet on it, and Mom didn't seem to care how wet or smelly my crib sheets got. It was my job to wash those and hang them out to dry every few days. The first couple times I was pretty embarrassed about pinning up my Winnie-the-Pooh sheets and my plastic pants on our not very private backyard clothesline, especially while wearing just a t-shirt and my doubled-up daycare disposables. But after a whole month of baby treatment, there really was nothing to be shy about. Everybody in the neighborhood had seen me in diapers. That was what I wore.
I noticed that my nighttime bottle had rolled over between the crib rail and Mr. Rabbit. It was still half full, so I stuck the rubber nipple in my mouth and began lazily sucking while waiting for Jillian or Sally to come let me out for breakfast. Of course I could have climbed out of the crib if I wanted to, but that was kind of a pain, and Mom always got mad when I did. Anyway I felt a BM coming on. Most mornings I'd hold it in until diaper change time. Dirty diapers weren't real popular with Mom or my sisters, so if I asked nicely, they'd let me use the toilet right after breakfast while they were getting me dressed. Today, however, they were just going to have to change my stinky little butt. I arched up in my crib, sucked my bottle a little harder, and concentrated on filling my pants.
"Good morning, birthday boy!" Jillian walked in just as I pushed out the last of my poop. "Eeeew, smells like you've got a birthday surprise for me…well, that's just going to have to wait." She lowered the crib rail, and gave me a hand climbing out. Still sucking on my bottle, and with poopy diapers drooping, I followed her downstairs to the kitchen. Mom and Dad were already there, making waffles. Mom gave me a big birthday hug and snapped the yellow duckie bib round my neck. I could feel the poop squashing all over my butt as Mom locked the tray on my highchair.
"Well, happy birthday, big boy." She handed me a plate of waffles. "I'd kind of expected you to be a bit further along by this time, but I guess we're the only folks on the block lucky enough to have a sixteen-year old toddler."
"I don't know if lucky is the word I would use," muttered Dad. "Sixteen…who would believe it? I thought this summer we'd be dealing with driving lessons and dating…not diaper service and daycare."
"Well, Dad, you could let me get my learner's permit," A syrupy piece of waffle fell out of my mouth as I said this and tumbled down into the pocket of my bib. I'd never been a tidy eater, but since being put back in the highchair, I always had to eat just with my fingers or a dinky toddler spoon, and I generally ended up making a pretty huge mess.
Dad burst out laughing. "I guess you're legally old enough for a permit, but I think there's some mental age requirements too. I don't know what they'd say if you showed up at the Registry wearing diapers."
"Maybe we'll consider it if your toilet training goes well, " said Mom. "Remember, both you and Brad have to be out of diapers before school starts. Janet's pediatrician swears by this new two week intensive method. So on Labor Day weekend we're going to get with the program ."
"Sounds intimidating," Dad chuckled, "What if Jamie doesn't graduate?"
"Then he'll have to wear pull-ups to school," said Jillian, "I know that Goodnites will work for Jamie because Mike told me that he can fit in them."
"You never told me that Mike wears Goodnites!" Sally laughed.
"Not all the time, you idiot! He just said he'd tried them on. Some kind of stupid thing he did on a dare."
"Maybe Jamie's not the only big baby around here," said Sally. "I bet Mike would make a cute baby. I'd love to dress him up in Jamie's clothes sometime.
Jillian started turning red. "Just shut up, Sally. He's my boyfriend…I shouldn't have said anything."
Mom brightly changed the subject. "Speaking of Jamie's clothes, Gran asked for a picture of Jamie in the sailor outfit he wore at Lulu's anniversary. And I need a decent picture to give to Rita too. Lulu is so vain that she claims that all those group pictures from party were terrible, and she won't give me copies. So I've made Jamie an eleven o'clock appointment at Sears. He'll have a proper birthday portrait! Girls, you better get him cleaned up. It's almost ten already."
"Momm! I don't wanna wear that stupid suit again!" I wailed.
"I suppose you don't 'wanna' have a lovely birthday barbecue either. Jillian, hand me the phone. I'll start calling everyone to cancel this afternoon."
"But Mom, that outfit makes me look like a baby!"
Mom untied my bib and unlatched the tray from the highchair. "Oh, it's too babyish? We could just take a photo of you right now in your dirty diapers and give that to Gran. I'm sure that would be just as nice."
"Listen, Rita custom made that little sailor suit for you, and if you think that you're going to get away with wearing it just once, and then not even for the whole afternoon…if you recall…Wait, I have an idea. You can wear the sailor suit to your birthday party, and we can take pictures then, Would you like that better?"
"All right, Mom, I'll go to Sears. I really, really want to wear my regular clothes for the barbecue."
"All right, Jamie. If you put the sailor suit on now, this afternoon you may wear your 'regular clothes'. Meanwhile, let's get you ready."
So after a solid forty-five minutes of messy diaper changing, face washing, and hair brushing, I was all dressed up again in the damn romper suit and the little sailor hat, and Sally was buckling on those sissy red t-strap sandals. Jillian said she would stay behind to help Dad get the barbecue ready. Mom strapped me in the back seat, while Sally loaded my stroller and diaper bag into the car. And off we went to the mall.
Being pushed through the mall in my stroller was actually kind of fun, as long as no one was there. And the place was pretty empty. If I hunkered down in the seat I didn't seem to be very noticeable - people just saw another kid in a stroller - maybe a little big. Usually they didn't look twice.
But when Sally and Mom pushed me up to the Sears portrait counter the young lady there certainly did look twice.
"We're here for his baby pictures," said Mom pointing at me, "I made an eleven o'clock appointment."
"Baby pictures? Of him?" I felt my cheeks turning red.
"That's right," continued Mom, clicking open the lap bar, and undoing the safety straps so I could get out. "It's his birthday and we want to get some nice baby pictures of him for his grandma."
The photo lady's eyes grew even rounder as I stood up. I was taller than she was. I smiled at her and she relaxed a little.
"Well, I guess that would be okay. That's a real cute outfit he's got on. If you want a "baby-style" portrait, it's a great start. How about choosing a background and some props?"
So Mom picked out a couple of giant alphabet blocks and a bright blue backdrop. They made me sit on a little platform covered with a fluffy white rug. After adjusting the alphabet blocks around me, the photo girl started getting into it, making me do different poses, waving a little bear hand puppet in the air to make me smile, and keeping up a stream of gooey chat.
Okay, let's have a nice big cheerful smile for the camera. Say hello to Teddy!" She fussed around with her lights and her tripod, and started snapping pictures. Sally kept jumping in to comb my bangs away from my eyes. Mom gave me my rabbit to hug. I just sat there feeling dumb. I could feel the bottle of juice I'd had at breakfast hitting my bladder….
"Look, you can see digital proofs right here on the screen, and decide which ones you'd like to order."
Mom and Sally cooed with delight, "Oh, this one is perfect! Oh isn't he sweet?"
Then they haggled over how many prints to order. They were even ordering wallet size ones to give to all the relatives…I couldn't believe it.
Finally it seemed like they were done. The photo lady gave me a hand getting up from the rug, and gave a little shriek. "Oops, that's a wet spot! On my white rug! How did that happen!"
Sally reached over to feel my pants. "Oh dear, Jamie's leaking again. These new rubber pants are just huge on him. I hope he didn't ruin your rug!"
Mom glared at me, "You can't keep that outfit clean for two seconds, can you? Good thing I brought along your diaper bag" She turned to the photographer, "I'm really sorry about your rug. Do you mind if we change him right here? I don't want the stroller to get all wet too."
The photo lady looked at my wet pants in disbelief. "I guess that would be okay. I'll just finish processing your order."
Mom handed Sally my Winnie-the-Pooh bag. "We'd better take off his sailor suit," she muttered, "At least now we have some photos of him in it."
Sally undid the damp crotch snaps, slipped the stupid playsuit off over my head, and made me lie right down on the floor - naked except for my saggy, soaked diapers. Then she pulled my plastic pants down to my knees and quickly replaced the wet layers with fresh, fluffy dry ones. She pinned the diapers round my hips, pulled my damp plastic pants back up, and tugged a snap-shoulder t-shirt over my head. Just then the photo lady came back into the studio. Her eyes were still wide with amazement, but now she was grinning too, as if she could barely keep from bursting out laughing.
'"Excuse me, but I forgot to tell you, you get two extra poses with that package of prints. You could come back later, I suppose…"
"No, let's just do them now," Mom said.
Sally was finishing doing up the snaps on the shoulder of my red and yellow striped t-shirt. "I can't find any shorts for him in the bag."
"I didn't put any in," replied Mom, "It doesn't matter, he'll be fine just in his diapers. You don't mind do you?" she asked the photo lady with a smile.
"Oh, no, he looks really cute. I take a lot of pictures of the littler kids dressed just like that. And you did say you wanted a real baby-style picture…Maybe Jamie could be playing with some of these toys. How about that?" She emptied a box of Fisher-Price stuff out on the floor. "Now, smile for Teddy!" The photo lady wiggled her hand puppet again. I made a face. She made the same face right back at me, and this time I couldn't help laughing. The flash clicked. "Now just one more. Who's Mommy's little pumpkin?" I blushed and grinned in acute embarrassment. Flash! Click! "These are going to be just darling!" she exclaimed. You've got to print these! You can enter them in our "America's Baby" Contest. It's nationwide, and they give out tons of prizes. I bet you'd win something!"
At the thought of these photos showing up in a national magazine I cried, "Mommm! I don't want everyone seeing pictures of me like this!"
"Oh, is it 'I don't wanna' again? Sally, where's his binky? That'll give him something to chew on. Yes, I think we'll take prints of both poses. And tell me about the contest…"
Sally stuffed the pacifier in my mouth. I spat it out on the floor.
"Mom, Stop! This is totally embarrassing!"
"Oh don't say that. You look really adorable," said the photo lady soothingly, "It's a great idea for a costume. And I'm still amazed that you actually used the diapers!"
"Oh Jamie goes through tons of diapers," confided Sally. "
This really isn't a costume. A diaper and t-shirt is what he usually wears."
"Oh really?" the photographer marveled. "Those are your regular clothes?"
It was true. I had been wearing just diapers and a t-shirt for most of the summer – at least when I was home. So I nodded, and mumbled, "Yeah these are my regular clothes."
"And remember, Jamie, you said you wanted to wear your "regular clothes" to the barbecue," chuckled Mom with a mischievous look. "Now I guess we know what you'll be wearing at your birthday party."
"Momm! You know what I mean by regular! You know, like my jeans and stuff. The stuff I used to wear."
"Oh, all those ratty old things went away to Goodwill weeks ago. You'll have to show us you're a big boy again before I buy you any more big boy clothes. In the meantime this is "regular" for you."
I couldn't help it. I started to cry. The thought of wearing just diapers to my own sixteenth birthday party was more than I could stand.
Mom grabbed my wrist and led me over to the stroller. "He's a little tired and cranky," she explained to the photo girl, "Birthdays can get too exciting, you know. I think Jamie's going to need a nap."
Sally buckled the safety straps over my shoulders and clicked the lap bar in place. Now I faced the humiliation of being wheeled through the mall with my plastic pants exposed to all the world. I kept sobbing.
Mom said, "I was thinking of eating lunch out, Sally, but given the state your little brother is in, I think it would be better if we just got him a Happy Meal at McDonald's."
I survived the trip back through the Mall. It had filled up a lot, so quite a few lucky shoppers were there to enjoy the sight of the teary teenager still in diapers and strapped in his stroller. I got a lot of giggles and stares, but we finally made it back to the car. As we drove out the parking lot, I started feeling better. I figured I'd survived the worst. And the guy at MacDonald's drive-up window gave me a big smile and a wave as he filled up my juice bottle.
When we got home, Mom told me I had to take a nap before the party. I was too beat and discouraged to protest, so I climbed into my crib and actually went to sleep for almost two hours….
"SURPRISE!!!" Mom, Dad, Sally and Jillian, Charlie, Lulu, my three cousins, Mike, Gran, Janet and little Brad…and my best friend Jeff… All laughing and blowing noisemakers…All crowded around my CRIB! And me in it, still just in diapers and plastic pants and my stupid baby-style t-shirt. I particularly didn't want Jeff to see me like this, but what could I do? It was too late.
"Come on, Jamie, come downstairs. It's time for your party!", said Jillian, lowering the crib rail and shoving the hateful red t-straps on over my white socks.
"Wow, Jamie, this is really wild," Jeff gaped. "You've got a real little kid's room." He smiled. I felt my panic subsiding a little. Jeff was still my friend.
"Yeah," said Mike, "Isn't it cool? You have to see it to believe it!"
Jillian dragged me downstairs before I could even bring up the subject of putting on a pair of shorts. When I saw the big table set up in the living room I understood why Mom wanted me dressed like I was. And I also understood what my "surprise" was going to be. It looked just like a toddler's birthday party. There were Winnie the Pooh-theme party decorations hung from wall to wall. There were balloons, noisemakers, silly kiddy party hats, and a big paper table cloth printed with pictures of Piglet and Tigger.
"Jamie just adores Winnie-the-Pooh!" Mom was explaining to Gran.
At the head of the table was my high chair, with a stack of presents in juvenile gift wrap, and behind on the wall a string of block letters that spelled "HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY". Only someone had cleverly added an extra little sign to make it read "HAPPY 2nd SECOND BIRTHDAY".
"I'm not two! I'm sixteen," I wailed.
"Oh really?" grinned Uncle Charlie, "You'd never know it to look at you. Maybe sixteen months!" everyone chuckled appreciatively at his funny, funny joke.
"Well, come on outside and get some barbecue," said Dad. "Here, Jamie, let me fix you a plate."
So that's how I ended up celebrating my birthday. Sitting in a highchair, wearing a bib that said "Warning: I'm a two year old!", which was soon covered in messy barbecue sauce. It actually ended up being a pretty good party once I got over the mortification of being dressed just in diapers. After all, everyone there except Jeff had already seen me dressed like a baby. And Jeff let me know right away that it was cool with him, and that he'd still be my friend. He even gave me his collection of Lego blocks as a birthday present.
"Wow, Jeff," I said, amazed when I opened the big box. "How can you give me your Legos? I know how into them you are."
"Mom said I was getting kind of old for them. So I thought maybe I could still come over and play with them at your house. At least your folks aren't making you get rid of your old toys."
In fact I got a bunch of great new toys, which was a lot better than my last birthday, when all I got was books and sweaters. It seemed like people liked giving toddler presents more than teenage ones, because they gave me some fun stuff. There were some more silly Brad hand-me-downs from the Lawsons, like a crib mobile, and a playpen activity set, and a whole box of Rugrats videos from Tim and Josh. Lulu and Charlie gave me an huge Tonka fire truck with real flashing lights. I got a kiddy-style CD/tape player, a Fisher-Price farm animals kit, and a funny mini-golf game. Of course, the presents weren't all great. Like, Gran gave me a Thomas the Tank Engine bib, and Dad gave me the book "Once upon a Potty". But he made up for that with the best present of all - a brand new BMX mountain bike with a card from both him and Mom.
"You've got to look in the bike bag! That's from me" yelled Jillian. I zipped open the pack under the bicycle seat and pulled out a package of Goodnites XL. "They're pull-ups for you to wear when you start toilet training. Like, so you won't have accidents in school. And they're BMX style to go with your bike.!" Sure enough, I pulled one of the pull-ups out of the package and it was printed all over with BMX designs. Jillian laughed, "Isn't it amazing! I guess you're not the only one!"
"Yeah, Mike swears by them," sniggered Sally. Mike turned bright red, and Jillian gave Sally a nudge and told her to shut up. Meanwhile, my cousins Tim and Jeff were looking at Mike and cracking up. What was this thing with Mike wearing Goodnites? I'd have to get to the bottom of that one.
After I'd opened all the presents, Mom made me get back up in my highchair for the cake. Then Julie handed me a big soft package that she'd wrapped up in one of my nursery print pillowcases. It was a brand new diaper bag – a fancy red one from Land's End with "Jamie" embroidered on it. It was a lot nicer and a lot more discreet than the dumb Winnie-the-Pooh one.
"I don't know how much longer you'll be needing a diaper bag, Jamie. But since I'm supposed to babysit you for the rest of the summer, I though a new one would be useful for a little while at least," Julie gave me the sweetest smile.
"It's great," I smiled back. And she leaned over and gave me a kiss.
"My little cutie-pie," she whispered. Something in her look made me think that my new diaper bag would see a lot of use.
Then Mom came in with a big white cake iced with a teddy bear holding some balloons and the words "Happy Birthday Little Jamie". Everyone sang, and I blew out all three candles. Mom tied the new bib from Gran around my neck.
"Make a wish! Make a wish!"
I closed my eyes, and thought…I thought about how I felt really happy right this moment…how everyone was being super nice to me…and how wearing diapers really was "regular" for me now… Did I even want to go back to normal, and be "potty trained" all over again. Had that even really worked the first time round? I mean, although the baby treatment was still pretty embarrassing at times, I was getting kind of used to it, and now with all my family and friends in the know, and with Julie for a baby sitter…The laughing voices sounded kind of far away. I closed my eyes tighter. I made my wish.
"What did you wish?"
"He can't say, silly. But look, he's smiling."
My eyes still closed, I could feel the warm wetness spreading helplessly between my legs.
So Mom's fourteen day "toilet learning" intensive at the end of August turned out to be sort of a bust…from her point of view, at least. Honestly, I did play along while she and Janet took turns riding herd on me and Brad to "go potty" every fifteen minutes. They even canceled the Tidee-Didee delivery and bought us both nice new packs of Fruit of the Looms.
When I thought about it, I certainly didn't want to go back to school still wetting my pants, but when I wasn't thinking about it…well…after two solid months in diapers, it turned out it was hard to keep dry. I'd sit on the toilet for an hour, and nothing would happen. Five minutes later I'd be outside playing and wet my pants. As for nights, the "dry bed" star chart taped on the fridge remained blank and star-free for the whole two weeks. The first couple of days, Mom made me wash my wet bedsheets and playclothes, but after she saw that I was getting nowhere, she gave in and let me start wearing those extra large BMX Goodnites to bed. They were kind of leaky, but they were better than nothing.
I was still going to Kiddiecare every weekday morning. Mom had tried to get them on board with the program, but Danielle said that her policy was "Toilet Training begins at home" and that she just didn't have time do extra stuff for Brad and me when she had all the other kids to take care of. So as a compromise the two of us were supposed to wear pull-ups at daycare – Brad's were the cute Huggies 5T ones with sesame street prints, and I wore my new Goodnites. I was going through a lot of Goodnites, and they tended to leak, but Danielle was cool with it until one morning during circle when I happened to poop in them. It was a horrible mess, and after that Danielle insisted I go back to wearing proper disposable diapers for daycare.
Meanwhile Brad was zooming along with the toilet training program. After his first dry week Janet bought him Spiderman Underoos as a prize. Just a few days after I got put back in daytime diapers, Danielle gave Brad the okay to graduate out of pull-ups. He even started drying up at night. And of course Brad hadn't had any poop accidents since the beginning of the summer.
It was a Friday afternoon in early September, and it was still really warm out. Janet had driven Brad and me home from daycare. She came in to have a cup of coffee with Mom. Brad and I were going to have a snack and watch some cartoons. But first I was supposed to change out of my diapers. Mom insisted that I put on my "big boy" briefs as soon as I got home. As we walked in the kitchen, Mom was folding a stack of wash, with some of my new underpants right on top.
"Oh Jamie, honestly…take those filthy overalls off right now so I can stick them in the wash. I don't know how you can get your clothes in such a state…"
We'd been playing tag and having fun sliding on the grass at the playground, so I guess I was pretty grimy. I dutifully unbuckled my red OshKosh shortalls and handed them over to Mom. Even though Janet had probably seen me just in diapers more often that not that summer, she still chuckled a little at the sight of me standing there in a sagging disposable and a t-shirt.
Mom handed me a pair of white briefs, and said, "Here, put these on. Just dump your wet diaper outside in the trash."
I blushed, and mumbled, "I kind of need to go upstairs first…"
"Whatever for? Don't tell me you've gotten shy about changing your pants in front of Janet? Or are you just waiting for me to do it for you?"
"No, Mom, it's just that I…had a…accident
Brad laughed, "Yeah, Jamie went potty on the way home in the car. He made really funny faces too"
Janet laughed too, "I thought I smelled something nasty…Now I know what you two were snickering about in the back seat. Hilarious…"
Then Mom got furious, "So, Jamie, dirty diapers are a big joke for you! Here I am knocking myself out trying to get you potty-trained so you can go back school next week like a normal teenager, and meanwhile you're making funny faces, and messing your pants, and enjoying a BIG JOKE at my expense. Well the joke's on you, kiddo. You're going to look pretty funny getting on that bus to high school wearing diapers."
"I'm sorry, Mom, I just had to go all of a sudden…honest…I'm really trying… just let me go take a shower…uh…unless you're gonna help me clean up…."
"Help you clean up? I've spent the morning bleaching your brand new underpants because of all your fun "accidents". As far as I'm concerned you can stay in your dirty diaper all weekend. Forget putting it in the trash, it's these new underpants that are going in there! Congratulations, young man. You have now officially flunked toilet training!."
"It wasn't on purpose, Mom, I swear. I just can't help it anymore," I started crying. "I really had to go…I didn't think about it. When Brad noticed…I made a joke about it. I'm sorry, Mom. I don't want to wear diapers to high school. Couldn't I just wear Goodnites like you were saying? I'll take care of them myself, I promise." I wiped the tears away on my sleeve.
Mom looked grim. "No, you've had your chance, Jamie, it's all decided. I tried, and I failed, and now I give up. You're the one who wanted to wear diapers, anyway. Now quit wailing! I swear, you're worse than an actual toddler."
Janet said, "Come on, Alice, give him another break. Why don't you get Dr. Mason to check him out? I mean, it's Dr. Mason's training program and he totally guarantees it. If it's not working for Jamie, maybe there's a real problem."
Mom looked thoughtful. "Mason isn't Jamie's regular doctor. It would probably take weeks to get an appointment"
"As a matter of fact, Brad has an appointment tomorrow that was supposed to be a follow-up, but since he's doing so well, and Jamie's not…well, I'm sure the doctor will understand. I'll go with you. Fred's an old friend. He's seen it all."
Well, Dr. Mason hadn't actually seen a sixteen year old in full-time diapers before, and I don't think anyone else at Suburban Pediatric had either. But they seemed to take it in stride. Janet and Mom picked up Brad and me at Kiddiecare the next day, and then took us right over to the doctor's office. The place was definitely geared for little kids, with cute murals on the walls and tons of toys strewn around the carpeted waiting room. Brad and I naturally gravitated to the toy cars on the floor and started lining up a race. Mom had brought along some cookies for our snack, and when I asked for something to drink, she handed me a sippy-cup of apple juice from my diaper bag. So when the nurse walked in, I was playing on the floor, sucking away on a Baby Elmo sippy-cup, with a couple inches of disposable diaper sticking above the back of my shorts. Mom had been about to put me in one of my snap crotch playsuits, that morning, but then she figured that I should look more "grown-up" for the doctor. But by this point her idea of "grown-up" for me meant toddler-style elastic-waist red cotton shorts and a snap-shoulder t-shirt. The nurse gave us a quizzical look.
"Is this the child who is taking Brad's appointment?…because the doctor is ready to see you now." She gave me a tentative smile. I stood up. I was taller than she was. "My! What a big boy! Come this way, honey." Mom trailed after me, carrying the diaper bag.
Dr. Mason was a large friendly man with a beard. He gave me a big smile and a pat on the back as I walked into the exam room.
"So, you're Jamie! Janet's told me a lot about you. She said that you and Brad have been doing the "toilet learning" program together. It's worked for lots of older kids. How's it been going for you?"
"Not so great," I mumbled, blushing.
"Jamie's getting nowhere, Doctor," said Mom.
"Well, that's too bad…Now, tell me a little about how this started…Janet said you have been having some regression issues."
Mom cut in, "Jamie has had this fixation about diapers for years now. We've even been to a psychologist who finally recommended just letting him wear them. So when Jamie started sneaking Brad's diapers while he was babysitting this summer, we put him back in diapers full-time as a consequence."
Dr. Mason gave Mom a look, "You thought the experience of being in diapers all the time might cure him of these desires?"
"Well, we had to do something. This diaper thing has been going on way too long, and I figured we would let him get it out of his system for once and for all. But now we can't get seem to get him out of them."
Dr. Mason smiled, "A logical consequence for an unusual behavior…but one which may have produced some unintended consequences for you."
The doctor made me pull down my shorts, and then helped me untape my diaper.
"I see you're wet, Jamie. When did that happen?
"I don't know. They changed me at daycare right after snack. Actually…I've kind of stopped noticing when I have to go." The Doctor asked me a lot of other questions. He seemed particularly concerned to hear that I was having poop accidents too. He took my pulse and gave my balls a squeeze and asked me to cough.
He turned to Mom, "Mrs. Taylor, the "Toilet Learning" program relies on the child being ready to learn. For the program to be successful, the child must first be aware when he needs to eliminate. Jamie seems to have lost this awareness. This is probably a result of your decision to put him back in diapers, which is why I generally don't recommend this sort of approach. But now that the damage is done…"
Mom looked upset, "There's got to be something that we can do."
The Doctor smiled pleasantly, "Well, There are some medications, but they're not something I really believe in. If Jamie's chronological age were closer to his functioning "developmental age" – that is about two or three years old - I would just say that he was just not ready for toilet learning and leave it at that. Of course you might go back to your therapist, and try to undo the effects of what has basically been a mild psychological trauma for him…but that will be expensive and it could take a while… I'll order some tests. They should be back Friday. My secretary will give you an appointment."
Dr. Mason shook Mom's hand and gave me a high-five and walked out.
Then the nurse came in and pricked my arm for a blood sample and had me pee in a little cup. She smiled sympathetically at mom, "Do you have a change for your boy? We keep spare ones here for the littler kids, but I don't think we have anything his size."
Mom looked irritated as she pulled a fresh disposable from my diaper bag. The nurse gently taped it on me and helped pull up my shorts.
A couple of days later Mom took me back to Suburban Pediatrics.. She hadn't thought to put "big boy" clothes on me that morning, so I was dressed in my regular OshKosh shortalls, the ones with the stripes and the Thomas the Tank Engine patches. This time Mom went in alone to talk to the doctor, leaving me in the empty waiting room. They were in a long time, and I got kind of bored playing on the floor with the blocks and stuff. We'd had tacos for lunch at daycare, and I'd eaten at least three of them, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when what I thought was just going to be a little fart suddenly turned into a big load in my pants. At least I was wearing a disposable, but I could tell that it was a nasty mess. I must have reeked pretty bad too because Mom wrinkled up her nose when she stepped out into the waiting room.
"Oh, Jamie, you didn't…Oh, just look at you! Who would believe it?" I was sitting on the rug surrounded by the remains of what had been a pretty cool block castle until I got tired of it, with my smelly disposables peeking out the legs of my Thomas the Tank Engine shortalls. I gave Mom an embarassed smile, but she just glared at me and shook her head. "Well, come on, the doctor wants to talk to you." She grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the floor and through the door into Dr. Mason's office.
"Well, Doctor, I'd love it if you would tell "Mr. Stinky Pants" here what you just told me. Just look at him…can you believe that he's actually sixteen?
Dr. Mason chuckled, "The snap crotch overalls do seem rather appropriate under the circumstances." He beamed at me, "Now, Jamie, all the tests came back negative, as I rather expected that they would. That doesn't entirely rule out a physical cause for your toileting regression, but we would have to do an MRI…and in the absence of any physical trauma….Essentially, what I'm saying is that your problem is almost certainly psychological in nature. Which is not to say that it's not real, but it does mean that you first have to want to control it yourself…"
Mom interrupted, "Well, he obviously doesn't, since he just filled his pants out in your waiting room." She gave me a scornful look. "Jamie is starting high school next week! He can't go on like this…"
The doctor replied, "The school does make accommodations for special needs. If you like, I can write a note indicating that this is a problem that we are working on. A little peer pressure might act as an encouragement too. In any case you have two options – the psychologist…"
Mom interrupted again, "I'm not going back to that man. It was his advice that landed us in this situation in the first place!"
Dr. Mason continued, "Or you can wait until Jamie exhibits some of the readiness signs outlined in my program. Frankly, I think a lot of parents lose perspective when it's an older child who is unready to train. Time is still the best answer even in these cases. Sooner or later Jamie will demonstrate that he's ready to act in a more mature way."
"So you're saying he should stay in diapers, Doctor?"
"That is your decision, but as a practical matter…" The doctor sniffed and smiled a little, "He is exhibiting very little control of his functions, so it would be unrealistic to expect him to manage without some form of protection. I recommend that you make another appointment in three or four months, continue monitoring him for the "Toilet Readiness" signs, and then we'll see how he's coming along."
"Three or four months!"
"It could be longer. Mrs. Taylor, this is an unusual case. I've seen several instances of older children wishing to return to diapers….sometimes jealousy toward a new sibling…sometimes because of feeling overwhelmed by adult pressures. This is harmless and temporary, and like your psychologist, I recommend that parents take an accepting attitude. Don't worry…he'll be ready to train sooner or later. For now you'll just have to wait it out. Jamie, you're a lucky boy to have such an understanding family."
The doctor smiled and gave me a crinkly pat on my poopy padded butt. "By the way, Mrs. Taylor, would you like to help Jamie change? You can use one of the examination rooms."
"I'll take care of him at home, doctor. As far as I'm concerned, he can just stew in his own juice for a while."
The doctor raised his eyebrows, "I did notice some signs of rash on your last visit. You really shouldn't let that go too far. It can be quite dangerous…"
"Have a good day, Doctor," Mom grabbed my wrist again and steamed out of the pediatrician's office. My wet, dirty diaper and burning butt made it hard to walk and I had to sort of skip to keep up with her. The nurse and the receptionist gave me a big grin as I hopped down the steps…my legs wide apart just like any other toddler with a case of diaper rash…
Home again, Sally took pity on me and cleaned me up. She set me up in the playpen down in the living room, turned on some cartoons and gave me a bottle of apple juice. Meanwhile, Mom was commiserating with Janet in the kitchen over a cup of coffee and going through the mail.
"Julie said that she wouldn't mind coming over three or four times a week to deal with him, and my girls have been great, but frankly, he's still too much work. And who knows how the school is going to cope with him. Look, here's another thing from Tidee-Didee…I suppose I'll have to call them again. I'm almost out of disposables for him as it is."
"Pete's coming by tomorrow morning to pick up Brad's leftover stuff. I'll send him over again. I'm sure he'll be glad to know that he still has one customer on the block." Janet giggled.
"Brad will be babysitting for Jamie before we're done…" Mom grumbled, "Hey, look at this, Janet. This letter from Tidee-Didee isn't a bill. It's some kind of coupon. What is this?"
Mom held up a letter and read, "America's Baby Contest' – special award – three months complimentary diaper service. Congratulations from your friends at Tidee-Didee!…." What is this? I don't understand…"
Janet took the coupon from mom and puzzled over it. Mom pulled the next letter from the stack of mail and said, "And look! Here's a letter marked 'America's Baby Contest'. 'Prizes inside'? Why are they sending me this?" Mom read through the letter. "I don't believe it! Oh, Janet," she exclaimed, " Oh, this is so wild…it seems that the Sears photographer entered one of Jamie's birthday pictures in this contest, and they actually liked it. Would you listen to this!"
"Dear Mrs. Taylor:
America's Baby is pleased to inform you that your son Jamie's photo portrait was selected for a Special Category award in our September baby picture competition! Our judges picked Jamie's portrait from thousands of submissions as one of "America's Cutest". Your amazing awards package includes discounts and free prizes from our many sponsors here at America's Baby magazine – including Baby's 'R' Us, Fisher-Price, Pampers, Evenflo, and Johnson & Johnson. And if you're a registered customer with any member of the National Diaper Service Association, you may also qualify for additional goods and services. Your local vendors have already been notified that you are one of our prize winners!
Best of all, you'll be receiving a free six month subscription to America's Baby!
Watch out for your little Jamie's picture in our next great issue!
America's Baby – "the magazine of America's Cutest."
Janet burst out laughing, "That's totally incredible! How can a sixteen year old win a baby picture contest!"
Mom was laughing too, "Actually the photos were awfully cute. Didn't I show them to you? Sally, go get Jamie's birthday pictures. They're on my desk. So…three more months of Tidee-Didee. Why that's free diapers right up through Christmas!
Sally brought in the glossy proofs from Sears.
"Oh, these are priceless," Janet said, "The sailor suit is precious, but I love the one of him in his little striped t-shirt. Look at that expression. You can almost see him thinking 'Oops, I just did it in my pants!'."
"As a matter of fact he had. I think that's the picture she entered in the contest. I wonder if they ever had a "special category" winner before?
"Well, they've got one now!" Janet laughed. "Just look at all these coupons! So Petewill be back delivering on Willow Street again!" Janet smiled over at me sitting in the playpen. "Did you hear that, Jamie? You're a prize winner! You're America's Cutest! I think you'd better stay in diapers forever."
"Now, Janet, don't say that. He'll be sick of them by Christmas." Mom gave a wicked little grin. "Especially once his high school classmates see him in the sweet corduroy Oshkosh overalls I got him for back to school…they're the cutest shade of Kelly green."
Janet hooted, "High school! I'd just keep him at KiddieKare!"
"I'd sure like to…but I spoke with the school nurse already. Dr. Mason sent them a letter and she said she'll be happy to check Jamie every day at recess to see if he needs changing. I did get him excused from Phys Ed in the afternoons, and he can still go to daycare after school." My heart sank…it didn't sound like I was going to be playing JV soccer this fall.
So today was my last day of summer vacation, and I woke up soaking wet – even wetter than usual. Jillian remarked, "You are one soaked little puppy this morning," as she let down the rail on my crib. "Breakfast's all ready. I'll just have to change you afterward." She gave me a Blue's Clues t-shirt to wear, and I toddled downstairs after her. My diapers squished under me as she snapped the tray on my highchair. As she handed me a sippy-cup of orange juice, the doorbell rang. Mom opened the door, and gave Pete, my friend from the diaper service, a big hello.
"Pete! Great to see you back. You're just in time. We've totally run out! And I have to get some disposables over to the school this afternoon. The nurse said she'd let Jamie keep some in her office."
"Well, that's nice of her," Pete smiled. "Hey, Jamie, we were worried you were going to dry up and put us out of business!" He winked at me. "So, school starts tomorrow!"
Dad looked up from his paper, "I can just see Jamie's report card: English A-, Math B+, Toilet Training F."
Pete gave me a wink, "Oh, Jamie's not the first toilet training dropout that graduated from high school. I happen to know there's a few other kids there still in diapers…Anyway, folks, it's great to be back on the block. Congratulations winning that picture contest, Jamie! We put your photo up on the bulletin board in the office. Can't wait to see it in the magazine!" I squirmed a little in my high chair at the thought. Pete dumped a big stack of cotton diapers on the counter. "See you next week! Stay dry!"
Mom said, "Jillian, would you mind getting Jamie ready for daycare? Here's one of the disposables Pete just delivered. You can change him right here, and just put the same shortalls on him that he had on yesterday. I'll get his diaper bag set up, and then I'll put together his supplies for school. And is it okay if you drive him?"
Jillian helped me down from my highchair and made me lie on the sofa by the TV. "Good thing you're just wet, buster, because I'm in a hurry!" Expertly, she oiled and powdered my baby-smooth diaper area - and tugged the bulky disposable up between my legs. She made me stand up, pulled my shortalls down over my head, then did up the crotch-snaps, and patted me on my crinkly bottom. "Whose the America's cutest little boy? It's time to go to daycare!" And off we went…
So, that's the whole story…my name's Jamie, and I just turned sixteen, and I'm the oldest kid here at the KiddieKare Daycare Center by at least ten years. But KiddieKare is where I've been spending my mornings this summer, and things could be worse…a lot worse… Frankly, I'd rather be hanging out at daycare than modeling my new snap-crotch corduroy overalls on the bus to High School tomorrow. Because even if I am the only sixteen year old here, I'm pretty sure this is where I belong, and you know…it's what I always wanted.
Like Dad said, "If you act like a baby, you'll be treated like a baby!"
And if you're treated like a baby?…well how would you act?