The moonlight poured through the open window, the curtains blowing gently in the breeze. It had been a hot summer day, and now it was a warm summer night. Alexa couldn't sleep. She lay there gazing out the window. Though she wasn't sweating, she could almost feel her skin sticking to the sheets. The blankets were piled up down by her feet, as it was far too warm to bundle herself in them. The occasional breeze was the only thing that refreshed her.
There were tiny grains of sand throughout the sheets and sticking to her body. She could also feel sand in her unwashed salty hair. Her body felt lightly burned from the hot sun that had now gone. The breeze felt cool and soothing against her face.
She could hear her two younger cousins sleeping on the two other beds in the room, one on the bottom bunk, and one against the opposite wall. She thought about how different her spring break had turned out than she thought it would have.
You see, originally, she had been invited to her Aunt's to help take care of her younger cousins. Instead, she had become somewhat of an extra issue for her Aunt to worry over. It turns out, out of all of the children in the room, Alexa was the only one who still had accidents in her pants from time to time. And for that very reason, under the sheets, under her long t-shirt, she was now wearing a disposable baby diaper.
I know it sounds strange, that a young woman like Alexa would be wearing a diaper meant for a toddler, and Alexa almost couldn't believe it herself at times like this. She was wondering that exactly now…how did this all happen so fast?
She reached her hand down slowly, trying not to make any noise that would wake her young cousins. Her fingertips wandered over the diaper's padding, feeling it's bulkiness. She had almost gotten used to it over the last week and a half, but she never could fully accept it… The feeling of it cradling her bottom, the bulk of the padding between her thighs…
She pressed her fingers lightly against the padding, and then quickly moved her hand away blushing… Even when no one was around, she felt embarrassed wearing them. It felt childish, unfit for a grown young woman like her. It felt shameful that she needed to wear them, like evidence of some secret lack of maturity.
Even more embarrassing was the fact that she not only wore the diapers, as she did now, but she actually used them for their purpose as she was about to…
She looked out the window again and bit her bottom lip. Within seconds, Alexa was blushing. She could hear the telltale low hissing sound as she wet her diaper. The warmth spread throughout the diaper. Soon enough the diaper's padding would absorb it, swelling as it did.
The cool breeze came again, lightly blowing her salty hair. She looked out at the moon, closed her eyes and slept.
Knock. Knock. Knock. "Alexa, are you okay in there? We are all ready to go back to the house."
"One minute. I will be out in a second," Alexa called back to her Aunt through the bathroom door. She was somewhat frantic, holding her bathing suit bottoms under the sink faucet. She didn't like public bathrooms in general, but the current situation made it even worse.
Embarrassing as it was to think to herself, she had had an accident in her bathing suit and was trying to wash the smell out in the faucet.
It happened while making a sand castle with her cousins near the incoming tide. It just happened. She was kneeling on her knees on the sand, when she felt a warmth between her legs and streaming down her thighs. Knowing her aunt was sitting in a beach chair reading under the shade of an umbrella too far away to notice, Alexa quickly moved to cover up the accident, knowing her cousins didn't know. She immediately moved after it happened, piling up sand over the evidence, pretending nothing had happened. Just then, her Aunt had started calling to them, waving, signaling to get ready to go back to the house.
Now here she was, in the public beach family bathroom, washing the remaining evidence off her bikini bottoms. She wasn't sure if anyone could notice, but she wasn't taking chances.
It was Alexa's first day staying at her Aunt's beach house with her cousins, and she was here to help out with her Aunt's kids, showing how mature she had grown to be.
After being confident that any scent was out, she put the bottoms back on. She then wrapped herself in a towel before unlocking the door and joining her relatives.
"Sorry about that, I was just trying to get the sand out of my bathing suit," she explained ot her Aunt as they all walked to the parking lot. "Alexa, don't worry about that stuff. Just give me your bathing suit when we get home and I will take care of it," she smiled at her. "I know you are here partially to help with your younger cousins, but don't feel like you have to do everything yourself, make sure to relax as well."
Sam and Katie, Alexa's two younger cousins, ran toward the minivan racing to see who would get there first. They giggled as they ran, their light hair moving. "Don't run too fast you two, I don't want either of you falling down and getting hurt" their mother called out to them.
The two were twins, both seven years old. Though they were generally well behaved, they were also filled with energy just like all other children their age. For this reason, they consumed most of their mother's time. It was difficult enough being a single mother, as she was.
They all got into the car: the twins in the back seat, Alexa in the passenger seat, and her Aunt driving. The ride was not too long, the house was only about a quarter mile away from the beach, but they drove so that they could bring the beach chairs and everything else.
Alexa watched her two cousins playing in the back seat, laughing and playing pretend, when she felt an immediate urge. "I um…I…" she said, looking down. Her Aunt looked over at her, puzzled. "I think I have to go to the bathro-…" before Alexa finished her sentence, she felt it again. She could feel the warm spreading down her thighs, and now absorbing into the beach towel and fabric car seat below her bottom. She blushed in humiliation, not knowing what to say, as she felt it spread under her. Tears filled her eyes. The twins continued to play loudly, not realizing anything had happened. Her Aunt looked over at her,understanding what had happened, but not wanting to embarrass her any more than she had been already.
"Alexa, it was just an accident," she said looking forward as she drove. "Everything will be fine. I will clean it up once we get home." There was stress in her voice though, as she was thinking about how she would get the stain and odor out of the passenger seat. Didn't she have enough to worry about already? She tried to act calm.
They pulled into the driveway, and Alexa's aunt Brenda got out of the car with a sigh. Alexa stayed put, holding back from fully crying. Brenda let the twins out of the back seat, letting them into the house, then returned to help with Alexa.
Brenda opened the passenger side door. "I'm so sorry… It was an accident… It just…" Alexa started bawling, losing control of her emotions. "Shhhhh its okay sweetheart," Brenda said while she unlocked Alexa's seat belt. "Everything is okay," she said as she embraced her. "I know you didn't mean it. It isn't your fault Alexa," she consoled her, stroking her hair as she embraced her.
"Just get into the shower, and I will take care of this. Don't worry, it could happen to anyone," she reassured her. "Don't worry about the twins, they won't notice with your bathing suit. Just leave your bikini in the shower afterwards and I will take care of everything." Alexa tried to dry her eyes, as she got out of the car. Brenda took her wet towel and wrapped Alexa in her own dry one. "Don't worry, no one else will know."
Alexa walked to the shower, trying to regroup herself as she walked into the house. Behind her, her aunt bundled up the wet towel and inspected the huge wet mark on the passenger seat. As she walked in, her cousins were already playing video games, completely unaware of what had happened.
She went into the bathroom, closing the door.
The rest of the day had gone roughly. The whole night there was a nervous tension. Aunt Brenda mentioned nothing to Alexa about the accident, but there was an uneasiness even in her knowing it had happened. Every time Alexa saw that her aunt was looking at her, she blushed and quickly glanced away.
During dinner, the conversation had been awkward. The twins ate on the couch, watching a movie while both Alexa and her aunt Brenda tried to pretend nothing had happened. They sat at the table making small talk about the weather, the seagulls, and the shells at the beach.
The next morning, however, the tension could no longer be ignored. Alexa woke to a cold wet bed, as her alarm clock rang loudly. Exasperated, she turned off the alarm and quickly looked around the room to make sure neither of her cousins had noticed. Their beds were empty and she could her their voices outside playing with the other neighborhood kids.
Hearing the alarm, her aunt Brenda came into the room. Alexa was crying, and Brenda immediately understood what had happened. She pressed her lips together tightly, sighing. She wanted to act like it was all okay, but in reality she was already stressed enough. "I'm sorry sweety. Come down and take a shower, and I'll take care of the sheets," she instructed Alexa dryly.
All day Alexa could only think of the humiliation of it. Why was this happening? She used to wet the bed when she was in elementary school, but why was it happening again now? She wasn't a child. She had come to stay with her Aunt for spring break precisely to show her how mature she had grown. Her aunt had always seemed so pretty, strong, and independent and she had tried to emulate her.
She barely spoke for the rest of the day. There was a strong tension between her and her Aunt that even the young twins could feel. "What's wrong Alexa?" Sam asked her when she was watching television alone. "Why are you being sad?" Alexa replied that she was just feeling tired, and that she would play with them more later.
That night after the twins had gone off to sleep, and Alexa was still watching television, her aunt Brenda approached her, walking up behind the couch. "Can you come into my room sweety? I think we have to talk about something…"
It could no longer be ignored. The walk to her aunt's bedroom seemed to last forever. Her cheeks felt hot, her heart was beating fast in her chest. The sound of her aunt's shoes on the hardwood floor sounded rhythmically.
And then they were sitting on the bed. "Alexa, I know that these last few…incidents… were not your fault. I just want you to know that I don't think any less of you because of them," Brenda said as she placed her hand on Alexa's knee. Her voice sounded high, as if she were explaining something to a child.
She looked at Alexa, who was looking down at the floor, blushing. "But, I think part of being a young adult like yourself is taking responsibility for yourself. And I think part of that is making sure your actions, even accidents, don't cause unneeded stress and work for others. Don't you agree?" Alexa nodded, still blushing. "I said I was sorry, I didn't mean to do it," Alexa said quickly, starting to cry.
"Aw sweety. It's okay. I know you didn't mean to do it," she embraced Alexa, stroking her hair. "But I think after having two accidents, the only responsible action is to make sure to take precautions in case it happens again, right?"
Alexa nodded, crying into her aunt's bosom. "Now, I know you are going to think this is weird at first, but I have a package of large size diapers that I bought for the twins that were never small enough to fit them." At this point, Alexa started bawling. Her cheeks were burning. Her heart was heating like a little humming bird's. Her aunt paused. "I think it would be best if you tried one on now and wore it tonight. Just in case…"
Alexa just cried into her Aunt's shoulder, as Brenda tried to relax her, rubbing her back. "Shhh, its okay sweetheart. It is just in case. I am sure you won't need it."
Fifteen minutes later, Alexa had calmed enough and her aunt was handing her the diaper. It looked so childish. It was colorful and had pictures of cartoon characters on them. Alexa's blush intensified as she felt the padding in her hands. They were thick. The feel of the outside of the diaper invoked strange memories inside her head, things she hadn't thought about for years. Thought's of childhood. Things behind her that she somehow missed.
"You can just go into my bathroom and try them on sweetheart," Brenda gently commanded. "You know how to put a diaper on right?" Alexa nodded bashfully, she had babysat a few neighborhood toddlers over the years.
Inside the bathroom she removed her pants and underwear, unfolding the diaper and placing it between her legs. She was overwhelmed with childish feelings mixed with embarrassment. Her aunt was standing directly outside the door waiting.
Alexa taped the diaper on clumsily. The feeling was unreal. After getting the disposable baby diaper on she paused, overwhelmed by the feelings. The padding cradled her behind, snug between her legs. She started to feel a longing for something…
"Alexa, does it fit?" her aunt whispered through the door. Alexa responded bashfully that she would be out soon, as she tried pulling her jeans up over the diaper. It barely fit over, but it did, though there was an apparent bulge. Dressed, she opened the door.
Her aunt was a bit puzzled seeing her fully dressed, "Do you have it on sweetheart?" Alexa nodded blushing. "Let me see, I have to make sure it is on correctly."
Alexa unzipped her jeans and pulled them down to her thighs, revealing the diaper. She was overcome with embarrassment as her aunt inspected the fit, fiddling with the tabs and all. "I think it fits well on you," she said smiling.
She woke up in the middle of the night that evening. Noticing the diaper, she gasped lightly in surprise, somehow forgetting she even had it on.
She reached her hand down to feel it. It felt so strange. Mixed feelings of shame and curiosity. The padding had swollen between her legs, as she had wet the diaper in her sleep. She blushed thinking about it, hoping that aunt Brenda wouldn't find out.
The swollen saturated padding felt oddly comforting in a way. She explored that feeling, closing her eyes.
She imagined she was a toddler again, laying in a crib in her diapers. She was wet but mommy was going to come to change her. The thought warmed her, but then a tinge of shame overcame her. She was a grown young woman, why did it feel so comforting?
She looked out the window, feeling the ocean breeze coming through it. She closed her eyes.
She dreamed of being a toddler again. Being the center of attention. Being free of responsibility. Free to be herself.
In her groggy half dream state, she felt a growing pressure in her bottom. This feeling triggered a thought. Why should I get out of bed, I already used the diaper anyway…right? I can just throw it away in the morning and no one will know…
She thought about it in her dream state. For some reason, the thought of using her diaper for such a childish thing felt oddly alluring. Not fully thinking, she turned over onto her stomach, lifting her diapered bottom under the sheets.
She began to grunt quietly, pushing. After a minute, she slowly began filling the seat of her diaper. She felt so shameful, but also exhilarated. She gasped and grunted lightly, feeling the mess spread across her bottom in the baby diaper.
Once she was done, she noticed she had been sucking on her thumb the whole time. She felt so naughty but exhilarated. The feeling was so intense, the toddler mess pressed against her bottom. She closed her eyes sucking on her thumb, basking in the feeling. Before she knew it, she was asleep…
Alexa woke up groggily, rubbing her eyes.
Alexa stretched, yawning.
"Sweety. I think you had an accident."
Alexa could feel her aunt's hand hefting the swollen bulk of the diaper against her, checking to make sure it was used. She blushed hot pink when she realized what she had done.
Alexa was on her stomach and her Aunt was pulling back the elastic on the diaper to peek inside. "Sweetheart, how did this happen?"
Alexa's eyes began to fill with tears.