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Thread: Meg's Transformation

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    Meg's Transformation

    Megan Alder breathed a sigh of relief as she stood outside her car and gazed at the familiar sight that was her parents' house. She had just completed her first year of college, and while it was a blast, it felt good for her to be home once again. A gust of wind blew back her light brown hair as she ascended up the walk towards the door. It was open, meaning someone had to be home. However, when Megan peered inside to her kitchen, she neither saw nor heard anyone.
    "Helloooo," she called. "Anyone there?"
    Not waiting for a reply, she crept inside. The familiar scent of her mother's homemade brownies cooling on a plate comforted her. She was about to help herself to one when the baker arrived.
    "Megan," her mother Nancy greeted, wrapping her up in a warm embrace. "We missed you so much."
    "I missed you too, Mom," the girl answered. "Is Dad around?"
    "He's at work, hun."
    "Whatabout everyone else?"
    "Stephen and Carrie are still in school. Jessica is spending some time with her boyfriend."
    Nancy delivered this last bit of news with a hint of dissatisfaction. Jessica was her eldest daughter: 26, headstrong, wild and stubborn. She was also engaged to a man neither Nancy nor her husband much cared for. They still held out hope she would come to her senses (hence they always called him 'the boyfriend' and never 'the fiancé'), but that hope was fading fast.
    "I have a lot of stuff to bring in," Megan said, excusing herself from her mother's company.
    "That can wait," Nancy assured her. "Sit down and relax. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about."
    Over a brownie and milk, Megan gave her a brief rundown of the semester. Classes were OK. Some were interesting, some were downright repellant. Her grades were decent. Yes, she met a lot of fascinating people, made some new friends. No, she wasn't getting into trouble. Living with a roommate was actually quite fun. Yes, she was looking forward to next year. She declined to tell Nancy that she smoked pot (albeit only once) or that she got a parking ticket (quickly paid off), but what her mother didn't know wouldn't hurt her.
    About an hour later, all of her stuff was inside. Most of it lay in boxes and bags, but she was in no rush to unpack. Megan lay on her bed in her room, snuggling against a pillow and relaxing. So much had happened the past few weeks that it felt good just to be able to do nothing at all. Eventually, she would go back to working at the pharmacy and she would definitely catch up with her friend, but right now she just felt like taking it easy.
    "Steve! Quit being such a dork."
    "You're the dork, dorkface!"
    Megan sighed. Her siblings had arrived home from school. Carrie was 15 and generally considered the black sheep of the family. She had dark hair to everyone else's brown or light blonde. She was thin and bony whereas everyone else had a healthy figure. She was constantly juggling her identity, going from vegetarian one day to devouring a steak the next. No matter who or what she was, Megan still loved her.
    At age 11, Stephen was the baby of the family and the only male child. He horded his little brother position with mischievous glee, sucking in parental attention like an affectionate black hole. He and Carrie squabbled often. Megan used to find him an annoyance as well, but being away from him for a few months made her realize she cared about him. Yes, he was immature, disgusting and manipulative, but what were little brothers for?
    "Not going to say hello?" Megan chastised as they walked past her room towards theirs.
    "Megan's home!" Steve shouted, rushing up to his sister with his hand out. She extended her palm to give him a high five, but he quickly withdrew it. "Too slow!" he taunted, retreating in a fit of giggling. He hadn't changed a bit.
    Carrie, on the other hand, looked an entirely different person. She had gone Goth in Megan's absence, forsaking bright colors and t-shirts with witty sayings for black lipstick and a studded necklace. Megan stared at her incredulously.
    "Relax, Meg," she said cheerfully. "It's still me."
    "I can't believe Mom and Dad let you get away with this," she joked.
    "They hate it. They tell me so practically every day. But I'm getting good grades and I'm not getting in trouble, so they aren't going to do anything."
    "Well…it's different. And that's cool."
    "How was college?"
    "Good, good."
    "Anything cool happen?"
    Megan smiled. She was about to tell Carrie of her many adventures when she heard the sound of her father's car approaching. "Daddy's home," she remarked. "I'll tell you later."
    Drew Adler was happy to see his second-eldest daughter. He greeted her with a quick kiss on the forehead and handed her an envelope.
    "I know your birthday was a few days ago," he said. "But better late than never."
    "That's OK," Megan remarked. She had in fact been in the middle of a gruesome Statistics final when she turned 19. Any present, especially the gift certificate to the mall her parents had gotten her, was more than welcome.
    "From all of us. We're also taking you out to dinner tomorrow night."
    Megan beamed. "Thanks."
    Her experiences at college were the main topic of conversation over dinner and Megan felt a bit overwhelmed by all the questions. She wondered if anyone else encountered this when they went home or whether her family loved her just that much. It was, she reasoned, probably some degree of both.
    After pulling a few all-nighters during finals week, driving home, unpacking, and being with the family, Megan was dead tired when she climbed into bed. Her bed, with its many pillows and cozy feel, was a welcome improvement over the bed in her dorm. Too exhausted to change or shower, she slipped off her jeans and fell asleep in her t-shirt and panties. It felt good to be home.
    Megan feared that waking up early day after day for classes would condition her so that she would not be able to sleep in. She dreaded turning into a zombie, staying up til 1 and waking at 7 on virtually no sleep. As it turned out, she needn't have worried at all. It was 10:14 when her head rose from her pillows.
    Megan yawned, stretched and sat up. Only then did she sense that something was wrong. She felt cold…and wet. Looking down and pressing her hand against her panties, her suspicion was confirmed. She had wet herself in her sleep. It wasn't much, and her sheets were still dry, but there was nonetheless a big wet stain in her panties.
    "What the fu…." she exclaimed and then abruptly remembered how tired she was. Her need for sleep must have superceded her need to urinate. "Oh. Hehe."
    However, when Megan sat on the toilet that morning, she couldn't produce a drop. She chalked it up to just another freak occurrence and let it go.
    Her siblings at school and her parents at work, Megan enjoyed a bowl of cereal in just her panties. The icky wet feeling had subsided and she was in no rush to do anything. Eventually, she showered and put on a cute tank top and shorts. The shorts were getting to be a bit too tight for her liking and would have to be replaced. Fortunately for her, she had a gift certificate with her name on it (literally).
    Before she could ponder her next activity, Megan was called to action by the sounding of a car horn. She looked out her window to see her Sabrina Stone and Desiree Macedo sitting in a convertible with the top down. Megan smiled. She hadn't seen her friends since spring break and missed hanging out with them. There was no time to start again like the present. She slid her feet into a pair of sandals, grabbed her bag and headed on out.
    "Hey slut!" Sabrina greeted.
    "Hey bitch," Meg called, returning the favor. She climbed into the backseat and her friends showered her with hugs. They also each presented her with a gift. Des had gotten her a new CD and Sabrina a swimsuit.
    "Wow. Thanks, guys."
    "Ted is going to love you in that," Des commented on the swimsuit.
    Megan seemed slightly embarrassed. Ted had been her boyfriend since high school. While the fact that they went to different colleges put a strain on their relationship, they nonetheless remained together. Yet she had not thought of him at all since coming home.
    "Come on," said Sabrina, gunning the accelerator. "Let's show the birthday girl a good time."
    They went to a sports bar and chatted amicably with some of the men folk. Next, they took her to get blonde highlights in her hair. Lastly, they stopped for ice cream and thoroughly embarrassed her by making everyone in the shop sing happy birthday. It was a blast.
    Not long after they dropped her off at home, Megan was in her room trying on the new bikini. It was teal with black trim and it was supposed to make her look very sexy. Megan didn't think of herself as sexy as all. Instead, she saw herself as fat and plain; quite unflattering. Nonetheless, she acknowledged that there were guys that thought differently. She pictured herself on a beach in front of a group of shirtless, gorgeous men. Standing in front of the mirror, she began to walk in place, shaking her ample ass and smiling to her invisible suitors.
    All of the sudden, she stopped. A jolt of disgust overtook her. What about Ted? She was being quite unfair to him. While she had never cheated on him, there were times (such as this one), where he didn't seem to matter. She had of course been hit upon by other guys and had sometimes returned the favor. At a frat party or two, she found strange hands upon her shoulders or waist. While she never let things get any further then that, she nonetheless thought nothing of it. Even when Sabrina and Des took her out to the sports bar, she found herself overcome with desire for men other than Ted. She had to see him again and soon.
    At that moment, the phone rang. By virtue of an eerie coincidence, the caller was none other than Theodore Dzabra.
    "Hey," he said, and Megan found herself taking comfort in his voice.
    "Hey. I was just thinking about you."
    "Oh yeah? Not in a bad way I hope."
    "The worst," she joked. "So what's up?"
    "Nothing. Look, sorry I missed your birthday. I had finals."
    "Yeah, me too."
    "Get anything good?"
    "Gift certificate from the parents and Sabrina got me this new bikini. I'm wearing it now."
    "Oooh, sexy."
    He coughed. "I want to see you."
    "I want to see you too. But my parent's are taking me out tonight."
    "I meant like now."
    "Hmm," Megan pondered. It wasn't like Ted to be this impatient. Then again, she placed herself in his shoes. If he had been faithful (and there was no reason to believe he hadn't been), then he hadn't had sex or any other close encounters with the opposite sex since they hooked up over spring break. That seemed like an awfully long time to wait, for a guy. Besides, she reasoned with a wicked grin, maybe he'd want to give me a birthday present. "OK."
    They met at a soccer field where Ted had wreaked havoc during his Youth League days. He went on to become a Varsity midfielder and continued to play (albeit sparingly) in college. He was also bright (3.7 GPA) and good-looking (tall, strong, dark hair), but it was his demeanor that made Megan feel truly lucky to be with him. Despite his talents, Ted was modest and unselfish. He often let Megan, who often shunned or was denied the spotlight, be the center of attention and she loved him for it.
    "I got you something," he said, kissing her as their arms engulfed each others' bodies.
    "Oh yeah?" she asked coyly, returning his kiss with hers. "What's that?"
    He grinned and presented her with a bracelet.
    "Aww….it's so nice."
    Just as Ted had been an afterthought mere hours ago, he was now the only thought. She chided herself for thinking her interests lay elsewhere. Here was this great, attractive, wonderfully caring guy. Why would she want anyone else?
    "Listen," he said, breaking off their embrace. "We've got to talk."
    Megan didn't like the sound of those words. "About what?"
    "About this," he replied, gesturing the two of them with his hands. "Remember back in March when I said I didn't know if this was gonna work?"
    "But it is working!" Megan protested, feeling hesitation grow in her voice. "We're here right now."
    "Meg, I cheated on you," he confessed. "It was with some random girl and it meant nothing and I felt like shit afterwards, but…."
    "Then why did you do it?" she hissed.
    "Because I couldn't help it, OK," he answered. "We hadn't seen each other for months and even then it was only for a day or two at a time."
    "You bastard," she said. "I never cheated on you."
    "Oh come on. Like you never had your eyes on other guys."
    "I did," she admitted. "But I never cheated!"
    "And I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to hurt you."
    "Then why did you have to tell me that?!" she pouted, her eyes tearing, her hands rolled up into fists.
    "Because it's not right for me to lie to you about it."
    She took a deep breath and sighed. "You're right."
    "And because it might happen again."
    "What?!?! Ted, I don't understand…."
    "Right now, you're the most important thing in the world to me. But it might be two months into the semester; we might be too busy to visit each other and all of the sudden I'll just forget. Or maybe you'll forget."
    "Ted, don't do this."
    "I have to, meg. This isn't working."
    "Fine," she hissed, handing him the bracelet back. "I don't want it."
    "No, you keep that."
    "I said I don't want it!"
    "I still love you."
    "Bastard," she repeated, crying once more.
    What was supposed to be a celebratory dinner that night was a staid affair. Megan was still shaken with grief. She barely ate and talked even less. Her family tried to show their support, but she remained cold and distant. After trying and failing to comfort and reassure her, they allowed Steve to become the center of attention once more.
    Megan was feeling no better that night, but the grief had changed. She no longer felt anger and indignation towards Ted, but instead a slow, biting emptiness. It was as if some cruel force had sucked her soul out through a straw. She supposed she still loved Ted (otherwise, why would it hurt so much?), but what bothered her most was the adjustment. She had come home from college expecting things to pick up where they left off. Instead, she found herself starting all over.
    Sabrina tried to appease her over the phone.
    "I always knew he was a prick."
    "He was a great guy."
    "In high school, maybe."
    "I don't know what I'm going to do."
    "Come on out with us. You need to do something to get him off your mind. Sitting around and moping is no good for you."
    "Thanks, but I don't think so. I'm tired. I think I'm just gonna sleep."
    "OK, Meg. Feel better, hun."
    Megan again found solace in the comfort of her bed and was able to drift off into a painless sleep. In her dreams, she and Ted were still together. In her dreams, Carrie was happily adjusted and her mom and Jess got along. In her dreams, nothing had changed.
    When Meg awoke the next morning, it was a quarter to ten. She felt better: relaxed, refreshed and ready to take on the world once more. Unfortunately, her bed was a different story entirely. Her panties were saturated and cleaved to her skin uncomfortably. Pushing her drenched sheets off was like fighting a tidal wave. Mouth agape, Megan screamed in surprise.
    "Megan?" Nancy called. She had the morning off. "Is everything all right?"
    A"Yes, mom," she answered convincingly. She climbed out of bed and marched disgustedly to the shower.
    B"No," she said in a tiny voice, weeping as her mother approached her room.

    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    "No," she said in a tiny voice, weeping as her mother approached her room. She felt horrible, both about what happened and the way she was reacting. Big girls shouldn't cry. Then again, big girls shouldn't wet their beds either. Still, it was nothing more than an accident. But it had happened the night before. Conflicted, she crossed her arms and attempted to pull herself together.
    Megan barely had time to react as Nancy approached. She felt ashamed, but hoped talking with her mother could help.
    "Honey, are you…" Nancy began, ducking her head into the room. Her lips formed a perfect O of surprise. "What happened here?"
    "I wet my bed, Mom."
    "Oh. I see," she replied, quite flustered. When she heard Megan's scream, she thought the worst: her daughter had hurt herself somehow and was in pain. She then rationalized and came up with the explanation that she had just awoken from a ad dream or a bee had gotten into the room. In none of her permutations was a bedwetting episode even considered. "Well…"
    "It happened the night before too," Megan continued. "Only it was just a little then and I didn't think anything was wrong. But now…" She began to get herself all worked up again.
    "Shhh…. calm down," Nancy urged. She had been used to treating Megan as an adult (or a near-adult) and adjusted herself to the idea that she might soon "lose" her just as she lost Jessica (albeit hopefully to a better end). That she would have to take a more nurturing role never crossed her mind. However, instincts kicked in and she soon regained her old touch. "There's no need to get worked up. It's probably just a phase. Remember when you were Steve's age…."
    "This isn't just a phase!" Megan snapped. "I'm nineteen fucking…." She saw the stern look on her mother's face, took a deep breath, and proceeded more calmly. "This isn't a phase. Ugh…. I just want to know what's wrong with me."
    "Probably nothing. Maybe you are just under a lot of stress. However, I think it would be a good idea if you went to the doctor. Don't you?"
    Megan nodded and finally climbed out of bed. Together, they stripped off the sheets and assessed the damage to the mattress. Fortunately for Megan, her egg crate pad had absorbed the brunt of the damage. It would have to be replaced, but it was better that then the mattress.
    "Thanks, Mom," she said as they lugged the bedding down to the laundry room.
    "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about this."
    Megan smiled and blew her a kiss. Her mother's support left her feeling a little less rotten about what happened and she found herself able to move on. With a mixture of disgust and regret, she peeled off her thoroughly drenched panties and discarded them. She then hopped in the shower and rinsed for a very long time.
    "Good news," Nancy said after she had dressed. "Dr. Hardy's 2:00 cancelled and he can see you today."
    "Great," Megan answered, but she was hesitant. What if they did find something wrong?
    At twenty after two, Megan found herself sitting in just her underwear on an examination table waiting for the doctor to arrive. It was a warm spring day, but inside the sterilized, air-cooled room with no clothes on, she found herself shivering badly. At least part of the reason for her shivering was fear. She would have preferred a female physician, but Doc Hardy dealt with the entire family and had known her for years. She supposed she trusted him and knew, at least, that he would treat her with courtesy and respect as opposed to looking at her as just more money in the bank.
    Hardy finally arrived and apologized for the wait. He talked to Megan as he gave her a physical, asked her how school was, made her feel relaxed. It was almost more like an interview than an examination.
    "Your mother told me you had a little incident this morning," he said delicately, after going through all the items on his list.
    "I…um…wet the bed," she quietly replied.
    "Well…that's probably nothing to worry about," he told her, echoing her mother's words. "Have you had this condition previously?"
    "No. Not since I was little."
    "Does bedwetting run in your family?"
    Megan shrugged.
    "Hmm…I'll have to ask your mother about that. Have there been any recent changes in your routine? Your diet?"
    "Well…I just got back from college," she explained. "But I don't get it. I've been sleeping more and doing less."
    "My daughter is the same way. It could just be the adjustment to living at home again."
    "Is there something else?"
    "I…well…something happened and I'm feeling pretty bad about it."
    "I see."
    "So is there anything wrong with me?"
    "Physically, no. You do seem a little on the fatigued side…"
    "But I've been sleeping more!" she protested.
    "I know. But it hasn't been an easy sleep."
    "That's funny. I don't remember any nightmares or anything."
    "I could write you a scrip for something. But it would keep you up, possibly even cause you to lose even more sleep."
    "I don't care. I just want this to go away."
    Hardy sucked his teeth and stroked his chin. Something was up with this girl, but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Tell you what," he said. "I'll write you the scrip and we'll see if it helps. In the meantime, try to take it easy. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Family? Friends? A counselor perhaps."
    "I don't need a shrink," she snapped. "Sorry…I'm just a bit bothered by all this. But yeah, I have people to talk to."
    "That's great. You might also want to think about protection, for the bed…or yourself."
    Megan looked at him strangely. For herself? What in the hell did that mean? When she had a brief bout with bedwetting at a younger age, her parents had given her GoodNites to wear. They weren't so bad and the whole episode lasted only a few weeks. But now she was too big for GoodNites and this looked as if it could last longer. Did that mean she would have to wear diapers? She shuddered to think.
    "Like I said," he concluded. "Probably nothing. But we'll wait and see."
    The bedwetting incident was still on her mind when she arrived at Bledsoe's Pharmacy. She started working there her junior year of high school and saw no reason to quit. Some of the customers were annoying, but her coworkers were a delight. They even promised to hold her position for her while she was away at school.
    Megan had been in the store all of two seconds when familiar eyes fell upon her.
    "Hiya Meg," greeted Josh, the tall and lanky twenty-two year old assistant manager. "I see you've rejoined us."
    "Yup yup…. I'm back. Is Vern around? I should probably go tell him."
    "In the back," Josh directed.
    Vern was the manager. Fifty and stout, he was a bit of a curmudgeon at times but treated everyone fairly. There were several instances last summer where Megan thought the vein in his forehead would explode after he got off the phone from "those cocksuckers from Regional who have no damn consideration for what we're doing up here."
    Megan found Vern going through a stack of invoices in the office. He seemed neither surprised nor relieved to see her.
    "Back again, are ya?" he asked with a half-grunt. "Well, good. We need someone who knows what they're doing around here."
    "I can work tonight if you need me," she volunteered. It was best to get on Vern's good side quickly and stay there.
    He shook his head. "Might as well start tomorrow."
    Megan forced a smile, but he had already gone back to his invoices. With nothing to do, she considered leaving, but quickly remembered Doc Hardy's advice and the prescription in her pocket. She was a little hesitant to have it filled at the place where she worked, but then again she was not about to let this thing get the better of her. Besides, many of the pharmacists only put pills in a bottle and wouldn't even know what her scrip was for.
    "Hey Raul," she greeted the pharmacist on duty as she approached the counter.
    "I thought you left," he replied, searching fastidiously for a misplaced envelope.
    "Well…I'm back. And I need this filled."
    "Sure. Just a second."
    He continued his rummaging and eventually found what he was looking for.
    "There. Now Mr. Walters' heart won't stop and Vern can't fire me like he's been threatening. Ha!"
    Megan smirked.
    "So whatcha need?"
    She carefully handed the prescription.
    "You look fine to me," he remarked.
    "Allergies," she lied. "They come and go."
    He nodded and took the prescription to the back to be filled. Meanwhile, as discretely as possible, Megan began searching the incontinence products. She was looking for a mattress pad, but so far all she found were assorted varieties of adult diapers.
    "Whatcha looking for?" Josh asked.
    She didn't hear him approach and his sudden presence nearly scared her into wetting herself once more.
    "I…umm.." she mumbled. "Isn't this where Cosmetics used to be?"
    "One aisle over," he directed.
    "Silly me. You must have moved it while I was gone."
    "Actually, no."
    "Well then I guess I've just been away too long."
    Megan marched up to the pharmacy counter and fetched her medicine. She bid everyone goodbye and assured them she'd see them all bright and early tomorrow.
    "How are things at the pharmacy?" Drew asked over dinner.
    "Pretty much the same," Megan answered. "I go in tomorrow."
    "I heard you had a visit with Dr. Hardy. What about?"
    Megan blushed.
    "A woman's problem, dear," Nancy interjected.
    Drew nodded and said no more.
    "Does Megan have PMS?" Stephen asked. "Billy said his sister had it and then she acts like a real bitch."
    "Stephen!" Nancy scolded.
    Both Megan and Carrie chuckled.
    That night, shortly before hitting the sack, Megan was sure to take her medication. She ingested the pills as directed and prayed her bed would be dry by morning.
    Megan did in fact awake in a dry bed, but it was not without its price. The medication kept her up and running to the bathroom practically all night. She always felt like she had to pee, even when all she could produce was two drops. It was horrible and she was exhausted.
    "Is what we talked about any different?" Nancy asked as Megan shuffled into the kitchen. She needed coffee and fast.
    "I didn't wet again, if that's what you mean."
    "Then why the down face?"
    "The medication kept me up all night. I feel like….I feel bad, OK?"
    "Are you sure you are going to be able to work?"
    She let a loud yawn escape her. "I'll be fine, Mom."
    Josh reiterated the comment that she looked tired as she took her place behind the register. The day was a nightmare. She felt weak and sluggish the whole time. Additionally, she found herself having to use the bathroom more than usual. Vern got on her case and warned her to shape up fast…or else.
    "Megan?" Josh asked as their shift neared an end. "What is it? You can tell me."
    "Nothing," she grumbled. "Just stress stuff…. and I haven't been sleeping too well."
    "Maybe you should take a day or two off."
    "I can't. Vern will fire me."
    "Oh no he won't," Josh chuckled. "He knows that there's no one better who can work the hours you do. Besides, if he tried I wouldn't let him."
    "Thanks," she said.
    Just then, Vern emerged from his office. As usual, he was fuming mad. "Lousy no good punk kids! I just got finished reviewing the security tapes. These goddamn kids came in and wrecked everything. They tore open packages, knocked over inventory, and screwed the whole place up. Aisle Six is a mess. How come none of you noticed this?"
    "That's what the tapes are for, Vern," Josh replied. "Did you get a look at their faces at least?"
    "No," he snarled. "They all had their backs to the camera. One of them was wearing a hat, maybe blue or black. Arrrrrg…when I catch them…"
    Megan forced herself not to laugh at her boss's hysterics.
    "Make sure you clean up aisle six before you sign out," he said to her. Apparently, her sluggish performance throughout the day was quickly forgotten, easily replaced by an even bigger annoyance.
    Aisle Six, Megan realized with some degree of awe, was where the incontinence products were kept. There were boxes and packages askew and the floor was littered. An entire 20 ct package of disposable undergarments was ripped wide open and rendered unsellable. Megan sighed as she took it to the stockroom. Vern would tell her to tape it up and mark down the price, but it'd never sell. People would have to be stupid to buy anything with a broken package.
    She yawned again. She was so damn tired. The stupid medication would likely keep her up again all night. She'd almost rather have the wet bed than have to deal with that again.
    As she reached for the packing tape, Megan got an idea. She looked at the package, and paused. Doc Hardy had mentioned protection, but this? No way. Then again, she couldn't risk another day on the medication and these were going to get thrown out anyway. She reasoned that it was worth a try. Megan took two of the diapers and stuffed them into her bag. She then set the package aside so it would be there if she needed it.
    "Hope you feel better," Josh said to her on the way out.
    "I hope so too."
    Megan spent some time talking with her friends over the phone. They were urging her to move on, forget about Ted. Part of her knew they were right, but she just wasn't ready. They had been together for nearly three years and she simply couldn't latch onto a new guy right away. To make matters worse, she had refused Ted's offers of friendship after their relationship dissolved, leaving her with nothing. The thought that the bracelet he had gotten for her was now adorning some other girl's wrist made her wretch and tear all at once.
    That night, shortly before she went to sleep, Megan remembered the diapers in her purse. She had forgotten all about them and was about to forgo the whole thing and merely hope for the best in the days that followed. However, she knew that was too much to ask.
    Before she could put one of the diapers on, Carrie came a'knocking. She was able to wear a t-shirt and panties to bed and wake up dry. No diapers, no medication, no anything but pleasant dreams. Megan envied her that.
    "Hey," Megan greeted.
    "Are you OK, Meg? You've been acting really weird the past few days."
    "I'm fine," she answered almost instinctively. "Just stressed. You know, work. Worrying about my grades…"
    "Ted," she echoed, and then paused. "How did you find out about that?"
    "I heard some rumors floating around school," Carrie informed her. "Plus the walls are kinda thin."
    "It's OK," Megan assured her. "I'm OK with it."
    "It's not OK," Carrie answered. "Him dumping you like that. But you're probably better off"
    Megan burst out into uproarious laughter.
    "What's so funny?" Carrie asked.
    "My little sister is giving me dating advice."
    Carrie rolled her eyes. "Just trying to help."
    "Thanks. I appreciate it. But seriously…I'm fine."
    "OK. Just thought I'd ask."
    Megan continued to chuckle at her sister's attempts at supportiveness and sighed. All jokes aside, Carrie was probably right. She felt slightly guilty about not being able to tell her about her problem. After all, when Carrie got in trouble, it was often Megan whom she turned to first. Nonetheless, she was hesitant to repay the favor. She supposed her own desire for independence was making her stubborn and headstrong, just like Jess.
    She was not, however, too stubborn to do what needed to be done. Megan removed the brief (she found it easier to think of them as briefs and not diapers) from her bag and unfolded it. An alien garment nothing like her siblings' diapers that she had so often changed, it had four tapes as opposed to the conventional two. It was also almost entirely white, save for a blue stripe that ran down the center. The wetness indicator, Megan thought with sour veracity. She continued to explore the brief as if it were a newly discovered species. The inside was remarkably soft, the outside hard and plasticky. She wondered how it would feel on her skin. The brief carried with it a light scent of powder. Megan took comfort in knowing that if it did its job, at least she would not reek.
    Lying on her back, she wiggled out of her panties and set them aside. Her mother had replaced her egg crate pad, for which she was thankful, but she still did not feel at ease. Drawing in a deep breath, she slid the diaper under her. It was much less obtrusive than she expected and actually felt quite inviting. Holding the front of the diaper in place with one hand, she reached for the tapes with the other. She taped up one side first and then the other. Before she knew it, she had successfully diapered herself.
    Getting to sleep with the diaper on proved to be a challenge, as Meg was unaccustomed to having her legs forced apart and her butt supported by that much thickness. Eventually, after much tossing and turning, she flopped onto her belly and fell asleep.
    Rising the next morning, Megan looked at her alarm clock and did a double take. It was only 8 but it felt like at least 10. She supposed she had slept well and smiled. All that remained was to see was if the diaper did its job. Megan rolled around her bed, expecting to come in contact with a wet spot, but there were none. She glanced down at the crotch of her diaper and noted that the blue line had vanished. Curiously, she patted the front of the undergarment. It was soft and pliable, nearly squishy. As a last resort, she peeked inside.
    The inside of the brief was badly soaked and yellowed. Megan did not know how to feel. On the one hand, she did not like the fact that she had slept with her own urine trapped so close to her body. On the other hand, she had slept and her bed had been spared. Mission accomplished, she thought triumphantly.
    With her mother's footsteps quickly approaching, Megan ducked back under the covers.
    "Megan?" Nancy asked. "Any better this morning?"
    "Much," the girl answered.
    "I see your bed is dry. I guess the medication did its job."
    A"Yup," she fibbed and hoped her mom would leave it at that.
    B"Actually," she corrected, slowly peeling back the covers.

    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    "Actually," she corrected, slowly peeling back the covers.
    "Oh my," Nancy gasped. She had proudly referred to Megan as the least troublesome of her children. While Carrie associated with unsavory new friends, Stephen had his share of trouble in school and Jessica practically disowned her, Megan was in college and doing quite well. Her recent bout of bedwetting was a bit surprising, but to see her nineteen-year-old daughter in diapers was an absolute shock. She tried not to let her astonishment show. Megan needed her now. She had to remain supportive. "Well…that's one way of handling it…I suppose."
    Megan could see clearly that her mother was not OK with it. She lay back in bed, threw the sheets over her and pressed a pillow against her head.
    "Megan…" Nancy said gently.
    "What was I supposed to do?" she asked defensively. "I couldn't go another day on the medication. I just couldn't. And Dr. Hardy mentioned something about protection…"
    "Megan, I'm not mad at you. If this is how you choose to handle it, fine. I trust your decision."
    Megan sat up slowly and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Mom," she said, pushing her hair out of her eyes.
    "However, I do think it would be a good idea if you at least mentioned this to your father."
    "Because he has as much of a right to know what's going on as I do."
    "Fine. Just don't tell anyone else."
    Nancy made the gesture of sealing her lips and Megan nodded in approval. With renewed confidence, she climbed out of bed, showered and dressed for work. She was sure to bury the used diaper at the bottom of the garbage and spray the whole thing with an ample amount of Lysol. Having slept so well the night before, she didn't even need coffee.
    Bledsoe's Pharmacy was sparsely populated when Megan showed up for her shift. A young man in a suit eyed a watch in a display case with more than passing interest. An old lady was carefully combing through cartons of milk in the dairy case in search of the latest expiration date. An untidy queue formed behind the prescription counter and a frenzied Raul rushed to and fro to fill bottles and take orders. At 10 in the morning, business was hardly at its peak.
    Josh was assisting a clerk named Natalie at the register when Megan entered. His face registered a mixture of concern and surprise.
    "Wow," he exclaimed. "You look a hell of a lot better."
    Megan shrugged it off. "Must have been a 24 hour thing."
    "Vern wants to see you in the stockroom."
    She swallowed hard. Had he found the package of diapers and gotten suspicious? No way. It was impossible. And yet again… "What for?" she asked.
    "Go see for yourself."
    The burly manager was standing over several large cardboard boxes with an inventory sheet in his hand. Megan breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't found out after all.
    "These just came in today," he informed her. "Price em, count em, if there's any room, put them out. You know the drill."
    "Sure," she said. "No problem."
    "You can take the register after lunch…. IF all this is finished. I sure as hell hope its something we can sell otherwise those bastards at corporate are getting an earful!"
    Megan nodded. It was a familiar rant.
    "By the way," he said on his way out. "Don't think I forgot about yesterday."
    "I'm better now."
    Megan opened, emptied and sorted the contents of all the boxes. It wasn't the most exciting work in the world, but it kept her occupied. Occasionally, one of her coworkers would drop by the stockroom and they'd chat for a while. They asked her how she was doing, how she liked college, etc. They never asked about Ted, for which Megan was profoundly grateful. Forgetting him wasn't easy, but it would happen in time just as long as nothing came up to remind her.
    Unfortunately, her lunch break was punctuated with reminder after reminder. She went to a nearby fast food place to grab a salad and witnessed a young couple making out. Not only did they have their hands all over each other, but they talked and laugh as well. It made Megan feel both disgusted and jealous. She wanted to approach the girl and tell her to enjoy it while it lasted. To make matters worse, the guy behind the counter was one of Ted's friends. He couldn't even look her in the eye.
    There were customers waiting when Megan returned to work and she was in a rather foul mood. A woman chastised her for not double bagging. A man corrected her when she attempted to hand him the wrong brand of cigarettes. With each mistake she made, she felt closer to losing her mind.
    "Meg," Josh whispered, discretely tapping her on the shoulder after most of the customers had dispersed. She knew she was about to be yelled at, possible even fired. Josh was patient and congenial, but the fact remained that she had been screwing up.
    "What," she snapped.
    "Take it easy, OK," he suggested. "You need to slow down, keep your eyes on what you're doing."
    "Yeah. I know. Sorry."
    "You have definitely been acting strange lately," he commented.
    She sucked in her breath. "My boyfriend dumped me, OK? And I know I shouldn't be this upset about it, but I am."
    "Would this be the ubiquitous Ted?" Josh asked with a hint of disdain.
    Megan nodded. "Can we not talk about this now?"
    She buckled down and managed to make it through the rest of the day free of disaster. It was tough keeping her mind focused at all times, especially with Ted and her bedwetting looming like harbingers of a most unsavory future. Raul, whose cousin was dating Des, knew about the breakup and hadn't said two words about it. It seemed like everyone was able to get over it…except for her. Megan knew that at least part of her didn't want to.
    It was this latter intuition that led her to accept Josh's invitation to a cup of coffee after they got off work. They talked, mostly about her problems with Ted, but also about work and Josh's crazy uncle and anything else that came to mind. Megan came close to telling him about the bedwetting, but balked at the last minute. Overall, talking helped and she was able to go home without that sinking feeling.
    Entering her house was like stepping into a den of scorpions during mating season. Her parents had forbidden Carrie to go to the movies because they didn't trust her friends.
    "There is nothing wrong with them," she protested. "Besides, I'm old enough…."
    "You're 15!" Drew thundered. "And that's the end of it."
    "You let Megan go when she was my age. You let Jess go."
    Nancy frowned at the mention of her 'unfaithful' daughter. "That's quite enough," she reprimanded. "Unless you'd like to be grounded as well."
    Carrie reluctantly dropped the contention and retreated to her room, mumbling something about how unfair they were both being.
    "Hello Megan," Drew greeted. "Better day today?"
    She nodded. "What was that all about?"
    "Don't ask."
    "Also," Nancy interjected. "Stay away from your brother."
    "Why? What'd Steve do?"
    "Let's just say the Gunderson's cat is very lucky."
    "Oh," Megan replied and then shuddered.
    Dinner that night was a quiet, tense affair. Children and parents eyed each other distrustfully and Megan felt like a rag doll caught in the middle being pulled on by both sides. She managed to lighten the mood by rehashing some of the stories Josh told her about his uncle, but otherwise no one was feeling very amiable.
    Carrie again tried to broach the topic of the movies, but was quickly rebuffed.
    "It's not like I'm dating any of these guys," she said. "We're friends. We'll be going as a group."
    "What kind of a boy wears black lipstick?" Nancy remarked. "I don't like it one bit."
    "Now if they were a bit more like Ted," Drew began.
    Megan's face wrenched and tears nearly came to her eyes. Her father had always liked Ted and probably still did. Why couldn't the world let her forget about him?
    "What?" Drew asked, his brow furrowed in worrisome embarrassment. "What did I say?"
    Carrie rolled her eyes and Nancy whispered something into his ear.
    After a nearly chaotic dinner and a day that was stressful at best, Megan wanted nothing more than to go out. Unfortunately, Des with was her boyfriend and Sabrina was working the late shift. She nearly panicked and called Ted, hoping they'd be able to do something 'as friends,' but hung up at the last minute.
    "Come on," she said to her sister. "I'll take you to the movies myself."
    "Thanks, but that's OK," Carrie replied.
    "What's this?" Megan joked. "Do I embarrass you or something? Sheesh…. I'm supposed to be the embarrassed one."
    Carrie giggled. "No, it's not that."
    "OK, gotcha."
    Bored and restless, Megan went to tell her parents that she was going out. As she crept down the stairs, she could overhear them talking.
    "Well, what else is new?" Drew remarked.
    "This is about Megan," Nancy said.
    "Megan? What, was this that 'women's problem' you wouldn't tell me about the other day?"
    Megan froze. She was anxious to hear what they said about her.
    "Well, sort of…"
    "Christ, she's not pregnant, is she?"
    "God no!"
    "Well, Nancy, what…."
    "She's been wetting the bed," her mother said discretely.
    "Wetting the bed? Didn't we take care of this when she was younger?"
    "I thought so too, but now it's back. I took her to Tom Hardy and he can't find anything wrong with her. He thought it might be stress-related."
    "Stress? What does she have to be stressed about?"
    "Her boyfriend did recently break up with her."
    "I suppose that could be pretty rough on her. What else did Hardy say?"
    "He wrote her a prescription for something. But it made her very tired."
    "So that's why she was walking around like a zombie? Whew….for a minute there, I thought it might be dope."
    "No, dear."
    "She seemed fine this morning though."
    "That's because she didn't take the medication last night. She….tired something else."
    "Like what?"
    Nancy whispered something into his ear.
    "Diapers?!" he exclaimed. "My 19 year old daughter is in diapers?"
    "Not so loud!" she chastised.
    "This is a bit much to handle, Nanc."
    "I'm sure it's only temporary."
    "I sure hope so."
    "Drew, we have to support her on this."
    "Of course," he affirmed. "We're family."
    Disgusted with herself, Megan ran back to her room. Though he meant well, her father made it sound like she had some kind of fatal disease. And while she knew her parents would be there for her, she was also acutely aware of how her bedwetting made them feel.
    "Why can't this just go away?" she asked no one in particular.
    She no longer felt like going out. In fact, she wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed and disappear for about 10 hours. Begrudgingly, she opened her bag and removed her last diaper. Disgust poured through her as she examined the undergarment. Why did she ever think that this was OK? She then glanced over at the bottle of pills and quickly remembered. Well, there was no way she was going back on the medication. But did she really want to wear a diaper again? It was quite possible that the mysterious 'illness' had run its course. It was also possible that she could wake up in a river of her own pee. Megan groaned.
    AShe put the diaper back in the bag and hoped for the best. It was time to take back control of her life.
    BShe unfolded the diaper and lay back. Even though this was a tough time and she felt conflicted, she knew better than to let pride get in the way of her judgment.
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

  4. #4
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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    She unfolded the diaper and lay back. Even though this was a tough time and she felt conflicted, she knew better than to let pride get in the way of her judgment. Soon, the diaper was taped securely on her. She lay awake in bed for close to an hour pondering the complexities of her newly tumultuous life before succumbing to sleep once more.
    Megan had the day off from work and slept in late. It was a Friday and she hoped to bring closure to what had been a rough week. A disappointed groan escaped her when she discovered her diaper to be wet. The problem had not gone away as she had hoped. However, she though with a hint of relief, at least she was prepared for it.
    As she shuffled across her room, Megan became increasingly aware of the loud crinkling noises her diaper made. She knew it was only a matter of time before Carrie and Stephen found out and she made up her mind to tell them later. Pausing in front of the mirror, Megan curiously examined herself. The diaper might have been white, but unlike GoodNites, there was no mistaking in for underwear. It was bulky and obvious…. and yet strangely alluring.
    "I look like a dork," Megan remarked. "But cute. A cute dork."
    After showering and dressing for the day, Megan departed for the vast cornucopia of commercialism that was the mall. She still had her gift certificate and a little shopping was bound to put her in a better frame of mind. Besides, after the denim cutoffs she had on now, she hadn't any more shorts she felt comfortable wearing.
    Unburdened, Megan took her time browsing and trying things on before she got down to any serious shopping. She visited the sunglasses hut, the gourmet foods store and a plethora of other places with plenty of cool things to look at that were overpriced and served little practical purpose. Lastly, she stopped by Victoria's Secret. She knew that if she were to be looking for dates again (which she soon would be), she needed to be able to get a guy's attention. And while she could be perfectly charming and sweet, the fact remained that nothing beat a peek at a very sexy pair of panties.
    As she browsed, Megan's cell phone began to ring. She quickly picked up without bothering to look at the number.
    "Hey. It's Kylie."
    "Hey!" Megan was overjoyed to hear from her college roommate. If there was anyone who could bring a balanced perspective to her recent crises, it was outgoing, open-minded, big-hearted Kylie Simmons. "What's up girl?"
    "Not too much. I'm at home, which sucks, but I'll find a way to keep myself busy sooner or later. How about you? How's your summer been?"
    "Good," Megan said after a moment's hesitation. It really had been anything but, but 'good' was the first word that came to mind. "I guess," she added as an afterthought.
    "Well, OK, not good. But it's kind of a long story."
    "Well, tell me later."
    "Will do."
    "So anyway…I'm dying without you, babe. You've got to come and rescue me from this boredom."
    Megan chuckled. "You're bored? You live on a lake. I work in a freakin pharmacy."
    "Trust me, the lake isn't nearly as cool as you think."
    "Well don't you worry. I'll be down to see you soon enough."
    "Take care, Ky."
    "You too, Meg."
    Megan put the phone down and resumed browsing. It was good to hear from Kylie once again. Even though their conversation was brief, it gave Megan something to think about. She had been doing a lot of complaining lately…over what? Kylie lived practically in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and still managed to remain at least somewhat upbeat. If Kylie could do that, why couldn't she?
    "Megan!" a voice exclaimed and she felt her heart leap into her throat. Looking around, she couldn't find the person who had called her. She was confused until she saw a group of girls about three feet ahead of her.
    The Megan that was being addressed was Meghan Cole. An exceedingly beautiful, exceedingly popular and, on occasion, exceedingly stuck up girl, Megan could not stand her all throughout high school. Meghan Cole seemed to her like the fabled Girl Who Had it All: straight blonde locks, practically a size zero waist, loved and adored by almost everyone. Though she was never outright mean to her, Cole nonetheless made Megan feel inadequate. She came to think of herself as the 'other' Megan and seemed woefully average in comparison. And while college had allowed her to grow and thrive as her own person, merely seeing Cole and her lackeys once more brought back those feelings of inadequacy almost instantly.
    Megan pretended notice to notice them as she continued shopping. She suddenly didn't like the thong she held in her hand very much: it seemed like it would look so much better on Cole. What was she even doing here anyway? It wasn't like getting a new pair of panties could make her forget all her troubles.
    "Hey Megan!" one of the girls called in an aggravating lilt. This time, they were talking to her.
    "Oh. Hey," Megan called back, feigning disinterest. She had a sinking suspicion they were gossiping about her. In fact, she could almost see one of them mouth the word 'Ted' as she whispered it to Meghan. Suddenly, she got the revolting image of her and Ted together. It wouldn't happen, of course (even a great guy like Ted was probably below her standards), but it was horrifying just the same.
    "I'm sorry to hear about you and Ted," Cole said with a hint of condescension.
    "That's OK," she replied, choking down her own indignation.
    "Well…better luck next time."
    The girls around her began to giggle and Megan had had enough. That was it! She threw down everything she had in her hands and walked angrily away. Huffing, she would not give them the pleasure of seeing her this upset. It seemed like way too much grief for her to be having over a two-minute encounter, but some things never change.
    Megan became aware that someone was following her as she put distance between herself and Victoria's Secret. When at last she sat down on a bench, her pursuer caught up with her. He had red hair and wore a Baskin Robbins uniform. His nametag identified him as TONY.
    "What?!" she snapped, not very much caring that she was being quite rude. In fact, she had been behaving rudely a lot lately. It seemed every time someone even as much as mentioned Ted, she adopted this hyper-defensive air about her. She knew she needed to cut it out, but it was easier said than done.
    "You, um, dropped this," he said hesitantly and presented her with her purse.
    "Oh. God," Megan stammered, appearing very flustered. It was stupid of her to go storming out like that. What if she had left it there and TONY hadn't come along to retrieve it for her? "Well…thanks. I hope I didn't lose anything."
    "I don't think so," Tony replied.
    In addition to the safe return of her purse, Megan was relieved that she had used the last of her diapers that morning. Otherwise, Tony might have received quite a surprise when he stumbled upon her purse.
    Whilst she combed through it to make sure everything was intact, Tony tore off a coupon from a sheet and handed it to her.
    "For a free sundae," he explained. "You look like you can use one."
    "Thanks," Megan answered, grinning. It might have meant nothing, but if a guy offered her a sundae, it was a good sign he didn't think she was fat. That was all she needed to forget Meghan Cole and her bulimia-starved modelesque frame.
    Tony meandered back to work and Megan peeled herself off the bench. The day was young and she could salvage it yet. She concluded her window browsing and did some actual shopping, opting for cheap and comfortable over sexy and stylish. With the gift certificate and the cash she had on her, she was able to acquire panties, bras, socks, shorts, a t-shirt and a new tanktop. She even found a pair of shoes she liked on sale. All and all, she was happy with what she bought and it got her mind off of all that plagued her.
    Megan was also aware that she needed more diapers, but she didn't think it wise to get them here. Instead, she would simply stop by Bledsoe's later and get them from her package in the stockroom. In the meantime, she helped herself to Tony's generosity and a free sundae. It was quite yummy and she enjoyed every bite of it. She didn't even mind that she got chocolate sauce on her chin. That she made such a mess made her feel like a little kid again, and that made her feel strangely contented.
    Before leaving the mall, Megan called Sabrina and left her a message about going out later. She then switched her phone off for the drive home and left the mall parking lot in her dust. With the radio on and the windows open, Megan began to relax and let the wind blow her hair around. It was stupid of her to get so upset over Meghan Cole. After all, she had the bigger boobs, the bigger ass, the more sincere friends and she could eat more than a grape and still feel fine. Plus, she thought with a malevolent giggle, she was pretty sure she could kick Cole's ass if that's what it ever came to.
    For the third day in a row, Josh expressed surprise at Meg's arrival.
    "You know, you have today off," he reminded her.
    "I know," she answered. "I just came by to check on something. Besides, can't a girl shop?"
    Josh nodded and gave her the OK sign as she walked towards the stockroom. The package of diapers was just where she left them. This time, however, she knew she would need them. She crammed as many as she could into her purse and figured she would come back for the rest.
    Raul approached her as she left the stockroom and scared her half to death.
    "Jesus!" she remarked.
    "You know, my cousin scored with your friend," he smarmily remarked. "He was banging her all night long."
    "I'm sure Des would love to know that you are talking about her like that," Megan told him.
    Raul shrugged. "Just going by what Pedro told me. Hey, you find a new guy yet?"
    "No," Megan replied indignantly.
    "You will though," Raul assured me. "You look good. I mean, you're not for me, but I can see a lot of guys going for you real easy."
    "Raul!" Vern thundered.
    "Shit, gotta go."
    Megan watched as he practically sprinted behind the pharmacy counter and made it without falling. She giggled. Raul was such a goof.
    As she stepped out into the parking lot, Megan checked her phone to see if Sabrina had returned her call yet. She did indeed have a phone message and listened eagerly. She was so surprised that she nearly dropped the phone. Everything around her seemed to spin. The message was from Ted.
    He seemed a touch on the morose side, but there was no mistaking that voice.
    "Hey, Meg, "the message began. "It's me. I hope you're not still pissed at me, because I miss you. I was hoping we could get together and talk. Just talk. If you don't want to, that's OK, but I'm hoping you'll say yes. Cya."
    Struck with disbelief, Megan played the message twice more. She had been racked with all these miserable emotions over the last few days and yet he was the one to call. It would be very simple to go back to him and try to forget their breakup ever happened. However, she wasn't sure that was the right thing to do. He cheated and she was no doormat. She should probably delete the message and let HIM suffer…. for a few days at least. But she missed being with him soo much! Then again, the message said he only wanted to talk. But Megan knew well enough how to get him from talking to doing something else in a fairly short enough of time.
    She wrestled with the decision for a good five minutes, pacing two and fro, huffing and puffing and hemming and hawing until Josh came out to tell her to stop or take it elsewhere (she was scaring the customers). At long last, she made up her mind.
    AMegan decided to give Ted a call. She waited long enough.
    BMegan deleted the message and thought no more of it. It was time to move on.
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

  5. #5
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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    Megan decided to give Ted a call. She waited long enough. He seemed relieved to hear the sound of her voice, as was she to hear his. Did she miss him? Yes, she supposed she did. Would they want to get together later? Sure, why not? How were things otherwise? Fine. OK, goodbye. It was possibly the most duplicitous conversation Megan ever had in her life, but she was so happy she could barely stand it.
    At home, she called Sabrina to tell her of the news. Her friend promptly advised against trying to get back together with Ted.
    "You don't understand what this week has been like for me," Megan said after hearing all of her arguments.
    "But is all that over Ted?"
    "No, there's something else, but…. never mind. Look, I want this, OK?"
    "How do you know he does?"
    "He said he wanted to talk. Since when do guys ever just want to talk?"
    "Yeah, you've got a point there. But he did cheat on you. How can you trust him?"
    "I can't. And I don't even know if we're getting back together or what. I just want to see him again. Is that a crime?!"
    "No. But you need to chill."
    "Sorry, I've been bitching at everyone lately."
    "But we still love you for it. Peace out, Meg."
    Megan spent the next hour or two in jubilant isolation. She was able to block out the sounds of Carrie and Stephen's bickering as they came home from school. She paid no heed to her eccentric neighbors' blasting of Jethro Tull. She didn't even notice when her parents came home from work.
    "You're looking cheerful today, Meg," Drew remarked over dinner.
    Megan shrugged and smiled. "Um, I went shopping."
    "I'm glad you made such nice use of our gift," said Nancy.
    "Are we going to visit Grandma and Grandpa this week?" Carrie asked.
    "No, next week," Nancy informed her. "But don't think about going anywhere until you get your studying done."
    "Finals aren't for another two weeks!" Carrie protested.
    "All the more reason to start studying now," Drew commented. "Same for you, Steve."
    "But I don't even HAVE finals," he complained.
    "Just the same, I don't want you and Billy torturing anymore poor defenseless animals this weekend," Nancy pronounced.
    Megan breathed a sigh of relief. She seemed her old self again: grounded, pleasant and trouble-free.
    Before heading out that night, Megan showered and changed into what she considered to be one of her sexiest outfits. She wore a purple velvet top and a pair of tight black pants. Combined with heels and the way she did her hair, even if Ted DIDN'T want to get back together, he'd probably change his mind once he saw her. She drew strange glances from her parents and a compliment from her sister as she glided out the door en route to her rendezvous.
    Ted was shocked to say the least. He had on only jeans and a gray knit shirt with his college's name whereas Megan looked ready to go clubbing. He felt almost embarrassed as he led her to the 'lounge' in his basement and offered her a drink. As he fetched her a ginger ale, she admired the way his butt looked in those jeans and smiled. She had him right where she wanted him and unless he said something profoundly stupid, she was more than willing to forgive and forget.
    He returned with her drink and they sat on the couch and talked. Mindful of what she was doing, Megan moved closer to him an inch at a time. He did not push her away, but he made no effort to return the favor. Most of what they talked about had little to do with their relationship and Megan found herself lying on more than one occasion. She neglected to tell him about her bedwetting, for instance, but reasoned that such an omission was harmless. If she had been with someone else (which, thankfully, she hadn't), she would have told him.
    Megan liked being with Ted. She liked how he made her laugh and how he made her feel more than just average. She liked him enough to forgive him and enough to realize that he had been right: distance put too much of a strain on their relationship. Even if they only spent the rest of the summer together, she felt she could be happy with that. As she sat with her head on his shoulder and her hands on his strong, muscular legs she began to let go all the demons of worriment that had been visited upon her this past week. She also began to notice that he was not touching her.
    Ted sighed and gently removed her hands from his body. His face was contorted with conflict as he broke the news. "Megan," he began. "I started seeing someone else."
    Someone else? Alarm bells went off inside Megan's head and she thought she would flip out again. However, she made that mistake once and knew she didn't want to lose him forever. She forced herself be calm. She even managed a smile.
    "Oh. OK. I mean…that's great. Who is it?"
    "You don't know her," Ted explained. "I met her at college."
    "Was she…."
    He rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't cheat on you with her. That girl was a total whore. Anna is special."
    "Yeah, I'll bet."
    He gently touched her chin. "But, so are you. Which is why I want us to still be friends."
    Megan shrugged. She had psyched herself out to the point where she didn't feel anything anymore. "OK."
    "You're sure? Last time I mentioned this, I flipped out."
    "Actually," she lied. "This works out great. Because I have my eye on someone else too."
    "Yeah? Who?"
    She hadn't time to fabricate anyone on the spur of a moment, so she offered the name of the first guy who came to mind. "Josh," she declared.
    Ted chuckled. "Josh? Josh from the pharmacy?"
    "You know I don't like to judge people, but that guy is a dork."
    "You don't know him," she argued, mentally kicking herself for picking Josh of all people.
    "Well, I'm glad we're still friends. Chicks are a mystery to me and it helps to have one on my side."
    Megan nodded. After days of grieving and torment, how come she was able to let this go so easily? She stayed awhile longer and they talked some more. He did give her a kiss goodnight just before she left, but it was quick and emotionless.
    During the drive home, Megan began not to feel well. Oddly enough, she wasn't even thinking about Ted. She was thinking about ice cream. Whether that was the cause or not, she began to feel sick. Stomach cramps hit her heard, but she also began to feel dizzy. She knew she better get home…quick.
    Megan didn't even see the light turn red as she struggled to get control over herself. Another car stopped short, an inch from her door and she snapped to attention. Practically jumping on the brake, she came to a screeching halt in the middle of an intersection. Her head was swimming as she looked around. Angry drivers shook their fists and honked their horns.
    "Move it, ya dumb bitch!" one shouted at her.
    "SHUT UP!" Megan yelled, putting her hands over her ears. "EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP!"
    She sat like that for close to a minute, blocking out all the noise, all the distractions. Finally, she took a deep breath and went on her way.
    By the time Megan arrived home, she thought the worst had passed. However, she had taken only two steps from her car when she vomited. That was the final straw and she began to wail chaotically. Her parents rushed outside to see what the commotion was about and found her standing in front of the house sobbing, the car parked crookedly, vomit on her shirt and tears streaming from her eyes.
    "What happened?" Nancy asked.
    Megan merely stood there and shook her head.
    "Let's get her inside," Drew suggested.
    With the help of her parents, she shuffled into the house and practically collapsed onto the couch. Drew elevated her feet and fetched a cold compress while Nancy attempted to decipher the cause of the problem.
    "I I'm…O…OK," Megan stammered.
    "Cool!" Stephen exclaimed. "Megan's gone postal!"
    "You go your room, Steve!" Drew snapped. "You too, Carrie."
    "Should we take her to the hospital?" Nancy asked.
    Megan shook her head and Drew followed suit. Eventually, she calmed down enough to tell them what had happened.
    "I don't know too much about these kinds of things," said Drew. "But it sounds to me like a panic attack."
    "Oh dear!" Nancy exclaimed.
    "I'm going to give Tom Hardy a call," said Drew. "See if you can help her."
    Nancy nodded.
    "I think I wet my pants," Megan said sheepishly.
    "That's OK," Nancy assured her. "I'm just glad you aren't hurt."
    With her mother's help Megan slowly got up off the couch and made her way into the bathroom. She stopped by the toilet, sure that she would vomit again, but nothing came up. Nancy helped her undress and got the water running in the shower.
    "Wear do you keep your diapers?" she asked.
    "In my purse. Why?"
    "I think it would be best if you wore one for now."
    Megan wasn't going to argue that one. She was a mess and she still felt sick. Nancy left her to shower and Megan stood under the water until she was satisfied she no longer smelled of urine or vomit. She then stepped out, dried herself off with a fluffy towel and put on the robe her mother left for her. She remembered to put on the diaper.
    When Megan emerged from the bathroom, her parents eyed her with concerned curiosity.
    "I just got off the phone with Dr. Hardy," Drew explained. "He said, it was probably a panic attack in conjunction with an upset stomach."
    "Well, I did have a sundae earlier," Meg confessed.
    "Anyway, drink lots of fluids and get some rest."
    Megan nodded. She felt like going to sleep anyway.
    "Wasn't there something else?" Nancy asked.
    "He also gave me the name of a counselor," Drew continued.
    "I don't need a shrink," Megan asserted.
    "She's not a shrink. Well…not in the traditional sense, from what I can gather."
    "Megan, I think it would be best if you talked to her on Monday," said Nancy. "I'll call the pharmacy and tell them that you're sick."
    Megan giggled.
    "What's so funny?" Nancy asked.
    "You're telling a pharmacy that I'm sick."
    Sick she was and still felt as she slowly walked towards her room and climbed into bed. It was not long before she fell asleep.
    Megan awoke the next morning with a growling stomach and a soaked diaper. Neither were signs that she was well. She felt lightheaded and weak. A glance at her alarm clock revealed that she slept 12 hours. She felt as if she could sleep about 12 more.
    Groaning, she slowly sat up. Her limbs felt like dead weight and she had to take everything in steps. Her diaper clung uncomfortably to her. Megan knew it would be a pain to get changed and cleaned up.
    She was nearly out of bed when Nancy arrived, plastic bag in hand.
    "How are you feeling?"
    "Better, Mom," she replied. Her voice sounded hoarse and strained.
    "You don't sound better. And you look pale."
    "It's because I haven't eaten anything."
    Nancy presented her with a bottle of water from the bag and Megan began to drink it.
    "How's your diaper?"
    She nearly spit out the water at the mention of the word diaper.
    "I need to change," she quietly revealed.
    "Well, let me help you with that."
    "Mom," Megan protested. "I can do it myself."
    "I'm sure you can," Nancy reasoned. "But you are sick so I am going to help you. Besides, I don't want you leaking and making a mess."
    Megan nodded. Her diaper was a lot more bloated than usual and, despite the embarrassment; she could actually use the help.
    The plastic bag Nancy brought contained a fresh package of diapers.
    "Don't worry," Nancy explained. "I didn't get them at Bledsoe's."
    Megan breathed a sigh of relief and allowed her mother to change her. As uncomfortable as she was with it, she was too fatigued to protest. Besides, it wasn't like anyone would ever know.
    "I never envisioned having to do this again," Nancy commented, sliding a fresh diaper under her.
    Her comments did nothing to make Megan feel more at ease. Megan did, however, notice that her mother used baby powder while diapering her. While the smell was strong, it wasn't unpleasant and it would probably be better for her skin. How come she never thought of that?
    "You can help yourself to some dry cereal when you're ready," Nancy addressed. "In the meantime, try to rest and take it easy."
    "Thanks. But I've been resting."
    Megan tried desperately to get comfortable and fall asleep once more, but it was no use. She was up, so she might as well make the most of it. Climbing out of bed the second time around proved to be quite a bit easier and she eventually made her way out of her room.
    "Hey Meg," Carrie greeted.
    "Good morning…. or afternoon…or whatever," Megan replied. It was only then that she realized the bottom of her robe was open and her diaper was showing. Blushing, she quickly attempted to close it.
    "It's OK," Carrie assured her. "I know about your…er…problem. You could have told me, you know."
    "It's embarrassing," Meg remarked as she went to get some cereal.
    Lacking the strength to go anywhere or ever get dressed, Megan found a big comfy chair and turned on the TV. The only thing on that was even remotely interesting was children's' cartoons. She sat and watched and even found herself laughing hysterically at the hijacks of Roadrunner and Wily E. Coyote even though she had seen them many times as a child.
    Eventually, her appetite and a bit of her strength returned and Megan helped herself to something more to eat. This proved to be a mistake, as she found herself rushing constantly to and from the bathroom to avoid the indignation of soiling herself…even though she was already wearing a diaper. Exhausted once more, she finally returned to bed and read for a while before dozing off once more.
    Somewhere between consciousness and dreams, a sharp cramp hit. Megan did not awake at first, as she mistook the seismic pounding in her abdomen as merely another part of dream. When she finally did wake up, she found herself in desperate need of a bathroom. She leaned over the side of her bed, wretched, and dry-heaved. Before she could move any further, she filled her diaper.
    "Ewww gross!" she exclaimed.
    Nancy happened to pick that moment to check on her. She was surprised that Megan could simply lose control by that, but chalked it up to her being sick and helped get her cleaned up. Megan was embarrassed half to death (and so was she for that matter), but they got through it. Megan drank some more water, ate the crackers her mother offered her and went back to sleep once more.
    Day passed into night and night became day once more. Megan woke up feeling profoundly improved. Her diaper was wet and she was still a bit sluggish, but her stomach felt fine and she could move about much more easily. 'Relieved' was an understatement; she felt nearly reborn as she showered and changed. Before long, she was dressed and on the phone with her friends telling them what happened. Apparently, some kind of crazy rumor had circulated that she was actually involved in a car accident (as opposed to a near accident) or had suffered a mental breakdown (as opposed to a near breakdown).
    "I called yesterday and your mom picked up and said you were sick," Des told her.
    "I WAS sick," Megan answered.
    "But you're better now?"
    "Yeah. At least I hope I am."
    "Cool. You know the pool's gonna be open in a few days, right?"
    "Yup yup. I can't wait."
    "Me neither. You take care now…. and tell Raul to keep out of his cousin's and my business."
    Megan giggled and hung up. Her brother was standing before her with a slightly guilty expression on his face.
    "Hi Meg," he said.
    "Hi Steve."
    "Are you feeling better?"
    "Yes, thanks."
    "I'm sorry I made fun of you for having to wear diapers."
    "You didn't make fun of me."
    "Yes I did," Stephen told her. "While you were asleep."
    Megan's face soured. "Oh."
    "Anyway, I shouldn't have done it and I'm glad you're OK."
    The entire family seemed to echo Stephen's sentiments. Megan had gone from the background to the spotlight and all it took was a little illness and a near-psychotic episode. She assured everyone that she was fine, that the worst of it was over, and that the days to follow would be far less screwed up.
    Despite these assurances, her mother still tried to persuade her to wear a diaper.
    "Just to be on the safe side," Nancy discretely explained.
    Megan wasn't too thrilled, but she didn't see the harm in it. Besides, her entire family already knew that she wore them and she had embarrassed herself plenty the day before. At least she could resume the duties of changing herself once more.
    Her day was on the upswing and her weekend was close to being salvaged when things ground to a halt. Without warning, Ted showed up. Nancy wasn't thrilled to see him (she blamed him at least partially for Megan's episode), but let him in nonetheless.
    After all the grief she had been through over Ted, Megan did not want to see him. She had physically recovered, but she still felt somewhat vulnerable. And while he had seen her sick plenty of times throughout the course of their relationship, she nonetheless didn't want him to see her in a diaper. Since there was no time to change, she merely hoped he wouldn't notice.
    Ted was almost overbearingly apologetic at first.
    "Jeez I'm so sorry," he remarked, placing his hands upon her shoulders. Megan felt that he should be sorry, but said nothing. "This is totally my fault."
    Megan shook her head. She couldn't pin this entirely on him. Some, if not most, of it, was her doing. "I shouldn't have…. I mean…. Christ, Ted, I could have killed someone the way I was driving."
    "But you made it home and that's what counts."
    "Still, I probably should have known something was wrong."
    "Let it go, Ted, just let it go."
    He did and so did she. They talked for a while and inevitably Ted's new girlfriend crept her way into the conversation. Megan felt queasy at the very mention of her, but kept her mouth shut. It wasn't Ted's fault that he was somehow making her sick. After all, he was nice enough to visit and nice enough to be her friend. Ugh, maybe she was better off not knowing him.
    Ted's visit threw Megan's mood for a loop. She was sour and irritable for the rest of the day and kept mostly to herself. Her bed, which had been like a prison during her illness, was once again a source of comfort as she lay down and pounded the pillows in frustration. She eventually grabbed a pen and paper and tried to write out some of what she was feeling, but it did her no good.
    "Stupid Ted," she thought. "Hate him. Or do I hate me? Hate this fucking life, that's for sure. Why can't things be like they were last summer?"
    She yawned and stretched. It seemed as if she was always tired lately. Sleeping and wetting her diaper were the only constants in her life. Maybe her parents were right. Maybe she did need to talk to a shri…er…counselor.
    The day that followed was much of the same. Megan woke up wet, sighed and changed. She called Bledsoe's to let them know she would in fact be coming in that day. Josh was relieved to hear that she was feeling better and scheduled her for the later afternoon-evening shift. Nancy had gone into work already, but she left Megan a note with the name of the counselor and how to reach her office. Megan examined it curiously for a moment and opted to….
    ADiscard it. She seemed better now.
    BGive her a call. It couldn't hurt and she needed some answers.
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

  6. #6
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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    Megan examined it curiously for a moment and opted to give her a call. It couldn't hurt and she needed some answers. A receptionist politely asked her to hold and then informed her that the counselor had been expecting her call. Megan asked if she could come in around noon. The receptionist told her noon was fine. The call was quick, painless and gave her hope.
    At five minutes after noon, Megan found herself sitting in the counselor's office. It wasn't a typical office nor was it what she expected a psychiatrist's office to look like. There was a couch, but there were also chairs and a table. There were lots of books and paintings on the wall. The carpeting was thick and the room bright even with the shades drawn closed.
    The counselor herself also defied Megan's expectations. Helen Schreiber was about 50 with gray hair tucked in a neat bun. She wore large, horn-rimmed glasses and an unpretentious pleated skirt. Megan thought she looked more like a librarian than a psychiatrist.
    "Megan. Welcome," she greeted warmly.
    Megan hesitantly sat down in one of the chairs and sighed. She was still very uneasy about being there. She was the last person she ever excited to need any form of therapy or counseling.
    "It's OK," Helen assured her. "I don't bite."
    Megan nodded. She'd heard that one before.
    "Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?"
    "Um…. I'm 19. I go to college. I work at a pharmacy. You talked to my parents, so you obviously know what's up. That's about it."
    "Well then…. I'll tell you a bit about myself. I have a master's in psychology and another in education. I taught first grade for many years, as well as a few classes on the college level and almost all areas in between. I've been doing counseling for about five years."
    "Great," Megan remarked cynically. "Good for you."
    Helen smiled humbly. "I've had my moments."
    "So how does this work?" Megan asked.
    "Essentially, you talk and I listen."
    "That's it?"
    "Yes, dear. I may ask you a few questions along the way to help get you going, but otherwise the time is yours."
    "And that really works?"
    "Mmm..hmm. Everything said here is kept in strict confidentiality, of course."
    "Of course," Megan echoed. Despite her doubts, she was starting to like this woman's approach.
    "Is there anything you'd like to begin with?"
    "Well…um…OK," Megan started. "There's this guy…."
    She went on to give a comprehensive history of her relationship with Ted, up to and including the present. There were a few rough spots that nearly brought her to tears, but she kept herself composed and made it through it all.
    "…And every time someone even mentions him, I get all defensive. I've been acting very bitchy lately. But I don't think it's just that. Is it?"
    Helen shrugged. "Why don't you tell me?"
    "Well…" she began, and then stopped. Talking to Dr. Hardy about her bedwetting was one thing. She had known him her own life. Telling this complete stranger was something else entirely. Sure, it was possible that her parents already mentioned it. But that didn't mean she had to. "I've been…um…"
    "It's OK. Go ahead. No one is judging here."
    "…Sort of wetting the bed lately," Megan concluded. "Dr. Hardy says it might have been stress and I wasn't getting enough sleep, but I've been getting a lot of sleep lately and it's still happening. I don't get it."
    "Had there been anything else to stand out?"
    "Probably. But my brain is so frazzled that I can barely think."
    "Why don't you take me through the chain of events on the day leading up to the attack?"
    Megan took a deep breath. "OK. I can do that."
    When she finished explaining, she put her hands on her head and pulled at her hair. Helen glanced at her and smiled.
    "What?" Megan asked. "Am I crazy?"
    The counselor giggled. "No. Not at all. Even though 'crazy' is a made up term, I'd still say you weren't. In fact, I'd say you are a very healthy sensitive, alert young woman."
    Megan blushed ever so slightly. "Oh. Thanks. Then why don't I feel like that?"
    "You're regressing," Helen explained.
    "You're relationship with Ted, you're feelings towards home, all of that changed when you went to college."
    "But I LIKED college," Megan protested.
    "I'm sure that you do. But you also liked the way things were before you left…and think that you still do. It's conflict: on the one hand, you want to grow and move on, but on the other hand, you wished things remained the same. College satisfied one desire, but placed a nearly impossible burden upon the other."
    Megan nodded emphatically. That seemed to make perfect sense. In her dreams, everything was as it was. Just yesterday, she found herself wishing things could stay the same.
    "As a result of this inner struggle, you've begun to identify more with your past self in an effort to overcome the burden. Wetting the bed. Lapping up ice cream. Watching cartoons. All of these are things you did as a child."
    "Yeah…you're right," Meg remarked. She didn't know what to make of all this.
    "Ted is a source of grief for you because he represents both the past and the present. He WAS your boyfriend, he IS your friend. When you tried to show affection and win him back, you were identifying with the past. When you tried to accept his friendship or even push away, you were identifying with the present. You are, my dear, quite sadly torn between the two."
    "So how do I stop it?" Megan asked pleadingly.
    "I'd imagine it'd correct itself in time. This regression….it's just a way of coping with the adjustment your life is undergoing. As soon as you either overcome your internal fear that the past will be lost or come to more readily accept and desire the present, the behavior will likely stop. My guess is you'll find yourself in a much more comfortable state of being when you go back to college."
    "Ugh, I can't wait that long," Meg complained. "What am I going to do until then?"
    "You'll continue to regress, I'd imagine."
    "But I don't want to…at least…. I don't think I don't."
    "There's no harm in it, really. So maybe you find yourself playing with dolls one day or watching old home movies or things like that. Would that be the worst thing in the world, Megan?"
    "No, but…"
    "You're saying it's OK to keep doing this?"
    "Within reason…absolutely."
    Megan breathed a sigh of relief and Helen grinned. "Now was that so hard?" Megan returned the smile and shook her head.
    After the appointment ended, Megan still had time to kill before going to work. She found herself looking through old photos, just as Helen said she would. While some of them had embarrassed her in the past, she now found them to be quite endearing. She found pictures of Mom and Dad and Carrie and Stephen. There were even some of Jess at her age. The resemblance was striking.
    Lastly, Megan came across her own photos. There were pictures of her and Ted at the prom, her senior class photo, etc. There was at least one from each year of her life. She noticed that she seemed a whole lot happier in the older photos. She seemed cuter too, but then again, what kid isn't cute? Nonetheless, Megan the moody 19 year old found herself almost envious of Megan the grinning toddler. Perhaps Helen was right. Perhaps she really did want to identify with her past self.
    The counselor's words were on her mind all throughout her shift at work, but she managed to stay focused long enough to avoid Vern's wrath. It was just as well, for he spent close to half an hour trying to appease an upset customer and was no more than a tick removed from fully psychotic rage in the period of time that followed. Even Josh seemed a little bit frazzled.
    "What's with him?" she asked Natalie.
    "I don't know," the squeaky-voiced cashier replied. "I guess he's, like, having a rough day."
    Megan nodded. She knew what those were like.
    Eventually, tensions cooled and the flow of customers petered out. Megan was relieved not to have to sneak any more diapers from the stockroom; it was getting to be a risky habit. Josh, who barely had a free moment to talk the whole day, expressed his relief at her speedy recovery.
    "What happened?" Natalie asked.
    "Panic attack," Megan explained. "While I was driving."
    "Oh wow. Glad you're OK."
    "I keep telling her to take time off," Josh joked. "But she keeps coming back."
    "Raul!" Vern thundered from the back of the store.
    Megan chuckled. There was one thing that would never change.
    The sun had set by the time she got home. Carrie was on the phone in her room and Stephen was hacking away at his GameCube. Megan found her parents in front of the TV.
    "Hi honey," Nancy greeted. "There's some lasagna in the fridge."
    Megan took her time eating (it was good lasagna) before rejoining her parents. They wanted to know if she had gone to see the counselor. Megan told them she had.
    "And what did she have to say?" Drew asked.
    "That's confidential," Megan explained.
    "Well…was she helpful at least?"
    "Yeah…I think so."
    "That's such a relief," Nancy told her.
    "Did she ask that you do anything?" Drew questioned.
    "Kind of."
    "Well…whatever it is, if there's any way we can help…"
    Megan tensed up. She knew there was a way they could help. She knew it ever since she saw the pictures. And while she had tossed the idea around in her head and dismissed it a zillion times, it kept popping up.
    "Megan?" Nancy asked.
    A)"Nothing," the girl replied. She wasn't even sure it was what she wanted and she definitely wasn't ready to discuss it yet.
    B) "Mom, Dad," she began, drawing in a deep breath. "I want you to treat me like I'm little again."
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

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    "Nothing," the girl replied. She wasn't even sure it was what she wanted and she definitely wasn't ready to discuss it yet. Her parents were willing to let her drop the subject and she breathed a sigh of relief. She came hazardously close to embarrassing herself and making what was probably a big mistake.
    Megan watched TV for a while and tried to relax. Reality shows had been one of her major vices during her first semester at college, but the proliferation of them made them seem dull and repetitive. She and Kylie discussed taking the hosts of all the shows and sticking them in a remote location.
    "Simon Cowell would win," Kylie affirmed.
    "Are you crazy? He'd be the first one they got rid of. Besides, Jeff Probst could kick his ass."
    "People fear Simon. And they need him. As much as we don't want to admit it, we wouldn't get by without telling us what we did wrong."
    Thinking back to that conversation, Megan now believed that to be truer than ever. Everyone had been so damn supportive lately that the only critic she had left to face was herself. Without a doubt, she found herself to be toughest of all.
    When she at last grew tired, Megan bid her parents goodnight and retreated to her room to put on her diaper. The powder helped significantly with the comfort level and Megan had now adjusted entirely to sleeping with the thick bulk between her legs. She was getting used to diapers the way some people get used to braces: you never really like them, but you need them and they become a part of you. It was a part she was coming to accept…for the time being at least.
    As she drifted off to a slow, dreamless sleep, the counselor's words resonated in her mind. There was a civil war in the House of Meg. Past was competing with present and until they learned how to get along, it would be rough going. Megan hoped it wouldn't last long.
    Though her week was a roller coaster ride of emotional highs and lows, Megan followed much the same routine. Every day began with a wet diaper for her to change out of. On mornings where she didn't have to work, she found herself leaving the diaper on a little longer before showering. Work at the pharmacy was business as usual. There was a pretty steady stream of customers and a seemingly endless list of random tasks. She had learned to block out most of Vern's tirades and found herself becoming much friendlier towards Josh, Natalie, Raul and the rest of her coworkers. They had even been out to dinner as a group once or twice.
    When Megan wasn't working, she balanced time with her friends with more introspective activities such as reading and writing in a journal. Her siblings occasionally enlisted her to help with a tough homework assignment and more times than not, she obliged. She had not seen Ted. There had been a few phone conversations, some productive, others clearly not. While she would not own up to avoiding him, Megan provided herself with plenty of excuses as to why they shouldn't get together. It would be too stressful for her. He seemed happy with his new girlfriend and she didn't want to but it. Neither of them had the time. The list went on and on.
    With the exception of diapering herself at night, Megan seemed to lead the life of the archetypical college student home for the summer. However, true to Helen's words, there were instances where she regressed. For instance, Vern had her pricing merchandise in the stock room one day and Megan found herself playing with dolls and flipping through children's' books. Or, when she went to bite her nails (another of her vices), her thumb found its way into her mouth and she didn't even realize she had been sucking on it. They were small cues mostly, and while Megan found herself balancing them with plenty of "adult" activities, there was no denying they were there.
    As the week drew to a close, Memorial Day became a point of focus for the Alder family. They were originally slated to take part in a barbeque at Drew's parents' home, but when his father twisted his ankle, there was concern that they might have to reschedule. Grandpa Glen healed in time, but a new complication presented itself. Jessica had called her parents to say that she and her fiancé would likely make an appearance. She also happened to mention that she was pregnant.
    The news was devastating to Nancy. For one thing, it meant that Jessica was now almost certain to marry Ricard Landreau (born Richard Landry, but he quickly decided that name didn't suit him). A more pompous man than he she and Drew hoped they would never meet. Jessica's pregnancy also meant that Nancy would be a grandma. She wasn't quite even fifty yet and was by no means ready for it. Finally, there was the possibility that due to the sour relationship between, Jessica would not allow her child the privilege of knowing her own grandmother.
    "Wow, Mom is really upset," Carrie remarked on evening after watching her mother cry.
    "Maybe we won't have to go to grandma and grandpas," Stephen lamented with restrained hopefulness.
    "Dad already said we're going, and that's that. Besides…I don't think Mom wants anyone to think there was anything wrong. What do you think, Meg?"
    Megan didn't know what to think. She felt terrible. Her mother had been so helpful, and yet she could do nothing to console her. She couldn't. After all, she hadn't the slightest clue what she was feeling. It was as if Nancy had lost a child (which, in many ways, she had). All Megan could hope to do was remind her that she still mattered to the children she had left.
    The night before the proposed gathering, Megan got an idea. She was lying in bed with just her diaper on, her knees drawn towards her chest in a nearly fetal position clutching a pillow when it came to her. The idea was childish and convoluted, the kind of last-ditch effort that was the bread-and-butter solution for the feeble-minded and the desperate. And while her own inner Simon told her time and time again that it was stupid, a more optimistic calling beckoned her to at least explore the possibility.
    Megan's plan called for her to wear a diaper to the gathering and, if need be, use it. The idea was to draw enough attention to her to defuse the potentially disastrous confrontation between Mom and Jess. She would act the part of a needy little kid (more or less) and remind her mom how much she loved her and how she missed being cared for by her. She would also use the opportunity as a to see if that was what she really wanted. If it wasn't, well, hey…things in her life had been crazy lately, she had an excuse for her behavior. And she would have all summer long to live down the mortification that was destined to fall upon her.
    Come Memorial Day, Megan rose, showered and changed as usual. She found herself wrapped in a bathrobe staring at the clean diaper that lay on the center of her bed. It was time to make her choice.
    AShe decided to go for it. Her mother needed her help and she felt she simply had to give it a try. Besides, what did she have to lose?
    BShe shook her head and stashed the diaper away. Bad idea, bad timing. Sure, she wanted to help her mother…. but not like this. There was bound to be another way.
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    She decided to go for it. Her mother needed her help and she felt she simply had to give it a try. Besides, what did she have to lose? Megan powdered herself and put the diaper on. She then wore one of her nicer (translation: non-frayed) pairs of jeans and a shirt her grandmother had gotten her for Christmas. Though it fit tightly under her jeans, Megan's reflection gave no indication that she was wearing anything other than a normal pair of panties. It took a carefully trained eye to detect any kind of bulge and Megan sincerely doubted any of her family members would be looking anyway. The crinkling sound, however, practically gave it away.
    "God, I'm such a dork," Megan remarked as she combed her hair. "Please let this work."
    Just as she was beginning to have second thoughts, Drew announced they were leaving. Nancy remained upset but when Drew asked if she'd rather they stay home, she refused. Her pride would not allow her to back down.
    As the three Alder children filed into the backseat of Drew's car, Megan was reminded of all the weekend visits to see her grandparents when she was younger. They were nice people and she couldn't help but think so even when her grandmother tried to lightly pry into her life or her grandfather always gave Stephen bigger gifts than Carrie or she. Her grandparents on her mother's side were nice too, she supposed, though they were old and in poor health and like distant strangers to her. Still, Megan counted herself lucky. Sabrina had lost all her grandparents. Des's grandmother was prone to fits of malevolent shouting. Kylie's grandparents had practically disowned her.
    "Jim Edmonds went 3 for 5 yesterday with a homer," Stephen commented. He had elected the Cardinals centerfielder as his new personal idol (replacing past favorites such as wrestling's The Rock, Karl Malone, and a soccer player with an unpronounceable name) and spoke frequently of his accolades. Megan rolled her eyes. She saw another sports conversation coming and felt like running for cover. At least he wasn't still hooked on the soccer guy. That would have reminded her too much of Ted.
    "Oh yeah?" Drew replied.
    "Billy's friend Rob says he has a signed rookie card, but I think he's full of shit."
    Everyone expected Nancy to condemn Stephen for his use of profanity, but instead she stared out the window in a disinterested stupor.
    "Watch the mouth," Drew cautioned after an awkward pause.
    Whilst the Edmonds conversation picked up again for the umpteenth time, Carrie and Megan tried to find something to talk about. In the past, it had been easy. Despite their age gap, they got along well. However, each of them had since branched out in different directions. When they ran out of things to talk about, Megan put her head down and closed her eyes. Maybe there was time for a quick nap before they got there.
    "Meg" Carrie whispered. One minute, she had been nearly asleep and the next her sister was frantically tugging on her arm.
    "Ugh. What?" she replied without much candor.
    Carrie leaned in closer so she was practically inside of her ear. She then asked Megan why she was wearing a diaper. Megan turned about a thousand shades of red and quickly tugged her shirt down. It had ridden up when she attempted to nap.
    "You'll find out later," she said. She had considerably less confidence in her plan than she did when she first hatched it. However, it was far too late to turn back now. "It's not why you think," she added as an afterthought.
    Stephen became curious as to what his two sisters were talking about and attempted to lean over Carrie's shoulder and find out. In doing so, he inadvertently head-butted her. She promptly retaliated by shoving him away.
    "Cut it out back there!" Drew snapped. Megan groaned. She was starting to wish she was back at college. Thankfully, they were almost there.
    Megan's grandparents looked as if they hadn't aged a day since she saw them last. At 77, she supposed that was a good thing.
    "College girl!" Grandpa Glen greeted, wrapping up Megan in a hug. "Hey Ida, look who's here?"
    "For your birthday," Grandma Ida said, handing her an envelope that would undoubtedly contain a card and a check for $50 (she had gotten the exact same thing for her past 5 birthdays, but that didn't bother her one bit). "I'm sorry we missed it."
    "That's OK," Megan joked. "I missed it too." She was relieved that neither of them had noticed her diaper. Not yet, anyway.
    "Marty here yet?" Drew asked. Marty was Drew's brother and the father of three of Megan's cousins, the eldest of whom came close to being her first crush.
    Glen shook his head. "He said he couldn't make it."
    Drew frowned.
    "Your daughter's coming though. Called and everything. She said she's bringing her fee-an-say with her. Your mother and I don't particularly care for that fella…"
    "Not one bit," Ida echoed.
    Nancy's eyes began to tear at the very mention of him. Drew took his father aside and explained the situation.
    "Pregnant?! Holy Moses, that makes me a great-grandfather. I'm not even 80 yet. Hey Ida…"
    The family gathered around a patio table, snacked on pretzels and talked while waiting for Jessica to arrive so they could begin grilling. Megan noticed how quiet her mother seemed and thought it bore a resemblance to her own mannerisms when she was upset. Hell, that was her last weekend: always withdrawing and pushing people away. Add to that her father's penchant for heated outbursts when upset and she began to see why coping seemed so difficult for her.
    Nancy had just begun to warm up when the dreaded moment came. Jessica and Ricard arrived in the Mini Cooper they shared.
    "How do ya fit anything in that?" Glen remarked when he saw the diminutive car.
    "I told you not to start without them," said Ida
    Megan watched her sister emerge from the tiny vehicle and walk towards them. Jess was always a bit on the chunky side (although she always referred to herself as 'Rubenesque') and seemed to have put on a few more pounds. Whether it was from the pregnancy or just the result of sheer indulgence had yet to be determined. Her fair hair, once the envy of the family, was done up in an absurd imitation of Princess Leia's, with what looked like an oversized chopstick jutting comically from the center of it. Her clothes were every bit as jarring: a long flowered skirt and a white blouse with puffy sleeves that seemed influenced by an episode of Seinfeld. Stephen could not help himself and started laughing hysterically at the sight of her. This time, his immaturity drew no reprimand.
    Walking by Jess's side with his arm draped around her was her fiancé, Ricard (nee Richard). He was as gaunt as she was rounded and hid his gaze beneath a pair of tinted sunglasses. His hornet's nest of bleached-blonde hair gave him the look of the struggling artist he often pretended to be. Despite the warm weather, he wore a long-sleeved purple silk shirt and a pair of white pants that were too tight for a girl, much less a grown man to be wearing. There was not a single happy face amongst the entire family when he stepped forward.
    "My dear family," Jess greeted with a hint of ennui. "Hello."
    "Hi Jess," Drew replied uneasily. "Ricard."
    "A pleasure as always," intoned the former Mr. Landry. Yet when Drew extended his hand for shaking, he did not return the favor.
    There were greetings all around, most of them brief and unsavory. The rest of the family sat down while Glen fired up the grill. Fearing an ugly confrontation, Drew rushed off to help.
    "So?" Grandma Ida asked. "When are you going to have the baby?"
    "Oh…. late August, early September," Ricard mused. "About two weeks before the wedding, we hope."
    "Two weeks?" Nancy asked, the tension in her voice rising.
    "I don't see what the big deal is, Mother," Jess contended. "You and Father were hardly married a year when you had me. You were three years younger, too."
    "Enough," said Nancy. "I don't want to talk about it."
    "…And then it wasn't long after that before Meg came along…"
    "I said enough!"
    "…And Carrie and Stephen, too. A pity. One more and you could have bought a minivan."
    Ricard chuckled dryly at his soon-to-be wife's witty repartee.
    The children watched the scene unfold with morbid curiosity. Stephen's eyes were wide and his mouth shut. He knew his sister was being a bitch and he felt bad for his mom, but he couldn't help be entertained.
    Carrie prayed that Jess would say no more, and God help Ricard if he decided to open his mouth. Like most of the family, she couldn't stand him. However, her reasons extended quite a bit beyond everyone else's base objections. Ricard had taken to verbal jabbing her at every one of their few interactions. When she was in her tomboy phase, he called her Pat (after the androgynous Saturday Night Live character). When she went straight edge, he asked her if her oneness with nature precluded her from taking showers. He had yet to comment on her pseudo-gothic attire, but she knew it was coming any minute.
    "Hey Meg…" she whispered, but her sister seemed lost in a trance.
    Megan bit her lip in frustration and watched her mother do the same. At that moment, she could empathize perfectly. She couldn't believe how blind her sister was. That women had given her birth and this was how she treated her? She felt as if she could spit on her. Instead, she did the next best thing.
    Slowly, but without hesitation, Megan unzipped her jeans and revealed her diaper. She then waited for someone to comment.
    Grandma Ida was the first to notice. Squinting, she looked at Megan confoundedly. "What's that you're wearing, dear?"
    Megan blushed deeply for a moment, chuckled and answered. "Oh. A diaper."
    The impending standoff was halted and all eyes suddenly fell upon her. She felt her internal barometer rise by about 20 degrees and she tightly gripped the underside of the table to keep her sanity in check.
    "Yeah…um….I had some problems with wetting the bed, so I wear them now," she explained.
    "Not during the day," Stephen mumbled and Carrie quickly elbowed him as a cue to be silent.
    "Megan?" Nancy asked, confused and just the slightest bit embarrassed.
    "My therapist says there's no harm in it," Megan continued. She was sure to say the word 'therapist' loud and clear so Jess could hear it. Her sister had often used psychology as a means of blaming her parents for everything.
    "Well…" Jessica began, and then fell silent. She was utterly unprepared for this.
    "You know, I read an article…." said Ricard. He soon trailed off. For once, he was woefully aware of how disinterested everyone was in what he had to say.
    "And Mom supports me all the way," Megan concluded. "Right, Mom?"
    Nancy appeared momentarily flustered, then nodded and smiled. "Yes, dear." She wasn't sure what had gotten into that girl or why she chose to pull such a crazy stunt, but whatever it was, it was working. Jessica's inventory of insults had suddenly run dry and Ricard seemed almost uncomfortable to be there.
    Shortly thereafter, two generations of Alder men returned carrying platefuls of burgers and hotdogs. Drew nearly dropped his platter when he saw what Megan had on.
    "What?" Megan asked, as if her being diapered in the middle of the day was the most natural thing in the world.
    "We'll talk about this later," Drew said sternly.
    The past few family gatherings had not made for great conversation. To the pleasure of no one, Jessica and Ricard often spoke at great length about their last art gallery visit or the latest independent film they saw that adhered to the guidelines of Dogme95. Whenever anyone tried to gracefully change the subject, they were accused of unspeakable rudeness. Occasionally, the young couple would shift from coffeehouse chatter to questions that were pointedly condescending. A verbal sparring match would ensue and at least one person would develop a terrible headache before the gathering was through.
    This time, however, Nancy began on the attack. She grilled Jessica extensively about her pregnancy, but the mother-to-be seemed unphased. She was wholly and unconditionally convinced that it was the right time in her life to have a child and nothing anyone could say could make her think otherwise. Their conversation would have continued to escalate had it not been for the presence of Megan's diaper. Jessica just found it so fascinating that her sister was back in diapers. Of all her siblings, Megan seemed the most likely to follow their mother. Wearing diapers seemed almost an act of rebellion…and yet Nancy supported it? No, that could not be.
    "How long have you been back in diapers, Meg?" Jessica asked with earnest curiosity.
    "Um…a couple of days," she quietly replied.
    "Is this normal?" Glen whispered to Ida.
    "It's probably just a phase."
    "Like your cousin Arthur was normal?"
    "Don't get me started on Arthur!"
    "And you're happy with them?" Jessica asked Megan.
    She nodded. Even if she wasn't, she had to appear as if she was.
    "Well…. as long as your happy…"
    Ricard groaned. He found his future sister-in-law's regressive behavior to be a most unsavory topic. He was beginning to regret agreeing to this little soiree. These people had no class. Then again, his own parents were no better. They still called him "Rich." Ugh…
    "Hey Lestat," he said tauntingly to Carrie. "Pass me the mustard. It isn't Dijon, but I suppose it will have to do."
    "I think it's empty," Carrie replied, handing him the squeeze bottle of mustard. He held it up to his eye to be sure and she quickly tapped the bottom. A gob of mustard went sputtering out and landed all over his designer shades. He gasped in outrage but everyone, his fiancé included, was laughing.
    "Good one," Stephen said, clapping his sister on the back. For once, she did not mind.
    Megan chuckled and rose to her feet. She had carried out her cunning charade to great effect, but now she had to pee.
    "Where are you going?" Jess asked.
    "Nowhere," she quickly blurted out. If Jess had suspected that it was all an act, the whole thing would have been for naught.
    "Oh…OK. For a minute there, it looked like you had to use the bathroom."
    Megan shrugged. "Old habit, I guess."
    She sat back down and soon became quite uncomfortable. It seemed as if her plan was starting to backfire. The pressure was mounting in her bladder and they hadn't even gotten to desert yet. Very slowly, a little bit at a time, she wet her diaper. It was the first time she did so consciously and the feeling was far different than waking up wet. For Megan, it was alternately repellent and exciting.
    Grandma Ida put out a cherry pie she baked and the adults helped themselves to coffee. Megan refrained from the latter; she had wet herself enough already. She did, however, indulge in a piece of pie. In the meantime, Jess and Ricard began to discuss their wedding. When last they brought it up, they were considering being wed by a friend who was a Church of the Universe preacher in their apartment. Nancy and Drew objected strongly to this arrangement and Jessica and Ricard in turn replied that it was their wedding and there was no way they were setting foot in a church. In recent months, however, Ricard's beloved Nana put her foot down and swayed them towards a more traditional ceremony. This somewhat appeased Nancy, though she doubted she would ever be pleased with the arrangement.
    There still remained plenty over which they could disagree.
    "I don't understand why you can't where a simple white gown," Nancy insisted when Jessica described the dress she had in mind.
    "White is BORING, Mother."
    "It was good enough for Grandma Ida. It was good enough for me."
    "Yes, but you are of a different generation. Face it, white is out."
    "How can white be out?" Ida questioned.
    "I remember you wanted a purple tux at first," Glen said to Drew.
    Drew rolled his eyes. "That was my prom, Dad. Not my wedding."
    "Oh. I guess you're right."
    Between the meal she had just eaten and all the back and forth bickering, Megan began to feel somewhat ill. Though she hoped the feeling would pass, it soon became evident that it would not. Megan was about to say the hell with her plan and rush to the bathroom. Her bowels expedited said decision and she discretely rose and started walking towards the house.
    Megan was about halfway there when her body grew impatient. There was a loud fart as she filled her diaper. Megan froze. The mortification she had been dreading came and it came fast and hard. This was no longer a game, a ploy for attention. This was her, a grown woman, losing control over herself and soiling herself. Alarm bells rang inside her head. Nothing had prepared her for this. Scared, she did the only thing she felt she could. She cried.
    Nancy stopped feuding with Jess and immediately ran to Megan's aid.
    "What's wrong?" she asked.
    "I…I…had an accident," Megan blubbered. "I tried to make it to the bathroom…but it was too late." She continued to sniffle, even as her mother hugged her and tried to calm her down. "I'm sorry! I wanted it to be a joke. I wanted to help…"
    "Shh…it's OK," Nancy said gently. "Do you have any extra diapers with you?"
    Megan nodded. "In my purse."
    Nancy instructed her to lie down on the grass and wait. Megan didn't care if she had her diaper changed in the middle of Central Park; she just wanted to be clean again. Nancy returned quickly with a damp paper towel and a fresh diaper. Jessica watched the situation with fascination. She had guessed that Megan wearing diapers was some kind of stunt to outdo her, and it now seemed as if the stunt had failed. She felt legitimately sorry for her sister.
    "I guess you aren't used to messing yet," she mused as Nancy began to change her.
    Megan shook her head.
    "You're going to be doing this soon enough," said Nancy. "Why don't you give a hand?"
    Jessica shrugged and aided the effort to clean her up.
    "That," Ricard remarked. "Is disgusting."
    "That's my sister," Jessica replied indignantly. Then, rehashing her mother's words, "besides, you'll be doing this soon enough."
    Ricard shrugged and said he'd be waiting in the car. When neither of them were looking, Megan smiled. Jessica had, in the moment, chosen her and Nancy over him. Things just might be OK.
    Clean, dry and diapered Megan eventually calmed down enough to say goodbye to her grandparents and apologize for her behavior. The trip home was largely quiet and just the slightest bit uncomfortable for everyone. Megan noticed how her mother no longer seemed quite as downtrodden. She liked to think that was her doing.
    When they arrived home, Carrie and Stephen were sent away so that Drew and Nancy could have a talk with Megan. They both seemed perplexed, concerned and just the slightest bit angry.
    "OK, look," Megan explained. "I knew what was going to happen between you and Jess, so I tried to draw some attention away. I thought maybe…you guys wouldn't fight as much."
    "That's sweet, dear," said Nancy. "But was this the best way you could think of?"
    Megan shrugged.
    "This isn't something you really want to do regularly, is it?" Drew asked.
    A"Yes," Megan replied to the surprise of both her parents. "As a matter of fact, it is."
    B"No," she answered. "Of course not." The unscripted accident had caused her feelings to change once again.
    C"I don't know," she replied. Her head was filled with questions and she thought it wise to talk to Helen once more before making any sudden tough decisions.
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

  9. #9
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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    "I don't know," she replied. Her head was filled with questions and she thought it wise to talk to Helen once more before making any sudden tough decisions. "I think I'd better talk to Helen again."
    "I think we'd all better," Drew urged, letting his skepticism show. "I want to know what kind of advice she's giving you."
    "I'll see if I can get an appointment for tomorrow evening," Nancy suggested. All three of them found this amendable and agreed to leave it at that.
    Safe at home once more, Megan changed out of her diaper and put on regular panties. The contrast was like night and day. She felt nearly naked without the thick bulk surrounding her, but freer as well. There were advantages and disadvantages to each and while she had roughly 17 years to adjust to the disadvantages of wearing underwear, she would have to adapt quickly if she wished to remain in diapers all the time. In her mind, that was still a colossal 'if.'
    "Hey Meg," Carrie greeted.
    "You probably think I'm flaking out, right?"
    Carrie shrugged. "Are you?"
    "I hope not."
    "Well…. whatever it is, you're still my sister. I hate when people judge me whenever I try something new and I'm not about to do it to you."
    "Thanks, sis."
    "Besides, did you see the look on Ricard's face?"
    Megan giggled. "Yup. And you got him pretty good with the mustard."
    "Eh…I try."
    Megan explained that while her plan began as a joke, she was now considering wearing diapers full time. She confessed to liking the security and comfort they provided…although she wasn't sure if she could get used to the idea of wetting and messing herself all the time.
    "Mom and Dad and I are going to talk to a counselor about it. So if you see me walking around the house in just a diaper over the next few days, at least you won't freak out."
    "That'd be funny. But hey…. I shouldn't say anything. I'm…"
    Carrie abruptly froze up. "Nothing," she whispered.
    "After all I just told you, you aren't going to tell me what it is?"
    "I will," Carrie explained. "Eventually."
    "Stay out of trouble, kid," Megan urged.
    The following morning, Nancy was in fact able to secure an appointment for that evening after everyone was home from work. Megan's conflicted feelings about regression lay on her mental backburner all day as she returned to the pharmacy. Surely enough, Josh commented on her 'weird mood' and surely enough she dismissed it as nothing. However, she made no blunders and drew no further attention to her imminent evaluation.
    Hours later, alongside her parents in Helen Schrieber's office, Megan began to tense up. She felt stupid for having pulled such a ridiculous stunt and even worse for already fouling up what had the potential to be a great summer. Helen's initial words to her were of no support.
    "Megan, when I mentioned regressive tendencies, this was not what I had in mind."
    "You said it was OK!" she rebutted.
    Drew looked at the counselor skeptically.
    "In small doses," Helen corrected.
    "Great," Megan sobbed. "I'm a freak."
    "Honey…" Nancy began, attempting to comfort her.
    "Quite the contrary," Helen interjected. "What you are describing is an acceptable form of release for many people."
    "Mrs. Schrieber…" a concerned Drew began.
    "Please. Helen."
    "Helen. Are you honestly going to tell me that my 19 year old daughter wanting to wear diapers all the time and being treated like a baby is normal?"
    "The desire to regress is not at all uncommon. However, feelings of guilt and shame often preclude it from being acted upon."
    Nancy seemed tentative. "Shouldn't there be some guilt? I mean, I'd like to think we did a good job of raising her. Why would she want to go back and do it again if we didn't?"
    "That's not it, Mom," Megan explained.
    "This is crap," Drew denounced. "Total crap."
    "Honey, you were supportive at first," Nancy reminded him.
    "That was because I thought she had a legitimate medical problem! Not 'regressive tendencies'…."
    "Mr. Alder," Helen sternly interrupted. "You are only adding to her guilt."
    Drew huffed and appeared cross and displeased, but said no more.
    "Megan?" Helen asked. "Do you still wish to spend time with your friends?"
    "Are you still interested in boys?"
    "Of course."
    "What about family?"
    "Does that strike either of you as abnormal?"
    Nancy and Drew looked at one another and shrugged.
    "I still don't get it," Drew affirmed.
    "It's a conflict you've probably experienced yourself, albeit in different terms."
    "I don't think so," he said dismissively.
    "What about the motorcycle?" Nancy asked.
    "Motorcycle?" Megan perked up. This was news to her.
    Drew sighed. "I was 18, maybe 19 and had just started college and I wanted to get a motorcycle. My parents forbade it. I kept saying, "I'm an adult!" and they kept saying "you won't have a motorcycle as long as you are under our roof."
    "Did this desire come to you suddenly?" Helen asked.
    "Well, no," Drew confessed. "I wanted one when I was 5."
    "So in many ways, this was a childish aspiration."
    "I suppose," he grumbled.
    Helen smiled. "Diapers are to Megan what the motorcycle was to you: a symbol of the past to identify with in an ever-changing present."
    "You don't need a helmet and a license to wear diapers," Drew contended.
    "You could have gotten one anyway," Nancy reminded him. "You were always careful."
    "I suppose you're right," he admitted at last.
    "Here is what I propose," Helen suggested. "You afford Megan one day to act out this regressive fantasy. It is possible that once it loses its symbolic value and becomes a reality, she will no longer desire it."
    "Isn't it also possible she'll want it to continue?" Nancy asked.
    "Well…yes," Helen confessed. "But all I ask of you right now is one day. Does that sound fair?"
    They both agreed that it did.
    "Megan? Is that fair to you?"
    She nodded. The prospect of being babied for a whole day was exciting to her. However, if something went wrong or she got sick of it, she could just as easily go back to normal the next day and never have to think of it again. It sounded perfect.
    The three of them left Helen's office with some semblance of closure.
    "When do you have off from work?" Nancy asked.
    "Umm…tomorrow, actually," Megan explained. "They are training someone new."
    "Then I suppose we can begin this tonight."
    "OK," Megan replied, disguising her enthusiasm.
    "Personally, I still feel this is a bit ridiculous. However, if we are going to try this," Drew argued. "Then we might as well take it seriously. That means for the next 24 hours, you might as well be a toddler."
    Her father's tone made her doubtful, but Megan knew that she couldn't back out. "OK," she consented. A slow smile then spread across her face. "I can't believe you wanted a motorcycle. Was it a Harley?"
    "Honda actually. And it's ancient history."
    "Come on, dear," Nancy chided. "I hear you talking about it every now and then."
    That night, after her siblings had gone to bed, Megan prepared herself for trial regression. She showered and trimmed her pubic hair. Part of her was giddy with excitement while another part was rife with doubt. Conflicted as she was, she felt like she was a passenger on an escalator being pulled towards a higher level of self-discovery. It was, she reckoned, how people must feel when they come out of the closet or find God or get drafted by a pro sports team.
    Her parents were waiting for her in her room with diapers in hand.
    "Do you remember the last time we did this for her?" Nancy asked.
    "Long, long ago," Drew remarked. "Heck, it was long, long ago when we did it for Stephen."
    Megan blushed slightly and nervously approached. There was a towel spread out on her bed and she was directed to lay down. Tense at first, she was able to let herself go as her parents powdered and diapered her and tucked her into bed.
    "Comfy?" Nancy asked.
    Megan nodded.
    "Goodnight, dear," she said, giving her a kiss on the head.
    "Sleep tight, Angel Pie," Drew added. Megan smiled. He hadn't called her that in years.
    Though she slept soundly, Megan found herself awake earlier than anticipated. Her mother had deliberately woken her so she could change her before she went to work.
    "Ugh, Mom," she remarked. "I'll change later. Let me sleep."
    "We had a deal," Nancy sternly reminded her. "Remember?"
    Megan nodded and allowed her to remove her wet diaper. Nancy then presented her with a pacifier.
    "Where did you get that from?" Megan asked.
    "You're sister," Nancy explained. She was referring to Jessica and her brief period as a raver several years ago.
    Megan nodded and gently took it in her mouth. It felt awkward at first, but soon became strangely comforting. Nancy wiped and powdered her and then put on not one, but two diapers. She was told that unless it was an emergency, she was not to change herself.
    "I have to run. Have a good day, sweetie."
    "Thanks. You too, Mom."
    Diapered and with the house to herself, Megan found herself at a loss. She thought briefly about going back to sleep, but dismissed it. Once awake, awake she would stay. However, she hadn't a clue what to do. She was supposed to be playing the part of a baby, but she didn't even know where to begin.
    "Um…. OK," she remarked to no one in particular. "Lil' help here?"
    The double-thick diapers really pushed her legs apart, causing her to waddle as she walked. They were also loud, bulky and obvious. At the same time, they were very soft and supportive. Megan briefly considered getting dressed but then realized that she WAS dressed. It was not uncommon for babies to wander around in just their diapers, especially on a warm, late-Spring day. Besides, this was one of the few opportunities she would ever have to wear just her diapers; she might as well take advantage of it.
    A bowl of cereal and a half-hour of cartoons later, Megan was bored. She lay on her back in her room, playing with her breasts and tapping her fingers against the crinkly plastic of her diaper. Was this all that babies did? If so, she understood why most people chose to stay grown up. Feeling restless, she wanted to go out and do something. However, she knew she couldn't…. not as long as she was thickly diapered.
    The urge to pee finally came and Megan instinctively rose to use the bathroom. Forcing herself to forget her training, she lay back down and gripped the sides of the bed. It took her awhile to relax, but she soon found herself wetting her diapers. It was an odd sensation, like a warm, wet kiss in her nether region. As long as she didn't think of the wetness as urine, she felt she would be more than OK with it.
    The phone rang and Megan the baby quickly changed into Megan the 19-year old. It was Sabrina. She wanted to know if Megan wanted to go swimming now that the town pool was open.
    "I don't know," Megan remarked. "A lot of 13 year old jerks hang around there."
    "Duh…they'd still be in school."
    "Oh yeah…forgot all about that. Hehe."
    "Besides, there's some cute guys too."
    "And I really wanna try out that bikini."
    A"I'm there," Megan replied. She opted to put her babyhood on hold for the time being, showered and got ready. Besides, she thought she would be home before her parents could find out.
    B"Not today," she said dejectedly. She did, after all, agree to try it for a whole day.
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

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    Re: Meg's Transformation

    "Not today," she said dejectedly. She did, after all, agree to try it for a whole day.
    "OK. Catch you later."
    Megan felt guilty about not being able to tell her best friend her reason for not going out. Despite Helen's assurances and her parents' support, part of her still found it embarrassing. She knew that she would have to conquer that part, especially if she wanted to wear full time. She also knew she wouldn't be able to lead a double life. She would have to tell everyone. Des. Sabrina. Josh. Even Ted. Though Josh held the power to get her fired, it was Ted's reaction she feared most. He was still her measuring stick and she was loath to miss the mark.
    The dampness in Megan's diaper was quickly forgotten and she moved on to some journal-writing. As she struggled to enumerate the plethora of feelings she was experiencing, another old habit came back. Megan soon found herself biting her nails. Fearing she would wear them down to mere stubs, she reached for her pacifier and popped it into her mouth. Let her teeth assail that for the time being.
    "Ugh. Me bored," she exclaimed when she could write no more. Megan desperately wanted to go outside and play. However, she knew that exposing herself would be folly. And yet if she dressed, she would likely forget she was in baby mode and be tempted to head out. Besides, she doubted she had anything that would fit over her double thick diapers.
    After a moment's contemplation, she settled on an overlong, baggy t-shirt she picked up at the campus bookstore a few weeks back. Kylie had joked that there was room enough in the shirt for both of them. It would do a sufficient job of covering her diapers and still allow her to feel suitably babyish. She slid on a pair of sandals to complete her ensemble and examined herself in the mirror. She thought she looked unbelievably cute.
    Before heading out, Megan grabbed a banana and a glass of juice. Her mother had neglected to get her a bottle. In time, Megan thought. In time.
    In the privacy of her backyard under the midday sun, Megan found herself lost in the throes of her own imagination. Her diapers did an ample job of cushioning her butt from the pointy grass and she was able to make herself comfortable. She imagined that before her was a golden plate on which lay several eggs. These, however, were no ordinary eggs. One was laid by a golden goose and would make all her dreams come true. Another was the egg of a vulture and could mean death. She imagined that her friends were around her, encouraging her to make her pick….
    It had been years since she thought of, let alone played, the Egg Game. That was odd, considering when she was younger, she played it constantly. She played it with her sisters. She played it with her friends. She even played it with Shawn Means, who lived down the street from her and could be a real jerk sometimes but was sweet underneath and she might have had a crush on at one point. The Egg Game, which was played with a set of brightly colored plastic eggs, was her escape for many years. Bad day at school? Upset because Alison Dowry didn't invite her to her birthday party? Didn't matter; the Egg Game let her be whatever and whoever she wanted…albeit for a couple of minutes at any rate.
    Megan took a deep breath and sighed. She looked at her 19-year-old hands and thickly diapered crotch in disbelief. It was an acute form of future shock, as if she expected herself to be only 6 and wearing Minnie Mouse panties.
    "Freaky," she remarked. Even Stephen wouldn't remember (or wouldn't want to, as he was often an unwilling participant) the egg game if asked about it. As for Shawn, the last she heard, he had enlisted in the Army.
    Refocusing, Megan let herself go once more. This time, Ted's was among the menagerie of faces by her side. It was impossible, of course, as she had not known him then. But it was her daydream and, of course, he belonged.
    "Choose that one," he encouraged, his easy smile lulling her into making an even easier decision.
    Megan was brought back to reality once more. This time, it was her bowels and not her consciousness that stirred her. She rose and began walking back towards the house, only to have her bowels empty about halfway. Megan stopped and fretted. It was very disconcerting to her. After all, she practically never had a messing accident in her life. And yet, ever since putting on a diaper, her body had been cutting loose whenever it damn pleased. Maybe it knew something she didn't.
    "Ewww….gross!" she remarked, and stormed inside to change. Playtime was most definitely over.
    Another thought crossed Megan's mind and she just as soon wished she hadn't opened this can of worms to begin with. What if wearing diapers all the time led to more accidents? She didn't know if she could deal with constantly wetting and messing herself, or relying on someone else to change her. The thought of being out in public with a full load in her diaper was absolutely mortifying. Maybe it was time for her to rethink this experiment.
    Rather than change right away, Megan opted to sit in her mess. It wasn't pleasant and it sure as hell wasn't comfortable, but as long as she was still considering diapers, she had to consider all that came with it. After awhile, Megan was ready to scrap the whole idea. She had wet again and her diapers were almost unbearably smelly and uncomfortable. She felt bored, isolated and inadequate. Being able to relax was one thing, being made helpless in a situation like this was something else entirely.
    Megan showered and treated herself to a nice long bath. She was sure to triple-bag her dirty diaper and bury it deep at the bottom of the trash. After what she had just went through, another diaper was the last thing Megan wanted to wear. She remembered the deal she made with her parents and groaned. It wouldn't be fair to them if she quit now. After all, they were going to great lengths to support something she wanted….or thought she wanted at any rate. Sighing, Megan diapered herself once more.
    Nancy came home from work to find her daughter still diapered, but irritable and cranky. Megan refused many of her motherly overtures and was content to sit in a corner and sulk.
    "You know," Nancy remarked with a half-smile. "Little girls who don't behave themselves might just have to be spanked."
    "Go ahead," Megan sourly replied.
    "Honey, what's wrong? Things not working out the way you expected?"
    Megan nodded.
    "Helen said this might happen…."
    "I know. And it was fun…. for a little bit. But now it's like, 'what the hell was I thinking?'"
    "Forgive me for still being in the novelty phase," said Nancy. "But I think it's cute."
    "You're not the one wearing a diaper, Mother."
    "Stop that," Nancy snapped. Then, under her breath she added, "You're sounding like Jess."
    "Sorry," she replied blandly.
    "It's better that you found out now than later."
    "Yeah…I guess."
    "Things in life aren't always going to turn out the way you want, Megan."
    "I know, Mom. I just wanted something…you know, for me."
    "And I'm sure you'll find it. Someday."
    Megan wore her diapers for the rest of the day, as promised. She took some teasing from Stephen, who was glad to not have to be the baby of the family for once. Carrie tried to be supportive, but even she couldn't help but laugh when she saw her big sister sucking on a paci and playing with toys she found in the attic.
    There were moments, like the experience she had had outside, in which Megan was able to let herself go. Yet on the whole, she could not convince herself. She could never be a baby again or even a little girl; she would just be a college student playing the part. And once she got past thinking it was cute or exciting, she came to realize it was in many ways pathetic and sad. She should be looking forward, not back. Thought she felt like an old lady at times, she still realized that most of her life lay ahead of her. Her mother was right: someday she would find whatever it was she was looking for. However, it wouldn't be today and it wouldn't be diapers.
    Diapered and lying in bed that night, Megan tried to remember the last time she felt 'normal.' She couldn't. Even before she came home, there were restless nights and slight, but significant changes. On impulse, she reached for her journal and jotted down a quick entry.
    I'm not going to worry anymore. What happens, happens. I'll probably still wet the bed, but I don't need to make a big deal out of it. And if I feel like sucking on my thumb every once in awhile, so what? I'm not the only person who does it. I don't have to pretend. If I'm not gonna be really happy either way, I might as well be me. Besides, something might come along. Who knows? I didn't expect this, but here I am…. diapers and all. It's late and I'm tired. Nite-nite.
    The End
    From birth onward, we are dying one day at a time.

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