I'm a twin but, as is quite common, my sister got damaged as she came out. She looks identical to me but she has real difficulty doing anything - she's physically fine but her brain is like that of a small child.
She got wilder when she got to her late teens so she's in a home now, but when we were growing up we all lived together. She always tried to do what I did and would get really upset when she failed.
I felt, and still feel, love and affection for her but back then it was hard work. If she felt she was being treated differently from me she got unhappy and would make a big fuss. I often think that she wanted things given to her to be given to me as well. Perhaps that's just my fantasy but she was my little sister.
Most of the time she was happy and would wander contentedly around the house. She would come and cuddle and climb into your lap or into your bed at any time. We had to be careful not to leave the doors open or let her into the garage or the workshops as she had no idea of danger and would wander away if we didn't take care.
She could make a stab at feeding herself and could find the bathroom if she needed it - but if the bathroom was full she'd not know what to do - and probably have an accident. At home making sure she could get to the bathroom was not a problem - we'd just leave the door open when we were in there and make way for her as soon as we could. This was often disconcerting for visitors as we had taken all the locks off all the doors so she could not lock herself in.
When it came to help in feeding her it always fell to me to do it. She was happy that way and I got used to a 'one spoonful for her, one spoonful for me' routine from an early age.
The real problems came when we went on car trips. This happened quite often due to the physical spread of our family. She had to wear a diaper and sit in a special car seat when we travelled. The seat stopped her from wriggling out of the seatbelt, or from opening the door, or even climbing into the drivers lap. It was just like a kids car-seat except bigger and deeper. It had big shoulder straps and a wide padded lap belt that clipped across from side to side and between the legs. As I said it was just like a babies car seat only bigger.
Getting her to wear a diaper for the trips was a always a problem and a problem which got worse as she got older. I think at some point she realised that I was treated differently in the car in that I did not wear a diaper and did not sit in the same sort of car seat.
We got a new car when we were both about 11 and we had to get a bigger seat for her - the old one would not fit the new car properly and she was growing out of it. The new seat would fit anyone up to adult size.
Her new seat was installed in the car before it arrived from the dealer but about a week later it broke - fairly seriously - just as we were setting off on our first trip. The trip was cancelled the seat sent back for repair. The company lent us a new seat straight away and said that they would return ours when it was fixed.
Due to a major mix-up with the shippers our seat did not get back to us for so long that the company said that they did not want the loaner back as it was too old so we should keep both - I guess they got compensation from the shippers for loosing our seat for 4 months.
Car trips continued to be hard work.
I suggested that for long trips, as we had two seats, I should use the other seat. If she saw me getting into the other seat it might perhaps make trips more peaceful. It seemed to me to be a small sacrifice for some peace in the car. I'd tried sitting in her seat and it was quite comfy and it had a headrest at the side so that I could sleep. I guess I had a slightly selfish motive as it was usually me that had to deal with the tantrums in the back of the car and anything to reduce them would be good. Moreover if I was in a seat like hers it would be less easy for me to have to deal with them.
Mom said that she thought that would be a great idea as she knew that treating us in the same way was a sure way of keeping the peace.
The next trip was an early start like about 6 AM. I remember being woken by my mum and looking out of the window at the first snow of the year. It looked to be real cold with a wind that whipped the snow into swirls across the road.
As I started to dress mum said "no fuss now, don't dress yourself today, get your sister down onto the bed in my bedroom and I'll make a point of dressing you together. That way we'll see if we can have a good trip."
I got my sister down to the master bedroom and when mum returned she started to undress my sister and asked me to undress too: "both the same remember" she whispered.
I undressed and lay on the bed alongside my sister. My mother took a lot of diapering things out of the dresser came over to me - I began to protest but caught her eye - I let her diaper me which was a weird sensation particularly as she put on an extra doubler pad and plastic pants over the top.
Then she diapered my sister and dressed us alike. When travelling my sister would wear an all in one suit with a zip on the back rather like the sort of thing you wear to go skiing in. This stopped her un-tucking her clothes and taking them off.
"You know", mom said after she finished dressing us both "I wasn't thinking, I really didn't need to put all those diaper layers on you but I get so used to doing it for her."
The jumpsuit was nice and warn but I felt real odd walking around in a diaper.
But the plan had worked. My sister was dressed and diapered without fuss or complaint. A process which would normally have taken half an hour and left us frayed was completed in less than ten minutes. Father was amazed. He usually got the car packed whilst Mum and I got my sister ready for travel. This time we were ready before the bags were even out of the house.
I helped father with the bags and after ten minutes rapid packing we were ready to get in the car.
Mum suggested that I get in first so my sister would see me getting in so I got into my seat and pulled the waist band up between my legs. I tried to clip it in at the side but could not reach. I'd never tried to fasten the seat when I'd sat in it before.
My father came over to me and said quietly in my ear, "I'd never have guessed that this idea of treating you both the same would have worked so well thanks for putting up with it."
Then with practiced hand he clipped the waist band and the shoulder straps in place and pulled them snugly in place and went off to see to my sister. Five minutes later and we were under way. Six minutes later I was back asleep.
It was light when I woke and I gradually realised where I was. My mother was asleep in the front seat my sister was quiet in hers. I lent forward to have a look at her and realised that I was strapped in firmly.
I found that being strapped in is not a problem but after a while I'd forget and reach for something or try to move and find that I couldn't. Having a seat with deep sides and big shoulder straps meant that I could not reach out sideways. The padded side that was comfortable to sleep against also meant that I could not reach the door or window. This was the designers idea of course but it also meant that I couldn't lean forward to see my sister or to get my books from the floor.
I dozed for some time until we found ourselves in traffic and mother woke and I could get her to hand me my books.
Father cursed the traffic. My sister woke and began to complain. Mom turned round and handed her a drink in the drinking cup she used in the car.
"Do you want a drink?" she asked me.
When I nodded yes she passed me a drinking cup just like my sisters. I was going to protest but thought better of it.
The traffic opened up, my sister was quiet, the sun was shining out on the snow fields. I had a book to read and mum had put on my favourite CD. As travel situations go this was pretty good, car seats and diapers were inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.
Half a book later things were not so good. I realised that I was going to need to go to the bathroom. Of course as soon as that happened we went back into traffic. This time it was solid. The weather had clouded over and there was snow in the air.
Half an hour later I was getting desperate.
"Mom, I really need the bathroom" I said
My father replied instead "I think we may be able to pull over in a bit - there's a wood over there you can go pee in that if you like"
But mom said
"But dad, you know she cant do that she's wearing one of her sisters rompers and they zip up the back" then to me
"I'm sorry dear you'd freeze out there - you'll just have to wait like the rest of us."
"Ok," I said doubtfully "but please stop at the next service station".
A few minutes later I said
"do you mind if I use my diaper, I'm bursting."
"No of course honey"
"but you'll have to wait till we arrive to be changed - you know we can't change your sister in the car so I don't want to change you, OK?"
I thought I'd just let out a little so as to reduce the pressure a bit before the next service stop. I cautiously tried to let out a little water but as soon as it started I lost control and the rest came with a rush. My bladder had been really painful so the relief was fantastic. The feeling of warmth spreading around underneath me was weird but not actually unpleasant.
"Thanks mom," I said "there's no need to stop on my account, now".
About an hour later we were still in traffic so Dad stopped the car to relieve himself in the woods. My sister was getting more and more restive. Whilst we were stopped Mom had turned round and said to my sister "I know what you need."
After rummaging in the baby bag removed an adult sized pacifier on a clip-on cord. I saw her lean forward with it but could not see where she attached it. It was to no avail for my sister went on making a fuss.
The next thing I knew mum was popping an identical pacifier into my mouth and grinning from ear to ear. She clipped the end somewhere out of site.
"So cute" she said.
I let the pacifier drop out and hang there and protested "hey mom what are you doing this for she can't even see me use it for god's sake, I know I agreed to this being treated alike but this is going too far." I think I went on to complain about having wet diaper too and to generally make a fuss.
Mum just ignored me and turned to my sister and said "what a noise your big sister is making, it's so nice that you are being good and your sister is behaving badly for a change." My sister was aware of praise and tone of voice so she stopped making a noise.
Mum looked at me and grinned - then she leant over and put the pacifier back in my mouth.
Well done mum I thought. And went back to reading my book.
Dad returned from the woods and asked mum if she needed to go.
"No" she said
"I know they got diapers - but how do you manage to last" he asked ?
"Maybe I'm got one too" she laughed - "you can have one for the way back if you like!"
When we had been driving for another hour or so we stopped for gas and a drive thru burger. When the gas guy came to fill the car with gas I noticed he was real cute and was grinning at me - but then I realised that blonde girls with pacifiers are sort of rare - so I grinned back but he went out of sight behind my seat.
The rest of the journey was uneventful. I was thankful that mom had diapered me as heavily as my sister because I needed to wet again before we arrived.
When we arrived I got let out first. My Auntie, who we were visiting was surprised to see me dressed as I was but it was soon explained. As soon as we got in I helped mom change my sister and then got mum to unzip my jumpsuit. I got some normal clothes and went to the bathroom and changed. When I came out my mother happened to be passing so I gave her my diaper to put in the trash.
Weighing it in her hand she said "you did do a lot - good thing I put all those layers on"
The visit was only for three days so we were soon ready for the way back. We repeated the procedure on the way back - without the traffic - but otherwise the same.
I don't think that mum or dad really wore diapers for long trips but my sister and I did. That trip established the way we travelled until my sister had to go into a home and I went to college.
Now I'm at college and have my own car but old habits die hard so I still wear a diaper on long car journeys.