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Thread: Super Hero High

  1. #1

    Super Hero High

    Yes, this a pure rip off of Sky High, X-men, etc. Please do let me know how to improve my writing. This is only a completed story because I had so much fun writing it I didn't know where to break it off into chapters. I noticed I was using lots of proper names in a row, followed by a run of pronouns that aggravated even me. Also, at times the story flows well and other times seems rushed or bogged down. Thanks for your input! If you think its good enough, I may write a short sequel, though I did run out of steam at the end. Anyone is welcome to pick this story up, just write to me to let me know before posting.

    "How'd I do coach?" Kyle asked as he crossed the finish line.
    "4:33" Coach Steel said.
    Kyle laughed as ran to catch up with Trey and Jen. Trey saw Kyle sprinting and shouted over to him, "Not bad for a normie." If anyone else had called him that, he would have probably punched them. But Trey was his friend and he knew the comment wasn't meant to be taken as an insult.
    "What was your time?" he asked, "Slow for a hero?"
    Jen jumped in, "Slow for a sidekick actually."

    Kyle was at his first semester at Super Hero High. All the students there had either their mom or their dad or a couple of super hero grandparents, or all of the above. There were a few exceptions, the random student who had powers when their family didn't, the first generationers, as well as the occasional freak accident giving someone power. Kyle's dad had telepathy and telekinesis. His mom was a speedster, able to run at superhuman speeds. He never met his mom's parents, though they were supposedly heroes in their own right, but his dad's father had super strength and his grandmother had shape shifting powers.
    Kyle, however, had none, yet. Most heroes didn't discover their powers until puberty, others were late bloomers, and still others who should others have powers never developed them. The late bloomers always got picked on during their years at SHH, but by the time they graduated, if they made it, most others sympathized with those who might never get their powers.
    Since the majority of students came with the beginnings of their powers already, the school had a ceremony for introducing the freshman heroes and sidekicks into the super hero world. They were given their hero names and assigned classes that best fit their skills. The ceremony was always on the last day of the students first semester at SHH.

    Kyle and Trey laughed about the mile run as they headed to their next class. The school had a block system so students could learn normal stuff like math, science, English and history on A days, then classes like Hero ethics, where they learned appropriate use of their powers and how to protect their secret identity, on B days. Today was a B day.
    Mr. America began class, "Who can tell me the first rule of ethics for the super hero?"
    Several of the students shouted at once, "Only a villain uses their powers for personal gain,"
    "And the second?"
    "A super hero never escalates a battle unless forced,"
    "And the third?"
    "A super hero never reveals their identity to normals,"
    They had all heard these before, they were rote by now.
    "Any questions?"
    One student raised their hand, "What about super heroes who are just learning to control their power?"
    Mr. America replied, "All of thee rules are followed by the statement "as far as he or she is able – we all know villains work hard to get heroes to fall. A hero just learning is given a grace period, just as all of us are able to practice our powers on the school grounds,"
    Simon called out from the back, "Those of us who have powers, at least,"
    Everyone knew Simon was destined for villainy. The school gave every opportunity it could to save some from that path, but unless there was a major violation of one of the three rules, no one ever got kicked out.
    Mr. America kept talking, but Kyle started daydreaming. He hoped he would get his powers soon. He was tired of being picked on. He would even be glad to be a sidekick, provided he found the right hero to work with.

    Soon the final bell rang and class was over. Some students merely walked home, others took the bus, others who came in from farther were allowed to use the transporter. Still others who could hide their powers simply used their own powers to get home – flying invisibly and the like. Kyle walked.
    As he opened the door, he heard his mom on the phone, "It would be a tragedy, yes, but we would love him even if he was a sidekick, or even if his powers never came. He's our son. You aren't going to kick him out. I don't care what the rules are,"
    He sighed and snuck off to his room. The rules of the school were clear. If it became apparent that a student would not receive powers, they had to return to normal school. Most parents were able to fight it long enough for the child to graduate, and Kyle was glad his parents were supportive. He worked on his homework, had dinner with his family (he was an only child), and watched TV in his room. He wondered if Jen and Trey would finally get together this year – they had been interested in each other since 6th grade, in a middle school way. He wondered if he would meet someone, but mostly he wondered if he would ever get his powers. He fell asleep and dreamed of flying and being a real hero.
    Of course, he woke up wet.
    It wasn't enough that he hadn't developed powers yet, he was still a bedwetter too. He gathered his sheets and tossed them in the wash. His parents never made a big deal about it, but he was a high schooler, and knew it wasn't normal. Or maybe he was just too normal to be a hero.

    Kyle certainly felt normal during school that day, it was after all an A day. The day of the ceremony had been announced and that was on his mind, but for the most part on A days he felt comfortable. He was a good student and a lot of the people he knew would be heroes wanted to work with him in A day classes, and that made him feel good about himself.
    Trey raced down the hall and caught up with Kyle quickly, "Hey man," he said.
    Kyle just nodded, thinking he might be better off in a normal school, but enjoying his friends.

    He woke up wet again the next day. He was often wet three times a week. He dealt with his clothes and the sheets and showered as he got ready. It often seemed like he lived in two worlds. One world was the A day world, one was the B day world. In A day, he was normal, which was great. In B days, he was normal, which made him an oddball. Throw in the bedwetting and it just got worse. And today was a B day.
    Fortunately he made it through his first two blocks, and he got a pleasant surprise when he reached P.E. Coach Steel stood on the track with what looked like a large metal staff.
    "Mary," Coach said, "step forward please,"
    Mary was a speedster, one of the fastest in the class on most days. She stepped forward quickly, always ready to support the Coach.
    "Please run one lap. You aren't in any trouble," he explained, "On my whistle,"
    He had barely blown it when she was halfway around the track. But then, he tapped the staff to the ground and what looked like a large dome began to cover the track. She raced around the third corner, then the dome was complete. All at once she turned from a blur to a easily visible runner.
    She jogged back to the group and asked, "What is that thing?"
    "Does anyone remember the battle between The Sprint and The Cheetah?"
    Kyle spoke up, "Sure. The Sprint was one of the fastest speeders ever. The Cheetah was his arch nemesis for almost ten seasons."
    While many villains didn't care for etiquette, some villains did in fact want to fight nobly. Those who did agreed to only fight in season, which had been settled on at the humorously named Krypton conference. The season officially began each year at the conclusion of the ceremony.
    Coach said, "Right. Go on,"
    "The Cheetah was a shape shifter. Under normal circumstances, even in his animal form, he couldn't catch The Sprint though. Until…" it donned on him as he explained, "until the Cheetah figured out a way to block the Sprint's powers."
    "And what happened?"
    "He was able to catch the Sprint, and without his powers, he couldn't fight a cheetah. If it wasn't for his sidekick, he would have lost,"
    "Exactly," Coach beamed, "This device blocks students powers. So today, you will run without your powers. Villians will do whatever they can to take you down, let's see who's the fastest without their powers. Being fast on your own may help at some point,"
    He blew the whistle again and this time Kyle was in the front of the pack. In fact, after three laps, he was in first by a few steps. He could feel himself tiring out, but if he could just make it to the next turn he could sprint the rest of the way. He saw Trey and Jen right behind him as he turned, Simon right behind them. Mary, without her power and having already run a lap, was near the back of the group, laughing about it. She had a good sense of humor, Kyle thought, though he hoped she took it seriously too.
    He started sprinting and Coach grabbed his hand and raised it up after he crossed the finish line. "Winner, at 4:47!" he said.
    As they headed back to the locker room, Mary came up to him, "Good job today. Once you get your powers and I get them back, I bet you give me a good race,"
    Kyle grinned and said, "You're on,"
    Mary fell back to talk with her friends and Simon came up, "Too bad you can only win when no one else has any powers either,"
    Jen and Trey were right behind him, and Jen stuck out her leg and tripped Simon. He tried to catch himself, fell anyway, quickly got up and brushed himself off, seeing the three laughing. "If we weren't under this dome, I'd have you, you know. Don't get girls to do you dirty work," and then headed back to be with his friends.
    As they got to the locker room, Trey looked at Kyle for just a moment, then said, "Uh, dude? You're wet,"
    "I'll say, it was one of my slower miles, but it was a workout,"
    "No, I mean,"
    Then Kyle realized what had happened. At some point while he was running, he had wet himself. Trey was his only friend who knew about the bedwetting, and was always encouraging, "No worries. I'll bet it's a sign you're about to get your powers, you know, like normies hitting puberty and weird things happening to them,"
    Kyle nodded, changed back into his regular clothes, and made sure it wasn't noticeable. He could take home the gym clothes and wash them at the end of the week anyway, and there wasn't another B day. Still, having an accident was odd.

    When the weekend finally came, Kyle was excited to get to sleep in and relax, watch sports and play video games. He got his homework done so he could actually enjoy it all, and fell asleep Friday night easily. He was okay with staying in, most of the time.
    He woke up wet again, but realized something was off. He tried to sit up but couldn't. He tried to call for help, but couldn't. He wondered if he was dreaming and was able to roll over and look at the clock. It was only 6:33. He would go back to sleep and maybe get out of the dream.
    He woke up again, and was able to look at the clock, it said 10:00. Maybe it was time for him to get back up. He tried to move again, but still couldn't. He tried to call out, but still couldn't. Finally, he was able to move around to get a good look at what was going on in the mirror in his room. And to his surprise, he looked like a six month old baby.
    He screamed. And to his surprise again, a scream did come out. His dad came in and saw him, and his mom came in and said, "Uh oh."
    That was no good. His dad asked, "Can you understand us, Kyle?"
    He nodded.
    "Do you know if a villain did this to you?"
    He tried to shrug, and must have gotten the point across.
    His mom said, "I'm calling the doctor,"
    Fortunately, most hero doctors did house calls, to protect identities.
    Dr. M. Champ was their family doctor and he arrived after about thirty minutes. Kyle still couldn't do much more than roll around in his bed.
    Dr. Champ explained to the family, "I'm going to try to put this gauge under your tongue. It's kind of like a thermometer, but it will tell me if this is a villian's doing,"
    Kyle tried to cooperate and was moderately successful, but Dr. Champ said, "No, it's no villain."
    He hummed and hawed for a moment, then said, "I'm going to give you some medicine. It will block your powers,"
    Again Kyle tried to cooperate, but it was difficult. A few seconds after he swallowed, he suddenly felt the room spin, then saw himself in the mirror, he was back to normal.
    He almost got out of bed, then realized he was still wet. He stayed under the covers and asked, "So my power is becoming a baby?"
    Dr. Champ explained, "Maybe not. If you are a shapeshifter, then maybe you became a baby in your dreams for some reason, not being able to control it yet."
    Kyle had to laugh. For a long time he had wanted his powers to show, now it was just another thing he couldn't control.
    Dr. Chang left his family with some medicine, and then Kyle explained to them he had been wet.
    "What if it happens at school?"
    His dad got confused, "What if you wet yourself at school?"
    "No I mean what if I suddenly turn into a baby at school?"
    His parents had no answer, but they said, "Let's not worry about it, if it happens again, we can figure something out."
    He worried about it all day, and didn't sleep well, and of course, he woke up wet.
    His family wasn't very religious, mostly Christmas and Easter, and so he slept in again, forgetting he was wet once again.
    When he woke up, he could get out of bed, but a very serious pain went through his legs as he did. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked 90.
    He shouted, but his voice didn't carry. He shouted again, and his dad came running up. He took one look and said, "I'll get the medicine. Focus on returning to normal, maybe you can get control of this thing."
    Kyle did that, and by the time his father got back, he had reverted to normal. A small success, but a success none the less.
    The rest of the day he tried to get myself to shape shift, but nothing came of it. Maybe he didn't have it figured out after all.
    Later his mom came in, "I'm worried about your bedwetting,"
    Kyle sighed, "I know mom, but I think its just getting worse I get my powers right now."
    "You don't want another visit from the doctor then?"
    "Not yet, mom, thanks though,"
    She nodded and left, leaving Kyle slightly embarrassed. He had been wet four days in a row now, which was unusual, even for him.

    School went by quickly over the next couple days. He had been taking medicine to control his power while at school, but at home he had been able to play with it some more. He had finally figure out, he wasn't so much a shape shifter as an age-shifter. He could shift to any age if he thought about it for a few moments, really focused. He could shift back just as simply. He figured it was a useful power, he could spy on different places just by looking different than his current age. He wondered about getting a fake ID, but that would be for personal gain.
    He had decided he would reveal his power at gym the next chance he got. Surely coach wouldn't make a 90 year old run. Of course, just age shifting was probably only worth side-kick.

    That day seemed to drag by. Kyle stalled in the guys locker room, changed, then focused. And it worked. He started walking out to gym, each step painful, but worth it. As he saw the look on others faces and saw Trey, Jen, and even Mary, grinning, he knew things were about to change.
    Coach Steel came out, and saw him. "Old man, huh? Good job, Kyle. Welcome to the world of powers. Now, everyone down to the track. You still got to run Kyle, I'd suggest morphing back."
    Kyle groaned, and focused. He was quickly his normal freshman self again. As he began his jog around the track, Mary caught up with him.
    "Hey, Kyle,"
    "Hey, Mary,"
    "So you're a shapeshifter?"
    "Really just an age shifter for now,"
    "Still cool. Maybe that means you'll get another power too,"
    "Hopefully," Kyle laughed as they finished the first lap.
    After a few paces of silence, Mary laughed. Kyle blushed a little, "Sorry, not a great conversationalist,"
    Mary responded, "That's alright. Here, I'll start: You ready for the quiz today?"
    Kyle nodded, "Yeah. I think we'd be better off if we went back to the days of team heroes, you know? Why not three or four heroes in a group? Why one hero and one sidekick?"
    Mary laughed, "You're just afraid I'll get hero and you'll be stuck as my sidekick."
    Kyle argued, "No, I'm serious. I mean, I don't have much power now, but even if I became a hero, I think I'd rather work with two or three others, regardless of sidekick or hero status."
    "You might change your mind," Mary said, then, "Quarter lap left. Race you there,"
    She took off, not using her powers and Kyle sprinted after her. They were neck and neck until at the last second, Kyle used one last burst and got past the finish line.
    Coach called out, "Kyle 4:27, Mary 4:28,"
    Kyle thought Mary had let him win and said so. Mary said, "Thanks for that, but no, I'm way too competitive to do that."
    The two caught up with Trey and Jen right as Simon caught up with them. He pointed to Kyle and said, "Looks like you're 90 year old self left its bladder,"
    Kyle looked down at himself and put his hands to his gym shorts, realizing he had wet himself.
    Trey stood shocked and Mary and Jen didn't seem to know what to think, but Kyle was fast on his feet, "Again? Oh man, I'll defeat the Potty Training Monster yet." Everyone laughed, and Kyle hoped that was the end of it.

    Kyle was starting to get worried. He nearly failed the quiz over it. He just didn't know what to do. As he was walking home, he saw a Walgreens and walked in. He looked at their over the counter medicine, not that he expected to see anything, then walked over to the adult diaper section. He laughed, not really believing he might actually consider them, then walked out the door, a little relieved.

    The next day, the whole school was abuzz. A new comic strip had begun circulation. Big Baby versus the PTM, issue #1. Kyle played it off, but it bugged him. In it, a character that looked similar to him encountered the PTM, and tried to conquer it and failed, instead ending up using his powers to become an infant and wet himself. His friends tried to encourage him, but he wouldn't be consoled.
    That night he had a dream. In it, he was fighting Simon. Simon threw a punch, but he transformed into a 4 year old and the punch flew over his head. Then Simon swung low and Kyle became a freshman again, easily jumping the attack. Simon paused, and was about to swing again when Kyle became a 90 year old and Simon stopped, "I can't fight an old man," he said.
    Kyle responded, "Why? Cuz your diapers wet?" Simon looked down and was suddenly in diaper, and sure enough, it was soaking.
    Kyle woke up laughing. The subconscious did strange things. Sure enough, he was wet himself.

    Besides his bladder trouble, Kyle had been enjoying school more and more. One day in P.E, Coach Steel announced, "Today we are testing our tele- powers." Many of the students had either telepathy or telekinesis, but rarely both like Kyle's dad.
    He had no luck with the telekinesis, which they all attempted first.
    When it came time for telepathy, though, something strange happened. He got paired up with Mary since Trey and Jen were together. Neither one had telepathy, but they kept pretending the other's absurd answers were right.
    Kyle sat next to Mary, facing her, and Mary said, "I always thought telepathy would be cool, but I like my speed."
    Kyle tried to listen but got distracted. He thought he heard something. He looked around. Jen was listening to Trey, but Kyle heard, "Why doesn't he just ask me out already?"
    Surely he was just imagining things.
    He faced Mary and she said, "Ok, I've done enough talking. Let's see if you can read minds,"
    He focused, and suddenly felt a flash of pain in his head. Then he heard a jumble of thoughts: I like him. But he's a baby. Hardly a hero. Ageshifting? He's fast, but so? He's smart, but come on. I mean, if Simon had any hope of not becoming a villain, there's a guy I'd go for. Man, I hope my parents don't find out about my party.
    He grinned. The first part was depressing, but it also meant he had some sort of power. He asked, "Am I invited?"
    Mary gasped and gave him a high five. "That's awesome,"
    But then he heard: That's awesome. I've got a crush on the baby who can read my mind. Wait, is he reading this? Man, if the school knew, I'd be the laughing stock."
    "Yeah," Kyle said as the Coach blew the whistle, "Wait til you wind up in Issue 2," and stormed off.

    "Dude," Trey said, at lunch the next day, "What happened yesterday? Mary told us you had telepathy now too. That rocks. You may be a hero yet,"
    Kyle usually had a long fuse, but it blew, and though not yelling, he did go into a rant, "Yeah. It comes and goes right now. But knowing what people really think of you actually stinks. I'm the Big Baby now, I'll always be the sidekick who couldn't defeat the PTM. You've been a Regenerator since what, the sixth grade? And Jen has her electric stuff. Mary has her speed. Simon has his fire. What do I get? I can become different ages and read minds I don't really want to hear."
    "Dude, calm down. You'll figure it all out," Trey said, "Besides, what good is regenerating without another power,"
    Kyle was about to calm down when he heard: Like freezing.
    "You holding out on me man?" he demanded, "regeneration and ice control. That's impressive,"
    They would always be friends, but Kyle left lunch mad.

    That night he had the same dream again. He was fighting Simon, and Simon stopped the fight because of a wet diaper. Kyle began to wonder, trying to figure out if he could get close enough to Simon to read his mind.

    Sure enough, the next P.E class came and Coach announced, "I'm assigning partners for sparring today. Half force is all the gym will allow."
    As he started going down the list, Kyle began to wonder about something. He had heard that some heroes could perform inception – not just mind reading but mind making. As the last names were being called out, Kyle realized it was down to him, Jen, Mary, Trey, and Simon. Coach began, "Kyle and T-"
    But Kyle was at work, already realizing his potential, "No, let's put Kyle with Simon today,"
    Kyle actually smiled. They found a spot on the floor and when the whistle blew Simon said, "This will be easy." He swung, but Kyle heard his plan and dodged. He heard: Okay, this might be a decent fight. But I still got him.
    Simon formed a fire ball and threw it towards Kyle but Kyle evaded it. He tried to focus on his mind reading, playing defense. He wanted to find out if his dreams had any truth in them. Finally class was over. He hadn't learned anything except he could defend well. He changed quickly and tried to peek over at Simon's locker as he changed. Sure enough, regular old boxers, and in fact, Kyle heard: I bet the Big Baby actually wears diapers. I bet that would make a good issue 2. The guys want me to have it on Friday.

    A plan began formulating in Kyle's mind. He was wetting a lot. It made sense to try them at night. No one had to know. But if he wore one over his clothes on Thursday, Fridays release would be deadened.
    But the dream kept bugging him.

    On Wednesday he bought the supplies. It was embarrassing, but he got through it. He didn't have the courage to try them on that night, but was able to put one on Thursday morning. Of course he got tons of laughs and when people asked him about it, he said, "Check out the new issue of Big Baby tomorrow,"
    Simon glared in distain. Kyle could hear: I'll still release it, people will go back to teasing him.

    Friday came, and after having the dream again, Kyle decided to visit Mr. Orb, the guidance counselor, himself. Mr. Orb was said to be the best telepath in the hero world.
    He walked into the office and Mr. Orb said, "Take a seat."
    It seemed like an hour but was actually only 10 seconds later when Mr. Orb said, "Sometimes we lose control of something in our lives because a new type of control is coming."
    Kyle heard: I know you can hear me, so I don't need to talk out loud. This is more confidential. I know this seems odd, but try something on me. Focus, tell my bladder to release."
    Kyle laughed out loud. Mr. Orb thought: I'm serious. If you could incept something like getting paired up in gym, maybe you can incept this too." So Kyle focused, and
    Mr. Orb thought-shouted, "Stop! It's working,"
    Then Mr. Orb spoke, "Fascinating. Many heroes have some form of inceptive telepathy. But that's mostly in the mind. I think you have a brand new power here, Kyle. You're losing control of your own bladder as you become a – let me look up what the power would be called, a Eurenesikenetic. You may just be able to control other peoples bladders."
    Kyle laughed at the thought, then realized he too was wet.
    He heard: You may eventually be able to control that. But for now, call it the side affect of your powers. Don't abuse them."
    Kyle left the office, dealt with his clothes, and went on to class, wondering about this new power. He was an age-shifter, a telepathic and a eurenesikenetic.

    Over the next several weeks, he quietly and discreetly began discovering the full extent of his powers. He realized he had developed some super strength as well telekinesis in addition to his other powers. Once he revealed them, there was no way he wouldn't get hero. Of course, his potty problem was getting worse, and he had resorted to wearing diapers again. But that was okay, cuz soon everyone who made fun of him would wear them too.

    He finally decided to put his plan into action. That day at school, he noticed Big Baby Issue 3 came out. Simon was standing in hall laughing with his friends. Kyle strode up to him and said, "Whats so funny Simon?"
    "Come on, Kyle," Simon said, "everyone knows your in diapers now. That's funny."
    Kyle said, "I guess so. But not as funny as this,"
    And with that, in one fell swoop, he used his telekinesis to have Simon's pants fall down, his eurenesikenesis to make him pee himself, then transformed into a 25 year old version of himself that was a full head taller than Simon. He used his inceptive powers to get Simon to think maybe he needed diapers too, and how ashamed he should be for wetting himself, then listened in to Simon's own mind spinning. Finally, he transformed back into his normal self and said, "See you later, pants wetter,"
    Simon was about to bawl, but Kyle just walked away.

    He saw Mary next. She was with Trey and Jen during lunch. He was still mad at Mary for her thoughts the other day, and immediately got to work. He used his inceptive powers to play with her mind – do I need to pee? No, I can wait. Oh, yes I do! At the same time he played with her bladder. Taking it to brink of wetting herself, then letting it calm down, just to bring it right back up. The look on her face was priceless. Her thoughts were even better.
    As she got up to go to the bathroom he used his telepathy to follow her in. As she moved into the stall and pulled down her pants, he got to work again. His telekinesis meant he could work against her, and she struggled with her panties until it was too late.

    He was enjoying it, and in fact in their next class, played with Mary some more. She asked to go to the bathroom close to the beginning of class, and as soon as she walked out the door, he drained her bladder so she didn't need to go. She stepped back in, then had to ask again in the middle of class. The teacher agreed and he did the same thing. When the teacher said no after third time, he made her desperate. He put in her mind the idea of wearing diapers. He didn't let her have an accident this time though.

    The next day, she came up to him, "Hey, can I ask you a question?"
    "Sure," he said, trying to read her mind to see what was coming.
    "Could I borrow one of your diapers? I've been having some troubles…" she blushed.
    "Sure," he said, trying to suppress a grin. He used his telekinesis to open his locker and pull one out. He was about to hand it to her when he had an idea.
    "Want me to change you?" he asked, "Sometimes it can be tricky,"
    She laughed, "No way," but he heard her thoughts, "That might be fun. I think I'd enjoy babying you, for sure."
    He let go of the diaper and let her run off. Simon came after him and said, "I don't know what you did to me yesterday, but if you think you're getting away with it, you have another thing coming,"
    Suddenly, Simon yelled and a fire ball came right at Kyle. He used his telekinesis to make it miss, but couldn't avoid the charging Simon and was tackled to the ground. Simon tried to through a punch but Kyle had enough strength to stop it, twist it and fling him backwards. He could anticipate each move. He tried to incept the idea "I don't want to fight," but it wasn't working. He tried to get Simon's bladder full, but Simon fought on. He heard Simon think, "I'm not wetting myself again. I'll go as soon as I'm done pummeling him."
    Mary came back out, looking slightly embarrassed but quickly realizing what was going on, and tried to break the fight up. Instead, soon a whole crowd had gathered. Finally, they were broken up.

    Trey commented, "Man, Kyle, you're gonna already have an archrival on ceremony day."
    Kyle hadn't thought about the ceremony in a while. But it was next week. He was sure he'd get hero, but now everyone already knew his powers (though the bladder control was a secret).

    "Jen, step forward please and show your power,"
    She raised her hand and all of a sudden the schools electricity went out, and a storm began overhead.
    "Very good. Jen, Electrona, hero!"

    "Mary…"
    She raised to the stand before the sentence could be finished.
    "Bolt! Hero"

    "Trey!"
    He came forward and proved his ice powers. Regenerators could register before hand to show proof of that, but the school didn't want students harming themselves.
    "The Freeze! Hero!"

    "Simon!"
    "Fireworker! Hero"


    "Kyle"
    "The Big Baby! Villian!"

    Kyle woke up with a start. He had been breaking all the rules. Was he really the villain? Suddenly whether he was a hero or sidekick didn't matter much anymore. With a week left to the ceremony, he could only work at figuring out how to make amends.
    He started by apologizing to Mary. She quickly forgave him, but he heard her thinking, "No need. I kind of liked being a baby." He would definitely have fun if he asked her to the spring dance.

    He even tried to apologize to Simon, but Simon would have none of it.

    He did his best to work on his powers over the next week, figuring out how to use them for good instead. And on ceremony day, he was in fact given the name the Big Baby, but he was awarded a hero status. Mary, Jen and Trey all received sidekicks. It's not want he wanted, but Kyle realized that his idea of a team might work well, and they decided instead of their own individual hero names they would also take on a cool name for the team. They were the First Defenders, being the first super hero team since before the Krypton convention.

    When they heard Simon was doing the same thing with a group of his friends, the team knew they were in for a long fight.


  2. #2
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    Re: Super Hero High

    Not being a comic follower, I guess the idea that it was a ripoff was lost on me, and I found it fascinating enough to want to see another chapter.

  3. #3
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    Re: Super Hero High

    I liked it and I usually don't care for stories with male protagonists. It's a really good story idea.

  4. #4

    Re: Super Hero High


    Your story was definitely reminiscent of Sky High, but nothing like X-Men. I wouldn't worry too much about that.

    The only real problem I had with it was the way that it flowed. It went at a breakneck pace from start to finish. I didn't feel like I had enough time to sympathize with Kyle and I didn't really understand how or why the conflicts arose as they did. There are some places where important parts of your plot are skipped over because you don't pay any attention to your dialogue or slow down to really consider your scene. This may be a little hypercritical of me, but just the same, you should take your time.

    There was also a pretty big cheese factor, but I have a feeling that those elements were deliberate. Over all, I think you had an interesting idea, and I would have been curious to see more. I've often considered how to write a story with super hero elements myself, and I think the setting you used is just as good a platform as any.



    They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
    --Edgar Allen Poe, Eleonora

  5. #5
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    Re: Super Hero High

    Yep, its a pretty big ripoff. Still, interesting adaptation of the basic concept, though the protag seems to be getting a bit overpowered… oh well. I'd like to read more!

  6. #6
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    Re: Super Hero High

    Its hard to follow the other comments so I'll try something different. Do you have plans to make a sequel or sequels? If so you could totally Smallville this story; with each individual year he is in school being another story that's part of the whole. While the stream of new ideas for situations might run a little dry at times you could actually pull it off if you have a light at the end of the tunnel that you're working toward. Maybe a super-massive battle for the safety of humanity and Earth?

    Just my take. I did enjoy this story a lot, good job!
    A good author is someone who can separate their fears and secrets from themselves and write them down. Their biggest fans are usually those who can't.

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