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Thread: Unconventional Solutions - 13

  1. #31

    Re: Unconventional Solutions - 9

    10.

    Allen fits up my diaper tugging it around to center it. This one’s incredibly crinkly. I focus my ears listening to every noise it produces. Finally, he tugs on my diaper pulling it down to the right level on my butt.

    I feel the diaper gathers tugging at the creases between my ass and legs as Allen pulls the diaper up. He lays the front of the diaper over my crotch and I know it’s not one of my Luvs. Struggling to keep my eyes closed, Allen cups my crotch to see where the front waist will lay. His hand shifts to my waist holding the diaper in the center.

    My man’s a diapering professional… mhmmmm

    He tucks the left front side in around my hip and tugs the back over the front panel. Allen abandons his hold on the middle of my waist, and tugs the front side for a tighter fit. He repeats the process on the other side completing the fitting.

    I wiggle my ass in this larger diaper enjoying the feeling of a properly sized one. It tugs and pulls in the directions of the tapes and across my waist. It feels amazingly tight and secure. I pinch my legs together bunching the diaper up between them. It crinkles seductively as I move my legs like a cricket.

    Allen parts my legs and lies lightly on top of me. He kisses my heart up into my throat. I drape my arms around his neck and peck his cheek.

    “Babe, Molly.” I say pushing him up smacking at his chest and standing up.
    “What am I wearing?” I ask looking down at my fully diapered ass.
    “I don’t know, I didn’t look. They were in the bag with your trash pads.”
    “Oh, I forgot I bought those. I was too pissed at the pads. I thought you’d bought me something.”
    “Bawahahaha!” Allen laughs.
    “What’s so funny?”
    “You said pissed at your pads that you just peed in.”
    “Oh pissed, I didn’t mean that as a joke. I get it.”
    “Oh crap… still funny though.”
    “Hey before you go… what bottoms?”
    “Uh…” He stalls looking his options over.
    “Oh! The overalls for sure. No doubt.”

    Allen takes off for the living room to check on our little Phone Zombie. I stand up and run to the full length mirror in the closet. I spin, turn, jump, bend, and gaze at myself in the mirror. I feel awesome. I feel sexy and desirable, and I feel fucking silly. I shrug off the silly and just go with happy.

    I tug the overalls up and clip the bibs in place. I check myself in the mirror again. I haven’t purposefully dressed cute in a good long while. I have to actually work at looking my age. An older looking girl stares back at me in the mirror. She’s a cute girl, maybe in her late. She sure doesn’t look like a mid-twenties mother!

    I giggle behind my hand and clap. I jump a few times feeling my bouncy bangs dance around my face. I laugh and bend over touching my toes. I can hear the diaper crinkling away loudly. It’s not as prolific as it was before I put on the overalls, but I can hear it more than I’m comfortable with.

    Oh, I love how this feels. God, my hips are getting a clammy already though. Gonna have to fix that.

    I head toward the door pondering the clammy heat around my waist and notice the noise the diaper is making is beyond my tolerance.

    Yeah, nope… not running around crinkling this much. Hmmm… What to do? I think tapping my chin.

    I go back to the laundry room inspired. I pull one of my new tops off of a pile of laundry. Pulling a baby blue onesie over my head thrills me. The cut of the onesie leaves it poking out around the collar of my shirt with the overalls, in turn, covering up the decal on pony shirt. Ultimately, I decide to peel off the pony shirt throwing in the load I’d pulled the blue onesie from after fastening up my overalls.

    I make my way back toward my bedroom having spent a totally conspicuous amount of time by myself at this point. I feel like I need to hurry and get out there with my family but walking by Molly’s room, I catch a whiff of baby powder and ammonia. The smell of pee is there, but faint. The biggest smell is the baby powder.

    I tip-toe in there and grab one of her many containers of baby powder. Back in my room, I slide my overalls down my ankles and unbutton my snap crotch pulling it up under my chin. I poof out some powder into my hand lightly coating powder around my own hips.

    Oh, now that’s better. Seems to be breathing fine where the padding is heavy… weird! Better run my hand around my belly too. Nice! This is… OMG! I can’t believe how good it feels to wear a diaper that really fits me! Hell, this may even be a bit too big. Better poof my pussy too!

    I button my blue onesie wishing I hadn’t gotten the whites load going first. I could have worn the pony shirt. I don’t like the blue with my purple nails, but the Pony top worked great with them. I pull up my overalls and button the bib leaving my feet bare.

    Girl’s gotta show off dem toes! I laugh at myself wiggling them in the carpet.

    I really stare at myself in my mirror getting ready to leave my room. I see a toned seventeen year old version of myself staring back. The baggy overalls and the updo really bring down my age. My loud purple eyeshadow also shaves off another year or two. I love the dangling brown curls framing my face. My dark eyes look a little moody and mysterious with the darker eyeshadow.

    I look like an Emo teenager trying to dress like a little girl… I giggle at my image.

    It’s ironic that in reality, I’m a twenty-four year old mother who looks like a teenage lady trying to dress like a twelve year old girl. Even given the visual Mobius strip I’m creating, I feel as sexy as hell. It is very odd to look in the mirror at the image I cut, and yet feel as sexy as a nearly naked cat girl on Halloween!

    I trust-fall onto my bed and roll around a little bit. The noise from the Depends is considerably lessoned with my onesie. With the TV on, or any background noise at all, the crinkle will totally fade away.

    I should probably feel guilty, but everyone will just assume its Molly, even if they hear something. Well, except at work…hahaha!

    I stood pausing just a moment at the outrageous thought. I have a hard time imagining wearing a diaper of any kind at work, and yet, an equally hard time going that long without one. I can’t tell if I feel out of control, or that I’ve already accepted this as something I want. It’s a pleasant coincidence that Allen seems to be getting off on it. At least we can be strange together!

    “What do you guys want for lunch?” I ask the living room where Molly is playing ABC Mouse while Allen reads away on his Galaxy tablet.

    At least THAT has some educational value. I think watching her tap away at her alphabet.

    Occasionally, I feel guilty about her tech time. All the “Pros” at raising kids tell you exactly what’s appropriate for everyone’s kids and circumstances. I try to make sure she plays her educational games as much as watching Kids YouTube or one of her games. We color, play, read, and talk in a good balance for us! Molly wakes me up from my soapbox daydream.

    “Pitha!” Molly screams looking quickly back at her tablet.
    “We had pizza last night. Nope.”
    “I’m not super hungry Robin.” Allen admits.
    “Yeah me either, but it’s like one. I’m not cooking till six-ish.”
    “How about a sandwich?” He asks.
    “Yeah. That’ll work. Molls, you want PB&J?”
    “Pleassse.” Molly begs.
    “You got it kiddo. Allen, I’m gonna do a small turkey and mayo. Can I get you something?”
    “Really? Thought I’d be fixing my own…” He chuckles.
    “You’re not in that much trouble. Besides, I’m feeling pretty awesome right now.”
    “Good. You’re looking pretty awesome too. Just don’t tell your older sister you’re hanging out with us. My wife gets jealous.”
    “God, Allen.” I bark in laughter. “Your dad-jokes are getting stronger.” I mumble.

    I turn to start setting out the sandwich stuff and Allen suddenly grabs me in a hug from behind. His hands invade my overalls trailing down over my not-quite-toned stomach. I feel the bump as his hand hits the onesie covered front of my diaper. It makes him shudder.

    “I bet you look super cute without the overalls on.” He purrs.
    “You know I do, but the cut of this onesie doesn’t fit the diaper to well. It’s hanging out on the sides. I look like a toddler wearing her mom’s panties, but I freaking love the feeling, all mushed up. Thanks for changing me earlier. Sorry I got snippy.”
    “Sorry I was an ass.” We laugh at each other’s apology.
    “I don’t know where this is going Rob, but I fucking love where it is right now. Make sure you let me know what’s not OK as you figure it out. I don’t like pissing you off, or when you’re mad at me.”
    “I will. I tried sucking my thumb.” I dangle.
    “And, did Princess Mommy like that?”
    “No and I don’t think I like that tone in your voice either. I’m not our daughter or some kid here.” I say politely.
    “Shit sorry.” Allen moves to stand up and withdraw his hand.
    “No stay. I’m not mad. You told me to tell you. I was just telling you.” I grind my pelvis against his hand.
    “Will you wet this one?”
    “Of course. That’s how I got here. I’m dying to know if it’ll hold.” I giggle and moan at the same time.
    “Let me know when it happens in case I have to go distract Molly. No sense in her seeing that.”
    “Yeah. That’s the idea behind these onesies too. They are diaper mufflers!” I admit.

    He stands up kisses the top of my head telling me I look cute before leaving the room. Allen smacks my padded rear end as he goes. I smile enjoying the attention. It’s so normal and yet abnormal with the diapers. Everything, and I mean everything, feels like a new sexy secret.

    Every move I make, every step I take, he’s watching me. Hahahaah, I crack myself up!

    “Hey let’s eat in here guys!” I yell to the living room.

    We pile up at the table not saying much. I log Molly out of her educational tool and put on Pandora putting it on the bar. Molly and I eat and color some more while Allen reads and eats his sandwich. We have a super terrific peaceful family time singing and eating.

    “Mommy, I wanna bow bubbles.”
    “Sounds good to me. How bout you Daddy?”
    “Good idea girls. Molly, I want to BLOW bubbles.”

  2. #32

    Re: Unconventional Solutions - 10

    11.

    We head outside as a family. It’s bubble time! Molly has like a million little bubble blowing toys. She has a hard time settling on one toy at a time. I’m almost certain she’s got A.D.D. watching her hover over all the options. She attacks the large Tupperware with her bubble stuff taking out a bubble hoop.

    It’s a bit chilly outside today, barely seventy-five degrees, and I’m just a little too cool in the shade of our covered porch. I move sitting on the edge of the porch by Molly. The sun feels amazing. Allen joins us after a bit with some drinks taking his seat at the picnic table in the shade of the porch.

    Guess what he does… got it in one! He pulls out his tablet and starts reading.

    “Your wizards and werewolves keeping you company over there?”
    “I’m reading a Star Wars book…” He says raising an eyebrow.
    “Fine. Bubbles and girls are way more fun… Are your wookies and porgs keeping you company?”
    “Good company thanks.” He sasses me back.
    “and there’s no porgs in this book! God I hope those aren’t another Ewok Species.”
    “I loved the Ewoks! They are cuddly and deadly!”
    “Blasphemy! How could a feral teddy bear kill a futuristic soldier in body armor!” He scoffs.
    “I can’t wait to get a stuffed porg for the bed and a six inch one to put with my Jar Jar! Oh! Molly will need one too.” I giggle losing my serious tone.
    “What’s funny Mommy?”
    “Daddy baby. Daddy is funny!” We both laugh at Allen, each for our own reasons.
    “We need to start screening those with her ya know. I was thinking of taking her in December.” Allen adds hopefully.
    “Yeah, The Last Force is coming out then right?” I tease.
    “The Last Jedi.”
    “Whatever…” God, it’s easy to rile him up.

    ***Insert 5 min very motivated tirade on how awesome Star Wars is here***
    (Not sure what he said. I was smiling too hard to hear him!)

    “Ok babe, Ok! It’ll be fun to watch Molly see the porgs. God I hope Chewy doesn’t eat one!”
    “GRAH!” He pretends to rage.

    I do everything I can to rile him up about his fiction. I can’t help it! He just takes it so seriously. I have picked up a thing or two over the years, but mostly just what his hot button topics are. I own a Jar Jar Binks six inch toy just to annoy Allen.

    “Eep!” I squeal seeing him rock forward to get up.

    I sprint out into the yard running from my fanatic of a husband. The guy’s as big as a wookie! You’d run too if he thundered across the deck after you!

    Molly gets up chasing after Allen who’s chasing after me. Molls laughs so hard she can barely run. I can feel my diaper warming up around my hips. I’m thankful for the powder I used earlier. Allen is a typical ex-football guy. He has large grass eating strides, but not classically quick or maneuverable. I am. I’m quick and maneuverable as hell!

    We race around the front yard laughing, giggling, and with Allen thundering behind me pretending to be mad. Our neighbors undoubtedly think we are nuts, funny, but nuts for sure!

    That fun comes to a jarring halt when I step in a mole-run or something. The grass beneath my foot collapses under me. I twist my ankle in terrible unintended and hit the ground hard. Well, I hit hard, but not as hard as it would have, cause you know… diaper!

    I hear a tremendous pop and then pain radiates through me. It hurts, but the whole thing is so fucking funny that I can’t quit laughing even though tears streaming down my cheeks. I roll over and lay on the grass putting my injured leg on the knee of the good leg letting it dangle.

    “God Rob, are you ok baby?”
    “Nope, hurts.” I sniffle.
    “Mommy gonna go to da hospital?”
    “I hope not Princess. Let me have a look baby.”
    “Just… don’t move it, or touch it, or look at it. Damn!”

    Just under fifty minutes later, we pull in at the hospital’s emergency room. There’s an ace bandaged wrapped around my barefoot and the bottom of my overall pant leg. Allen parks the car under the awning and picks me up sitting me and Molly down in the waiting room.

    “Al, prop it up for me honey.”
    “K, then I’ll move the car.”
    “I’m so sorry, I love you.” I tell him.
    “Oh Robin, I love you so much. This isn’t your fault, don’t apologize. Fucking feel like Bill Murry in Caddyshack.”
    “But our weekend. God my foot is throbbing. I hate moles.”

    I give up trying to be the adult here. I sit Molly in my lap as she hugs me tightly. I sniffle into her hair amazed at the pain in my leg. Allen shuffles uncertain of what he should do. He needs to move the car… and register me… and comfort me. He’s uncomfortable with the whole situation and having a hard time deciding what to do first.

    “Baby… I… Shit, I’ll be right back.” He says finally committing to parking the car first.
    “Ummm… Daaddyy!” Molly tuts.

    All I could really do is look at him and let the tears trickle down my face. Shooting wicked arcs of pain radiate from my ankle down into my big toe. I can still wiggle my foot so Allen didn’t think my leg was broken, but there is something structurally wrong with my toe. It doesn’t look like it’s laying the way it should anymore. He knows I’m a pretty tough chick. I can handle pain, and my failure to handle this pain is freaking him out.

    Allen sprints out of the room, the doors slowing him down while he waits on them to open. I lean my head back wiping my eyes while rubbing Molly’s back. I don’t mean to scare her, but it’s impossible to push all this pain aside.

    “Mommy is ok?” She asks.
    “No not yet, but that’s why we are here baby. They’ll fix me up.”
    “You gonna gets crutches?”
    “Probably, but not right away. They will tell me to stay off my ouchies for a while.”
    “Girls, I’m back. Molly I have to go tell them Mommy’s here.”

    Allen rushes over to the ER Nurse’s intake window. He’s up there for a while filling out paperwork and describing my injuries. My phone chirps a Jawa sound after a bit of writing on his part.

    [Allen] Hey, I need your social and date of birth.
    [Me] 555-55-5555, *raised eye emoji*
    [Allen] nvmd on your date of birth… I figured it out.
    [Me] good!
    [Allen] Almost done baby. We’ll get in pretty fast she says.
    [Me] *crybaby face emoji*

    “Allen, unwrap this. It’s too tight. Fold up my pants so I don’t have to take them off.” I make eye contact with him. Allen suddenly remembers my unconventional underwear.
    “Alright, if it hurts tell me.”
    “Should I just start screaming and not stop until you’re done?” I ask arching my eyebrow.

    The nurse comes out calling my name and Allen just picks me up. He holds me like a baby with my arms around his neck and face in his chest. My big toe is already turning some very unflattering colors clashing with my polish, which unreasonably pisses me off on top of the pain. He doesn’t have an arm to hold Molly’s hand with so, he shifts me around in a baby monkey hold my good leg wrapped around his waist.

    I keep my arms draped around his neck and straddle his stomach with one of his hands under my diapered ass. It is a super embarrassing way to be hauled around! We follow the nurse into a room and he sits me down on a paper covered exam table.

    We wait about fifteen more minutes with nurses and others coming in and out of the room. The doctor comes in like a paperwork tornado. He pokes and prods at my ankle, leg, foot, and toe. I hold up, but I can’t pull back the tears, that shit freaking hurts.

    “I’m fairly certain you have a severely fractured big toe. I think it’s dislocated too. I’m sending you for x-rays of your toe and ankle. The bruising is already starting up. That’s pretty quick. It’ll be a nasty sprain if nothing else. I’ll have a nurse clean up your foot before you go in.

    Your ankle is at least a high sprain and may have some hairline fractures as well, but nothing is massively out of place there. If your toe is dislocated, I’ll have to reduce it before we get you out of here. You’re looking at maybe casts for sure walking boot. The x-rays will tell.”

    He pats my knee calling for his nurse. The ibu I’d swallowed at home finally starts kicking in. I feel a layer or two the pain peeling back as the nurse cleans my feet. It is super weird and I don’t my like feet anyway, so I’m very uncomfortable. I focus on talking to Allen and Molly instead.

    “Stop squirming Rob. She’ll be done in a bit.” Allen comforts me. He turns to the nurse, “She doesn’t like feet.”

    A bit later they wheel me into x-ray leaving Allen and Molly in the waiting room. They painfully articulate my ankle snapping two of the toe and four of the ankle. I thoroughly wet my diaper while trying to hold my ankle in a bad angle that ramps up my pain.

    Back in the emergency treatment room, “Allen” I whisper. “I’m soaked. I’m super worried I’m going to leak. What the hell do we do?

  3. #33

    Re: Unconventional Solutions - 10

    12.

    I’m genuinely terrified, but Allen doesn’t appear to have any answers for me. Worse yet, it doesn’t look like I’m getting out of here any time soon. So, we sit and wait on the doctor while I worry anxiously over my wet butt.

    Molls starts getting impatient fidgeting and starting to whine. Of course, that does nothing positive for my mood! Now I have a soggy ass and a kid that is about to lose her cool. Allen picks her up smiling at me. He sits her beside me in the hospital bed while breaking out his phone.

    I guess she was quiet longer than I thought she would be. I love you so much Doodlebug! I can’t wait for you to grow out of this awful whining stage though. Lord, it’s annoying.

    Shit. I’m whining too. I think as I realize I’m pouting. The edges of my mouth twerk up and I smile to myself.

    We’re still waiting when I feel the need to pee rise. Everything I’d drank at lunch and outside before my “foot thing” calls knocking at my bladders door. I “psst” at Allen catching his attention and motioning toward my diapered crotch with my eyes. I release a little pressure and sigh letting him know that I was wetting right then.

    I see the comprehension in Allen’s face. He moves Molly to the chair and checks the hospital door. Finding it fully closed, he comes to stand by my head. He leans in and picks me up gingerly.

    “Why don’t you just finish really fast? Then I’ll take it off of you and clean you up. You can go commando till we get out’a here.”
    “That’ll work. Hey, just sit me on the toilet… I can finish there.” I whisper out loud improving his plan cause there wasn’t any sense in wetting my overalls.

    Why the hell didn’t I think of that…?

    Because you don’t want to be without one! That’s why you twat… I bash myself.

    Answering your own mental questions is the first sign of insanity? I narrate internally. Then I mentally laugh at myself causing a physical laughing to trickle out into Allen’s shoulder.

    Allen sits me on the humongous hospital potty. I undo my overall bibs and hold myself up off the toilet while he tugs them down to my ankles. I look up at Allen with a mischievous look on my face and wet the diaper before he can pull it off me. As I’d feared, I over flow my protection hearing my water meet the toilet’s.

    Good call Princess Mommy! I think to myself.

    “You done yet?” Allen asks chuckling.
    “Yeah, hey look there! There’s wipes in here.” I point.
    “Got ya.”

    I don’t go commando very often, particularly in jean material! There are some delicate bits that should never suffer the indignity of blue jean friction. I can almost feel the furrows forming in my ass cheeks leaving funny prints in my skin.

    Redressed and cleaned up, Allen deposits me on the bed. I adjust my overalls moving and tugging the crotch trying to make sure no jean seams line up with my own!

    The doctor knocks once rapidly and sliding in the room. He puts the X-Ray’s on the wall unit lighting it up. He smiles at us grabbing his rolling doctor’s stool and scooting over to my bed side. Allen drops Molly in his lap and silences the phone preparing to listen to the doctor.

    “Well, I have good news and bad news!” The doctor breaks the strained silence.
    I sigh at his response, “Well, let’s start with the bad news!”
    “K, Good news. Your leg isn’t broken, but your toe sure is!” He says.
    “I wanted the bad news first!” I huff.
    “Well, the bad news is your leg isn’t broken!” He dead pans.
    “I don’t understand.” Allen says.
    “Well, my diagnosis is a high ankle sprain with a tearing of the ligaments between the tibia and fibula. Frankly, it’s more painful and is a longer recovery than a brake. In fact, most patients with this injury require physical therapy to get back in motion.” He concludes.
    “Well, that’s not good. Short term?” Allen asks.

    We talk for about thirty minutes while the doctor reduces my toe. The pain causes me to lurch forward in the bed. I feel the crotch of my overalls dampen. I immediately flush red color swamping my features. The guys simply believe it’s my reaction to the pain, but it’s not. It’s a insane feeling of embarrassment.

    Son of a BITCH! I yell internally.

    In the end, I wind up without a cast! They have this wrap-splint thing for my foot that stabilizes my toe and a high ankle walking boot for the sprain. I’m stuck 24/7 in the boot for four weeks and in the toe cast-wrap-splint-thing for the same. The doctor suspects that I’ll be in the boot for another six to eight weeks tapering off after the initial four weeks.

    The hospital insists that I ride a wheel chair to the emergency room outdoor pickup. I don’t fight them, but I can feel myself piddle when the orderly helps me up and then I sit into the chair. Allen picks up Molly trailing us out of the ER treatment area.

    I sit with the orderly while Allen grabs the car. We make a bit of small talk, or I try to. It seems like I have too or somehow he’d know that I’d wet myself.

    This is why I always wear a pad! Fuck! I yell inside fully of anger and shame. God, I just want to be home and cleaned up!

    Allen pulls up and hops out. Molly waves frantically at me. I wave back at her shyly. The orderly helps me to stand as he comes around our car. I turn around facing the orderly who smiles gently at me.

    “Sir?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Do you have a towel or something? If you don’t, I can get a trash bag or something for your wife.” The orderly murmurs.
    “I… Uh…” I stutter mortified.
    “We keep a towel in here for our daughter. I’ll get it.” Allen says walking to the back of the car and popping the trunk.
    “Oh. My. God. I’m… I can’t…” I flounder for words.
    “Oh Ma’am. Don’t worry about it. Stuff happens all the time. We have to sanitize these between each patient anyway. There’s no extra work and you don’t have to be embarrassed.” He tells me.
    “I can’t help it. This is so embarrassing.”
    “Can I give you a hug?” The fatherly large blonde orderly asks me.
    “I guess.”
    He leans in, “Listen, no one comes here because everything is fine.” He releases me.
    “We’re like IT. No one calls those guys when their computers are working fine just to say ‘Hey, my PC is working great and screaming fast!’ Nope, folks come here messed up. We try to send them home better than they arrived. That’s all we are hoping for. I’ve seen much worse. Please try not to feel to bad.”
    “Thanks man. She needed that, but she’s still gonna moan for days about this.”
    “She’s right. the. Fuck. HERE!” Anger is easier than embarrassment. So I go with anger.
    “Awe, here let me help you up Rob. We’ll get you home and cleaned up!” Allen says lifting me into the car.
    “Ya’ll take care now!” The orderly says turning his back and waving at us.

    It is late afternoon by the time we pull up into our driveway. Allen gets Molly to grab my purse and he carries me into the house directly to our bed.

    I sigh and take another round of Ibu. I’d taken the good stuff the ER doc prescribed immediately after we picked it up at Walgreens on the way home, but it hasn’t kicked in yet. I sag into our soft bed happy to be home, but injured and whiney about it lying on another towel.

    “On the bright side, you love skirts!” Allen teases.
    “I do, but I love my jeans more!” I pout.
    “Are you in a lot of pain right now?”
    “I think that stuff the doctor gave me is kicking in. I feel sleepy and tingly. Like my fingers are waking up from falling asleep.” I tell him snapping my fingers.
    “Sounds like it.” Allen chuckles.

    He diapers me with the same tender care he did the first time. I relax even further lying on the fluffy bead in my fluffy diaper elated to be dry. I put my arms out to the side making a comforter snow angle and giggle at the ceiling.

    God, I’m high as fuck… hehehehe I realize and find hilarious.

    “Yeah, I think you are hon.” Allen agrees.
    “Was that out loud?” I ask with wide eyes.
    “Yeah.” He laughs at me.
    “I hate this.” I whimper.
    “I know. You just can’t stand not being in control can you?” He laughs.
    “Well, I mean… yeah. Mine! All of it… hahaha.” I laugh.
    “You staying in here or coming out there?” He asks.
    “I don’t wanna be all loopy in front of Doodlebug.”
    “I get it. You just gonna lay there in your bra and diaper? Want some more clothes?”
    “Uh… yeah rotate the laundry. Remember coldy-cold water for da colors man.” I try for a suffer guy voice.
    “Oh man, I’m sad I’m gonna miss this. You’ll adjust though. You’ll be fine tomorrow I bet.” He assures me.
    “Leave me here until the whites dry up. I wanna wear a onesie, but I’ll stay here under the covers until then. Maybe take a nap.” I try to roll on my side.
    “Let’s get you covered up Princess Mommy.” Allen reassures me patting my butt.
    “Don’t forget to change me. I’m totally not getting up for peeing in this thing. Hey bring me my phone and put the charger in here… pppppwease.” I let him tuck me in like a kid and quickly drift off to sleep.

  4. #34

    Re: Unconventional Solutions - 12

    13.

    I sleep poorly under the influence of the prescription medicine. I missed the dead-to-the-world sleep like I normally get. Instead, I got one of those naps where you surface checking the clock every few minutes. I can’t toss and turn like I normally would. I’m a roller, but my damn boot acts like an anchor keeping me from resting. Totally unsatisfying!

    This nap is turning out to be more trouble than it’s worth…

    Normally I wake up with my pad a bit damp. It’s not like I’m sleep wetting or anything, but more like a series of piddles throughout my wiggly sleep. My pad isn’t soaked nor do I wet my bed, but my pads are almost always a little squishy. I feel like it happens because of my restless body syndrome (I’m self-diagnosed!) I figure when I’m rolling around in my bed the movement releases a bit of pee no matter what I do.

    I blink my eyes trying to shake off the medicinal haze and lack of a real rest. I reach out slapping around for my cell phone wishing I had force powers like in Allen’s movies. Finally finding it, I sit the phone on my chest after checking the time, apparently its 8:30pm.

    Molly should be in bed by now. Wonder if muh Man is still in the living room.

    [Me] So… what’s a girl gotta do ta get sumpin ta eat?
    [Allen] What are ya offering? I could think of a few fun things…
    [Allen] Seeing any pink elephants?
    [Me] God what did I do? Was it as bad as those dentist videos?
    [Allen] Nowhere close.
    [Allen] Still very amusing.
    [Me] Does that mean I have already entertained you enough to get some food?
    [Allen] I’ll feed ya either way. Wanna get out of there a while or soup in bed?
    [Allen] Also, this is way better than yelling and waking up the kiddo.
    [Me] I know right. How’d our parents do this?
    [Me] I’d like to get out of this bedroom, but uh…

    I pause no knowing exactly how to ask my next question…

    [Allen] … yes?
    [Me] can I get a change first?
    [Allen] Change of what?
    [Me] You know.
    [Allen] I have no idea what you’re talking about.
    [Me] Shit… don’t make me say it.
    [Allen] Type it baby you can do it.
    [Me] Diaper *stick tongue out emoji*
    [Allen] What about it baby?
    [Me] Don’t push me. I am the vaginal control tower. I can deny your entry codes way longer than you can circle the airport without crashing.
    [Allen] This pussy monopoly must stop! Baby will you help me make some protest signs?
    [Me] Yeah, protest that at city call. Husband’s Vaginal Visitation Rights. OMG! That would be fucking hilarious.
    [Allen] *Gasp emoji* what were we talking about?
    [Me] Will you come change my diaper and carry me to the living room?
    [Allen] Gotcha, see that was way easier than being the woman behind men’s vagina suffrage.
    [Me] I feel like I’ve been setup.
    [Allen] It’s possible. Daddy Diaper Service on the way.

    I could hear Allen in a light jog coming down the hall. I looked down at my chest again to see that he’d put me in one of my white onesies. It feels dry. Least he didn’t screw the laundry up.

    I reach down and pinch the diaper beneath the material. It feels a little squishy, but I just don’t see the point in sitting around in a wet diaper! Being all bed ridden and immoble seems like an invitation to diaper rash!

    Better send Allen for some baby oil and powder when he gets here. Ain’t no body gots no time fo dat!

    “Daddy Diaper Services at your…” he draws a blank “service?” he asks laughing and raising his eyebrow.
    “Allen.” I say exasperated. “May I have a clean ass and dry butt and a sausage Totino’s?”
    “Of course you can Princess Mommy!”
    “Allen…”
    “Yes dear.”
    “Much better. Hey grab some baby oil and baby powder from Molly’s room while you run out to pre-heat the oven. Uh… feel free to make yourself one to. You know, if you’re hungry. Sorry babe. Ah… also I like my pizza rack backed and crispy.”
    “Sorry for what?” he asks.
    “I don’t know. I feel bad bossing you around. I stay at home and don’t work as much so I can do that stuff for you, well, most of the time. But, I just don’t know how to beat around the bush and be all polite and stuff.”
    “That’s why you’re the boss lady not the worker bee dear. Those idiots you work with couldn’t tie their shoes without you. That’s why they had to ask my big Princess for help even though she put in her notice years ago.” He coos.
    “Pfft. Fat lot of good quitting did. I may work less hours, but the problems are all more complicated now. I suppose I should just be grateful I’m only solving the big problems not all of them anymore. Hey, I have a great team! They haven’t called me all weekend and I have a board report on Monday. That’s saying something!”
    “How you gonna do that baby?”
    “Shit.” I crow.
    “Guess you need your laptop in the living room too?” Allen says.
    “Come here and kiss me my smarty pants man.”

    He kisses me. It imbues woman feelings not the toddler I’m dressed up as. Don’t get me wrong. I love my diapers. I like my onesies. It’s just that in my mind they are a convenient sexy way to turn my man on and… I don’t know. Unique?

    Allen comes back with the baby oil and baby powder. I guide him through changing my diaper. Sure the principles are the same, but I want him to be extra careful not to get any powder in me while he’s dusting the baby oil. I want my baby oil rubbed in just right and a touch in the creases of my legs to help keep the noise down on the plastic shell of my diaper. That little bit of oil helps with the friction too!

    “All aboard the Allen Express.” He bellows standing up.

    Fucking Goofball. I think laughing to myself.

    If he hadn’t just rushed me to the emergency room and taken care of everything in that crisis, I’d swear he was a twelve year old boy. He hardly ever takes anything seriously. I suppose it’s a blessing though. I tend to be a bit too focused and a bit too serious. Maybe we are a bit like the light and dark side of the force bringing each other into balance.

    I laugh. Allen picks me up as if I weigh nothing. My legs drape over his right arm at the knee. The boot feels like a dead weight just lying there. I have nothing but pain and weakness available to me when I try to move it. The most annoying thing is the apparatus keeping my broken big toe locked into place. I swear it’s giving me big toe claustrophobia! I ached to scrunch it up and relieve the unnatural feeling.

    “Princess Mommy, your ass is bound and determined to make racket tonight.”
    “I know. These depends are crinkly as hell.” I acknowledge then mumble, “I like the noise.
    “Huh. Didn’t get that.”
    “Nothing.”
    “Nothing sure sounds like, ‘I don’t want to tell Allen what I said and my poor pizza will just have to sit in the oven burning to a crisp since I’m so sensitive and stubborn’.” He mocks me with a parody of my own voice.
    “Not the pizza! Geneva conventions man!” I slap at his chest giggling.
    “Maybe for the pizza, but smelling it burn is a good punishment for not telling Daddy what you said.” He chuckles.
    “But I’m so hungry…” I whine.
    “Then tell me what you said.” He insists cheerfully starting to spin me in circles.
    “I said that I like the sound. I hear it with Molly. I hear it with these a lot. Molly’s have a sort of fabric looking plastic on the outside. It’s not as loud, but the crinkles remind me what I’m wearing each time.” I admit. “And I like it.”
    “Well, if you like them and you know I love them… I don’t see you out of them any time soon. Do we need to go burning man on your underwear drawer?” Allen chuckles.
    “This is what you prefer me to wear?” I ask. “Really?”
    “Yeah baby. How many other full-grown-ass women do you know that are wearing diapers for their men? It’s super fucking sexy to know you’re wearing it for me.”
    “Normal women wear crotchless panties or a wireless vibrator or something to turn their men on.” I deadpan.
    “Yeah but this is so much better cause you like them too.”
    “That’s true.”

    Allen dumps me on the couch and fetches my pizza. He’d propped my leg up on the coffee table in a nest of pillows so it wouldn’t roll side to side. I have no strength. My foot just keept lolling to one side or the other until he nested it into the pill of pillows.

    I eat my pizza and watch the news while typing a memo to my department head and my team. I inform them of the injury and the medication I’m taking. I tell them we should postpone the meeting till later in the week, but that I’d be attending by video conference regardless… and likely with the camera disabled.

    “I told them we could meet by video later in the week, but that I’d be mic only.” I tell him sending the email.
    “Why just the audio? I’ll bring you your makeup and a nice top.” Allen offers.
    “Look, if I can’t move around and clean myself, put my makeup on at my mirror in the bathroom, or pick out my own clothes, then I’m not going to worry myself about that. I’ll wear the nicer onesie and a diaper under my covers with the laptop on the breakfast table in the bed. No worries!”
    “Shit… now I have a song stuck in my head.” Allen laughs.

    He goes back to reading his tablet while I surf the internet casually watching the news. This is our real together time. Normally, my feet would be in his lap and I’d have my laptop on my stomach lounging on my end of the couch. This is the time we water and nurture our marriage by just hanging out together in peace.

    The time of the day where we remember that we love each other and that we can still share amicable silence despite the day’s dramas.

    I purposefully flood my diaper soaking myself completely. The sweet tea that I’d been chugging with my pizza knocked on the door of my bladder and I rushed it in. I hear the hissing in my diaper as I finally put some real push and pressure on a full wetting. I scrunch my toes in the walking boot (well, all but the big broken one) and feel elated that I don’t have to rush off to the bathroom.

    Maybe I’m just lazy…ha!
    It’s not like diapers are a wonder solution. They still have to be changed. They still have to be disposed of too. Since I’m going to keep shaving while I wear them, I still have to shave every day. Then there is the extra smelly trash and the more trash. Not to mention they have a cost associated with them.

    No diapers are usually shunned by those with control for a reason. I think they may be more work in the end… But, in my situation... not so much.

    Allen likes doing the work. He loves how I look in them. He feels special because I’m wearing something kinky for him. I love them. I love how they feel. I love how they look. I adore the crinkle sound. The biggest bonus is that I finally don’t have to worry about the Piddles. I’m master of my bathroom destiny now!

    I go when I want. I go where I want. I’m no longer the slave to my bladder!

    That is a liberating thought. I smile to myself at the freedom. No rushing off. Just doing my own thing bladder be damned!

    “Allen, when you can… I’m wet.” I tell him cheerfully.
    “Well that’s a turnabout. You couldn’t even tell me you liked how they sounded earlier.”
    “Pfft, it’s not like I’ve been wearing them that long babe. It’s new, but I love it. Even if my foot were fine, I’d prolly have gotten up three or four times since I came out of the bedroom just for bathroom trips. Every time I stand up I have to worry if I’ll piddle or even flood my pad. I have to think so much about my damn bladder…”
    “Not anymore! When your home that’s my job. I’ll just change you when I change Molly. Surely you can’t go more that our little leaky faucet!”
    “Really, you will? I mean I thought I’d have to handle it all when my foot was better.”
    “Nope, I really don’t mind. And any excuse I have to rub you down in oil is a good one with me!” Allen says lecherously.

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